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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24940372">A Drop in the Ocean</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/daftydraw/pseuds/daftydraw'>daftydraw</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWMelmoth/pseuds/JWMelmoth'>JWMelmoth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Drop in the Ocean [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Don't copy to another site, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Happiness for Kurt Hummel, Julian Smythe - Character, Juliper, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Olivia Smythe - Character, Past Klaine, Sequel, Unofficial Sequel, acitw, acitw au, mentions of past angst, mentions of past underage drinking and recreational drug use, rating is for occasional descriptions of sexual acts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:35:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>218,932</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24940372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/daftydraw/pseuds/daftydraw, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWMelmoth/pseuds/JWMelmoth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A fan-sequel of A Change in the Weather by Cacophonylights (2012). Kurt and Sebastian have decided to try dating for real, but it’s only the first step to becoming a real couple; there are challenges ahead that neither of them expected when they drove down to the beach house.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cooper Anderson/Original Male Character(s), Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Drop in the Ocean [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>629</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>203</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/363823">A Change in the Weather</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/cacophonylights/pseuds/cacophonylights">cacophonylights</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a fan-sequel of A Change in the Weather. ACITW has 22 chapters, but only 11 (+prologue) are up on AO3. We advise you to read the remaining chapters on livejournal before starting this sequel, because we start where chapter 22 ends. We have compiled a list of links to the remaining chapters at their original source here: </p><p>https://jwmelmoth.tumblr.com/post/617126597956370432</p><p>You can find Cacophonylights’ blanket permission for sequels here: https://cacophonylights.livejournal.com/17605.html</p><p>About this work: It may have come as a surprise to you that we uploaded all chapters of our fic in one go, as opposed to weekly updates for exposure/comments. We decided early on, even before we started writing, that the status of our sequel would never be a WIP. Although our collaboration track record shows we finish what we start, given the history of ACITW, we felt that potential readers would not take a sequel seriously until it was completed. So we said: "let's tell no one until we are 100% sure we have the whole thing wrapped up - and then post it all in one night". It meant keeping the project under wraps for over a year - but here we are: Happy 4th of July!</p><p>We are aware that this is not the only fanwork based on ACITW. Any possible similarities to any other fanworks are purely coincidental - and not unlikely, considering we are all working with the same tropes and plots to be solved from the original story.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: We have a lot of people to thank for their part in the making of this work, so rather than have a long list here at the beginning, we decided to dedicate each individual chapter to one or a few of them. First and foremost, of course: Cacophonylights. </p><p>Thank you for creating such a beautiful story that still captures the hearts and minds of fans to this day and thank you for giving a blanket permission for people to add to it and play with your OCs in your absence. Of course, we would all  love it if you came back to update yours - we will wait forever if we have to. But for now, we hope that our version of how it could have ended does your amazing story justice. We love your work, and hope you are happy and safe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sleep, it seems, has the power to erase or reset our short term memory, especially when the brain is not ready to accept reality after a big change. This is why, after experiencing a big loss, you may wake up in the belief that everything is as it used to be - only to lose it all over again as your brain fully wakes. Or why, on a well-earned holiday after a stressful period, you may feel disoriented waking up in a luxurious hotel room and believe you are late for work or school.</p><p>But when your brain is ready, when it's <em>there</em>, you wake up in the same state you went to sleep (if hopefully a little more rested). Your brain switches on like a light, and you're right back in the moment. You are ready.</p><p>As soon as Kurt opens his eyes, his brain is <em>there</em>. He's not confused about waking up in the beach house in North Carolina, with the sounds of waves and seagulls in his ears and the fresh scent of saltwater filling the room from the window they had opened to cool down during the night. He is definitely not confused about the boy in his arms, still asleep with his head pillowed on Kurt's chest, an arm and a long leg slung heavy and warm over Kurt's torso.</p><p>Kurt remembers exactly what they had been doing, and how they got here. There is still a lot for them to work out, but Kurt knows what he wants now. He is no longer trying to convince himself that it's not, or that Sebastian might not feel the same way.</p><p>He knows Sebastian is afraid: afraid of messing it up, going too fast or even too slow; of missing a step or stepping on Kurt's toes in this dance (with a hesitance he has never shown at Penny and Eduardo's, and Kurt's toes can attest to that!). It seems now that Sebastian has finally admitted to himself and Kurt that he may have a heart after all, it has come with a whole new package of fears about having it broken (though the more Kurt thinks about the furtive looks between Sebastian, Julian and Olivia sometimes, they may not be so much new fears; but rather echoes of old ones. There's still a story there. He doesn't believe it when Sebastian says he barely remembers, but there are things that can't be pushed, and this has to be one of them).</p><p>But they are together in this, finally, and because Kurt is not exactly without fears either (<em>fierce,</em> yes, but fearless? no), they can discover this new thing together; learn to be the couple inside that they have been projecting on the outside for weeks. Sebastian needs his help, needs him to lead for a while until he finds his footing and confidence, but Kurt is sure he'll be twirling them around the ballroom soon enough, and he can't wait.</p><p>When Sebastian starts to wake, Kurt contemplates pretending to be asleep to give him a moment to find himself, but he is too curious. He wants to know if Sebastian is <em>there</em> too, or if his brain has reset and he'll be shocked (or worse: sorry) to find himself in Kurt's arms. What is he supposed to do when that happens? Can he bear the heartache of being erased by dreams, of being <em>forgettable</em> (once again)?</p><p>Before Kurt can panic and go down the spiral of despair that he's found himself in since the gala, Sebastian breathes in deeply and opens his eyes, finding Kurt's immediately. His lips curl up into a smile, and Kurt smiles back, releasing the breath he had been holding. Not sorry, then.</p><p>"There you are," Kurt whispers.</p><p>"Here I am," Sebastian agrees, his voice a little raspy from sleep.</p><p>Kurt can see the moment Sebastian realizes what that means, and how much is at stake.</p><p>Sebastian's expression freezes, his eyes start darting around, taking in his surroundings. They are really here, by themselves, with no one around to play pretend for. It is just them and all of the yearning and unanswered questions between them, the opportunities, both bad and good; to make this all they never knew they always wanted, or fuck it up royally. His shoulders tighten, and he begins to pull away.</p><p>Before he can disentangle himself, Kurt cups his face with his hand. "It's okay, Bas. I'm here too."</p><p>The nickname pulls Sebastian back and he looks at Kurt, searching for something in his eyes. Kurt tries not to blink, to send him all the reassurance he can with a single look. <em>I want this,</em> he tries to say. <em>I want </em>you.<em> Please believe me. I want you, for better or for worse; you with your past and your rough edges, your alluring secrets and infuriating sense of humor. You.</em></p><p>Whether Sebastian hears his unspoken plea or not, his green eyes grow less stormy and he stops fighting it. He allows his body to relax and lets out a soft breath that Kurt feels, brushing warm against his face. "Okay," Sebastian whispers, almost inaudibly.</p><p>Kurt swipes the pad of his thumb over Sebastian's cheekbone and the small birthmark under his eye. He can feel Sebastian's heart, still thumping rapidly against him. It reminds him of holding a small animal, flighty and alert. He smirks, pretty sure Sebastian would not appreciate being compared to a bird or a pet rabbit. He never liked the Warbler bird metaphor either; he had never been captive nor needed someone to free him from any cage.</p><p>His smile is reflected in Sebastian's eyes and they sparkle. "What?" Sebastian demands, his lips already curling up in anticipation.</p><p>"Nothing," Kurt whispers reassuringly, now tracing his thumb to the small dimple around Sebastian's smile. It deepens as Sebastian's smile broadens.</p><p>"Sure babe," he replies. "Don't share your dirty jokes, see if I care..." His hand tightens a little around Kurt's waist and he turns his face into Kurt's palm, nuzzling it and unknowingly adding to the bunny image.</p><p>Kurt laughs and guides Sebastian's face towards his, pressing a light kiss on his lips before Sebastian can ask him to share the joke again. Their lips are dry from sleep, but their bodies remember this dance from the night before and automatically move closer together.</p><p>Sebastian's tongue darts out of his mouth to quickly coat his own lips. Kurt does the same, and they kiss again, their lips now softer and slightly slippery, sliding together and over each other, finally slotting into place as Kurt nips at Sebastian's top lip. Sebastian sucks Kurt's lower lip into his mouth, swiping his tongue over it.</p><p>After a moment, Kurt pulls his lip away and opens his mouth instead, inviting him in. Sebastian accepts, licking into Kurt's mouth, taking in his breath and running his tongue over Kurt's teeth. Kurt's hand runs through Sebastian's hair, winding his fingers in and tightening a little, angling his head so that he can press closer and meet his tongue with his own. Sebastian breathes in sharply through his nose and, <em>hello</em>, clearly Kurt isn't the only one who enjoys having his hair tugged. He files this information for later.</p><p>Meanwhile, he is becoming very aware of Sebastian's thigh, still resting on his hip, and the way every new press and dip brings them closer together. He doesn't think Sebastian's resolution to take it slow has changed overnight, and that means that maybe they should cool down soon. Soon. <em>Just not yet,</em> Kurt's lips beg, <em>just a little more.</em> Sebastian's sighs spell the same words, but one of them has to be the one to keep the pace.</p><p>Kurt's stomach makes the decision for them by growling loudly.</p><p>Sebastian snorts and chuckles a little against Kurt's lips. For a moment, Kurt is afraid he will tease him for making an unbecoming noise (Kurt's mind supplies a broad selection of clichées about ‘ladylike appetites' and other effeminophobic crap because that is what Sebastian might have said eons ago, and in some part of his brain Kurt still expects him to be that guy; he is still conditioned to believe it's his fate in life for boys like Sebastian to dish it out and for him to bear it) and the mood is effectively killed. He can't keep up a kiss if he has to brace for ridicule.</p><p>Kurt decides to let it be a sign and pulls away. He is comforted by the fact that Sebastian, his eyes wide and green and dark, looks just as sorry about this as Kurt feels, and not at all like he was about to say anything rude.</p><p>Kurt sits up. "Do we have any Oreos left from yesterday?" he asks.</p><p>"Don't think so," Sebastian replies, slowly resigning to the fact that they have stopped making out, and adjusting the sheet around his hips. The rest of his body looks sorry for the pause of their activities too. "Why don't you just try the kitchen?"</p><p>Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Try it for what? A wish-fulfilling genie?"</p><p>He hasn't brought any food, and apart from the cookies Sebastian had brought for breakfast the morning before, Kurt is pretty sure he hasn't packed anything either (Sebastian thinks cookies are a valid breakfast, after all). Yesterday, Kurt had figured they'd just drive to the nearest place in the morning and stock up for their stay.</p><p>He had initially planned to do that after their arrival the night before, but the sight of the ocean and standing there in Sebastian's embrace had driven all practical thoughts out of his mind.</p><p>Kurt smiles at the memory; Sebastian's excitement to show him the sea was maybe even bigger than his to see it, like it was some kind of present Sebastian had personally picked out and put there for him to find. It reminds Kurt a little of Finn in the weeks before Christmas, when he is all beaming smiles and hints until he inevitably reveals his Secret Santa by accident a few days before Christmas morning. Every year! But Sebastian's embrace and his voice murmuring in his ear had made Kurt feel far from <em>brotherly</em>, and suddenly all Kurt had wanted was to go inside with him, to unwind after the long drive and relax in each other's arms; to kiss, and do other things that people did when on a romantic getaway at a private beach.</p><p>That does not help their current situation though, and Kurt glances at Sebastian to ask what he is supposed to check for in the kitchen.</p><p>But Sebastian has rolled onto his back, a freckled arm thrown over his face, fully committed to stretching his long limbs and popping his joints like he has out-slept Rip Van Winkle.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head and gets up, figuring that even if he's pretty sure no Oreos will magically appear in the kitchen, he might find a pack of coffee leftover from the Smythes' last visit, and they can take it from there. He smoothes down his t-shirt, and with one last longing look at Sebastian, leaves the bedroom.</p><p>As he reaches the kitchen, Kurt realises he has, once again, underestimated the luxuries money can buy. At a beach house that is only in use a few weeks a year, he'd expect at least a small layer of dust or tracks of the fine sand that blows in as soon as a window is opened. Maybe some cobwebs, empty shelves or some food items gone over their use-by date. But the surfaces are immaculate, and what is more: the kitchen is fully stocked. Kurt <em>tsks</em> to himself.</p><p><em>Of course</em> the Smythes have people to keep the place ready for use. Their <em>people</em> probably have people. Even with their trip as short-notice as it was, all it would have taken was a call and a paycheck to get everything prepared for them.</p><p>There is a vacuum-sealed bag of unground dark roast coffee beans and a measuring spoon sitting next to a professional-looking espresso machine, aluminium surfaces polished to a shine. A look inside the fridge reveals fresh milk, chilled white wines, champagne, coke, bottles of what Kurt has come to know is Sebastian's favourite beer, and neatly wrapped packages of cheese and cold meats. In the pantry, there's boxes of crackers to go with the cheese, cornflakes and other non-perishables (but all, Kurt notices, still within their use-by date). Fresh baguettes poke from a paper bag on a wooden cutting board, smelling crispy and delicious. A large fruit basket sits on a side table, drops of condensation beading on the pears and apples. It can't have been sitting out long, confirming Kurt's suspicions that a discreet delivery person, a valet key to the pantry and a big paycheck were involved. They must have stocked up this morning while he and Sebastian were still asleep.</p><p>As Kurt glances over the arrangement, he notices a card stuck between the spiky leaves of the pineapple. He carefully retrieves it and reads its printed message, courtesy of a local food market.</p><p>
  <strong>Welcome home! We hope you'll find everything you need. We took the liberty of making a reservation for two at <em>Rolande</em> for Friday at 8, and that's the last of our meddling! Take good care of each other and enjoy the last days of your summer. See you in two weeks!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Mom and Dad</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>P.S. Julian says 'you're welcome for the bathroom supplies.' He insists they'll come in handy.</strong>
</p><p>Kurt frowns at the end of the message, his curiosity piqued despite his growling stomach. He takes the note with him and walks to the bathroom.</p><p>"I don't know what I expected," he mutters as he opens the cabinets. A family value pack of condoms and a large pump bottle of lube are hidden in plain view between the fluffy towels.</p><p>Kurt briefly tries to imagine the look on the person's face whose job it was to go grocery shopping for them, but then, with Julian as a regular guest, maybe they were used to it? He wonders how much the pay is to be the Smythe family's personal condom shopper. Probably more than he made helping out at his dad's tire shop. He is secretly glad he hasn't run into them in his pajamas.</p><p>He ignores the contents of the cabinet for now, uses the bathroom, and goes back to the kitchen to make coffee. The espresso machine is loud, grinding and hissing away to squeeze out piping hot drips of caffeine into the tiny porcelain cups Kurt has found in the cupboard. Bizarrely, the sounds and smells remind him of the Lima Bean, though he is pretty sure their espresso comes from pre-brewed capsules rather than freshly ground beans. If that machine was ever this loud, it was because it was decrepit and close to its demise, like his hopes and dreams of NYADA right before Sebastian walked into the door with his offer. It's hard to believe that was only seven weeks ago. So much has happened since then.</p><p>Kurt can't help but smile. He'd started off the summer single, heartbroken, and after that fateful phone call, sure he would never get out of Ohio. His future had certainly seemed bleak. Cue Sebastian bulldozing into his life and completely changing that around. They have somehow transitioned from enemies to allies, to sort-of-friends, to <em>actual</em> friends and now…</p><p>Kurt's stomach fills with butterflies. Now they have two whole weeks stretched out ahead of them to see if they have a real shot at being something <em>more</em>.</p><p>Kurt's eyes sweep around the kitchen as their coffee brews and they land on a picture of what can only be a younger version of Sebastian and Olivia, standing with their arms proudly crossed on either side of a large pile of sand that has Julian's head sticking out, beaming and sporting a retro-looking pair of sunglasses (no, not retro, Kurt corrects himself- Sebastian looks no more than nine or ten in this picture, so they are genuine 90s shades). The look of triumph and glee on little Sebastian's face at successfully burying his big brother brings an equally massive grin to Kurt's face.</p><p>As he looks at the photo and links the boy in the photo to the boy who woke up in his arms just now, he knows for sure that he's made the right decision now. The boy, not the dream.</p><p>If he's truthful with himself, the decision had been made weeks ago; when the walls between them had started to crumble and this thing began to feel more <em>real.</em> Kurt casts his mind back to not even a week ago, when he'd been trying to convince himself that it would be easy to walk away.</p><p>He had told himself over and over that it was okay, that they hadn't taken it too far yet, not beyond the point of no return- that it was all still in the realms of their agreement. He had tried to convince himself that he was only taking what Sebastian had too much of anyway, and that it wouldn't even leave a dent in his bank account. In this scenario, the money was a fair compensation for putting up with the insults and heckling that were a part of the deal. He had assured himself over and over that there was a line in the sand, but he'd not crossed it yet.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. How naive. Over the past weeks, he has crossed the line so many times that he can't even see it anymore.</p><p>The first step over it had been the engagement party; that feeling of belonging with Sebastian and his siblings in the kitchen, no longer an outsider to their family - and the way Sebastian had kissed him goodnight (Kurt still wasn't convinced that any of the Smythes had really been watching them).</p><p>Every flutter of his heart when Sebastian calls him ‘babe' has been a further step away from it (and god, that was that the biggest shock of them all- he has never enjoyed nicknames, as they were usually derogitory, but fuck if he didn't swoon every time Sebastian called him ‘babe'). It is not the only word from Sebastian's mouth that repeats itself in his mind either, giving him tingles whenever he thinks about him, and every nightly replay of the things Sebastian said to him (or about him) sends him further away from his self-set boundaries.</p><p><em>"I call him mine!"</em> (Another step over the line.)</p><p><em>"I may have taken my dad's car without asking,"</em> (Two steps.)</p><p><em>"Do you want to drive?"</em> (That one left the line in the sand <em>miles</em> behind.)</p><p><em>"I'm here…"</em> (What line?)</p><p><em>"I have to do this right with you…"</em> (oh you mean the one on the moon?)</p><p>The only way to deal with his conscience had been to move the line. His need to hold on to the one dream from his past he had left -if not <em>KurtandBlaine in New York</em>, then <em>Kurt alone at NYADA</em> at least, had made him justify everything...but now, he just can't anymore. He has left the dream and the line far behind, and he's done pretending.</p><p>Kurt never thought he'd be the kind of man who would put romance before ambition- he is a romantic, yes, but also a realist (he had to be, the way he grew up). He has always scoffed at the girls in the movies who change everything about themselves to impress their crush or to keep the guy; giving up their dream to satisfy someone else - Kurt has <em>been</em> in that situation, and he point-blank refused to do just that when Blaine asked him to consider it.</p><p>
  <em>"Come on Kurt, can't you defer for one year? Then we can go to New York together!"</em>
</p><p>As the memory of that conversation floats into his brain and he remembers how hurt Blaine had looked when he rejected that request, Kurt shuts down the little voice that says ‘maybe that's why Blaine left for the summer?' and ‘nine days'. A bitter taste floods his mouth at the thought of it. Back then, he had his place at NYADA, a scholarship to pay for part of the tuition and a financial aid package for the rest, everything was settled. Kurt thought he had been choosing between ‘staying in Ohio with Blaine' and ‘being in New York and a long-distance relationship with Blaine'; that he could have it all. If he had known that Blaine was going to break up with him not long after that talk, would he have chosen differently? If it had been Blaine<em> or</em> New York?</p><p>In his heart of hearts, Kurt knows he would have refused even then. The dream before the boy.</p><p>And now? Here he is, financial aid gone and the clock ticking away for him to get the admission fee, and he is choosing the boy after all. The difference is the boy.</p><p>Images flash before his eyes, playing back his highlights of the summer so far; kissing under the fireworks on the 4th of July; dancing the night away in a gay bar in Columbus; their catastrophic but hilarious first date; riling Sebastian up in truth or dare at the pool party; Sebastian socializing with his family and showing he knows how to play nice, taking turns driving Sebastian's beautiful car, laughing and singing classic pop hits way too loud.</p><p>His eyes travel to the letter from Charlotte and Greg and a new warmth flows through him.</p><p>Dreams change, this summer has taught him that. Things change and move on and what you end up with at the end is often better than you originally expected. Maybe he is getting the boy <em>and</em> the dream after all - it's a new dream, one that they can build together.</p><p>The espresso machine <em>dings</em> to signal its completion, and Kurt goes through the motions of adding sugar to Sebastian's and a dash of creamer and half a spoon of sugar to his own, focusing on the now. He isn't going to waste one more moment lying to himself.</p><p>The line has been crossed, he can't take Sebastian's money, and there is no hope in hell of him getting it any other way in time, so he's not going to worry about it. He is going to take these coffees to the bedroom, sit out on the private porch with his boyfriend (because that is what Sebastian is now, his <em>real</em> boyfriend, and his stomach does a little flip as that word floats around his head.<em> Boyfriend.</em> It's going to take some getting used to, but he likes it - it no longer alliterates like ‘my boyfriend Blaine' but that only serves as a reminder that everything is going to be different this time around) and then he is going to do what Greg and Charlotte have instructed; enjoy the last days of summer.</p><p>*****</p><p>Kurt puts the cups on their fitting saucers and takes them back to the bedroom. It seems he was not the only one drawn to the porch, as he finds the bed empty and the large french doors thrown wide open, the fresh morning sea-breeze blowing through and making the drapes dance. Through the sheer fabric, he can see that Sebastian is already sitting on the porch swing, wrapped in a bedsheet, looking out over the sea.</p><p>Kurt steps out through the doors. He lets his eyes follow the direction Sebastian is looking in, and he stops short. The water, that had been mysterious and overwhelming in the moonlight, looks majestic in the light of morning, all pale blue and pastels, sunlight glittering on the small ripples of the waves lapping at the sand. Again, Kurt feels the humility one feels at being a sole human facing a vast, timeless ocean; and at the same time, also revels in the almost <em>royal </em>satisfaction of knowing this view is theirs alone, their personal treasure. He takes a little more time taking it in, cooling coffees be damned, because this is what it feels like to start over; it's a new dawn, there are no tracks in the sand, everything is washed clean. It is a dawn just for them.</p><p>Whatever this place has cost the Smythes, Kurt decides here and now it is worth every penny.</p><p>Sebastian turns to face him and smiles. "I see you got your wish," he muses, shifting a little on the swing to make room for Kurt.</p><p>"I did, though someone else had already rubbed the lamp for us," Kurt replies.</p><p>He pauses and presses his lips together to stop himself from laughing at his own words. He watches Sebastian, who is also fighting the corners of his mouth. They look into each other's eyes, and neither of them needs to elaborate on the joke (a wide range of choices spanning from Christina Aguilera to the pornhub remake of <em>Aladdin</em>). It is clear from their expressions that their minds are both going there. Sebastian shakes his head and chuckles, and Kurt feels a childish bubble of pride rise up in his chest at making him laugh first.</p><p>"You knew the kitchen pantry would be stocked, didn't you?" he asks, sitting down next to Sebastian.</p><p>"It always is," Sebastian says casually.</p><p>"Probably not always," Kurt corrects him. "Just when your parents get someone to fill it up."</p><p>"Same thing," Sebastian says, shrugging.</p><p>"Not really. It's not like you have house elves. Julian made someone buy condoms for us!"</p><p>Kurt tries not to sound too indignant, but it's hard. Even after all the time he has spent at the Smythe's estate, in the heated pool or their luxury cars, the air of decadence Sebastian sometimes exudes still irks him.</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "Well, that's good, right?" He studies Kurt's expression, and his smile fades a little. "I'm sure they were well-compensated," he adds, a little uncertain. "My family is not- ...I mean, buying condoms isn't so bad. People will do anything for the right price, right?"</p><p>"Right."</p><p>The sudden silence between them is worth $9,285.63.</p><p>"That's not what I meant," Sebastian offers, and because he notices, Kurt already feels his heart soften. It's no longer like it was in the beginning, when Sebastian would be oblivious about the effect of his words.</p><p>"I know," Kurt says, meeting him halfway. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get sanctimonious on you."</p><p>Sebastian's smile slowly creeps back onto his face. "You might make a good man of me yet, Kurt Hummel."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "I hope not." He hands Sebastian one of the cups.</p><p>"Two sugars?" Sebastian asks.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Sebastian nods appreciatively, and Kurt can see he is holding himself back to add any jokes about house elves, so they are good for now.</p><p>"This view's amazing," Kurt says, his eyes drawn back to the ocean.</p><p>"Told ya," Sebastian agrees, pointedly shrugging the sheet off his shoulders and preening a little before innocently adding "oh, <em>that</em> view. Yeah, it's alright I guess."</p><p>Kurt pokes out his tongue, but enjoys the joke anyway. And he's right, it <em>is</em> a good view. Still, for good measure, he adds: "You're not impressing me by being blasé about everything, Sebastian. It's okay to be awed once in a while."</p><p>As if admonished into taking the sea seriously, Sebastian dutifully looks at the waves and is silent for a while. Kurt can't help but wonder what is going through his mind. Is he really thinking about the ocean and its mysteries, or is he reminiscing about other times he's been here, strolling over the beach with local boys, maybe?</p><p>Suddenly, the delivery person has a face in Kurt's mind- a handsome face, vaguely reminiscent of Jeremiah, with curly, sun-bleached hair, a perfect tan and blindingly white teeth. Not-Jeremiah smiles and holds out a pear. Kurt shakes his head, trying to dispel the image. (If Sebastian really knows the beach house valet that way, then Julian's condom order may have him waiting by the phone for a party invitation. <em>Tough luck</em>, Kurt thinks vengefully, <em>that's not gonna happen</em>). He suddenly feels a lot less bad about making him stock the house.</p><p>"I am," Sebastian finally says, and Kurt has to do a double-take to remember exactly what he is replying too. "Awed, I mean."</p><p>Kurt does not ask him to elaborate. Whether he means the sea or their whole situation, or both, Kurt feels the same way.</p><p>"Do you wanna go out there?" Sebastian asks.</p><p>"To the beach?" Kurt asks. "Or into the water?"</p><p>"Technically, you need to go to the beach to reach the water," Sebastian says, smirking at himself, and Kurt pushes his arm lightly. "...but yeah- go for a swim, or a walk. Or I could show you the boat." He follows Kurt's quizzical look at the empty beach and adds: "The water's too shallow here. It's docked at the pier in the bay. We could take the car up."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "As amazing as your car is, I've seen enough of it for a while. But I'd like to go for a swim, maybe. After breakfast."</p><p>"Oh, right." Sebastian grins and nods at Kurt's stomach, making a claw of his hand and mimicking a growl.</p><p>"I can't help it," Kurt protests. "My body is like a fine-tuned machine and it runs like clockwork."</p><p>"Say no more," Sebastian decides, finishing his espresso. "Just sit back and relax, I'll make us some breakfast."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Please don't try to make french toast again? I don't want you to set the house on fire on our first day here. I'd be fine with some fruit and a piece of bread."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," Sebastian grumbles, pulling the sheet closer around himself before getting up. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"</p><p>"Never," Kurt agrees smugly.</p><p>*****</p><p>Twenty minutes, two more coffees and a very decent breakfast selection later, Kurt's stomach has stopped rumbling. Sebastian, who had pretended breakfast was all for Kurt's sake and said he ‘could have gotten by on a coffee and some grapes', has eaten an entire round of brie and half a baguette. <em>It's the salty air,</em> he claims. <em>I always forget how hungry it makes me. </em>Kurt, who has seen him eat cheese on more than one occasion and knows it's a bullshit excuse, smiles pleasantly and agrees. He could argue everything, but then they'd never stop, and he has more plans for their holiday than arguing like an old married couple.</p><p>They both reach for the last grape.</p><p>"Go ahead," Bas offers.</p><p>"No, you have it," Kurt says.</p><p>"Sure? Cuz I'm not gonna roll it over to you on the plate with my nose or anything."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Please. I wouldn't expect you to."</p><p>He doesn't even really mean it as a dig about Sebastian's projected lack of romance (Kurt knows there's a romantic hidden away in him somewhere, if their date at the sushi place is anything to go by) but he can tell that's how his boyfriend takes it.</p><p>Sebastian stares down at the grape a little dejectedly. Then something hardens in his expression and he lets out a huff of breath, squares his shoulders, and pops it into his mouth.</p><p>"I bet I can outswim you," he states with his mouth full, and he points at a red buoy floating in the water. "I used to race Julian there and back, and he never beat me. Ever."</p><p>Kurt decides to humor him, and replies: "Oh really? Would he back you up on this if I asked?"</p><p>"Of course not, but he'd be lying," Sebastian says pointedly. "He'd never admit to me beating him at anything."</p><p>"You're his baby brother, what do you expect?" Kurt says, laughing a little. He knows one thing Sebastian has Julian beaten at by far, but for now, he keeps that to himself. Then, he crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow in silent challenge. "And who says I can't outswim you both?"</p><p>"Me," Sebastian retorts promptly, cocking his head. "Suit up and bring it, Hummel."</p><p>Kurt's eyes glitter. "Okay. Prepare for humiliation, Smythe."</p><p>In all honesty Kurt isn't even that good of a swimmer, but he is fit enough, and he can't resist the challenge. The way he sees it; if he wins, he gets eternal bragging rights. If he loses, Sebastian will feel great about himself the rest of the day, and the thought of a happy Sebastian makes Kurt feel warm inside, so it's really a win-win situation.</p><p>They clear away the remains of breakfast, and Sebastian offers to get the towels and change in the bathroom so Kurt can put his swim trunks on. <em>Again with the privacy</em>, Kurt muses as he rummages through his suitcase. He appreciates it, and knows Sebastian is just still trying to figure all of this out, but a harmless, platonic oggle of his own boyfriend really shouldn't count as ‘going too fast', should it?</p><p>He brought two pairs of trunks with him (so what if he's an overpacker, a boy needs <em>choices</em>) and he pulls both pairs out of the suitcase, laying them next to each other on the bed. The first pair are his own - the same ones that he'd planned to wear to Julian's pool party before the miscommunication disaster that had ensued, and the second pair are Finn's, slightly too long for him and baggy around the middle, but comfortable and probably more practical.</p><p>He decides to try his own first and steps into them, practicality be damned. Finn's trunks come almost all the way down to his knees and despite everything that has changed between them, he wouldn't put it past Sebastian to ask if he had brought water wings too.</p><p>He takes this moment to ponder the fact that he still hasn't bought a replacement pair; shopping is part of his DNA, after all (if scientists ever dissected one of his cells he's pretty sure it'd be made up of shopping, singing, and excellent skin care), but the fact that he hasn't even considered buying a new pair makes him realise just how much he has changed as a person this summer. Before, the idea of showing too much skin even in front of his boyfriend would have made him balk; but <em>now</em> it kind of thrills him a little. Who knew Kurt Hummel could be such an exhibitionist?</p><p>He runs his hands down the sides of his trunks, smoothing the fabric down and shifting his weight from one hip to the other. He does a few stretches and twists, making sure that he can move in them without cutting off circulation and that they're not going to do something embarrassing like rip in half the second he starts swimming.</p><p>He <em>can </em>move in them, but they do feel a little tight around the top of his inner thigh and they are definitely hugging his ass more than they did when he bought them last year. He eyes Finn's pair again, wondering if he <em>should</em> go for practicality over vanity, but then scenarios of wardrobe malfunctions that could arise with loose-fitting clothes when the material gets wet and heavy pop into his head and he decides to keep his own trunks on after all.</p><p>Feeling even a little more daring, he also decides against a shirt. It's a private beach, after all, and if Sebastian is too chivalrous to sneak a peek as he gets dressed, he's gonna get one when they head out whether he wants to or not. Yeah, maybe Kurt really does have an exhibitionist streak.</p><p>Sebastian comes back from the bathroom with two towels over one shoulder. He's wearing sunglasses and a different pair of swim shorts than he had on at the pool party (because<em> of course </em>he would own more than one pair; he may claim shopping isn't his thing but he sure has a big wardrobe). They are loose-fitting and red, like his car, and Kurt makes a mental note to make a Baywatch joke but not just yet, because right now he is just admiring the view.</p><p>Sebastian is coming up empty for words too, it seems, and for a moment they just sort of stand there and look at each other. Kurt lets his eyes wander over Sebastian's torso, following the lines of freckles splattered over his skin. A summer spent in the sun has made them multiply in number and Kurt thinks longingly about tracing them with something other than his eyes; his fingers for example, or his lips…</p><p>Sebastian clears his throat and effectively snaps Kurt out of his trance. Kurt blushes slightly but notices that his boyfriend is also looking a little flustered, which makes him feel better for the momentary lapse in concentration. He grabs his sunglasses off the nightstand and follows Sebastian out of the room. They walk down the narrow corridor, brushing against each other slightly, and at the touch of Sebastian's skin against his, Kurt feels a hot flush of self-consciousness. Suddenly he is wishing he hadn't picked such a revealing outfit. He almost wants to double back and change, but then at the doorway to the back terrace, Sebastian takes his hand and curls their fingers together. He grins at Kurt widely, squeezing his grip, and the gesture instantly settles Kurt's nerves and he squeezes back.</p><p>They make their way down the wooden stairs that lead to the beach. The ground at the bottom is spattered with a few dry, grassy patches and they step around them carefully until they hit smooth, soft sand. Kurt stops for a moment and curls his toes, wriggling them around a little, he lets out a happy little sigh.</p><p>Sebastian musters him. "You're not much of a barefoot guy, are you?" he asks fondly.</p><p>"I never gave myself the chance to find out," Kurt admits. "Though in my defence, the closest to this Lima gets is their summer ‘beach club' which is basically a parking lot temporarily filled with industrial sand and deck chairs as an excuse to sell overpriced umbrella drinks. And I don't even want to know where that sand has been."</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "That sounds gross."</p><p>"It is. I don't even like putting my boots in it, let alone my feet. You just know the local kids will get drunk and puke, and then kick some sand over it to cover it up."</p><p>"Yeah, we've all been there," Sebastian says, starting up again.</p><p>"Oh, not me. The only places I've thrown up were over my school counselor's feet and backstage once," Kurt says lightly. "And in your bathroom."</p><p>Sebastian stops again and eyes him critically. "Okay, I vaguely remember one out of the three...but the other two sound like juicy stories."</p><p>Kurt wrinkles his nose. "Smelly stories, more like. And maybe some other time, we've just had breakfast."</p><p>"You started it," Sebastian reminds him, a little petulantly. "Tease."</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes, and before he knows it, (because apparently he can't refuse Sebastian anything) he's telling him about April Rhodes and how he still feels ill looking at muscle magazines, and then about his NYADA audition and how there was no alcohol involved and he never really found out if that last accident was nerves at being confronted with Madame Tibideaux or just the tight waistband of his golden pants pressing into his gut at every move, but it got him his place at NYADA so he grateful for that day anyway.</p><p>He's embellishing his stories because he loves the way Sebastian hangs on his lips, and he had never thought that sharing something about a past embarrassment could be anything else other than, well, embarrassing. Now he's finding out that it's not about the story but about the <em>sharing</em>, and the opening up, as if to say ‘I am a little ashamed that happened but I trust you with the story and I want you to get the full scope of me, mess-ups and all'. He finishes as they reach the shoreline, and Sebastian is looking at him with an unreadable expression.</p><p>"What?" Kurt asks, suddenly afraid he has over-shared.</p><p>"Nothing. I just...I'm a little relieved to hear I am not the only one who has thrown up backstage," Sebastian admits, shrugging and fiddling with the towels on his shoulder. "The first time I went on stage as Captain of the Warblers, with my whole family watching? It wasn't pretty, I'll tell you that."</p><p>Kurt smiles a little because he remembers that performance, and even though they hadn't exactly been friends back then, even he had admitted it was good.</p><p>"Apparently the New Directions threw up on stage when I was at Dalton," he confides in Sebastian. "Brittney and Santana actually threw up <em>on</em> Rachel, I am told." It feels a little out of order to tattle on them given their former rivalry, but he and Sebastian are a team now, aren't they? Team <em>Kurt and Sebastian</em>. And it isn't exactly gossip if it had happened for a whole pep rally to see. There are probably youtube videos of it.</p><p>Sebastian is staring at him with his mouth open. "Wh-...what?" he manages to bring out.</p><p>"There was alcohol involved in that one," Kurt adds. "Rachel mixed it."</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "How come I am only hearing about this now? And why weren't they expelled? That's outrageous!"</p><p>Kurt smirks. "The principal thought it was special effects. But yeah, he also believed Tina was a vampire for the longest time, so…"</p><p>"Public school is kinda crazy, huh?" Sebastian concludes, and he reaches down to lay out the towels neatly on the sand.</p><p>"Mmm," Kurt humms noncommittally, casting his eyes out over the water, because <em>yes</em>, it was, but he still went back to McKinley semi-voluntarily after his stay at Dalton, because it was the home of his Glee club and his very first friends. It wasn't their fault they couldn't afford better schools.</p><p>"When were you at Dalton again?" Sebastian asks, straightening up again. Apparently he was still processing what Kurt had said, and the scandalous bits had overridden the rest for a moment.</p><p>Kurt turns to look at him and pulls up the corner of his mouth. "A few months in my junior year," he says. He remembers telling Julian about it when they had invaded his house at 2 am and he and Sebastian had to pretend they had been been sleeping together in his bed when his brother came around- but Sebastian was pretty far gone by then and had probably needed his last sober brain cells to keep up the possessive posturing against his brother.</p><p>Kurt doesn't volunteer more information, not sure if he's ready for that part of his life to be discussed while he's out in the open, wearing only swimming trunks and sunglasses. It feels more like a story to be shared in layers; clothes, blankets, possibly a pillow fort, and the cover of darkness.</p><p>"Oh, right. That's when I was in Paris," Sebastian says pensively.</p><p>Kurt doesn't need the reminder- it was almost all Sebastian (and by association, Blaine) had talked about after they just met. It's a time Kurt doesn't remember very fondly, but he wants to drag that out here at the beach as little as he wants to tell him about David Karofsky, so he chooses another way out.</p><p>"Well, you can never resist one-upping me, can you?" he teases lightly. "I go to public school, you go private. I go private, you go <em>French</em>."</p><p>Sebastian chuckles and slides his sunglasses down his nose to look at Kurt. "That's me, babe. It's in my DNA." He winks. "But why-"</p><p>"Ready, steady, go!" Kurt shouts, drops his sunglasses on the towels and starts to run through the sand towards the water.</p><p>"Hey!!!" Sebastian shouts, and sprints after him, whipping his sunglasses off and throwing them behind him in the general direction of the towels. "You play dirty, Kurt!!"</p><p>"I thought you knew that by now!" Kurt calls back, laughing breathlessly.</p><p>He reaches the water and keeps running, water splashing up under his feet, but he slows a bit because, <em>holy shit that is cold.</em> Sebastian uses the momentum to catch up, and Kurt can't help but admire the way he doesn't even flinch when he hits the water, and it really does tap into some kind of Baywatch fantasy Kurt didn't even know he had to see him pull up his long legs to jump over the waves, his arms tucked in against his torso and a determined look on his face. The only things missing are the slo-mo effect and the theme song. It makes Kurt's knees go a little weak, and if he isn't careful he may actually need to be rescued from the water. Would that be a <em>bad</em> thing?</p><p>He tears his eyes away from his sexy lifeguard boyfriend and reminds himself this is supposed to be a race, and even if he doesn't really need to win, he does need to offer a bit more competition than this. He kicks it up a notch and soon they reach water deep enough to swim. He takes a deep breath and dives in, giving no thoughts about the conditioning his hair will need after being drenched in salt water. Maybe he wants to win just a little after all.</p><p>Once they are swimming, it's an even match. Kurt can hear Sebastian's laboured breaths next to him, and if he concentrates on swimming and not on the thought of Sebastian's wet and slippery body, the feel and taste of which his body remembers from a time where there was less salt and more tequila and limes involved, then Kurt can keep up.</p><p>They reach the buoy at about the same time. Sebastian slaps it with his palm. "Not bad," he says, breathing hard.</p><p>Kurt puts his hand on the buoy as well and nods. "You too," he lets out, bringing up his other hand to wipe the salt water out of his face.</p><p>"Race you back?" Sebastian asks. Kurt nods. He can feel his arms and legs burn a little from the unusual exercise, but he's in touch with his body and it's not giving out any warning signs beyond a possible muscle ache. He still has some swimming in him.</p><p>"Okay, three, two, one, go!" Sebastian says, and lets go of the buoy. Kurt pushes away as well, and they start swimming again.</p><p>Kurt can see the shallower part of the beach ahead, where the water goes from deep, dark blue to aquamarine and then green and finally beige where the sand shimmers through. He also sees Sebastian's broad shoulders, dipping in and out of the water as his arms go round in a powerful front crawl. Kurt gave up that technique halfway and is following with a simple breast stroke. It's okay, because the sight of Sebastian rising to his feet from the water is something he might have missed if he was still doing a crawl. Water sluices down his back, and his red swim shorts are sucked tightly against his body, clinging to the curve of his backside and his slender thighs. Kurt slows his breast stroke just to stall for time. Sebastian shakes his head, clearing the water from his face, and droplets fly from his hair in all directions. Then he turns back to see where Kurt is, and he grins triumphantly.</p><p>Kurt reaches the sandy shore and rises to his feet as well, sucking in his stomach and flexing his arms just a little when he reaches up to push the hair out of his face, well-aware of his one-man audience. His swim trunks cling to him like a second skin, and it kind of feels like he ought to be carrying a harpoon or wearing a diving knife strapped to his thigh, because his emergence from the ocean is Halle Berry-worthy. It has certainly stopped Sebastian in his tracks. With a small smile, Kurt saunters up to him, wading through the water rather than trying to step over it, and does not stop until they are face to face.</p><p>Sebastian is looking at him hungrily, his eyes dark and roving all over his body. Kurt recognises that look, and feels it even more heatedly on his skin now that it's daylight and the world is not veiled by alcohol. He gathers up his last ounce of determination- and pushes past Sebastian, stepping onto the dry sand with both feet and shouting: "Hummel wins!"</p><p>"What the f- <em>No!</em>" Sebastian lets out, slapping the surface of the water with the flat of his hand in frustration, sending drops flying in Kurt's direction.</p><p>Kurt laughs and moves towards the towels, bending down to pick one up. He walks back to the water and holds it out to Sebastian. "I know," he says, still a little pleased with himself. "That was awful. I am not a very nice person."</p><p>Sebastian harrumphs, but steps out of the water and accepts the towel. He dries off his face. "I am just pissed I didn't try that on you first," he says. "Here I was, trying to play fair for once…"</p><p>"Oh, you usually cheat, then?" Kurt asks, smirking.</p><p>"Of course," Sebastian replies matter-of-factly. "I have to, Julian's eight years older than me, remember? I usually pretend I am drowning, or hit my foot on a rock..." He grins. "Sometimes Liv helps from the shore by shouting that there's jellyfish right in front of him or something. We tried to fake a shark attack once."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Your parents must have loved that. Having their kids play pretend at dying."</p><p>"They're used to it. We're all very dramatic," Sebastian says casually. He smiles at Kurt. "You fit right in."</p><p>"I'll let you win next time," Kurt promises, feeling warm and generous after Sebastian's words. He reaches for the other towel to wrap it around his hips.</p><p>"What else did you and Julian used to compete at when you stayed here? And I want to hear about day-time, PG-rated pissing contests, because it's not even lunchtime yet." Kurt sits down in the sand sand, locking his arms around his knees.</p><p>Sebastian snorts. "Well, there were the<em> actual</em> pissing contests-" he starts playfully, plopping himself down in the sand next to Kurt.</p><p>Kurt wrinkles his nose.</p><p>"Or deep-throating popsicles..."</p><p>"Sorry, <em>what?</em>" Kurt blinks, caught off guard, and Sebastian chuckles, pleased that he has managed to shock Kurt again.</p><p>"You know those freezies that come in a tube sheathe, and you push them out to suck them-"</p><p>Kurt nods, already getting the picture.</p><p>"Well, when I was younger, like, <em>way</em> too young to know anything about anything-"</p><p>"There was such a time?" Kurt teases.</p><p>"I mean when I was about six or something, get your mind out of the gutter, please."</p><p>Kurt smirks and dutifully pretends to be admonished. Sebastian rolls his eyes but Kurt can see the laughter dancing behind the green irises; in the sunlight, with the sea reflecting in them, they look almost like emeralds.</p><p>"Anyway," Sebastian continues, breaking Kurt from his thoughts again (god what is wrong with him? <em>Focus, Kurt!).</em> "So I was six and for some reason I really liked pushing those popsicles all the way down my throat, or as far as they would go anyway, and Julian, who already knew just about everything about everything, thought it was hilarious, and encouraged me. The first one who threw up or blasted slush through their nose lost."</p><p>"That sounds like something Finn and Puck would do," Kurt says, partially amused, partially disgusted.</p><p>"Then Olivia caught on, and boy did she school us," Sebastian continues. "She really has no gag reflex whatsoever!"</p><p>"That must be nice for Brian," Kurt muses.</p><p>"Yeah. Wait, <em>what!?</em> Dude, that's my sister!!" Sebastian lets out, scandalized, and Kurt laughs.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says. "What else?"</p><p>Sebastian shakes himself, frowning at the sand for a moment, obviously trying to think of something that does not give him any more inappropriate thoughts about his siblings.</p><p>"Well, sometimes we'd go fishing or crabbing-"</p><p>"Crabbing?" Kurt repeats, a little horrified. "As in actual, live crabs?"</p><p>"Blue crabs, they're delicious," Sebastian confirms. "Though you can only keep them if they're over 5 inches. Smaller ones you have to throw back to mature."</p><p>"Okay, I love a good paella as much as the next guy, but there is seriously no way on earth you are making me hunt and kill my own food. I'll give you that win, and you can throw in a joke about my girlish squeamishness for free," Kurt says, feeling queasy at the mere thought of dealing with seafood when it's still moving.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs, passing up on the offer of a good roast (a first, probably). "We don't have to do it. There's loads of other stuff to do here, there's the national parks, the lighthouses, aquariums- or we could just hang at the house. Whatever you want, Kurt." He sounds honest and eager to please.</p><p><em>Whatever you want.</em> If only Kurt knew exactly <em>what </em>he wanted out of all this; how they were going to go forward and grow into this relationship.</p><p>"There's another thing we used to do," Sebastian adds before Kurt can get lost in his thoughts again. "Or...I don't know, maybe you think it's childish-"</p><p>"What?" Kurt likes these little glimpses of Sebastian's family life, the sibling stories, ones that aren't all bragging and posturing- they are stories of a real family, of a childhood playing in the sun.</p><p>"One year we went to Jockey's Ridge State Park at Nags Head, and there was this sandcastle building contest. These guys were like, crazy talented, we're talking real castles with turrets and bridges and balconies, and I felt like I had found my calling. I immediately instituted the Smythe Sand Castle Competition. I was about eight, I think. Julian and I would compete. Mom and Liv were the judges. Dad would watch us dig while the girls went swimming, and when they got back they'd rate what we built. We had several disciplines, like height, style, originality…"</p><p>Kurt just looks at him, unable to keep the little hearts out of his eyes. He can just imagine a tiny Sebastian working away in the sand with buckets and shovels, trying once again to beat his big brother at something.</p><p>Sebastian's smile falls a little. "When Jules left, Liv tried to take over, but she'd always let me win and it just wasn't the same." He shrugs. "Or maybe she really sucks at building sand castles, I don't know." He pushes his feet deep into the sand. "I haven't built one since Paris."</p><p>Suddenly, the question of what he wants to do has been answered. Kurt takes Sebastian's hand and waits until his green eyes meet his. "Challenge accepted," he states.</p><p>Sebastian's eyes widen. "For real?"</p><p>Kurt grins. "I've never built a sand castle in my life, but I'm willing to give it a try."</p><p>The look of pure enthusiasm on Sebastian's face already makes Kurt's impending defeat worth it. He looks years younger, and again, Kurt can't help but think of Finn. There's a little boy in the both of them.</p><p>"I'll get the gear," Sebastian says eagerly, scrambling to get up. "And drinks! You want a coke?"</p><p>"Uh, sure. Gear?" Kurt asks. Are there official tools involved?</p><p>"Yeah. You know. Shovels, buckets, all that stuff. We have loads, they're in the shed!" He darts off and Kurt watches him go, amazed how he can go from sexy and suave to ‘excited puppy' in seconds flat. Sebastian's enthusiasm is infectious and Kurt is already thinking of designs; towers, courtyards, little hedgerows like the garden of Versailles...</p><p>Sebastian returns a while later with his arms full of building tools and a cooler bag hanging from his shoulder. "Could you…?" he asks, leaning to the side a little.</p><p>"Oh! Yes." Kurt lifts the strap of the cooler bag from Sebastian's shoulder and he shifts the buckets to his other hand so he can extract his arm. He smiles gratefully.</p><p>"Thanks. It was getting heavy. Okay, you here, me there?" Sebastian points at two flat areas of sand and plops the tools in the middle.</p><p>"Um...sure," Kurt says, and he picks up a shovel and a bucket. He chuckles a little. "I think this one is past its prime," he muses, holding up the bucket. It has no bottom and he peekaboos through it, making a face at Sebastian.</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "That's the tamping mold," he says. "It's supposed to be like that. You fill it with wet sand from the top and then-" He stops himself. "You really haven't done this before, have you?"</p><p>"What, you thought I was just saying that to be cute?" Kurt asks.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs, grinning a little sheepishly. "I don't know, but it was." He looks at the tools. "How about I show you, and we build one together?"</p><p>Kurt beams. "I'd like that."</p><p>Half an hour later, Kurt has learned how to make a solid base from wet sand, jiggling it until the water binds the sand molecules, and Sebastian has set the mold to create several robust looking towers. He shows Kurt how to connect them with walls and then sits back, looking pleased.</p><p>"It looks good," Kurt says, and Sebastian snorts.</p><p>"It's just the base. We still need to carve it. I just thought we'd let it set for a moment and have a drink."</p><p>"Oh." Kurt looks at him from the side, wondering how much carving and detail the sandcastles of an eight year old would have had. More likely, this is Sebastian trying to recreate from memory something he has seen Julian do. It doesn't matter- he is enjoying himself, and that's what's important. They grab cold cans of coke from the cooler bag and enjoy the sun for a bit.</p><p>Then Sebastian hands Kurt a small, flat shovel and a spoon, and shows him how to chisel away at the compacted sand, starting at the top and working their way down. It takes a very delicate hand and steady nerves, but soon enough, the towers have pointed roofs and tiny turrets. Sebastian asks Kurt to continue shaping turrets on the walls while he mixes more wet sand. As he starts cursing, Kurt looks up from his work.</p><p>"Something wrong?"</p><p>Sebastian sighs. "I'm trying to make an archway," he says, sounding frustrated. "But it keeps collapsing. Julian made it look so easy!"</p><p>"Do you need help?" Kurt asks, putting his tools down.</p><p>"No. It's okay," Sebastian says. "It doesn't really need an archway." He glares at the pile of sand in front of him, pursing his lips with a frown.</p><p>"But you want one," Kurt states.</p><p>Sebastian looks at him and pulls up the corner of his mouth. "Kinda, yeah."</p><p>"Then I'll help you," Kurt says with determination. He never thought he'd be doing this and actually be <em>enjoying</em> it, but it's addictive and he's committed now, despite the fact that there's sand caked under his fingernails and salt in his hair. Together, they manage a more or less stable archway, though it's a little lopsided.</p><p>"Thanks. I know it's kind of dumb." Sebastian sits back and looks at their castle. "I mean, we literally spent hours making it, and it'll dry out and fall apart in less time than that."</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I think it is very relaxing," he muses and smoothes the sand at the base once more. "Almost meditative. Like one of those mandalas of colored sand. You know that nature will take it all back, but the reward is in the process."</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian agrees. He reaches for the cooler bag. It has a zippered pouch on the outside, and he pulls out his wallet. "Okay, the final touch." He pulls out his credit card.</p><p>Kurt frowns. What on earth does he need that for at the beach?</p><p>With his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration, Sebastian uses the card to carve the tiniest little staircase down the wall to the archway.</p><p>Kurt laughs. "Only a Smythe's sand castle is sculpted with a platinum card," he quips, and Sebastian laughs along so hard he nearly crushes the archway with his knee. Just before that can happen, Kurt pulls him away and onto his back in the sand. The castle is saved.</p><p>For a moment, Sebastian just lies there, laughing happily and looking up at Kurt, squinting a little at the sunlight with one sandy hand raised to shade his eyes. Then he comes up on one elbow and he reaches out to take hold of the back of Kurt's neck instead, pulling his face down towards him. His broad smile relaxes and his mouth opens, lips forming a silent ‘ah' as he locks them on Kurt's.</p><p>Sebastian tastes salty, not like himself at all; he tastes like the sea and the sun and the joy of a childhood rediscovered. Kurt presses in hungrily, licking at his lips for more of it. He feels positively lightheaded. Some sand rains down on Sebastian's face from Kurt's hair, and Kurt can also feel it tickle down his chest from Sebastian's hand. It's going to be <em>everywhere</em>, and Kurt doesn't mind. He kisses his way to Sebastian's cheekbone, brushing his face against Sebastian's cheek, and the sand between them feels like they haven't shaved in days. Kurt chuckles, vaguely thinking this is the most pleasant facial peeling he's ever had, when he notices Sebastian is trying to get his attention.</p><p>"Kurt. I said hold up."</p><p>Sebastian sounds a bit flushed, like it's maybe the second or third time he's said it. Kurt immediately pulls away. "I'm sorry, was that-" he starts, but Sebastian shakes his head.</p><p>"I just want to take a picture of the castle before we, ah, lose track of time and it falls apart," he admits a little shyly. "I mean, we worked so hard on it."</p><p>Kurt clears his throat and blushes. "Yeah. Yes, of course. Sorry. Go for it."</p><p>Sebastian brushes his hands together, trying to get most of the sand off before he reaches into the bag for his phone. He takes a few snaps, getting up on his feet to walk around it to get all angles, then types a few words and hits send.</p><p>"Julian?" Kurt asks fondly.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "Family group chat."</p><p>"You guys have a group chat?" Kurt asks.</p><p>"Oh, yeah. Just for stuff like this. Or when my mom wants to plan her dinners and needs to know who'll attend. My dad mostly uses it to send us dad jokes." The phone in Sebastian's hands buzzes. He looks down at it and rolls his eyes. "Okay, Julian, of course," he starts, and reads out:</p><p>
  <strong>JULIAN: THAT is what you are doing at the house? Didn't you get my present?!</strong>
</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "Tell him-" he starts, but Sebastian puts up a finger to silence him.</p><p>"Liv's typing something. Ok, here it comes:</p><p><strong>OLIVIA: Am here with mom. We say HEIGHT: 7,DESIGN: 9, ORIGINALITY: 8, EXECUTION: 5,5.</strong>"</p><p>Sebastian frowns and quickly starts typing. "<em>Five point five?</em> I'm telling them you helped and that it was all your fault because you never built one before."</p><p>Kurt lets out an insulted little huff. "I did everything you told me!" He draws himself up to his full height and straightens his shoulders. "Add me to the group," he demands, pointing a finger at Sebastian. "I'm getting my phone and I'll tell them-"</p><p>"I can't, babe." Sebastian cut him off. "Love to, but can't. The Smythe family group chat is like, sacrosanct. You're not a Smythe. Not even Brian was added until the engagement party. So, um, unless you want me to put a ring on it…?" He smirks, and his eyes glitter.</p><p>Kurt is completely taken aback by Sebastian's words. A few weeks ago, every particle of his being would have shouted "NO!!!" and maybe even have threatened to call the pick-up service of a mental institution for him. But now?</p><p>Kurt has always wanted to get married. In Kindergarten he was even okay with play-marrying one of the girls if it meant they could play dress up and he got to plan everything. Every time he'd formed a new crush on someone, he'd fantasized about what their wedding day would be like; when he and Blaine finally got together he actually started planning it in his head, right down to what they would wear, who would be on the guest list and what their first dance would be.</p><p>He'd spent many secret evenings googling different suit cuts, trying to work out what would bring out Blaine's best features; show off his chest and his round, perky ass. Kurt had even gone so far as to enter an ebay auction for a hand-dyed silk bowtie, a perfect honey color that brought out the flecks of gold in his dreamy hazel eyes. The ceremony would be on the Dalton Academy staircase, with all Warblers attending, there'd be actual songbirds and a song by Pavarotti would play. Every little detail would remind everyone present of their romantic history.</p><p>What was he supposed to plan for a wedding to Sebastian? The suits wouldn't be a problem; he could put Sebastian in any Armani or Boss and he'd look like James Bond. But the rest? They couldn't exactly get married at the Lima Bean, let it rain glitter and serve bodyshots at the reception. Would they have to pay each guest $10,000 to attend?</p><p>The moment for laughing it off or countering with a joke had come and long passed. Kurt looks at Sebastian, feeling slightly panicked and at a loss for words. Sebastian too, looks very contrite.</p><p>"It was just a joke, Kurt," he says softly.</p><p>Kurt nods, banishing his thoughts and trying not to overthink the fact that while losing his plans with Blaine still hurts, the idea of actually being married to Sebastian doesn't even scare him. It's just the finer details they'd have to work out. He doesn't dare tell Sebastian yet, though, because who does that, plan a wedding to someone they have only just gotten together with? It would probably send Sebastian running for the hills.</p><p>"I'm getting a little peckish," he says instead.</p><p>"Ah yes, your body clock," Sebastian says, visibly relieved at the out. He is clearly just as eager to brush over the awkward moment.</p><p>"You wanna head back up to the house? Or I could run and grab some stuff, there's a few pre-made salads in the fridge."</p><p>Kurt contemplates it for a moment, about heading up to the house and showering away the sun and sand of the day; but it's barely two o'clock, the day is far from over and he's not quite done ogling his half-naked boyfriend yet.</p><p>"Salad sounds like a great idea, you want some help?" he replies.</p><p>"Nah, it's cool," Sebastian smiles. "You stay and relax, I won't be long."</p><p>He bends to pick up the cooler bag and turns his face towards Kurt's in the process, pecking him on the lips. Kurt hums happily and holds the contact for a moment, warmth spreading down his chest that has nothing to do with the sun.</p><p>He lets Sebastian pull away and watches as his boyfriend heads back up to the house before sliding his shades firmly into place and laying down on his towel to soak in the sun.</p><p>Sebastian comes back a while later with their lunch and they sit and eat in companionable silence for a while. Kurt looks out to sea, still not over the majestic view.</p><p>Suddenly he yells in surprise and stands up.</p><p>"What?" Sebastian asks, discarding his almost finished salad and standing up too.</p><p>"Look!" Kurt yells, pointing out into the distance. Sebastian follows the direction of Kurt's finger and sees the movement in the water.</p><p>"Oh," he says, shrugging a little. "Yeah, there is an old shipwreck down there and the dolphins like to play. I guess it's a good spot for fishing too."</p><p>"But, they're <em>dolphins," </em>Kurt says reverently, "I've never seen one that wasn't on TV before."</p><p>Sebastian smiles and steps closer to him, wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "When my parents get here, I'll get my dad to take us out on the boat, then you can see them up close - they really love playing in the slip stream."</p><p>Kurt leans into the touch a little and lets out a soft sigh. "I'd like that." He tears his eyes away from the dolphins and turns his head sideways to look at Sebastian. The tenderness in Sebastian's eyes nearly takes his breath away. He slowly leans forward and presses their lips together, holding the contact for a moment before Sebastian is kissing him back, softly at first, but growing in intensity.</p><p>His free hand slides up to cradle the back of Kurt's head, twining his fingers in his hair, and Kurt turns in Sebastian's arms to fully face him, the dolphins forgotten for now. He runs his hands down his boyfriend's sides to clutch at his waist, sand crumbling under his fingers. Their lips slide together with practised ease and Kurt senses that hidden power inside Sebastian that he felt all those weeks ago at the country club, lurking under the surface just waiting to be released. He steps closer into Sebastian's arms and moves his hand back up to wrap around the back of his neck, changing the angle of his head slightly and nipping at Sebastian's bottom lip.</p><p>Sebastian moans and pulls Kurt tighter, licking his way into Kurt's mouth and tightening his grip in his hair, wrangling a corresponding moan from Kurt's throat. His hips jerk forward eagerly. The sensation is enough to make Sebastian jolt and he sucks in a breath, breaking the kiss and moving away slightly, but still holding Kurt close, their foreheads pressed together. "Wait," he gasps, clearly trying to catch his breath.</p><p>Kurt whimpers and closes his eyes tightly, fighting the voice in his head that is screaming ‘to hell with waiting'. The tightness of his trunks does nothing to hide his eagerness and from the closeness of their bodies he can tell that he is not the only one.</p><p>"Sorry," Sebastian says quietly. "I just...maybe now is not the time."</p><p>Kurt bites his lip and lets out a shaky breath. "I know," he says honestly. "You're right. I'm sorry, I just...<em>really</em> like kissing you."</p><p>Sebastian presses another soft kiss to Kurt's lips. "I really like kissing you too, and I can't wait to do more with you, but-"</p><p>"-but you want to do it right, and...I do too," Kurt says, smoothing his hands down Sebastian's sides. "I agree that getting down and dirty in the sand is not exactly romantic."</p><p>Sebastian laughs and steps away slightly. Kurt lets him go. "Nope, nothing romantic about a sandy ass."</p><p>Kurt laughs loudly and then they're both laughing, shoving each other lightly and giving in to the ridiculousness of the idea.</p><p>"So," Kurt says after they have exhausted all puns and dirty jokes they can think of, "now that the mood has effectively been killed, what do you want to do for the rest of the afternoon?"</p><p>"Well, we have some badminton rackets in the shed, and I think there's a<em> jeu de boules</em> set - there's a cricket set too - but that's better when you have more people…"</p><p>"Badminton sounds good," Kurt says with a smile, more images of the Smythes spending hours down in the sand playing games and making memories as a family filling his mind.</p><p>"Alright then," Sebastian says with a nod, "I'll get the stuff."</p><p>"You don't have to do everything, you know," Kurts reminds him. "I <em>can</em> help."</p><p>Sebastian smirks at him and shrugs his shoulders. "Come on then."</p><p>They get the sports equipment from the shed and spend the next few hours playing on the beach, alternating between the different games and dipping into the sea to cool off. By the end of the day, as the sun starts to make its slow descent towards the horizon, Kurt can safely say he's had one of the best days of his life.</p><p>Around six-ish the tide starts slowly making its way in and they make the decision to head back up to the house. Together they pack away the sporting equipment and sandcastle tools into the shed and gather up the rest of their stuff. Sebastian insists on carrying the cooler himself, despite Kurt's protests.</p><p>"I'm not doing it because you <em>can't,</em>" he says, pressing a chaste kiss to Kurt's lips. "I just <em>want </em>to do it."</p><p>Mollified, Kurt returns the soft press of lips. "Fine, but I'm carrying the towels."</p><p>"Deal."</p><p>Kurt throws the towels over his shoulder and takes Sebastian's hand, starting to walk up the beach.</p><p>"Wait!" Sebastian exclaims, pulling him back. Kurt turns inquisitively.</p><p>"We almost forgot the best part!" Sebastian drops Kurt's hand and starts back.</p><p>Kurt cocks his head. He's pretty sure they have packed everything.</p><p>"The castle!" Sebastian says, turning back to urge Kurt on with a jerk of his head. "At the end of the day, you have to stomp them to the ground!"</p><p>"Wh-"</p><p>"It's the <em>best </em>part!" Sebastian repeats excitedly. "Will you do the honors, or shall I?"</p><p>Kurt laughs. "You really<em> are</em> five, aren't you?"</p><p>They look at each other, and Kurt has never felt more <em>there</em> than at this moment.</p><p>"Together?"</p><p>*****</p><p>"Do you mind if I shower before we figure out dinner?" Kurt asks when they get back onto the terrace a little while later. He has to admit to himself that destroying the castle had been a lot of fun; they'd jumped up and down and kicked and stomped that thing until it was almost flat, and the enthusiastic kiss Sebastian had given him afterwards, bubbling with joy and gratitude for indulging in his childhood games, had been worth <em>everything</em>. But right now, he really wants to get clean.</p><p>"Sure, you can use the main bathroom again if you want? I'll take the other one."</p><p>Kurt smiles at him gratefully and goes to the bedroom to get his products and a change of clothes.</p><p>He strips out of his trunks in the bathroom and wrinkles his nose at the sand that spills onto the floor. <em>Great,</em> he thinks, <em>it's going to be everywhere!</em> He puts them in the sink to rinse out later, and carefully feels his hair. He winces. It feels stiff and brittle, encrusted with salt and sand. Time for some TLC.</p><p>He puts out his shampoo, conditioner, and his favourite shower foam that puffs up in his hands like shaving cream after squirting it out of the bottle in fragrant heaps of figs and rosemary. He hums to himself as he runs the shower to let it warm up, and reaches under the sink for a towel. His eyes are inevitably drawn to Julian's supplies, and he feels his cheeks heat up.</p><p>He really, really wants it. He meant what he said to Sebastian earlier about wanting to do it right, but it has been <em>over two months </em>since he's had sex, which may not be a very long time on a calendar, but it is a very long time when you're eightteen and in the almost daily presence of an incredibly attractive person, who up until a few days ago even had the extra temptation of the forbidden, and now the lure of the available.</p><p>Kurt wants to feel that beautiful strong body pressed against his, wants his long, long legs wrapped around him. He wants Sebastian inside of him and to be inside him, to know all the intimate, slick and wet places, the soft and hard. He runs a hand under the water to check the temperature, his other hand on the part of his body that has sprung to attention at the thought of making love to Sebastian. The water is just right and he steps under the spray, trying to decide which of his fantasies- and he has many, the advantage of being versatile- to choose from to relax a little.</p><p>Then, he screams.</p><p>Every inch of his back is on fire, and he jumps forward, contorting his body away from the water. He curses himself as he realizes what is going on. He had forgotten to apply sunscreen before they went out, and after his swim and sitting hunched over a sandcastle in the midday sun and playing games the rest of the day, he now has sunburn from his calves up his hips, back, shoulders and neck, hell- even the back of his ears. Damn those distracting red swim shorts, making Kurt forget everything! He has never forgotten his skincare. <em>Never.</em></p><p>"Kurt! What's wrong?!" Sebastian yells urgently, bursting through the door. Then he sees, and winces sympathetically. "Shit…"</p><p>"GO AWAY!" Kurt yells in his humiliation and pain, wrapping the curtain around himself.</p><p>Sebastian's face falls and he frowns a little, hesitating. Despite the situation, Kurt notices and he deflates.</p><p>"Please just leave me alone for a bit, Sebastian," Kurt modifies weakly, turning away from his eyes, feeling sore and even more humiliated at his outburst.</p><p>Sebastian nods and quietly backs out of the steam-filled bathroom.</p><p>Near to tears, Kurt turns the water as cold as he can handle, and quickly rinses his body. He washes his hair and lets the conditioner sit as long as he can bear, and then rinses it out and turns the water off. He pats down his front with a towel. He'll need to let the rest air-dry, because he's not rubbing his back with a towel now, fluffy or not. He doesn't come out until he's dry and dressed and feeling a little more composed.</p><p>Sebastian is in the kitchen, sitting on a bar stool at the marble island, looking a bit forlorn. He has changed too and his hair is still wet from his shower. No sunburn in sight. Kurt scowls a little, jealously imagining Sebastian enjoying his shower instead of feeling like he was plunged into the fiery pits of hell.</p><p>Sebastian looks up when Kurt approaches and must have seen the expression on Kurt's face because he immediately looks apologetic. "Are you okay?" he asks carefully.</p><p>Kurt nods, relaxing his face a little. It's not Sebastian's fault he got sloppy protecting one of his most prized possessions. "Yeah. Sorry for screeching."</p><p>"No, no, don't be," Sebastian says immediately. "I'm sorry for barging in on you like that. I was just worried you'd seen a snake or something-"</p><p>"There are <em>snakes</em> here?" Kurt asks sharply, his sunburn momentarily forgotten.</p><p>"No idea," Sebastian replies. Not very reassuring. Kurt tries to distract himself.</p><p>"Did <em>you</em> put sunscreen on?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "A little, on my shoulders. I've already had a lot of sun this summer." He blinks and looks at Kurt, as if he's just realizing something.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't think to ask if you needed any, I just, I forgot-" He raises his hands helplessly, looks at them as if he's surprised to see them, and quickly traps them between his thighs. "Do you want me to put some after-sun lotion on?"</p><p>"<em>No</em>," Kurt says a little waspishly. He shouldn't need Sebastian to remind him about proper skin care, he is old enough to take care of himself. His irritation returning, he can't help from adding: "I already put some on. I'm a big boy, you don't need to babysit me."</p><p>"Okay." Sebastian nods, and it looks like he is storing that information for later. "Sorry."</p><p>Kurt immediately regrets it. He had expected a repartee, not an apology. It's confusing, and right now Kurt just wants to focus on feeling sorry for himself and being angry at his own carelessness. Sebastian showing genuine concern is just enough to tip him over the edge. This is not how they've dealt with each other before now.</p><p>It's still so unusual not to have to keep him at an arm's length for his own protection, to let himself be cared for. Caring was what he did with<em> Blaine</em>. They'd always been so good at anticipating each other's needs and moods. From the very beginning, they'd had a connection, where it often felt like they could read each other's mind; (at least Kurt thought they did, until that Wednesday in May when Blaine took him completely by surprise and turned his world upside down).</p><p>At the start of summer, Kurt had tried to accept that he'd never have that again, because no one in the world knew him like Blaine did, and the possibility of anyone ever getting to know him as well was unimaginable.</p><p><em>Sebastian's</em> caring has always felt like part of the act; they always had an audience of sorts...<em>except on the Fourth of July, </em>a little voice whispers in his ear. His caring then had been private - away from the curious eyes of their families, Sebastian had offered him a reprieve. <em>After the pool party too,</em> the voice continues. <em>He took you inside to get you warm and then, in the middle of the night, helped you through your hangover. He cares for you, simply because he </em>does.</p><p>The reality of that hits Kurt hard, and although he is still angry at himself, he decides to offer an olive branch to show that he really isn't mad at his boyfriend. "I'll be fine," he adds. "I'll just need to wear a t-shirt for a few days."</p><p>Sebastian nods and forces a smile. "So what would you like to eat? There's plenty of bread left, but there are some microwave dinners in the freezer, or we could order in?"</p><p>"A microwave dinner sounds good," Kurt says. It can't be worse than McKinley's cafeteria (especially as the Smythes wouldn't just stock up <em>any</em> frozen meal) and he isn't ready for dealing with other people yet- not even a delivery person. The less people know about his skincare faux-pas, the better. Apart from that, he also just wants it to be them for now, just him and Sebastian. No intruders, and no audience, so he can finally discover which parts of their act were performative and which weren't.</p><p>*****</p><p>They sit out on the main terrace to eat, sharing a bottle of white wine with it. As Kurt has expected, the food is more than edible, and with every passing minute, his anger and confusion settle down more, like sand kicked up in the sea eventually sinks to the bottom again when the water is no longer stirred. He recalls the rest of their day, and knows it's a shame to let a sunburnt back ruin it. By time Sebastian pulls a tub of ice cream out of the freezer for dessert, his bad mood has passed and he is back in the present.</p><p>They watch as the sky slowly turns from a bright, pale blue to a multitude of pinks, purples and oranges, reflected in the ocean below. Kurt wishes he could put all of it in a frame; the light, the soft, warm air, the taste of good food and drink, and not the least, the tranquility, which almost makes time stand still. Already, he is collecting a photo album in his mind, and labels it ‘Kurt and Sebastian's first trip', hopeful there will be more.</p><p>After dinner, they move to the private balcony in their room and settle down next to each other on the swing with a cup of coffee to spend some time doing their own things; Sebastian reading a book that he brought with him, and Kurt sending a few texts back and forth with his dad and Carole. He writes nothing about the sunburn, but instead gushes about driving the Mustang and the luxuries of the beach house, reading some of Carole's more hilarious autocorrect mistakes out to Sebastian, who in turn reads him some of his favorite passages from his book.</p><p>The last few rays of sunlight are clutching the horizon, and when it gets too dark to read, Sebastian puts his book down and slides an arm around Kurt. He puts his phone away and rests his head against Sebastian's chest, the soft thrum of his boyfriend's heart soothing him. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, letting go of the last of his worries.</p><p>"Bas?" he says softly.</p><p>"Mmm?"</p><p>"On the 25th, after the wedding…"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I...I don't want the money."</p><p>It's out. He has made his decision, and it's such a load off his chest it feels like he's a new person. He doesn't even remember what it felt like <em>not</em> feeling this constant pressure of guilt, and it is glorious to be free of it.</p><p>Sebastian is quiet for a long time, and Kurt almost wonders if maybe he hasn't heard him.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Sebastian finally asks, his voice a little rough.</p><p>Kurt sits up and turns in Sebastian's arms to look at him. "I am," he says. "I don't need a paycheck for this. I am here because I want to be."</p><p>Sebastian doesn't question it, and Kurt is a little relieved. Instead, he leans forward and kisses Kurt's lips, softly, with reverence, and whispers: "So am I."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Playlist:<br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvCBSSwgtg4">"Ho Hey - The Lumineers"</a><br/>There were lots of songs that came out summer of 2012 that would have been playing on the radio, but this is one we listened to a lot when working on these early chapters.</p><p>-<br/>Please remember to take regular breaks when reading, eat, sleep and stay hydrated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Chocoholicannanymous; you were one of the first to know about our plans and supported us all the way. You let us whine and complain and helped us keep our cool in the face of anon negativity, sock puppet accounts and plain, out-in-the-open hostility. Thank you for your patience and your Tumblr-mom-vibes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An obnoxiously loud noise tears through the beach house in the morning startling Kurt awake, and the first thing that he notices as he shifts on the mattress is <em>pain</em>. Sometime during the night, he had woken up and found that the after-sun lotion had stopped working and he could no longer lie on his back; even the feel of his t-shirt on his skin had become unbearable, so he had taken it off and settled for sleeping topless on his stomach. His whole body still aches, throbbing hotly from the inside, and now he has a crick in his neck to add to that.</p><p>The <em>heat</em> radiating from his back is torture. He throws off the sheet and moans as a cool breeze kisses his inflamed skin - Sebastian must have opened the French Doors to let the air circulate.</p><p>The second thing that flashes through his mind is the <em>dream</em> he'd been having. It had been very strange, something with crabs hunting <em>him</em> for dinner (Kurt isn't sure if that was entirely because of their conversation the day before, or if his mind slotted crabs into the space of lobsters, which he definitely currently resembles), and despite it having been quite scary, he does see the comical side of it too, and longs to share it with Sebastian. He pushes himself up a little and turns his head to look at him, but finds the bed empty. He frowns, the absence of his boyfriend more disorientating than being chased by crustaceans, and stretches an arm into the space as if doing so would summon Sebastian back.</p><p>Still groggy with sleep, pain and disorientation, Kurt feels a lot less serene this morning than he did the day before. Also, who knew that after just one night he would miss waking up with Sebastian? He rubs his eyes and slowly sits up, wincing in pain as his skin tightens in protest. (He just hopes he doesn't peel too much, because that is so gross and undignified; he still can't believe how <em>stupid</em> he was forgetting his sunscreen).</p><p>The noise that woke him echoes through the house again and then ceases, and recognition comes once the strong scent of coffee fills his nostrils (this, at least, explains Sebastian's absence).</p><p>A few moments later, the door opens and Sebastian walks into the room. He's already dressed, and is carrying a wooden tray bearing two cups in his hands. His hair is looking unfairly good considering that he probably only ran a hand through it since getting up, but instead of feeling annoyed or jealous about that, a tiny voice inside of Kurt goes: <em>good, I like this look on my man.</em> Then he blinks, and chides himself that it is really too early for thoughts like that. Instead, he picks up the sheet and pulls it back over himself.</p><p>"Morning," Sebastian says quietly, setting the tray down on the bedside table. "Sorry if I woke you up. I always forget how loud that damn coffee machine is."</p><p>Kurt tucks the sheet under his arms and stretches out his legs. "Good morning," he replies, resisting running a hand through his own hair because he knows it will <em>not</em> look good. "I'm glad you did. I really didn't look forward to being boiled alive."</p><p>"Huh?" Sebastian's eyes go from the bed with its thin cotton sheets to the open doors, as if wondering how a room with a breeze could get hot enough to boil someone.</p><p>Kurt chuckles and shakes his head. "Just a dream...with too many pincers."</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "<em>Pincers</em>? Is this a kink I need to be informed about? What about tentacles?" He brings his hands up under his chin and wriggles his fingers.</p><p>"Oh, god, Sebastian…" Kurt shakes his head. "Not <em>everything </em>is about sex."</p><p>"It <em>can</em> be, if you wanted it to," Sebastian argues. "Gotta put in some effort, babe."</p><p>Kurt sighs and decides not to argue the point, but he does make a mental note to keep an eye on his new habit of letting things slide with Sebastian. He doesn't want him to become too complacent; he has to think of his dad, and what Burt would say if Kurt allows Sebastian to turn anything into innuendo? It would make for some very awkward family dinners.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" Sebastian asks, carefully sitting down on the side of the bed next to Kurt. His eyes briefly rove over the red mess that is Kurt's shoulders and arms before coming up to his face again.</p><p>"Sore," Kurt says honestly, pulling the sheet a little higher over himself. "And completely humiliated at my stupidity."</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head a little. "You just forgot, it happens. I burned the soles of my feet here once as a kid."</p><p>Kurt winces, wiggling his toes under the sheet in sympathy. That sounds like one of the worst places to have sunburn.</p><p>"Yeah, it really wasn't fun. I fell asleep on the beach and my parents covered me up and put sunscreen on, but it didn't occur to either of them to put it on the bottom of my feet because I was lying on my back at the time. So, I rolled over in my sleep and woke up with scorched soles...dad had to carry me back up to the house because I couldn't walk."</p><p>"That sounds awful," Kurt says. He remembers what his feet felt like after he had squeezed them into his faux-Alexander McQueen platforms for <em>Bad Romance</em> - that might not have been sunburn, but not being able to walk is definitely no fun.</p><p>Sebastian humms in agreement. "It was, though it had its upsides. Apparently, it looked so bad even Julian felt sorry for me, and I got him to bring me food and drinks by my bed for days."</p><p>Kurt snorts. His eyes fall on the coffee by his bedside. "Thank you for this-" he offers, gesturing at the coffees, "and for opening the doors, the breeze really helped."</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "Wanna go sit out there with our coffees? It isn't too sunny yet," he deflects, and Kurt wonders why being thanked for caring makes him feel awkward.</p><p><em>Oh.</em> Fuck. In a flash of clarity, Kurt remembers telling him off for doing exactly that the evening before. <em>I have taught him that I don't want his help, so he's trying to pretend not to. </em></p><p>"Yes," he says quickly, feeling contrite. "A bit of sunburn won't keep me from this view." He hopes Sebastian might take the opening to make another joke, but he doesn't. He stands up, making room for Kurt to get out of bed.</p><p>Kurt releases the sheet and gingerly eases himself off the mattress. He can see Sebastian shift his weight from foot to foot, half holding his hand out before pulling it back. Kurt's heart sinks a little and he turns his back on Sebastian to school his face under the guise of pushing his feet into the slippers by his bed.</p><p>"Jesus, Kurt," Sebastian curses softly, and Kurt flinches.</p><p>"That bad?" he asks in a small voice, not daring to turn around and face him.</p><p>Sebastian pauses, and Kurt fills in the pause in his head with visions of permanent disfigurement. He may have to emigrate and go live in a bell tower somewhere.</p><p>"No," Sebastian says finally, "It just...looks painful. No wonder you couldn't sleep."</p><p>"You noticed that?" Kurt peeps.</p><p>"It was kind of hard not to," Sebastian admits. "You were tossing and turning and sighing a lot."</p><p>"I didn't know you were awake," Kurt says. "You didn't say anything." He turns to look at Sebastian over his shoulder.</p><p>He shrugs awkwardly and looks away, pushing his hands into the pockets of his shorts. "I wasn't sure you wanted me to notice. I thought it might be better to give you some privacy."</p><p>Kurt considers it- maybe Sebastian is right. Knowing he was keeping <em>both</em> of them awake would probably have made him feel worse. He nods wordlessly, takes a deep breath, and turns around. At least his chest isn't too badly burned, that's something, right? He offers Sebastian a brave smile.</p><p>Sebastian bites his lip and frowns a little, hesitating. "When I burned my feet," he finally starts, "my mom put this plant stuff on it and it really worked. I think we have some out front, the spikey leaves."</p><p>"You have Aloe Vera?" Kurt asks. Sebastian confirms it with a nod. Kurt brightens. He has never used the actual plant, but his magazines say it's some kind of miraculous cure. "Do you think she'd mind if I used it?"</p><p>"Of course not," Sebastian says quickly. "Shall I get you some?" He looks hopeful, pleased that he has finally found something Kurt might let him help with.</p><p>Feeling even more contrite about the way he reacted yesterday, Kurt nods. "Please," he says.</p><p>Sebastian smiles, relief washing over his face. "I'll be right back."</p><p>Kurt watches him dash from the room and feels warmth blossom in his chest. He picks up their coffees and makes his way out onto the balcony, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as the cool sea breeze washes over him. He sets the coffees down on the table and moves to stand by the fence, looking out over the beach.</p><p>A little while later, he hears Sebastian step out behind him and turns around. He is holding a bowl that Kurt can see contains a spoon, a knife and a long spiky Aloe Vera leaf. It looks a little ferocious, and Kurt can't help but eye it sceptically. Somehow, the pictures on his skincare products usually make it look harmless; or at least far less aggressive. This looks more like a cactus than a <em>leaf.</em></p><p>Sebastian puts the bowl on the table next to their coffees. He notices Kurt's expression. "I think I remember how she did it. I can help if...if you want?" he asks carefully- <em>so</em> carefully that Kurt feels a little queasy with guilt.</p><p>"I do," Kurt replies quietly. To hopefully lighten the mood, he offers Sebastian a bashful smile and adds: "I may need a bit of babysitting after all."</p><p>Sebastian frowns. "That was <em>your</em> word for it. I know you can take care of yourself. I just wanted to help you."</p><p>Kurt winces. Not exactly the effect he was going for. Sebastian sounds genuinely hurt.</p><p>"I know," he says. "I shouldn't have said that. I felt embarrassed because I should have known better than to forget, especially with <em>my</em> skin, and I guess I am just-"</p><p>He pauses, trying to formulate an excuse that doesn't give away his thoughts from the previous night, because it's been established now that Sebastian does in fact care, <em>a lot.</em></p><p>"I guess I am just an asshole sometimes," Kurt says instead. It makes Sebastian grin.</p><p>"I'm not gonna argue that," he agrees. "That's probably why I like you."</p><p>Kurt's heart flutters and he offers Sebastian an honest, warm smile, which Sebastian returns.</p><p>"Come on," he says, jerking his head in offering. "Sit down and we'll goop you up."</p><p>"Goop?" Kurt's voice rises a little in pitch, but he is too relieved that Sebastian is smiling again to argue too much, and sits down straddling the chair so his back faces Sebastian. Then, unable to stop himself, he looks over his shoulder to watch.</p><p>Sebastian takes hold of the knife and slices the stalk in half, pulling it apart. Inside, the flesh of the plant glistens. When he starts peeling off the green and scoops out the translucent gel inside, Kurt can see why he would use the word ‘goop' - the gel inside the leaf reminds him of the slime they used to play with as kids (though he keeps that reference to himself, because the slimy threads squishing from between Sebastian's fingers also look a bit like <em>something else</em> and he isn't sure he can go through such jokes when it's about to go on his skin, besides, it's probably best not to draw Sebastian's attention away from what he is doing). So, he keeps quiet and watches as Sebastian drops the gel into the bowl and stirs it until it forms a paste.</p><p>"Okay," Sebastian says, scooping some back into his hand. "Here we go. Pretend you just won a Kids' Choice award."</p><p>Kurt snorts.</p><p>"Tell me if it's too much, okay?" Sebastian adds, a little more serious now, and Kurt nods and closes his eyes, bracing himself. He can hear Sebastian take a deep breath, and then, ever so lightly, he starts covering Kurt's back with the cool paste.</p><p>"Oh," Kurt says quietly and Sebastian stops immediately.</p><p>"Am I hurting you?"</p><p>"No," Kurt sighs. "It feels amazing. It's so cold."</p><p>"Ah. Yes, I know," Sebastian says as he continues to smooth it over Kurt's shoulders, careful not to rub too much. He moves his hands down Kurt's back to get at the skin lower down, and Kurt sighs blissfully, pillowing his head with his arms in front of him.</p><p>"Maybe you should stay out of the sun for a while," Sebastian suggests gently, finishing up. "Or at least lay off sunbathing for today." He wipes his hands on his shorts and reaches for the coffee. Kurt catches the movement and gasps.</p><p>"What the hell are you doing?" he asks aghast.</p><p>Sebastian looks down at his shorts and shrugs. "They'll wash, and besides, they're old." He hands Kurt his coffee.</p><p>"You're such a <em>boy,</em>" Kurt says, shaking his head. He takes a sip of his coffee, which is just the way he likes it (again).</p><p>Sebastian smirks at him and moves to sit on the swing. "I thought you liked boys?"</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. "I like them better when they show proper appreciation for clothes!" he says to keep up appearances, though he can't fight the smile that wants to form on his lips for too long - he just can't stay serious when Sebastian looks at him like that. He sighs and relents, turning his chair around so that he can face Sebastian properly but still expose his back to the air.</p><p>"You're probably right about the sunbathing," he admits. The ocean breeze cools the gel on his back even further as it dries on his skin. The pain is slowly numbing, but it'll probably take a few days for the skin to fully regenerate.</p><p>"If you wanted, we could walk up to town," Sebastian suggests instead. "We could track over the beach almost all the way there, it wouldn't even be a detour." He swirls the coffee in his cup before draining the last drops. "We could find somewhere for lunch...and there's the grocery store that does our deliveries. We could bring a backpack and buy some fresh bread or pastries or something on the way home. Oh, and marshmallows! We definitely need marshmallows."</p><p>Kurt smirks, hiding his smile behind his cup. For all his effort of making this sound like an impromptu plan, he suspects Sebastian has actually given it a lot of thought. It reminds him a little of their first date, which he had also tried to pass off as a spur-of-the-moment idea until his reservation gave the game away. He decides not to tease him with it. "We need marshmallows? What for?"</p><p>"To <em>toast,</em> Kurt," Sebastian says slowly as if he were speaking to a child. "It's tradition."</p><p>"Oh," Kurt replies, because of course it is. He's beginning to find out just how much a creature of habit Sebastian is, at least when it comes to the way he spends his holidays.</p><p>"Over the fireplace inside?" he asks, not because he's super-interested in the method of roasting marshmallows, but because he just wants to hear more about the Smythes. Sebastian does not disappoint.</p><p>"In winter, sometimes. But usually dad lights a fire on the beach. We roast marshmallows and sausages...mom and Liv normally start us on a round of singing."</p><p>Kurt can hear the eye-roll in Sebastian's voice, and a laugh bubbles up inside of his chest. <em>Sure, Sebastian, singing is so cringey, isn't it?</em></p><p>"Don't lie, Bas. It's secretly <em>you,</em> isn't it? <em>You</em> get them all to sing," he teases.</p><p>Sebastian pokes him in the side and Kurt yelps indignantly. "Hey, watch it! Sunburn!" He shifts in his chair.</p><p>"Shit, sorry!" Sebastian says quickly, pulling back his hand and flushing a little. "But, I so do <em>not</em>."</p><p>Kurt gives him a pointed look. "Uh huh...says the former captain of the Warblers."</p><p>"I-" Sebastian falters, then narrows his eyes to glare at him. "Fine, you caught me. I like singing by the fire. I'm a big clichée, there." He shrugs. "It's just nice, you know?"</p><p>Kurt smiles because it <em>sounds</em> nice. "From one clichée to the other? Yes, I know. I love a good singsong. Can your family sing?"</p><p>"Mom can, she's got a beautiful voice. It's where I get it from, I guess. Dad isn't <em>bad </em>and neither is Julian, but Liv can't carry a tune to save her life. Not that that ever stops her. I'm sure when they get here and find out we got marshmallows, they'll <em>definitely </em>want to do it."</p><p>"Then we <em>definitely</em> have to get marshmallows...and do a practise round so I can prepare," Kurt says, already looking forward to it. He puts his empty cup down on the table and rolls his shoulders back.</p><p>"Do you want another?" Sebastian asks. Kurt's stomach rumbles in response and Sebastian laughs fondly. "Or some breakfast maybe?"</p><p>Kurt grins. "Breakfast I think, but I would like to put on a shirt first."</p><p>Sebastian nods and collects up their empty cups. "You do that and I'll get some food together."</p><p>Kurt rises to his feet to help him, putting the bowl with the knife and the leftover Aloe on the tray. "My back feels a lot better," he offers. "Thank you."</p><p>"Sure thing," Sebastian says casually and picks up the tray. Kurt puts a hand on his arm to stop him from leaving.</p><p>"I mean it. I really am sorry for last night."</p><p>"I know," Sebastian says. "It's okay."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yeah. Go on," Sebastian assures him, and feeling much better than before (from more than just the Aloe Vera), Kurt goes back inside.</p><p>*****</p><p>He spends some time in the bathroom examining his back. It is still looking red, but the pain has greatly subsided, and it no longer feels as tight. He makes a mental note to look into getting one of those plants for himself - not that he plans to get sunburned ever again, but it's better to be safe than sorry, right?</p><p>He relieves himself and washes his hands before spending a few minutes brushing his teeth and working some moisturiser into his face, neck and chest. The sunburn isn't looking as bad there anymore today, and he imagines he's even starting to look a little tan towards his hairline.</p><p>By the time he's pulled a t-shirt on and headed out into the kitchen, Sebastian has started putting together their breakfast. There is an assortment of jams and marmalades on the table along with a butter dish. The coffee machine is once again whirring and grinding, and the scent of brewing coffee has filled the kitchen. Sebastian is taking a set of plates from the cupboard.</p><p>"Can I do anything?" Kurt asks.</p><p>Sebastian turns to smile at him. "Could you slice up some bread and pop it in the toaster, please? I tried but it didn't turn out very well."</p><p>Kurt looks at the loaf set out on a breadboard and has to hold back a laugh at the angle cut into the bread and the botched slice resting next to it on the side. "You're really not good with food, are you?" he says fondly, reaching for the loaf and knife.</p><p>"I'm good at <em>eating</em> it." Sebastian pouts a little and sets the plates down on the table with a petulant <em>clunk.</em> "My mom would let me help with the cooking sometimes when I was a kid, but whenever Julian was home from school he'd pull me away to do something else, and then as I got older I kinda lost interest."</p><p>Kurt feels a pang of homesickness for his own childhood. "My mom let me help, too. I used to love it. She'd put music on and we'd sing and dance around the kitchen…" He pauses, his hand with the knife hovering over the bread. "When she died, my dad tried to take over every single thing she did, but he'd never done a day of cooking in his life. It was...a process."</p><p>He offers Sebastian a lopsided smile; too many hilariously undercooked or charred dishes pass his mind's eye to tell every story, but just as many successes: his father's elation as he managed to flip his first pancake in the pan, the first time he made an edible risotto. The first time Kurt cooked one of his mom's recipes by himself and his dad told him it tasted just like how she used to make it. He feels his eyes well up a little and he quickly turns back to the kitchen counter and begins slicing the bread.</p><p>Sebastian has fallen quiet, and over the soft jingling of him rearranging the cutlery, Kurt recognizes the sound of a particular silence; one he has heard many times after mentioning his mom to people. It leaves them at a loss for words and generally just makes everyone uncomfortable. Sometimes, in Glee club or at home during arguments with Finn, he'd use that as a weapon to shut people up, but most of the time it happens without intending to, and it just makes everyone feel awkward.</p><p>Kurt wracks his brain for something to change the subject. Something neutral they can talk about without uprooting any painful memories or making Sebastian feel sorry for him.</p><p>"Did you ever have any pets?" he blurts out.</p><p>"<em>What?"</em> Sebastian says, turning to look at him. He looks genuinely puzzled.</p><p>"Like...a dog?" Kurt continues, "a cat…a rabbit...a bird...fish?" He trails off as he watches Sebastian's expression go from neutral to vaguely disgusted the more animals he tries. <em>Maybe not then. </em></p><p>He adds the slices of bread to the toaster and switches it on.</p><p>"My dad is allergic to just about everything," Sebastian explains. "Liv had a horse, but we couldn't have any animals in the house." He shrugs. "I guess it wouldn't really have been fair to the animals either, with all of us away at boarding schools or abroad."</p><p>"Oh, right. I'm sorry," Kurt offers.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "Don't be. I never really wanted one anyway, not beyond those momentary flashes of wanting a pet after seeing an animal movie or something. As soon as my mom or dad would ask me if I was going to feed it, walk it, clean up after it and all that, my enthusiasm was gone with the wind."</p><p>Kurt smirks. It kind of fits, but he can still see Sebastian with a dog. It's a nice image; a loyal friend, when he seemed to have had so few. "I only had a canary once," he says. "The Warbler bird, actually, but it died just after I had gotten it."</p><p>Sebastian's jaw drops. "Oh my god! <em>You</em> are the one who killed Pavarotti!?"</p><p>"I didn't <em>kill</em> him!" Kurt lets out, feeling very offended. "He died of natural causes! And how do you know about that, anyway?"</p><p>"I thought it was a Warbler legend," Sebastian says, shaking his head and looking at Kurt like he has finally found the missing piece of a puzzle. "‘<em>The last songbird of our school, tragically passed away too soon. To preserve its memory, we never had a successor'.</em>.." He snorts. "The way the others talked about that bird, it sounded like something that happened fifty years ago. I mean, apparently they had a <em>wake</em>. Who <em>does </em>that?"</p><p>"A funeral, too," Kurt says, "but only Blaine and I attended." He thinks of that time, ages ago, and of holding a boy's hand for the first time. The toaster's crisp <em>click</em> pulls him from his thoughts.</p><p>He quickly pulls the slices of toast out and drops them into a toast rack, careful to not burn his fingers (he doesn't need <em>more</em> burns on this trip) and carries the rack on the table. Sebastian puts their freshly brewed coffees down and they sit to tuck in.</p><p>While Kurt still contemplates what he is hungry for, Sebastian starts spreading butter on his toast- way, <em>way</em> too much for Kurt's liking, but he doesn't have to eat it so he refrains from commenting.</p><p>"Is the walk into town far?" he asks instead, reaching for his own piece of toast.</p><p>"Nah," Sebastian says, licking some of the butter, now half-molten, off his fingers, and suddenly Kurt knows what he is hungry for. It has little to do with butter.</p><p>"Only about three miles and we can take our time. It's a really nice walk." Sebastian takes a big bite of his toast, nearly swallowing the slice whole.</p><p>"Sure," Kurt says vaguely, watching Sebastian's throat bob as he swallows. His eyes follow Sebastian's tongue as he licks breadcrumbs off his shiny lips.</p><p>He manages to pull himself out of his reverie and quickly spreads jam on his toast. <em>Not everything is about sex, remember?</em> he sternly tells himself. He tries to concentrate on jam and coffee and <em>not </em>having horny thoughts.</p><p>"Is there anywhere I could buy some souvenirs?" he asks after a while of eating in silence. "I feel like I should probably take some stuff home for my family."</p><p>"Oh yeah," Sebastian replies. "There's plenty of stores. I'm sure we can find something."</p><p>Kurt smiles and takes a sip of coffee.</p><p>"I can't wait to toast marshmallows," Sebastian suddenly says longingly, as if he's been thinking about it all this time.</p><p>"Is it okay for us to build a fire on the beach, though?" Kurt asks, thinking of the stories he heard from the cheerleaders at school about getting busted for taking a disposable barbeque to the lake. (Apparently Coach Sylvester had gotten them off the hook by claiming she was 1/15th Australian and it was her constitutionally protected birthright to have barbeques wherever she pleased- Kurt still can't believe that worked, but has accepted her bizarreness as a fact of life.)</p><p>Sebastan shrugs with the casual indifference of the 1%. "Of course. It's <em>our</em> beach…"</p><p>"Right," Kurt agrees, and eats his final bit of toast. "Well, I'd better get dressed, then."</p><p>"Do you need some-" Sebastian starts.</p><p>"I'll be fine," Kurt cuts him off. Before Sebastian can get the wrong message, he quickly adds: "But thank you. I really feel a lot better. I think I can manage on my own."</p><p>If Sebastian eating toast is already working for him, how would he react to being helped in - or out?- of his clothes? Kurt isn't sure it's safe to find out right now.</p><p>Seemingly content with that explanation, Sebastian nods. "I'll find us a bag to take with us and pack some water," he offers, and Kurt leaves to get dressed.</p><p>*****</p><p>"How's this?" Kurt asks, stepping back out into the living room a little while later, fully dressed and hair perfectly coiffed. He spreads his arms a little and shows Sebastian his outfit.</p><p>His boyfriend doesn't say anything, and Kurt's insecurity rises. With it, his need for layers. Almost automatically, he pulls up his shoulders and hugs his own arms. Anything could spill from Sebastian's lips; a laugh, a joke, maybe even a cheesy pick-up line about how ‘the shirt is great but it would look even better on his <em>floor'</em> - and Kurt doesn't know what it's going to be. He doesn't like not knowing. He likes having a plan A, plan B, a retort and parry for everything. That's how he survived highschool.</p><p>"Do you want my honest opinion or a compliment?" Sebastian finally asks. Clearly he isn't sure which of his options is appropriate either.</p><p>"Honest opinion, please," Kurt asks humbly, bracing himself. He raises his chin and squares his shoulders.</p><p>Sebastian ducks his head a little and his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. "It's not very...you," he says carefully (far more carefully than Kurt expected). Then, nothing else.</p><p>Kurt's shoulders slump. "I know. That's because it <em>isn't.</em> It's Puck's."</p><p>What he thought might work for him back when he tried it on in Ohio feels foreign now; this Kurt is not <em>that</em> Kurt anymore, and he wishes he had packed a few more of his own things. Maybe he had been too careful, too protective of his stuff- would it <em>really</em> have been so bad to expose some of his wardrobe to the elements?</p><p>"I can go change? But the rest is like this too. I only brought one button-down and that seems a bit overdressed for a walk on the beach...Most of my stuff at home is dry-clean only so-" he starts to explain, but trails off when Sebastian suddenly looks very pensive, as if he is trying to see through Puck's shirt, or imagining him in something different.</p><p>"Do you want something of mine?" he suggests.</p><p>Kurt pauses. "Really?" he asks hopefully. Not only are Sebastian's shirts in a completely different league than Puck's, they are <em>his</em>, and him offering to share them feels unexpectedly domestic. He remembers a time where Sebastian told him firmly he was <em>never </em>getting into his closet.</p><p>Sebastian gives him another appraising look and then curls up one corner of his mouth.</p><p>"Sure. Come on."</p><p>He leads Kurt back to the bedroom and walks purposefully to the closet doors opposite the bed. It confuses Kurt a little, because he hasn't seen Sebastian actually take anything from his duffle bag and put it away. As far as he knows, it is all still sitting in the bag. Sebastian pulls open the doors and the mystery is solved.</p><p>"So <em>that's</em> how you got away with packing so little!" Kurt lets out, a little scandalized.</p><p>Sebastian has what looks like an entire second wardrobe neatly folded away in the closet, shirts, shorts, jeans, jackets, even several pairs of shoes.</p><p>"And you teased me for bringing two suitcases!"</p><p>Sebastian chuckles a little. "I <em>had</em> to. I think it's somewhere in the macho handbook."</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. "Show me that handbook later so I can burn it," he growls, but only half-heartedly, because he is already checking out Sebastian's wardrobe and it's unexpectedly <em>very</em> tasteful.</p><p>"Is this actually yours?" he asks, thinking about the faded shirt Sebastian wore on their way down. Nothing in here is faded unless intentionally and expensively so, his heart gives an excited leap as he spots label after label and realises it's all the real deal - bought directly from the catalog.</p><p>"Yes...and no," Sebastian says. "My mom enjoys buying me things to wear. I guess she's overcompensating for all of the time I had to wear a school uniform; and with me being the youngest, I am the last kid she can dress."</p><p>"These things are nice," Kurt states, running his hand over the sleeve of a jacket. "Your mom has good taste." He shoots Sebastian a look. "So how come you aren't wearing any of this?"</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "I didn't want you to feel underdressed," he teases, earning himself a slap on the arm. He's probably right, but Kurt feels a little insulted anyway on behalf of Finn and Puck's wardrobe.</p><p>Sebastian chuckles. Kurt assumes it was more a question of logistics- his bag was by the bed, only one grab away, and taking something from the closet actually required going there and opening it. <em>Effort</em>. He decides that maybe, for a holiday on a private beach, that's okay- though he secretly hopes Sebastian will make the effort when his parents come over because he really wants to see him in some of these things.</p><p>He slides his hand between the stack of folded shirts (which probably shouldn't feel as intimate as it does) and pulls out a white one with thin red and blue breton stripes over the chest and sleeves. The fabric feels soft and comfortable. The size looks right- while Sebastian is slightly taller than him, it's not enough to warrant a full dress size. His eyes go to the shorts next. He wouldn't mind something with a little less than twenty pockets, because apart from his wallet and phone, he doesn't really need to take anything and it adds bulk that he doesn't really carry.</p><p>"I'll leave you to it," Sebastian says, "just take anything you like."</p><p>"Thanks," Kurt replies. As Sebastian turns to leave, Kurt catches a sight of his shorts and remembers something from earlier. "Hey," he says, quickly turning back to the rack and pulling out a pair of shorts similar in color to Sebastian's current ones. "If I have to change, you do too, Mr ‘I don't need a towel to clean my hands'."</p><p>Sebastian looks at him for a moment as if he's about to argue, but Kurt raises an eyebrow at him and he visibly deflates, accepting the change of clothes with a resigned smile. He leaves Kurt then, backing out of the room wordlessly and Kurt turns back to the closet, still a little overwhelmed at suddenly having so many nice options.</p><p>He picks slim cut navy blue bermuda shorts to keep the sailor vibe of the shirt going and, because he can, he picks a pair of brown boat shoes from the bottom of the closet. They look brand new, and there's still tissue paper in the toes. Kurt pulls it free and tries them on. They are so comfortable he never wants to take them off again.</p><p>There's a long mirror on the inside of the closet door, and Kurt looks at himself. It definitely looks better than Puck's things, and even if it doesn't feel completely <em>him</em> either, that's probably only because he knows it's not his, because the style suits him well. It <em>could</em> be him.</p><p>Kurt squints and tries to imagine Sebastian in it. The white would look amazing against his tanned skin, and his legs would probably look twice as long with the shorts. He can see him casually leaning against the railing of a yacht, drink in hand, the sun reflecting off his sunglasses. Maybe even a fiddler cap in his hair-</p><p>Before he can get lost in his fantasy, Kurt makes himself close the door and walk to the living room. Sebastian is sitting on one of the bar stools and looks up as Kurt approaches. Kurt dows a little spin and holds open his arms in question.</p><p>"Okay?" he asks. "More...me?" <em>Or more you?</em> he quietly adds in his head.</p><p>Sebastian stares at him for a moment, then nods, turning his head towards the beach, but not before Kurt catches the glimpse of a smile. It sends a small thrill down his body.</p><p>"Shall we?" he asks.</p><p>"We shall, sailor boy," Sebastian says, securing the black rucksack that he'd packed over his shoulder, and they are off; through the terrace doors, down the steps and along the sandy path to the beach. As soon as they reach the water, Sebastian kicks off his flip flops and picks them up to walk through the water barefoot.</p><p>"Come on," he says, smiling at Kurt, and there he is again, that little boy, eager to show his friend his toys. Kurt decides to take off his shoes too (now that he's found them, he doesn't want to ruin them right away) and steps into the shallow water. Small waves lick at his ankles. It feels strange when he's not dressed for swimming, but the waves are nowhere near high enough to reach his shorts. When they pull back, the sand gets sucked back into the ocean too, fine grains flowing out from under his toes, making him feel like he is sinking or falling backwards. Kurt stares down to look at his feet and sways a little. Suddenly Sebastian's arms come up around him and hug him to his chest. "I got you," he whispers into his ear. Kurt leans back into him, closing his eyes and just concentrating on the feel of the sand under his feet and the body behind him.</p><p>"I know," he whispers back.</p><p>They start walking down the beach holding hands, and Kurt looks around him at the rolling expanse of beach and sea. From their sand castle spot the day before, or even on the terrace, it was difficult to comprehend how vast the piece of land that the Smythes own is. It goes on forever - what feels like miles and miles of untouched sand, pristine, unlittered, and <em>theirs.</em> There's an intimacy in making the only footprints in the sand, but a humbling timelessness too; they are wiped away as soon as the next wave comes in, not leaving a lasting impression. <em>The sea doesn't care who owns the beach</em>, Kurt muses. He looks out over the water.</p><p>There are a few sailing boats out on the ocean today, and Kurt thinks about what it's like out there at sea. "Is your dad's boat at the place we're going to now?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian follows his eyes over the water. "The harbour is just outside of the town, but we can go and look at it if you like. Technically I <em>can</em> take it out. I passed my test last summer, but to be honest, I have never sailed it without my dad. If you thought the detention I got for taking the car was bad, I don't know <em>what</em> he'd do to me if I crashed the boat, and...yeah."</p><p>Kurt squeezes his hand and raises it to press a kiss to the tanned skin. "We can wait for your dad," he says, secretly thinking that for all his bravado, it's cute that Sebastian still looks to his parents for things. He is glad their relationship is healthy enough for Sebastian not to take unnecessary risks just to prove that he's grown.</p><p>Sebastian starts telling Kurt about the boat and the trips they have made together as a family. A lot of it involves Julian; dares and practical jokes that his brother set him up to, swimming contests and times Julian has thrown Sebastian's books into the water to make him pay attention to him (Kurt reacts very indignantly at this, and Sebastian looks at him like he is finally vindicated). Kurt begins to see the level to which his big brother has influenced his life, though at the same time he still feels he's only scratched the surface of it, and he isn't even sure if as an only child for so long, he will ever fully understand.</p><p>"He wasn't always an obnoxious asshole though," Sebastian says. "Obviously me being younger than them meant that for quite a few years I had to go to bed a lot earlier, even on holidays. I used to <em>hate it</em>. So Jules would go to his room around the same time and sneak me in. He still had the room I'm in now so we'd sit out on the balcony, listening to music and looking at the stars, or playing cards. He taught me how to play poker when I was eight."</p><p>Kurt snorts a little because Julian <em>would.</em></p><p>"I don't have any stories like that of me and Finn," Kurt muses. "Our parents only got married a year ago, most of my stories are recent." Sebastian squeezes his hand and looks at him expectantly, and Kurt remembers that it's not about the stories themselves, but the <em>sharing.</em> So he gives in and tells Sebastian about <em>his</em> brother, and by extension, Puck.</p><p>Despite the fact that they're not tales of childhood antics, he can tell Sebastian is enjoying hearing them anyway. He interjects with things like "really? I love that game" and "Sign me up for <em>that</em> pizza…" and "Oh no, then what happened to the mattresses?". Maybe it's good for Sebastian to find out how much he actually has in common with Finn, as Kurt hopes there'll be more times spent together as family. After all, they had already kind of broken the ice by all sleeping in one bed together. When he gets to the part about setting up his dad with Carole, though, Sebastian just stares at him.</p><p>"You thought you could make Finn gay for you if your parents <em>dated?"</em> he lets out incredulously.</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I was young and stupid," he says. "Haven't you ever had a crush on someone you couldn't have?"</p><p>Contrary to his expectations, Sebastian does not use the opportunity to brag about ‘always getting whatever he wants'. Instead, a pained smile briefly twists his lips before schools his face into a careless expression and pulls up his shoulders. "Who hasn't," he mumbles, and Kurt suddenly hopes this is not about <em>Blaine</em>, because if it is, he's really stepped in it, hasn't he?</p><p>"Okay, Total Truth Time," he announces, dropping Sebastian's hand and jumping in front of him to stop him in his tracks. The look Sebastian gives him is almost panicky.</p><p>"How long did <em>you</em> believe in Santa?"</p><p>"<em>What?!"</em> Sebastian laughs and Kurt can almost <em>see</em> his shields coming down again in relief. Kurt is glad that he's learned a little bit about how to work them, because Sebastian managed to get behind <em>his</em> weeks ago. Fair is fair, after all.</p><p>The tension between them is broken. Kurt steps aside to let Sebastian through, and takes his hand again. He shares his favorite anecdote about the time his dad had asked one of the guys from the tire shop to come to their house and put a bag of presents in front of their door; he had gone for one last pick-up run on the highway and had ended up getting stuck in the snow himself. Burt had then gone to help him and together they had come up with an elaborate story about fixing Santa's sleigh and Santa asking him to deliver Kurt's presents so he could make up time on his route.</p><p>"And all evening I kept wondering if Santa would make it to all the houses that night, because surely fixing his sleigh had taken longer than just dropping presents off at our house...but then I stopped worrying because I finally got the Transformer I had asked for," Kurt finishes, chuckling a little. The further back the stories go, the less embarrassed he is about them, because he feels so far removed from that childhood he might as well be telling Sebastian about a movie he saw once. He can appreciate the memory now for what it was - <em>cute. </em></p><p>"Right. And here I was thinking you must have been such a clever little boy," Sebastian teases, his eyes glittering with mirth.</p><p>Kurt sticks out his tongue. "I was six, okay? Cut me some slack!"</p><p>"Well,<em> I </em>was never fooled," Sebastian says sagely. "My parents always hid the presents in the shed by the pool, I usually found them around Halloween."</p><p>"Why am I not surprised," Kurt mumbles, and he and Sebastian glare at each other for a moment before they both laugh.This; this is what had been missing between the two of them- sharing parts of their lives that aren't particularly impressive or important, and yet are a part of what made them who they are. Suddenly, Kurt wants to know everything; every trivial little detail, like Sebastian's favorite ice cream or the movies he has watched a hundred times, his dreams for the future and what crazy ideas he had as a kid of ‘what he wanted to be when he grew up'. He wants to tell Sebastian about all of him too- to let him in and <em>make </em>him the person who knows him better than anyone else.</p><p>They've hit the barrier where the private beach ends and the public beach begins. There is a wooden fence that runs from the grass at the top down to the water and a stile about half way along. Sebastian stops to put his shoes back on and Kurt does the same, dusting the dry sand off the bottom of his feet before sliding them into Sebastian's shoes (no - <em>his</em>, there's no way he's giving these back after this trip).</p><p>Sebastian climbs over first and then turns to help Kurt.</p><p>Once he's on the other side, Kurt is surprised by the amount of people and noise he's suddenly faced with. Couples, families and groups of friends are dotted all over the sand, spilling out into the water - talking, playing, listening to music. It looks like something off a postcard. There's the occasional burger or drinks stand set up every so often along the bank and it smells of sunscreen, sea and <em>summer.</em></p><p>Sebastian takes his hand again as they start to make their way through the throng of people, and Kurt feels a little thrill of walking around like this. He's also pleasantly surprised at how much Sebastian seems to <em>want</em> this kind of contact too. It doesn't feel like he's doing it because it's on the ‘boyfriend checklist'. Kurt realizes after a moment that, maybe, there just hasn't been anyone who actually <em>wanted </em>to hold his hand before. The thought makes Kurt hold a little tighter as they walk up the slope towards the path that Sebastian tells him will lead them to town. He wants to be that person for Sebastian.</p><p>The town, it seems, is more just one long street that leads to a small square, with a few other smaller roads that lead off from there. The first part of the street is lined on either side with what Kurt can only describe as ‘tourist traps' - the kind of souvenir shops that sell ‘unique' shell art with the town's name on it, that you can find in the next town with another name hot glued onto it. Kurt hopes this is not where Sebastian figured they might find something for his family, but as Sebastian ignores the stalls as they walk by, Kurt breathes a little easier. The further they get from the beach and the parking lot, the more interesting the street gets. There are bars, restaurants, small independent boutiques and a couple of beauty salons. Just on the corner where the street meets the square is the grocery store that Sebastian mentioned.</p><p>"The restaurant mom and dad booked for Friday is down that way," Sebastian says, pointing to one of the roads on the other side of the square. "Down by the harbour where we keep the boat."</p><p>Kurt nods. "It's like something out of a movie," he says quietly, entirely charmed by the seaside town. "I feel we should rent a Vespa and reenact <em>Roman Holiday</em>."</p><p>"Or maybe the adult remake, <em>Rimming Holiday</em>," Sebastian jokes, "because your outfit does kind of imply you like sea men."</p><p>Kurt's jaw drops and he shoots Sebastian an angry look. "They're <em>your </em>clothes!" he says indignantly, and his hand subconsciously moves to the hem of his shorts to pull them down a little.</p><p>Sebastian chuckles. "I never said there was anything <em>wrong</em> with that message." Kurt glares at him and Sebastian grins even broader. "Relax, it was just a joke. You look very classy."</p><p>Kurt huffs. Secretly, he thinks it's kind of funny, but he doesn't want to give Sebastian the satisfaction of knowing that.</p><p>"I'll make up for it," Sebastian offers. "You like ice cream right?" he asks and laughs at the look that Kurt throws him.</p><p>"Come on, you <em>have</em> to try Betty's! It's like, the <em>best</em> ice cream in the world. He bounces on the balls of his feet in excitement and takes Kurt's hand, pulling him across the square towards a picturesque looking ice cream parlour with curved red-and-white striped awnings and a big wooden sign that says ‘Cherry On Top'.</p><p>"Sebastian!" an old lady in a matching striped apron greets him as he steps up to the counter. She smiles brightly at him.</p><p>"Hey Betty," he greets her with a grin.</p><p>"I was wondering when we'd be seeing you this summer, are the family with you?"</p><p>"No, not yet, they'll be here in a few weeks but they're still at home finalising Olivia's wedding. We came down for a bit by ourselves."</p><p>Betty's face brightens even more. "Oh, yes, I saw in the paper that Olivia and Brian were getting married! I'm so happy for her, she's such a lovely girl. Give her my best wishes, will you?"</p><p>"I will," Sebastian promises.</p><p>Kurt watches the exchange and smiles at the familiarity between the two of them. He silently wonders if it's because of the Smythe name (he remembers what Sebastian told him about their family being ‘a big thing on the East Coast'), or if it's simply because of the number of years that the Smythes have been visiting.</p><p>She turns to Kurt. "And who is this fine young man?"</p><p>Kurt opens his mouth to speak, but Sebastian beats him to it. "This is my boyfriend, Kurt."</p><p>A record-scratch and a freeze frame happen inside Kurt's head, because this is it; this is the first time Sebastian has called him his boyfriend since they admitted that they<em> are</em>. And sure, it could have been for show in case his parents come here later, but deep inside Kurt knows it isn't. It sounds like he is practising to say it and mean it. Kurt is so busy analyzing the meaning of it all in his head that he almost misses the rest of the introduction.</p><p>"Kurt, this is Betty, creator of the finest ice cream on the East Coast."</p><p>Kurt hastily holds up his hand in an awkward little wave.</p><p>"You flatter me boy," Betty admonishes Sebastian, though she's smiling. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kurt. I've known this one since he was a baby. A tiny little thing he was, so fussy, he <em>hated </em>the heat."</p><p>Kurt grins as Sebastian's ears go red. "It's lovely to meet you too, and please, tell me <em>more</em> about tiny Sebastian."</p><p>"Oooorrr let's <em>not</em>," Sebastian cuts in and Betty chuckles indulgently. "Because I am a big boy now and we want ice cream." He narrows his eyes a little. "No sprinkles."</p><p>"Of course," Betty says, exchanging an amused look with Kurt. "What can I get you dears?"</p><p>"Mint Chip, please," Sebastian says instantly and she laughs again as if expecting it. Kurt realized her scooping spoon had already been hovering over the pale green container. She wraps a chocolate topped cone in a napkin and scoops a generous amount of Mint Chip in it. She sets it in the cone holder and looks at Kurt expectantly.</p><p>Kurt takes his time to look at all the options in the freezer. "I'll have the Lemon Cheesecake please?" he asks finally.</p><p>"Oh, excellent choice!" Betty says. "That one is my personal favorite." She takes another cone and fills it - Kurt can't help but notice that his is even bigger than Sebastian's.</p><p>"Thanks Betty," Sebastian says, handing her some money. "Keep the change." He takes his cone and Betty hands Kurt the other.</p><p>"Thank <em>you</em>," she says. "Enjoy the rest of your holiday and don't be strangers!"</p><p>"We won't," Sebastian says, pocketing his wallet and taking Kurt's hand again. "Have a nice day, Betty."</p><p>They walk over to a bench in the middle of the square and sit down to eat their ice cream. Kurt lets out a surprised moan of appreciation when he tries it. "Oh my god," he lets out, covering his hand with his mouth as he licks his lips clean.</p><p>"Told ya," Sebastian says triumphantly.</p><p>"Can I try yours?" Kurt asks. Sebastian eyes him from the side, cocking his head. Kurt is about to tell him to forget about it when he holds out his cone.</p><p>"I get to try yours as well," he demands.</p><p>Kurt grins and nods. He lays his free hand on Sebastian's to steady the cone, and takes a small lick over his ice cream. It's just enough to scoop off a bit of mint and a flake of chocolate. He sucks it off his tongue and nods appreciatively. It's quite good and he can easily understand why it's Sebastian's go-to flavor, but he likes his own better. He lets go of Sebastian's hand and is about to hold out his own ice cream when he notices a thick blob is about to drip down his hand, so he quickly brings it to his mouth to save it and lick the rest of the scoop into a shape that will stay in the cone. When he offers it to Sebastian, he finds his boyfriend staring at him, his own ice cream still held up where Kurt left it.</p><p>"Bas? Don't you want to try mine?" Kurt asks.</p><p>"I do," Sebastian says, and there's something a little dark in his voice. When Kurt catches his gaze, he can see the hungry look in his boyfriend's eyes. Before he can say anything, Sebastian leans forward and presses his lips against his, nudging them open and licking inside. Kurt makes a stifled noise of surprise against his lips before he opens wider, letting Sebastian explore his mouth and chase the flavor of his ice cream. As he pulls away, Kurt lets out a deep breath and needs a moment to gather his bearings.</p><p>"And?" he finally asks, clearing his throat.</p><p>"It's not bad," Sebastian says casually, but he is grinning smugly, his cheekbones a little flushed. Kurt raises an eyebrow at him in a quiet challenge, but then needs to save his outfit from his dripping cone and the moment is lost. <em>If the people in the square didn't know about them, they do now,</em> Kurt thinks, still feeling a little flustered.</p><p>They eat the rest of their ice creams in silence, watching the people around them. When a few of the locals stop to greet Sebastian as well, Kurt realizes this is something he will need to get used to. They <em>are</em> a big name here. The weight of Sebastian's words about his family dawn on him, and with it, another realization: <em>He's </em>now associated with the Smythes too.</p><p>If the townspeople know them well enough to know that Olivia is getting married, did they all know about Jullian and Cooper too? And if so, what did they think about <em>that</em>? Betty seems fairly open minded, but it<em> is</em> a small town, and he can't help but wonder and judge slightly.</p><p>And what about him and Sebastian? Will they all now keep tabs on <em>his</em> life in the same way? Was taking him into town a deliberate act on Sebastian's behalf, like a coming out? (suddenly, Kurt is extra glad he changed into a better outfit than he planned originally, because he really wouldn't want all of these people to look at him and go ‘eh, Sebastian could do better'). Kurt isn't sure how to ask all of the questions running through his mind and files them away for another time, but he can't help but feel a little more self-conscious as they go on.</p><p>Once they've finished their ice cream, they make their way towards the grocery store. Kurt sighs a little as the air conditioning hits him. The sun is really starting to heat up outside and even with the ice cream he is starting to feel it.</p><p>Sebastian grabs a basket and together they walk around the store, loading it with things that they need for the next few days. When they get to the cashier's counter, yet another person recognizes him.</p><p>"Sebastian!" the middle-aged woman says warmly. She reminds Kurt of Carole. Not from the way she looks- she has long hair where Carole's has been fashionably short since her make-over, and this lady is quite a bit stockier, but there's something motherly in her smile and the way she looks at Sebastian.</p><p>"Hello Mrs Hazel," Sebastian greets with a smile. "How are you?"</p><p>"Oh, I'm fine hon, how are you? The weather's lovely isn't it?" She turns to Kurt. "And you must be Sebastian's friend."</p><p>Suddenly, Kurt is unsure if he should specify what kind of <em>friend </em>he is, so he just nods and says "I'm Kurt."</p><p>Sebastian doesn't seem to notice, and they continue making light chit chat about his family whilst Mrs Hazel rings them up and then they load their supplies into Sebastian's rucksack. As they talk, it dawns on Kurt that she probably already knows the nature of their <em>friendship</em> - this is the place where Julian ordered the condoms.</p><p>Suddenly, Kurt wants nothing more but to leave. As nice as Mrs Hazel is to them, the whole situation makes him uncomfortable. Thankfully, their conversation comes to a natural end and they say their goodbyes before stepping outside.</p><p>"Wanna get some lunch before we head back?" Sebastian asks. "I know we only just had ice cream but it kind of made me realize how hungry I am…"</p><p>Kurt is looking at two men across the street. They are talking and seem to be looking their way- or is he just imagining things now?</p><p>"Kurt?"</p><p>The men continue their conversation without taking any further notice of them, and Kurt shakes his head to try and clear it before looking at Sebastian.</p><p>"I asked if you wanted lunch," Sebastian says, then frowns. "What's going on?"</p><p>Kurt looks around them for a quiet place to have this conversation. There are no benches on the corner, but the shop next to the grocery store has deep window sills and the blinds are drawn. He pulls Sebastian along with him and sits down.</p><p>"Do the people in this town know you're gay?" Kurt asks quietly. "I mean-" he shrugs awkwardly, "they do <em>now</em>, I guess, but...did they know before you brought me here?"<em> And kissed me right in the middle of the town square</em>, he adds in his mind.</p><p>Sebastian looks a little taken aback, and he pulls up a corner of his mouth in a self-conscious smirk. "I am pretty sure a few of them got the message after I never went on a second date with their daughters," he says. "Word probably spread. Why?"</p><p>Kurt bites lip. "And they're all...okay with it? Just like that?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about, babe," Sebastian admits. "Do you want to know if it's safe to hold my hand here? I wouldn't have done that if I didn't think it was."</p><p>"Yeah...no, I get that," Kurt mumbles. "It's just that everyone seems to know you here, and none of the people we talked to seemed to be bothered or even surprised by me-" He trails off. He pauses and another piece falls into place, "or it's because you're a<em> Smythe</em>," he finishes pensively, more to himself than to Sebastian.</p><p>Sebastian is quiet for a moment and looks out over the street. "I guess...the livelihood of more than a few people in this town depends on my family's money," he admits slowly. "So...if they disagreed with this- with us- they'd be a fool to say so."</p><p>Kurt nods. He figured as much. Another thing that money apparently can buy. He looks back at the grocery store. The memory of non-Jeremiah and his pears comes back to his mind. Sebastian playfully mentioned the town's daughters, but did the Smythes' money also make people look the other way with their <em>sons</em>?</p><p>"Did you ever...hang out with the boys here?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "<em>Hang out</em>? Are you asking me if I have a <em>lover in every port</em>?" He bats his eyelashes rapidly a few times, and Kurt feels his temper rise. He needs to know these things- not because he really wants to know about Sebastian's exes, but because he needs to take measure of this town and its limits. Sebastian notices, and quickly shakes his head. "I never hooked up with anyone here, Kurt. For one, this is a place I go to with my family-"</p><p>"That didn't stop you at the country club," Kurt interjects.</p><p>"And for another," Sebastian continues, ignoring his remark, "like you said: <em>everyone knows me here.</em> They know where I live, what I do when I come here...How awkward would it be to get off with someone and to have to see them every single time we take out the boat or order pizza? They'd get their hopes up, maybe sit around pining until I get back-"</p><p>"And there'd be no way to avoid them," Kurt finishes. Without the anonymity of the clubs and the regular rotation of country club staff, seeing someone here would have had too many strings attached.</p><p>"Exactly," Sebastian agrees. He pauses and looks down on his flip-flops, curling his toes in. "That was me <em>before</em>," he stresses. "It's different with you-"</p><p>"Yeah,<em> I</em> know where you live," Kurt teases, nudging him with his hip. He feels lighter than before. So this town wasn't a magical rainbow refuge or some kind of anti-Lima; that would have been nice, but Kurt prefers realistic expectations. At the same time, not having to worry about public displays of affection- whatever the reason that keeps them safe- feels amazing. And, if Kurt is completely honest to himself, so does knowing there's no chance of running into any of Sebastian's past hook-ups here. Sebastian nudges him back and looks at him from the side, an amused smile on his lips.</p><p>"You said something about lunch?" Kurt asks brightly.</p><p>*****</p><p>They pick a noodle bar just on the outskirts of the sand and sit to eat. Kurt loves people watching and is delighted that Sebastian does too (Blaine used to roll his eyes at him whenever he did that, telling him to mind his own business- because how would he feel being watched? But Kurt already knows how that feels, so he doesn't feel bad doing it too). They observe the people around them together while they eat, gossiping and coming up with stories about their lives, the suggestions getting more and more ridiculous as time goes on.</p><p>
  <em>"Look at that guy. Clearly a serial killer. Probably owns a van."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How do you figure that?"</em>
</p><p><em>"Please. Look at his </em>shoes.<em>"</em></p><p>
  <em>"Over there, behind the kids. How many surgeries?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Jeez, let's see...I'd say at least three."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wrong, it's seven."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What? How do you know?!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's one of the neighbours."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's unfair!"</em>
</p><p>*****</p><p>By the time they start heading back towards the house, the sun has moved over in the sky and started its slow descent. They walk back to the fence hand in hand and Sebastian steps aside to let Kurt climb over the stile first. Kurt has barely put his hand on the pole to steady himself for the climb when a deep voice says:</p><p>"Hold it right there, boys."</p><p>Kurt freezes and turns to face the owner of the voice; his eyes coming to rest on a community police officer. Kurt looks at Sebastian, unsure what to do. Sebastian shrugs. Kurt decides to climb down and takes Sebastian's hand.</p><p>"Is something wrong?" he asks.</p><p>"You can't go there, that's a private beach," the officer says, nodding at the fence and beyond.</p><p>Kurt can feel Sebastian shift beside him and braces himself. "We know that," Sebastian says a little waspishly. "It's <em>mine."</em></p><p>The officer scoffs. "Yeah, and I'm the Easter Bunny." He shakes his head. "Come on son, move along. The estate is owned by some rich family up in Ohio."</p><p>"That would be the Smythes," Sebastian corrects him.</p><p>"That's it. You've heard of them, then?"</p><p>Sebastian laughs humorlessly. "Yes, I'm their <em>son, </em>Sebastian <em>Smythe." </em></p><p>"Why should I believe you?" the officer demands, the edges in his voice a little sharper. He narrows his eyes and looks them over.</p><p>"Because I <em>say</em> so," Sebastian replies icily, "<em>officer.</em>"</p><p>Kurt is starting to feel restless. He doesn't want this to escalate- they've had a wonderful day, but his skin is beginning to feel tight and warm again, and he really doesn't want to track all the way back to the road to go around the fence. "Show him your I.D.," he suggests quietly.</p><p>"I'll do him one better," Sebastian says, pulling out his phone. "Let's call my dad and see what <em>he</em> has to say about us not being allowed onto our own fucking beach."</p><p>"Bas, come on," Kurt urges, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot. "He's just doing his job." The Sebastian he is seeing now reminds him too much of the boy he knew in school; entitled, quick to judge. Sebastian pulls his hand free from Kurt's grip as Greg answers the phone.</p><p>"Heyyyy dad," Sebastian says in an overly loving manner, staring at the officer as he does so. "We're having a little situation here, and I was hoping you could help. There seems to be a misunderstanding about <em>our </em>beach."</p><p>He hands his phone to the officer with a flourish, and stands with his arms crossed over his chest and an increasingly smug look on his face as the man talks to Greg and dawning comprehension crosses over his face. He sneaks glances at Sebastian while he listens, and occasionally nods and hums.</p><p>"I should have him fired for this," Sebastian mutters under his breath.</p><p>"You should <em>tip</em> him for this," Kurt corrects him, at the moment feeling more sympathy for the officer than his boyfriend. "He's doing what he's supposed to do. You're just angry not <em>everyone</em> knows who you are, and you're sulking about it like a child."</p><p>Sebastian falters at that and turns to look at Kurt, his mouth open. Kurt raises an eyebrow in quiet challenge.</p><p>For a moment, they stare at each other, then Sebastian deflates and uncrosses his arms. He looks down at the sand and pushes his toes in, scowling. "I'm sorry," he says quietly.</p><p>"It's not <em>me</em> you should apologise to," Kurt replies.</p><p>They look up at the police officer and notice that his expression has changed. His demeanor is softer, the lines in his forehead are gone and he's smiling whilst talking to Greg on the phone. A few minutes later, the officer hangs up the phone and hands it back to Sebastian.</p><p>"I'm sorry for the confusion, Mr Smythe," he says and Kurt can tell that he means it. "There's been a lot of issues recently with kids trying to get onto the land for private parties, and my boss told us to really crack down on security, check everyone, you know?"</p><p>Kurt glances at his boyfriend and places a hand at the base of his back. He can feel Sebastian lean into the touch slightly before he straightens up and schools his face into a smile. Kurt can tell it's still a struggle for him.</p><p>"I understand, officer-"</p><p>"No, please, just ‘Mike' is fine," he interjects and Kurt's heart goes out to him.</p><p>"<em>Mike,"</em> Sebastian continues. "I owe you an apology. You were doing your job protecting our property and I should be thanking you for that. I'm sorry for the way I reacted, it was…inappropriate."</p><p>Mike shrugs. "If some stranger tried to stop me from going home I'd probably react the same way."</p><p>Sebastian bites his lip and pulls his wallet out of his pocket. He takes out some cash.</p><p>"Please take this," he says, offering it out.</p><p>Mike steps back, shaking his head. "No, no, I can't take your money, sir."</p><p>"Please," Sebastian insists. "It's the least I can do. This place is my home away from home, and you help keep it safe. Let me buy you a beer or something for that."</p><p>Mike looks helplessly at Kurt, who pulls up his shoulders in an equally helpless gesture. He knows it doesn't make up for being treated like trash, but at least Sebastian is trying. It's an awkward situation for all of them.</p><p>Still looking a little reluctant, Mike stretches out his hand and takes Sebastian's offering.</p><p>"Thanks," he says, his eyes going a little wider as he feels the bills between his fingers and realizes how much it actually is. "I'll treat the boys at the station." He pockets the money and offers them a tight smile. "You, ...uh, go right ahead then." He gestures at the fence and ducks his head a little.</p><p>"Thank you," Kurt says. "Have a nice evening, Mike."</p><p>"Yes, thank you again," Sebastian hurriedly adds, casting a look at Kurt as if to check if his groveling is being noted.</p><p>Mike tips his hat to the boys and turns around, starting to make his way back to his route.</p><p>Kurt watches Mike walk away for a moment, still feeling a little sorry for him, but relieved that Sebastian had turned his attitude around. He hasn't seen <em>that</em> Sebastian for a long time and really hopes it was a momentary blip.</p><p>He turns to look at Sebastian and sees he has already climbed over the stile. He quickly follows. As soon as he's over, Sebastian starts walking at a brisk pace. Kurt hurries over to catch up and looks at him from the side, tripping over his feet a little as he tries to keep pace.</p><p>Sebastian avoids his gaze and looks so crestfallen that it breaks Kurt's heart a little. He saw the error of his ways and apologized to Mike, so what is this? Does he think Kurt is still mad at him? Or is he mad at Kurt for making him apologize?</p><p>"Bas," he starts, rushing in front of Sebastian and stopping in the sand, blocking him from escaping. The waves lap at his feet, seemingly eager to wash over everything.</p><p>"I'm an ass," Sebastian spits out suddenly, cutting Kurt off.</p><p>"W-"</p><p>"No, Kurt. I mean it, I'm an asshole who treats the people around me like shit and I don't even notice because I am too busy feeling self-righteous about it! Why do you even like me? I am horrible." Sebastian throws his hands in the air and runs them through his hair, a wild look in his eyes.</p><p>Kurt bites his lip. Now <em>this</em> is a side of Sebastian that he hasn't seen before. Cocky, yes; Asshole, sometimes; Family man; Kurt's personal favorite...but self-denigrating? He dislikes this side even more than the asshole; especially because most of it isn't even true - and no one gets to talk about him like this, least of all himself.</p><p>"Hey now," he says, stepping up to him and taking Sebastian's hands, pulling them down from his hair.. Sebastian looks at him helplessly, but flips his palms up to lace their fingers together.</p><p>"Okay, so you're an asshole - we already established this morning that I am, too," Kurt says with a grin. Sebastian makes a noise in the back of his throat and tries to pull his hands away but Kurt keeps his grip. "<em>But</em>," Kurt continues,"I know that that isn't <em>all</em> of you. I wouldn't be here with you if it was. And you're definitely not horrible, because I happen to have an excellent taste in men."</p><p>Sebastian bites his lip. "I don't even know why I spoke to him like that. I guess...I just got mad. I didn't mean to embarrass you."</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "Trust me, I've embarrassed myself a lot more over the course of my life. Ask me about my neon phase one day." He looks up at Sebastian. "The important thing is that you apologized. You're not a robot, you have feelings. Sometimes they get ahead of us, it happens. I'm sure Mike is already over it."</p><p>"Are you?"</p><p>"Sure. I'm just glad we didn't have to take the long way around the beach," Kurt says honestly.</p><p>He can tell Sebastian is going over it in his mind and gives him a moment.</p><p>"Neon huh?" Sebastian finally says. "Are we talking shirts...socks...underwear?"</p><p>Kurt lets out a laugh and steps back from him, pointing a finger in warning. "No way! That is a story for another time. It's <em>your</em> turn!"</p><p>"Oh, are we taking turns again?" Sebastian says and starts walking again, but slower this time, allowing Kurt to walk alongside him.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt confirms with a smile. "I like this...getting to know you better." He sees Sebastian softly shake his head as he follows and roll his eyes. "Admit it. You like it too."</p><p>"Did you ever consider that the reason I don't talk about some things might be because if you knew me better, I'd lose my plus-one to Liv's wedding?" Sebastian says lightly, kicking up some sand. He avoids Kurt's eyes, looking at the water instead.</p><p>"I have," Kurt replies earnestly. "But from the things I have learned about you <em>without</em> you telling me, I have deduced it can't be that bad."</p><p>"Oh, you've <em>deduced</em>, have you?" Sebastian echoes, but his lips are curling up a little at the corners and he bumps his shoulder against Kurt's. "Like a proper Jessica Fletcher?"</p><p>"I was thinking more like Sherlock Holmes. I look great in a deerstalker," Kurt counters, bumping him back. "But I won't wear it to Liv's wedding."</p><p>Now, Sebastian laughs and he stops walking to look at Kurt properly. He's shaking his head like he can't quite understand what he's doing or what is happening, but it serves him right, because that is exactly how Kurt has been feeling for a while now.</p><p>"Okay, okay, if embarrassing stories are what you want, I've got one too," Sebastian says, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking on his feet nervously. "It involves the pantry."</p><p>For a moment, Kurt is afraid it will also involve non-Jeremiah, but then Sebastian starts.</p><p>"So, the lady you met, Mrs Hazel, she worked at the store as a delivery girl when I was younger- but growing up, I always thought that my parents called her <em>Mrs Frizzle</em>, and so I thought-"</p><p>Kurt laughs out loud. "You thought the pantry was being stocked by the magic school bus?" Kurt says through his laughter. He can't believe what he is seeing. Is Sebastian actually <em>blushing?</em></p><p>"Well, it all <em>did</em> appear overnight," Sebastian mumbles and turns away from Kurt, and Kurt feels a surge of love for this boy who looks like he has just revealed his brand of kryptonite.</p><p>"That's <em>adorable</em>," he offers, stepping forward and reaching out a hand to slide through the gap between Sebastian's arm and his waist, gently coaxing his boyfriend's hand out of his pocket and curling their fingers together. "That's a <em>good</em> thing," he adds, because he can tell a part of Sebastian is cringing inside. Still, his boyfriend <em>had</em> just teased him about neon underwear, so he's not going to get away completely scot-free.</p><p>Sebastian doesn't look entirely convinced but doesn't push; maybe he's learning to let things slide too. They walk in silence for a bit and Kurt can't help but picture a younger Sebastian getting all excited because their food was being delivered by a magic bus. He grins. After hearing so much about Sebastian's childhood today and the mental image he is currently conjuring of his boyfriend in his head, he just <em>has</em> to see more of it for himself.</p><p>"I am going to text Greg and Charlotte and ask them to bring your baby albums," he threatens with a mischievous smile.</p><p>Sebastian goes wide-eyed. "What! No, you can't do that!"</p><p>"Try me," Kurt says, pretending to reach into his pocket. "I'm getting my phone right now."</p><p>Sebastian reaches for Kurt with his free hand and grabs his arm, holding him tightly, fingers digging into his forearm a little. "I'm serious, <em>don't." </em></p><p>His grip brings them to an abrupt halt, and Kurt nearly loses his footing in the wet sand. With a little jolt, he is reminded of that first time Sebastian had grabbed his arm like this, all those weeks ago at the Lima Bean. It was the first time he had actually used Kurt's real name without replacing or following it up with an insult.</p><p>
  <em>"Please, Kurt."</em>
</p><p>Kurt almost gets a little chill, but Sebastian doesn't seem to get the association at all and is clearly still thinking about the pictures.</p><p>"You wouldn't like it. My hair-" he pleads, genuinely looking a bit distressed.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head, letting go of that image of early summer. That is not the Sebastian who is with him now. He scoffs. "Please, it can't be worse than <em>my</em> hair. I wore it with a partition well into freshman year, with bangs over my forehead."</p><p>Sebastian's grip on his arm slackens. "Really?" he asks, staring up at Kurt's hair, which is still styled up to perfection despite a day of walking around in the heat - thank <em>god</em> for his expensive hair products. Kurt realizes Sebastian has never seen it the way he used to wear it before he got a proper haircut. What if Sebastian used to wear his hair differently, too? In his head, he adds more to the list of things he wants to know (and see) about his boyfriend. What exactly would Sebastian think qualifies as bad hair? Did he ever get a buzz cut or try to grow it out? Did he let Olivia style him with little bows and clips? Because he really wants to see <em>that</em>.</p><p>"<em>Really</em>," Kurt promises. "And my dad <em>loves</em> taking out the pictures of my ballet recitals at every opportunity he gets, so I think I deserve to see at least a few pictures of you in a Han Solo costume or like, in your pajamas on Christmas morning <em>pretending</em> to be surprised." He winks.</p><p>Sebastian lets go of Kurt and clasps his hands over his face dramatically. "I still can't believe Julian told you about my Star Wars phase. It's <em>so</em> uncool."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "I think it's sweet," he says fondly. He takes a deep breath and lets it out on a sigh. "And I think it's okay to know these things about each other." He pauses.</p><p>"I still like you. And you know I won't tell anyone, right? I mean, all of this-" He gestures at the beach, back towards the fence, and at them. "It'll be <em>ours</em>, and no one else's. I won't use it against you."</p><p>Sebastian lowers his hands and looks at him, and Kurt suddenly understands that <em>that </em>is what Sebastian is afraid of; that it'll be hung out to air and used to mock at parties to make him feel uncomfortable, or worse. Kurt has a feeling that Julian especially enjoys such indiscretions. "I <em>won't</em>," he assures him again. "I want to protect that adorable, precocious boy at all costs."</p><p>He can tell he's gone too far, because Sebastian frowns and snorts derisively. "I'm not that boy anymore," he says, "so just adopt a puppy or something to protect, okay?"</p><p>Kurt wants to argue, because he has <em>seen</em> that boy; sulking at his big brother's antics, jumping into a rosebed to call him, building a sandcastle and then stomping on it; but now is not the time to push it.</p><p>As he looks out over the sea, he remembers his decision from the night before, and the reminder of it makes him feel just as light as it had then. There are still more things that need to be said, but still; now that the money is finally off the table, he can think clearly again, plan his future. And this time, Sebastian plays a pivotal role in those plans.</p><p>*****</p><p>They make their way back over the beach, and reach the house as the sun is just going down. It nearly takes Kurt's breath away. He never thought they'd be doing this- spending time together just for the sake of being together. And in such a setting! Watching a beach sunset with someone is about one of the biggest romantic clichées out there, and it's one Kurt has always secretly dreamed about, (while at the same time feeling a little ashamed for buying into the whole trope.)</p><p>They are all alone in their cocoon of picture-perfect bliss. Kurt doesn't think to capture the moment on camera (though he'll regret that a little, later). He adds the sights to the album in his mind instead; the colors, the soft sounds of the ocean, the light gleaming in Sebastian's eyes. It makes him want to sing soft, melodic Madonna songs from her esoterical album, or nineties tunes with artistic sepia music videos set on the beach.</p><p>"What are you thinking about?" Sebastian asks.</p><p>"Soft-focused lenses," Kurt says cryptically. He begins to hum the first lines of <em>Wicked Game</em>.</p><p>Sebastian looks at him from the side. After a moment, he says: "That's pretty cheesy, even for you."</p><p>Kurt grins. "I embrace my romantic side, Sebastian. Maybe you should, too? You're the one who suggested this walk…"</p><p>"...and if you tell anyone, I will have to kill you," Sebastian adds, but his smile is softer now, and after a few minutes, he hums the melody of the song. Before Kurt can say anything, he quickly says: "It's stuck in my head now. Thanks <em>a lot</em>."</p><p>*****</p><p>"...and that's all it is. You just add in the peas, and then you're done." Kurt crosses his arms over his chest and looks down at the meal they have just created <em>without</em> making the smoke alarms go off. Pasta Carbonara. A go-to meal in the house of Hummel because his dad loves bacon, Carole loves things that are easy and fast to prepare, and Finn loves anything a five year old would eat every day. For Kurt, the dish is purely a carrier for parmezan, but since Sebastian enjoys cheese as well, he figured it would be a good way to try some cooking together.</p><p>"It smells good," Sebastian admits, the pasta tongs still in his hand. Kurt has made him do most of the work while he talked him through it. Despite claiming that this was a one-time only deal and he was ‘not made for the kitchen', Sebastian actually paid proper attention and only needed to be told things once. He followed Kurt's instructions closely and the result looks and smells perfect.</p><p>"And <em>you</em> made it," Kurt adds, giving him a lidded look. "Ask me how attracted I am to you on a scale of one to ten right now."</p><p>Sebastian raises a single eyebrow and puts down the tongs. "Okay…" He gives Kurt a very slow once-over before locking his eyes onto Kurt's. "How much?"</p><p>Kurt licks his lips. He looks down at the food, then back at Sebastian, taking his time. "Eleven," he says, his voice low, "...and a half."</p><p>Sebastian cocks his head and narrows his eyes suspiciously. "For real? It's just pasta."</p><p>"I can't help it," Kurt sighs affectedly. "Men cooking are my absolute weakness...it makes me <em>so </em>horny...tying an apron...and the way they handle their <em>tools</em>..." He waggles his eyebrows and does a casual flip of his hair that he has seen Julian do a few times, hoping Sebastian will get the reference. If <em>everything</em> is about sex, two can play that game.</p><p>Sebastian stares at him for a moment, then his eyes glint with mirth and the corners of his mouth quiver. He schools his face into a leer and clears his throat.</p><p>"Oh yeah? So do you think this rich, <em>creamy</em> pasta will <em>fill you up</em> and <em>satisfy</em> you completely?" His voice is as low and sultry as it can get, he's stepping closer, and Kurt can tell he's trying to imitate his big brother in such an exaggerated, comical way, right down to the walk, it's almost surreal.</p><p>"Mm-mmmm." He has to press his lips together to stop himself from laughing. He lasts just a little longer than Sebastian, who snorts, then blasts out a laugh. He nearly doubles up, tucking his arms in over his chest. Kurt has to reach out a hand for the plate so it doesn't get swiped off the counter. He has to laugh as well, mostly because Sebastian's giggling is so infectious.</p><p>"Oh my god-" Sebastian catches his breath and straightens up again. "You're crazy," he states. "I get that you're hungry, but cooking is not that sexy."</p><p>"It can be, if you wanted," Kurt replies. "Gotta put in some effort…" He winks. "I'm sure you can get me to a twelve if you made me a chocolate soufflé."</p><p>Sebastian chuckles. "I knew you were high-maintenance but I never guessed it would actually have to involve cooking for you."</p><p>"Welcome to my wonderful world," Kurt replies. "Now come on, let's eat this before it gets cold."</p><p>*****</p><p>"Are you going to finish that?" Sebastian asks, eyeing Kurt's plate.</p><p>Kurt smiles. "No, I'm done. Do you want it?"</p><p>"Can I? It's really good."</p><p>"Sure, help yourself." He pushes his plate over to Sebastian and rests his head on his hand, content watching Sebastian eat.</p><p>"You left the best bits," Sebastian says, spearing several pieces of bacon on his fork.</p><p>"Mmm," Kurt agrees. He had noticed how Sebastian had picked his out and ate them first, and, deciding that he didn't want that many anyway, Kurt saved some for him, though he's not sure he would have offered if Sebastian hadn't asked. There's something about sharing food- something homely and intimate, and while a large part of Kurt does these little things ‘on autopilot' (caring, after all, is his second nature), a little bit of him is still hesitant, afraid that too much of this at once will push Sebastian away or earn him a sarcastic joke. With Blaine, he wouldn't have thought twice.</p><p>"Last chance," Sebastian says, interrupting his thoughts, and he holds out a piece of bacon on his fork. "Three, two…"</p><p>Kurt pointedly waits out the countdown and watches as Sebastian eats it himself, enjoying it with exaggeration. His earlier questions come back to him; favorite flavors (he adds bacon), favorite things- and with that, the <em>Sound of Music</em> song automatically pops into his head, because it's his favorite. "What was your favorite movie as a kid?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastain raises his eyebrows and continues chewing as he thinks about it. He swallows and wipes his mouth on a napkin. "Why?"</p><p>Kurt shrugs and smiles. "I just want to know. Mine was <em>Sound of Music</em> for the longest time. You know...<em>raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…</em>"</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "<em>Bladerunner,</em> I guess," he replies.</p><p>Kurt frowns. "I mean <em>before</em> that. Like from when you were ten or something."</p><p>"I was! You forget I have two older siblings. I watched a lot of stuff that wasn't age appropriate."</p><p>"That explains <em>so</em> much."</p><p>"Ha ha. Okay," Sebastian sighs, giving it more thought. "Maybe...<em>Shrek</em>?"</p><p>"I love that film!" Kurt lets out happily. "The message about inner beauty-"</p><p>"I love when Fiona starts singing and the bird explodes," Sebastian says eagerly.</p><p>Kurt laughs. "Yes. That too."</p><p>"Is that what happened with Pavarotti?" Sebastian adds and Kurt gasps indignantly.</p><p>"Shut <em>up</em>!!"</p><p>Sebastian chuckles. "Do you wanna watch it? I think we have it on dvd here somewhere."</p><p>"<em>Shrek</em>? Or <em>Bladerunner</em>? I've never actually seen that…"</p><p>"Both, but hold up - <em>What?</em> Okay, that's impossible. How can you have <em>not</em> seen <em>Bladerunner</em>?"</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "Isn't it very violent?"</p><p>"Well, they're not singing about the alphabet, but...come on, you have to see it. It's amazing!"</p><p>Kurt looks at him, unable to resist Sebastian when he's enthusiastic like this. "Sure. But if it's too gruesome I reserve my right to switch to ogers and donkeys."</p><p>"Deal."</p><p>The movie is better than Kurt had anticipated, though perhaps a little long-winded; it's visually stunning, with Rutger Hauer adding a large part of the appeal. Sebastian's anecdotes about his favorite parts and his ability to deliver lengthy parts of the dialogue are very amusing, but in the end, it can't hold Kurt's attention. They had started out side by side on the couch, but Kurt had slowly burrowed himself closer to Sebastian's side until finally, he let his head droop against his chest.</p><p>"Hey," Sebastian whispers. "Kurt?"</p><p>"Mmm? I'm awake!" Kurt says quickly, sitting up a little and trying to surreptitiously feel the corners of his mouth for drool. The end credits of the film are running. Sebastian smiles fondly.</p><p>"Well, <em>I</em> am tired even if you are not," he announces, "so maybe we should just get ready for bed?"</p><p>Kurt yawns and nods. Sebastian gets up from the couch and holds out his hands. Kurt grins sleepily and slaps his hands into Sebastian's to let himself be pulled up like this is something they do all the time. That's what it feels like, anyway. They make their way to the bedroom, and Sebastian gathers up his pajamas from the pillow. Holding them to his chest, he looks at Kurt for a moment, then drops them onto the bed again and proceeds to take off his shirt.</p><p>To make him feel comfortable, Kurt only looks a <em>little</em> before unbuttoning his shirt as well, and keeps his eyes to himself when Sebastian takes off his shorts. It would have been a prime opportunity to tease Sebastian with his own mocking words about not watching him undress, but Kurt is not <em>that</em> much of an asshole. He also does not want to scare Sebastian back to the bathroom again.</p><p>They finish dressing for bed and take turns in the bathroom. (Because as much as Kurt appreciates Sebastian taking a step forward by undressing in the same room, he is <em>not</em> ready to watch Sebastian use the toilet while he's brushing his teeth. Sharing a bathroom somehow feels even more intimate than sharing a bed.) As he applies some more after-sun on his shoulders, he realizes that apart from some tightness, he is no longer sore, and as they switch off the light, Kurt is reminded of their first night at the beach - he'd really been in too much pain the night before - and hopes that he might be able to persuade Sebastian to kiss him until they fall asleep.</p><p>The look Sebastian gives him once they're under the covers, and the way he gravitates towards Kurt, makes him think that maybe he won't need to do so much persuading. Their lips have barely touched however, when Kurt hears it. A buzzing.</p><p>He shakes his head and it stops. Eager to move on, he leans forward and kisses Sebastian's lips properly. Sebastian kisses back, making a soft noise of approval in the back of his throat as he shifts his body closer. When he breathes in, their chests touch. Kurt rubs the tip of his nose against Sebastian's and smiles in the dark. Then he hears it again.</p><p>It buzzes, and it's almost like he can feel the air move, beaten by tiny little wings.</p><p>Kurt makes a loud, disgusted noise and sits up, propelling himself away from Sebastian a little.</p><p>"Wh- what is it?" Sebastian asks, reaching for the light switch to look at Kurt.</p><p>"There's something here," Kurt says. "A bug."</p><p>Sebastian presses his lips together and nods, his hand pausing over the light switch on the nightstand. "Mosquitos. There was less of a breeze today. I guess we should close the window before more of them come in." He throws back the sheet and swings his long legs over the side of the bed to get up.</p><p>Kurt sits up, waits until Sebastian has closed the window, and switches on the light. He scans the room with his eyes. "Do you get a lot of those over here?"</p><p>Sebastian blinks against the sudden brightness and shrugs. "Every now and then. It depends on the weather. They don't like me, though. Olivia always says she's the mosquito bait of the family and all of them just fly into her room. We used to tease her about it and say she was ‘the sweetest of us all'."</p><p>"Well, this one sounded like it was trying to fly directly into my ear," Kurt says, and dares Sebastian to make a joke about that.</p><p>"There!" Kurt points at the wall, where a tiny black dot sits. He gets up and squints at it. It's a mosquito, alright. He raises his hand and it takes off, hovering in the air in front of him for a moment before disappearing out of sight almost as if it has become invisible. "What the-" Kurt mumbles and looks around him again. The mosquito is nowhere to be seen. Great. Beach house fucking ninja mozzies. Kurt sighs and shivers a little. His body is powering down and he longs for the warmth of the bed and Sebastian's body.</p><p>"Shall we try again?" Sebastian asks, and slips back under the sheets.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt replies. One stupid mosquito can't keep him away from the kisses he has looked forward to all evening. He steps back into bed too, and Sebastian switches off the light again.</p><p>It doesn't take long for the fiendish bug to return. Kurt tries to ignore it, kissing Sebastian harder and more urgently, but as Sebastian responds by sucking the tip of his tongue, it feels like the mosquito has actually <em>landed</em> on Kurt's face and he <em>can't</em>. With a pained whine, he pulls away and bats at his head. Sebastian lets out a hard sigh and switches the light on again.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I just-" Kurt starts, but Sebastian shakes his head.</p><p>"Let's just find it and kill it before it kills <em>us,</em>" he mutters darkly, and he reaches for a magazine on his nightstand and rolls it up. They peer at the walls and the ceiling in silence.</p><p>Nothing happens. Kurt blinks and rubs his eyes. Suddenly Sebastian steps up onto the mattress and has his eyes fixed on the ceiling. Kurt moves back a little, wanting to give him room, and <em>not</em> wanting a swatted mosquito to fall onto him.</p><p>Sebastian hits his makeshift weapon against the ceiling and grunts on the impact.</p><p>"You missed, it flew-" Kurt starts.</p><p>"I <em>know </em>that!" Sebastian shouts, frustratedly. "Fuck!"</p><p>Kurt bites his tongue and feels his eyes burn a little, suddenly feeling extremely childish because of the rebuke. He pulls up the sheet and hugs it around his body.</p><p>Sebastian sees. He closes his eyes and shakes his head softly. "I'm sorry," he adds in a quiet voice. "I'm tired, too."</p><p>Kurt nods. Exhaustion is not a good combination for them, apparently. It makes Sebastian irritable and Kurt oversensitive.</p><p>Kurt blinks a few times, trying to sort himself out. Then, as if completely unaware of the upheaval it is causing, the mosquito buzzes by. Kurt brings up his hands and claps them together, then looks at his palms. Nothing, and the buzzing continues.</p><p><em>Urgh! This is it,</em> Kurt thinks. <em>This is what ruins us</em> (because the later it gets, the more dramatic <em>Kurt </em>gets). The buzzing stops again.</p><p>"Don't. Move." Sebastian says. Kurt freezes. Sebastian's eyes are fixed on a spot behind Kurt. He steps forward on the mattress, which dips with his weight. He raises the magazine, pauses, then slams it down on the wall with force, nearly toppling himself over on Kurt as he does so.</p><p>Kurt half-catches him, wrapping his arms around him to help him balance, and Sebastian stares at the wall triumphantly. It has a tiny smear of blood on it. Kurt looks at the magazine and sees what is left of the mosquito sticking to the side.</p><p>"Eew, that's gross," he says, wrinkling his nose. "We should throw that away and clean the wall."</p><p>"Yeah, we will," Sebastian says. "Tomorrow." He throws the magazine down on the floor and sits down next to Kurt. "For now, I honestly just want to sleep."</p><p>Kurt agrees, and they settle down under the sheet again. Sebastian switches off the light and then pulls Kurt into his arms, wrapping his long body around him to spoon him from behind. "I really am sorry for shouting at you," he whispers in Kurt's ear.</p><p>"It's okay," Kurt replies. "I'm sorry for being a baby about a bug."</p><p>"Don't be. I hate those things too. Spiders are fine but airborne bugs? Big nope."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Nothing with more than four legs is <em>fine</em>, but I see your point." He pauses and snuggles a little further into Sebastian's embrace. "Goodnight, Sebastian."</p><p>"Goodnight Kurt. Don't let the bedbugs bite."</p><p>"Ha. Ha. Jerk," Kurt mumbles, and drifts into sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Playlist :<br/>['melodic Madonna songs from her esoterical album'] <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hprYoupKgg">Shanti/Ashtangi</a><br/>['nineties tunes with artistic sepia music videos'] <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vKsSGyQf-M">Wicked Game</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: N0regretsjustless0ns; thank you for your unwavering support over the past few months, your listening ear and sage advice has gotten us both through this - also thank you for being as excited about this as we are! We hope you’ve enjoyed the preview &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Wednesday morning, the room is bathed in sunlight and Kurt keeps his eyes closed for a moment, letting his body soak in the warmth as he lets his mind enter the land of the living. Eventually he blinks his eyes open, sighing happily, and finds Sebastian looking right at him. It startles Kurt a little, before he is captivated once again by the ever-changing color of his boyfriend's eyes.</p><p>They're bright and green in this morning light and are staring at him in wonder. Sebastian is lying on his side, his head propped up on his hand with his elbow resting on the bed and it appears as though he's been watching Kurt for a while. There's a small smile playing on his lips and his gaze is drinking Kurt in. He looks a bit like he has never seen anything like Kurt before and can't quite believe he's his. It makes Kurt feel a little shy, and he can feel a blush warming his skin even more than the sunlight.</p><p>"Morning," Sebastian says softly, lifting his free hand to trace a finger down Kurt's cheek.</p><p>"Good morning," Kurt says in a throaty voice. He clears his throat a little. "Have you been there long?"</p><p>Sebastian grins and lets his hand fall back on to the mattress. "No, I just woke up. You looked so peaceful."</p><p>Kurt reaches a hand up to brush Sebastian's hair off his forehead and runs his fingers through the soft brown locks, curving around the back of his head and drawing him closer. Sebastian follows the pressure and leans forward to capture Kurt's lips with his own. His lips are warm and soft, and Kurt chases the warmth, tightening his hand in Sebastian's hair and sucking his boyfriend's bottom lip between his own.</p><p>Sebastian hums appreciatively and flicks his tongue out to tease his way into Kurt's mouth. Kurt opens up under him and slides his own tongue up and against Sebastian's. There's nothing heated about this kiss, neither of them is using it as a segway to something more; but Kurt feels the warmth from the kiss spread through his body right to the tips of his fingers and toes and he can't fight the smile at the sensation. Sebastian is smiling too and pulls back a little, pressing a final chaste kiss to Kurt's lips.</p><p>"Wake me up like this every morning?" Kurt whispers.</p><p>"Okay," Sebastian replies, kissing him again.</p><p>*****</p><p>A while later, Sebastian gets up to make coffee and Kurt uses the space in the bed to stretch out and test his body. The Aloe Vera really has seemed to work and his skin feels a lot better - the pain is gone and his skin no longer feels tight. He says a little thank you to karma for healing him so quickly- years of treating his skin right must have finally paid off.</p><p>Now that the pain from the sunburn has dissipated, he can feel the dull ache in his muscles; both from swimming on Monday and the walk into town and back yesterday. He flexes his calf muscles and feels the pull. Kurt grins. If they keep up the daily exercise during their stay, he can tone his legs up a little before the wedding and take his slacks in a little more. He thinks of the way Sebastian looked at him coming out of the water the other day and feels an excited thrill run down his body. He'd enjoyed the swim, salt water on his skin and hair be damned...</p><p><em>Who even are you?</em> He thinks to himself. That there'd ever be a moment in his life where he would voluntarily get into the water to actually <em>swim</em>, is a bit of a surprise even to himself. In his highschool days, Kurt hated the words ‘pool trip' even more than ‘dodgeball', as it always resulted in having to change in the family room with the senior citizens' swim club or risk being accused of ogling the other boys, and then spending the whole trip dodging the jocks' snapping towels and people trying to cannonball him to the bottom of the pool. Swimming with others had always been a bit of a hazard.</p><p>With Sebastian, all he has to worry about is not getting lost in his lifeguard fantasies again. And with that, his body reminds him of something he needs to take care of before coffee.</p><p>Sebastian returns to the room carrying their coffee and he grins at Kurt. "Balcony?" he suggests.</p><p>Kurt blushes. "I need a moment." He nods in the direction of the bathroom, and Sebastian leers a little.</p><p>"Take your time," he says with a knowing grin, and Kurt almost wants to shout at him that he is <em>just</em> going for a pee and that (again) not everything is about sex, but his body would probably be on Sebastian's side, because it is in fact his morning hard-on that has reminded his bladder it was time to go. He'd never win.</p><p>Kurt waits for a moment for Sebastian to carry their coffees out onto the balcony and then throws the sheets off and walks to the bathroom.</p><p>When he's done, he spends a moment examining his back, twisting his head around a little so that he can look at it in the mirror. The skin is still a pale red, but he no longer resembles a member of the crustacean family so he's calling it a win. He might actually end up with a slight tan by the end of their stay, and wouldn't that look good in the wedding pictures?</p><p>With that thought in mind, he leaves the bathroom and heads to join his boyfriend on the balcony.</p><p>Sebastian is standing in the corner gazing out to sea, his arms resting on the balustrade, his coffee cup nestled in his hands. He looks relaxed and at ease. Kurt lets his eyes travel over the long lines of his legs, the muscles well-defined and powerful from the years of dance and sport, but still a little lanky and going on forever. His tank top is hanging off one of his arms a little, exposing tanned skin and broad shoulders. Kurt licks his lips. His boyfriend really is unfairly sexy.</p><p>"See something you like, Hummel?" Sebastian says, turning to throw Kurt a smirk over his shoulder.</p><p>Kurt shrugs unashamedly and grins. "Wouldn't you like to know," he says, slinking up behind Sebastian to wrap his arms low around his waist and pressing his face against his boyfriend's shoulder blade. He nips at the skin playfully.</p><p>"Mmm," Sebastian hums, leaning back into the touch. Kurt tightens his grip and tucks his chin over Sebastian's shoulder to look out at the ocean.</p><p>"I'm so glad we came here," he says honestly. "I like spending this time with you, getting to know each other better."</p><p>Sebastian turns his head slightly to look into Kurt's eyes. "Me too," he replies, before turning back to look at the water.</p><p>They stand like that in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. It's a comfortable, peaceful quiet, filled by the sound of the waves and the seagulls; it doesn't feel like he needs to find something to say or offer to do something. Just standing there together is enough.</p><p>Then Kurt remembers his coffee. He presses a kiss to Sebastian's shoulder again and releases him, moving to the table to pick up his now lukewarm coffee.</p><p>"What do you wanna do today?" Sebastian asks, breaking Kurt's thoughts.</p><p>"I hadn't thought about it yet," Kurt replies honestly, finishing his coffee in a couple of gulps, shuddering slightly. Sebastian had mentioned a few things to do their first morning here; lighthouses, national parks...and a part of Kurt wants to see it all, he wants to visit all the places Sebastian and his family have gone over the years, he wants to see it all through Sebastian's eyes and learn more about this incredible boy that is very quickly stealing his heart.</p><p>The other part of him wants to save all of that for another time and just spend the day with Sebastian here at the house or down at the beach swimming and building sandcastles.</p><p>"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Kurt asks, turning the ownership back on to his boyfriend.</p><p>Sebastian's face morphs into a familiar smirk and leer, "what, other than <em>you,</em> you mean?"</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes but can't keep the smile from his face, because he has completely walked into that one.</p><p>"Hardy har," he says dryly, knowing that Sebastian is just saying it out of habit, a reflex of innuendo that is baked into his Smythe DNA.</p><p>"Admit it; I am extraordinarily funny," Sebastian demands.</p><p>"You're extraordinarily <em>something</em>," Kurt replies under his breath and Sebastian laughs.</p><p>"I don't mind what we do either," he says easily. "How's your back? It still looks a little red."</p><p>Kurt rolls his shoulders. "It feels much better - that Aloe Vera worked wonders. I think as long as I wear sunscreen and reapply it regularly I'll be okay. We could just stay around here again today? We have the whole beach to ourselves."</p><p>"We<em> always</em> have the whole beach to ourselves," Sebastian points out with a grin, but he does not argue it. "Okay then." His smile grows and his eyes twinkle mischievously. "If we're gonna stay here, I have one request."</p><p>"Only one?" Kurt asks, crossing his arms over his chest and cocking his head.</p><p>"I want a rematch in the water. Either a full fair play, or <em>all-stops-out-everything-allowed</em>." Sebastian waggles his eyebrows and his eyes glitter.</p><p>Kurt laughs. "You're still annoyed that I beat you the other day?"</p><p>Sebastian points at him, an amused look on his face. "I was playing fair and you cheated! I deserve a rematch."</p><p>"Fine," Kurt says, standing up. "It will be more of a challenge if we both try to play fair."</p><p>It's playing it safe; he is not sure what <em>everything-allowed</em> would mean in such a setting. There's quite a few things he can think of that Sebastian could do that would make Kurt want to forfeit the game right away to play another.</p><p>"Fair enough," Sebastian agrees, holding out his hand. "No tricks, then."</p><p>"No tricks," Kurt agrees and shakes Sebastian's hand, thinking that this is all a bit ridiculous and how much he loves it.</p><p>After a light breakfast and a cup of coffee that hadn't gone cold, the boys get ready for a day at the beach. Really not wanting to risk making any of the same mistakes from their first day, Kurt makes sure to wear a t-shirt and packs his bottle of SPF-75 into the bag they're taking down to the sand.</p><p>Sebastian has packed the cooler with drinks and food, and Kurt carries their bag, which also contains their towels and Sebastian's book. Kurt has slipped a notepad that he found into the canvas bag, along with a pen. After breakfast, he had checked his Tumblr account for the first time all summer and feels guilty at having abandoned his readers. He doesn't want to take his laptop to the sand, but he can sit and pen some ideas down for the latest installment of his fanfiction the old fashioned way.</p><p>They set up a base on a flat, dry plot of sand and Kurt starts to lay down their towels while Sebastian heads to the shed for ‘supplies' - Kurt assumes these supplies are the sand castle tools and games from the other day, and while he does bring that stuff over as well, when Kurt looks up from his handiwork, he sees Sebastian also carrying a large beach umbrella over his shoulder. Kurt hurries to help him, taking the bag of tools from his hands and setting them down on the sand. He watches as Sebastian sticks the end of the umbrella deep into the sand near the towels and is unable to keep the hearts from his eyes.</p><p>When Sebastian looks up and catches Kurt's gaze, he blushes a little. "I just remembered that we had this - after my sunburn incident mom went out and bought it."</p><p>"I like it," Kurt says looking at the bright, rainbow-patterned canvas. "Very fitting." Sebastian grins at him, and then softens it into a fond smile when Kurt adds, "thank you."</p><p>"You still need sunscreen though," Sebastian adds with a wink.</p><p>"Yes!" Kurt agrees, bending down to pull the bottle from his bag. "I already did my front and my arms at the house." Feeling a little daring, he hands it to Sebastian. "Will you do my back, please?"</p><p>Sebastian eyes widen and he licks his lips, looking very much like his brain just short circuited. He swallows and lets out a little puff of air, his eyes darting over Kurt's body. "Okay," he says in a croaked voice.</p><p>Kurt nods and he takes his shirt off, feeling a little self-consious now that Sebastian has actually said <em>yes</em> (which he knows is stupid because it's not the first time Sebastian has seen him without a shirt, but give him a break, he's pretty touch-starved). He watches as Sebastian's eyes visibly darken as they rake over his exposed skin and Kurt suddenly feels ten degrees hotter than he did a second ago.</p><p>Sebastian seems to shake himself out of it and turns the corner of his mouth up into his trademark smirk. He throws the bottle in the air a little and catches it, before stepping into Kurt's personal space (which, since Kurt has met Sebastian and Julian has sort of become a <em>Smythe space</em>, it seems) and whispers in his ear: "Turn around for me, babe."</p><p>His deep voice shoots straight down Kurt's spine and he knows this is Part One of Sebastian's revenge for winning the race the other day, because just the words alone are suggestive enough to get him half hard and Sebastian hasn't even touched him yet. So much for playing fair.</p><p>He does what he's told, fixing his eyes on the sea, and waits. He can hear Sebastian flick open the cap and braces himself for the cold lotion squirting onto his skin. Nothing happens at first, and then he feels Sebastian's fingers carefully brush the base of his neck, his fingers slippery. His touch is featherlight, as if he's testing how much pressure he should apply on Kurt's sunburned skin, and as he smoothes out the lotion by running his hand down one shoulder, he softly asks: "Is this okay?"</p><p>Kurt starts to nod, but his back is turned so he reassures him with words just to be clear. Sebastian continues, adding his other hand to repeat the motion on both shoulders, starting in the middle and running them down Kurt's shoulders, ending in a soft squeeze of his biceps. He moves back to the nape of his neck and smoothes his hands down Kurt's shoulders again, pushing the balls of his hands against the muscles between his shoulder blades.</p><p>Kurt moans softly. It doesn't hurt; Sebastian is being very gentle, and the Aloe Vera really has helped. With the absence of pain, Kurt can concentrate on the simple pleasure of having someone rub his shoulders.</p><p>Sebastian takes a bit more lotion, warms it between his fingers, and carefully rubs it up and down Kurt's back, massaging it into the skin. He follows Kurt's spine with a flat palm, all the way down to the small of his back, and Kurt sucks in a breath and holds it. But Sebastian pulls away and his hands return to rub sunscreen on his sides and the rest of his back. Kurt squirms a little when Sebastian's warm hands reach his waist, especially as they squeeze him a little, and it's <em>oh</em> so easy to imagine those hands holding on to his hips like that in another setting. Kurt finds himself automatically arching his back a little, offering up more to hold on to, but Sebastian's hands run back up his sides and then he stops.</p><p>Kurt can feel his heart beating in his throat.</p><p>"Do you want me to do your legs too?" Sebastian asks, his voice not completely steady either.</p><p>"Yes, please," Kurt croaks out, and he clears his throat. He does not want this to stop, ever, and is wondering if he could ask Sebastian to do his chest as well, even though he has already taken care of that himself.</p><p>He hears the bottle squirting, and sees with half a glance over his shoulder that Sebastian has knelt down behind him, his head level with Kurt's hips. <em>Oh my god</em>, Kurt mouths to himself, and he has to close his eyes because the visual is almost too much.</p><p>Sebastian taps his inner thigh a little, and Kurt widens his stance, barely breathing. Sebastian cups two hands around his upper thigh, and his long fingers almost meet in the front. Kurt feels the pressure of Sebastian's thumbs as they run down the back of his leg, his palms spreading the lotion down his thigh and calf. He can't help himself; as Sebastian's hands narrow and close around his ankle for a moment, all Kurt can think of is being manhandled onto his back on a bed with his legs in the air, and Sebastian's hands holding his ankles up as he fucks into him.</p><p>Sebastian takes some more lotion and moves to the other leg, starting at his calf and working his way up. He reaches Kurt's swimming trunks, that now span even tighter around him than before, and runs his thumb under the fabric, following the crease on Kurt's thigh where his ass begins. He repeats the motion on both legs with two hands at the same time, and Kurt knew from Santana that <em>underboob</em> is a thing, but is <em>underbutt</em>? In any case, it's a brand new erogenous zone for him, and he's almost shaking by now.</p><p>"Sebastian…" he sighs, and the movement on his leg stops. He glances down again and Sebastian is still holding his right thigh tight between his hands, but has his head pressed into his elbow and is breathing deeply. From the angle that he's kneeling, Kurt can see the visible line of Sebastian's erection - and with his own tenting the front of his shorts, Kurt thinks now is probably a good time to stop- that, or throw all caution to the wind and ravish his boyfriend in the sand.</p><p>Kurt reaches down to Sebastian's head and runs a hand through his hair. Sebastian startles at the touch and looks up at Kurt and <em>god</em> that visual puts even more inappropriate (<em>right, so so right</em>) thoughts into his head.</p><p>Kurt averts his eyes, looking up to the sky and taking a few calming breaths.</p><p>When he can trust his voice again, he looks back down. "How about that race?" he asks with a grin. Sebastian relaxes and looks up at him, a sheepish grin spreading across his own face.</p><p>"That sounds like a good idea," he agrees, dropping his hands from Kurt's legs and rubbing them together.</p><p>"Thank you," Kurt says, offering him a hand to help him up. "For helping me with this."</p><p>Sebastian smirks and takes the help. "My pleasure," he says as he stands up. "Literally."</p><p>He winks and looks down comically at his shorts and Kurt feels his shoulders relax. He's glad they are not pretending this was nothing. "Same," he mumbles, and Sebastian rubs the pad of his thumb along the back of Kurt's hand. Kurt squeezes his in answer and then drops it, stepping back from him to take up position in the sand.</p><p>"Ready?" he asks in challenge.</p><p>"Steady," Sebastian responds, a playful glint in his eye as he takes up position next to Kurt.</p><p>"Go!" Kurt yells and they set off, both running as fast as they can to the sea. The cold water will deal with what they are not yet ready to deal with together, and then they can move forward with their holiday without pressure.</p><p>They reach the water at the same time and splash their way through the waves. Kurt can't keep the smile off his face as he hurries to try and beat Sebastian; the thrill of the chase is addictive and as Sebastian gracefully dives in, propelling himself through the water and breaking through the surface again a few feet in front of Kurt, Kurt yells out; "No!" through his laughter.</p><p>Sebastian's own laughing is all he gets in response and Kurt dives under too, kicking his feet together and moving into a front crawl. When he surfaces again he can see he's caught up quite well and he and Sebastian are neck and neck.</p><p>"Give it up babe," Sebastian pants, splashing him a little with the water.</p><p>"Hey!" Kurt laughs giddily, splashing him back. "No cheating!"</p><p>They playfully taunt and bicker all the way to the buoy and this time Kurt is the one to put his hand on it first. "YES!" he cheers.</p><p>"Nope," Sebastian says, shaking his head. "You cheated, doesn't count."</p><p>"What?" Kurt laughs, wiping water from his face with the hand that's not clinging to the buoy.</p><p>"You splashed me, it doesn't count."</p><p>"You splashed me first."</p><p>"No I didn't, that was water displacement."</p><p>"You're so full of shit," Kurt laughs.</p><p>"I'll race you back. NO cheating!"</p><p>"I didn-" Kurt starts to protest but Sebastian is already off. "HEY!" he yells.</p><p>He can hear Sebastian laughing loudly as he swims away and Kurt dives after him, his legs and arms working furiously to catch up. As Sebastian kicks his legs into the air, Kurt is sprayed with water again. It's easy to picture the Smythe boys as children, constantly trying to outdo and one up each other; the encouragement from Olivia watching from the sand and the watchful eye of Charlotte and Greg making sure their offspring were safe. The image makes Kurt's heart feel warm and he is once again thankful that Sebastian grew up in such a loving environment.</p><p>As he catches up and overtakes his boyfriend, Sebastian yells out, still laughing animatedly, and he grabs hold of Kurt's arm, trying to pull him back. Kurt goes under for a moment and he resurfaces, spluttering a bit to see Sebastian already on his feet and wading through the water towards the sand, and safety of the towels. <em>So much for ‘no tricks'.</em> Kurt gives it one last-ditch effort and gets to his feet too. His muscles protest as he charges after Sebastian and manages to catch up to him just as Sebastian gets to the beach. Kurt grins and jumps onto his boyfriend's back, trying to stop him from getting further.</p><p>"Kurt!" Sebastian yells as Kurt's arms and legs wrap around him. He stumbles under the unexpected weight, and Kurt uses the movement this causes to launch himself from Sebastian's back and pushes his body away, swinging him around a bit. Sebastian falls forward and Kurt laughs; he is on his feet and taking off again. He's almost to the towels when Sebastian grabs hold of his waist and they both topple to the sand.</p><p>Kurt face-plants into the warm fabric of his towel, Sebastian landing half on top of him, and he collapses in a fit of laughter. Sebastian's weight is heavy on his back and he can feel his boyfriend's laughter too. They lie like that for an indeterminate amount of time, neither of them able to catch their breath from laughing so much, and Kurt's heart swells with love and happiness at the ridiculousness of it all. This part of their relationship is not something he'd expected. He and Blaine had always been so eager to appear grown-up and mature, to exude style and dignity and project the perfect relationship. From day one, Kurt had felt like Blaine had a standard he needed to meet - there had not been much room for games and letting loose.</p><p>In retrospect, maybe that had added to the pressure and to Blaine's doubts about being able to maintain a long-distance relationship. Perhaps they had expected too much, and in order to be taken seriously as a couple, had given up playfulness.</p><p>It's a relief to not have to go through all of that with Sebastian. If <em>he</em> acts like a five year old, so can Kurt, and maybe that is exactly what Kurt needs after years of keeping a tight reign on himself, mentally and physically (thank you corset vests and lace up boots, no need for you at the beach). He smiles and pushes his toes in the sand and the thoughts from his mind. He wants to focus on the here and now with Sebastian.</p><p>"You're such a cheat," Sebastian finally says, gasping for air and rolling off of Kurt to collapse next to him in the sand.</p><p>"ME?" Kurt screeches through his laughing, "Y-you were the one who pulled me under the water! I nearly <em>drowned!</em>"</p><p>"You splashed me," Sebastian says, grinning.</p><p>"You're an idiot." Kurt shakes his head and looks at him incredulously.</p><p>"Joke's on you, I'm <em>your</em> idiot," Sebastian says and his smile is so wide and his eyes so bright that Kurt feels his heart stop in his throat.</p><p>"You are," Kurt says, the laughter dying from his voice to be replaced with another emotion. "And don't you ever forget it."</p><p>Sebastian's eyes crinkle at the sides and he leans over to kiss Kurt square on the mouth.</p><p>"Never."</p><p>*****</p><p>They spend the next couple of hours relaxing on the beach. At some point, Sebastian pulls out a bluetooth speaker and puts a playlist on quietly in the background. It plays a good variation of songs; recent hits from that summer as well as some ‘golden oldies' and for once, not every song reminds Kurt of Blaine. In fact, none of them do. They occasionally break the easy silence to sing along, making each song their own. With no one around to hear them, they might as well.</p><p>Kurt is lying down on his back, head pillowed on his and Sebastian's shirts, enjoying the peacefulness.</p><p>He lets his head fall to the side and looks at Sebastian through the tinted frames of his glasses; he is reading his way through <em>City of Lost Souls</em> and his gaze is intent on his book. Kurt watches in fascination as his expression changes as he moves through the story. Every now and then, an audible exclamation or gasp will fall from Sebastian's mouth as the story takes another twist and Kurt can't fight the rush of emotion he feels at the intimacy of being allowed to witness this part of Sebastian. He surreptitiously reaches for his phone, under the guise of reading a text message, and snaps a few pictures. He might as well start a physical photo album that coincides with the one in his head. He wants to keep this moment and treasure it.</p><p>*****</p><p>He must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing he's aware of is a hand gently shaking him awake. He yawns a little and removes his sunglasses to look up at Sebastian.</p><p>"Mmm," he mumbles, "Sorry."</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "Don't be, I just looked at the time and realized it's past lunchtime, are you hungry?"</p><p>Now that he's awake, Kurt realises that he is in fact <em>starving</em> and he sits up properly.</p><p>"Yeah, actually, I am."</p><p>Sebastian reaches for the cooler and places it between them. He hands Kurt one of the sandwiches they had made that morning and Kurt accepts it gratefully.</p><p>"How's the book?" Kurt asks as they eat.</p><p>"It's good, a little slow but I've read reviews that say to expect that," Sebastian replies. "I've read all of the others and have been meaning to read this one since it came out, so I'm gonna persevere."</p><p>Kurt smiles and nods. "I've not read the series yet."</p><p>"Oh you should, if you like <em>Twilight</em> you'd like this."</p><p>"I liked the film," Kurt offers.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "The books are <em>way</em> better."</p><p>"Aren't they always?" Kurt asks with a grin and so follows a discussion about the pros and cons of book to movie franchises.</p><p>After lunch, Sebastian decides to go for another swim to cool off from the heat of the sun. Kurt declines the offer to join him this time, and instead reaches for a small purple spade. He doesn't know why, but the urge to <em>dig</em> is oddly, suddenly overwhelming. Maybe it's because this is his first time at the beach - before this week, his only experience of playing in the sand has been the play bins at kindergarten where you're constantly in a battle for the best spot and the best toys, and Kurt had always lost the battle and moved to play dress up with the girls. Or maybe it's seeing such joy on Sebastian's face the other day that reflected many remembered childhood memories. Whatever it is, Kurt doesn't give it much thought, focusing instead on dragging the spade through the sand and dumping his loot into a pile in the middle.</p><p>He's picked a spot a little way from the towels and keeps digging. Once he's dug up the soft, white, dry sand, he hits slightly damper stuff, and when the hole is deep enough that he has to reach his arm in to get to the bottom, he moves along a little and carries on, making a moat. After a while, he's made his way around in a sizable square and sits back for a moment to admire his handiwork.</p><p>"Not bad, babe," Sebastian says, coming up behind him and admiring the impressive trench that Kurt has dug. "Could do with a bit of formation in the middle." He laughs at the look Kurt throws him and holds up his hands. "I'll shut up."</p><p>"If you have so many pointers," Kurt quips playfully. "You could build your own and we'll ask your family which one is better."</p><p>Sebastian grins, the thrill of a challenge lighting up his eyes.</p><p>"Got a taste for it now, huh? Alright Hummel, I <em>will</em>...be prepared to have your ass whipped."</p><p>Kurt smirks at him and raises an eyebrow. "Oh, it's on."</p><p>Kurt knows making a contest out of it is just Sebastian's way of legitimizing his childhood hobby by making it look difficult and grown-up. Personally, he'd be fine with him upturning a bucket, sticking some shells and sticks on and calling it a castle if that is what makes him happy, but he also understands the thrill of challenging one's self.</p><p>Kurt feels the same way when he finds affordable clothing online- others might just buy and wear it and be done with it, but he enjoys making adjustments to the cuts, trying out designs he has seen on the catwalks without completely understanding how they were done just to see if he can replicate them. He'd no sooner wear an off-the-rack shirt than Sebastian would use a castle-mold.</p><p>They spend the next few hours digging and building away. Kurt widens his trench a little to gather more sand and then starts flattening and carving into the mountain in the middle. In his mind he wants to build Hogwarts, but the final product looks a bit more generic. Still, he's pleased with his work. It has a large central castle with towers and turrets placed strategically around the outside. He fashions an excellent drawbridge from a cuttlefish bone he found by the shore and builds up a boundary wall around the outside of the trench.</p><p>Sebastian is stationed a little way from him and has been studiously packing down and carving into the sand. His castle doesn't have a moat like Kurt's but has multiple layers and a ‘pathway' that sweeps around the outside. As Kurt sits back, happy with his own effort, he watches Sebastian work. There's a look of concentration on his face as he carves a stone pattern into one of his towers, his tongue poking out a little.</p><p>Kurt smiles to himself. It would be very easy to distract him now, maybe even so much that he knocks over his tower and has to start over- but Kurt does not want to win <em>that </em>badly. Instead, he grabs a bottle of water from the cooler, sits back and just enjoys the view, letting his mind drift to his writing. Bella and Edward are always so serious too- maybe it's time he writes them into some kind of playful situation as well and see if his readers like that.</p><p>He's halfway into composing a new chapter in his head when Sebastian sits back and loudly stretches, pulling him out of his thoughts.</p><p>"I'm done," Sebastian announces.</p><p>Kurt looks at the castle. It looks amazing; more like a mountain top city than just a castle, with all of the extra buildings and streets that Sebastian added in the carving. He's gonna win for sure, but Kurt finds that he doesn't even really mind. He's gotten a few great ideas for his fanfiction from it.</p><p>Sebastian comes back to the towels and digs though the bag for his phone. Kurt waits until he finds it, and then hands him a bottle of water as well. Sebastian lets out a puff of warm breath and nods appreciatively, taking it and drinking almost half in one go.</p><p>"Thanks," he gasps. "I didn't notice how thirsty I was."</p><p>Kurt shrugs it off. "Can I take my own picture of my castle?" he asks.</p><p>"Why, you don't trust me?" Sebastian asks playfully.</p><p>Kurt smirks. "With this? Maybe not."</p><p>"Control freak," Sebastian teases fondly, and hands him his phone. Kurt sticks out his tongue and snaps a picture of Sebastian's surprised face before going over to his construction. He wants to showcase the drawbridge and take it from an angle that makes the main tower look larger than it is to make it look more impressive. He gets down on his knees and elbows and tries to get the phone in the right angle. When he's satisfied that he has taken the best picture to show off his architecture, he sits back on his haunches and looks over at Sebastian, shading his eyes from the sun with his hand.</p><p>"Are you okay?" he asks. Sebastian is staring at him, apparently lost in thought. "Bas?"</p><p>Sebastian snaps out of it and runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yep, I'm good," he says, more to himself than Kurt, and he pushes himself up from the towel to take his phone back.</p><p>Kurt prepares himself for some kind of comment about the picture he took, but Sebastian doesn't even look at it. His eyes are still on Kurt, and he licks his lips. "I'm okay," he says again without Kurt asking, and then he turns away to take a picture of his own castle. Kurt wishes he has the courage to ask what's on Sebastian's mind, but he doesn't want to push it.</p><p>When Sebastian has finished taking pictures, his momentary absentmindedness has passed, and he is back in the moment with Kurt, who is glad he hasn't pushed for answers.</p><p>"Okay, I'm gonna send it off," Sebastian announces. "The moment of truth."</p><p>"I'll drink to that," Kurt says playfully, and takes a chilled beer from the cooler bag. "You want one too?"</p><p>Sebastian nods and Kurt takes out two cans, popping them open and handing Sebastian one as he comes back to the towels to sit down. "Cheers," Kurt says, holding his up in a toast. The cold lager fizzes on his tongue and down his throat, and Kurt lets out a satisfied sigh. It completes the perfect beach experience; the warmth of the sun, shaded by the umbrella, the scent of sunscreen and the salt of the ocean and the slightly bitter, refreshing drink. "This is what holiday tastes like," he says idly.</p><p>Sebastian smiles and takes a large sip of his own beer. His phone buzzes, and he quickly sets his can in the sand to pick up his phone.</p><p>"It's Olivia," he says, and reads out her message.</p><p>
  <strong>OLIVIA: Mt Saint Michel wins! HEIGHT: 8, DESIGN: 10, ORIGINALITY: 9, EXECUTION: 8. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sorry Kurt, love the bridge and moat but HEIGHT: 5, DESIGN: 6, ORIGINALITY: 4, EXECUTION: 5 (sorry again ILU Kurt). Great for a first try though!! Better than Seb's first.</strong>
</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Well, at least it's better than the one you built as an eight year old," he says drily. "Congratulations. You beat me."</p><p>"Of course I did," Sebastian says, then pauses. "Thanks," he adds, and leans closer to kiss Kurt on the lips. Sebastian tastes like beer and salt.<em> I want this to never end,</em> Kurt wishes. If only it could always be summer, always just the two of them. He'd let Sebastian win every time.</p><p>Kurt decides Sebastian needs some kind of award to celebrate his win, so when they finish their beers and pack their things, he lets Sebastian do the honors and flatten both castles. He saves the drawbridge for another day, storing it in one of the buckets.</p><p>They use the outside shower behind the back of the shed to wash themselves free of sand, and Kurt is pleased to note that there is no stinging today when he steps under the water. He washes his body down quickly and does his best to ignore the way the water runs down the toned, tanned skin of Sebastian's chest.</p><p>Sebastian still has a happy smile on his face, revelling in his win, and when Kurt suggests home made pizza for dinner, his smile grows even wider.</p><p>They've been in the kitchen for about fifteen minutes when Kurt realises his first mistake. Sebastian, it seems, is not yet ready to graduate from student to sous chef, and needs very clear, specific instructions.</p><p>"I said grate <em>some</em> cheese Bas," Kurt says incredulously, looking up from the dough that he had just kneaded and stretched into a pizza shape. "Not the whole block!"</p><p>Kurt laughs a little and has to bite his lip to stem the flow as Sebastian's shoulders slump and he looks at the neat mound of cheese that he's grated on the chopping board.</p><p>"You didn't specify how much and...you can <em>never</em> have too much cheese!" Sebastian says defiantly.</p><p>Kurt laughs again and shakes his head. "It's okay, I saw some tupperware in one of the cupboards, we can just refrigerate what we don't use."</p><p>"Who says we can't use all of it?"</p><p>"We'll see," Kurt sighs, shaking his head fondly and Sebastian grins triumphantly.</p><p>"Now what?"</p><p>Kurt picks up the jar of pizza sauce. "Now, we make the pizza." He grasps the lid and tries to twist it open. Then tries again. He glances at Sebastian, who seems to be waiting for something, a smug smile on his lips.</p><p><em>I am not going to ask him</em>, Kurt thinks, tightening his hand on the lid. <em>Because-</em> he twists harder - <em>I am not-</em> he turns his shoulder in for more pressure, ignoring Sebastian's outstretched hand to take it from him - <em>a girl!</em></p><p>With a plopping noise and a big splat, the jar opens, spilling a part of its contents out over Kurt's clothes. "Fuck!" he lets out, stepping back and holding the jar away from himself.</p><p>"You know, you should have let-"</p><p>"Shut up," Kurt says, feeling more than a little humiliated. "I can open my own jars, okay?"</p><p>"I can see that," Sebastian agrees, taking the jar from him and setting it down by the sink to wipe off the sides.</p><p>Kurt sighs deeply. "I'm going to take these off and put them to soak. If I do it right away I might be able to keep the stains out."</p><p>Sebastian nods. "I'll clean up," he offers, and Kurt already feels silly for losing his temper.</p><p>"Thanks," he mumbles, and hurries to the bathroom. He runs the water in the sink and takes off his clothes. The swim shorts are dark and somewhat salvageable - and even if they're not, Kurt doesn't feel too bad about it, he really should replace them anyway (or at least use it as an excuse to raid Sebastian's closet again). The t-shirt however, is unfortunately white and the red stains are seeping into the fibers of the fabric. Kurt soaks the shirt in the cold water, letting the water run over and through the fabric, and it slowly fades to a muted pink. Hopefully a night in laundry detergent will deal with the rest.</p><p>He tiptoes naked across the hall into their room to get changed. He takes clean underwear from his bag and choses a dark shirt and capri pants from Sebastian's closet in case there are more accidents with the sauce, and returns to the kitchen feeling calmer and determined to give Sebastian a fair chance. What he finds in the kitchen is a little bit of a disaster.</p><p>Sebastian has poured all that was left of the sauce over the dough and piled on everything he could find in the fridge that could go on pizza- including almost all of the cheese he grated - and it now sits as a tiny mountain on top of the flattened raw dough. He smiles excitedly as if to say ‘look, I fixed it'.</p><p>Kurt bites his tongue. "You know...this is not going to work," he says carefully. "The dough will never rise like this."</p><p>Sebastian looks so disappointed it's kind of adorable. "I thought it would sort of...spread once we put it into the oven," he says sheepishly, reaching for the grated cheese to pop some of it into his mouth. Kurt bats away his hand.</p><p>"It won't," he says, but maybe we can salvage it." He takes the sauce ladle and pushes the mountain of toppings over to one side of the pizza and then uses the parchment paper to lift the other side up and fold it in half.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Sebastian asks.</p><p>"Making a calzone. Or something like it, anyway," Kurt says. He lightly seals the edges and sprinkles a little more cheese on top.</p><p>"We need more than that," Sebastian says, reaching for the cheese.</p><p>"No, don't, you'll over-do it," Kurt warns him, but he doesn't completely manage to stop Sebastian. Whatever this monster-pizza is going to turn into, it won't be light-weight. He puts the baking sheet in the oven and looks at the mess in the kitchen. "Do you want to wash or dry?" he asks.</p><p>"Um…" Sebastian hedges, and Kurt rolls his eyes.</p><p>"Those who eat, help with the dishes. Hummel household rule no 1."</p><p>Sebastian sighs, reaching for a towel. "Drying it is."</p><p>"Don't act like your mom never made you do dishes," Kurt says, turning on the tap.</p><p>"Sure she did, but she's not here right now," Sebastian mumbles.</p><p>Kurt frowns, but decides not to push it. They can't live here for weeks, cook, and then leave everything as it is- Sebastian is smart enough to know that. He starts washing up, and Sebastian dutifully begins to dry it off. It reminds Kurt a bit of the times where he prepared meals with Blaine; they'd clean up together afterwards, usually singing a show tune or two. It had always made Kurt feel like getting a small glimpse of their future. The thought depresses him a little, and he focuses on scrubbing the cheese grater. Unaware of Kurt's gloomy thoughts, Sebastian starts to hum a melody Kurt vaguely recognizes from the beach.</p><p>Soon, the kitchen begins to smell of baking pizza and melted cheese, and it lightens Kurt's mood a lot. Sebastian keeps walking up to the oven to peek through the window, delighted to see the calzone puff up and grow huge as the dough rises. His excitement cheers Kurt up again too, and by the time the pizza is ready he is feeling a bit more grounded again.</p><p>"You saved it! This looks even better than regular pizza," Sebastian says eagerly, and Kurt smiles warmly, awarding a few extra points to replace the ones Sebastian had lost in his head for balking at the dishes- <em>and he really needs to stop doing that, making pros and cons and comparing to his ex,</em> but it's it's the only relatable experience he has, so it might take a little longer for him to stop.</p><p>They open a bottle of red wine and cut open the calzone to share it. Thick, cheesy goodness pours out, making Kurt's mouth water. It is every bit as delicious as it looks, even if Kurt can't have more than a quarter before he feels full. He watches as Sebastian devours his half, and then eyes Kurt's left-overs. "Are you sure you don't want that anymore?" he asks.</p><p>Kurt nods. "I'm sure."</p><p>"Why? Are you afraid you'll get fat?" Sebastian jokes, sliding the last quarter onto his plate.</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. "No, I'm not." He thinks of the buttered toast Sebastian likes for breakfast and shrugs awkwardly. He can't help but flash back to the magazines he read about nutrition and low-cholesterol cooking, and suddenly, he blurts it out:</p><p>"My dad nearly died of a heart attack."</p><p>Sebastian stares at him, his pizza-laden fork hovering between his plate and his lips. "Shit," he lets out.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head, hiding his eyes behind his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong."</p><p>He lowers his hand and offers Sebastian an apologetic look. "It's just that, the doctor told him to watch his diet after that, and with only one parent left, I took that very seriously." He pauses. "I guess I just internalized the message a little too well."</p><p>Being on the cheerleading squad probably also didn't help, and even within Glee, the guys would have on and off phases of worrying about their food intake- though they were less concerned with cardiovascular disease and more with having great abs to get the girls. Kurt shrugs awkwardly.</p><p>Sebastian lowers his fork and considers his plate pensively. "I get that," he finally says. "He's ok now, though, right? Your dad?"</p><p>Kurt swallows the lump in his throat and nods. He flaps his hand a little, fanning air to his face. "Sorry," he says again, feeling childish. He doesn't even know why it has suddenly hit him like this- he's had his share of greasy pizza with Finn and Puck without tearing up and making a fool out of himself- but maybe the whole atmosphere of being in Sebastian's family home is making him miss his dad a little more than he expected.</p><p>"Don't be," Sebastian says. "You and your dad are close. That's a good thing. And so is watching your own health." He puts his fork down and pushes his plate away. "Do you want to watch Shrek tonight?"</p><p>The unexpected change of topic makes Kurt smile, and when he sees the light in Sebastian's eyes, he realizes that was his boyfriend's intention. A surge of gratitude makes him feel warm all over- somehow he had still been waiting for the punchline, an echo of the way they used to treat each other. Every absence of it pushes that noise a little further to the background. "I'd love to," he says.</p><p>*****</p><p>The advantage of watching a movie you've already seen a dozen times is that you can zap in and out of it without losing the plot or missing your favorite jokes. Kurt uses this to his advantage when they put <em>Shrek </em>on and spends most of the time watching Sebastian's reactions to it instead of watching the film himself.</p><p>Sebastian laughs easily at the jokes, his eyes lighting up and his shoulders shaking. He is completely relaxed and open, all of his guards down completely and Kurt feels privileged that he gets to witness it – he feels like this is a side of Sebastian hardly anyone has ever seen, except maybe his family.</p><p>They sit snuggled together again, which is easily becoming one of Kurt's favorite positions, and he actually manages to stay awake this time. Once or twice, Sebastian catches him looking. The first time, an unreadable expression crosses over his face and he cocks his head curiously. Kurt quickly smiles at him, feeling a little caught and shrugging, as if to say ‘I couldn't help myself'. Sebastian's expression softens into a fond smile before he turns back to the TV as another hilarious moment captures his attention. The second time their eyes meet, he just grins knowingly and kisses Kurt on the lips, scolding him without malice to pay attention to the film.</p><p>The brief press of their lips against each other, and sitting this close together, has Kurt's mind racing. He thinks back to earlier on the beach and the sunscreen, and wonders if tonight might be the night that they take it a step further. Kurt feels a little giddy, his mind jumping ahead to Sebastian's kisses and the feeling of his long body pressed against his. His earlier experiences with Sebastian's weight <em>on top</em> of him come back and suddenly he can't wait for bedtime.</p><p>By the time the end credits are rolling, all of the fairy tale creatures having finished their karaoke mashup, Kurt's body is practically crackling with electricity, and when Sebastian suggests it's time to go to bed, it takes every inch of his self-control to not launch himself to the bedroom and spread out on the bed in open invitation.</p><p>Instead, Kurt takes extra care with his evening grooming, making sure to floss thoroughly and wash his body down. He even contemplates having another shower – the one down under the house really isn't great- but then he realizes he's getting ahead of himself and knows that realistically the most he can hope for is second base. Still, the hope is <em>there</em>.</p><p>When he walks back into the bedroom, his body is a hive of energy; butterflies swirling in his stomach, – until he sees Sebastian has settled back against the headrest of the bed with his book in his lap. Disappointment threatens to overwhelm him, but Kurt squashes it down, choosing to not jump to conclusions. He had been in the bathroom a while so Sebastian might have just been keeping himself occupied.</p><p>"Hey," Kurt says quietly as he shuts the door behind him.</p><p>Sebastian looks up from his book and smiles at Kurt, "hey," he says softly. "Do you mind if I read a bit? It's finally getting somewhere in this chapter and I want to see how it pans out."</p><p>Kurt feels the disappointment break through the wall and he quickly tries to build it up again; he doesn't want to make Sebastian uncomfortable just because he can't control his body. He offers Sebastian a smile and climbs into bed, curling on his side facing his boyfriend and pulling the top sheet up under his chin.</p><p>"Of course not," he lies. "I know what it's like." That second part at least is true- he spent whole school nights reading the Twilight novels and after that, consuming every bit of fanfiction of his favorite characters he could find- but that was when he slept alone, under his dad's roof. Somehow he had expected that here, alone at a private beach, making out with his boyfriend would be more alluring than the printed page. Especially to a boy who used to move heaven and earth to get laid, including (but not limited to) lying to his entire family.</p><p>Sebastian smiles at him and turns his eyes back to his book. Kurt watches him for a while, a million thoughts swimming around his head.</p><p><em>Is it me?</em> Kurt can't help but wonder a little bitterly. <em>Did I do something wrong today to turn him off? Is he angry with me? Did I take too long in the bathroom? </em></p><p>He can't solve this puzzle and Sebastian is not giving him any hints. "Goodnight, Sebastian," he says softly, hoping his voice sounds more sleepy than sad.</p><p>"Goodnight, Kurt," Sebastian replies, and for a moment, Kurt thinks that's all he'll get. But then Sebastian closes his book, using his finger as a bookmark, and he leans down with a smile. "A goodnight kiss?" he asks. Kurt nods quickly and kisses his lips, but as he pushes in for more, Sebastian sits up again.</p><p>"Sorry," he whispers. "I really want to finish this."</p><p>"Sure," Kurt breathes, squashing down the questions racing through his mind. He lies back and rolls to his other side, facing away from Sebastian, and tries to sleep. He can't, but by the time Sebastian puts his book away, he doesn't dare turn around again, and he pretends to be asleep until finally, he is.</p><p>*****</p><p>A loud crash reverberates around the room and Kurt is torn from his sleep. His eyes fly open and he sits up. "What was <em>that?"</em> he lets out, his sleep-muddled brain going instantly to burglars, earthquakes and <em>monsters.</em></p><p>The room is suddenly as bright as day and he turns to glance at Sebastian, his eyes are wide and blinking owlishly back at Kurt. Another loud crash sounds and Kurt can feel the house vibrating under the intensity of it. Sebastian's face breaks out into a large grin, his eyes twinkling with excitement.</p><p>"It's a thunderstorm!" he says gleefully. "Come on, let's go." He sits up in bed suddenly and throws off the covers.</p><p>"Go? Go <em>where?"</em> Kurt asks, confused, his brain still not fully awake.</p><p>"Outside," Sebastian says as if it's the most natural thing in the world, and he's already out of bed and throwing open the French Doors to their balcony. Confused, Kurt stumbles out of bed, shivering a little as the cold night air creeps in, the wind whipping the drapes around furiously.</p><p>He bends down over his suitcase, teeth chattering a little both from the cold and the unexpected wake-ness his body is currently experiencing, and rummages around for a jacket.</p><p>"Kurt," Sebastian calls exasperatedly. "You're missing it."</p><p>Kurt grumbles to himself and, unable to locate a jacket, settles for his wool poncho wrap instead. He wraps it tightly around himself and slips on his slippers before following Sebastian out onto the balcony.</p><p>"Are you sure it's safe?" he calls over the loud rumbling of thunder, staying close to the door. <em>At least it's not raining.</em></p><p>"Of course!" Sebastian says, turning around to offer his hand. "It's way out at sea and we have a lightning rod on the roof. Come on, the view is amazing."</p><p>Kurt sighs and pulls the door closed, hoping the mosquitos have settled down for the night because of the storm but not wanting to risk it just in case, and steps out further on to the balcony until he stands shoulder to shoulder with Sebastian against the wooden balustrade. They look out to sea where the storm is raging.</p><p>The water is swirling menacingly under the wind, huge swells and lips rolling around in the distance and the waves crashing on the sand moving closer and closer up the beach. Kurt glances to his right to look at Sebastian. He feels his heart skip a beat, seeing the wild, exhilarated look in his eyes as he looks at the sky expectantly.</p><p>Another burst of light illuminates the sky and Kurt gasps. He'd been expecting a simple flash of black and white (like the thunderstorms they sometimes get back home) but it comes crashing down, forked and magnificent, tearing through the clouds and ripping the sky apart. The branches stretch through the inkinesss of the night, lighting it up in an amazing palette of colors. There's a deep orange stretching out along the horizon, pinks and lilacs around the forks, fading to dark purples and blues against the clouds. It winks out and lights up again, pulsing like a strobe light at the club.</p><p>"Wow," he whispers breathlessly.</p><p>"I know," Sebastian whispers, understanding Kurt's thoughts before he can articulate them. It beats the sunset by miles.</p><p>Thunder crashes again, and Kurt feels it reverberate in his chest. The glass in the window front trembles.</p><p>They watch the spectacle of nature in awe. No words are needed- they simply stand and stare at the show, quiet and impressed. After a while, Kurt notices Sebastian shudder beside him, and he realizes his boyfriend is only wearing his sleep shirt and boxer shorts. Without thinking too much about the way they left things before going to sleep, Kurt steps behind him and wraps his poncho around the both of them, covering Sebastian's chilled arms with his own and warming him with his body heat. He hooks his chin over Sebastian's shoulder to look out over the sea.</p><p>"Is this something you, Liv and Julian did together too?" he asks conversationally in the lull between thunderbolts, his mouth close to Sebastian's ear.</p><p>"No."</p><p>Sebastian pauses. "I used to sleep through everything as a kid. I'd be the only one feeling awake in the morning when everyone was complaining about the noise of the storms. But since I came back from Paris-" A flash of lightning brightens the sky.</p><p>"Sometimes I have trouble sleeping," he says, changing course mid-sentence. "And I come out here when everyone else is asleep."</p><p>The thunder rumbles, and Kurt thinks about Sebastian standing out here alone and freezing. He thinks about his talk with Julian in the car, and how Sebastian uses distance and solitude to protect himself. He thinks about <em>sharing</em>, and opening up, and he feels honored that Sebastian has let him in behind his walls to witness this.</p><p>"Thank you for showing me," he says softly.</p><p>Sebastian says nothing, but after a moment, his hand comes up and clasps Kurt's arm, pulling him closer against his back.</p><p>They watch the storm until it dies down and it starts to rain. "Let's go back inside," Kurt whispers, and Sebastian nods. Inside it feels warmer than before, and Kurt drapes his poncho over his suitcase. Sebastian sits down on the bed and seems to be watching the window. Kurt crawls under the sheet and waits. He feels like something has changed between them outside, but he isn't yet sure what, so he remains quiet whilst Sebastian processes his thoughts.</p><p>Aided by the darkness, his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain, Sebastian speaks.</p><p>"I'm sorry about before," he starts. "I know you were disappointed that I wanted to read."</p><p>Kurt breathes in sharply. "Like I said, I know what it's like to be engrossed-"</p><p>"It wasn't about the book." Sebastian cuts him off. "I needed some space."</p><p><em>Oh</em>. Kurt hugs the sheets a little closer around his shoulders, gathering up as many layers as he can, and braces himself. <em>Here it comes.</em></p><p>Sebastian takes a deep breath and lets it out on a sigh. "I can't trust myself around you-" he says, just as Kurt adds: "Did I do something wrong?"</p><p>Sebastian turns to face him in the dark. Kurt can see the contours of his face, and the reflection from what little light there is in the room, gleaming in his eyes.</p><p>"<em>No</em>, Kurt," he says urgently. "You didn't do anything wrong!" He lets out another frustrated sigh. "It's just that- we agreed to wait until the moment was right, and yet-" He shakes his head.</p><p>"Today, when I was touching you, all I wanted was to take you right there in the sand, all of our promises be damned. And then when you were taking a picture of your castle, down on your knees with your ass up in the air- you have no idea how badly-"</p><p>"Actually, I think I do," Kurt cuts him off. "Do you think <em>I</em> wasn't tempted? You saw what it did to me when you put sunscreen on my back. I'm not a saint, Bas. I have fantasies, too."</p><p>"Yeah, but- you don't understand," Sebastian pleads. "I don't want it to be like that. I don't want to go on auto-pilot. Not with you. And if I just let go and do what I always do, that's what will happen." He looks at Kurt, desperate for him to understand. "I want to be <em>with</em> you, Kurt. I don't want to be alone anymore."</p><p>Kurt is stunned into silence. At first, it is hard for him to grasp, because how can he really be alone if it takes <em>two</em> people to have sex? But then, slowly, he begins to understand.</p><p>Sebastian, who doesn't kiss or hold hands or connects in those other small ways that couples do; who accepts the company of guys like Maxwell because they are <em>there</em> and offering; who is fine with getting off in the backseat of a car and stumbling out when he's done, who does not let boys stay over - to him, sex is a solitary act; an accomplishment.</p><p>Maybe it's all he's ever known; the adrenaline rush of getting what he wants, of taking it where ever he can. Among his peers, he is celebrated for it. Kurt's heart breaks a little again, not for the first time wishing better friends on Sebastian, a social circle in which he is not measured by the tally on his bedpost or the attractiveness of his body.</p><p>It couldn't have been more different for Kurt, who has always had this other way of connecting with Blaine, of feeling close to him before their bodies ever did - or at least, until Blaine broke the news to him about their breakup. He came to learn a little bit about going on auto-pilot since then- going through the perfunctory motions of their relationship as they counted down to its inevitable end, and having sex became something Kurt enjoyed on a superficial level, less on a spiritual one, because Blaine was leaving, going, gone and the process of letting go had already started- but before all of that? Before <em>KurtandBlaine</em> ended, there had been communication and love. Togetherness.</p><p>What Sebastian is begging him for now is the chance to have that too.</p><p>They have been close to what Sebastian calls ‘auto-pilot' several times now; and always, there was alcohol involved, or competition, challenge, something to prove, or simply lust overriding anything and everything. And he had always held back, because he finally wants more - not just for Kurt, but for himself too.</p><p>"You're not alone," Kurt says, releasing the bed sheets and sitting up so that they're on an even level. He reaches out through the darkness to take Sebastian's hand, lacing their fingers together, hoping to confirm his promise through touch as well as words. He needs Sebastian to know that he means it. "I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere."</p><p>Sebastian squeezes his hand, almost like he's clinging on for dear life, scared that Kurt will judge him for this revelation, and looking like he is not quite yet ready to believe what he's hearing.</p><p>"I promise, Bas," Kurt says as reassuringly as he can. "It doesn't matter to me how fast or slow we go, not really."</p><p>"But earlier-"</p><p>"Earlier I was disappointed, yes," he confirms, not wanting to lie. "But that doesn't mean I'm not still here or that I'm going to lose interest."</p><p>Sebastian doesn't reply right away and Kurt can practically hear his brain whirling around while he processes Kurt's words. Eventually he releases a breath and his shoulders deflate. "You've been saying that for a while," he says quietly. "I guess it's just taking my brain a while to catch up."</p><p>"I get that," Kurt says quietly. He thinks about how his own brain keeps playing tricks on him when it comes to Sebastian; how he keeps half-expecting a mean quip or joke about his appearance or mannerisms and then the whiplash when it doesn't come.</p><p>"Part of me still expects you to make fun of me if I say or do something ‘Femme'," he admits. "It wasn't so long ago that the only way we could communicate was through mutually insulting each other, and it's like part of my brain still expects that, despite me knowing that you're <em>not</em> that person anymore. You stopped being him a long time ago."</p><p>He feels more than hears Sebastian's intake of air at his words and tightens his grip. He is relieved when he feels the mirrored pressure returned.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Kurt," he says quietly.</p><p>"I know, and…I know I'm not exactly innocent when it comes to the things I've said or thought about you in the past so…I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just want you to know that you're <em>really</em> not alone in this dance." He looks up into Sebastian's eyes and smiles weakly.</p><p>Sebastian's smile is fond, and a little relieved. "So…now what?" he asks.</p><p>"Whatever we want," Kurt says quietly. "There's no set timeline or official rule book we have to follow. I think we've been doing okay up until now. So what if we both got a little horny today? It was actually nice to know it's not just <em>me </em>– I'd be worried if it was. But just because our bodies want it, doesn't mean we have to go from 0 – 60 in 4 seconds like your Mustang."</p><p>Sebastian laughs and his grin is wide and honest.</p><p>"I mean it Bas, you don't give yourself enough credit," Kurt continues. "I know there's more to you than what you want your friends to believe." He pauses. "Or your brother."</p><p>"You really think so?" Sebastian asks, his grin falling. A wave of vulnerability visibly washes over him.</p><p>"I know so," Kurt assures him. "We have all the time in the world and we can build up to it. Maybe instead of diving right into the deep end, we can stick to first base? And build up from there. If you start feeling disconnected at any point, we'll stop and work through it."</p><p>"Is that what couples do?" Sebastian whispers.</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I mean, I'm not exactly an expert, but…it's what I would like to do with you. And we're a couple. So, yeah."</p><p>Sebastian nods, looking down at their joint hands. They're sitting facing each other now, cross-legged in the center of the bed with their knees pressed together gently. "Okay," he agrees quietly. "I can do that."</p><p>Smiling softly, Kurt releases one of Sebastian's hands to reach up and brush back the hair off of Sebastian's forehead. "Okay," he whispers back.</p><p>Sebastian moves towards him in the dark and presses his warm lips gently against Kurt's own. Kurt sighs and returns the pressure, his hand curling around the back of Sebastian's head to draw him in a little. They break the kiss and press their foreheads together.</p><p>"Thank you," Sebastian says quietly. Kurt kisses him again.</p><p>Slowly, without breaking contact, they move to lie down on the bed, sharing the middle space now instead of two separate sides. They exchange a few more kisses before settling down together to get a few more hours of sleep. Kurt lies on his back, arms wrapped protectively around Sebastian, who has his head tucked up under Kurt's chin and is hugging his chest tightly.</p><p>Through a gap in the blinds Kurt can see dawn just start to break over the horizon, but there's still time to sleep and let all of this sink in.</p><p>Later, all of this will seem like a strange dream; it will be easy to forget there was a time before <em>KurtandSebastian</em>. But all beginnings are hard, and they have only just begun to uncover what they'll need to overcome and leave behind to become <em>them</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: SilverGrayMauve; thank you for your consistent support and feedback over the last 2 and a half years. We both always look forward to your comments because you’re so thoughtful with your words and it’s always fun to see which parts of our fics you like the best. We can’t wait to hear what parts of ADITO may speak to you! Thank you as well, for all of your support over the past couple of months as we raved and ranted about this super-secret project &lt;3.</p><p>CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains a brief nc-17 scene.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ooh pancakes!" Sebastian says happily when he walks into the kitchen the next morning. Kurt turns away from the frying pan to smile at him and Sebastian steps up to kiss him good morning, his hand lingering at the small of Kurt's back, stroking him gently. "They smell delicious."</p><p>Kurt grins. "I thought maybe we should have something warm this morning, what with the weather and everything." He turns to look out of the large window.</p><p>The rain that drifted in after the storm last night has persisted into today, the sky is dark with clouds, the rain is coming down in sheets rather than droplets and the wind is pushing it into the side of the house. Kurt is infinitely glad that the window panes are so thick; being inside with Sebastian and the sweet scent of pancakes cooking on the stove makes it feel cozy and safe.</p><p>After breakfast, Sebastian adds to the cozy atmosphere by lighting the fire and they curl up together on the large corner sofa with a blanket, making the most of the Smythe's cable TV package, complete with movie channels. Kurt's spirits soar when he spots the classic Audrey Hepburn movie <em>Funny Face</em> and is shocked when Sebastian admits he's never seen it.</p><p>"I grew up with <em>Julian</em>," Sebastian reminds him. "I grew up watching <em>Terminator</em> and <em>Jurassic Park</em> – Olivia might have had something like it on in the background but I was always more interested in what Jules was doing."</p><p>Kurt hums. "I think you'd like it, it's set in Paris, and it's a musical." He smiles at Sebastian and widens his eyes pleadingly, testing out his best puppy look. He can see the moment Sebastian relents and his smile stretches to a grin.</p><p>"Fine, we can watch it," Sebastian concedes.</p><p>Kurt bounces in his seat and kisses Sebastian on the cheek.</p><p>"It's not black and white is it?" Sebastian adds with a smirk as he selects the film to watch.</p><p>"No," Kurt says rolling his eyes and snuggling down to rest his head on Sebastian's shoulder.</p><p>The opening credits start rolling and Kurt sighs happily as the familiar music starts to play. "They don't make films like this anymore," he says with a sigh.</p><p>"Maybe there's a reason for that," Sebastian says. "Oooof!" he groans as Kurt hits him lightly on the chest and he chuckles. "Sorry, babe."</p><p>They watch the opening scenes in silence. It's been a while since Kurt watched it, but as he watches the girls on screen fuss around after Mrs Prescott, he suddenly thinks of Miranda Priestly in <em>The Devil Wears Prada</em> and grins. That's another film he'd love to rewatch.</p><p>Sebastian's reaction to the scene in the bookstore is definitely something that Kurt should have expected.</p><p>"You can't treat books like that!" he exclaims as the set designers start messing up the books and throwing them on the floor. "God, put them back where you found them!"</p><p>Kurt can't help but grin at his indignation, pleased that Sebastian is getting into the movie.</p><p>"Eww," Sebastian says a little while later, as Fred kisses Audrey on the ladders. "He must be at least 30 years older than her! So gross, and he didn't even ask-"</p><p>"Bas," Kurt admonishes. "Just watch the film."</p><p>Sebastian sighs and falls silent, pulling Kurt closer to him and kissing him on the forehead.</p><p>As Audrey starts to sing on screen, Kurt can't help but listen to the words and think of how strongly they apply to Sebastian.</p><p>
  <em>I was taught that I ought</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not expose my inner senses</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Had no plan for a man;</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was full of self-defences</em>
</p><p>If they didn't describe his boyfriend perfectly, Kurt didn't know what did. Kurt hums a long to the song quietly, not giving into the urge to sing just yet as the uniqueness of Audrey's voice is something that he feels should be honoured. It catches him by surprise therefore, when it's Sebastian who starts to sing.</p><p>"<em>Oh, I feel like I could melt,"</em> his smooth baritone voice is calm and soft. <em>"I know how Columbus felt, finding another world."</em></p><p>Kurt blinks, turning to look at Sebastian.<em>"</em></p><p><em>Can I trust how I feel?"</em> Sebastian continues. "<em>Is this my Achilles heel? Look at me: I'm all at sea."</em></p><p><em>"How long has this been going on?" </em>Kurt joins him on the last line of the verse and Sebastian startles, blushing a little and avoids Kurt's gaze. Kurt reaches for the remote and presses pause.</p><p>"Never seen it before huh?" Kurt grins, choosing to not use the moment to delve deeper into why Sebastian chose <em>that </em>part of the song to sing out loud.</p><p>Sebastian bites his lip and continues to avoid looking at him. Kurt doesn't push, just waits patiently while Sebastian pulls himself back from the brink.</p><p>"Fine," he says after a while. "You caught me. I've seen it." He shrugs. "I've actually seen a lot of these films." He looks at the still screen.</p><p>"Liv loves them, and while Julian boarded at Dalton for all four years that he was there, Liv was home during the week because she was only in day school at Crawford, and we used to sit up in her bedroom watching our way through all of the classics. My <em>favorite </em>film is probably <em>Singing In The Rain</em> - it's what made me want to do tap when I was a kid. I wanted to be the next Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly." he scoffs at himself a little.</p><p>"Why didn't you say this the other day when I asked you what your favorite film was?" Kurt asks quietly.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs, drawing out the silence before speaking. "Whenever Julian came home for a weekend or the holidays, he'd tease me for liking that girly stuff and would drag me into his room to watch ‘real movies'."</p><p>Kurt makes a noise in the back of his throat. "Did you think <em>I </em>would tease you, too?" he asks.</p><p>If there was ever anyone <em>less </em>likely to tease someone for girly things, Kurt would like to meet them.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs again. "Not really. I'm just...used to not sharing that part of myself."</p><p>"I want to know these things about you," Kurt insists. "It's nice to know we have stuff like this in common. I want to know what you <em>really </em>like, not what you think makes you sound cooler or gives you more ‘street cred'."</p><p>"I did like Julian's films too, though," Sebastian says."They made me feel grown up, you know? He'd put on PG-13 rated films when I was 8 or 9 and, some of them might have scared me a little - but I got to hang with my big brother and eat junk food." He shrugs like it's no big deal, but it <em>is</em> to Kurt.</p><p>"I get that," he admits.</p><p>Sebastian offers him a tentative smile. "I'm sorry. It's...a force of habit."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head dismissively.</p><p>"Don't worry about it. But you know, It is possible to like more than one genre. I actually quite like old western films, Clint Eastwood and stuff."</p><p>Sebastian raises an eyebrow at him and Kurt shrugs. "My dad likes them, and with it just being the two of us when I was growing up there was a lot of compromise. He suffered through the musicals, and I put up with Westerns, James Bond and <em>Fast and Furious</em>."</p><p>"<em>Fast and Furious </em>films are amazing!" Sebastian agrees. "Who's your favourite Bond?"</p><p>"Gotta be Pierce Brosnan, I know you're <em>supposed</em> to say Sean Connery. But <em>Die Another Day</em> is such a great film."</p><p>"I like <em>Live and Let Die,</em>" Sebastian admits. "Though, Daniel Craig is a hard second."</p><p>"He's a <em>hard</em> something," Kurt agrees and Sebastian laughs. The tension between them is broken and they just sit and look at each other grinning for a while. Kurt feels a warm glow spread through him that has nothing to do with the fire.</p><p>"More Audrey?" he asks.</p><p>"Yes, please," Sebastian agrees.</p><p>*****</p><p>They spend the rest of the day curled up together watching movies. After Sebastian's admission that it's his favorite, Kurt insists they watch <em>Singing in the Rain</em>. The storm rages around them, battering the house and Kurt thinks of the cinematic poetry of the whole thing.</p><p>They decide to order in for dinner. Kurt feels a little bad about making the delivery person go out in the bad weather, but he's feeling so content in their little cocoon that he honestly does not feel like breaking away from that to cook.</p><p>They settle for Chinese and move on to something more recent. "<em>Twilight</em>: <em>Eclipse...</em>really?" Sebastian grumbles when he gets back to the sofa with their food.</p><p>"It's great and I thought we were done pretending to hate something for show?" Kurt reminds him. "I know you're on Team Jacob, and he has his chest out for eighty percent of this movie."</p><p>Sebastian sighs and sets the take-out down on the coffee table. "Fine, just...don't tell Jules okay? Or, if you do, I did not agree to this voluntarily."</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes but smiles fondly. "Your secret is safe with me, Mr Astaire."</p><p>*****</p><p>Kurt looks at his reflection in the mirror the next morning and smiles as he thinks back over the previous day; after dinner Sebastian broke out the bag of marshmallows and they sat and toasted them over the open fire, talking and sharing more stories about their childhood.</p><p>As Kurt puts away his toothbrush, he spots the bottle of lube on the shelf and thinks that he must remember to thank Julian when he sees him - not for the ridiculous sex supplies or the implication that that's all they're going to be doing; but for the whole idea of the beach house and giving them this opportunity to get to know each other. He knows that that really is all that Julian wanted- the other stuff is all just a joke meant to save face, something that Kurt can now see is another Smythe trait. He wonders idly if part of it comes from growing up in the society that they did.</p><p>The storm broke overnight and by the time the sun rose this morning the clouds had disappeared, and the sun is back in earnest, promising another hot summer's day.</p><p>Over breakfast, they had decided (or rather, Sebastian had) to build another sand castle, now that he was ‘on a roll', to practise for when Julian joined them. He had gotten it into his head to make a replica of the Notre Dame (Sandy Dame?) next, with support beams, arches and a large rose window, and had plundered the cutlery and cooking utensils drawer for a tool to carve the finer details with. He had finally settled on a stainless steel seafood pick, seeing as they weren't going to use those for crab any time soon anyway.</p><p>Kurt's eyes go over his outfit. His tomato-stained swim shorts have given up the ghost, the synthetic material really not lending itself to keeping stains off. His t-shirt thankfully is now stain-free and hanging up in the laundry room over the drying rack. Seeing his dilemma over only having his brother's shorts left, Sebastian has given Kurt a pair of his own to wear. They look good on him, and he knows his boyfriend agrees, going by the way his eyes darkened at the sight of him wearing them.</p><p>He runs a hand through his hair, marvelling a little at how little care it has needed the past few days. He had expected a lot worse with the salt water.</p><p>"Babe, you know you really don't need to style your hair if we're going swimming on a private beach."</p><p>Sebastian has apparently got bored of waiting for him in the living room and has decided instead to hunt Kurt down.</p><p>"I'm <em>not,"</em> he argues. "I literally just-" He rounds on Sebastian mid-sentence and notices Sebastian's shoulders shaking in silent laughter and smirking widely. <em>He looks far too happy with himself,</em> Kurt thinks. He rolls his eyes and turns back to the mirror. "Very funny."</p><p>"I thought so, yes." Sebastian preens and Kurt shakes his head.</p><p>Sebastian is standing in the doorway, or rather: hanging from it. He has hooked his fingers around the top of the door frame and holds himself up by his arms, swaying a little. It is both alluring and irritating; somehow it seems to imply a casual <em>ownership</em> of the place, a familiarity from having grown up here. It reminds Kurt that they are at <em>his</em> place. It also looks like he is drawing attention to the fact that he is the tallest of the two of them like that <em>means</em> something- but at the same time (and this is very, very attractive) he is also displaying a lot of skin Kurt really, really wants to run his hands (and lips, and tongue) over. He isn't sure if he's just imagining it, but does his boyfriend have even <em>more</em> freckles today?</p><p>A cooler bag with drinks and two rolled up towels are sitting on the floor by Sebastian's feet.</p><p>"Are you ready to go?" Sebastian asks, neutrally, without any implied <em>Kurt-is-a-girl-because-he-does-haircare</em> jokes.</p><p>Kurt mentally tells himself off. Sebastian doesn't <em>do</em> that anymore and Kurt needs to <em>stop</em> expecting it to happen - and for filling in the jokes in his head. It's just difficult, after years and years of every male person in his household or at school making fun of him for his grooming habits- it's like a mental bruise, and it still hurts when pressed.</p><p>Kurt nods and Sebastian pushes away from the frame to stalk up to him. He reaches past Kurt and takes the bottle of sunscreen from the sink, where Kurt had left it after applying the protection to his face, arms and chest.</p><p>"We'll probably need this," he says, his voice low and his eyes dark with- what? Memory? Promise? Kurt tries not to get his hopes up. After their talk the other night, he's more determined than ever to follow Sebastian's lead. If nothing else, he wouldn't mind another of those amazing back rubs. He nods wordlessly.</p><p>As they walk down to the beach, Kurt glances at Sebastian from the side, still wondering what Sebastian meant. They stop by the shed to collect the other sand tools and umbrella from the shed, and share the burden of carrying everything between them; Kurt takes the cooler and towels so that Sebastian can take the other stuff.</p><p>They put the towels down, and from the folds, Kurt's bottle of sunscreen falls out. With it, something unspoken is raised up between them again. <em>Sebastian </em>wanted to take it, Kurt reminds himself. Which means he wants to use it, right? But what does that <em>mean?</em> Does he just want to make sure Kurt doesn't get more sunburned, or does he want to touch him again?</p><p>Despite his resolve, Kurt can't help but let his mind wander to the last time. He can still almost feel the tracks of Sebastian's fingers on his skin, the way they had traced muscle and bone, mapping him out in an almost worshipful caress. He also remembers Sebastian's fingertips slipping under his trunks, just far enough to set his senses on fire and yet not far enough by far- he wanted those fingers to pull his trunks down completely, to cup and squeeze, to massage and pull apart and <em>breach</em>. He looks at Sebastian, who looks vaguely fidgety, his sandcastle-building tools forgotten in the sand. He is holding the bottle of screen screen.</p><p>"Do you, um, wanna do me first?" his boyfriend suggests.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>Sebastian's words immediately call up visions of them in the sand- only this time their roles reversed, and Kurt shakes his head to dispel <em>that</em> thought right away. <em>So much for your resolve, Kurt,</em> he snaps at himself. <em>Why do you have to be such a horny teenager?</em></p><p>He looks up at Sebastian with wide eyes, feeling guilty, but Sebastian's eyes are wide as well and there's a vulnerability to the way he's holding out the white bottle. Kurt feels his body calm down as he understands what Sebastian's words mean: it's an invitation to touch him, maybe in the way he has touched him yesterday.</p><p>Sebastian is letting him in.</p><p>"Yes," he breathes out, suddenly nervous. "Okay."</p><p>Sebastian nods and presses the bottle into Kurt's hands, his expression difficult to read. The curve in the corners of his mouth seem like it can go either way- into a smirky leer or a more vulnerable, open smile- and like not even <em>he</em> is quite sure which to choose. Instead of making up his mind, Sebastian spreads out one of the towels and lies down on his front, pillowing his head on his arms.</p><p><em>Okay.</em> Seeing that gorgeous long body stretched out in front of him in the sand brings Kurt right back to his fantasies and he swallows hard. He really, really wants this.</p><p>He kneels down next to Sebastian, the sand warm under his knees. With slightly trembling hands, Kurt squirts some lotion into his palm and rubs his hands together before placing them at the nape of Sebastian's neck. He slides them down his shoulders, spreading a thin layer of sunscreen on Sebastian's tanned skin, and repeats the motion to rub it into the skin, squeezing the muscles on his shoulders. Sebastian hums contentedly.</p><p>"You have really soft hands," he mumbles, and for the first time in Kurt's life, that doesn't sound like an insult.</p><p>"Thanks."</p><p>Kurt circles his thumbs over the space between his shoulder blades with what he hopes is a firm but comfortable pressure. He takes more lotion, warms it between his palms, and swipes his fingers down on either side of Sebastian's spine, alternating brushing his fingertips and the flat of his palms over the back of his ribcage and down his sides. Every now and then, Sebastian will shift, turning a little as if offering more surface to Kurt's hands. With regret, Kurt realizes he has already covered all of Sebastian's back in lotion by now- probably twice- but he really doesn't want to stop.</p><p>He sucks in his breath, traps his bottom lip between his teeth, and lets his hands venture lower. He runs his hands up Sebastian's calves and up his impossibly long, toned thighs. Sebastian moans, and the sound of it sends all of Kurt's blood rushing south. He rests his fingertips very lightly on the outside of Sebastian's shorts.</p><p>They don't have a very good track record of communicating, and maybe it's something Sebastian has never needed before (going on <em>auto-pilot</em>) but Kurt wants to be sure he is doing what they both want, so he hesitates a little, trying to gather up the nerve to ask.</p><p>Sebastian shifts to look over his shoulder at Kurt. His eyes are dark, darker than the nighttime ocean, and his bottom lip glistens, wet and a little swollen from where he has been biting it.</p><p>"Please don't stop," he says, his voice rough and a little breathy, and Kurt feels his insides tighten with need.</p><p>Feeling emboldened by Sebastian's encouragement, he straddles his legs and runs his hands up under the legs of his shorts as far as the fabric allows it, his oiled hands sliding over the skin with ease. His fingertips can just reach the top of his thighs. <em>Hello underbutt</em>, he thinks with a grin, <em>let's see if this is a thing for you too</em>.</p><p>He feels Sebastian shiver underneath his hands, his ass clenching a little as his hips grind down into the sand - <em>yes, it's a thing</em>. Sebastian makes a little sound in the back of his throat and Kurt suddenly wants to <em>taste</em> that sound, wants to hear him make it against his lips. He pulls his hands out of Sebastian's shorts and places them on the towel by Sebastian's sides instead, leaning over him until his chest rests on his boyfriend's back and his crotch nestles firmly against Sebastian's ass, and he kisses the back of his neck.</p><p>"Turn around," he whispers into Sebastian's ear, nudging him with a swirl of his hips, then pushes himself up to give Sebastian room to roll over. With a tormented groan, Sebastian obliges. As soon as he does, Kurt captures his mouth in a kiss, plundering his mouth with his tongue to compensate for everything he wants to do under Sebastian's shorts. Kissing is <em>them</em>, it's not auto-pilot, so that is where they should start before going any further.</p><p>Sebastian opens up under him, eagerly letting him past his lips to suck and bite at his tongue and lips, and his hands, idle and passive before, now reach for Kurt's hips. He pulls them close together, and Kurt feels him, his erection slotting against his own. He rolls his hips forward experimentally, earning himself a groan from the body beneath him.</p><p>"Touch me," Sebastian whispers against Kurt's lips, and then he is kissing him some more, clearly just as eager as Kurt to keep that familiar connection between them as they venture into new territory, somehow at the same time <em>finally</em> and <em>already</em>, and Kurt snakes one hand between their bodies. His palm is warm with a slick mixture of sunscreen and sweat, and he pushes it into the waistband of Sebastian's swim shorts and curls it around Sebastian's length. Sebastian's breathing goes shallow and starts to come in short, breathy pants. He nudges his hips up into Kurt's hand, making clear what he wants.</p><p>It has been so, <em>so</em> long since Kurt has done this, especially at this angle, and he shifts to the side, rolling off Sebastian a little to get a better grip. The position allows him to rut against Sebastian's hipbone, so it's a win for them both.</p><p>Keeping his lips firmly on Sebastian's, Kurt begins to move his hand, simply sliding up and down for now. Sebastian sighs, his breath pushing hot and wetly into Kurt's mouth, and he pumps his hips forward into the ring of Kurt's fingers. Kurt tightens his hand, splaying his fingers as he reaches the base to brush down over Sebastian's balls and back up, cupping the head to gather the moist sheen that has leaked out. It mixes with the lotion, giving Sebastian an even slicker hand to thrust into.</p><p>"Oh god, Kurt," he gasps, "that feels amazing." His mouth bites and sucks at Kurt's lips and his hands begin to wander from Kurt's hips to his trunks, cupping and squeezing him over the fabric before slipping inside and maneuvering his length out of the tight trunks. He tucks the cloth neatly under Kurt's balls, and with a flash of clarity Kurt crosses something off his bucket list: <em>#71 expose myself to nature.</em> He wasn't even sure what he was thinking writing that, possibly a nudist beach or a late night on a dark hotel balcony, but this feels amazing. Sebastian's hand feels even better.</p><p>His hand is not as slippery with sun lotion as Kurt's, but he is very sure of what he is doing, and it does not take long for Kurt to lose his rhythm with his own hand because what Sebastian is doing is so damn distracting. Most of all, apart from the touches and the thumb flicking over the ridge of his head and those long fingers overlapping- he is <em>looking.</em> At Kurt.</p><p>Kurt's previous experiences have always taken place under covers- either of darkness, or of literal covers; blankets, clothes. To be out here, in the open air, with a lover who is looking down at his dick like he has unwrapped it on christmas morning… is definitely new.</p><p>"You look amazing, babe," Sebastian whispers. "So gorgeous." Kurt moans and leans down to kiss him, tugging Sebastian's bottom lip between his teeth. The hand around him twists over his head and Kurt gasps; he's never felt so <em>wild.</em></p><p>They are both gripping each other now, moving in tandem, and Kurt feels his climax coming. He is curling his toes in the sand and jerking forward with his hips, wanting more, closer, tighter. He tries to give Sebastian the same- he seems to prefer <em>fast</em> over <em>tight</em> so Kurt's hand moves and moves- they are sticky with lotion and sweat and eagerness, and then Sebastian starts coming and Kurt follows closely behind, nearly choking with relief and joy. He buries his face in Sebastian's neck and just gasps, riding it out.</p><p>For a while, they lie half on top of each other, hands still trapped between their bodies, chests heaving. Kurt is aware of the wet skin underneath his mouth, of the stickiness dripping between them, of the sand that has stuck to any surface that accidentally trespassed the towel. He is aware, and he can't care less.</p><p>After a while, when their raging heartbeats and breathing have slowed, Sebastian murmurs: "Maybe we should go for a swim before starting Sandy Dame. It feels a little tacky to build a church with cum in my shorts."</p><p>Kurt snorts, nudging his chest to protest out of principle, but deep inside he has to admit it's kind of funny. "It just might be the right cement to keep the arches from falling," he whispers into Sebastian's ear, and his boyfriend barks out a laugh.</p><p>"Oh my god, that is <em>so</em> much worse!" he lets out. "You're terrible."</p><p>Kurt pushes himself up to look down at Sebastian. "What can I say?" he muses, grinning. "You bring out the worst in me."</p><p>"Julian would be proud," Sebastian says, and as soon as his name has passed his lips, Sebastian pauses. "Don't tell him, though," he adds, almost shy, and Kurt quickly shakes his head.</p><p>"I won't! This is just between us, Bas," he promises. "As much as your brother may want it, this-" and he reaches down to pull his swim trunks back over himself, "is something only you get to have."</p><p>Kurt knows it's the right thing, because Sebastian pulls him down in a kiss, expressing with lips and tongue and a stuttering breath all of that unspoken need for something of his own, that Julian cannot take away.</p><p>*****</p><p>They walk down to the water hand in hand and wade through the current until they're waist deep and duck under the water to wash themselves down. Kurt swims around for a bit, trying not to think about what he's swimming in - one of the reasons he's not ever been keen on the thought of swimming in the sea before this summer.</p><p>Once they're clean, they make their way back to the towels. Sebastian applies sunscreen to Kurt's back - no funny moves this time, just standard skin protection, and then gets to work on building his new sandcastle. Kurt settles back on the sand and watches him work, enjoying the sight of the muscles in his arms and back flex as he digs and builds. As he watches, Kurt's thoughts wander off. His orgasm high has faded and his mind starts circling around the same questions over and over.</p><p><em>What does this mean? Does it mean anything? Is this Sebastian's idea of starting slow, or had they somehow messed it up now after all? </em>Their talk the other day had set clear lines, had they now undone them all? He'd been trying so hard to ignore his body's urges and listen to Sebastian's request to take things slow, but one moment of weakness has broken that down. Where does it leave them now?</p><p>Kurt sighs and digs his feet into the sand, still slightly damp from the rain - though quickly drying in the heat of the midday sun. He feels they have made a few steps in the right direction, especially last night, so he assures himself that this is the right way: to just speak his mind.</p><p>"Sebastian?" he says, "can we talk for a bit?"</p><p>Sebastian looks up from the sand sculpture, and something must be showing on Kurt's face, because he lowers his tools right away and gets up, brushes the sand off his knees, and joins him on the towel. "Are you okay?" he asks.</p><p>Kurt nods. "I'm fine. I'm just...a little confused." He looks at Sebastian and takes his hand, turning it over in his his, stalling a little by brushing off dried building mud caked to his boyfriend's palm.</p><p><em>If only I could read fortunes, </em>he muses. <em>Does this line tell our future? Or does this fork mean a break-up, an end to this summer dalliance?</em> Sebastian's hand tightens around his, as if to stop him from that train of thought.</p><p>Kurt pushes on, knowing he can only silence his mind by asking for clarity.</p><p>"I guess I should be asking if <em>you're </em>okay?<em>"</em> he says. He looks up into Sebastian's eyes and sees confusion flicker across his face. He hurries to explain himself. "It's just, after our conversation the other night, I thought we'd decided we'd wait for...this level of physical intimacy."</p><p>He watches Sebastian's expression closely, and as he sees the beginning of worry, he quickly adds: "I don't mind what happened, it was great, and I really, <em>really</em> wanted it! I just," he pauses. "I guess I just want to know where we stand now? Because it's kind of a mixed signal and I don't want to mess it up by reading too much into it, or pushing you too far-"</p><p>"I wanted it too," Sebastian quickly assures him. "And it felt right." He looks up from their hands to look into Kurt's eyes. "It felt right with <em>you.</em>"</p><p>"Yes." Kurt realizes he knows what Sebastian means- this was far less about getting off than it was about trusting each other a little further. "It felt right for me too, with you."</p><p>"I still feel the same way I did Wednesday night," Sebastian continues, "but I also thought about what you said about building up to it." He looks into Kurt's eyes for a moment, before turning his eyes to the water.</p><p>"You said you're not a couple expert... but I have never even <em>been</em> part of a couple at all, so…I'm just trying to figure out what it all means for <em>us.</em>" He pauses and shrugs, his eyes coming back to rest on Kurt's.</p><p>"I guess it makes sense, if you have more time together than just one night, to take the time and figure out stuff like foreplay," Sebastian concludes.</p><p>"It does," Kurt agrees. "And I think, in the end, it helps to make that moment even better."</p><p>"Practise makes perfect?"</p><p>"Exactly." Kurt smiles. "So...are we good? Is this something you're okay with?"</p><p>"It is." Sebastian pauses, and he looks as if he's debating with himself whether or not to speak. Kurt nudges him with his foot.</p><p>"What is it?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs awkwardly. "I was just thinking...I know I am supposed to hate Blaine for being your first or whatever-"</p><p>Kurt wrinkles his nose, but before he can say anything about the artificial concept of virginity, Sebastian continues. "But I'm also sort of glad that the two of you had...whatever you had...for you to learn all of this. The <em>right</em> way to do things. I just hope I can live up to that."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. If he has realized anything the past few weeks, it's that there's more than one ‘right way'.</p><p>"I don't want a do-over of that relationship," he says firmly. "<em>We </em>get to decide what the right way is for <em>us</em>. And there's plenty I can learn from you, too."</p><p>A mixture of gratitude and acceptance shows in Sebastian's eyes - only just visible before his face breaks out in a leer. "I think so, too," he says, and Kurt's worries are relieved. He knows where they stand now, and he has come a little closer to understanding the complexity of Sebastian's mind. Also, that look in his boyfriend's eyes promises good things for his future.</p><p>Sebastian looks at his half-finished cathedral and curls his toes into the sand.</p><p>"Can I help you finish it?" Kurt offers, wanting him to know he can continue building it if he wants. "Or would I ruin it again? I don't want to stand in your way of a good score."</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "You can be the waterboy," he said, and hands him a bucket- this one has a bottom in it.</p><p>"Gee, <em>thanks</em>," Kurt replies, but walks to the sea without complaining. He is relieved that Sebastian is really okay with what they did, and that it wasn't just him pushing them forward.</p><p>If they wanted to practise arches, they get enough chances with the Sandy Dame. Sebastian insists that it won't be recognisable without the flying buttresses, and so they try to create that iconic look by carefully carving out thicker arches. After a few tries, Sebastian gets the hang of it and carves one after the other all around the nave. Kurt, who is in charge of the square towers in the front, can't help but stop every so often to look at his boyfriend, hunched over his artwork, his tongue trapped between his lips in concentration, carving fine lines in the drying sand with a seafood utensil. The rose windows turn out extra nice, and as a final touch, Kurt looks around until he finds a lumpy pebble to place on the roof, next to the stylized gargoyles. The whole building looks so beautiful, Kurt is not sure he'll be able to flatten it to the ground when they are done.</p><p>"Okay, here goes," Sebastian announces, and uploads pictures of their work into the family group chat. Kurt tries to peek over his shoulder, curious at the text messages going back and forth between the Smythes, but Sebastian quickly distracts him with a kiss. <em>This is so not fair, </em>Kurt thinks as he is kissing back, but then again maybe it's better not to see what they talk about. Kurt's half afraid there might be something about him in there- and half afraid there isn't. <em>When did I become so desperate to be a part of their lives? </em></p><p>When the first replies come in, Sebastian reads them out loud again.</p><p>
  <strong>MOM: DESIGN: 10, ORIGINALITY: 7, HEIGHT: 9, DETAILING: 10, EXECUTION: 9.5.</strong>
</p><p>He smiles.</p><p><strong>OLIVIA: ten extra points for Rockymodo</strong>.</p><p>Kurt beams. Adding the little hunchback had been his idea. "What does Julian say?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian smiles and looks down on his phone. His smile fades a little and he locks the screen.</p><p>"What?" Kurt asks.</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>"No, what did he say?" Kurt repeats, reaching for the hand that holds Sebastian's phone. Sebastian pulls it away and holds it up in the air where he can't reach it.</p><p>"It's just dumb, Kurt, forget about it," he says.</p><p>"Did he say the castle was stupid?" Kurt asks plainly.</p><p>"No," Sebastian says tersely, not volunteering any more information.</p><p>Kurt sighs and turns away. He knows Sebastian is just as stubborn as he is, so there's no point in pushing. Either he will decide to tell him, or he won't. (Later, he will realize this is the best way to handle these kinds of situations, because Sebastian does in fact want to share things, he is just still learning how).</p><p>"Julian writes: <em><strong>stop showing off and send a picture of Kurt in his swimwear</strong></em>," Sebastian admits quietly. Disappointment and resentment lace his tone and he scrolls through his phone.</p><p>Kurt presses his lips together and waits. He doesn't believe Olivia or Charlotte would let something like that pass, not in a group chat, but then he doesn't know for sure.</p><p>"He also apologizes and says it's the best sand castle he has ever seen," Sebastian adds.</p><p>"Did someone tell him off?" Kurt asks.</p><p>Sebastian slowly starts grinning, until his whole face lights up. "All of them did, even my dad and Brian," he says. "And Liv says his next castle score starts at -10."</p><p>"Then he'll need more than a pebble to beat us," Kurt jokes. With that, Sebastian can really smile again.</p><p>"Do you wanna do the honors?" he asks, nodding at the castle.</p><p>"No!" Kurt says. "Please, let's leave this one. You worked so hard on it. Let's just come back in the morning and see how much is left."</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "Okay. But I am taking this-" He bends down to pick up the pebble. "It looks like a good paperweight."</p><p>*****</p><p>They pack up their things early to give them time to shower and get ready before they head out for dinner. The pebble that Sebastian took from Sandy Dame is given a special place on his nightstand and Kurt can't stop smiling every time he catches sight of it.</p><p>"So what kind of place is <em>Rolande</em>?" Kurt asks conversationally as he combs his hair back and sprays it in place with hair spray. They haven't really talked about it yet and Kurt needs to plan what he is going to wear. Having unrestricted access to Sebastian's closet is actually <em>hindering</em> him on this occasion, because there is <em>too much</em> to choose from.</p><p>"The owners are French-American," Sebastian replies, pulling on a pair of black jeans. "They have pretty much all the specialties from around here like barbeque pork and seafood, but they also have traditional French cuisine. Their lamb is delicious. It's mom's favorite."</p><p>"And what's <em>your</em> favorite?" Kurt asks, smiling.</p><p>Sebastian smiles. "<em>Breton galettes.</em> They are amazing. We go there at least once every time we are here, it's a bit of a family tradition. Maybe we'll go again when the others get here, then we can have galettes <em>twice</em>." He grins happily.</p><p>Kurt knows he is blushing, but he can't help it. It's a Smythe family tradition, and <em>he</em> gets to take a part in it. It makes him feel warm and loved; accepted. They have been so welcoming right from the start; a stark contrast to Blaine's family.</p><p>"Are you secretly planning our wedding in your head?" Sebastian teases, now buttoning up a long sleeve teal shirt. "Because if you steal Olivia's thunder she will <em>never </em>let me hear the end of it."</p><p>"I am <em>not,</em>" Kurt says, resisting the urge to pout. "I am just happy your family thinks well enough of me to want to include me in it."</p><p>Sebastian pulls up a corner of his mouth in a sly grin. "They are all suckers for romance," he says delightedly. "Which we can definitely milk for Christmas. We could ask for matching cars. Or taking a trip somewhere, maybe skiing at Jasper-"</p><p>"Bas, stop," Kurt protests, putting his comb and hair spray down on the dresser. "It's sweet. And here you go ruining it."</p><p>His heart beats a little faster at the thought of going on another trip with Sebastian though- especially when he realizes this is the first time Sebastian has actually acknowledged that they have a future beyond the 25th of August; their expiration date. Christmas is <em>months </em>away.</p><p>"Christmas huh? Do you plan on keeping me around that long?" he asks, hoping it sounds more like a coy tease and less needy than it feels inside. He hasn't had any plans that didn't include a reunion with Blaine in a long time, and now that he notices what a huge gap that has left in his heart, he longs to fill it with new plans. With <em>KurtandSebastian</em>.</p><p>His boyfriend looks a little caught, and starts to fidget with his hands and drumming his heel on the floor, his leg bouncing up and down. "I just thought…" he starts, dragging out his words slowly and avoiding Kurt's eyes. "We might...stay together...after the wedding…? You said you didn't want the money anymore and-" He suddenly looks up at Kurt with wide eyes.</p><p>"Do you? Want to stay together?"</p><p>There's a hint of panic in his voice, and Kurt would tease him again if he didn't feel the same spike of adrenaline in his own chest.</p><p>"I want to try," he says honestly. There are still so many things to factor in- will he even end up going to New York if he defers? Can he afford it? He needs to find a pretty good job if he hopes to pay for rent <em>and</em> save up for NYADA tuition. If he has to stay in Ohio, and Sebastian goes to live- <em>wherever</em> he ends up going to college (yet another thing they haven't actually discussed because it wasn't on a need-to-know basis)- they would have to have a long-distance relationship; the very thing that destroyed his previous relationship.</p><p>Wherever Sebastian will end up going, Kurt knows that his accommodation will be exquisite, all expenses covered by his parents. Can they last through that? Will Kurt resent him for being able to live the way he does? Or will Sebastian break up with him preemptively like Blaine did?</p><p>Suddenly the words start spilling out of his mind, relaying his worries.</p><p>"But do <em>you</em>? It won't be easy when we start college because everything will be new and different, and we might not even end up in the same area, and maybe once you get to college you'll discover that there's so many more <em>people to do, things to see</em>-"</p><p>"Kurt, no-" Sebastian interrupts and walks towards him, his arms outstretched as if to embrace him, but Kurt steps back and pushes on.</p><p>"I'm serious, we need to be realistic about this. We might not even be in the same town next year - I still don't know where you're going and If it only takes you like, <em>nine days</em> to decide you want to move on, or that the long distance isn't worth it-"</p><p>"<em>Kurt.</em>"</p><p>The tone of Sebastian's voice stops him.</p><p>"I am not asking you what you think <em>I</em> may want," Sebastian says, his expression a little dark. "Even though the insinuation is a little offensive after all of this-" He gestures around at the house. "I am asking you what <em>you</em> want."</p><p>"I want <em>you,</em>" Kurt answers simply, because it's the only thing he <em>can</em> say.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>They stare at each other for a moment, both lost for words. It's not a declaration like in the movies- who the hell says ‘<em>I'll try</em>' to such a question, anyway? But ‘<em>okay</em>' isn't exactly peak romance either.</p><p>Yet it fits them somehow; they did enter into this thing for money and a cover for easy sex, and all the feelings came later. Maybe the romantic words will come later, too. For now, it's just important that they are communicating at all, to establish that they want to have a future, before they plan it with a white picket fence and rose bushes.</p><p>"Okay," Kurt echoes in a whisper, shifting closer and reaching for Sebastian's face with his hand, cupping his cheek. Sebastian leans in and very gently kisses his lips, breathing the words back to him, and maybe <em>okay</em> is kind of romantic in its own right.</p><p>*****</p><p>As they drive up to the restaurant, it almost feels like an anti-climax. Kurt had expected to be overwhelmed once again, bracing for that Cinderella moment that has become second nature while associating with the Smythes in Ohio. Their estate, their cars, their parties- everything is a sign of being in the 1%, and all Kurt can do is marvel and feel out of place. For the first time since their arrival at the beach house, Kurt has dressed up, adding a few layers in case he needs it to feel like he fits into Sebastian's world.</p><p>But <em>Rolande</em> turns out to be a proper family restaurant, with wooden panelling, rustic oak tables, red-and-white chequered curtains with matching tablecloths and a weekly menu written in chalk on a blackboard, and there isn't an overpolished silver spoon in sight. Kurt feels a little overdressed, but it is easy to imagine the Smythes all dining here, tables pushed together, red wine flowing, the ladies giggling; Julian's outrageous jokes and Greg's hearty laughter. It feels like a living room.</p><p>"Sebastian, my boy, have you come to break my daughter's heart?" a jovial man about Burt's age and posture says, coming up to them as he wipes his hands on a towel hanging over his shoulder. His accent is audible at every vowel, and Kurt assumes he is the French half of the French-American owners. "Your darling mother, my dear friend Charlotte, told me you would be bringing your love-" the man continues and beams at Kurt.</p><p>"My name is Guillaume Rolande, my wife and I own this establishment." He offers Kurt his hand. "I have known this boy and his family since he was a tiny baby- oh, the stories I could tell you!"</p><p>"Please, don't," Sebastian mumbles, looking a little flustered, and Kurt wonders if he is as hung up on the words ‘your love' as he is. Did Charlotte say it like that, or was it the romantic expression of Monsieur Rolande?</p><p>"Kurt Hummel," he introduces himself, shaking his hand. "You have a lovely place."</p><p>"Thank you so much! But I have to tell you, Kurt: Aurélie will <em>not</em> come to say hello to you," Guillaume teases and shakes his head a little, looking at Kurt. "What can you do? Her mother and I have tried to explain, but, ah! The heart wants what the heart wants!"</p><p>"You never told me you have a secret admirer," Kurt says, nudging Sebastian a little.</p><p>"One of many, I am sure," Guillaume says fondly. "but here, always alone, hmmm? We always ask, when will you bring a nice friend-" His eyes glitter. "And now, my daughter cries and cries…"</p><p>"I'm sorry," Kurt offers. "Unrequited love is tough."</p><p>"She will come around," Guillaume says, chuckling. "It's time she learns she can't have everything. God knows we spoil her enough."</p><p>He holds out his hand. "Please, choose a table, sit where you like, and I will tell the cook to start the <em>galettes</em>. Unless-" he looks at Kurt questioningly. "Of course I can bring a menu. It's just that young Mr Smythe here always-"</p><p>"I'll join him," Kurt says pleasantly. "After hearing so much about your galettes, I'll want to try them anyway, and Sebastian isn't very good at sharing." He winks conspiratorially and the man laughs.</p><p>"Something he and his siblings have in common!" he says. "And woe betide me if their ice cream desserts were not <em>exactly </em>the same size!"</p><p>"Oh dear, size envy too?" Kurt teases.</p><p>"That was ages ago!!" Sebastian protests.</p><p>"Last summer, I think, huh?" the restaurant owner jokes and shares a smile with Kurt.</p><p>Kurt likes him. The idea of him knowing their family so well that he knows their names and favorite dishes makes him feel warm inside, just as it had at the ice cream parlor. They order a bottle of wine to go with dinner and the man lights the candle on their table (‘young love, the atmosphere, so important') and then, they are alone in their little niche.</p><p>"So, Aurélie Rolande?" Kurt says.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs a little uncomfortably. "It's not my fault," he murmurs. "Because I was the youngest, they always made me sit at the kids' table with her. She's like a sister to me, but ever since she hit puberty it's been getting a little awkward."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "How old is she?"</p><p>Sebastian cocks his head, his eyes glazing a little as he considers it. "She should be about fifteen now," he muses. His face hardens a bit. "Old enough to know better," he adds.</p><p>"Oh, come on, who knows anything at fifteen," Kurt says. "I think it's adorable."</p><p>He reaches for Sebastian's hair and brushes his fingertips over the styled coiffe. "And you're handsome enough to pass for a Disney Prince. Maybe even a straight one." He winks.</p><p>"Ha, ha," Sebastian says. "No, thanks, we talked about that, remember?"</p><p>"But you dance now, don't you?" Kurt chuckles. "It's okay, I am not good at sharing either," he assures him, and leans forward to kiss his lips. If the owner of the restaurant is fine with Sebastian bringing a boy as his date, he doubts the other patrons will mind- and even if they do, tough luck. He's with the Disney prince and they can go and cry with Aurélie.</p><p>Half an hour later, Guillaume serves them two amazing crispy galettes, wrapped into small square packages, and filled with delicious molten cheese and ham.</p><p>"Usually they have tomatoes," Guillaume explains, "but when the cook forgets, Sebastian will send them back. So none for you either, Kurt, or maybe you will get no more kisses, I think?"</p><p>Sebastian snorts. "Please, Gui, I would kiss Kurt even after he-"</p><p>"-eats too much garlic bread!" Kurt quickly cuts in, hoping to silence Sebastian with a commanding look and a raise of his eyebrows. He is pretty sure Sebastian was about to suggest something that had <em>nothing</em> to do with food. He knows the way the Smythes talk among themselves, but he does not want Sebastian to do that, at a <em>restaurant,</em> to someone Kurt has only just met.</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian agrees innocently, shooting him a look back.</p><p>"Say no more, oh my poor Aurélie!" Guillaume teases, clasping a palm over his heart and casting his eyes up to where, supposedly, his family lives above the restaurant.</p><p>"The food smells amazing," Kurt says, hoping to distract them before Sebastian ruins everyone's appetite.</p><p>"Yes, eat! Enjoy! I shall leave you to it!"</p><p>*****</p><p>A few hours later, Kurt hangs up his jacket and takes the folded neckerchief out the pocket to put away. He had taken it off at the restaurant, and later the jacket too, slowly peeling off layer after layer. He didn't need them there- not with Guillaume catering to their every wish and making him feel like he was dining at a friend's house. The galettes were delicious, and they had stayed until closing time, sharing a coffee with Guillaume after dinner while he told Kurt stories about Sebastian, Olivia, Julian and Aurélie.</p><p>He reaches into his other pocket, glances at the lockscreen of his phone and frowns. "Sebastian?" he calls out.</p><p>"Hmmm?" Sebastian walks into the bedroom with a toothbrush in the corner of his mouth.</p><p>"I've got two missed calls from your mom," Kurt announces, holding up his phone like that somehow says something about her intentions.</p><p>"Oh?" Sebastian fishes his phone from his back pocket and taps it. He pulls the toothbrush from his mouth and swallows. "I got one from mom and two from Liv."</p><p>Kurt feels his stomach drop with dread. Parents, family calling unexpectedly; he fears that more than anything.</p><p><em>Just as we were doing so well</em>, he thinks glumly, then berates himself for being selfish, because he knows Charlotte and Olivia would never disturb them unless it was important.</p><p>He can't help but wonder: Is this one of those moments, those pockets in time just before everything changes again? <em>Right here, when you were brushing your teeth and I was folding my neckerchief, we found out- </em></p><p>"Are you gonna call them back?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian nods solemnly. He walks over to the bed and sits down, still staring at his phone. Then, he looks up.</p><p>"Sit with me?" he asks. His eyes are soft, his expression vulnerable- gone is the boy who was going to brag about blowjobs in the middle of a restaurant. What is left is Sebastian; son, brother, boyfriend- and Kurt knows he needs him right now. He nods and sits down next to him, taking his hand.</p><p>Sebastian dials his mother's number and puts the phone on speaker. As the dial tone beeps, he squeezes Kurt's hand.</p><p>"Sebastian! I'm so glad you called," Kurt hears Charlotte say. She sounds relieved, but is he imagining it that she also sounds weary?</p><p>"What's going on?" Sebastian demands, and Kurt winces. He sounds harsher than usual, like he is steeling himself up for something.</p><p>"I'm here too, Charlotte," Kurt says, "you're on speaker." He wants her to know Sebastian has his support, whatever this is going to be.</p><p>"Oh, good. Because this concerns you both," Charlotte says. "You must know I really hate to disturb you like this, but Greg and I need to ask you something."</p><p>Sebastian presses his lips tightly together and his hand is nearly crushing Kurt's. Kurt can feel his heart beat in his throat. "Yeah?" Sebastian says, his voice almost a growl.</p><p>"Well, you know how we were all going to come to the house on the 12th? Something has come up that requires us to go to Pennsylvania sooner than we planned, and now we were hoping you might let us come over a week early. I think all of us here can really use the time as a family-"</p><p>"What. Happened."</p><p>Kurt braces himself. At least the wedding was still on, if they were still going to Pennsylvania. It was one of the first things he had thought of, besides unexpected deaths, terminal illnesses and natural disasters (yeah, his mind is very creative with that).</p><p>"It's pretty bad," Charlotte says quietly, and the line rustles. In the background, they can hear a voice whisper urgently. <em>Just give me the phone, mom!</em></p><p>"Olivia wants to be the one to tell you," Charlotte says quickly before the rustling sounds again.</p><p>"Our venue burned down," Olivia says, her voice slow and flat. "No one was hurt, but - It's gone. Over. Scorched from the face of the earth."</p><p>"Your-?" Sebastian starts, but Kurt almost rips the phone out of his hands and says: "Oh no! That's terrible!"</p><p>Sebastian gives him a very confused look, and Kurt covers the microphone with his hand. "The venue for the wedding," he explains. "This is a catastrophe!"</p><p>He holds the phone up to his mouth again. "What does your wedding planner say?"</p><p>Olivia scoffs. "Nothing. I fired him three months ago. He was an idiot."</p><p>Kurt goes wide-eyed. The momentary relief that no one was hurt evaporates quickly as the weight of Olivia's words settles in. "What are you going to do?!"</p><p>"I don't know!" Olivia says, emotion now breaking through in her voice. "Mom says we'll go there in person and look for a new place by ourselves, but Kurt, you <em>know</em> it's impossible. Where are we <em>ever</em> going to find a place big enough for three hundred people on such short notice? It's never going to work! We will have to cancel the wedding!"</p><p>"Hey, come on, it can't be that bad," Sebastian offers, giving Kurt a questioning look and pulling up his shoulders. Kurt shakes his head. They'd have had decorators planning with that particular place, floral arrangements, seating- when it comes to the party, they are basically back at square one, and the wedding is in three weeks. The phone rustles again.</p><p>"You're on speaker now, too," Charlotte announces. "Greg and I agreed that we all need a few days to calm down and regroup, and we were hoping it was okay for you if we did that together at the beach. We are aware that this cuts your time together a little short-"</p><p>"Guys, please, if I can't get out of here my head will explode," Olivia cuts in. "I need sun, waves, and my little brother to distract me or I will go insane."</p><p>Sebastian and Kurt exchange a look. Kurt nods, mentally saying goodbye to their private mornings in the sand. He's just glad everyone is okay, at least physically.</p><p>"Of course you can come," he says. "It's <em>your</em> house."</p><p>"Well, yes, but we know this was supposed to be <em>your</em> time. Julian especially was adamant that we go somewhere else-" Charlotte argues.</p><p>Kurt thinks of waking up looking into Julian's inquisitive blue eyes and him saying how he wanted them to have a real chance. To Julian, this will feel like jeopardising it. "I can still stay, right?" he asks carefully.</p><p>"Kurt is staying," Sebastian says. "And the big bathroom is ours."</p><p>"My wedding is about to be cancelled and you're negotiating <em>bathroom privileges</em>?" Olivia shouts. "Are you for real?"</p><p>"We can figure all of that out when we get there," Charlotte says, clearly trying to mollify Olivia on the other side of the line. "Of course you're staying, Kurt, darling. We just want to spend some time with the family; that includes you."</p><p>Sebastian's hand tightens on Kurt's again. "Okay. When are you driving down?" he asks.</p><p>"We thought Sunday morning," Charlotte says. "We still need to pack and your dad has to cancel a few engagements we had in Ohio this week."</p><p>Kurt offers Sebastian a smile. That gives them one more day to themselves, plus the hours it'll take them to drive the day after.</p><p>"Sunday's fine," Kurt decides for the both of them. "And Liv?" He pauses. "We'll figure it out, okay? No wedding is without obstacles. When you get here I'll tell you about my dad and Carole's wedding and what we all now recall as the Dove Incident...believe me, you haven't seen anything yet if you have never tried to MacGyver bird poop out of a wedding dress using only baking powder, pepsi and safety pins."</p><p>He shoots a look at Sebastian and pulls up his shoulders, hoping a combination of humor and truth is the right way to calm Olivia down.</p><p>"And I bet Burt still calls it the happiest day of his life," Sebastian chimes in, catching on.</p><p>"Yes, he does," Kurt agrees. "And Carole too."</p><p>It's quiet on the other side for a while, then Olivia speaks up, sounding a little more level. "Thanks, guys. I'll see you on Sunday then."</p><p>"Bring your wedding books!" Kurt adds before they hang up. Sebastian lowers the phone and drops himself back on the bed with a groan.</p><p>"What a fucking mess," he mumbles. "I thought we had one more week together. Now we'll have Liv over going all Bridezilla on us."</p><p>"Well, she's understandably upset," Kurt offers, lying down next to him and propping his head up on his hand, leaning his elbow on the mattress. "I mean, what are the odds? You can plan for a lot of things going wrong, but the actual place <em>burning down</em>? Three weeks before? I hope she doesn't believe in signs or something…"</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "Nah, not Liv. I doubt even a burning <em>church</em> would stop her from marrying Brian. But she does have the whole thing planned out in her head the way she wants it. They booked that venue over a year ago."</p><p>"Mmm, most people do, that's why those places are always booked months ahead."</p><p>Sebastian turns his head to look at Kurt. "At least we've got one more day."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "Yes. We should make it count."</p><p>Sebastian looks at him for a moment, then nods in agreement.</p><p>Kurt feels his heart flutter. He lifts his head off his arm to lean forward for a kiss. At the last moment, he playfully pretends to change his mind. "Maybe finish brushing your teeth first?" he asks. "You have like, a blob of toothpaste...right there." He points at the corner of his mouth.</p><p>"Seriously?" Sebastian gives him an incredulous look.</p><p>Kurt tries to keep a straight face for a moment, but the indignant expression on Sebastian's face is too precious, and he laughs before planting a kiss on his lips. "It'll take more than toothpaste to stop me from kissing you," he whispers.</p><p>*****</p><p>That night, Kurt can't sleep. His mind is already whirring with possibilities to help Olivia and Brian. Three hundred people- he isn't sure if that was the actual number or just a hyperbole, but having seen how many people were present at the engagement party, he thinks it might be close to reality. It is definitely a high number to find such short-term accommodation for.</p><p>Kurt has never been to Pennsylvania, and he doesn't know the town where Brian's parents live. He only knows it is close to Allentown. It's not a big place, and Olivia had told him how hard it had been, even last year, to find the right venue. The Smythes' money can solve a lot of problems and they could probably even just buy another party out, convince a hotel chain to drop their previous booking, but Kurt does not think Greg and Charlotte are the kind of people who'd rob another couple of their happy day.</p><p>So what kind of places could host such a gathering? Country clubs, hotels; they'd all be booked. Maybe, if they were lucky, they'd find a vacancy; a short term cancellation. Not all engagements made it to actual weddings, after all. With a pang of hurt, Kurt thinks about Blaine and his gum wrapper promise ring. A promise to, what? <em>Wait nine days?</em> He shuts the door to his memories firmly and locks it. It is not helpful now.</p><p>What about private estates, parks, maybe even barns or factory halls? They'd need to make calls, negotiate terms, make sure they'd get the proper licensing for loud music, alcohol, putting down hard floors and possibly a gazebo on the grass… Did the venue already offer seating (now up in smoke) or had they ordered that separately? What about floral arrangements?</p><p>There are too many questions he doesn't have the answer to, so Kurt's sleepy brain buzzes with scenarios and Plan-Bs, trying to plot out each eventuality.</p><p>"Kurt, I can <em>hear</em> you worrying," Sebastian mumbles sleepily. "It's even more annoying than the mosquitos."</p><p>"I can't help it, I feel awful for her," Kurt says. He rolls over to face Sebastian. "I'm a worrier. That's what I <em>do.</em> I have always over-thought everything, prepared for every occasion, planned and plan-B-ed; so no one could catch me by surprise." He pauses, and offers Sebastian a small smile.</p><p>"And then there was you."</p><p>Sebastian grins, his eyes glittering in the darkness. "I caught you by surprise?"</p><p>"Absolutely," Kurt whispers. He knows they probably both did- he is pretty sure Sebastian never intended to feel what he is feeling now either.</p><p>His mind turns back to Olivia, whose eyes are so like Sebastian's in their fire and scrutiny. "I guess all of your family did." He closes his eyes briefly and sighs before looking back at Sebastian. "And now here I am, worrying about your sister's wedding."</p><p>"Mmm. Well, that problem won't be solved tonight," Sebastian says matter-of-factly.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"So you might as well go to sleep."</p><p>"I might as well," Kurt agrees.</p><p>"Or you could kiss me."</p><p>"Or that," Kurt whispers, smiling in the dark.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Playlist:<br/>[Funny Face] <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZPpz6vWptg">How Long Has This Been Going On</a></p><p>-<br/>Did you take a break yet? Please look after yourselves! (and thank you for reading) We love you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: RIB; thank you for making canon so perfectly unfulfilling that only fanfiction could fix what you did wrong. Had you done a better job, we wouldn’t need to have used our creativity.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sebastian's still asleep when Kurt wakes up on Saturday morning, and Kurt rolls onto his side to watch him. Though he's still firmly on Team Jacob, he's getting a bit of an Edward vibe as he studies Sebastian's sleeping face. There's something mysterious about people sleeping- they are right next to you, and yet they are in a completely different world. Are they dreaming of you? And would they remember any of it, if you woke them up now? There's also something very vulnerable about sleeping next to someone- and Kurt can see why Sebastian did not reward that privilege to any of his hook-ups. It means giving them the power to just tear you away from your private world and force you back into theirs, whether you are ready or not.</p><p>Kurt watches his boyfriend's chest rise and fall, and lets him sleep. He doesn't try to get back to sleep again though- now that he is awake, his brain has started up thinking about Olivia's wedding again. He decides to get up and make a tea- the water boiler is quieter than the espresso machine, and he wants to let Sebastian rest. </p><p>He plans to take his tea out on the terrace, but as he walks through the living room, his eyes fall on the space they have inhabited the last week. His poncho is draped over the couch, next to Sebastian's sweater. A pair of Sebastian's flip flops lie scattered; one by the terrace door, one half under a seat. Stacks of books and magazines are piled up on the coffee table, and a few empty mugs and cups stand next to them. Kurt puts his tea down on the dining table and starts picking up their things. The more he picks up, the more he sees; they have tracked sand inside, the trash bag in the kitchen could probably use changing, and the terrace furniture is arranged less invitingly than it was when they got here.</p><p>By the time Sebastian wakes up and joins him on the terrace around midday, Kurt's tea has long since gone cold.</p><p>"What are you <em>doing</em>?" Sebastian asks, his voice raspy. He is barefoot, still in his sleep clothes, and he stretches with one arm lifted up, running a hand through the hair at the back of his neck. He looks around at what Kurt realizes must be a rather unexpected sight- earlier, he had taken the upholsteries off the outdoor furniture to shake the crumbs off, only to realize that the metal is actually black and not (as he assumed all week) gray, and is in fact covered in a sheen of very fine dust and sand. Unable to find a bucket, Kurt had taken a large punch bowl from the kitchen, filled it with water, and is currently wiping down the seats.</p><p>"The chairs were dusty," he says, wringing the cloth over the bowl.</p><p>"So?" Sebastian replies.</p><p>"So, I decided to clean them," Kurt says, maybe a little edgier than he intends. If Sebastian is going to make a joke about housewives or the working class, Kurt is ready for him. But Sebastian simply looks at him in wonderment.</p><p>"Why? They're <em>outside</em> furniture," he says.</p><p>"Because your family is coming over," Kurt argues. "And I want them to feel welcome."</p><p>Sebastian frowns. "So...you're going to spend the whole day cleaning?"</p><p>"<em>No.</em> But I do want to do the bathroom and the living room at least, so they can arrive to a clean house."</p><p>"You're our guest, not the help."</p><p><em>There it is.</em> Kurt sighs. "It's <em>our</em> stuff lying everywhere, Sebastian. Things <em>we've</em> used! And you could help, you know."</p><p>"I could, if I saw the point," Sebastian argues. "But it's not like we snuck in here without asking and have to put everything back to where it was so no one notices-"</p><p><em>Like their house parties</em>, Kurt adds in his mind, remembering how Julian had ordered a clean up service after the pool party- their plans only foiled by their parents coming home early. He wonders how often Sebastian has been a part of that; enough to make a name for himself with Brandon and the body shots line. His mind inevitably goes to the pool party guests, who all seemed to know Sebastian intimately (or some parts of him, anyway). Somehow, with that thought in mind, he gets even more irritated. </p><p>"My family knows we've been here for a week so they don't expect the place to be pristine," the current version of Sebastian continues, pulling him back to the conversation. </p><p>Kurt forces himself to forget the others guys. <em>They</em> are not here with Sebastian now- he is. </p><p>"Maybe not, but everyone likes arriving at a clean house," he argues. He's not particularly invested in the argument anymore, but he won't back down either. He wants to clean because it feels like the right thing to do. "With Olivia under such stress-"</p><p>"I doubt she'll care about outside dust on <em>outside </em>furniture," Sebastian cuts in.</p><p>Kurt lets out a frustrated breath and throws the cloth into the bowl of soapy water, causing some of it to splash over the sides onto the wooden decking. "Your family has been nothing but welcoming and lovely, and this is the only way I know how to give something back," he says exasperatedly.</p><p>Sebastian scoffs, and looks out over the water.</p><p>"What?" Kurt asks after a moment. Should he have been giving back in different ways? Is there a protocol? </p><p>Sebastian shrugs and walks over to the balustrade, leaning down to rest his forearms on it. He glares at the water, his brow furrowed. His heel is drumming the wooden floor boards. The longer he does that, the more it sets Kurt on edge. What is he doing wrong? What exactly is Sebastian disapproving of?</p><p>"<em>What?</em>" Kurt demands again, rising from his seat on the floor and wiping his hands dry on his sleep clothes before crossing his arms over his chest. He shifts his weight over one hip and raises his chin, ready to take whatever criticism Sebastian wants to throw at him for trying to make his family home <em>nicer.</em></p><p>"Nothing," Sebastian replies tersely. "It's just that, when I invited you here I wasn't expecting you to actually want to ‘play house'."</p><p>Kurt's jaw drops. "<em>That's</em> what you think we are doing?" he asks.</p><p>"Well, we're staying in <em>a house</em> together," Sebastian drawls as if he is going to draw Kurt a diagram next, "And we're sharing a bed and making breakfast in the mornings, going grocery shopping and cooking - the other night you <em>forced</em> me to do the dishes and now you're fucking scrubbing outside furniture like a-" he cuts off, clearly realizing he was about to cross a line.</p><p>Kurt's eyes narrow. "Like a <em>what?"</em> he asks waspishly, his hands moving to his hips as he stares his boyfriend down. He's trying desperately to not fill in the blank, but he can hear what Sebastian was going to say like an echo reverberating around his mind.</p><p>Sebastian closes his mouth and folds his arms over his chest defensively.</p><p>Kurt lets out an angry huff. If he is completely honest with himself, he knows that whatever Sebastian had been about to say (but didn't), he doesn't mean it. And he held back, which also says something about how far they have come. But Kurt doesn't <em>want </em>to be honest with himself right now. He wants to be angry, because his feelings are hurt. </p><p>"It was <em>your</em> idea to come here, remember? " he says. "I'm not trying to ‘play house' with you, Sebastian, but I'm not going to live in squalor just because you're not used to doing anything for yourself! I'm not trying to erase the fact that we've been here for a week and made ourselves comfortable, but arriving here to a clean, tidy house on Sunday where even the pantry was fully stocked for us was pretty fucking nice and all I want is to return the favor."</p><p>"But it's <em>outside</em> <em>furniture </em>Kurt," Sebastian says exasperatedly, something like pain starting to creep into his voice, and suddenly, <em>finally,</em> Kurt gets it. This isn't about him cleaning, that is an excuse for him to get angry so he doesn't have to open up about what's <em>really </em>bothering him. Picking a fight (or letting this one escalate) will not be conclusive to getting Sebastian to open up. Kurt forces himself to calm down, and not be on the defensive anymore.</p><p>"This isn't about the furniture," he states. "Is it?"</p><p>He sees the flighty panic rage in Sebastian's eyes and he's half-expecting him to turn and run away, but he doesn't. He just stands there in the middle of the terrace in his sleep clothes, his hair still mussed from his pillow and his bare feet curling into the wooden panels on the floor. He slowly shakes his head.</p><p>"I thought this was what you wanted?" Kurt asks quietly. "Us being here together, telling stories and getting to know each other?"</p><p>"It was," Sebastian whispers and bites his lip, clasping his hands behind his head and cradling them against his neck, letting his head rest back as he searches the morning sky for words. He looks like he wants nothing more but to run, to escape answering the question. For a moment, Kurt is afraid that he will. That this is it. This is where Sebastian tells him that it was all a mistake, that he can't be with someone like Kurt, who <em>cleans</em> in his spare time.</p><p><em>Not even a week</em>, he thinks, starting to feel sick. <em>We tried and we didn't even last a week. So much for Christmas...</em></p><p>"I <em>have</em> really enjoyed this week," Sebastian finally says, lowering his arms and looking back at him. Having you all to myself, having you <em>here</em> and getting to know you, letting you know me...it's been one of the best weeks of my life."</p><p>"Then what's the problem?" Kurt asks weakly.</p><p>Sebastian sighs. "Yesterday on the phone, when my mom said you are family…" He shrugs awkwardly, avoiding Kurt's eyes. "I just had this moment where it all seemed so <em>real.</em> It's like I saw my life flash before my eyes; <em>our life.</em> Christmases and birthdays, Thanksgiving with your folks and July 4th with mine and-"</p><p>"But, yesterday you said you <em>wanted </em>that," Kurt reminds him quietly. It feels like his heart is in his throat and he can't swallow around it. </p><p>"I did!" Sebastian cries desperately. "I mean I <em>do. </em>I meant what I said about staying together after the summer, I want to try and make this work...but for my mom, it's like we're already <em>there, </em>you know? Like we've been together forever! And once Liv's wedding is over she's gonna start fucking planning <em>ours</em> and-"</p><p>With a flash of clarity, Kurt understands. "And things got a little too...domestic for you?" he asks carefully.</p><p>"Yes," Sebastian whispers, looking grateful that Kurt has put it into words. "And I panicked and I can't make it stop." He reaches up and rubs his hand over his face, screwing his eyes tightly closed and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I hardly slept, thinking about it."</p><p>Kurt bites his lip and steps forward again, counting his blessings when Sebastian doesn't pull away this time. He reaches up and gently pulls Sebastian's hand away from his face. His heart surges when Sebastian immediately curls their fingers together and clutches Kurt's hand tightly, like he's his lifeline.</p><p>"It's not that I don't want all of this, all of <em>you</em>-" he continues desperately. "But…" he opens his eyes and offers Kurt a pleading look.</p><p>"But you got spooked?" Kurt asks and Sebastian nods. </p><p>Kurt pulls up the corner of his mouth. "I get that. You and I have never spent this much time together without breaks before. And suddenly, it is like we're living together. Of course that's going to feel weird. It took us half of the summer to come to terms with our feelings- one week together isn't going to turn us into some harmonious, married couple."</p><p>Sebastian opens his mouth in surprise, then closes it again. He looks stricken for a moment, like he wants to protest. </p><p>"What does that say about us?" he asks instead. "Are we...doing it wrong?" Heavily implied, Kurt can feel the underlying question. <em>Am</em> I<em> doing it wrong?</em></p><p>He shakes his head. "It's my fault. I keep forgetting how new all of this is for you." </p><p>It is the wrong thing to say. Kurt winces as he sees Sebastian's shields draw back up; he drops Kurt's hand and is shaking his head quietly, his eyes roving over the terrace, unable to settle anywhere. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, like he's only barely stopping himself from bolting out of there. </p><p><em>It's frustrating how hard this suddenly is</em>, Kurt thinks, <em>after everything has been so </em>easy <em>this week</em>- His thoughts cut off as the epiphany strikes him like a thunderbolt. </p><p>It <em>has</em> been easy- for Kurt; but not for Sebastian, and he has completely underestimated that. He had assumed that the only hurdle they had left to climb was the physical one.</p><p>Kurt takes a deep breath and crosses the distance between them, taking both of Sebastian's hands in his. "You're <em>not</em> doing it wrong," he assures his boyfriend. He waits until Sebastian looks into his eyes. "I just have more experience with this part of being in a relationship. Blaine and I spent <em>months</em> just hanging out like this before we even kissed, just being together, getting to know each other on completely platonic dates-"</p><p>Sebastian frowns. "That's not dating," he cuts in. "That's just being friends."</p><p>Kurt huffs out an embarrassed laugh. "I thought we were dating. We were both gay, we were hanging out at the Lima Bean, going shopping together, singing flirty little duets together...all of these things were part of our romance, in my mind." </p><p>He sniffs, pressing his lips together. He can't tell this part of the story without the rest of it. </p><p>"So imagine my surprise when one day, he asks for my help to serenade <em>Jeremiah</em> and declare <em>him</em> his undying devotion." Kurt shrugs and smirks a little. It's a lot more amusing now than it was back then.</p><p>Sebastian pulls back a little, frowning. "Who?" </p><p>Kurt cocks his head and blinks a few times, waiting for Sebastian to connect the dots. Maybe he's secretly hoping Sebastian doesn't remember him at all. <em>Don't think about that gorgeous man with the curly hair and that little dent in his bottom lip that makes it look like he'd been biting it, waiting to be kissed-</em></p><p>"That surfer guy who works at the club?" Sebastian finally asks.<em> Damn, he remembers.</em></p><p>"He worked at the GAP then," Kurt explains, trying not to let his disappointment show. "At least until Blaine outed him at work and he got fired."</p><p>"Wow, that's a dick move," Sebastian mumbles, and then pauses, mulling it over in his mind. "He was definitely out when I met him."</p><p>"Mmm," Kurt agrees quietly, remembering the way Jeremiah had looked at Sebastian at the club, all hungry and needy and insinuating, and how furious it had made Kurt feel, how eager to show him that this time, <em>he</em> had the guy- even if he didn't actually have Sebastian yet back then, not really.</p><p>"Blaine <em>dated</em> him?" Sebastian prods, sounding a little incredulous, pulling Kurt back to the present.</p><p>"Oh! No, not at all. Jeremiah turned him down and eventually, Blaine...well. He decided he liked me, instead." </p><p>Kurt pulls up the corner of his mouth in a mirthless half-smile. "He kissed me, and after that, we...pretty much continued hanging out together as we had for months, only now with some kissing and hand-holding. In private." He can't help but add the last part, even if he isn't sure he should tell Sebastian about Blaine's background. "It took even longer for us to go further." </p><p>Before Sebastian can ask, he adds: "Not because that was the <em>right way</em> to do it, but because it was right for us <em>then</em>. Holding hands and kissing was a pretty big step for me already. It took me a long time to feel ready for more."</p><p>He pauses. "All I am saying is: I have a lot of experience being <em>domestic</em> because it's basically all Blaine and I ever did. We were like an old married couple before we were even dating." </p><p>Maybe that was also a part of why they didn't work out, but Kurt can't think about that now. It doesn't matter anymore- what matters is putting Sebastian at ease again.</p><p>"I'm sorry if I made you feel like I expected you to jump right in with all of this. Like I said, I didn't realize how overwhelming it must have been. It's a bit like-"</p><p>"Going from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds flat?" Sebastian suggests, a small smile forming on his lips.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt agrees. "So maybe we should have built up to <em>that</em> a little more, too." He hesitates, trying to think of ways to make it better. "I can still go, if it's too much," he offers. </p><p>He doesn't want to, but he also doesn't want to force his presence on Sebastian. Not to mention that Sebastian's family will have certain expectations of them, of them behaving like the established couple they are supposed to be, which might just be the wrong thing for him right now. "We can figure out what to tell your family. I'd still come to the wedding-"</p><p>"<em>No</em>," Sebastian says adamantly, gripping Kurt's hand tightly as if he expects Kurt to leave right this second. "No, I want you to stay." He smirks uncomfortably, as if his own ardour embarrasses him a little. "Don't leave me here with Bridezilla." </p><p>Kurt can tell there's a lot more behind his eyes that Sebastian is not telling him, or does not know how to articulate yet. He presses his lips into a thin smile. "Okay. I'll stay," he promises. His mind whirrs to come up with a Plan B. </p><p>"Then how about we take a little time off today? I'll finish cleaning this stuff and you could...go for a swim? Take your books down to the beach?"</p><p>Sebastian frowns. "I don't want to just hang out if you're going to be working," he says, and looks out over the balcony. "Besides, the beach would be boring without you." He turns back to Kurt and waggles his eyebrows. It makes Kurt's heart soar, his chest feel light. Sebastian still wants to be with (and wants) him, and this is just a little bump in the road that they need to smooth out.</p><p>"How about I drive into town and buy stuff to fill up the fridge?" Sebastian suggests. "I could get Olivia's favourite chocolate to cheer her up? It's from this place a bit further off, but it's worth it and if I left now I'd be back in time for dinner. Or I can swing by <em>Rolande</em> and <em>bring</em> dinner?"</p><p>Kurt can't help but smile. In their effort to think of a way to spend some time apart and break away from the domesticity of the beach house, what Sebastian has suggested is actually even <em>more </em>domestic. Not that this is the right moment to tell him. "I think that's a great idea," he says. It'll give them both some time with their own thoughts, but with the promise of a shared dinner as a reward.</p><p>"Okay. I'll get dressed and make a list," Sebastian says, letting go of Kurt's hand. "I'll run it by you before I go."</p><p>"Alright," Kurt agrees, and picks up his cleaning cloth again. "Oh, and Sebastian?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>Kurt looks into his eyes. "For staying to talk about this. The Sebastian from a few weeks ago would have left."</p><p>Sebastian is quiet for a moment. "The Kurt from a few weeks ago would have told me Blaine was better at this," he replies.</p><p>Kurt doesn't try to deny it, and for a moment it hangs between them; the people they have been but no longer are. </p><p>Then Sebastian nods and goes inside, and Kurt reaches back into the punch bowl for his cloth, hoping that revealing the clean furniture from under the dust will help him uncover the person he wants to be, too.</p><p>*****</p><p>A few hours later, Kurt is feeling more prepared for the visit ahead than he was when he got up. The cleaning, and putting things back in their right place, <em>sorting</em> and organizing their things has helped him organize his thoughts as well. He has gone over the past week and the things he and Sebastian have done, wondering where it may have been <em>too</em> much, too soon; not finding anything. He hadn't noticed anything amiss about Sebastian until this morning's outburst. Okay, so maybe he hadn't been eager to do the dishes, but not everyone has to like chores. </p><p>He thinks about Sebastian's words from earlier. "I want to try and make this work...but for my mom, it's like we're already <em>there, </em>you know?" And Kurt understands. It <em>wasn't</em> too much, until the call from his mother. Suddenly, their little bubble had been popped, and Sebastian had been reminded that all of this wasn't just a temporary thing; a way to act during the holidays before everything would go back to normal. As far as his family was concerned, this was permanent. This was how their family was going to be for now on; with him and Kurt as this inseparable unit.</p><p>And <em>that</em> had definitely freaked him out. </p><p>But despite the reality check of it all, Sebastian has stayed, and that is really quite incredible. When Kurt thinks about the way Sebastian used to isolate himself as a means of self-protection, he can't help but feel <em>proud </em>that for some reason, Sebastian has chosen to fight against that hard-wired urge and stay, and give Kurt the chance to understand him. </p><p>With that thought in mind, Kurt walks into their bedroom. He has already aired it out and turned down the sheets, but maybe he can do a little more for Sebastian, a little touch of domesticity to show he is not just cleaning up for the family. </p><p>He picks up Sebastian's bag and decides to put away the remaining clean clothes in the closet with the rest of his things. Maybe not living out of a bag will make him feel more at home. </p><p>He takes out Sebastian's shirts and re-folds them so they'll stack easier. He sets them on top of the other shirts, straightening the pile until it looks neat. Then he opens the drawers and begins sorting Sebastian's shorts, socks and underwear. There are so many pairs of socks that there's no room to just pile them on top, so Kurt uses the flat of his hand to push the ones already inside deeper into the back, making room at the front of the drawer for the ones from Sebastian's bag. </p><p>The underwear drawer is the same, (and they are really nice pairs, Kurt can't help but notice, the kind that costs 30 dollars for just one pair of briefs; perhaps Charlotte's way of reminding Sebastian of the worth of the body parts he's wrapping in them. Kurt somehow doubts this had any effect, and his mind provides flashes of briefs like this being forgotten in club bathrooms and people's cars). He starts pushing them into the drawer when he hits a resistance. Though the drawer looks exactly the same as the others, it is somehow less deep- or something is stored in the back. </p><p>With a frown, Kurt pulls out the drawer as far as it will go and peers inside. It is too dark to see, so he reaches inside, pushing away briefs and shorts and jockstraps (he wonders if Charlotte got him<em> those</em> too, or if he got them for himself) and his hands touch the sides of a cardboard shoe box. He grasps the edge and pulls it forward. It is heavy, heavier than it would be if there was a pair of shoes in it.</p><p>For one, defining moment, Kurt considers what he is about to do. Whatever is in here, he doubts it is intended for public viewing. No one stores shoes like this, at the back of an underwear drawer. What could it be? With a shudder, he remembers that offhand remark he had made at the engagement party, about such drawers being a hiding place for porn. Olivia had confirmed that Sebastian once stored his secret stash of magazines there, hadn't she?</p><p>Kurt's stomach drops. Is he ready for that? Does he really want to know what kind of guys Sebastian is into? What kind of acts, poses, turn him on? What if their body type is radically different from his? Is ignorance bliss in this case? </p><p>Kurt tries to decide what moral grounds he has. If it is porn, he somehow doubts Sebastian has hidden it from <em>him</em> specifically - more likely he has hidden it from his family. Is <em>he</em> allowed to look? How would he feel if Sebastian went through his personal things?</p><p>And as soon as he asks himself that, he has his answer. He <em>knows</em> how that feels, because Sebastian has done that already; on the night Sebastian went through his phone and read his chat history with Blaine- more humiliating and painful than any stash of porn found in Kurt Hummel's underwear drawer could ever be. </p><p>He remembers it wasn't pleasant, and yet he also remembers that things became just a little better after Sebastian knew. Maybe, finding out that Sebastian has a thing for school uniforms or leather or soft bondage (his highschool-sweetheart imagination does not get him much further in the kink department so he hopes it will just be that) will help their budding sexual relationship without them having to have awkward talks about it. He could just adapt and show up in a new wardrobe one day, and make Sebastian's secret desires come true.</p><p>Kurt likes that idea (and may or may not be inventorizing his wardrobe for <em>special</em> items in his head already) and lifts the lid off the box. For a moment, he is disappointed.</p><p>A beautiful picture of a city landscape greets him, the first on a stack of what looks like many dog-eared postcards. Kurt has never really been anywhere, but he thinks he recognises the towers and waterfront on the picture, and wanting to prove his inner metropolitan, he picks it up and turns it around to read where the picture was taken. He knew it- London. He has watched enough tv shows and fashion reports to have felt rather secure about his guess, but he is pleased anyway. Without really intending to, his eyes fly over the message, written in a lopsided scrawl- most definitely a boy's handwriting.</p><p>
  <em>Sebster,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can't understand a word people are saying here and it rains all the time. Still good though. I found a place in Peckham where they accept my American soul- hope to be staying a while. Every second building here is a museum or a bookshop so I thought of you. How's Dalton? Are you trying out for the team?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Julian.</em>
</p><p>Kurt looks at the date stamp. It's from 2008. He remembers learning a little about Julian's past in snippets over the dinner table and conversations here and there, how he first tried Parsons and then Berkley before upending his academic career and travelling to Europe, but the telling of it had always made it seem like some sort of extended holiday, a few months at most. As he flicks through the stack of postcards from various cities on the map; Barcelona, Lisbon, Athens, Prague, Venice, Amsterdam, Paris and views their stamps, Kurt realises that they actually span over a year, almost two. </p><p>He begins to sort them by date, seeing Julian's path through Europe begin to form as his messages on the back become shorter and more cryptic, sometimes only just signing his name. There are months missing, and months where he sent card after card. </p><p>They are only ever addressed to Sebastian- did he send the rest of the family separate cards, or was Sebastian the only recipient? Kurt does remember Julian telling him how he and his brother had gotten close when he had moved back in with their parents after Berkley, with him spending time with Sebastian on weekends and school holidays, letting him help with his art projects or taking him to shows and galleries. Maybe Sebastian really was the only part of home he kept in contact with over that time.</p><p>The most recent cards he finds are from Germany. The pictures show a harbor city with what almost looks like Las Vegas style streets decked out in neon lights. The fine print of the back says it's Hamburg. It is dated June, 2010.</p><p>
  <em>Sebster,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everything's arranged for your visit. I can't wait! Don't bring too many books, you nerd. We won't have time for that. I'll call mom and dad for your flight info. See you soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Julian</em>
</p><p>Kurt pauses, briefly calculating what he was doing back then. It was the summer between sophomore and junior year. He had just come out, first to his dad and then at school, and they had lost at Regionals. Quinn had had her baby, Rachel had found her biological mom, and Finn and Carole had moved in with him and his dad. It feels like ages ago. Sebastian had visited Julian in Germany?</p><p>He wishes there was more, but the cards end there- probably because they were together that summer, so that makes sense. He gathers up the cards, taking another look at some of the photographs and allowing himself a bit of a daydream before stacking them again. Through Julian's brief and arbitrary descriptions (<em>everyone smokes in Prague, why is that still a thing? / Venice has a pigeon problem but no shotguns / Everything they say about Amsterdam is true</em>) he feels like he has been on a round-trip through Europe himself a bit. </p><p>As he picks up the lid to close the box, he notices an envelope slid between the cardboard edge on the inside. It is addressed to Sebastian, dated December 2010, at an address in Paris, France.</p><p>Without opening it, Kurt knows this is not like the postcards. The letter has a weight to it, and the fact that it's <em>here</em>, brought back home from Paris to be saved with the cards Sebastian had collected in Ohio, it has to mean something. Can he read this, too? Postcards are unsealed, open to anyone, even the mailman can read them. But an actual letter…that's sealed and private. <em>Just like a phone chat log,</em> a small, curious voice inside his head reminds him. Moral, unmoral. Right, wrong- is it revenge or simply curiosity?</p><p>With shaking hands and against his better judgement, Kurt opens the envelope and begins to read.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Sebastian,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As a part of my therapy and my way to becoming a Decent and Rehabilitated Human Being, my therapist has instructed me to write apology letters to all the people I have hurt over the course of my life. As you can imagine, this has kept me busy for months, having hurt just about every living person on this planet and some of their pets, too. I have written to mom and dad, to Liv and Brian, to Cooper and his folks (though I doubt they'll ever read it). I have written letters to my teachers at Dalton and my sponsors at Parsons, to the 7-11 I once shoplifted from, and even to our old neighbour to apologize for the halloween pranks with the horse poop. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I saved the hardest apology for last. You are the one who deserves it most, and I can only hope that you will read this and not throw it away unopened (as I am afraid you might). My therapist says it is my job to write these letters whether they will be read or not, and that I must accept that some of them will remain unread, unanswered. Nonetheless, I will send a copy to Olivia to keep for you, just in case you'd come to regret discarding this one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I regret what I did to you more than anything that I have fucked up in my 24 years on this earth. You came to me for guidance and support, but I was not ready to be the big brother you needed. I was too much of a mess myself, unable to see beyond my misery and the wretched narrative I had painted myself the tragic anti-hero in. I had no regards for other people's feelings, neither yours or Michael's. You were cogs in the wheels, and in retrospect I realize I was trying to branch out my self-destructive tendencies to include everyone around me who'd come close enough. If everyone was as miserable as I was, no one would hold my life up to the light and show me there was a different way. If I could prove that life was awful to everyone, I would not need to feel pressured to crawl out of the pit I had dug for myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It made me lose Michael's friendship, and far more importantly, it made me lose my brother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know I can't take back what I did. I betrayed you, and the trust you (and from afar, our parents and Olivia) had placed in me to help you through a time where you needed to be shown the way to adulthood. I am so very sorry. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Despite what my therapist says, I do not believe I deserve your forgiveness, but you were always a much better person that I am, so maybe there is still a chance that you will let me make it up to you. I will do anything, Sebastian. I will commit my life to helping you, to make things right. If you want me to keep away, I will, but I hope you will permit me to visit you, just once, when I get out of this facility. I am loathe to play the therapist card, but she says it might be good for us both, even if all you do is punch me in the face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will send this now and hope to hear from you one way or another.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your brother, always-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Julian.</em>
</p><p>Kurt lowers the letter and stares into shadows of the closet, tears beginning to form in his eyes. This is it, this is what had caused the rift between Sebastian and Julian- suddenly, it has a timeframe, and most of all, it has a name. </p><p><em>Michael.</em> </p><p>Kurt forms it on his lips, whispering it into the empty room, and imagines Sebastian back here at sixteen, doing the same. It hurts. Just the mere imagination of Sebastian whispering someone else's name, not in the throes of sex but with something <em>more</em>, hurts.</p><p>If Kurt is honest to himself, a part of him has known for longer that their strife had to have involved a boy- everything had pointed in that direction; the way Julian and Sebastian are around each other, the jealousy and territorialism, and Julian's desperate need to offer Sebastian a chance at love (again). </p><p>Did he ruin Sebastian's first chance? Did he take this Michael, whoever he was to Sebastian, for himself? It isn't hard to imagine someone falling for Julian's obvious charm, especially if his only competition was his eight years younger brother. Is that what drove a wedge between them? </p><p>Kurt tries to imagine what it would have felt like if Blaine had been snatched away by someone Kurt <em>knew</em>; was close to (like a brother, but that scenario is weird with Finn and Blaine). </p><p>He remembers how betrayed he felt when he had to watch Blaine and Rachel kissing, and that was before they were even a couple. And knowing Julian, it would have been even worse than that basement makeout session - he doubts anything short of sex would have caused such a remorseful letter. If Julian had wanted to make Sebastian as miserable as he felt after losing Cooper, something like that would probably have done the trick.</p><p>Tears roll down Kurt's face. He can't help it. He isn't even sure why he is crying; for sixteen year old Sebastian and the pain Julian had caused him, for Julian's clear anguish and remorse…? </p><p>A secret, dark part of him is also crying for himself. </p><p>He has always assumed (had been led to assume, by everyone; Sebastian's family, his exes) that he was Sebastian's <em>real</em> first, in the way it <em>counted.</em> Not his first lover, but the first to be <em>special</em>, a real boyfriend, a <em>good</em> boyfriend, who appreciates him for his mind as well as his body. All of this has subconsciously been giving him an ego boost, made him feel better than the others, and now? It might not even be true. This letter had made it clear that he might not have been the first after all. </p><p>Kurt feels inexplicably disappointed, but it is immediately followed by deep, burning shame. How can he even think this way? He never thought he'd be <em>that </em>guy. How can he be disappointed that he isn't Sebastian's first, if Sebastian isn't<em> his</em> first either?</p><p>All this time, Sebastian has had to hold himself up against the specter of Blaine, the First Boyfriend, and Kurt? All he has been worried about was not meeting Sebastian's expectations in bed, because he knew he had the rest of it, the romance, down- at least well enough for a boy who had never had any. </p><p>And now there is a name to Sebastian's past, an unknown <em>other</em> he has been measured against all this time. What had Michael been to Sebastian? His first crush, first boyfriend, first love, first lover; the first to have all of him, even that what Kurt hasn't had yet?</p><p>Kurt holds in his breath, trying to stop the sobs wanting to escape from his throat, which feels thick and sore. When his lungs begin to burn, he lets out the air in a pained whimper. </p><p><em>Michael. </em>Kurt knows he isn't supposed to know about him. Guilt comes crashing down on him in waves, and now he is really sobbing. He shouldn't have found out like this. This is all wrong. </p><p>And what did it mean, that Julian had been charged with ‘guiding' Sebastian but failed him? </p><p>He picks up the sheet of paper, his eyes immediately finding the words again- <em>yours or Michael's </em>- and folds it, trying to push it back into the envelope and the envelope back into the lid, as if with it, he can erase it from his mind and pretend he never saw it. But how can he, when the words are already burned into his mind? </p><p>Wiping at his eyes, furious with himself, Kurt closes the box and pushes it back into the drawer, heaping the underwear back in front of it. It looks like a mess- a mess he feels deeply inside, and he takes everything out again and painstakingly starts to fold them. He deserves this, he tells himself. He deserves to feel like shit for snooping, for discovering what Sebastian does not want him to know (yet?). Maybe the reason Sebastian hedged around his past to Kurt is because he knows this would upset him. Does he know about Kurt's automatically triggered comparison mode, the self-doubt, the crippling insecurity? Kurt knows how his heart felt when faced with some of Sebastian's exes, even when that had only been sex, and hadn't Sebastian tried to keep him away from finding out about those boys too?</p><p>Kurt closes the drawer and backs away, sitting down on the bed. He remembers Julian's words from that morning after the party- <em>Sebastian deserves to tell his own story. </em>Kurt can't ask him about this, not before he's ready. As much as he wants to know, <em>needs</em> to know more about this Michael and what he was to Sebastian, he can't make Sebastian tell him. He will need to wait. </p><p>But what if Sebastian is never ready? What if he has decided that Kurt should never know? Can he live with that, with his own imagination filling in the gaps? </p><p>Can he accept the fact that there is a person out there who may one day show up in their lives with some kind of heartfelt apology to sweep Sebastian off his feet and take him back? (yep, Kurt's mind is really hating him right now). </p><p>The answer is no. Kurt can't live with that. He has to come clean. It doesn't feel like there's another way. He needs to know more before his thoughts will drive him insane. It will be the wrong way, and Kurt knows he has to own up to that, beg and grovel for Sebastian to understand that he never intended to find out this way, and hopefully, Sebastian will give him answers.</p><p>*****</p><p>"Hot stuff, coming through," Sebastian calls out as he comes through the door. "And I brought food as well!" He chuckles at his own joke.</p><p>Kurt feels his heart skip a beat. After putting everything in the bedroom back the way it was, he has been sitting on the terrace with a magazine for the last hour, not really reading anything. And now Sebastian is back, and he's in a good mood, it seems. </p><p><em>Not yet</em>, Kurt tells himself, and he puts on a show smile. <em>I'll ask him later.</em> He gets up and turns to face his boyfriend.</p><p>"Hey. Good trip?" he asks, hoping to sound like he hasn't been crying for over an hour straight.</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian replies, not noticing anything wrong with Kurt's slightly put-on chipper voice (<em>or not letting on?</em> Oh god, Kurt needs to stop second-guessing everything or he'll go insane). He puts two large paper bags and a smaller plastic bag with two foam food containers on the kitchen counter and reaches into one of the paper bags. "And, uh, I got you something."</p><p>Kurt cocks his head and walks into the living room. "You did?"</p><p>Sebastian offers him a shy smile, his lips pressed together and pursed just a little as he hangs his head a little and scuffs his feet. "Maybe you'll think it's stupid, I don't know," he mumbles, taking something from the bag and hiding it in his large palm. "I just felt bad for losing my shit earlier and then I saw this and I thought of you…" He trails off and holds it out. </p><p>In his hand, he holds a small, cream colored box about the size of a mug, with a floral printed label that says it has a scented candle inside.</p><p>"<em>Vigorous flower</em>?" Kurt reads outloud, and despite everything, he can't help but laugh a little. "<em>That's</em> what made you think of me?" <em>It's better than wallflower, anyway,</em> he muses. <em>I can be a vigorous flower. Why not.</em></p><p>Sebastian shrugs, blushing a little. "I thought you might like it."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head in mirth. "I do." He accepts the box and opens it to smell. Whatever flower it's supposed to be, there's vanilla too. Maybe orchid or rose. "Thank you." He lowers the box and leans closer to place a chaste kiss on Sebastian's lips.</p><p>"How about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to do?" Sebastian asks, looking around a little. "The living room looks great."</p><p>"I did," Kurt replies, stepping around Sebastian to take plates from the cupboard. Avoiding his eyes, he adds: "I took the liberty of putting the stuff from your bag into your closet." </p><p>It's a little bit of a test. How will Sebastian react to him touching his things, and being near that box of memories? But Sebastian just hums appreciatively and starts taking out cutlery and glasses for their dinner. If he's thinking about it at all, Kurt doesn't notice. But then, Sebastian had also let him pick out clothes from that closet, so maybe he just doesn't worry about it at all? Does he even remember Julian's letter is in there? Or does he count on Kurt doing the right thing should he find it?</p><p>
  <em>The right thing would have been to put that box back untouched as soon as he realized what it was.</em>
</p><p>"Do you want to take this outside?" Sebastian asks, and for a moment, Kurt has no idea what he's talking about, even though he is still holding plates in his hands. Then he sees Sebastian take out the containers and understands he's asking about the food.</p><p>"Oh! Yes, why not. That sounds good."</p><p>"Guillaume sends his love," Sebastian says conversationally as he carries the meals and puts them on the table. "I told him we'd probably all be by again next week."</p><p>Kurt just smiles and puts down the plates. It all feels a bit mechanical to him. His mind is still whirring, his head still hurting from all of the emotions- but he knows how to do this. Going through the motions of a household while pretending everything is fine is something he is very experienced at. "So, what did you bring?" he asks. </p><p>"Beef stew with cider, apples and carrots," Sebastian says. "Guillaume said the gallettes would go soggy in packaging." </p><p>"It smells amazing," Kurt says, and it feels like the first genuine thing out of his mouth since Sebastian came back (no, the second, he corrects himself, because he did like the candle too, and even more that Sebastian brought him something). But the food does look and smell delicious, and he really needs to get over himself. This is their last evening by themselves; to share a meal, watch the sunset, curl up at the fireplace or on the porch swing. Tomorrow, they will need to socialize, be that <em>other</em> Kurt and Sebastian. </p><p>With every mouthwatering bite of his food, Kurt swallows down his questions and insecurities deeper. It shouldn't matter who Michael was (or is). What matters is not the past but the present, <em>them</em>, right now, and what they have. If that was enough before the letter, it has to be enough now. It has to be everything. As he listens to Sebastian talk about his drive into town and picking the chocolates for his sister, he feels himself relaxing, and by the end of their meal, Kurt has his priorities sorted. </p><p>"So what would you like to do tonight?" Sebastian asks when they are finished. "Do you wanna go down to the beach again, or stay in and watch a movie?"</p><p>"You pick," Kurt says, stacking their plates and cutlery. As they carry everything inside, they see the bags of groceries still standing on the bar. </p><p>"Well, I got some more marshmallows," Sebastian replies. "If we have them tonight we don't have to share them with Jules and Liv." He reaches inside one of the grocery bags and takes out the pack, holding it up like a prize. </p><p>It makes Kurt chuckle. It's so good to see this side of Sebastian, the part of him that is genuinely excited about simple things like sweets - back in Ohio when they had just started this thing, he often served a ‘get drunk or go home' attitude, like that was the only way he knew how to enjoy himself. The most alcohol they had this week was some beers on the beach and one bottle of wine between them and it had lasted them the whole evening - and yet they had enjoyed themselves very much. </p><p>"Alright. Maybe by the fireplace, then? Just so we won't track in sand again." Kurt hears himself say it and winces a little. "I'll stop being like this tomorrow," he promises. "I just want to have a tiny moment of joy from my work."</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "I'm more of a<em> big </em>moment of joy guy myself." He wags his eyebrows and Kurt rolls his eyes on cue. </p><p>"Let's pack away the groceries first," Kurt says, though he can't stop grinning. He'd take a stupid insinuation over a housewife joke any day. </p><p>Kurt takes one bag and Sebastian the other. They both know their way around the kitchen by now, and Kurt finishes putting away the items in his bag quickly. Sebastian is almost done too, when he opens a cupboard and suddenly yelps. Kurt can hear something crash to the floor, and then Sebastian is yelling in pain, hands clasped over the side of his face.</p><p>Kurt spins around to look at him, his heart lurching into his throat. "What happened!?" he shouts. He sees a large can on the floor and another one on the kitchen surface. </p><p>"I opened the door and a fucking can fell out, right on my face," Sebastian mutters from between his hands. He is bent over, groaning loudly.</p><p>A switch flips inside Kurt, and he goes into immediate damage-control mode. He steps up to Sebastian. "Did it hit your eye?" Sebastian doesn't say anything and just continues to clutch his face, groaning quietly. "Is your eye okay, Sebastian?" he demands. </p><p>Sebastian opens his fingers a little to reveal his eye. He carefully peers out and blinks a few times. It is filled with tears, but looks unharmed. </p><p>"Can you see me alright? Blurry? Double vision?" Kurt asks.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head.</p><p>"Okay, let me see the rest," Kurt says. When Sebastian keeps clutching his face and even turns away a little, Kurt sighs and grabs him by the shoulders. "I wasn't asking," he states firmly. "Let me see it."</p><p>Looking more surprised than affronted at Kurt's tone, Sebastian faces him and lowers his hands. A tear rolls down his cheek and he sniffs a bit. "Stupid fucking can. I tried to catch it," he mumbles. </p><p>Kurt pays him no heed. He lifts Sebastian's chin with his finger and inspects the angry red mark on his face. He presses a thumb against his cheekbone and the side of his nose. Sebastian pulls back a little, making a low noise in the back of his throat, but Kurt is satisfied- the skin is intact and nothing seems broken. "Okay, we need ice," he says, and turns to the fridge. </p><p>"I didn't bring any," Sebastian says weakly, but Kurt just shakes his head. </p><p>"Anything will do. Ice cubes, frozen peas. I'll slap a piece of frozen pizza on it if we have nothing else. If we cool it right away, you'll be fine." He rummages in the ice drawer and pulls out a bag of frozen cranberries. Perfect. He covers the bag in a tea towel and hands the makeshift compress to Sebastian. </p><p>"Oww," Sebastian whines as Kurt presses the cold pack to the growing bruise.</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry," Kurt says quietly. "But it really is the best thing for it." Sebastian sniffs again.</p><p>"Come on, let's sit down," he adds, gentler than before. He leads Sebastian to the couch in the living room, glad that they can navigate their way there without tripping over a pair of shoes, and that the couch is no longer littered with their things. He grabs a pillow and places it behind Sebastian's back. Sebastian sighs and lets his head drop back against the couch. Kurt makes him sit up again right away.</p><p>"Keep your head up for a bit," he says sternly. "It's better for the swelling."</p><p>Sebastian looks at him from the side, with one hand on the compress. "Kurt Nightingale takes no shit, huh?" he says. </p><p>Kurt shrugs, a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you are okay," he says softly.</p><p>"Thank you," Sebastian says, no further tease forthcoming. He just looks at him curiously, but before he can ask anything, Kurt cuts him off. </p><p>"How about you just sit there and take it easy, and I get the fireplace burning? I think I learned a thing or two from last time," he suggests, and with a wink, adds, "and I know you love telling other people what they are doing wrong."</p><p>"Ha!" Sebastian lets out, and then winces, pressing the compress back to his cheek. "So do you!"</p><p>"I know," Kurt replies, pleased that he got a little rise out of Sebastian, even though he feels a bit sorry that it caused him to hurt himself. He gets up and starts stacking the logs. </p><p>Much to his credit, Sebastian only adds helpful comments, and a lot faster than their first time, Kurt gets a fire going. He brings out the marshmallows and skewers, and it is then that he <em>really </em>learns what it means that Sebastian is the youngest sibling. </p><p>
  <em>Can you stick them on for me? I only have one hand… I need to be sitting back, maybe you should hold them in the fire…</em>
</p><p>"If you're going to ask me to blow on them next, you're out of luck," Kurt announces, handing Sebastian a perfectly grilled gooey marshmallow. "You're really milking this."</p><p>"Of course," Sebastian admits. "Though it was probably<em> you</em> who stacked that can there in the first place." His voice is teasing, and yet Kurt rises to the bait.</p><p>"I wasn't even <em>near</em> that cupboard," he protests. "It's not my fault you suck at grocery Tetris."</p><p>"I was always more of a Mario cart boy," Sebastian replies, chuckling and biting into his marshmallow. "Maybe Julian set it up as a trap last time."</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes, but he doesn't argue. Instead, he eats sticky marshmallows and thinks of Guillaume and what he has told him about the Smythe siblings. He wishes he and Finn could have been brothers from birth. </p><p>Their happy bubble lasts until Sebastian gets up for a bathroom break. When he returns, he is holding the compress in his hand and looking rather miserable. "Liv is gonna kill me for showing up in her wedding portraits with a shiner," he announces. "Look at this. If it gets any darker I'm gonna need drag queen levels of make-up to cover it up."</p><p>Kurt scoffs. "Let me see it," he says, and waits until Seastian sits back down and the fire lights the side of his face. </p><p>The ice pack has limited the swelling, and the skin around Sebastian's cheekbone is a pale red with a darker shadow right underneath his eye. A raised ridge where the edge of the can caught his bone is already turning purple. Kurt shakes his head. "The wedding is in three weeks. This will last ten days, tops. We'll put some Arnica on it before bed and you'll be fine. If anything, there might be a bit of a shadow left, but that's nothing some highlighter won't fix."</p><p>He holds his hand out for the compress. "You can take a break with that and cool it some more later. I'll put it back in the freezer." </p><p>When he comes back, Sebastian is sitting with his knees drawn up, looking like he is a little on edge about something. </p><p>"Kurt?" he starts, and Kurt feels this is probably something he should be sitting down for. His stomach drops. Does he know about the letter? Did he notice anything off about Kurt? (he thought he'd been hiding his feelings pretty well so far). How, though? He hasn't been to their bedroom yet, and even if he had, Kurt has put the letter back the way it was and… Before his mind explodes, he decides to push through. </p><p>"What?" he asks quietly.</p><p>"Why...how come you know all this stuff?" Sebastian asks. "What to look for, what to do...how long a bruise like this lasts?"</p><p>Kurt is a little taken aback. This has nothing to do with the letter <em>at all </em>and he needs a moment to compose his words. Years of locker slams, dumpster tosses and slushies flash before his eyes. </p><p>"I caught my face on the edge of a locker in freshman year," he says carefully, running his fingertips over the right side of his face. It didn't leave a scar- on the outside. He sees Sebastian's posture relax a little, but it's not the full answer. Kurt realizes that maybe he owes Sebastian this story. After worrying about Sebastian's past all afternoon, maybe it is only fair that Kurt finally tells him about <em>his</em> past, full disclosure, and lead by example. He hadn't planned it to come out like this, but then he hadn't planned on finding that letter either. He takes a deep breath and puts on a thin smile. </p><p>"I was...quite happy for my growth spurt in sophomore year, because I grew just enough for the locker slams to catch me here-" he briefly marks his shoulder at collar bone level with the side of his palm, "instead of here." He draws his hand over his jaw. "Which made it a lot easier to hide at home. Still, I am familiar with <em>drag queen levels of make-up</em>." </p><p>Sebastian stares at him, his eyes flicking back and forth from his shoulders to his face, as if he can see the ghost of bruises past. "Locker slams?" he asks quietly.</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "A daily ritual. Just like the dumpster tosses, slushy facials and lunch trays getting dumped over my head." He pauses. "Some of it hurt. Most of it was just disgusting. I hated the dumpster tosses most, because you never knew what was inside; bags and bags full of expired tater tots make for a soft landing- wood and metal scraps from the workshop do not. I broke my wrist once and got two tetanus shots over the course of my highschool career."</p><p>By now Sebastian's jaw is hanging slack, and he is looking at Kurt like someone has shot his puppy. "Wh- why did this happen?" he asks, though he sounds as if he already knows the answer and is dreading it.</p><p>Kurt raises his eyes and looks straight at him. "I think you know," he says softly, and he can see that Sebastian does. There is blank and painful horror in his eyes, recognition, and a trace of something like shame. </p><p>The eye contact becomes too much, and Kurt looks away, finding a spot in the fire to rest his eyes on, watching a burning log slowly crumble apart. "When mediocrity sees excellence, it is threatened." </p><p>He smiles a little. "Being in Glee club helped most of the time, but even within their group, I was too different. Not one of the guys, but not really one of the girls either. I could sing girl songs, but not at competitions. It was like they were proud and ashamed of me at the same time." He scoffs. "Story of my life, I guess."</p><p>"Why didn't the teachers do something?" Sebastian asks. He sounds genuinely shaken.</p><p>"Most of them had no idea how to handle it. They just advised me to tone it down so I'd be less of a victim. And some of them...participated. My worst nicknames came from my cheerleading coach. <em>Lady face, doll face, Porcelain, Lady Hummel-</em>" He pauses. "It spread down the line of popularity from the jocks and the Cheerios to the regular students and soon everyone was just calling me ‘dumpster princess' or ‘Slushy queen'. If the teachers did it, so could they." </p><p>He swallows. "I even tried listening to their advice. I tried toning it down, mostly for my father's sake- but then, realizing I couldn't, I came out instead. Which...while feeling good, also made the abuse worse."</p><p>The log in the fire splits in two, one part crumbling off into ash to reveal a bright orange glow underneath. It almost looks like molten metal. Kurt stares at it until it feels like it is burned into his corneas and his eyes start tearing up. There's one part of his story left, and he isn't sure where to start. </p><p>"It was like they had permission now. I was fair game. I was the only one out at my school and there was no one I could turn to for help. Then I met Blaine, and it felt like he was the only one who understood what I was going through. He had been bullied too, and he reminded me that I needed to believe in the courage within myself and stand up to them."</p><p>Sebastian smiles a little. "And that helped?"</p><p>Kurt laughs mirthlessly. "God, no. He meant well, but that actually made everything worse. I confronted one of my bullies in the locker room, hoping I could intimidate him into leaving me alone. I thought he was going to beat me up and I was ready to fight back, but instead he grabbed hold of me and- kissed me." He sucks in a breath. "Well, I say <em>kissed</em>, but it felt more like...him showing me that he could take whatever he wanted, and that I was powerless to stop him."</p><p>He shrugs awkwardly, shaking his head a little. "It frightened me, but in the end it probably frightened him even more, because a few days later, he cornered me and threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone."</p><p>"Jesus Christ," Sebastian lets out.</p><p>"No, he wasn't much help either," Kurt jokes idly, but Sebastian doesn't laugh.</p><p>"What happened then?" he prompts, his voice rough as nails.</p><p>Kurt shrugs again. "It got worse and worse. There was no way to avoid him. He and his buddies patrolled the school looking for trouble, and he'd always find me. I tried everything- staying in one classroom until the bell for the next class had rung, hiding in the girls' bathroom during breaks. I faked my dad's signature to get out of gym class for weeks so I didn't have to be in the locker room. I was terrified that one day I was going to run into him there alone, and that scenario only had two outcomes." He pauses, swallowing hard. It feels like a lifetime ago, but he still remembers the dread, and the absolute despair. </p><p>"The guys from Glee club tried talking to him, but it didn't work. At some point, it began to feel like I was only postponing the inevitable. All the running, all the hiding; it began to affect everything. I couldn't do it anymore. Then my dad found out, and he demanded that the boy be expelled. The school board said there wasn't enough evidence."</p><p>While he speaks, Sebastian is silent, but Kurt can feel him next to him, can hear his uneven breathing as he holds and releases breaths in between parts. This is not what he has been expecting, Kurt knows that much. </p><p>"...so I went to Dalton until the situation had deescalated," he finishes. "There were talks, the boy repented, and the storm had passed."</p><p>It feels like a middle ground. He wants Sebastian to know it was serious, that he did not waste his dad and Carole's money for tuition on a whim, but at the same time he doesn't want to make it sound <em>too</em> bad, because even after all this time the whole ordeal makes him feel faintly ashamed. He ran, after all. So much for <em>courage.</em></p><p>Deep inside, he knows that he shouldn't be, and that even if David wouldn't have really killed him in the end, the desperation was there and so was the fear. In a just world, that alone should have been reason enough for the situation to be taken seriously. But no real attempt on his life was made and he lives to tell the tale, ergo it can't have been that bad, and some nights when he thinks about it, he feels like a fake and a drama queen. Other nights, he wakes up drenched in sweat from a nightmare where he was trapped in a dumpster and brought to the garbage disposal like Woody in <em>Toy Story III</em>; so it's really a mixed bag. </p><p>"I had no idea," Sebastian says, sounding utterly shaken. "I thought…"</p><p>"That Blaine and I were just ‘walking on sunshine' puking rainbows until you came and stirred things up?" Kurt teases, hoping to lighten the mood a little.</p><p>Sebastian snorts. "Yeah. I guess. Something like that. Maybe with a pet unicorn and lots of pink, frilly bows on your outfits." As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he frowns. </p><p>Kurt can see the moment it clicks in his mind and he wants to start taking it back. He quickly shakes his head.</p><p>"It's what we <em>wanted</em> everyone to think," he assures him. "It was a strategy. If we didn't show them how much their words and actions really hurt, they might get bored and move on. Which, in Blaine's case, kind of worked." </p><p>He leaves out that, unlike Blaine, <em>he</em> never really found acceptance at McKinley; that even in his senior year, his campaign posters were besmirched and his anti-bullying campaign was ignored in favor of pixie sticks. How right up until the end, he was never included in the informal ‘bros' of Glee club, and could forget about getting a lead in the musical. There was enough old hurt out in the open already now, and in the larger scheme of things, losing senior class president or Tony doesn't seem that important anymore. </p><p>"So if that's the impression you got, our strategy worked," he concludes, absolving Sebastian of any guilt he may have accumulated during the telling of this story.</p><p>Sebastian nods slowly, taking it all in. </p><p>"More marshmallows?" Kurt offers lightly, and Sebastian accepts the out, though Kurt can tell he has given him something to think about. He has to remind himself that this is not something Sebastian is used to doing, this sharing and connecting, and that what came so natural for him and Blaine is something Sebastian needs to learn. It has to be enough for now. So, he makes them more sweets, and they stick to neutral topics until it's time for sleep. </p><p>They brush their teeth in silence, standing shoulder to shoulder in front of the mirror. Under the bathroom's harsh white light, Sebastian's bruise looks even worse than it did before. His eye is slightly swollen shut and Kurt helps him cover the entire bruise with Arnica cream from his toiletry bag. (He sees the look in Sebastian's good eye when he realizes the weight behind why Kurt would carry it with him, but neither of them say anything about it.)</p><p>Once Kurt is satisfied, he washes his hands quickly and they turn out the lights on the way back to the bedroom. After Charlotte's phone call last night, Kurt had secretly hoped that maybe they'd use tonight to get a little closer physically, given that it is their last full day of privacy. The emotions of the day have caught up with him however, and he is exhausted.</p><p>As they climb into bed and turn to each other for the perfunctory goodnight kiss, Kurt can see that he is not alone in his tiredness so they don't waste time before turning out the light. Kurt falls asleep almost the second his head hits the pillow.</p><p>*****</p><p>
"Ah!" Kurt yells as he wakes up with a start a few hours later. His heart feels like it's going to pound through his chest and his breath is coming out in sharp bursts. The left side of his body aches with the ghost of past pain as the clash of the metal lockers reverberates around his brain. The room is still dark and he stares up at the ceiling with wide eyes as he tries to calm himself down. <em>Just a nightmare.</em></p><p>His ears are still ringing with the memory of noise and he shakes his head a little to dispel it. As his brain finally starts to catch up with his surroundings, he turns to his right, eyes seeking out his boyfriend in the dark. Sebastian isn't there. The bed lies empty beside him, and when he stretches a hand over to stroke the sheet, it's cold. He's clearly been gone a while.</p><p>Kurt sits up in the bed, casting his eyes around as if Sebastian might suddenly materialize in front of him. When he doesn't, Kurt rubs his hand over his eyes and shivers as a breeze washes over him. His hand falls to his lap and his eyes drift over to the French Doors, thrown wide open so that the cool night time sea air flows in, billowing the curtains.</p><p>Through the sheer fabric, Kurt sees Sebastian sitting on the swing, his silhouette dark against the light of the moon. Kurt slowly climbs out of bed and reaches for his poncho, taking it outside.</p><p>Sebastian looks lost in thought; his knees are pulled up in front of him, the arch of his feet pressed into the edge of the seat. He is clutching his toes in his hands, staring out over the water with his chin resting on his knees.</p><p>"Hey," Kurt offers, his voice a little raw. "Can't sleep?"</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head, not meeting Kurt's eyes.</p><p>"Does your face hurt?" Kurt asks. The darkness half-obscures Sebastian's face, but he can still see parts of the bruise standing out against his skin.</p><p>"No."</p><p>Kurt pauses. He remembers Sebastian telling him he'd sometimes come out here at night to think when he can't sleep, and the last thing Kurt wants to do is intrude, but at the same time, he can't just turn around and go back to bed. Sebastian may not be hurting physically, but he is definitely not alright.</p><p>"May I sit down?" he asks carefully.</p><p>Finally, Sebastian turns to face him. He looks exhausted, and his eyes are puffy. He nods, uncurling his body and shifting a little on the swing to make room, and Kurt walks over, his worries increasing with every step. He sits down and offers Sebastian his poncho. Sebastian takes it, but doesn't wrap it around him. Instead, he rubs the material between his fingers, clenching his fists around the fabric. </p><p>"I'm so sorry," he blurts out, his voice breaking a little. </p><p>"Huh? What for?" Kurt asks, going over their day, their week. Is this about their fight again? They'd already made up, hadn't they? And it was just as much Kurt's fault as Sebastian's, if not more, so why- </p><p>"For calling you <em>princess</em>," Sebastian whispers, and his voice is filled with such self-loathing Kurt feels it cut through his soul. "And all of those other things I said to imply you were less of a man. I didn't get it. I mean, I <em>thought </em>I got it after you asked me if you were ‘boy-pretty', but…"</p><p>"Bas…" Kurt starts, but Sebastian cuts him off.</p><p>"No, please, Kurt. I need you to understand. I honestly didn't think....I didn't know…" He breaks off. He slumps forward and hides his face in Kurt's poncho. </p><p>Kurt is a little shocked. Is that what kept him awake after hearing Kurt's story? He told him about bruises, broken bones and death threats, and Sebastian is worried about <em>words</em>? He sits up properly and deliberates carefully before he speaks.</p><p>"It was different by the time that I met you," he says gently, putting one hand lightly over on Sebastian's shoulder until he lowers his hands and the cloth from his face. "I was better equipped to handle it. You said nothing I hadn't heard a thousand times before-"</p><p>"But that's just it!" Sebastian protests. "You shouldn't have had to hear that a thousand times. You shouldn't have had to learn to<em> handle it</em> - none of it should have happened in the first place!"</p><p>Kurt pulls up his shoulders. "In an ideal world, no. But that's not <em>your </em>fault, Sebastian."</p><p>"I know that," Sebastian lets out, his voice tight with emotion. "But I <em>hate</em>-" he gasps for breath, "myself for being a part of it. For repeating what others had already said-" He breaks off and raises his hands to his face again. They are shaking, his fingers balled to fists, and for a moment Kurt is afraid he means to beat himself with them, but then he groans in frustration and lets his hands slip into his hair instead, his fingers gripping it tightly. He presses his eyes closed tightly and takes a few deep breaths. </p><p>"I need to tell you something," he finally says, lowering his hands. He opens his eyes and stares at his lap for a moment, before turning to face Kurt. "About me and Julian. It won't change what I've done to you, but-" He hesitates. "Please hear me out?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If we were posting installments, this is where you’d scream having to wait a week ;) Luckily you can just click 'next'!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Chris &amp; Grant; thank you for giving your characters a voice, a heart and a soul- however poorly they were treated in the series, it was you that made them unforgettable.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt's heart skips a beat. He is suddenly wide awake. "Now?" he asks, though he can read Sebastian's answer in his eyes. For him, there'll be no sleep until he has gotten this- whatever it is- off his chest.</p><p>After Kurt feeling all afternoon that he needed to hear the story right away, and then deciding it was not the right time, <em>now</em> suddenly feels too soon. He has just woken up, he hasn't had time to prepare, it is dark and he is only wearing a sleep shirt… Anticipation and fear threaten to overwhelm him when he realizes: this is why now is the best moment. When they are both vulnerable and open and the truth can flow between them without quips and layers and shields.</p><p>"Okay," he whispers.</p><p>Sebastian lets out a shivering breath. "Okay." </p><p>"Shall I make us a coffee?" Kurt offers, stalling one more time. Sebastian shakes his head. He wraps his arms around himself and fixes his eyes on the water.</p><p>"Okay, so," he starts, shrugging a little. "I guess I have known from an early age that I am gay. I mean, it wasn't difficult to figure out; when the other boys at school were all playing house with the girls, and I only wanted to play with the boys." </p><p>Kurt smiles a little at that; he used to feel that way too.</p><p>"Then when I got older and was allowed to go and watch Julian sing with the Warblers, or go to his Lacrosse games...well the sight of those tall, muscular older guys in shorts and pads, <em>whew."</em> </p><p>He looks up and offers Kurt the echo of a sly smile. It feels like he is keeping up appearances, because his face turns inward and pensive as soon as Kurt smiles back and the gesture has served its purpose.</p><p>"It didn't make me feel different from the other kids. It was just something about me like my eye color or my birthmarks. My parents were ridiculously supportive of anything I did, whether it was Star Wars themed birthday parties, tap dancing lessons or walking around the house in my mom's heels, and I had Julian and Liv, who showed me it was okay to be who we were. Liv and I liked boys, Julian just liked whoever he liked at that moment regardless of their gender, and none of us was worth more or less than the other."</p><p>A small smile appears on his lips again, lingering a little longer and more genuine before it fades.</p><p>"But when I was about ten, I also learned that not everyone felt the same way. That outside of my family, Olivia was <em>okay</em>, but Julian was unacceptable. Being associated with him was bad enough to have to change schools just to get away from him. Bad enough to rip families apart."</p><p>Kurt gasps. "You mean you heard why Cooper had to leave?" </p><p>Sebastian nods.</p><p>"I wasn't supposed to. I think the Andersons' official reason was something about ‘eliminating distractions for his senior year', and ‘reevaluating core values' - but the social circles our families move in were too small for anyone to be fooled by that crap; almost all of their sons attended Dalton Academy. Everyone knew, and their younger siblings at my school had the scoop within hours. </p><p>"Julian was at home, temporarily suspended, Cooper was gone, and word spread it had to do with kissing. I straight up went to my parents and asked: <em>why can Olivia and Brian kiss all the time and Julian and Cooper can't?</em>"</p><p>Sebastian looks up at Kurt, making a face at the naivety of his ten-year old self. Kurt's heart bleeds for him. He himself had learned that lesson so much earlier, being singled out at kindergarten and ballet class and being told what he could and couldn't do as a boy, but no matter what age, children having to deal with bigotry is always heartbreaking.</p><p>"My parents said that Cooper's parents had been wrong to react the way they had, and explained that sometimes grown-ups and parents make mistakes. They also said that when<em> I </em>was older, I could kiss whoever I wanted, provided they wanted to kiss me too."</p><p>Kurt presses his lips together in a touched smile, feeling a surge of gratitude for Greg and Charlotte. That was parenting done right. "Did that help?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head."It confused me, because I hadn't even made that connection yet. I wasn't interested in kissing anyone at the time. But then, for the first time in my life, I realized there were people out there who had opinions about who I <em>ought </em>to be kissing. And that I, too, had the potential to destroy families by kissing the wrong person."</p><p>Kurt gasps. He briefly covers his mouth with his hand and looks at Sebastian. That's a hell of a lesson for a ten year old to take away from what happened. </p><p>"That must have been a heavy burden on you," he whispers. </p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian agrees with a sigh. "The whole thing made me-" he pauses and looks at Kurt in the half-dark, searching for words. "Not shy, per se, but...<em>reticent</em> to explore my feelings. I tried to focus on other things. I read a lot. Kept my distance from other boys at school. I figured it was safer that way." </p><p>Kurt remembers that sentiment very well, and he nods. Flights into fantasy worlds, singing, putting on little shows for his dad or watching golden age Hollywood films on loop - all a lot safer than looking at boys.</p><p>"But," Sebastian continues, "I was lonely. I got really close to Julian, especially after he moved back home. It was clear that he was lonely too. There was this sadness about him that made me want to...fill in the void that seemed to be in his life, you know? Kind of like the way a child tries to replace a parent after a divorce."</p><p>Kurt represses a soft sob. "Yeah, I know," he lets out. He had never quite been able to fill the void in his father's life either, though he had tried so very hard.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Sebastian offers, but Kurt waves him off. "I'm okay," he assures him. "Go on."</p><p>Sebastian studies him for a moment as if to see if he really should, but then he decides to continue. "Jules and I would talk, he'd let me help with his art pieces, I kept him company. But it wasn't enough-" </p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "Of course it wasn't enough- I get that now. But yeah, anyway, he left, quite suddenly, and I guess he felt guilty because he sent me a lot of postcards-"</p><p>Kurt's stomach lurches. They are getting closer to what he needs (and dreads) to hear. He can't interrupt now, even though he wants to. <em>Yes, from Europe, I read them, but what happened after? </em>He bites his tongue and nods, urging Sebastian to go on.</p><p>"I missed him so much. I still had Olivia to talk to, but it wasn't the same and even watching Audrey Hepburn movies didn't feel the same way it had before...As annoying as he was sometimes, I missed my brother. Meanwhile I started at Dalton, and, being around so many boys full time…" Sebastian shakes his head again. </p><p>Kurt expects him to make a lewd remark, something about ‘having entered paradise', but what Sebastian says next completely takes him by surprise. </p><p>"It <em>terrified</em> me. They were so friendly, and I enjoyed hanging out with them, but I had this constant voice in the back of my mind warning me that if we got too close, they'd expell me or make the other boy leave."</p><p>"Oh no," Kurt whispers. "That's awful."</p><p>"Apparently, at that year's parent-teacher conference, they told my parents I had ‘problems connecting to the other kids', that I was anti-social, and they blamed it on reading above my level-"</p><p>"That's ridiculous!" Kurt lets out, feeling indignant on Sebastian's behalf. Sebastian had been traumatized, his family life disrupted by a close family member suddenly moving to another continent- <em>books</em> weren't the cause of his problems!</p><p>"It was," Sebastian agrees, "but I <em>was</em> in my own world a lot, and so they tried to get me to engage with the other kids by having me join the Lacrosse team and the Warblers. I had wanted to do those things ever since I had seen Julian do it, but at the same time, I was afraid to, you know? <em>Because</em> Julian had."</p><p>Kurt nods, hurting for this young boy who seemed so anxious to protect his family that he was holding himself back from everything he enjoyed.</p><p>"But come sophomore year, nothing had really changed and it worried my parents a lot. I couldn't really explain to them that I was so scared that being gay was going to get me kicked off the team or the Warblers, or even expelled from school completely, that I just wanted to keep the other boys as far away from me as possible…" </p><p>Kurt puts a hand on Sebastian's knee, squeezing softly. He is leaning in, wanting so much to be able to reach inside and comfort that child inside of Sebastian. Sebastian offers him a small smile, leaning in a little too until their shoulders are touching.</p><p>"I think Olivia knew what was going on, and she contacted Julian. Together they worked out this idea that I was to go and visit him, so he could help me figure myself out.</p><p><em>The guidance Julian would fail to give him</em>, Kurt adds in his mind, feeling his insides grow cold.</p><p>"My parents didn't let me go right away- I had to finish sophomore year first, and they wanted Julian to prove that he could look after me. He'd been couch surfing from place to place up until then and they didn't want me to live like that. So he settled down in Germany, got a place and a job in Hamburg, and in the summer of 2010, I could come over."</p><p><em>This is it,</em> Kurt thinks. <em>The summer where the postcards end. The summer before The Letter.</em> He can feel his heart hammer in his throat.</p><p>"It was amazing seeing him again. Julian had taken time off from his job to spend as much time with me as he could. For a while, it was like having my big brother back again. Sure, he had this super-cramped studio apartment, but he let me sleep in the bed while he took the couch, and we spent our days visiting the museums and checking out all the sights. In the evenings, we went to see shows and evening openings of art galleries-" </p><p>Sebastian almost looks a little shy at the description of his culture-filled holiday, but Kurt honestly can't imagine a better city trip than that, so he tells Sebastian so. "Of course I would have gone shopping a lot too," he adds playfully, and it cracks Sebastian up for a moment. His eyes sparkle and he looks at Kurt gratefully.</p><p>"There's a ‘but' coming, isn't there?" Kurt asks carefully. </p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian sighs. </p><p>"After a couple of weeks, Julian decided it was time for me to try the nightlife in Hamburg. As it turned out, his job was organizing stag nights at the Reeperbahn. It's mostly known for being Hamburg's red light district, but it is also the home of many pubs, clubs, casinos, musical theatre and concert venues. He'd do everything from booking accommodations, finding venues and acting as an interpreter; to planning bar crawls, hiring stripper dates, dealing with the local police if his group ran into trouble…he knew everyone in the scene, and he told me he could get me into any bar at any time down that street, without a fake I.D."</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <strong>HAMBURG, JUNE 2010</strong>
</p><p>"Don't look too eager, now. Just chill. Pretend like you've been here a hundred times before, okay?" Julian said, though he was the one who looked the most eager. </p><p>"Okay," Sebastian mumbled. "Got it." </p><p>"Alright! That's my Sebster. Let's go."</p><p>Julian hadn't been kidding when he said he knew everyone. The bouncer greeted him by name and let them in without further question. </p><p>Sebastian really had to try hard not to stare at everything as they made their way in. He followed Julian, who was pushing through the crowd to make his way to the bar. There were so many guys, in various states of undress, dancing, socializing, flirting. Julian shouted out a name, and a bartender beamed at him, holding out his hand to clasp over the bar. They exchanged a few words, and before Sebastian knew it, he had a beer bottle in his hand. A wedge of lime was pushed into the bottle neck.</p><p>"What's this?" Sebastian asked, looking at the label.</p><p>"Tequila-flavored beer," Julian said over the noise of the music. "Just a warm-up. Think of it as hydrating before the game." He bumped his bottle against Sebastian's in a toast, plopped the lime further into his own bottle and took a large sip. </p><p>Sebastian followed suit. The beer tasted different, sweet and sour at the same time, and Sebastian wasn't really sure he liked it, but drank it anyway, taking small sips and looking around. "This place is great!" he shouted out over the music.</p><p>"It hasn't even started yet!" Julian replied. His eyes were roving over the crowd, every now and then holding up his beer in a salute or giving someone a wave or a nod, like he was making a headcount of everyone he knew in there. Two men came over to greet them, and for a moment Sebastian thought he was seeing double. They looked like twins, wearing nearly identical shirts and haircuts. Both of them were incredibly attractive, and Sebastian quickly took another sip of his beer so it looked like he was just chilling. </p><p>They both hugged Julian in turn and exchanged a few words in German. Sebastian had no idea what they were saying, but the gist of it was clear; they were happy to see his brother, and clearly liked him. It was strange to hear his brother speaking German. Sebastian knew Julian had a rudimentary grasp of French from school and their maternal grandparents, but he had never heard such a raspy language come from his brother's mouth. It suited him and the place they were in, and Sebastian tried to quietly repeat some of the words he picked up under his breath, inaudible over the music. Then Julian turned to him and switched to English. </p><p>"This is my brother, Sebastian," he said proudly. "Seb, this is Ole and Stefan." </p><p>"Hey, <em>na</em>?" Stefan said, stepping up to him to wrap his arms around Sebastian to greet him like he had Julian. Sebastian froze a little, not sure where to put his hands. It was like a hug, but not really- Stefan's hands were on his shoulders and he sort of brought his body closer without touching his chest. Sebastian settled for loosely holding Stefan's hips and he glanced at Julian over Stefan's shoulder. His brother winked at him, and he felt reassured that he wasn't making a fool of himself by doing something wrong.</p><p>"Basti, so nice to meet you," Ole said, holding out his hand after Stefan had stepped away. Sebastian took his hand and shook it, relieved that there wasn't some kind of secret handshake involved. </p><p>"God, you're even more gorgeous than your brother," Ole said in a sultry tone. Sebastian could feel his face grow warm, and he quickly took a sip of his beer. </p><p>"Don't worry, he's with me," Stefan said confidentially, linking his arm with Ole and winking at Sebastian.</p><p>"You're not brothers?" Sebastian blurted out, and Julian laughed. </p><p>"I told you! Guys, one of you needs to grow a beard or something," he said, still chuckling. "Don't worry, Seb. <em>Everyone</em> thinks that. They do give off this incest-y vibe..."</p><p>"Fuck you, Jules," Ole said fondly, "we just have good taste." </p><p>Sebastian breathed out, shooting his brother a grateful look for the save. </p><p>Stefan said something to Ole in German, who nodded. "We're gonna make the rounds," he announced, including Julian and Sebastian. "Maybe we'll see you later. It was a pleasure meeting you, Basti."</p><p>Sebastian watched them go and then turned to Julian. "How much German do you speak?" he asked curiously. </p><p>"Enough to get around," Julian replied. "But most people our age speak English here, too. They get it in school. They're a bit hesitant to admit it, though. I usually have to buy them a few drinks before they try." He chuckled. "Do you want another beer or something stronger?"</p><p>"I'll have what you're having," Sebastian said, feeling a little flushed. It was amazing how Julian's friends had just accepted him as part of their circle right away. Did they even know he was gay, or would they have greeted anyone Julian brought in like that? <em>Basti</em>. It sounded German. It sounded like he belonged. <em>Most people our age-</em> Even Julian seemed to have forgotten he was eight years younger. He was part of them now.</p><p>Julian held out his hand for Sebastian's bottle and took them back to the bar. He came back with two longdrinks filled with sprigs of mint, ice cubes and slices of lime. He handed one to Sebastian. "Mojitos," he announced before Sebastian could ask. "Cheers!"</p><p>Sebastian sipped it through the straw and his eyes went a little wide. This drink really had a kick in it. </p><p>Julian winked. "Welcome to Hamburg," he said, grinning. </p><p>Sebastian could feel the alcohol in his stomach, warming everything from his core. He watched the people on the dance floor. Not all of them were good dancers, but they <em>danced</em>. He wondered if he could, too.</p><p>"Do you dance, or is the Warblers still a stool choir?" Julian said into his ear, reading his thoughts. </p><p>"Uh-" Sebastian started, but Julian already took his cocktail out of his hand and put it down on a bistro table together with his own, which was already half-drained. "Come on," he said. "I'll teach you."</p><p>-</p><p>"But I've seen you dance with the Warblers and at the club," Kurt interjects. "You're good! I mean, your ballroom dancing needed some work, but-"</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "Thanks, babe. But back then, I really sucked. I had <em>no </em>idea what to do with my body. But I was a fast learner…"</p><p>-</p><p>They reached the dance floor and it was like someone flipped a switch on Julian- just like that, his dance moves were<em> on.</em> Mouthing the lyrics of the song, he undulated his torso to the music, pushing his chest out and back, rolling his shoulders and letting the body wave flow down to his hips and his legs. He claimed the space he needed, and the other dancers moved out of the way, giving him room to do his thing. Quite a few were giving him admiring looks. His own little brother was one of them. </p><p>Sebastian did a little side-step in place as he watched, subtly hiking up and dropping his shoulders while he tried to feel the beat. He had taken tap dance lessons as a kid, but freestyling was something else. </p><p>It didn't take long for Julian to attract a dance partner. A gorgeous dark skinned man in a crop top danced up to him and wrapped his arms around Julian's neck. Julian smiled at him and put his hands on the man's waist, bringing their bodies together. His hands were splayed on the man's skin, his fingertips slipping under the edge of his top, and Sebastian could see Julian's partner throw an extra sway in his hips in reaction to his touch. It made Sebastian's mouth go a little dry. </p><p>"Do you wanna watch, or do you wanna dance, honey?" A voice behind him said in his ear, and Sebastian turned around, feeling a little caught. It was Stefan, who smiled at him, shimmying his shoulders, and Sebastian realized he was not being sent off the floor- he was being asked to dance. With a back glance at his brother, Sebastian nodded, and subtly tried to copy what he had seen Julian, rolling his shoulders and his hips in turn.</p><p>"Oh, <em>yes,</em> Basti, work it," Stefan praised, and he stepped a little closer, synchronising his moves with Sebastian's. When Sebastian saw Julian slot a leg between his partner's thighs, bringing them even closer together, Sebastian reeled Stefan in to try the same. He got a little more than he bargained for when he felt Stefan's arousal press against his leg. </p><p>Automatically, he moved his hips back and shot Stefan an apologetic look, but his dance partner just shrugged and danced on. Had he noticed at all? Sebastian was saved by the arrival of Ole, who happily took his place with Stefan, and Sebastian spun on his heels like that was something he had been planning to do all along. Courtesy of the rum in his Mojito, he spun right into someone's back. </p><p>"Oh, shit, I'm sorry!" Sebastian said immediately, stumbling a little to catch his footing. </p><p>The man he had fallen into turned around and snarled at him in German, showing him a half-empty glass and a quickly spreading stain on his shirt. </p><p>"I'm <em>really </em>sorry," Sebastian said again, looking around for someone to help him translate what the man was saying. Stefan and Ole were immersed in their dancing. Where was Julian? </p><p>"Do- do you want me to get you another drink?" he offered, miming a glass in his hand and pointing at the man. The man repeated what he had said, showing him the glass again and grabbing his wet shirt between his fingers, pulling the part with the stain up off his chest. Sebastian was beginning to panic a little. </p><p>Then his brother was there, quickly stepping between him and the guy, putting a hand on the man's shoulder and talking to him like they were old friends. He was nodding at the ruined shirt and the bar, nodding and smiling. Sebastian didn't understand what he was saying, but he could see the other man's body language change from angry to mollified. He nodded, and Julian took out his wallet and pressed a few banknotes into the man's hand.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Julian asked Sebastian as the man made his way to the bar. </p><p>Sebastian nodded. "Thanks man. I really didn't understand what he was saying. I guess he was pissed off-"</p><p>Julian shrugged. "Fuck him. There are people like that at every bar. All they want is the cash for a couple more drinks. It's nothing personal."</p><p>"You're really good at this stuff," Sebastian said. "I guess you learned it through your job?"</p><p>"It might just be my calling," Julian joked, putting an arm around his brother's shoulder. </p><p>"I'm sorry for interrupting you and your friend," Sebastian said, looking around to see if Julian's dance partner was still around, but Julian shook it off. "A random," he said. "I only have one brother." He pointed at the small stage at the edge of the dance floor. "Let's make our way there, it's almost time for the show."</p><p>Sebastian looked at the stage sceptically. "Is this what I think it is?" he asked. </p><p>"Better," Julian promised, looking very pleased with himself. "Let's stand here, this is the prime spot."</p><p>Julian had the timing down, because just as they had taken their place, strobe lights started flickering, and the DJ sampled Salt-N-Peppa's <em>Whatta Man</em> into the current song. Cheers went up, and the regulars pushed forward to the stage, knowing what was coming. </p><p>The song faded out and the stage went completely dark. The low double thump of a heart beat rose, speeding up until it sounded like it was racing, before stopping abruptly. Three spotlights snapped on, and three men in suits stood waiting, their chins on their chests and their hands clasped behind their backs. The entire audience was quiet, until one man- part of the act, Sebastian found out later- yelled out: "Show us what you got!" and everyone cheered.</p><p>The dancers' heads snapped up, smug smiles on their lips, and the music set in. They started dancing to a fast-paced song, in sync at first, then freestyling their way to three corners of the stage. One dancer ended up right in front of Julian and Sebastian, and Sebastian glanced at his brother, who was grinning broadly. Once they were at their positions, the men started stripping. The jackets were the first to go.</p><p>Sebastian didn't exactly have a pristine browser history, but he had never seen such bodies in real life before. The man in front of them was chiseled, ripping open his shirt to reveal gleaming pecs with tight, hard nipples and a six pack, undulating expertly downwards to draw their eyes down to his rolling hips. His face was partially hidden by large aviator glasses, so it was even easier to focus on his body alone, making it almost anonymous. He teased, hooking a finger under the waistline of his pants and letting it snap back before turning around and running his hands down his butt, gripping it with both hands and arching his back to push it out.</p><p>Sebastian took a small step back, but was pushed to the front again by the men behind him, all wanting to get closer. The stripper turned around again and took a hold of his waistband again. With a practised tug, he tore away at it. The side seams came apart, and he was left in a shining pair of golden speedos that were bulging at the front. The crowd cheered, and the man danced on, thrusting and pumping his hips out on the beat. Hands reached out to touch him, and he stepped to the edge of the stage, letting the audience fondle him freely- though over the speedo only. </p><p>"They get down to business a little quicker here than at the bachelorette parties," Julian shouted over the music. "None of that blindfolds and bananas game."</p><p>"Okay…" Sebastian replied, secretly feeling like a bit more of a warm-up would have been welcome. The golden briefs were wiggling in front of his eyes.</p><p>"Don't be intimidated," Julian continued. "It's probably fake. Most of the dancers tuck and strap on. Safety measure, you know?" He made a clawing, grabby motion with his hand and laughed. "It's all just fantasy."</p><p>The stripper sank to his knees and bent his torso back, giving his audience more visuals to take home with them for the night. His gyrating hips were close enough to touch, and Julian reached out to push a banknote into his briefs, running his hands up the man's abs as he pulled his hand away. The man looked over at them and briefly lifted his glasses, making eye contact with them for a moment to wink at Julian. </p><p>"Now <em>that </em>was <em>not </em>fake," Julian said appreciatively. Sebastian shivered. He suddenly felt young and out of place. This man looked old enough to be one of his teachers. It was weird and confusing, because he did not want to think about this guy's day job.</p><p>Julian handed him a five euro note, but Sebastian shook his head. His brother looked at him from the side and frowned. Sebastian could feel his heart sink.</p><p>"Don't you like him?" Julian asked over the music. "Do you want to go over to one of the others?" He nodded to the other side of the stage. Sebastian shrugged. Julian studied his face for a moment, then leaned in.</p><p>"Do you wanna go home?" he asked, his mouth close to Sebastian's ear. </p><p>Sebastian could feel his cheeks burning. He wanted his brother to have a good time. He knew that maybe he hadn't exactly been delivering what Julian had expected of the night. They hadn't seen each other in such a long time, and Sebastian had been eager to show Julian that he wasn't a little boy anymore; but the show had made him so uncomfortable that he really just wanted to leave. He looked at Julian and nodded. </p><p>Without saying a word, Julian just smiled and nodded. He pocketed the money he'd been holding and placed a comforting hand on Sebastian's shoulder, turning him around and guiding them through the crowd towards the exit.</p><p>As soon as the cool night air hit his senses, Sebastian felt better. It was cleaner out here, calmer, less claustrophobic- and without fake penises in his face, it was enough to calm him down instantly.</p><p>Julian's apartment was only two blocks away from the Reeperbahn so it didn't take long for them to get home. Seeming to sense that Sebastian needed some time to gather his thoughts, Julian kept quiet. He lit a cigarette as they walked and Sebastian tried hard not to watch him.</p><p>"You want one?" Julian asked when he caught Sebastian's forth or fifth glance. </p><p>Sebastian shook his head. "I don't smoke," he said quietly, feeling childish.</p><p>Julian shrugged. "Neither do I, really."</p><p>"Oh," Sebastian said quietly, not knowing what to say to that.</p><p>Julian let them into his little apartment and Sebastian walked into the ‘living room', sinking into the sofa with a tired sigh. He heard Julian clatter around in the kitchen a little before he emerged with two cold beers in his hand. He handed one to Sebastian and flopped down into the sofa next to him, cracking open the can and taking a long gulp from it.</p><p>Sebastian opened his own can and sipped it slowly, bracing himself for the round of questioning he knew he was about to get. He knew he owed his brother an explanation for letting him down.</p><p>"So," Julian started, putting his almost empty can down on the floor next to him and lighting up another cigarette before leaning back against the cushions and looking at his little brother. "What was that back there? Do you have a boyfriend back home you're worrying about?" He paused, taking a drag from the burning cigarette. "Or a girlfriend?"</p><p>"What?" Sebastian let out, making a face. "<em>No!</em>"</p><p>He quickly took another sip of his beer. He didn't need any more alcohol, but he also didn't want to sit there empty-handed. He pushed the toes of his shoes against the cheap carpet on the floor. It had a large stain by the foot of the couch, shaped like Africa. "I'm not into girls," he added reluctantly.</p><p>Julian waited for a few moments, but patience had never been one of his strong suits. "Then what is it, Seb? You used to talk to me, man. Remember? You and me, at the workshop? You'd talk my ear off about your school projects?"</p><p>Sebastian frowned at him. "Yes, and then you left!" he snapped. "Because you'd rather be here, pushing money in people's underwear, than be hanging out with me." </p><p>Julian's mouth dropped open a little and then snapped shut.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Seb," he said quietly. "I know I was a terrible brother to you..but I'm here now and I want to help. So what's up?"</p><p>Sebastian sighed, drawing every ounce of strength he had to say the words he hadn't ever said before. "I'm gay," he finally whispers, staring at the stain. "But I've never had a boyfriend."</p><p>"<em>Oh</em>," Julian said quietly, in a tone that Sebastian couldn't quite place. " Have you ever…" he continued, but Sebastian cut him off before he could ask. </p><p>"I'm not out, okay?" he said defensively. "I mean, I think Liv knows; and mom and dad probably do too...but-" He shrugged awkwardly. "I've never actually told them and I sure as hell haven't told anyone at school." </p><p>He paused. "I don't even <em>know </em>anyone else back home who's gay. So, to answer your question: <em>no,</em> I haven't." He couldn't help the bitterness lacing his words, the frustration at being so lonely and afraid, of feeling like he was the only one. Somehow he didn't think Julian had ever felt like that.</p><p>Julian looked at him, his beer half-raised to his lips, his mouth hanging open a little. Then he screwed his eyes closed tightly and shook his head. "Wow, I'm sorry," he offered, looking at his brother again. "When Liv called and said you were having trouble with the boys at school, I thought…"</p><p>"That I was like <em>you?</em>" Sebastian asked. He felt miserable. He wished he could be more like his big brother; but at home, without him there, he hadn't dared to. </p><p>"Well, yeah," Julian admitted, Sebastian could hear the guilt in his voice. "But it's okay," he added quickly. "You'll get there. Everyone does things at their own pace. I just didn't know." He let out a deep breath and remained quiet for a moment, mulling it over.</p><p>"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable tonight," he finally offered.</p><p>Sebastian shrugged. "It wasn't <em>all </em>bad," he admitted. "I liked the dancing. I'm just not ready to, you know...Grab a stranger's crotch or whatever."</p><p>Julian grinned, a little of his cheeky mood returning. "I hear you. Hey, we'll take it down a notch then, okay? No more bars for now."</p><p>"I'm technically not even allowed in them anyway," Sebastian reminded him. </p><p>"That has never stopped <em>me</em> from anything! Let me tell you a little story about Amsterdam..."</p><p>-</p><p>"What?" Sebastian asks. Kurt realizes he has been staring unblinkingly at Sebastian for at least a minute, trying to see the little boy behind the cocky, jaded teen he has come to know. </p><p>"I'm sorry. I was thinking how a bar like that would have made <em>me</em> incredibly uncomfortable at that age too, even though I was out by then. I just never thought that <em>you</em>-"</p><p>Sebastian offers him a shy smile and casts his eyes down. "I know," he admits. "By the time you and I met, I had made it a part of my highschool persona to make it seem I was born like this, but…"</p><p>Kurt nods. It humanizes him, in a way. He just wishes he'd known all of this earlier. In school, it had felt like he was the only one who struggled with finding his place in the world as a gay person. There was Blaine, who was confident but out in a muted, under-the-radar way, often making people forget about his sexuality when they talked, and then there was Sebastian, outspoken and in-your-face, never letting anyone forget that he was having <em>all</em> the gay sex, and enjoying it. It had felt those were the only two options out there, and that Kurt was doing it wrong by not being sure in which direction he was heading.</p><p>"It's reassuring to know you weren't always like that," Kurt says lightly. "I hate to think of a five-year old making passes at his music teacher."</p><p>Sebastian snorts. "That's really disturbing, babe."</p><p>"So what happened then?" Kurt asked. There was still a disconnect between the Sebastian he met in highschool and the one who had just come out as a closeted virgin to Julian.</p><p>"Well, I guess Julian felt like he had failed to be a good rolemodel to me, and he wanted to make up for that by immersing me in the queer community. He invited as many of his friends to his tiny apartment that would fit in, and we'd have house parties for nights in a row. I talked to a lot of people, drank a <em>lot </em>of German beer and heard loads of coming-out stories..."</p><p>He paused. "And at one of those parties, I met someone who was unlike anyone else I had ever met..."</p><p><em>Michael</em>, Kurt's mind supplies, and it feels like his heart sort of shrinks into itself, looking for cover in his chest. </p><p>"Michael," Sebastian continues, startling Kurt back from his thoughts by pronouncing it with a soft, almost French <em>ch</em> instead of a hard k, and the tiniest pause between the <em>a</em> and the <em>e</em> so both vowels are audible. <em>Micha-el.</em> </p><p>"<em>Micha</em>," Sebastian adds, and the endearment curves his lips with a melancholy smile that Kurt envies and hates at the same time.</p><p>-</p><p>"Ah, Finally!" Julian pulled Sebastian away from a conversation about American reality tv and wrapped the crook of his arm around the back of Sebastian's neck, pulling him closer. </p><p>"Hey Micha! Get your fine ass over here, princess, I want you to meet someone," Julian called out.</p><p>"Watch yourself, girl. I'm a <em>queen</em>," a tall, slender young man volleyed back easily from the doorway of Julian's apartment, and he sauntered in. Sebastian could only stare. The man was wearing heels, bright blue shorts, and a button-up shirt and tie, cinched by a beige underbust corset. </p><p>-</p><p>"Oh my god, like Galliano's?" Kurt interrupts, momentarily forgetting everything as his mind matches up the description of this look with what he remembers from the 2010 fashion runways.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs helplessly.</p><p>-</p><p>It seemed like an absurd, eye-sore combination, not to mention uncomfortable, and yet he wore it as easily as if it had been a shirt and jeans. When he reached Julian and Sebastian, he gasped exaggeratedly, lifting a hand to his lips. Three of his fingers had glittery nailpolish on them. </p><p>"Oh my lord, Jules, it's your mini-me!" he let out, his accent coming through a little. He looked from Julian to Sebastian, scrunching up his face and pouting his lips a little. "Aren't you just<em> a</em>-dorable." He shook his sleek, shoulder length brown hair out of his face with a practised gesture like he was auditioning for a shampoo commercial.</p><p>Sebastian didn't know what to say. Michael talked like a girl, and from up close he could see he was wearing mascara and eyeliner. Yet he also had a five-o-clock shadow and his shorts didn't exactly hide the fact that he was a guy. Seeing his waist so strapped in made Sebastian feel weird. He had met several of Julian's friends already, quite a few of whom were gay, but none of them were so obvious about it as Michael.</p><p>"This is my baby brother Sebastian," Julian said, closing his arm around Sebastian even tighter and ruffling his hair with his other hand. "Sebster, this is Michael, my first and best friend here."</p><p>"Uh, hi," Sebastian said, feeling awkward. Julian finally let go of him and he held out his hand. Michael took it and gave him a firmer handshake than he had expected.</p><p>"Enchanté," he said, letting go of Sebastian's hand with a little flourish of his fingers. "I <em>love </em>that I finally get to meet you. I would have come sooner but I'm a busy girl, you know? Work, work, work…Julian and I work together, and with him off on his little va-cay, I have twice the clients. You Americans don't have the only city that never sleeps."</p><p>"You work with him?" Sebastian asked, looking at Julian. He nodded.</p><p>"Micha recruited me," he said.</p><p>"I did. The night I met him, he basically took over my tour and I knew right away he had talent. Julian is really the best at showing other people a good time. I think it's his calling. We split our clients, you know- he gets the hets, I get the gays; we split the girls and everyone's happy. Sometimes we let our stags and bachelorettes <em>mingle</em> a little, that's when the real magic happens!" Michael fanned himself with his hand.</p><p>Sebastian struggled to keep up. Michael talked fast, loud, and every word from his mouth sounded like it had an exclamation mark.</p><p>Julian looked from one to the other with a smile on his face. "Okay, why don't you chat a little more about how great I am. I need to go talk to Klaus, he owes me like five hundred euros," he announced, giving Sebastian a wink before walking off. </p><p>Michael watched him go with a fond smile on his face before turning back to Sebastian. "Julian has told me so much about you," he said pleasantly. "All good things, sweetheart. But now I'm dying to hear it all from you."</p><p>"Me?" Sebastian asked, a little startled.</p><p>"Yes. What do you like?" Before Sebastian could answer, Michael continued. "I mean, I know you're in school, Julian told me you are like, the best at <em>everything</em>, like a total scholar, that is <em>so</em> good of you. But what else do you do? Are you an artist, like Jules? I'm a bit of an artist myself," Michael continued in one breath. "I mean, my body is my canvas-" He gestured at himself.</p><p>"I, uh...play lacrosse," Sebastian said, a little uncomfortable being dropped into a conversation where a stranger was congratulating him on his academic achievements when he hadn't even heard the other's name before.</p><p>"Oh, sports, I love it! I was never very athletic myself but you know what they say, if you can't be an athlete, you can be an athletic supporter, right? So I <em>supported</em> a lot of jocks." Michael shot him a beaming smile and struck a pose with his arms up in the air and one leg hiked up like he was doing a cheer. "Go, team!" </p><p>Sebastian didn't know if he should be intrigued or repulsed. He felt like he and Michael lived on entirely different planets. </p><p>"Hey, you know what else Julian told me?" Michael lowered his voice and leaned in a little. "That you and I have something in common. We are both-" </p><p>Sebastian felt his insides turn to lead. <em>Don't say it</em>, he begged silently. He did not want to hear it from his mouth. He looked around to see if anyone was listening. He didn't want people to think he had anything in common with a guy in heels and a corset calling himself ‘queen' and ‘girl'; it was too confusing, too out there. It was exactly what he had been trying to avoid for years. He steeled himself for what was coming, getting ready to tell Michael to take his business and his outfit elsewhere.</p><p>"...Aries," Michael finished, his dark-rimmed eyes glittering. "Like Lady Gaga and Elton John! Isn't that <em>fabulous</em>?"</p><p>Sebastan made a face. He was both relieved and disappointed, having amped himself up for a fight. </p><p>"I don't believe in the zodiac," he said. "And I have nothing in common with them, or with <em>you</em>," he said, wanting to lash out and put distance between himself and all of this confusion. "Because for one, I am not dressed like an idiot."</p><p>Michael's smile faded, and he made a point of slowly looking him up and down. "I wouldn't be too sure about that," he replied. "It kind of looks like your jacket was piped with <em>bias</em> tape."</p><p>-</p><p>At the beach house, Kurt lets out a gasp and a laugh before clasping his hands over his mouth. He really needs to remember that joke.</p><p>-</p><p>Sebastian let out a huff of breath. "Look, I don't know what Julian has told you about me, but I am <em>not</em> like you, okay princess?"</p><p>"Girl, I <em>know</em> you're not," Michael countered, putting a hand on his hip and pointing the index finger of his other hand at Sebastian's face. "But let me tell you a little something. You're not Julian either. Do you think I just let anyone call me anything they want? That privilege is <em>earned</em>, honey. So you can try to act all tough and pretend like you have the upper hand here because I'm in heels and you're not, but you'd be making a big,<em> big</em> mistake. Like the snooty shopkeeper sending that ho Julia Roberts out of the store in Pretty Woman big. And you're gonna lose a lot more than your commission if you fuck with me. <em>Okay?</em>"</p><p>Sebastian just stared at him, feeling intimidated, at a loss for words, and more than a little embarrassed. Michael sighed and mustered him. Then he pulled up the edge of his corset and rolled his shoulders. He let out a resolute breath and softened his features into a smile.</p><p>"Darling, I know you're only sixteen and you have a lot left to learn, so for Julian's sake, I'm offering you a fresh start. Here we go." He put on an exaggeratedly preppy smile and held out his hand. "<em>Hi</em>, I'm Micha!"</p><p>"Hi," Sebastian mumbled, feeling stupid. They shook hands again. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Hi, Sorry, nice to meet you," Michael teased, then flipped his hair again. Sebastian smiled a little despite himself, feeling even more stupid and very much sixteen.</p><p>He was relieved to see Julian back walk up to them, though he also hoped Michael wouldn't tell on him. One look at him showed a dazzling smile on Michael's face and he figured that maybe he'd get lucky.</p><p>"Everything okay here?" Julian asked.</p><p>"Oh yes, your brother's a darling," Michael said. "We're going to be <em>such</em> good friends!" He clapped his hands a little and hopped on the balls of his feet for emphasis.</p><p>"I knew you crazy kids would hit it off," Julian said, smiling at the both of them. "But now I have to steal Micha away for a moment for grown-up business."</p><p>"Ooh," Michael let out, raising his eyebrows and shooting Sebastian very wide eyes. "Duty calls." He exchanged a look with Julian, who cocked his head at a group of guys standing by the door, looking reluctant to come in. Micha nodded and turned back to Sebastian. </p><p>"It was a pleasure to meet you, Basti. I will see you again soon, okay?" And without waiting for a response, he surged forward, planted a kiss in the air next to Sebastian's ear, and sauntered off towards the group.</p><p>Sebastian stared after him. "Where are they going?" he asked, watching Michael leave with the men.</p><p>"Who knows?" Julian said mysteriously, and left it at that. "What do you think of him?"</p><p>"For real?" Sebastian asked. "I don't know. He was wearing a corset, Jules."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>Sebastian shrugged awkwardly. "So...it's weird."</p><p>"Did you tell him that?" Julian asked, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>Sebastian shrugged again. "Yeah. He was all like, up in my face with it." </p><p>When Julian gave him a blank look, Sebastian let out an irritated sigh. "You know what I mean. He's a bit much. The way he talks..."</p><p>Julian narrowed his eyes a little. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But this is the reason I left Ohio, you know? These people here are my friends, and none of them are gonna turn on me, and <em>leave</em>, or push me away, when people disagree with the way we live. They are living their own truth, and there's a lot you can learn from them. I don't expect you to dress like them, or talk like them, or even <em>like </em>them. But I <em>do </em>expect you not to be rude."</p><p>Sebastian looked at the ground in front of his feet and nodded. "Is he your boyfriend?" he asked. </p><p>Julian shook his head. "Nah, we're just friends. It'd be bad for business."</p><p>"Just what exactly do you <em>do?"</em> Sebastian asked.</p><p>"We show people a good time," Julian replied. "It's that simple."</p><p>-</p><p>Kurt isn't quite sure what to say. So far, Michael isn't at all like he imagined. He sounds fierce- but it also sounds like Sebastian didn't like him at all. How does that add up to the story he has constructed in his head about them as lovers? And what exactly was the deal with those guys Michael had left with?</p><p>"I know, I sound like a dick," Sebastian says. "And I guess I was. I had just never met anyone like him in real life. It scared me a little."</p><p>"Were you...attracted to him?" Kurt asks carefully. </p><p>"Definitely not at first sight," Sebastian admits. "That outfit, and the way he talked; all of those were distractions. But he showed up again the next day, when it was just the three of us, and he had brought something that would help me change my mind."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Playlist:<br/>[Stripclub] <a href="https://youtu.be/hEmH1EgJbEs">Whatta Man</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Daftydraw’s Family; I’m really sorry for my mood swings and bitchiness over the last few months, brought on by frequent sleepless nights and stress over getting every detail right. Thank you for keeping me hydrated at various intervals (when I forget to get up to get a glass of water after 4 hours) and hashing out plot point ideas with me when I got stuck. You probably won’t ever read this story and that’s okay (honestly I’d be kinda mortified if you did) but if you do stumble across it, thank you for everything.</p><p> CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains a brief nc-17 scene</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The doorbell rang. Sebastian looked up from his book and at Julian. The room was still a mess from the night before, and he was pretty sure Julian had said that maybe they needed to relax for one day in between parties, which suited him fine because he wanted to finish his book. "Did you order pizza?" he asked.</p><p>"Nah, we still have some from yesterday. I ordered <em>Micha.</em>" Julian got up and walked to the door. Before he opened it, he turned to look at his brother. He pointed a finger at him.</p><p>"Don't be rude."</p><p>"No promises if he's wearing a tiara," Sebastian mumbled, but at the glare from his brother added, "Yes, yes, I'll be nice." He put his book away and offered up his palms in a gesture of surrender.</p><p>Julian opened the door and Michael stepped through right away. "I thought you were going to leave me in the hallway, babe," he said as he breezed in. "Are you still that drunk from last night you couldn't cross your 1 room apartment faster than that?" He snapped his fingers a few times, then kissed the air next to Julian's face and turned to Sebastian.</p><p>Michael was wearing ballet flats, black leggings and a baby-blue top with a wide neckline that hung off one shoulder (by Sebastian's description, Kurt concludes it had batwing sleeves, which were definitely a look back then. He is soaking all of this information up. He has a top like that, though it's in Ohio). His hair was in a messy bun on top of his head. It was definitely less couture than the evening before, but it still sent a pretty clear message. He saw Sebastian taking him in, smiled, and curtsied ironically.</p><p>"No corset today?" Sebastian asked, rising to the bait.</p><p>"No honey, today I wanted to <em>breathe.</em>" Michael took in a large breath and let it out dramatically, making a face. "I already regret it. You should air the place out a bit, Jules," he added in a low voice, much lower than Sebastian expected from him.</p><p>"Yeah, after," Julian said, smiling.</p><p>"After what?" Sebastian asked, but the two of them just grinned.</p><p>"What are you reading?" Michael asked instead, nodding at the book.</p><p>"Oh, uh...<em>A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy</em>," Sebastian replied, with a little shrug. "It's funny."</p><p>"Oh my god, yes, I <em>love </em>it!" Michael agreed eagerly.</p><p>"You've read it?" Sebastian asked, cocking his head with a frown.</p><p>"Hell yes," Michael replied enthusiastically. "One of the first books I read completely in English after <em>The Meryl Streep Story</em>. I know I don't look it-" He splayed his hand on his chest and struck a pose, jutting a hip out, "but reading is my life. I <em>devour</em> biographies. I <em>live</em> for historic fiction. Fantasy, <em>oh!</em> Honey, if it's got a magical heirloom sword and a reluctant farmboy hero, I'm your girl."</p><p>Again, Sebastian caught himself just staring at this person. A part of him was still yelling warnings in his ear; the rest of him was simply intrigued. Before he knew it, Michael was telling him about a fantasy series with dragons and seven houses competing for a throne and how if he ever was going to do drag, his drag name would be ‘Alynna Cockshaw'. Sebastian had no idea what he was talking about, but he listened breathlessly.</p><p>"Well, my drag name would be ‘Julia Impatience'," Julian drawled. "Can you nerds please wrap it up so we can get our party on?"</p><p>Sebastian frowned at his brother. "What party?" he asked. "I thought we were staying in today."</p><p>Michael was reaching into his bag and pulled out a ziplock bag. He held it up. "The after-party, girl," he announced. "Left over from a little visit from the Tooth Fairy last night."</p><p>Sebastian sat up and saw the bag held several hand-rolled joints. His stomach lurched. He had never smoked weed before, but he knew a few older Warblers who did. The invitation to try had always held more intimacy than he had been willing to accept from the other boys; the sneaking off to the lacrosse field, the <em>sharing</em> (because never had he seen them with more than one or two between them), the secrecy. He already had enough of a secret to keep.</p><p>He looked up at Julian. "I want my own," he announced, trying to sound braver than he felt.</p><p>Julian laughed and shot his best friend an incredulous look, like ‘can you believe my little brother?'</p><p>"Oh, he's a Smythe alright," Michael agreed. "Can you ask nicely?"</p><p>Sebastian slowly raised his head to face him, going over Michael's outfit and biting back on his opinion of it, until his eyes locked on Michael's. They were a deep, chocolate brown, rimmed with dark, curled eyelashes. The kohl around them was crumbly, fading to grey smudges in the crease of his eyelids; a few stray specs of glitter stuck to his brow and the side of his nose. Sebastian licked his lips and cleared his throat. "Please, can I have one?" he asked finally, trying for the voice that usually got him his way with his parents.</p><p>Michael looked at him for a moment without saying anything, then broke their eye contact with a frustrated groan. "Ugh, I'm such a sucker for bad boys on their best behavior!" He opened the bag and held it out.</p><p>Feeling a little giddy, Sebastian took one. He rolled it between his fingers. He had no idea how to proceed from here, and looked at Julian. His brother also took one from Michael's bag and let himself fall into the couch next to Sebastian.</p><p>"So is this a thing you do now?" Sebastian asked, stalling a little. Julian shrugged and took a lighter from his pocket.</p><p>"Sometimes," he replied non-comittantly, placing his joint between his lips and flicking the lighter on.</p><p>Sebastian watched him closely, still holding his own joint between his fingers. Julian lit it and inhaled, hollowing his cheeks and sucking the joint to life. The tiny flame briefly lit his face before shrinking to a glow inside the blackening tip. Without taking his eyes off it, Julian handed Sebastian the lighter.</p><p>He took it, but kept watching Julian, who had pinched the joint between his thumb and index finger, pausing a moment with his lips closed before pulling it away and exhaling a small cloud of smoke.</p><p>Meanwhile, Michael had kicked off his flats and sank down tailor-fashion on the floor in front of them. When Sebastian made no move to light his, he cleared his throat. Sebastian tore his eyes away from Julian to look at him. "Can I have that?" Michael held out his hand.</p><p>For a moment, Sebastian thought he wanted his smoke back, but then he realised he was holding the lighter. With a nod, he placed it in Michael's hand. He watched a second time, becoming aware of the air around him starting to smell tangy sweet.</p><p>"Do you want me to light yours?" Michael offered, smoke curling from his lips as he spoke.</p><p>Sebastian quickly shook his head and held out his hand for the lighter again. Imitating what he had seen them do, he held the flame against his joint and sucked in a breath. It was warmer than he had expected, and tasted faintly burnt, with a sharper taste that lingered in his mouth. He let the air out almost straight away.</p><p>Julian punched him from the side. "You have to hold it in," he chided him. "Otherwise you're just wasting it."</p><p>"I <em>know</em>," Sebastian replied irritably, "just, my throat tickled." He coughed a little for good measure.</p><p>Julian smirked and shook his head a little, taking another hit, and Sebastian copied him again, drawing the warmth deep into his lungs this time. Again, it tickled, but he was determined to hold it in at least as long as he saw Julian do it.</p><p>It felt like his lungs were burning inside his chest, but the longer he held it, the easier it felt. The warmth seemed to seep into his stomach and dissolved there, taking away his fears of doing it wrong. He breathed out, laughing a little at the novelty of seeing his breath like that. He looked over at Julian to tell him something about winter in Ohio, but Julian had rested his head back against the couch, his eyes closed, and he was letting small slivers of smoke seep out from the corners of his mouth. The thoughts evaporating from his head, Sebastian watched him, forgetting his own joint until it almost felt out of his hand. He fumbled for it and quickly stuck it between his lips instead. He glanced at Michael, hoping he hadn't noticed, but Michael had his eyes closed as well. Sebastian was the only one looking around the room, taking everything in.</p><p>He looked at the worn furniture, the mess of the party and the half-closed slats in front of the window. Daylight was peeking through, and in the rays of light, he saw specs of dust dancing. Sebastian drew on the joint again, and tried to hold it as long as it took to follow a tiny fleck of dust as it traveled from one ray to the next, briefly winking out of existence in the shadow. He lost focus, tried to fix his eyes on another particle, then gave up. He closed his eyes and tried to let the air escape his mouth slowly like he had seen Julian do, letting his jaw hang a little slack and relaxing his lips. It felt like he was sinking into the couch, a feeling he recognised from the few times his parents had let him drink wine at dinner, but without the spinning sensation in his head.</p><p>He could hear the noise of the street outside, but in here, the only sound was their breathing- deeper and deeper sighs as their bodies relaxed and welcomed the THC.</p><p>Something brushed against his leg and he opened his eyes. Michael had kicked off his flats and laid down on his back on the ground, propping his legs up on the couch between Sebastian and Julian. His toenails were polished a deep, shimmering blue. With lazy, heavy-lidded eyes, Sebastian followed the long line of his legs to where they met and showed the contours of his crotch. Sebastian had never seen a guy in leggings before, and definitely not laid out like this, on the floor by his feet.</p><p>Michael opened his eyes and was looking up at the ceiling, his eyes a little glazed over. He didn't seem to be aware of Sebastian's gaze, and so Sebastian didn't look away. He watched Michael's chest rise and fall, the skin stretched over his collarbones, deep shadows in their hollows, the hard line of his throat. When Michael raised the joint to his lips between two slim fingers, elbow out and wrist arched, sucking it until the cherry glowed, it almost seemed like a dance move, slow and graceful like at the ballet. A ballerina with a stubble.</p><p>Sebastian snorted a little, amused by his own thoughts, and then noticed his own joint had gone out. Just as he was wondering if he should light it again, Michael said:</p><p>"Maybe that's enough for now, Basti." He was looking at Sebastian, blinking slowly.</p><p>Later, Sebastian would wonder about the exact moment where he had given up trying to prove himself and had just given in to the experience instead, but it was well before Michael's suggestion, which seemed reasonable, so he put the rest of the joint on the side table next to the couch.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Michael asked, not moving from his position. Sebastian nodded vaguely. Pleased with that answer, Michael gave him a little nod in return and closed his eyes again.</p><p>From the side, he heard a faint snoring. Sebastian looked over at Julian and saw he had fallen asleep.</p><p>"He always does that," Michael commented, and Sebastian wondered how he knew what he was thinking even though he had his eyes closed. "That's why we started. He said he couldn't sleep."</p><p>It filtered through Sebastian's brain slowly, and he turned back to look at Michael. "Did he say why?" he asked.</p><p>Michael let out a long breath. It was faintly grey with the last diluted smoke from his lungs. It took a long time before he replied. "Homesick, maybe. Or maybe the things he is running from keep following him in his mind." He opened his eyes and looked at Sebastian again, but not knowing if Julian's friend knew about Cooper, Sebastian didn't volunteer that story.</p><p>"What about you?" Michael asked, his eyes still on Sebastian.</p><p>"What about me?" Sebastian echoed.</p><p>"What are you running from?"</p><p>"Who says I am running from something?" Sebastian replied, knowing he should have been more up in arms about this bullshit impromptu therapy session, but his limbs felt heavy and his mouth was dry, and he just couldn't seem to summon up the energy.</p><p>"We are all running for something," Michael replied, and he turned to look at the ceiling again.</p><p>Sebastian paused, letting the thoughts run through his head.</p><p>"My parents sent me here because they think Julian can help me come out," he said finally. "Like it's some kind of trick I need to learn before I can advance to the next level. You know, to ‘be who I am meant to be' or whatever." They thought he didn't know, but he did.</p><p>Michael pulled his legs off the couch and pushed himself up into a sitting position, but Sebastian kept his eyes firmly on the ray of light coming from the window.</p><p>"I'm not out, because it's none of their business. I don't need that kind of attention," he added, swallowing against his dry throat.</p><p>"Mmm. You mean the attention you think I am asking for, dressing like this?" Michael suggested carefully. Sebastian didn't reply. Michael didn't push. He quietly sat there, leaning his head on his hand, nodding softly as he listened and letting Sebastian decide if he wanted to tell him anything else.</p><p>"I'm afraid of what will happen if I do," Sebastian confessed quietly, closing his eyes. At his feet, Michael gasped.</p><p>A dam was broken. Over the next half hour, Sebastian told Michael about Julian and Cooper and the whole aftermath. About the boys at school, at sports, and how staying away from them was getting harder every day.</p><p>He hadn't wanted to tell him <em>anything</em>, but it was like all of his barriers were- if not gone- <em>softened </em>by the smoke and Michael's sympathetic ear.</p><p>-</p><p>"The rest of the afternoon is a bit of a blur," Sebastian says. "I just kept talking and talking. By the time Julian woke up, I felt like I had never told anyone that much about how I was feeling."</p><p>Kurt nods. He is starting to understand now. It hadn't been love at first sight for him and Blaine either- that had come from mutual understanding, interests, and that feeling that finally, he had found someone who <em>understood.</em> Is that how Sebastian had come to develop feelings for Micha? His question is answered when Sebastian continues.</p><p>"He came over a lot in the weeks that followed. We'd get high and talk. He assured me that I was not my brother, and that while what happened to him was awful, that didn't mean it was going to happen to me too. He told me about when he came out, about his birth family and his found family, and the more he told me, the more I- ...liked him."</p><p>-</p><p>"Hey girl," Michael announced as Sebastian let him into Julian's apartment. Michael was wearing sunglasses that covered half of his face, and a tank top over wide, lilac harem pants. It didn't faze Sebastian anymore- as far as Michael's fashion went, this was an almost demure look for him.</p><p>"<em>Na</em>, Micha?" Sebastian greeted Michael, kissing the air beside his face, "Julian's getting us some beer." He followed Michael into the small living room and started picking up a stack of books and magazines from the couch to make room. Michael smiled and sat down, letting his bag drop to the floor and pushing his sunglasses up into his hair.</p><p>Sebastian put the books away and cocked his head. "Did you get highlights?"</p><p>Michael beamed. "Blondes have more fun," he quipped. "Do you like it?"</p><p>Sebastian paused, keeping his face straight as he drew his answer out to tease his new friend. "It's fine, I guess," he finally admitted, and Michael rolled his eyes.</p><p>"I know I look great, I don't need your approval anyway."</p><p>"Sure, princess." Sebastian grinned.</p><p>"Be nice, babycakes, or I won't share my smoke with you," Michael said fondly. "I only have one today."</p><p>"One joint for the three of us?" Sebastian asked, frowning. He sat down on the couch next to him.</p><p>Michael shrugged. "Not everyone in yesterday's party RSVPed so it's all I have left. I won't see the Tooth Fairy until tonight."</p><p>"Why is he called that, anyway?" Sebastian asked. He had gathered by now that the Tooth Fairy was Michael's supplier, but when asked, Julian refused to talk about him. He decided to use the opportunity when Julian wasn't here to find out more.</p><p>Michael shrugged. "Rumour has it that he accepts people's gold fillings as payment, and that he carries a pair of pliers to take them out himself."</p><p>Sebastian winced and breathed in on a hiss, but Michael shook his head and waved his hand loosely.</p><p>"I think it's a myth, something made up to make him sound intimidating. He's lovely, just an old cuddly bear boosting his pension. We all have to make a living somehow."</p><p>"Did you ever get busted?" Sebastian asked.</p><p>Michael smiled. "Almost, once. Thank god Julian was there. He put on his ‘dumb American' act and pretended he was fresh out of Amsterdam. It's legal there, you know? So he was going ‘<em>Hamburg is part of the Netherlands, right? I didn't notice crossing any border? You all sound the same to me…'</em>" Michael snorted.</p><p>"To this day, I can't believe he got away with it, but you know Julian- all he has to do is smile and people just do whatever he tells them."</p><p>Sebastian nodded. He'd seen Julian in action, and he could easily believe the story.</p><p>"So...do you sell other stuff too?" he asked.</p><p>"I don't technically<em> sell</em> anything. I give out party favors," Michael corrected him. "And then I let people tip me for the overall experience."</p><p>He paused, then shook his head. "Not anymore. A friend of mine O.D.ed a few years back. He lived, but it was like this wake-up call for me. I don't want to be responsible for any of that happening, you know?"</p><p>Sebastian nodded. Then, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and glanced at the screen. "Julian says he bumped into someone he knew at the store," he read out.</p><p>Michael let out a slightly exasperated sigh. "Julian, Julian. Well, I guess that means there's more for us. We might as well light it up."</p><p>Sebastian frowned. "Don't you think we should wait?" he asked.</p><p>Michael shrugged. "Knowing Julian, he'll be <em>bumping into</em> them for a while," he replied, winking. "And I could really use a hit. I'm super-tense." He rolled his shoulders leisurely and rubbed his back against the couch.</p><p>Sebastian watched him, feeling his mouth go a little dry. Maybe it was the echo of Michael's insinuation about Julian, or the anticipation of the high - or maybe, it was just the sight of Michael rubbing himself against their furniture like a cat. Sebastian shook himself a little to try and clear his head. "Okay," he said hoarsely, clearing his throat.</p><p>Michael picked up his bag and took out a ziplock and a lighter. Without further ado, he stuck the joint between his lips and lit it up. Sebastian watched him closely, the way his lips pressed against the paper as he drew in, his chest rising, his eyes slipping halfway closed. Quietly mesmerised, Sebastian wondered what it would be like to kiss him, pressing his lips against Michael's in place of the joint. Would he close his eyes too? Breathe in his breath the way he took in the warm smoke?</p><p>Michael's long fingers caught the cigarette between them, his fingernails sparkling, and he pulled it away from his mouth. The smoke curled from his lips and he settled back against the couch again with a sigh, holding the joint out to Sebastian. Suddenly it felt like a lot more than just a smoke. It was a shared vehicle between their lips.</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Michael said, misinterpreting Sebastian's hesitation. "Julian is getting a natural high. He won't mind."</p><p>Sebastian felt his stomach swirl in anticipation as he accepted it, putting his lips over the faintly moist tip of the rolled paper and sucking in the hot air. It burned into his lungs in a now familiar sensation, and yet Sebastian imagined it tasted differently; sweeter, spicier. It seemed to go straight to his head. He handed the joint back, wishing he could hand himself over as easily. He wanted Michael to put his lips on him, breathe <em>him</em>. He wanted him to rub his back against Sebastian to get comfortable in his arms, settling back against his chest.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Michael asked, waking Sebastian from his fantasy.</p><p>"What? Oh. Yeah, sure," Sebastian said quickly, crossing his legs over each other. "Why?"</p><p>"You looked lost for a moment," Michael said, then smiled. "Here." He held the joint out again. It was close to its end. "You can finish it."</p><p>"Thanks."</p><p>Michael drew his legs up under himself and rested his head back, his eyes closed. Sebastian watched him, forgetting the joint as it went out between his fingers. He wanted to touch Michael's hair, trace his fingers down his collarbones and over his chest, grip his waist with his hands like the cinch of his corset- he wanted...a lot more, too. The more he thought about it, the more his body began to want it as well.</p><p>-</p><p>"I didn't act on it," Sebastian admits. "It was too confusing." He shrugs. "I wasn't even sure why I liked him. Maybe it was just the familiarity between us, the way he accepted me right away, even though I was much younger, and closeted at that-"</p><p>Sebastian frowns a little, and Kurt takes his hand. "I understand that completely," he says. It feels like Sebastian is a little ashamed about it, and Kurt doesn't want him to be. Even though a small part of him is insanely jealous, Kurt means it- he really understands what it is like to be a vulnerable, love-starved teenager, latching on to any form of positive attention.</p><p>"What happened then?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs again, stalling a little. "Julian eventually came home, got on our case a bit for smoking without him, we had some beers, and then Micha left." He pauses.</p><p>-</p><p>"Jules?"</p><p>"Hmm?" Julian was lounging on the couch and playing something on his phone. Sebastian had been stalling for a while, trying to breach the topic with every intake of breath, then deciding against it at the last moment. But the longer he thought about it, the less he could keep it to himself.</p><p>"When you first met Cooper...did you know?"</p><p>Julian's posture went rigid. He was still holding his phone, but his thumbs were no longer flying over the screen. "Know what?" he asked, his voice wary.</p><p>Sebastian pulled up his shoulders and folded his arms, tucking his hands under his armpits. "Well, you...loved him, right?"</p><p>Julian lowered his phone and slowly turned his head to face his brother. He looked as if he was only milliseconds away from shutting down this conversation, but now that Sebastian had brought it up, he couldn't stop. "I mean, was it love at first sight?" he pushed.</p><p>Julian's stony expression cracked and he let out a clipped laugh. "It's a bit hard to think about<em> love </em>when your first sight of a guy is him showing his deep appreciation for a Crawford County Day girl in the dorms. I felt a lot of things at that moment, but none of it was <em>love</em>, I can assure you that." His eyes sparkled with mirth.</p><p>Sebastian felt his face heat up. "Yeah, ok," he conceded. "But what about later? I mean, when did you realize...this is it?"</p><p>Just as quickly as the light had entered Julian's eyes at the memory of meeting Cooper, it went out again. "Well it wasn't <em>it</em>, was it?" he said bitterly, "at least not for <em>him</em>." He paused. "But I knew pretty soon."</p><p>Sebastian heard volumes of unspoken arguments and pain in the silence that followed. It was deafening and oppressive. Julian clearly did not enjoy being reminded of what he had left back home, which Sebastian should have known, and now he felt guilty on top of everything. He wished he hadn't brought it up, but it was out now.</p><p>Julian was the one to break the silence with a deep, irritated huff of breath. "What's this about, Seb?"</p><p>Sebastian shrugged and looked down at the stain on the carpet. "Nothing. Forget about it," he mumbled.</p><p>"No, <em>what</em>?" Julian demanded, in a tone that left Sebastian no choice. He had to come out with it- if not to get answers, then simply because he had to explain to Julian he wasn't just bringing up his history without a point.</p><p>"<em>IthinkImightlikeMicha</em>," he said, turning his head towards his shoulder, muffling his voice.</p><p>"What?!" Julian let out, though the incredulous frown on his face made Sebastian think he had heard him perfectly. He felt like sinking into the ground. Maybe the stain could be a portal- if he just stepped on it, it would activate and light would shoot up out of it and he'd slowly deintegrate and be sucked into another dimension where-</p><p>"<em>Micha</em>?" Julian repeated. He had heard him alright.</p><p>Sebastian shrugged awkwardly. "Not at first," he explained quickly. "I mean, he's so strange and sometimes his clothes are just really off-putting, but-" He broke off, feeling frustrated about all of the conflicting things he was feeling. "He's nice. He's positive and energetic, and he's a really good listener-"</p><p>"Ha!" Julian let out. "Only when he's high! Try getting a word in when he's sober."</p><p>Sebastian smirked. "That's true. He does talk a lot, too."</p><p>"I would have never guessed that was your type," Julian mused, and Sebastian wasn't sure how to interpret his tone. Surprise? Curiosity? Amusement?</p><p>"It's <em>not</em>," Sebastian corrected him quickly. "I mean, I like- I don't- I mean- His hair is nice, right?" He wasn't even sure why he felt so defensive, but there was something about admitting that he liked a guy in corsets that felt like it shouldn't be allowed. He definitely wasn't like the strippers they had seen in the club.</p><p>"Hey, it's not my business," Julian offered. He was quiet for a moment, and Sebastian wondered what he was thinking. He desperately needed advice, but it didn't seem like any was forthcoming, and he wasn't even sure what to ask.</p><p>"It's really nothing," Sebastian said, a little subdued. "Like I said, just forget about it."</p><p>Julian pressed his lips together in a show smile and picked up his beer. "To forgetting about it," he said, raised it, and took a long sip.</p><p>-</p><p>"We didn't mention it again after that night, but I noticed that Julian didn't invite Micha over that week. He seemed restless, and we did a lot more during the day than we had before. He was keeping us busy, I think, to stop me from asking any more questions. Maybe he was jealous, too. The following weekend, he insisted that we go out clubbing again, just the two of us. Just dancing, no x-rated shows…"</p><p>Kurt braces himself. He isn't sure why, but it feels like they are heading towards some sort of crash site. He takes Sebastian's hand, like holding on to him now can somehow protect him from what happened in his past. Maybe it is just to protect himself for what is coming.</p><p>-</p><p>"Julian! Julian!" Sebastian and his brother followed the yelling and waving of a man trying to get their attention through the crowd. Once again, despite his age, the bouncer had let Sebastian in without questions. It was a different club than last time, and yet Julian seemed to know everyone <em>here</em>, too. They reached the man, who was standing by a booth and eagerly gestured for them to take a seat. Two young men were already sitting at the table, a bottle of vodka and a collection of upside down shot glasses on a tray in front of them. The man exchanged a few words with Julian in German, who nodded. Seemingly reassured, the man sat down and nodded at them to do the same.</p><p>"This is Kevin. He's from the east of Germany and doesn't speak much English," Julian explained. "They learned Russian there in school instead of English before the Wall came down. He can also <em>drink</em> in Russian, if you know what I mean." He winked and nodded at the bottle of vodka. The man immediately took it as a hint and started turning the shot glasses the right way up and filling them to the brim. "And that's Heiko, and Adrian." The men smiled at him, and Heiko reached over to briefly shake Sebastian's hand.</p><p>"I thought we were going to dance," Sebastian said, eyeing the drinks.</p><p>"We are!" Julian assured him. "We'll have just the one. We don't want to be rude, right?"</p><p>But one shot turned into several, and although Sebastian bowed out after two, Julian kept on drinking, and was now in a heated conversation with his friend, gesticulating energetically. Sebastian had no idea what it was about- even though he had picked up a few words and phrases from his stay, his German was nowhere near good enough to follow a full conversation. It sounded slightly angry- but then a lot of the language did, even buying bread. There was something about the guttural sounds that made them sound threatening.</p><p>Except <em>Micha</em>, Sebastian thought. That word was soft and smooth in his mouth like a sigh.</p><p>"Do you dance?" Adrian asked, leaning over to him, shaking Sebasian from his thoughts. With one glance at Julian, who was still talking and drinking, he nodded and got up. Heiko finished his vodka shot and got up as well, following them.</p><p>Adrian and Heiko were not, as Sebastian had assumed, a couple- or at least not an exclusive pair, because they did not seem very interested in dancing together. Instead, Heiko almost immediately latched onto an older, bearded gentleman on the dance floor, and Adrian gave Sebastian an expectant look. Remembering his last time on the dance floor, Sebastian nodded, but kept his distance- both of the people around him as of Adrian. But after a song or two, moving around had begun to pump the vodka shots around his system, and Sebastian felt himself loosen up. He let his eyes glide over the crowd, copying dance moves as he went along. It felt good; it felt sexy. Feeling a little more daring, he danced closer to Adrian, who got the cue and zeroed in, smiling encouragingly. He stepped closer and brought his mouth to Sebastian's ear.</p><p>"You're a good dancer," he said. Sebastian felt his breath stroke his cheek.</p><p>"I am just copying what I see around me," he replied honestly.</p><p>Adrian laughed. "Aren't we all? Take it and claim it as your own," he said.</p><p>Sebastian smiled and nodded. Adrian's words gave him the extra confidence he needed to let go and own his dancing. He moved the way he saw the others do, and when Adrian's hands began wandering over his body, he integrated it in his dancing, directing him this way and that by which body part he was moving. Sebastian spun around and raised his arms, stretching his body under the man's touch, and felt Adrian's hands tighten. He stepped up behind him and pressed their hips together.</p><p>"You are so hot," Adrian said, and pressed a kiss below his ear. "Do you want to come to the back with me?"</p><p>Adrian's words and the touch of his lips pulled Sebastian from his own thoughts and he pulled up his shoulder, blocking access to the side of his neck. He did not want to be kissed, not like this, not here- and not by this guy. Immediately, his mind flashed to Michael, and he had his answer.</p><p>"No," he said clearly, and looked around for the booth with his brother. He wasn't there. Panic rose inside of him and he stepped away from Adrian. Where was he? His eyes scanned the dancefloor, but he didn't see Julian anywhere. Not at the bar, either. When he started towards the restrooms, Adrian followed, catching up with him.</p><p>"Have you changed your mind?" he asked eagerly. Sebastan shook his head.</p><p>"I need to find my brother," he said. He pushed through the crowd and passed the line that was waiting. Several people protested at that, but Sebastian ignored them. "Julian?" he called out. "Jules?"</p><p>A stall slammed open, and Julian stumbled out, buttoning up his fly. Sebastian's shoulders drooped in relief. "Hey," he greeted him. "I was looking for-"</p><p>His breath caught in his throat as a tall, dark haired man followed Julian out of the stall. Sebastian blinked. "Cooper?" he asked incredulously, his mind flashing to the picture on the wall in Julian's room at home of he and Cooper after winning a lacrosse match..</p><p>"<em>Wer</em>?" the man replied, giving him an irritated look, and glanced over his shoulder at Julian. Julian just shrugged and shook his head, and before Sebastian could look twice, the other man was gone into the crowd.</p><p>"Who the hell was that?" Sebastian asked. "He looked exactly like-"</p><p>"No, he didn't," Julian argued stubbornly, walking up to the sink to wash his hands. "What did you want?" He splashed some water into his face.</p><p>"To go home. I've had enough for tonight."</p><p>Julian turned to face him and grinned mirthlessly. "Really? Already? That was quick… Heiko or Adrian?"</p><p>Sebastian wanted to sink through the ground, suddenly realizing what tonight had been about. Julian had brought him here to get laid? "Neither. Jules, we talked about this, remember? And I don't think my first time should-"</p><p>"Oh, you want it to be <em>special</em>," Julian mocked. "Not like this-" he nodded at the stalls. "All of a sudden, what<em> I </em>do isn't good enough for you anymore?" Then he laughed. "Oh, I get it. You're holding out for <em>Micha</em>!"</p><p>Sebastian did a double-take of Julian's words. Was he?</p><p>"So what if I am?" he asked.</p><p>Julian studied him, and the corners of his lips curled up in a lazy smile. "Well, you'd better make a move then, baby brother. He's not gonna wait forever."</p><p>Sebastian blinked. "What do you mean?"</p><p>Julian let out a long-suffering sigh. "I was going to let you figure it out yourself," he said, slurring his words a little. "but now I am bored with your pining. It kills my vibe."</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Sebastian asked.</p><p>"You. And Micha. He likes you. Get on board."</p><p>Sebastian's heart skipped a beat. "What?"</p><p>"He <em>likes</em> you. And you have a crush on him, right?"Julian stated with the self-assurance of intoxication. "That's why you didn't want to mess around with Adrian and Heiko. You're in loooove..." he added in a sing-song voice, wriggling his fingers in the air.</p><p>Sebastian panicked a little. "Shut up, I am not! I just- what do you mean, he <em>likes</em> me?"</p><p>Julian smiled and leaned in very close. He spoke directly into Sebastian's ear, his breath warm and wet on his sweaty skin. "He <em>wants</em> you, Seb. But you gotta do it right." He straightened up and tried to give his brother a stern look, which was spoiled a little by the leery grin he added on top. "Treat him like a proper lady."</p><p>Sebastian looked at him with wide eyes. "You think I should...ask him out on a date?"</p><p>Julian's smile grew. "Oh yeah, totally. Take him out somewhere nice." He pointed at him. "Tomorrow! I'll text him that you're meeting him tomorrow." He fished his phone out of his pocket and started typing.</p><p>"Wait, what? Tomorrow? No! No, Jules, don't!" Sebastian made a grab for Julian's phone, but his older brother held it up and out of the way easily and kept on typing.</p><p>"Please, don't," Sebastian begged. "I'm- I'm not sure-" Julian's fingers stopped.</p><p>"Sent," he said victoriously. "Now maybe we should head home, huh? You need to get your beauty sleep!" He laughed at his own deviousness, and Sebastian felt nausea rise in his stomach.</p><p>-</p><p>Sebastian did not sleep a wink that night. Could it really be true? Michael was Julian's best friend, so if anyone would know how he felt, it would be him, right? Was that why Julian had reacted so evasively when Sebastian had told him? Because he already knew, but didn't want to meddle? But if he didn't want to interfere, why had he taken Sebastian to a club to have sex with random guys? It was all so confusing.</p><p>And now, apparently, he was going on a date with Michael. What was he going to do? Where should they go? Should they go dancing? Sebastian couldn't help but think about how dancing with Adrian had felt. The thought of doing that with Michael, of feeling his body slotted against his own like that, Michael's hands wandering over him...but maybe that was not what he was after at all. Maybe they were supposed to go out to dinner or see a movie - or was that too heteronormative? What the hell did gay guys expect on a first date?</p><p>Sebastian lay awake wondering if he was ready to have sex with Michael. Up until now, all of it had been a harmless fantasy. How was he supposed to know what he wanted if he hadn't even kissed anyone yet? What would it feel like? And <em>who</em> would be doing <em>what?</em></p><p>-</p><p>"I was terrified," Sebastian admits. "I was torn between wanting to go and wanting to cancel it all, but I was afraid of what Julian would say if I chickened out. So, I went."</p><p>Suddenly, Kurt doesn't want to hear any more. He's terrified as well. It feels like this story is leading up to a Very Bad First Time, or something equally terrible. He is barely breathing now, and everything around them has quieted down. Not even the sea seems to make a sound.</p><p>-</p><p>Five o'clock. Sebastian had arrived early, then took a walk around the block so he wouldn't look too eager. On a whim, he had bought flowers and then returned to the meeting spot that Julian had told him to go to, and waited. Five past five. Twenty past five. Sebastian texted him. There was no reply. A little later, he texted Julian, but he didn't reply either. He had still been in bed when Sebastian had left, barely responsive and sleeping off a hangover. A quarter to six. At six o' clock, Sebastian figured something had probably come up. He didn't know where Michael lived, so he decided to just go back to Julian's apartment.</p><p>Nothing could have prepared him for the sight that awaited him there.</p><p>He heard Julian's voice before he saw them, a low, guttural sound, and for a brief moment, he wondered if Julian was so hungover that he was feeling sick. He quickly stepped into the room, thinking he might help- and saw Michael, stark naked except for a pair of heels, bent over the back of their couch, Julian fucking into him from behind, slamming his hips home relentlessly. He had one hand tangled in Michael's long hair, tipping his head back. Michael's back was arched gracefully, and as Sebastian looked closer, he could see Michael was actually driving himself back onto his brother's cock, the muscles of his back working as he rolled his hips down against Julian again and again, his eyes screwed tight and his mouth hanging open. "Fuck yes, Jules," he panted. "Oh god, yes!" Julian slammed into him again, hiking him further up against the couch and nearly lifting him off his heels.</p><p>The sweet, tangy scent of pot filled Sebastian's nostrils.</p><p>The door fell into the lock behind him, and Julian turned around to look at him.</p><p>"About time you joined the party," he stated, slightly out of breath. Without stopping, he glanced at Sebastian's dumbfounded expression, nodded at the flowers that were still in his hand, and started laughing. "Isn't that sweet," he mocked.</p><p>Sebastian's hand went slack, and the flowers dropped to the floor. He took a step back towards the door, his eyes still on his brother and the boy he thought he might love, unable to stop watching Julian's pistoning hips.</p><p>Then, his reactions slowed because of the weed, Michael turned and looked over his shoulder to see who Julian was talking to. His glazed eyes, dark with kohl, found Sebastian's, and widened in recognition. He cursed and reached behind him to stop Julian, pushing him away and lifting himself up from the couch. "Fuck, Basti, I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd be home. Jules said you were out on a date!"</p><p>Julian shrugged innocently, casually pulling off his condom with a wet flick before resting his hands on his hips. "He was. Didn't go so well, it would seem."</p><p>Sebastian glared at him. "You said you weren't together," he brought out through gritted teeth. "You said-"</p><p>"Oh, we're not!" Michael cut in. "This has never happened before, I swear. It caught me by surprise as well!" He reached for his shirt that lay on the floor by the couch. As he did, Julian cupped his ass with a hand and looked at Sebastian. His face hardened in a cruel smile. "You wouldn't even know where to start, Sebster."</p><p>He chuckled at his own words and Sebastian could feel his stomach turn. He suddenly realized what this was: a set-up.</p><p>-</p><p>Kurt gasps. "He <em>arranged</em> for you to <em>see</em> it?" he asks, unable to keep the crestfallen tone out of his voice. Stealing your brother's crush was one thing, but this?</p><p>"I can't believe Micha went along with that," he whispers, but Sebastian shakes his head.</p><p>"He wasn't in on it," he says. "I don't even think he was aware of my crush on him." He pauses. "He was just a pawn in Julian's game." His lips twist into a smile. "I guess Julian just...turned on the charm and got what he wanted, like he always does."</p><p>"But <em>why</em>?" Kurt asks, shaking his head.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "Because he could? I don't know. He told me a lot of things after he'd been to therapy. Frustration. Jealousy. Loneliness… At that moment, I didn't think about it. Mostly, I just wanted to get out of there."</p><p>"Where did you go?" Kurt asks, thinking about sixteen year old Sebastian in a country far from home, all by himself.</p><p>"I ran down the street, all the way to the harbor, then further, to the beach. I didn't know what to do. I knew Julian was right. I had nothing to offer Micha, if he had ever even been interested in me at all. In retrospect, I doubted it. He was twenty-two, I was sixteen, and I knew <em>nothing.</em> More likely, the kindness I had interpreted as interest had just been his way of investing in the community, taking care of a baby gay, you know?"</p><p>Kurt nods. With the way Sebastian said Michael had reacted, it doesn't exactly seem like he had been in on the plan- or in love with Sebastian. Most likely, just as Sebastian expected, they had both gotten high and he had fallen for Julian's seduction.</p><p>Sebastian sighs deeply and pulls up his shoulders. Kurt can tell he's back in that moment in his head, and he can only hope that his presence will help a little.</p><p>"I sat there for a couple of hours, questioning everything. Had Julian introduced me to Michael just to do this to me, or was it a spur of the moment thing, inspired by alcohol and drugs? Did doing that Cooper look alike have anything to do with it? It didn't really matter- he had humiliated me, made me feel absolutely worthless. I didn't want to go back to his place."</p><p>Kurt nods. He can't even imagine the heartbreak. He'd been there for Rachel when Jesse St James pulled a trick on her and then egged her face, but that was about as far as his experience went. He supposes he knew Julian was capable of many things, but this seems incredibly low.</p><p>"It got late. I didn't know where to go, and had just decided to stay and sleep on the beach when a group of people walked up to me and said the police were on their way. They were like ‘you can't sleep here, they'll take you into the station for tramping'. So I decided to check into a hotel, but that wasn't as easy as I thought…"</p><p>-</p><p>"Alright sir, now if I could have some I.D…"</p><p>Sebastian handed over his American driver's license. He was weary and tired, and couldn't wait to shower and sleep.</p><p>"I'm sorry, this says you're sixteen," the hotel manager said in a thick German accent. "Will your parents or legal guardians be joining you?" He looked around Sebastian as if his accompanying adults could materialize behind him any moment.</p><p>"No. But I have my credit card with me," Sebastian argued. "I can afford a room."</p><p>The manager gave Sebastian a once over, and muttered something in German that Sebastian couldn't understand. He knew how it looked. He had no luggage, no bag, not even a coat. Sebastian sighed and took his card from his wallet, putting it on the counter.</p><p>"Thank you, Mr Smythe. It's just that, I can't give a room to a minor. Unless you have court paperwork to show your emancipation?"</p><p>Sebastian let out an incredulous huff of breath. "I don't have that. Come on, man. I've had a rough day. Can't you just look the other way? I really just need a place to sleep."</p><p>The manager shook his head. "I'm very sorry." He paused, then leaned over the desk. "Look, kid. No matter what they did to you, your parents don't deserve this, okay? They're probably worried sick. Stop trying to waste their money and go home."</p><p>Sebasian frowned, and slapped his hand over his credit card to pick it back off the counter. "You know what?" he said. "Fuck you. I wouldn't stay here for free. Give me back my license."</p><p>The manager gave him a snooty look and handed over the laminated card. "Get out of here before I call the police," he threatened.</p><p>The next hotel was no different. The lady at the check-in was nicer, and definitely more worried at the sight of a teenager by himself trying to find a place to sleep for the night, but in the end, she wasn't allowed to check him in either. She gave him the address of a homeless shelter and offered to call a cab to take him there, but Sebastian refused, telling her he'd find it on his own. The truth was, he didn't dare go there. He wasn't <em>really</em> homeless, and he was afraid they'd send him back to Julian as soon as they heard his story.</p><p>He felt miserable. Sitting down on the steps of the hotel, he did the last thing he could think of. He took out his phone and called his sister.</p><p>"Sebastian! Oh my god! I was calling and calling you!" Olivia let out as soon as she picked up, sounding frantic. Sebastian could hear the metallic, echoing voices of an announcement system in the background. "This guy Michael called me from Julian's phone, he said you ran off-"</p><p>"Michael called you?" Sebastian replied, a small spark of hope lighting in his chest despite everything.</p><p>"Where are you, Seb?" Olivia asked, ignoring his question. "I am boarding in twenty minutes and I need to know if you are safe until I get there."</p><p>"Boarding? What do you mean?" Sebastian asked.</p><p>"I am coming to Hamburg. Clearly Julian has fucked up, and I am coming to get you. Now tell me where you are."</p><p>Nearly crying in relief, Sebastian told her everything. She briefly hung up to take charge and book him into a hotel room, calling in personally to give the hotel management some fabricated story about a travel itinerary gone wrong and how she was supposed to meet up with her little brother in Hamburg but her flight had been cancelled, sending them copies of all of her documents to prove she was an adult and took responsibility for the room. She called Sebastian back and kept him on the phone until he was checked in and she was boarding, making him promise not to leave his hotel room until she arrived. It was an easy promise to make- Sebastian was exhausted, and as soon as he hit the bed, he slept for almost ten hours straight.</p><p>-</p><p>"She flew to Hamburg straight away?" Kurt asks in awe. He knew Olivia was a force to be reckoned with, but that must have taken some serious determination. Without questioning it, he knows he would fly halfway across the world to help Finn too, though.</p><p>"She did," Sebastian confirms. "Apparently, after I left, Michael and Julian had had a huge fight, which ended in Michael leaving to go and look for me. When he couldn't find me, he went back to Julian and took his phone. I guess he thought Olivia was the safer option over my parents."</p><p>Kurt swallows, pretty sure he is about to find out just why the Smythe brothers are intimidated by her.</p><p>-</p><p>"By the time I woke up, Olivia had arrived. She was waiting for me down in the lobby. Seeing her nearly took my breath away. She looked...different. Almost like mom. She had come to be the grown-up and she wasn't messing around with it, you know?"</p><p>Kurt nods. He has seen both sides of Olivia already; girlish and soft with her fiancée, but all-business and determined when she defended her brothers. He remembers her fierceness about the dance class, and has no doubt Julian is in for a real talk.</p><p>"We had breakfast together, and I told her everything. About the bars and the dancing, the drinking and the weed. I didn't want to keep any more secrets for Julian's sake, and she probably wouldn't have accepted me doing that either. I couldn't hide how miserable I felt anyway.</p><p>"After checking out of the hotel, we went to Julian's apartment. Micha was still there. I was shocked to see him there, but as it turned out, Olivia had told him to stay put to keep Julian from bolting…"</p><p>-</p><p>"Basti," Michael breathed, standing in the doorway of Julian's apartment and looking at him with large eyes. His make-up was smudged like he had been crying. "I'm-"</p><p>"Are you Michael?" Olivia interrupted him, pronouncing his name the American way.</p><p>Michael breathed in sharply and nodded, accepting the mispronunciation as his due.</p><p>Olivia nodded curtly. "Is my brother still here?"</p><p>"Yes. He's asleep," Michael replied. "Sebastian, I'm so sorry-" he started again, but Olivia stepped in front of her brother, shielding him.</p><p>"Please, I didn't know," Michael pleaded. "You have to believe me. I never wanted to hurt the kid! He's like my little brother, too!"</p><p>"Only that he's not," Olivia said harshly. "He's <em>my</em> little brother, and if you really didn't want to hurt him, you shouldn't have let him smoke pot. Which, I am told, came from you."</p><p>Michael opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again without making a sound. He looked at Sebastian again, but he looked away. He didn't want to see him now. As well-intended as Michael's words had been, they had only made Sebastian's shame and humiliation flare up harder inside of him.</p><p>
  <em>The kid. The little brother.</em>
</p><p>Michael had never been interested in him, ever, and it had all been in his head, like a stupid, childish crush. Julian's words echoed in his head.</p><p>
  <em>You wouldn't know where to start.</em>
</p><p>He was right. Sebastian had no idea. He was just a baby, and now his big sister had come<em> in loco parentis</em> to kick the big boys' asses for letting him join the party.</p><p>"Michael," Olivia started again, sounding like she was only barely reigning herself in to be polite, "I am grateful for your call and I'm glad you were able to stop Julian from running away from his problems as he is used to. But now we have to settle this as a family."</p><p>Her words were clear as crystal and Michael nodded. He picked up his bag, which was already by the door, and stepped out. "<em>Mach's gut, Basti</em>," he whispered, without any of his usual flair, and he started down the stairs. Sebastian closed his eyes tightly and listened to his heels click on the steps, trying not to cry.</p><p>"Pack your stuff," Olivia told him as they went inside. "Our flight leaves at three, we're going home."</p><p><em>Home. </em>Sebastian nodded. It was for the best. He wanted to get out of here, put all of this behind him and not be reminded of the times he'd sat on this couch or laid on the floor, smoking and basking in Michael's company, feeling like he was sharing something more than a joint. He longed for his own room, where he could hide himself away from everyone with his books and pretend none of this had ever happened.</p><p>Olivia strode across the small living space to where Julian was sprawled across the bed, snoring. She gave the bed a hard kick. "Get up, Julian," she said loudly. "We need to talk."</p><p>"Five more minutes, mom," Julian mumbled, rolling over and curling his arms over his head. Olivia grabbed a handful of sheets and yanked them off him. He was naked, but she didn't so much as bat an eyelash.</p><p>"You <em>wish</em> I was mom," she said, and the way she said it made Sebastian shiver. It certainly woke Julian up as well. He tore his hands away from his face and stared up at her in shock.</p><p>-</p><p>Kurt can picture the fire in her eyes- gone is the beautiful socialite with the easy smile, who can hold a fifteen minute soliloquy about Vera Wang wedding dresses; this is the woman she is underneath, who will move heaven and earth- not to make daddy get her a pony, but to fight for her brothers- even if it means coming between them.</p><p>-</p><p>"Liv?" he let out, reaching his hands around blindly for the sheets while looking at her, not realizing they were beyond his reach. He withered under her stare, and eventually settled for an awkward, half-sitting position, covering his crotch with his hands. Sebastian had never seen him this timid. "What… how…?" Julian asked.</p><p>"Your <em>friend </em>Michael called me from your phone, after <em>he</em> had been out looking for Sebastian in this hellhole of a city where they apparently let <em>minors</em> into stripclubs and serve them <em>alcohol</em>-" Olivia said, accentuating her words with deadly venom, "while <em>you</em> slept off your victory-rush over your own brother."</p><p>"I- I," Julian stuttered, but Olivia did not give him a chance to speak.</p><p>"What the fuck were you thinking, Jules? Were you even thinking at all? It's one thing to fuck off to another continent doing god knows what to yourself, but when mom and dad agreed to let Seb stay with you for the summer, we expected you to reign in your shit, for your little brother's sake. You <em>said</em> you could."</p><p>"I did-" Julian protested, inching his way up from the bed past Olivia to reach for a pair of jeans that lay on the floor. Olivia gave room, stepping back with a look of disgust on her face.</p><p>"Oh, this was you on your <em>best</em> behavior then, was it?" she mocked. "Having parties, taking drugs, messing with people's heads… the poster boy of responsibility." She paused, but only to breathe.</p><p>"Do you have any idea what could have happened to Sebastian after you drove him from your place with that fucked-up stunt you pulled? With nowhere to go, not speaking the language - all you've shown him is how to get into bars he shouldn't be going into in the first place...tell me that is not <em>exactly</em> what some people are waiting to take advantage of. You're lucky he's alive."</p><p>"Liv-" Sebastian protested. He had been quiet until now, but Olivia's words felt like another punch in the gut, like he was some kind of baby Julian had abandoned on a doorstep.</p><p>"<em>No</em>, Sebastian," Olivia said, her blazing eyes turning on him as she pointed a finger in his face, "you're sixteen and you're a boy, so you were never taught these things. I am a woman, and I have had to deal with predators since I started wearing a bra. I know what they are like, and I also know men are the same no matter where they come from or what orientation they have. You were not safe out there, and if <em>anything</em> had happened to you it would have been Julian's fault."</p><p>Sebastian cowered, remembering the situation in the bar where Julian had intervened, and the obvious interest Adrian had shown in him. He had listened when Sebastian had said no- but would everyone?</p><p>Olivia turned back to Julian, who was looking troubled. "He's okay," he said, as if trying to convince himself of his own words. "Nothing happened."</p><p>"How would you know?" Olivia said coldly. "You didn't even go after him. He could have been lying in a hospital somewhere right now, or worse, and you'd still be here <em>sleeping it off</em>. I flew in from New York-"</p><p>Suddenly, Olivia's words seemed to ignite a fire inside of Julian and he rose to his feet.</p><p>"Oh, yes, sister Olivia to the rescue! The perfect one," he spat. "It's very easy to be morally superior if you've never suffered a day of adversity in your life. You are welcome everywhere you go. With your perfect grades and your perfect boyfriend, with his perfect parents just dying to welcome you into their family… All of this? You coming to your little brother's aid?"</p><p>He gestured at himself and the room, "is just another bow on the gift that is <em>you</em>. The <em>good child</em>. Maybe mom and dad will put it up with your pony ribbons."</p><p>-</p><p>At the beach house, Kurt gasps for breath.</p><p>Sebastian winces and nods. "It was bad. Julian always had a talent for knowing exactly where to push to make it hurt."</p><p>"Must be a family trait," Kurt muses lightly, and the hint of a smile curls Sebastian's lips.</p><p>-</p><p>"Do you have your stuff, Seb?" Olivia asked over her shoulder, not taking her eyes off Julian.</p><p>"Uh...yeah," Sebastian said, pushing the last books in his bag. He was leaving all of his toiletries and most of his clothes in favor of the books and magazines he had bought while he was there.</p><p>"Good. Then we can go." Olivia looked at Julian.</p><p>"I'd stay on this side of the Atlantic if I were you, Julian, because if you show up at our house again, I swear to god, I <em>will</em> tell our parents what you've done."</p><p>-</p><p>"Wow," Kurt lets out, "a combination of disappointment <em>and</em> a threat? That's the whole package right there. I feel bad for Liv and Brian's future children!" he comments. "It's so much worse than yelling or insults. As soon as a parent goes ‘<em>I expected better from you'</em> and just leaves it there for your own head to do the rest? Ugh!"</p><p>Sebastian snorts. "I know, right? She definitely got the ‘disappointed mom' tone down perfectly. And Jules reacted like a scolded child. He all but threw us out, claiming he wouldn't come back for a million dollars and that all of our drama was just ‘food for his art'..."</p><p>He shakes his head. "Olivia took me home after that. On the plane, we settled on a story to tell our parents for my return, something about Julian taking on a large commision for some kind of art-guru and needing me out of his way. Olivia didn't think Julian deserved it, but I didn't want mom and dad to know.</p><p>"Of course as soon as we got back, they noticed something was going on with me, but I guess they thought I was just sad because my summer in Europe had been cut short. So, in order to cheer me up, my mom asked her parents if I could stay with them in Paris for a while. I didn't care much either way, so a few weeks later, I went."</p><p>Kurt sniffs. He can't help himself; he has never been anywhere, really, except for Nationals in New York and now, here in North Carolina - and Sebastian got to travel to Europe twice in one summer, and hadn't ‘cared much either way'.</p><p>Sometimes the differences between their lives are just so obvious it's hard for Kurt not to dub them ‘the Prince and the Pauper'. But regardless of that, he knows what it's like to have his heart broken, to feel shamed and humiliated by people he trusts, and the feeling behind that spans across class and credit balances.</p><p>"Did you like it there?" he asks carefully. "What are your grandparents like?"</p><p>For the first time since starting his story, Sebastian genuinely smiles at the memory.</p><p>"I liked it a lot better than I thought I would. My grandparents are the best. They are liberal, welcoming, generous people and they have a wonderful city house with a semi-basement which was mine for my stay. It had its own entrance, bathroom and even a small kitchen, although I never actually used that except for the fridge, because I mostly just ate with them upstairs.</p><p>"For weeks I just indulged in great food and <em>culture;</em> my grandparents drove me to any museum or gallery that I wanted. All they asked in return was that I worked on my French so I could be sociable with their friends, which felt like a small price to pay."</p><p>Kurt lets out a soft, longing breath. He spent that summer doing odd jobs at his dad's workshop to make some money for his new fall wardrobe and enjoying the break from school simply because it meant a break from being bullied.</p><p>"It sounds amazing," he says.</p><p>"It was," Sebastian agrees. "When it was time to start thinking about going back to school, I asked my parents if I could stay in Paris," he continues. "Olivia had done a semester at the international school there as well, and I just wanted to delay the inevitable a bit longer. Going back to Dalton would mean going back to that closeted life, to having no friends. My grandparents were my largest advocates and they persuaded my parents with glorious tales of their youngest blossoming socially…"</p><p>He makes a flourish with his hand and rolls his eyes a little, before looking back at Kurt. "In all seriousness, I just wanted a fresh start. Somewhere where people didn't know me, where they hadn't heard the stories about my infamous brother…" He shrugs.</p><p>"Did it work?" Kurt asks. Sebastian nods.</p><p>"In a way. I was invited to a party in my first week, where everyone sort of wanted to test the newcomers and scout for potential new friends. The other students were almost all from abroad as well, some staying only a few months, others for years, depending on what their parents did for a living. They made the kind of friendships that were solely based on their current interests, never oversharing or getting too close, because all of it was just temporary. Before I knew it, I found myself in the kitchen of someone's house, smoking weed and drinking Courvoisier - some kind of hazing dare I passed without even knowing it was one- and I had made it into their circle."</p><p>Kurt can imagine it quite easily; the best part of the party is usually in the kitchen - he remembers the Smythes' kitchen quite fondly, and that's where his mind's eye takes him, trying to place a younger Sebastian there among strangers his age, passing around bottles and cigarettes, joking, teasing, seizing each other up. Inevitable hangovers aside, Kurt almost wishes he could be there too, with all of the opportunities it offers.</p><p>"A lot of parties followed. My grandparents didn't mind having my new friends over as long as we kept it to weekends and my grades didn't suffer, and it worked. I gradually began to relax a litte around them, and once I found out two of my new friends were gay, I came out to them. It felt good. The invitation to experiment with them was open and I took it. I figured the best way to figure out where to start was just...to start, and a group of friends who were already out, whose parents knew and accepted them, and most of all, whose presence in my life would be temporary, seemed perfect for that. I was determined to make the most of it."</p><p>Kurt blinks at the tears that have formed in his eyes sometime during Sebastian's story. He remembers the boys at Julian's pool party, those easy-going, down-to-fuck, no-strings-attached boys, and realizes they were not the first.</p><p>Here it is, the basis of Sebastian's lifestyle as Kurt has known him; superficial friendships, fleeting encounters based on opportunity rather than romance. Kurt understands (how could he not after hearing his story?), and yet it still breaks his heart a little.</p><p>It is clear that Sebastian has tried to model himself after his brother; despite the hurt Julian had caused him, Sebastian so desperately wanted to be what he thought Julian would approve of. It explains everything; from small things like imitating Julian's flirty, sexy smile and copying his endearments (it pangs a little to know that Julian was the originator of ‘babe') to grander gestures like him trying to get with Blaine, which must have seemed like the equivalent of Julian getting with Cooper. (Only there, Kurt had been in his way.)</p><p>It also explains why Sebastian is so anxious about ‘getting it right' with him now. He<em> really </em>hasn't done this before. With a cold, sinking feeling, Kurt suddenly remembers his own words from weeks ago, thrown at Sebastian almost carelessly.</p><p>
  <em>How would you know anything about love? </em>
</p><p>He had seen the pain in Sebastian's eyes back then, but hadn't acknowledged it, too angry to sympathize. It must have been close enough to Julian's words in Germany to make that old hurt flare up again, to create new insecurities to replace the old- because Sebastian knows where to start with sex now, but romance?</p><p>Kurt really wants to tell him that he's sorry about that. That it's okay, that they'll be okay. That he didn't mean it, and was just lashing out because he was hurting too, and everything about how he and Blaine parted was like a raw wound still - that he knows <em>now </em>that Sebastian is capable of love...</p><p>But before he can say something, Sebastian continues. His next words change everything; they turn Kurt from audience to participant. Maybe even to antagonist.</p><p>"After a few months, Julian sent me a letter. It was an apology he had to write-"</p><p>Kurt's conscience burns, and he knows his face must be also. With the world around them almost completely dark, save for the moon, it surely stands out like a lighthouse.</p><p>"From his therapist," Kurt cuts in, "I know. I...read it."</p><p>Sebastian breaks off with a start and his eyes find him, his expression inscrutable. Kurt quickly starts to explain.</p><p>"I found it today. I didn't mean to! I only wanted to pack away your clothes and then I found that box in your drawer and the postcards were so pretty-" He breaks off and whimpers a little.</p><p>"I'm <em>so </em>sorry. I was going to tell you right away but you were in such a good mood when you got home that I didn't want to ruin it...and now I've gone and ruined it anyway and again, I am so,<em> so</em> sorry. I shouldn't have snooped."</p><p>He moves his hands frantically as he speaks. "I got the whole thing wrong, too. All afternoon I thought you and Michael had been a couple and Julian had broken you up-" He feels tears starting to well up again as the emotions from the day resurface.</p><p>"It was far less dramatic than that," Sebastian offers, catching one of Kurt's fluttering hands between his and squeezing it softly. "Though your jealousy is very flattering."</p><p>"I wasn't-" Kurt starts out of habit, then shakes his head at himself. "No. You're right. I really, really was jealous. I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's cute," Sebastian teases.</p><p>"You're not mad at me?" Kurt asks carefully.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "Honestly? I'm not happy about it, but I probably would have done the same."</p><p>"You did read my chat log with Blaine," Kurt reminds him.</p><p>"Yeah, exactly," Sebastian agrees, and shrugs again. "So we're even now."</p><p>They look at each other for a moment.</p><p>"When Julian drove me home that morning after I first stayed at your place, he told me he eventually apologised to you in Paris. I guess that means you told him you wanted to see him?" Kurt suggests.</p><p>Sebastian nods. "I did. I was angry for what he did, but time and distance had done their thing, and I missed him. I missed all of them, Liv, my parents. So I finished out the year and went back to Ohio. It was never supposed to have been a permanent solution anyway. I was ready to try again there, with everything I had learned. I was ready to be <em>out.</em></p><p>"I wanted nothing more than to be the guy I hadn't been able to be in Hamburg. I needed to show everyone, including myself, that I wasn't that sixteen year old boy anymore. I made Julian get me a fake ID. We went to adult clubs, I hooked up with people. I started smoking. When weekend parties didn't cut it anymore, I started sneaking out of Dalton on school nights, or just flew up to New York to hang out with Julian and his friends."</p><p>He takes a deep breath and lets it out on a huff. "I guess a big part of me was eager to prove to him that I was over it."</p><p>"And were you?"</p><p>Sebastian worries his lip and frowns. "Over Micha, yeah. Over how Julian made me feel?"</p><p>He pauses. "Sometimes, even now, a single word, or a look from him brings it all back. After everything, he can still make me feel like a bumbling child."</p><p>He looks at Kurt, holding on tightly to his hand. "And that's why I am so sorry for the way I have talked to you. I know what it's like to be treated like that, and all of those insinuations, about you being girly or prudish or inexperienced-"</p><p>Kurt winces, but Sebastian pushes on. "It was just me trying to elevate myself from my own feelings of insecurity by making you feel inferior."</p><p>"It worked," Kurt whispers.</p><p>"I know. I'm so sorry, Kurt," Sebastian confesses. "Even without knowing about all of the shit that you went through, I should have known better than that."</p><p>Kurt pauses. "Yes. I understand better now, and I get where it came from, but all the same, you hurt me. Even if it was just a harmless joke to you."</p><p>He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He needs Sebastian to understand.</p><p>"I have had to deal with people's disapproval of the way I am all my life. I was never quite right; too feminine, too soft, too emotional, too uptight, too passionate, too loud, too ambitious, too ‘out there'. And even when I am alone, a voice inside me still criticizes me, echoing the same things. I second-guess my feelings and then berate myself for overthinking. I police my words, my actions, my looks; I constantly measure myself against others, more often than not finding myself lacking in every field that is not specifically my art. And every single joke at my expense adds to that."</p><p>He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I need a partner who can help me <em>quiet</em> that voice, not encourage it."</p><p>Sebastian nods. "I get that," he says. "And you deserve nothing less."</p><p>"I do," Kurt agrees, mock-haughtily, hoping to make his boyfriend laugh and diffuse the seriousness of his words. But Sebastian looks a little forlorn, and before he can get any wrong ideas, Kurt adamantly adds:</p><p>"I want <em>you</em> to be that partner."</p><p>Sebastian looks up in surprise. "You do?"</p><p>"Of course I do. You have already shown me you can be that person, Bas. And the more we reach out to understand one another, the more we can help each other."</p><p>"I thought...now that you know that I pretty much <em>decided</em> to become the way I am, without any of the drama you had imagined after that letter, that...maybe you'd think I didn't deserve the redemption," Sebastian admits. "I <em>chose</em> to treat you that way, to say those things to put you down…"</p><p>"But you didn't choose what Julian did to you, or what it did to your self-esteem."</p><p>Kurt sighs. "Look, I can't tell you that it was okay, because it wasn't," he says honestly. "So if you are hoping for me to absolve you of your guilty conscience, you will be hoping for a long time. I can only offer you forgiveness."</p><p>"I'll take it," Sebastian says, his voice a little rough. "I'm so sorry, Kurt."</p><p>Kurt hesitates. There's one more question in his head that he can't quite let go, but he's not sure if he really wants an honest answer, because of what it will mean when he hears it. Yet it has to be now, here, on the dark porch with the waves softly breaking over the sand below them - Sebastian's family is coming over tomorrow and there's no way he can have this conversation then.</p><p>"Sebastian...do I remind you of Micha?"</p><p>Throughout Sebastian's story, Kurt has felt a resonance with this person whom he will never meet; not necessarily because he himself has worn the odd corset or two, but because of what he had meant to both Smythe boys. If the answer is yes, is that a good or a bad thing?</p><p>Had it helped or worked against him? Was the visual resemblance of his wardrobe enough for Sebastian to get pulled back into feelings of loss and humiliation (which would explain his immediate hostility when they met), or had it played a factor later, when Sebasian started feeling drawn to him? (Resemblances or associations certainly did work for Kurt; once he had associated Finn with Superman it was hard to unsee it, and having always felt like Ariel trapped in the wrong world, Blaine's subtle Prince Eric vibes definitely helped fuel his crush too).</p><p>He can tell Sebastian is a little taken aback by the question. A few moments pass without him saying anything. When he finally speaks, it is clear he is carefully weighing his words.</p><p>"At first glance, maybe. The way you dressed, the way you held yourself-" He pauses, then grins. "But as soon as you opened your mouth, I discovered that you were much, <em>much </em>bitchier than him and that you were definitely not the type who'd smoke a blunt with me."</p><p>Kurt gasps, not sure if he has just been insulted or not, but then, he can't help but laugh.</p><p>Relief washes over him; there is no long lost lover he needs to measure up to, no ‘one that got away' that could be a threat to him… Sebastian had had just as much chance of hooking up with his teenage crush as Kurt had had with Finn (okay, so maybe a bit more, but still). And most important of all: it does not seem like Sebastian would even want to now, even if he suddenly showed up.</p><p>"You're right," Kurt lets out, still chuckling. "I definitely wasn't the type."</p><p>The thought of how his extremely judgemental younger self would have reacted upon hearing Sebastian doing drugs makes him feel a little embarrassed.</p><p>"People can change," he adds softly, remembering the private thoughts he has had about taking some sort of substance with Sebastian just to see what would happen between them. "I can try?"</p><p>"I don't think we need it," Sebastian whispers, and suddenly he is closer than he was before, reaching out to cup the back of Kurt's neck and leaning in to press his forehead against his. Sebastian's eyes find him in the dark, two shining lights in an ocean of dark green. His mouth opens slightly, and Kurt can feel his breath ghosting over his skin.</p><p>"You don't need to be jealous anymore," Sebastian promises. "There's only you."</p><p>His words are everything, and the only response Kurt can think of is to kiss him. They shift together as their lips press and slide, Sebastian's hands come up to cup Kurt's face between his palms and Kurt runs his hands up Sebastian's sides, drawing him in. Slowly, Sebastian moves closer, swinging a leg over until he's straddling Kurt's lap on the swing, his hands sliding up into Kurt's hair and tugging slightly. Kurt's hips jolt up a little at the touch and the swing moves with them. Sebastian almost falls back but Kurt catches him, pulling him closer until he's seated more firmly on Kurt's lap. They smile at the rescue, sharing a breath of relief between them.</p><p>Sebastian's mouth moves from Kurt's to lick, kiss and suck along his jaw down to his neck, right over his pulse point. Kurt gasps as Sebastian's teeth graze the skin and his hands slide down to cup Sebastian's ass, squeezing the soft cheeks through the thin material of his sleep pants. Kurt thrusts up a little and a moan escapes his lips. He can't wait to make love to him- and he must have said something like that outloud, because suddenly, Sebastian freezes above him.</p><p>"What is it?" Kurt asks, pulling back a little to look up at his boyfriend. He can see Sebastian's eyes flickering nervously from his face to their bodies, and his chest is heaving, still slightly out of breath but slowing down.</p><p>"Too much?" Kurt immediately moves his hands up to safer territory at Sebastian's waist and waits.</p><p>The silence draws on until Sebastian has calmed himself down. Kurt doesn't press.</p><p>"Do you remember when we- ...when <em>I</em> asked you to make my mom think she was walking in on us having sex?" Sebastian eventually asks quietly, avoiding Kurt's eyes.</p><p>Kurt thinks it's a rather generous way of describing that ruse, because, <em>yes</em> he remembers, and there wasn't much <em>asking</em> going on- Sebastian had simply told him to get undressed and get on the bed. Still, he is curious where this is going. "I do."</p><p>"When I asked you how you wanted it- what...how you and Blaine would- you said you <em>switched</em>."</p><p>It is very unusual for Sebastian to be this hesitant. That day in his room he had been rather flippant about it, accepting it as a fact about Kurt and casually mentioning his appreciation of Blaine's physique in one breath.</p><p>"Yes?" Kurt confirms. He remembers that too, how it felt important at that time, like he had something to prove, because Sebastian had been implying something about him bottoming and how <em>typical</em> it was, how stereotype-confirming. And Kurt was <em>not</em> a stereotype, thanksverymuch.</p><p>"Well, I don't. Usually. I don't switch," Sebastian states, his eyes finally travelling back to meet Kurt's. "I top."</p><p>"Oh." Kurt isn't sure what to say to that, because they haven't talked about this yet, not really. Still, it feels like a disconnect from everything he has assumed about his boyfriend until now.</p><p>"I made so many jokes about you letting guys top you," he mumbles pensively. "You never said anything."</p><p>Sebastian shrugs awkwardly and looks away again, his hands coming away from Kurt's neck to flop in his lap. "Well, I knew you were doing it, and I know Julian and Cooper switched, so it kind of felt like I ought to be doing it too. Or at least act like I did."</p><p>"Why haven't you?" Kurt tries to not make it sound like an accusation, but he is suddenly curious. It isn't, as he might have once assumed, a macho thing, otherwise Sebastian would have scoffed it off by now.</p><p>"I've tried a few times, but it was always...uncomfortable and it felt like way too much effort to get off-" Sebastian starts defensively, then breaks off. "I don't know. It just didn't feel right, and it was easy enough to find guys into bottoming for me so I just stuck to that."</p><p>"Okay," Kurt says. He has had his fantasies, and because he and Blaine really did switch and he likes both, he's imagined it many different ways, but in the end, he's not sure if it really matters. He is about to say so when Sebastian continues.</p><p>"I can try, if you wanted."</p><p>"Try...bottoming?" Kurt asks carefully, to make sure he has understood correctly.</p><p>Two or three breaths, Sebastian says nothing, picking at the skin along the side of his thumb nervously. "Yeah."</p><p>"Well, you don't have to, if you don't like it," Kurt starts. "Just because I switch doesn't mean you have to. I don't necessarily like doing one more than the other."</p><p>Understanding starts to trickle through. Is this another reason why Sebastian has waited to have sex? Is that what he thinks Kurt expects of him?</p><p>Another epiphany hits him. Sebastian is trying to work up the courage to do it differently, to treat Kurt differently from his hook-ups, and he thinks that what it will take is a new experience; a new way of, quite literally, letting someone <em>in</em>.</p><p>"I already told you I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do," Kurt states as clearly as he can, moving his hands up to cup Sebastian's face. "I meant that. This is not a deal-breaker. If you'd rather not-"</p><p>"No, I <em>do</em>," Sebastian says, staring down at him, and if it wasn't so dark Kurt imagines he could see a deep red blush spreading on the back of Sebastian's neck. His skin feels warm under Kurt's hands. "I want to do everything with you, Kurt. I just...thought you should know. I know you have… expectations."</p><p>Kurt can't help but smirk a little. "Well, <em>you</em> put them there, babe," he reminds Sebastian.</p><p>"I know," Sebastian mumbles, his eyes looking down again. Kurt decides to let him off the hook.</p><p>"And I understand better now why you were acting that way," he adds softly. "And it's okay. I'm glad that you are being honest with me now. You already know I'm not the most experienced guy in the world, but that just means we'll have more to discover together."</p><p>"You don't think it's dumb?" Sebastian asks, his gaze hopeful when he looks up at Kurt again. Kurt shakes his head. "It actually makes the idea of having sex with you a little less intimidating," he admits.</p><p>"What!" Sebastian lets out, and Kurt chuckles.</p><p>"That's a <em>good </em>thing," he assures him. "I mean, it's not like it's a competition, but I was a bit afraid that you might be...disappointed."</p><p>"Why would you even think-" Sebastian starts, and then he is quiet for a bit. Kurt lets him fill in the gaps in his own time. "I put that insecurity there, didn't I?" Sebastian finally asks.</p><p>"You and plenty of others, but, yes," Kurt confirms. "From the moment I came out, I've had people tell me that I'm not sexy enough, that I wear too many layers, that I'm off-putting, that I am girlish…that my best chances of getting laid were at a glory hole or with a paper bag over my head." He trails off. "And one of the very first things you told me was how <em>you </em>were God's greatest gift to gay men. So...that didn't exactly add up in my mind."</p><p>"Well, I kind of <em>am</em> the greatest gift-" Sebastian starts airily, and Kurt pushes him lightly.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Sebastian adds, sincere again. "In my opinion; after the pool party and everything that followed? Having seen you naked, and the way you move? You have <em>no</em> reason to be insecure. You are <em>so </em>damn sexy. I just know it is going to be epic."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "Thank you. I know it will be, too." He yawns, and quickly covers his mouth with his hand. "I'm sorry. That was-"</p><p>"Shall we go back inside and sleep?" Sebastian suggests softly. "Before we end up confessing minor misdemeanors from kindergarten to each other as well?"</p><p>Kurt laughs. "Yes. Let's save those for another night."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Time for a glass of water! ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: JWM’s partner; thank you for not divorcing me over months of me ranting about the same topic, playing songs on loop for days on end, sleepless nights and cranky mornings, all for a show you haven’t seen and a story you will never read.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday morning dawns and there is an unspoken agreement between them to take their time today. It's their last day by themselves before the Smythes descend and they both want to make the most of it. They stir at the same time and turn towards each other in sync. Kurt smiles at Sebastian, and moves in for a kiss.</p><p>They kiss lazily, both still a little soft from sleep and <em>oh</em> so warm, every kiss an exchange of smiles and <em>good mornings.</em></p><p>They drink their coffee and eat breakfast in bed, talking and laughing quietly about everything and nothing at the same time. It's well into the afternoon before they finally get up.</p><p>The clock is counting down for them to walk around in their sleepwear (or at least it is for Kurt- he doesn't know what Sebastian wears in the company of his family but he will certainly be getting dressed right after getting up during the coming week, especially with Julian joining them) and they make the most of it.</p><p>After lunch, they decide to spend the rest of the afternoon at the beach. They're looking forward to seeing the family, but they want to make the most of their last hours of privacy. As the afternoon starts turning to evening, they make their way back to the house hand in hand and shower together.</p><p>Freshly washed and dressed in a pair of jeans and a short sleeved button down from Sebastian's closet, Kurt makes his way out into the living area. Sebastian is leaning against the back of one of the sofas looking at his phone. He's dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans and a light green polo, drops of water scattered across the collar from his still wet hair.</p><p>"Mom says they're almost here," he announces when he sees Kurt. "They just turned off on the highway."</p><p>Kurt nods. That gives them about thirty minutes. He glances around the living room, mentally comparing it with how it looked when they had arrived last week. Sebastian follows his eyes.</p><p>"Do you...want me to do something? I could vacuum real quick," he offers, sliding his phone into his pocket.</p><p>Kurt smiles and shakes his head. "Thanks, but I think it's okay like this. It's family after all, not the queen of England."</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian mumbles, his eyes coming to rest on Kurt.</p><p>Kurt offers him a smile. Last night has changed everything between them. Missing puzzle pieces have been exchanged and slotted into place, completing the understanding they have for each other, and Kurt firmly believes this is the thing that will elevate their relationship from a summer romance to something that has the chance to last. He really, <em>really</em> wants it to last.</p><p>"Then I know a better way to spend the last few minutes of freedom," Sebastian says, and his eyes glitter. He reels Kurt in, and they share a kiss. Sebastian smells like figs and rosemary, courtesy of Kurt's shower foam, and there is no hurry behind the moment of their lips and tongues, no urgency, because the beach and the following shower have satisfied their needs for now. All this is, is a slow dance, a way to be together and be connected without words, sharing one breath. If their fingers trespass anywhere, it's to caress and soothe, not to entice and undress.</p><p>*****</p><p>They hear voices and footsteps on the stairs (most likely intentionally loud as a courtesy) before someone rings the brass ship's bell by the door, and they have time enough to disentangle their arms and, in Kurt's case, quickly reach up to his hair to feel for stray strands before the door opens.</p><p>Charlotte steps in, followed by Olivia. Charlotte looks at them with a beaming smile.</p><p>"Hello darlings, how was-" She breaks off mid-sentence and stares at them, her smile fading.</p><p>For a moment, Kurt is worried about being caught kissing- it had only been a some light making out, but still, they <em>are</em> in the family home and he doesn't want Sebastian's family to think they have been treating it like a sex getaway. Then, he realizes Charlotte is looking at her son's face.</p><p>Sebastian's eye socket is no longer swollen, but the bruise has darkened over night, with a sharp line of deep, almost blackish purple on the cheekbone where the can hit, surrounded by a rusty brown smudge running from the inner corner of his eye to his cheekbone, the edges dotted with wine-red flecks.</p><p>"What happened?" Charlotte asks.</p><p>Kurt can see Olivia's eyes flit from her brother to him, and back to Sebastian.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head, wanting to nip those worries in the bud right away. "Just a stupid accident in the kitchen. A can fell out of the cupboard and I caught it...with my face."</p><p>Charlotte and Olivia both wince, and look incredibly alike as they do so. Sebastian quickly continues to reassure them. "It's all good, though. Kurt took care of me, it doesn't hurt anymore and he says it'll be gone in time for the wedding pictures."</p><p>"Well, as long as you're okay," Charlotte starts, but Olivia's gasp cuts her off.</p><p>"The photographer! I haven't called her yet!" She reaches into her purse for her phone.</p><p>Charlotte shakes her head and walks up to the boys to hug her son. She cups his face with her hand for a moment as if assuring herself that he's really okay, and to Kurt's surprise, Sebastian bears the inspection patiently. When she lets go, she turns to Kurt.</p><p>"I'm just gonna go ahead and hug you too," she says, smiling and lightly folding her arms around Kurt. "I'm glad you're here, Kurt."</p><p>"Um, thank you," Kurt says softly, feeling a little overwhelmed.</p><p>At that moment, the men arrive, huffing and out of breath, carrying luggage, and Kurt chews on his smile thinking about his and Sebastian's arrival.</p><p>"Whew, we're fit enough to start a moving company now!" Greg states as he puts down the cases.</p><p>Charlotte pulls away from Kurt and rolls her eyes. "Why is it that men always insist on doing everything by themselves," she says, "and then expect <em>us</em> to praise them?"</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Bas was the same. I'd say it's a Smythe thing but I can see Brian is doing it too," he comments, and leans to the side to look around the women at the laboring men. "Hi guys! Need any help?" he offers lightly.</p><p>"We got it, thanks," Brian mumbles, putting down a large pink suitcase with a rainbow case strap. It looks very heavy. Kurt wonders if Olivia has as many clothes at the beach house as Sebastian does.</p><p>"I brought all of my bridal magazines and the book," Olivia says, holding her phone to her ear and seeming to have read his mind. "And they were the same with the driving. Would not give either of us the wheel even though it's a really long drive up here!"</p><p>"Greg's the worst passenger seat driver," Charlotte adds confidentially, "So to be honest, I didn't really mind."</p><p>"Don't tell Kurt that!" Greg protests. "What would his father think of me! He's a car man."</p><p>"Oh, my dad prefers to drive all the time, too," Kurt admits quickly. "He'd totally understand."</p><p>Greg smiles at him, clearly feeling pleased to have another thing in common with the man he admires so much.</p><p>"We took turns on the way here," Kurt continues. "I never give up any opportunity to drive a Smythe car."</p><p>"<em>Any</em> Smythe car?" Julian asks from the doorway and shoots him a sly grin, but before he can follow it up with what would undoubtedly have been an innuendo-filled invitation, his eyes fall on Sebastian.</p><p>"Damn, Seb, I thought the honeymoon phase would last longer between you too. What happened, did he catch you sneaking out?"</p><p>"Julian!" Charlotte lets out, sounding scandalized.</p><p>"What? It was just a joke," Julian replies, rolling his eyes as he steps inside and drops his overnight bag on the floor. He's handsome as ever, his blonde hair sticking up in unruly curls like someone has just been running their hands through it, his piercing blue eyes taking in every inch of the room and his lips perpetually curled up and a little pursed, forcing small half-moon dimples around the corners of his mouth, like everything he sees is a source of amusement to him.</p><p>Kurt can't help but look at him a little differently now, and he takes a step closer to Sebastian.</p><p>"It wasn't very funny," he says, unable to keep the edge out of his voice. "Or fair, to either of us."</p><p>Julian catches his eye, and for a moment, his smile falters. He nods, looking duly chastised. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "You alright, Seb?"</p><p>Sebastian pauses for a moment, then shrugs. "Yeah. I had a fight with a can of kidney beans. I gave as good as I got, though. You should see it. Completely <em>trashed</em>." He smirks, and Julian snorts, his amused expression returning in full force.</p><p>"You crazy kids," he says fondly, then stretches leisurely. Kurt is pretty sure he does it on purpose to show off his midriff and he tries very hard to ignore it.</p><p>"I always forget how far away this place is." Julian sighs. "Time sure did go by faster playing ‘I spy' in the backseat or trying to throw Liv's teenie magazines out of the car window…"</p><p>"Ha, ha," Olivia responds, lowering her phone and sending off a quick text. "As I recall, you liked those boy-band posters as much as I did."</p><p>"Hmmm, the boy band phase," Brian muses, "the only time in Olivia's life I wasn't number one on her to-kiss list." He chuckles and rolls his shoulders, "I'm beat. I would like to take a nap, if no one minds."</p><p>"Me too," Greg agrees, picking up the suitcase and the large bag he had just put down again to carry them to their bedroom.</p><p>"I'd make a ‘weaker sex' joke here, but it's almost too easy," Olivia says, looking after her fiancé as he too picks up their luggage again.</p><p>"Love you too, honey," Brian says airily, and disappears into the narrow hallway. "Last on the left?" they hear him call out. Olivia confirms it.</p><p>"We get the big bathroom," Sebastian reminds everyone.</p><p>"<em>Mom</em>," Olivia lets out sharply, and Kurt quickly intervenes.</p><p>"We can share, it's fine," he says.</p><p>"I don't mind sharing with them," Julian offers, sounding angelic. The glitter in his eye is telling another story.</p><p>"<em>No</em>," Sebastian says immediately, rising to the bait, and Kurt can hear the tension in his voice.</p><p>"It's the first time we're staying here with seven of us," Charlotte tells Kurt, sounding a little apologetic. "Olivia is the only one who ever brought a boyfriend along."</p><p>Kurt slips his hand around Sebastian's and squeezes it softly. He sees Olivia follow the gesture with her eyes.</p><p>"We'll manage," she mumbles, a little mollified.</p><p>"I'm sure we will," Charlotte adds. "Alright. While the boys take a nap, I'll see if the kitchen inspires me to cook anything for later or if we should call to have something delivered."</p><p>"Oh, we stocked up the kitchen yesterday," Kurt says. "It was Sebastian's idea. And I think he said something about getting some special kind of chocolates for Liv…"</p><p>Olivia gasps. "From that Belgian place?"</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian confirms.</p><p>"Oh my god, I love you!" she says happily. "Maybe we can work this bathroom situation out after all!"</p><p>She blows them a kiss and follows her mother towards the kitchen. It leaves Sebastian, Kurt and Julian facing each other silently. Kurt hesitates for a moment, then makes up his mind.</p><p>"Julian, can I talk to you for a second on the terrace?" he asks. From the corner of his eye, he can see Sebastian turn to look at him. He squeezes his hand again, hoping to convey that he's not going to cause trouble.</p><p>"Look, Kurt, I really didn't mean anything-" Julian starts, but Kurt shakes his head to stop him.</p><p>"It's not about that," he says quickly. "I just want a quick chat." He lets go of Sebastian's hand and walks towards the terrace. He looks over his shoulder to see Julian and Sebastian exchange a brief look, and then Julian is following him. He looks far less confident than he had upon his arrival, and his walk is missing his usual swagger.</p><p>Kurt walks up to the balcony and looks out over the beach, gathering his thoughts. Julian silently comes up next to him.</p><p>"Sebastian said it was your suggestion for us to come to the beach house," Kurt starts slowly.</p><p>Julian waits a moment, then replies. "Yes?" He sounds like he is trying to gauge whether he is in trouble or not. At another time, it would have pleased Kurt more to have the upper hand in the conversation with the older Smythe brother like this, but not today. Kurt only watches him squirm for a moment, then lets him off the hook.</p><p>"I can't even begin to tell you how <em>right</em> that has been for us. Spending time here alone with Sebastian, without distractions or anyone expecting us to behave a certain way-"</p><p>Julian breathes out in relief. "Like as if you've been dating for months?" he asks quietly, shooting a glance over his shoulder at the terrace door. They are alone, and Kurt nods.</p><p>"We've had time to talk, maybe not about all of it yet, but…I feel like we understand each other on a deeper level now, and we have you to thank for it."</p><p>"I'm glad," Julian says, his voice a little troubled. "After everything that has happened between us, to be able to help Seb instead of-"</p><p>"I know what you did, Julian," Kurt cuts him off. "Sebastian told me about Hamburg."</p><p>The look on Julian's face immediately reminds Kurt of Sebastian, because they really are brothers aren't they, and the way they look when they expect to be rejected for something they know they have to take responsibility for is uncannily similar. There is a vulnerability there that almost breaks his heart- even though in this case, Kurt's sympathy is clearly with Sebastian.</p><p>"It's not my place to judge you for that," he adds. It is not why he has asked Julian to join him on the terrace, but it feels fair to tell him that he knows now. "It happened long before we met, and Sebastian has forgiven you, and that's all that matters at this point."</p><p>Before Julian can say anything, he pushes on. "He loves you, Julian. I already knew that, but it has never been more obvious than here, where everything reminds him of your childhood. All week, he's been telling me stories about this place, and almost all of them involved you. <em>Some</em> of them were even nice."</p><p>Kurt grins to take the edge off his teasing, and he sees Julian's eyes light up a little again.</p><p>"It made me envy all of you actually; growing up with siblings," he continues, "having all of this to share together-" He gestures back at the house.</p><p>"I <em>also </em>know you love him, too. You wouldn't have gone through all of this trouble trying to make things right if you didn't. Trying to get me to stay and give him a chance, regardless of the fact that I had already decided to. Suggesting to come here. All of that assures me that you have grown as a person, and that you wouldn't hurt him like that anymore."</p><p>"I wouldn't. I want him to be happy," Julian says immediately, sounding sincere. "He deserves to be."</p><p>"He does," Kurt agrees, then steels his voice. "Which leads me to my next point."</p><p>Julian breathes in sharply and seems to be bracing himself.</p><p>"I need you to stop flirting with me."</p><p>Julian laughs, the tension breaking on his face. "What? Come on, Kurt! I'm not flirting with you! You're pretty, that's not my fault! It's just a compliment!"</p><p>"But you don't do it to Brian," Kurt remarks. "And he's quite handsome."</p><p>"Well, <em>no,</em> I mean, <em>yeah </em>he is and admittedly I did try once upon a time, but he's super straight- and have you <em>met</em> Olivia? She'd take my head off!" Julian protests.</p><p>"So then it's <em>not</em> just a compliment, is it?" Kurt asks drily, cocking his head.</p><p>Julian opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. Kurt sighs and relents a little.</p><p>"I have seen how you and Bas are with each other, and maybe there'll come a time where we can all laugh about it, but right now, when we are still figuring things out...He really does not need the added pressure of his attractive older brother showing off and vying for my attention."</p><p>"So you admit I am attractive?" Julian teases, showing a little of his old self again.</p><p>"Your already massive ego does not need me to dignify that with an answer," Kurt replies, then holds up one finger in a warning, "<em>nor </em>do I need to hear anything about any other part of you that is <em>massive</em>."</p><p>Julian presses his lips closed and holds up his palms in a sign of surrender. Kurt nods approvingly, as if to say<em> glad we settled this. </em></p><p>Julian smiles a little shyly and seems to deliberate for a moment. It's unusual to see him like this, when he is always in his element, taking control of the situation and the conversation. Maybe it is this place, the view, the presence of the ocean, that makes him just a little humbler - or the fact that Kurt is now one of four people in the house who know the truth about Hamburg.</p><p>"You know," Julian starts finally, "after you two left Ohio, I went to see Cooper. Not to talk about <em>you</em>-" he quickly adds, and Kurt quenches a bubble of nerves that had popped up in his chest, "he understands that now, and he won't cause any trouble. It was to talk about <em>us.</em>"</p><p>He pauses, and Kurt can tell he wants to share more but isn't sure how. Once again he recognises so much of Sebastian in him, it's impossible not to feel his plight.</p><p>"What was it like?" Kurt asks carefully.</p><p>Julian turns away to look at the water and runs a hand through his hair. "In a way, it was like neither of us had ever left. It took me the whole of <em>three seconds</em> to remember every single thing about him that had attracted me to him and I immediately knew I still felt the same way." He lets out a deep breath.</p><p>"But at the same time, I could tell he's not that guy anymore. He's changed- and so have I, I guess. Which is good, because maybe it means we have a chance this time around."</p><p>"That's amazing." Kurt says honestly. From his conversation with Sebastian the night before, the snippets of conversation with Julian over the summer and the flashes of anguish that cross Julians eyes anytime someone mentions the oldest Anderson brother, Kurt knows how deeply broken Julian was over the whole thing. It can't have been easy to face him after the way they left things.</p><p>"Are you going to give it a try?"</p><p>Julian nods, then turns back to face Kurt. "I'm scared as hell, Kurt, I'm not gonna lie. If this thing blows up on us, I don't know what will happen. What I will do. I can't hurt everyone around me again."</p><p>Kurt pulls up the corner of his mouth. "But maybe it won't. And like you said, you're not that person anymore." He paused, seizing him up. "I think you'll be okay. The fact that you're acknowledging your past behavior and are adamant not to repeat it, means that even if things <em>don't</em> work out, you won't spiral. In my opinion, Cooper should count his lucky stars to get another shot with you."</p><p>Julian snorts. "It's true, I <em>am </em>a catch," he agrees, pretending to ignore all of the deeper things Kurt just said. Kurt knows this is a Smythe thing, and lets him. "But he's no eyesore either."</p><p>"Mmm," Kurt agrees wholeheartedly. "Imagine my surprise when we met...All that time I thought I had caught the best Anderson…"</p><p>Julian laughs. "I still can't believe you used to date Blainers," he lets out. "He and Seb are like worlds apart!"</p><p>"Tell me about it," Kurt replies. "And I am beginning to see that that is a <em>good</em> thing." He glances over his shoulder towards the living room. Somewhere in there is Sebastian, and he feels butterflies swirl in his stomach at the thought.</p><p>"It is," Jullian agrees. "So, anyway...I just wanted you to know that I <em>do </em>intend to give this thing with Coop a serious try. You know, in case I slip up and come on to you by accident- it's just a force of habit. Because you're so pretty. You don't have to take me up on it or anything."</p><p>"That's very reassuring," Kurt says drily. "Now let's go back inside, before Sebastian gets too nervous," he suggests. He starts to turn, but Julian's hand on his arm stops him.</p><p>"Thank you, Kurt," he says softly, and all of the teasing and double entendres are gone from his voice.</p><p>"For what?" Kurt asks.</p><p>"For looking after his heart," Julian says. "It has been a long time since someone did that for him."</p><p>*****</p><p>As they go back inside, Sebastian's expression is a mixture of worry and determination, and he looks to Julian ready to take whatever insinuation will come his way.</p><p>"I think I'm going to take a little beauty nap too," Julian says instead. "Wake me before dinner."</p><p>"Maybe we won't, more for us," Sebastian replies automatically, unable to wipe the look of surprise off his face as Julian just grins, gives him a little salute, and retreats to his room.</p><p>Then Sebastian turns to Kurt. "What was that all about?"</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I wanted to thank him for his suggestion to come out here together, just the two of us."</p><p>"That's all?"</p><p>Kurt glances at the women in the kitchen, who are animatedly chatting away. He lowers his voice.</p><p>"I also told him I know about Micha now," he admits and immediately puts his hands on Sebastian's shoulders to reassure his boyfriend. "I did <em>not </em>get on his case about it. I told him it was between you two. I just thought it was fair if he knew."</p><p>Sebastian nods. "Okay," he lets out on a sigh. "Yes. That's good. Thank you."</p><p>Kurt runs his hands down Sebastian's arms and curls their fingers together. Sebastian ducks his head and presses a brief kiss to Kurt's lips. Kurt smiles as he presses back into it. A clattering in the kitchen reminds them that they're not alone and they grin as they step back. Kurt squeezes Sebastian's hands before dropping them and walking towards the kitchen to offer his help.</p><p>He's welcomed into the fold and Charlotte hands him a chopping board and a knife, asking him to cut an onion. When Sebastian joins them a second later and asks if he can help too, Charlotte just about loses it.</p><p>"Who are you and what have you done to my son?"</p><p>Sebastian rolls his eyes. "Very funny...Kurt has been teaching me how to cook."</p><p>Charlotte and Olivia both look at Kurt, who bites his lip to hide a smirk. "I kind of <em>had </em>to after you almost burned down my kitchen."</p><p>"Oh my god this is gold," Olivia says. "Seb, open a bottle of wine. Kurt, tell me <em>everything."</em></p><p>*****</p><p>"That was great Charlotte, thank you." Kurt says a few hours later, setting his cutlery down on his plate and sitting back in his chair.</p><p>"My wife's chilli is the best chilli in all fifty states," Greg announces proudly and Charlotte rolls her eyes, throwing her napkin at him.</p><p>"It is <em>not</em>," she protests, shaking her head before turning to Kurt. "Thank you, sweetheart."</p><p>Kurt smiles at her and nods, reaching for his glass of wine. He feels a hand on his back and turns to offer Sebastian a smile, leaning into the touch. It really was a delicious meal. Kurt loves chilli but they don't have it very often at home - neither Finn nor Carole like spicy food and Burt shouldn't have it too often because of his heart. His recipe has nothing on this; Charlotte had even made her own garlic bread.</p><p>"I left out the kidney beans," Charlotte adds. "Apparently they put up a fight around here." Everyone laughs lightly and looks at Sebastian. Kurt reaches his free hand up to stroke his cheek under the mark, and Sebastian turns his face a little to press a kiss to Kurt's palm.</p><p>Once they've all finished eating, Greg makes everyone coffee and they share some of Olivia's chocolates. Even though the longer drive to the chocolaterie was Sebastian's way of clearing his head after their argument, Kurt must agree the chocolate is worth it as well- it is the creamiest milk chocolate he has ever had, filled with soft, dark ganache that melts on his tongue.</p><p>Kurt helps himself to another chocolate, musing how he should ask Sebastian to take him there one day before they drive backe. They would make for a good souvenir, even if they're not local; it would still be something to bring home and say ‘I saw this and thought of you'. Carole would love them, and he wouldn't mind having some more himself, too. He sits back in his chair as he savours the sweet taste and watches the family around him.</p><p>Greg, Julian and Brian are discussing plans for taking the boat out soon, and Sebastian is talking to Charlotte and Olivia. It makes him happy, seeing them all together. They're such a tight-knit group and looking at them all right now, you'd never guess that they all spent months if not years overseas or in different parts of the country.</p><p>He can clearly see why Sebastian wanted to come home from Paris despite everything- his family <em>is</em> home, and they way they include Kurt in their conversations and jokes and show a genuine interest in his opinions, he feels like it has become <em>his</em> home too. Of course he misses his dad, Carole and Finn, but they are all only a phone call away, and him enjoying this moment does not take away from what the Hudmels have together. It simply adds to it.</p><p>As if he has read his mind, Greg turns to him and says: "Maybe next time we can get Burt and the rest of your family to drive down too. I heard that the Johnsons, a couple of houses down the beach, bought an apartment in Florida and are thinking about subletting their place here for holiday guests when they are not using it."</p><p>"I'm sure they'd like that!" Kurt says, already thinking about the look on Finn's face if he were to see the beach. He is pretty sure that his big brother has never seen the ocean either. It is not until he thinks about what renting one of these beach houses might cost, that his smile dims a little. No one around him seems to notice, so he quickly schools his face back into what he expects he would look like if he had grown up with private tutors, a pony and a school year abroad. He has a whole childhood of fantasies to fall back on, so that works.</p><p>*****</p><p>"So, if you guys are all done, we should clear the table," Olivia announces after the last of them have put down their coffee cups. "We need some space."</p><p>Brian groans. "Do we have to?" he asks plaintively and gives his fiancée a pleading look.</p><p>"What?" Kurt asks curiously, handing his cup to Julian, who has gotten up to clear them away. Sebastian is also on his feet, grabbing a towel from the kitchen to wipe down the table. The both of them seem very eager for whatever Olivia is planning.</p><p>"It's tradition!" Olivia insists, and Brian hangs his head, muttering softly to himself. She gets up, kisses his cheek and walks over to a sideboard by the fireplace, almost skipping as she walks.</p><p>"What's tradition?" Kurt asks Brian quietly, sitting back a little so Sebastian can reach the entire table.</p><p>Brian sighs heavily and nods towards Olivia.</p><p>"<em>Smythe Family Game Night</em>," she says happily. The opened sideboard shows a large selection of board games, card games and dice cups. "We always do it the first night here!"</p><p>"They are fanatics," Brian mumbles under his breath. "Each one of them is more competitive than the next. They really go for blood. They form alliances and then break them when it suits them- it's like <em>Game of Thrones</em>! Last year we played Pictionary, and Liv and I were a team...she nearly took my eye out with her pencil. She said my elephant looked like a cow!"</p><p>"Good times," Julian sighs happily, coming back to the table and sitting down. "I won, of course. Pictionary is a game for <em>artists.</em>"</p><p>"<em>Of course</em>," Kurt echoes, rolling his eyes. "What about you, Sebastian? What's your favorite game?"</p><p>"He likes making up completely ridiculous words for Scrabble," Julian says before Sebastian can reply.</p><p>"I don't make them up!" Sebastian protests, and swats him with his cleaning cloth. "I <em>read</em>!"</p><p>"<em>Nerd words</em>," Julian teases. "We can't play it without a dictionary!"</p><p>"I like UNO," Greg chimes in.</p><p><em>"Said nobody but Greg, ever,"</em> Brian adds. "I'm not playing <em>that</em> with this lot again. They all ganged up on me once, stacking draw-two upon draw-two every round until I was holding, like, ten million cards!"</p><p>"How about Monopoly?" Olivia suggests from the living room.</p><p>"NO!" Brian, Julian, Sebastian and Greg all shout simultaneously.</p><p>"Awww…." Olivia lets out, pouting a little.</p><p>"What's wrong with Monopoly?" Kurt asks, looking at Sebastian. He shakes his head a little.</p><p>"Liv always cheats," he says.</p><p>"I do not!" she shouts back from the living room, where she is taking out box upon box of games to see what is stacked behind them.</p><p>"She always volunteers to be the banker and then ends up with a suspicious amount of money," Brian explains.</p><p>"I'm just good at it!"</p><p>Brian blows her a kiss and then turns to Kurt and mimes grabbing bills off the table and stuffing his pockets, giving him a meaningful look.</p><p>"Maybe Kurt should pick the game," Greg suggests. "He's the newest addition to our family, he can go in completely unbiased."</p><p>"Um, okay," Kurt says, and gets up from his chair. "I can try…"</p><p>He walks over to Olivia and kneels down by the sideboard to look inside. He is a little tempted just to pick Scrabble for Sebastian, but another part of him also wants to win, and he thinks maybe Sebastan will have too much of an advantage at that game. He hasn't had that much practise from home; Finn and Puck prefer shooting zombies over trying to spell complicated words.</p><p>So what is <em>he</em> good at? He sees a box of Charades cards, and thinks that maybe, in a different setting, that could be his thing- but does he dare go all out with his body and mimic in front of Sebastian's family? He isn't quite sure about that. He feels comfortable with them, but does he feel <em>that</em> comfortable?</p><p>Then he sees a dark blue box with gold lettering, and smiles to himself. Trivial Pursuit has something for everyone; luck, knowledge, alliances. Of course it matters which edition it is- McKinley High's school library had a game from the early eighties, where more than three-thirds of the ‘recent history' questions were about events from way before any of the students were born- but it says 2009 on the box so it'll probably be okay.</p><p>"Oooh, it's trivia time, everyone!" Olivia lets out as Kurt takes out the box, and Kurt shoots an apologetic look at Brian. He is looking slightly less mortified than he was at the mention of the other games, so maybe this is a good choice.</p><p>"So, who's playing?" Greg asks, looking around at the table. It's a six-player game and there's seven of them, but that doesn't make for equal teams either.</p><p>"You go ahead, I'll sit this one out," Charlotte suggests. "I started a new Grisham novel in the car and it had just started to get exciting when we got here."</p><p>"Are you sure?" Kurt asks. "We could team up?"</p><p>"I'm sure, thank you, Kurt," Charlotte replies. "I'd only win, anyway." She winks at him.</p><p>"Thanks for giving us a chance, honey," Greg jokes, then adds under his breath "It's true, she <em>does</em> know almost everything. That's why I married her."</p><p>Sebastian makes a playful gagging face at Julian, who is also rolling his eyes. Olivia is too busy setting up the board, but Kurt catches Brian gaze at her lovingly at the mention of marriage.</p><p>Kurt grins. Sebastian and Julian can pretend all they want- their parents are adorable.</p><p>"How did you two meet?" he asks Greg.</p><p>"She saved me," Greg says quizzically, sending a fond look towards the kitchen where Charlotte is opening a fresh bottle of wine. "When we were pledges, her sorority and my fraternity were allowed to team up for our initiation, and my House had something like a trivia night. The stakes were pretty high- I'd probably have passed out with alcohol poisoning if she hadn't helped me with all of the questions about ancient Greece. The least I could do to repay her after that was to take her out for dinner…"</p><p>"He was the first man I ever dated who didn't know when the battle of Salamis took place," Charlotte adds. "And I realized that I didn't even care." She blows him a kiss.</p><p>"I still don't know til this day!" Greg admits sheepishly.</p><p>"480 BC," Olivia says.</p><p>"480," Brian confirms casually. "Charlotte tells us every anniversary."</p><p>"What can I say? Just knowing that <em>she</em> knows is enough for me," Greg says, laying his hand over his heart.</p><p>Kurt smirks. He has no idea about ancient Greece either- McKinley isn't exactly known for its quality history classes- but it makes him feel warm inside to see Sebastian's family openly show their appreciation of each other; unlike Mr and Mrs Anderson, who felt like any show of affection in public was to be frowned upon. Their son certainly took that to heart, though in Blaine's case, being bashed hadn't helped. It makes Kurt wonder a little why Sebastian has such a hard time finding his footing with romance and relationships; when his parents and his sister lead by example. Maybe he just tried following in Julian's footsteps with that too.</p><p>When everyone has a fresh beverage and Charlotte has retreated to the terrace with her book and a light blanket, they get started.</p><p>Trivia, it turns out, is Kurt's thing. He may not have the best history knowledge, but there are several other categories, and all questions are multiple choice. Those he doesn't know, he often gets right with a lucky guess. Soon enough, he is leading with four of six wedges against the others. Sebastian has three, Olivia and Julian have two. Greg only has one, because the only wedge slot he ever seems to land on is Pop Culture.</p><p>"There should really be a<em> mom-and-pop</em> culture wedge," Julian teases, "you could win with your knowledge of dad jokes."</p><p>"Watch it, young man," Greg replies. "As I recall, <em>you</em> were the one who thought Louis the XVI commissioned the Arc de Triomphe - and we have stayed in apartments that had a view on the damn thing!"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," Julian says, blushing a little. "So I got I my names mixed up," he admits. "It happens to everyone." He looks around the table eager to divert attention from himself. "At least I didn't say ‘privateers' trade furs for a living!" He gives Olivia a pointed look.</p><p>"I thought that was buccaneers!" Olivia protests.</p><p>"Buccaneers <em>are</em> privateers, but not all privateers are buccaneers," Brian adds sagely. "It's like pirate lingo 101, savvy?"</p><p>"Well, excuse me for not having a little boys' obsession with the <em>Pirates of the Carribean</em>," she snipes back, but it's all very playful, and Kurt can tell none of them are really feeling insulted.</p><p>It's Kurt's turn next and his roll lands him on the Sports &amp; Leisure wedge. He is still missing that one- there's really no way he knows anything about past Super Bowl wins or famous transfers; the only sportsmen he knows by name are those who make money on the side as underwear models- so all he can do is guess. He braces himself as Olivia reads out the question. His motto: When in doubt, guess answer C. It has worked pretty well so far for the other categories.</p><p>"Okay: <em>What are the team colors of the Boston Celtics?</em>" Olivia asks. "<em>A: Red and blue, B: green and blue, C: green and white or D: blue and white?</em>"</p><p>Kurt's mind goes completely blank. His only association with anything ‘celtic' is St Patrick's Day, so he assumes one of the answers with green in it is probably right. When in doubt…</p><p>"C?" he asks.</p><p>"That's correct," Olivia says, "go, Kurt!" She picks up an orange wedge and hands it to him.</p><p>Kurt sees Sebastian studying him from under his eyelashes, and Kurt cocks his head, looking back at him from across the table. It is like Sebastian is trying to figure him out. He has seen this look before, and he remembers when - on the dance floor at the country club, shortly before they finally said the things that made them end up here, together.</p><p>Kurt isn't sure why a game of trivia would inspire Sebastian to look at him like he has just explained the theory of relativity, but he finds himself preening a little as he slides the wedge into his playing piece.</p><p>Olivia is next, answering a question about Patrick Swayze (with Brian groaning in the background that she will get this one because she has seen everything with him in it at least twice), and Sebastian gets one about schools banning motorcycle jackets in the mid-to-late 50s. Kurt is secretly proud of him for knowing about Marlon Brando, and almost misses the next question because he is suddenly imagining Sebastian in such a jacket, straddling a bike (and then, later in that scenario, straddling <em>him</em>). Julian smirks at him like he knows what he's thinking, but to his credit, says nothing about it.</p><p>They play a few more rounds and Sebastian catches up mightily. They are now both at six wedges, but Kurt manages to get to the middle of the board first. If he gets the next question right, he wins. This leaves the others to decide on the category of his last question.</p><p>"Easy," Sebastian says. "Sports &amp; Leisure."</p><p>"Aw," Olivia lets out, frowning. "You should really be nicer to your boyfriend! How about Geography?"</p><p>"I think it's fair," Julian argues. "It took him the longest to get that one. If he gets it, he wins, so we have to make it hard. There's no pampering the newbies."</p><p>"Yeah, you certainly didn't pamper <em>me</em> at UNO!" Brian agrees. "Greg?"</p><p>Greg looks at Kurt and smiles. "I think he's going to beat us either way, won't you, Kurt?"</p><p>"Oh, I don't know," Kurt starts modestly, but then Sebastian taps the orange diamond impatiently and Kurt's eyes narrow. "Yes, fine. Hit me with your best shot."</p><p>Olivia takes out the card and starts reading. "<em>What 1998 NBA team-</em>" she pauses dramatically, and Sebastian raises a defiant eyebrow at Kurt. The chances of him knowing anything about this are just about zero.</p><p>"...<em>placed two players on Blackwell's Best Dressed List and one on his Worst? A: The Miami Heat, B: The Los Angeles Lakers, C: The Philadelphia Knicks, D: The Chicago Bulls?</em>"</p><p>"Ha!" Kurt lets out triumphantly, nearly rising from his seat. "D! It's D! Oh my god!"</p><p>"What are the odds, huh?" Julian says, looking at his little brother. "You finally met your match."</p><p>"How do they make a <em>sports</em> question about <em>fashion</em>, it's like the game just breaks all the rules for him," Sebastian complains, but even he is grinning a little.</p><p>"<em>Everything</em> is about fashion," Kurt declares, and strikes a pose. "And as my first official act as your victor, I shall get everyone more drinks to toast in my honor," he jokes, and gets up.</p><p>"I'll help you," Greg offers, and follows him to the kitchen to open another bottle of wine. He watches Kurt open a drawer to hand him the corkscrew and smiles. "You know your way around already, don't you?" he says fondly.</p><p>"This kitchen is amazing," Kurt replies. "The workspace is huge, and there's so much storage room, with the pantry and everything. Oh, and the espresso machine, it's a dream come true!" He frowns a little as he hears himself, and quickly adds: "The rest of the house is great too! It's not like I've been in the kitchen all week, cooking-" He smiles sheepishly.</p><p>Greg shrugs. "And so what if you were, Kurt? There's nothing wrong with preparing food. I wish my kids were better at it, but I'm afraid we kind of dropped the ball there by hiring catering services for our parties and going out to eat so often. I heard Seb and Jules nearly burned your house down a few weeks ago…"</p><p>Kurt chuckles. "It wasn't <em>that</em> bad." His smile turns into a devilish grin. "But I love holding it over Sebastian's head, so don't tell him I said that."</p><p>"Gotcha," Greg says, winking at him. He takes an opened bottle of wine in his hand. "I'll just go pour Lottie another drink."</p><p>"Oh, can I?" Kurt says, holding out his hand. "It's my round, after all."</p><p>"Be my guest," Greg replies, relinquishing the bottle.</p><p>Kurt takes it and makes his way out to the terrace, but at the table where he expects to find Charlotte, he only sees her novel and an empty wine glass. He scans the terrace with his eyes and finally spots her, sitting on the edge of the balcony in the dark, looking out over the ocean, her feet dangling down and swinging like a little girl's. He is about to say something, when she speaks.</p><p>"I'm not proud of it," she says softly. "But it's like I told you last time, I could see him spiralling-"</p><p>Kurt does a double-take. Who is she talking to? A person on the track to the beach? Herself? He knows his dad sometimes used to talk to his mom after she passed, late in the evenings, when he thought Kurt was asleep. He squints, and then catches it- the flick of a furry tail, black as night. She has a cat in her lap. Before he can make his presence known, she continues.</p><p>"I thought Greg and I were doing the right thing, giving him extra leeway. He seemed to need it after his trip to Europe, and I think in trying to steer in the opposite direction of the Andersons, we let him go too far."</p><p>Kurt holds his breath. Is she talking about Julian?</p><p>"He has just always been so mature, it was easy to forget he's eight years younger than the other two-"</p><p>Oh. She's talking about Sebastian. Kurt is torn- he shouldn't be listening to this conversation, should he? But at the same time, he is extremely curious.</p><p>"I knew he was sneaking out to join Julian at his parties, but I always thought, as long as he is with Julian, he has someone to look out for him, you know? They had only just found each other again and Julian seemed so much happier than before he left. So I pretended I didn't know, just like I pretended not to know when Julian and Olivia snuck out to see Cooper and Brian back then."</p><p>Kurt does a little double-take. Charlotte <em>knew</em>? A part of him wants to tell the Smythe kids right away - <em>you weren't so suave as you thought you were, your mom knew all along!</em> But then she continues.</p><p>"I always stayed up until they were all home and accounted for, no matter how long it took. Some times I'd watch from the window and I'd see them stumble out of a cab together early in the morning and I would just be happy that they hadn't been driving in that condition. I tried not to think about what they might have been doing out there…" She paused. "Maybe that was naive."</p><p>The cat meows softly, and Charlotte glides her hand over its back.</p><p>"A couple of months ago, Sebastian started going out by himself on weekends, too. He'd stay out late and sleep through the mornings. When he'd finally get up he'd be barely responsive and still smell like alcohol. Sometimes he'd be covered in love bites. It was terrible. I knew he was too old to tie him down, but I was so afraid that he'd get hurt or taken advantage of...or just not make it home."</p><p>Kurt swallows hard. It isn't hard to imagine Sebastian in such a state; drunk, numb...especially now that he has heard Sebastian's side of the story. He was trying hard to be like Julian, to be a player, and not to feel - only the heartbreaking thing is that Julian did all of those things <em>because</em> of how he felt.</p><p>"One night, it was nearly five am before he came back in. I had waited up for hours. I even sent out Julian to look for him and had been <em>this </em>close to calling the police. I had gone over what I wanted to tell him; I was going to demand to know where he had been, what he'd been doing and with whom, I was going to move heaven and earth - but when he finally came home, in his shirt, soaking wet and shaking, his lips nearly blue, I was so relieved that he was alive that all I asked was where his coat was. He just shrugged and said he lost it somewhere with his wallet still inside and had ended up walking home."</p><p>Kurt can just see the shrug in his mind's eye, the casual indifference with which the Smythe brothers handle money. He had lost his wallet (or had it stolen, given the places he hung out, Kurt did not find that unlikely either) and was only mildly inconvenienced.</p><p>"We didn't replace his coat or the cards that were in his wallet for a month, hoping that might stop him, but all it did was make him seek other...opportunities. We got a complaint from school that he was breaking curfew. It felt like Julian all over again, even though they hadn't actually found him <em>in</em> someone else's dorm room yet. But then I caught him behind the tennis equipment shack at the club together with another boy. I asked him if it was his boyfriend, and he just <em>laughed</em> at me. Greg said he'd have a word with him, and I'm sure he did, but a few weeks later, I walked in on him in our cabana with another boy. He couldn't even tell me his <em>name</em>."</p><p>She sighs deeply. "And then I lost it. I got so angry that I told him he would be grounded until further notice. He said I couldn't do that to him, that he needed to see his friends, and I told him that having sex with someone you met twenty minutes ago did not constitute <em>having friends</em>."</p><p>Charlotte leans forward a little, and for a moment Kurt holds his breath, afraid she might lose her balance, but then he sees she was just hiking the cat up into her arms, holding it closer to her chest. It mews again, nuzzling its head against Charlotte's shoulder.</p><p>"I know," Charlotte says, "I completely lost it, and in front of the other kid, too! But you know what it's like, don't you; You've had kittens. There is no one who can get under your skin quite like your own child."</p><p>The cat purrs, now rubbing its cheek against Charlotte's neck. She is quiet for a moment.</p><p>"I sent the other boy away and made Sebastian get dressed while I talked it over with his father. We told Sebastian that he would remain grounded and couldn't see anyone unless he tried dating them <em>seriously</em>; Greg said that if Sebastian felt he was old enough to go out and have sex, he should also be mature enough to treat himself and his partners with respect, and that if he couldn't do that, he was clearly still a kid and he'd have to stay home."</p><p><em>Sebastian didn't tell me this part</em>, Kurt thinks. He knew it hadn't all been as arbitrary and unfair as his boyfriend had made it sound. This actually made a lot of sense, and it even sounded a bit like the talk his own dad had given him when he suspected Kurt was on the verge of becoming sexually active. It had been awkward for the both of them, but at least Kurt had had the talk <em>before. </em></p><p>"Sebastian was <em>so </em>angry with us, telling us that we couldn't force him to do anything, but we persisted and made sure there was always someone in the house to keep an eye on him- and then, a few weeks later, he told us about Kurt."</p><p>The cat lifts its little head, and looks straight at him, its eyes glowing like tiny searchlights. Kurt freezes, but Charlotte doesn't notice.</p><p>"I don't know if it was a coincidence or if he had really taken our words to heart, but whatever it was, we gave him permission to start seeing Kurt, and it turned out it was the best thing that could ever have happened to us. Sebastian is a changed man- bit by bit I could see him open up again; to us, to his brother and sister...and now here we are, a family again, and it's all because of Kurt. He is the kindest, warmest soul-"</p><p>Kurt clears his throat to draw her attention, feeling too awkward listening to any more accolades about himself. "Speak of the devil," he jokes shyly. "Hi."</p><p>Charlotte sits up with a start, and the cat in her arm hisses briefly until she shushes it. "Kurt! How long have you been standing there?" she asks. She looks happy to see him, but also a little embarrassed for being caught talking to an animal.</p><p>"Not long," he quickly assures her. "Not long at all."</p><p>Charlotte smiles warmly. "Well, I was just telling Sappho all about you."</p><p>"Sappho, huh?" Kurt says, leaning down a little to look at the beautiful black creature in Charlotte's lap. "Do you live here, too? I haven't seen you around this week."</p><p>"She's a stray, but over the years the neighbours have all started taking turns feeding her. We sometimes take her to the vet," Charlotte explains. "She usually pokes her head in when we're around, though she does seem to prefer the company of women."</p><p>"Well, that explains the name," Kurt says, straightening up with a smirk. "She's beautiful."</p><p>"She is," Charlotte agrees, "and a good listener." She pauses. "Did you want anything?"</p><p>Kurt blinks. "Oh! Yes. I came out to tell you I won the game and to pour you a celebratory drink!" He holds up the bottle of wine.</p><p>"Oh, thank you," Charlotte said, smiling. "My glass is over there. And well done on the game, though it doesn't surprise me- Sebastian is always bragging about how smart you are."</p><p>"He is?" Kurt asks, frowning a little.</p><p>"Of course. But I'm sure you've talked about him a lot at home too…"</p><p>Not sure what to say about that, Kurt just nods, but after everything he has just heard, he feels incredibly guilty perpetuating Sebastian's lie. His mother's version of the story is quite different from the ‘injustice' Sebastian claims to have been put through. Kurt has heard the anguish in Charlotte's voice as she talked about the restrictions they had put on Sebastian at the start of the summer, heard the self-doubt and the struggle of her conscience, trying to both protect her child and make him happy. This was another piece of the puzzle that had been missing- he now knew Sebastian's side and his parents'...and no one knew his.</p><p>"I...actually heard a little more of what you told Sappho just now," he confesses. "About Sebastian."</p><p>Charlotte sucks in a deep breath and frowns. She chews her lower lip for a while. "Please don't think less of him because of his past," she finally says. "I know it must sound awful-"</p><p>"I already knew," Kurt quickly assures her. "He made no secret of it when we met. That was actually something he bragged about to me." He can't stop his lips from twisting a little. "I must admit it didn't make a very good first impression on me, but...the more I got to know him, the more I realized there's a different side to him too. A side that I really like, God help me!" He chuckles a little, hoping Charlotte will take it with humor.</p><p>Charlotte grins and gets up, setting Sappho on the floor. The cat curls itself around her legs, winding in and out from between them.</p><p>"I hope you weren't too embarrassed that first night at our house. He was clearly trying to show us that dating you had not turned him into anything less of a <em>player</em>." She shakes her head a little. "I wanted to tell him off, but I didn't want to embarrass you any further."</p><p>"Oh, I told him off in private for that, don't worry," Kurt says honestly. "It was vulgar, and I told him so."</p><p>He makes a mental note of telling Sebastian about this later because they need to be on the same page about their fictional beginnings, but why should Sebastian be the only one who gets to make up stuff about that?</p><p>Charlotte looks at him with an appraising glance. "I'm glad you gave him a chance," she says, and Kurt feels not worthy of her gratitude - the only reason he gave Sebastian a chance back then was because of the money. Or was it? The past weeks have given him a lot to think about.</p><p>"He gave me a chance, too," he replies. "It takes a special kind of courage to let someone love you."</p><p>As soon as the words leave his lips, he realizes what he has said, and it nearly overwhelms him. He has said it outloud. His gut reaction is to take it back, because even though he knows it's true, is he ready to start telling people he <em>loves </em>Sebastian? Shouldn't Sebastian be the first one to hear that from him?</p><p>But then he sees the look in Charlotte's eyes, such a heartbreaking mixture of pride and relief, and he knows he doesn't <em>want</em> to take it back anymore. She deserves to know.</p><p>"Can I hug you again, Kurt?" she asks, and Kurt nods. She steps into his arms almost shyly, but then wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him tightly, pressing her face against his shoulder. Kurt returns the hug the best he can with one arm, still holding the bottle of wine a little awkwardly, and feeling his heart fill with gratitude for this amazing woman, who loves and supports her children with every fiber of her being. Sebastian is lucky, <em>so damn lucky</em> to have a mother like her, and that's definitely something Kurt wants to tell him as well.</p><p>They stand there for a while, Sappho mewing and patting around them for a moment until she grows bored and jumps down the balcony, and then they are interrupted by someone clearing their throat.</p><p>"One glass of wine and you're already throwing yourself at a younger man's feet?" Greg jokes leisurely. Kurt and Charlotte pull apart.</p><p>"What can I say, darling? He's a trivia winner, you know how I feel about that." Charlotte winks at her husband and Greg just rolls his eyes fondly, walking up to kiss her cheek.</p><p>"I think Seb kind of misses you in there," he tells Kurt. "Olivia, Brian and Julian are not impressed with his marshmallow eating skills at all."</p><p>Kurt lets out a laugh. "That's my cue," he tells Charlotte, and hands Greg the wine bottle. "I didn't get round to her refill yet. I'll leave you in charge."</p><p>"Well, thank you, Mr Hummel," Greg says, bowing his head lightly as he accepts the bottle. Then, he sneezes loudly.</p><p>"Ah, Sappho was here?" he comments dryly, reaching in his pocket for a handkerchief.</p><p>"Yes. She was looking good. Didn't linger when Kurt came around, though," Charlotte says. "I'll go change and wash my hands."</p><p>"I think I can bear it for a little longer," Greg mumbles, reeling her in. "I can kiss you and hold my breath at the same time."</p><p>Kurt cannot wipe the smirk off his face as he goes back inside, even if he wanted to.</p><p>*****</p><p>"What are you grinning about?" Sebastian asks as he joins them by the fireplace. There is a blob of molten marshmallow sticking to the corner of his mouth, and without thinking too much about it, Kurt kneels down on the couch, grabs Sebastian's shirt with two hands, and reels him in for an open-mouthed kiss, running his tongue over the sticky sweet until it dissolves into an explosion of flavor.</p><p>Sebastian grunts a little at the impact, but immediately switches on and takes a hold of Kurt's waist, pulling him closer until Kurt is straddling him. His tongue swipes into Kurt's mouth, chasing the taste of marshmallow and wine.</p><p>"What's going on," Sebastian whispers against his lips, though his hands do not let up roaming over Kurt's lower back.</p><p>"Nothing," Kurt whispers back in between kisses. "I am just having a good time." He lets go of Sebastian's shirt and slides his hands over his shoulders to the nape of his neck, entwining them in his hair.</p><p>"I didn't know winning turned you on so much, babe," Sebastian tries to tease, but his voice sounds breathless and a little strained. He sighs needily at the pressure of Kurt's hands and shifts his hips.</p><p>"I was in a competition choir," Kurt says idly. "Of course it does."</p><p>"Freak," Sebastian mumbles fondly, tightening his hands on Kurt's ass, and as much as Kurt has liked winning the Smythe Family Game night, he's ready to retire now. The things he has heard from Charlotte and the things he wants to tell Sebastian- it can all wait. He has more pressing things on his mind, and they are currently pressing against him.</p><p>Julian whistles loudly, and suddenly Kurt is reminded that they have an audience. He sits up a little and looks at them, blinking a little owlishly.</p><p>"Oh, don't stop," Brian says, taking Olivia's hand and tugging at her to get closer too. "If I had known this was allowed at Family Game Night I'd have taken my chances sooner too…" He plants a kiss on the side of Olivia's neck and she giggles, pulling up her shoulder in delight before turning in to the kiss and accepting it with her lips. Kurt smiles and turns back to Sebastian, kissing him again too.</p><p>"Fine, I'll eat the rest of the marshmallows by myself," Julian grumphs, but even with his eyes closed, Kurt knows he's not as annoyed as he tries to make it sound. Kurt eventually takes pity on him though, and pulls away from Sebastian. They've had a whole week to themselves; maybe he should try and calm down a little and be social now. He meets Olivia's eye- she has clearly come to the same conclusion.</p><p>"So, Jules," she starts.</p><p>Julian looks up from his phone to look at his sister. "Huh? Oh, you're all done making out? I hadn't noticed."</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. Julian is practically pouting.</p><p>"You know, if we find a new venue-" Olivia continues serenely.</p><p>"<em>When</em> we find a new venue," Kurt corrects her.</p><p>"Yes," Olivia agrees, "thank you, Kurt. <em>When</em> that happens, which is hopefully soon, we will have to re-do the whole seating arrangement. We made that over half a year ago and with a whole different place in mind so it'll never work no matter what kind of room we find-"</p><p>"And even if it <em>were</em> identical in size and style," Brian adds, helping her cut to the point, "we would still like to make a few changes to it."</p><p>"We do," Olivia continues. "Like, for example, now that Kurt is coming as Sebastian's plus-one, we'd like to invite his parents and his brother as well."</p><p>Kurt nods. They asked him about that earlier, and he is pretty sure his family will want to come. They got along with the Smythes nicely last time.</p><p>"Okay," Julian says, a calculating look in his eyes. "What does that have to do with me? His brother is straight, right?" He smirks and winks at Kurt.</p><p>"Ugh, Jules!" Olivia lets out in frustration, throwing a cushion at him. "I am trying to give <em>you</em> the option to bring a plus-one as well. I mean, you were always welcome to invite someone, but back when we asked, you didn't seem to want that-"</p><p>"Yeah, I think you said ‘just put me next to some of Brian's hot lawyer friends and I'm set for the night'," Brian reminds him with a smirk, "which I am sure you would never have said if you'd ever been to my office…"</p><p>"He's the only hot one," Olivia tells Kurt in a confidential and proud tone.</p><p>"And the only one under sixty," Sebastian adds gleefully.</p><p>"But now, we were thinking...perhaps you would like to invite Cooper?" Olivia says.</p><p>Where there was an air of teasing and banter before, there is now a stunned silence.</p><p>When Julian doesn't say anything for a while, Kurt speaks up carefully.</p><p>"It doesn't have to mean anything more than what you want it to mean," he offers. "It could just be like a date. A date on which you both look fabulous in made-to-order suits."</p><p>He winks at Julian. He already knows Sebastian's brother is going to look amazing in his suit, and the thought of Cooper in something similar gives him very inappropriate tingles.</p><p>"Coop <em>does</em> like dressing up for parties," Julian says pensively.</p><p>"Not <em>too</em> fabulous, though, or he'll steal my spotlight," Olivia amends.</p><p>Sebastian looks at his brother. "You know, you could drive up a few days ahead, spend some time together before the wedding...someone once told me that does relationships good." He meets Kurt's eyes and offers him a small smile.</p><p>Julian catches the look between them and nods. "Sounds like a smart person."</p><p>He sits up. "I'll ask him. I'm sure he'd be delighted to see you in your wedding dress too, Liv."</p><p>Olivia smiles. "I'd love to have him there, Jules. I mean that. I know you didn't part on good terms back then, but I always liked him and I happen to believe in second chances."</p><p>Julian nods. "We both agreed it's going to be different this time around."</p><p>"Do his parents know yet?" Brian asks.</p><p>"No. Maybe him tagging along as my plus-one would be a nice fuck-you way of telling them." Julian's eye glitter and he reaches for his phone again.</p><p>Kurt can't help but notice that he doesn't even need to tap or swipe into an app- he's already typing, which means he's been chatting with Cooper all along. It makes happiness bubble up inside of him. Maybe the next time they are all here, there'll be 8 guests...and he's really already counting on being invited back, isn't he? That thought makes the happiness overflow.</p><p>*****</p><p>As they close the door to their room, shutting family and fireplace conversation out, Kurt realizes this is the first time they have parted from the Smythes' company and retired to their bed with the actual intention of sleeping in it together; not with one half getting ready to sneak out or the other making a pillow bed on the floor.</p><p>The relief hits him unexpectedly- there's no tension in his shoulders or cramp in his jaws from keeping up a smile, or a guilty feeling worrying his stomach. He has had a genuinely nice evening, and kind of looks forward to seeing them all again in the morning.</p><p>"So what else should I know about this week?" he asks Sebastian as he sits down on the bed to take off his socks.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Sebastian asks. He grabs hold of the back of his shirt and casually yanks it over his head with a firm tug that makes Kurt wince for the expensive material.</p><p>"Well, I knew about the sandcastle competition and the marshmallows, now Smythe Family Game Night…what other beach house traditions are there that I should know of?" Kurt puts his socks away and stands up to shimmy out of his pants.</p><p>Sebastian is quiet for a moment. "I don't know...Mom and Liv usually go shopping while the guys do something else, maybe take the boat out, but it's not really a tradition-" He stops himself and looks at Kurt, suddenly hesitant. "Do you mind? I know you're kind of dropped in the middle of it..."</p><p>This is new. All summer, it has been Sebastian informing Kurt of the status quo of his family; <em>of course</em> there's a country club, <em>of course </em>dinner is black tie, and everything was presented to Kurt on a need-to-know basis with an added air of <em>‘why do I even need to tell you this'.</em> But now, for the first time, Sebastian has stopped and realized maybe Kurt might like to know these things beforehand to mentally prepare himself.</p><p>Kurt smiles and decides to let him off the hook. "Of course I don't mind! I like that you have family traditions that don't center around who can make the most innuendo-filled jokes over dinner."</p><p>Sebastian snorts. "Well, <em>that</em> reduces us down to our finest quality," he replies drily. "There is so much more to us!"</p><p>"Then tell me," Kurt says, turning down the bed sheets to slip under. "I want to know everything."</p><p>"Everything? That's a bit more than we have time for tonight," Sebastian says, joining him under the sheets. "If we look <em>too</em> tired in the morning the whole family will pull out their innuendo again."</p><p>Kurt chuckles. "Fair enough. Then maybe we should just get our beauty sleep. I'll let myself be surprised in the morning." He moves closer to Sebastian to kiss him goodnight.</p><p>Sebastian kisses him softly, his hand reaching up to caress the side of Kurt's face. "There's nothing to worry about," he says quietly. "It's just a holiday. Everything's optional. My dad sometimes gets up early for a swim, depending on whether he's on one of his health trips again or not. The others usually sleep in, and then we have brunch and everyone does their own thing. You can say no to anything. If they wanna go out and you don't, we'll stay in."</p><p>"Mmm," Kurt humms appreciatively, nuzzling his face into Sebastian's palm. "Thank you. I like spending time with them, though."</p><p>Sebastian pulls back a little and looks at him for a moment, and it's hard to guess what he's thinking. There's a shade of worry in his eyes.</p><p>"I'm not expecting you to get along with <em>my</em> family or my friends right away, Bas," Kurt offers, and Sebastian's eyes widen a little, which makes him suspect that it was the right thing to say.</p><p>"I know you and Finn have a history. All I ask for is that you treat them with respect, and we'll worry about any Hudmel traditions later."</p><p>Sebastian snorts. "<em>Hudmel</em>? That sounds terrible." Then he pauses, his throat bobbing as he swallows. "Okay," he adds softly.</p><p>Kurt isn't sure if this completely assuaged his worries, but the look in Sebastian's eyes is now more drowsy and grateful than pensive, and that's probably enough for tonight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Dafty’s co workers; Thank you for putting up with me ranting about this constantly in our daily meetings, my tendencies to get distracted when an idea pops into my head that I just HAVE to get down and my tardiness in the mornings when I oversleep because I was up till 3AM researching something that gets a mention twice in the whole fic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the morning, Kurt is woken by his phone buzzing. He groans, turning his head towards the nightstand and he blinks blearily, trying to focus. His phone is facing down but he can see the screen is lit up, and it continues to buzz. Next to him, Sebastian shifts, tightening his arm around Kurt's chest. </p><p>Kurt looks back at him. Sebastian is still sound asleep, his expression open and soft, and the warmth of his body is so inviting that all Kurt wants to do is ignore his phone and just curl up against him again. But the phone keeps buzzing, and curiosity wins. He reaches out an arm and can just reach the corner of his phone with his fingers without jostling Sebastian. Inch by inch, he drags it over the nightstand until he can grasp it, and lifts it to look at the screen. His eyes widen when he sees the time, and who is calling. </p><p>As far as Kurt knows, Finn hasn't taken on any summer jobs, so by all accounts he should still be fast asleep, not due to drag his long, slightly uncoordinated limbs out of bed until noon. Unless he pulled an all-nighter with Puck playing computer games? But the fact that he's calling and not just sent him a text with a screenshot of some kind of epic highscore tells Kurt that this may be a call he needs to take. Just then, it stops buzzing.</p><p>He fires off a quick text telling Finn he's getting up and will call back in one minute, and puts his phone down. He takes a deep breath and swiftly extracts himself from Sebastian's embrace. Sebastian sighs in his sleep, a frown briefly rippling over his forehead, and then he lets out a loud snore and nearly wakes himself up. Despite the urgency of the call, Kurt snorts and leans over the bed to smooth his hair back. </p><p>Then he snaps back to attention, picks up his phone again and grabs a t-shirt and yesterday's jeans off a chair. He presses dial as he starts making his way through the house towards the terrace, pulling his t-shirt on as he walks and buttoning up the jeans with the phone wedged between shoulder and chin. </p><p>"Hey man, did I wake you? It's not like, night over there is it?" Finn asks, sounding apologetic. </p><p>Kurt narrows his eyes and presses the ball of his hand against one eye socket to rub it as he steps outside into the morning light, groaning a little. "We're both on Eastern Standard, so it's the same time here as with you, Finn. But I'm up now. The question is, why are you?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep," Finn says, sounding genuine. "I didn't know who else to call. Rachel's on a city trip with her dads and -"</p><p>"It's really okay," Kurt assures him, straightening his back and making himself open his eyes and face the sunlight. The beach is completely deserted, save for a single towel. If he squints, he can see a swimmer making his way to the red buoy. "What's going on?"</p><p>It's quiet on the other end for a bit, but before Kurt's early morning brain can go into overdrive about possible doom scenarios, Finn starts to speak.</p><p>"I am worried that I am too tall to fit into a fighter jet," he blurts out. </p><p>Kurt closes his eyes to focus and shakes his head a little. "What...did you have a bad dream or something?" he asks.</p><p>"No, I've been thinking about it all night. You know how cramped it is in there and I just don't think I'm gonna fit."</p><p>Kurt is grasping to understand. "Why would you even want to go into a fighter jet, Finn?"</p><p>"I already lost my dad, Kurt. I can't lose Puck too." He sounds a little desperate.</p><p>Kurt gasps and sinks into one of the chairs around the table, searching his brain for a comeback for that. He is not ready for such an emotional punch this early in the morning. "What happened?" he finally asks.</p><p>"We were hanging at the mall yesterday, and this air force dude came up to us. He's got the uniform and the hat and loads of medals and stuff- and then he's like<em> have you boys thought about your future?</em>"</p><p>Kurt is starting to get an inkling what this is going to be about, and he feels his stomach slowly fill with a heavy, bitter weight. </p><p>"So Puck told him he was gonna move to LA to clean rich ladies' pools and I could help during spring break, and then the guy told us we could be making like 90K a year and get to travel and see the world and stuff-"</p><p>Kurt lets out a soft sigh and looks out over the ocean as Finn continues telling him the recruiter's promises. He has never spoken to anyone from the armed forced himself (because let's be honest, they would know not to approach him, even despite DADT's repeal last year - it's clear at first glance that he can serve looks but not his country), but he can understand how it would sound enticing if you're looking at a future in a rural town and all your friends are moving to big cities.</p><p>"Puck signed up right away. He told me he's gonna be a pilot and he needs me to be his duck."</p><p>Kurt frowns. "His<em> what</em>?"</p><p>"Well, you know, his wing man. Like in <em>Top Gun</em>."</p><p>"Oh!" Kurt lets out, shaking his head a little. "You mean Goose?" For a weird moment, he can just see Finn walk up on the tarmac in a fighter pilot's outfit and a leather jacket with patches and a sheepskin collar as he rips his aviator glasses off in slow motion and <em>Take My Breath Away</em> is playing in the background. </p><p>"Yeah, him," Finn confirms. "Only I'm really worried that I won't fit into the cockpit, and I also don't know what mom's gonna say, I mean, when I told her I wanted to join the army to follow in my dad's footsteps she completely flipped, so I'm not sure she's gonna let me go-"</p><p>"Well, do you even <em>want</em> to be a fighter pilot?" Kurt asks. "What about New Jersey?"</p><p>It's quite for a moment. "Puck's my best friend," Finn says simply.</p><p>Kurt sucks in a deep breath through his nose and holds it for a moment. "Yes, I know that," he replies slowly. "But it's <em>your</em> future, Finn. And your life. And there's no saying you'd even end up flying together. Even if you did make the training and met all the requirements-"</p><p>"You think I can't make it?" Finn sounds a little incredulous. "I'm not bad at sports, I can do a lot of push-ups, more than <em>you</em>."</p><p>"I know that," Kurt replies, "I'm just saying...it's very hard, and if you enlist, you can't just quit if you don't like it. I think you should know what you'd be committing to-"</p><p>"I'd be committing to my best friend-" Finn insists.</p><p>"Yes, I understand. But Finn...do you remember that talk we had when you felt like all you had to offer was being Rachel's boyfriend? You are more than just Puck's best friend, too." He pauses. "I know it's scary to plan your future if you don't know what you want to do yet. But I don't think the solution is in following someone else and letting them choose for you. Especially if the choice is something that's not easily reverted."</p><p>"That's easy for you to say! You already know what you want to do. And so does Rachel, and Puck. You all <em>know</em>."</p><p>Kurt nods pensively. "I do. But it's still scary, maybe even more so because I know what I want- because what if that never happens? I'd have to reinvent myself and find a new dream."</p><p>"What do you mean? You got into NYADA! You're gonna rock that school and become famous, that's a given," Finn states.</p><p>Kurt smiles. "It is," he agrees. This year, next year. He hasn't lost his dream yet. "I just meant, it may seem like you're the only one who hasn't planned out his future to the T just yet, but that's not true. We are all facing a new phase in our lives, with uncertainties and choices. It's a new beginning for all of us. High School is over and no one is telling us what to do anymore - and that's great, but it's also scary."</p><p>"Yeah," Finn admits. "I just thought I'd have a dream by now, you know? That someday, I was gonna wake up and go <em>that's</em> what I wanna do! But it keeps changing and then I'm not sure…"</p><p>"I get that, I really do," Kurt assures him. "But it's okay to take your time. You don't have to rush into it just to have something. Trust me, the air force is still gonna be there next year."</p><p>"I still think someone should look after Puck," Finn mumbles. </p><p>"Puck's a tough guy," Kurt assures him, despite his own misgivings. He's not sure the military is right for Noah either, but out of the two, he does seem more likely to succeed there than Finn. </p><p>"Yeah, he is. You know, if New Jersey doesn't work out, Burt said he'd teach me to do the accounts of the shop so I'll learn more than just changing tires."</p><p>"That's good, Finn. I know he really appreciates your help."</p><p>"He's really nice," Finn says.</p><p>"Mmm. Runs in the family," Kurt agrees.</p><p>"Yeah, it does! So...are you still at the beach? What are you guys gonna do today? Did you see any sharks yet?"</p><p>Kurt grins, and before he knows it, he's telling Finn all about swimming in the ocean, and <em>the dolphins</em>, and sandcastles and marshmallows, and he is still talking when he can see Greg walk up the path to the house, wearing bathing shorts, a towel slung over his shoulder. Kurt holds up his hand in greeting and Greg waves at him, pointing at the small beach shower to signify that he'll be up soon. </p><p>Kurt makes Finn promise that he won't sign anything, and that they'll talk more when he gets back from the beach house. Satisfied that he won't come home to find Finn has left for some kind of bootcamp, he hangs up and waits for Greg to come up.</p><p>"Good morning," Greg greets him. He is looking a lot more awake than Kurt feels. </p><p>"Good morning," Kurt says. "Isn't the water really cold this early in the morning?"</p><p>"Yeah, it really shocks you awake!" Greg says enthusiastically, taking a seat next to Kurt. "You should try it tomorrow!"</p><p>Kurt smirks. "No, thanks. One early morning was enough." He holds up his phone to show Greg why he was on the terrace.</p><p>"Home front? Your dad?" </p><p>Kurt can't help but notice the pleasant tone in Greg's voice at the thought of his dad, and even though Greg has made his admiration for him no secret from day one, it's still a bit of a novelty. The Andersons never made any attempt to hide their complete indifference to his family; on one gruelling Sunday, they even suggested his mom come pick him up.</p><p>"My step-brother," Kurt corrects. "He, uh...needed a second opinion on something."</p><p>Greg smiles. "Ah yes, Finn. You know, we've only met once, but I kind of feel like I knew the both of you already. Your dad talked about you a lot in his campaign speeches."</p><p>"He did?" Kurt asks, a little surprised. "In what context?"</p><p>"When he talked about school funding for sports and art, and how disproportionate it is. He'd say that with one son in Glee club and one on the sports team, it became quite clear that one was not treated as the other, but that he could tell that both after-school activities meant a lot to his kids; and it was unfair that one had easy access to new jerseys, rides to games and event sponsoring, and the other had to do their own lobbying and bake-sales to be allowed to compete."</p><p>"Well, that's true," Kurt conceded.</p><p>"I was proud to give him my vote," Greg says. "Especially against that Sylvester person, who wanted to abolish any after school activity that wasn't football or cheerleading!" He shakes his head. "She didn't exactly make the sanest impression."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "She rarely does."</p><p>"We need people like your dad in politics, Kurt," Greg says, turning serious again. "Especially with so many people like <em>my</em> dad still around."</p><p>Kurt frowns and cocks his head.</p><p>"Oh, Sebastian didn't tell you about him yet? Well, I don't blame him. They don't exactly see eye to eye. I doubt my dad sees eye to eye with anyone, actually," Greg muses.</p><p>"How so?" Kurt asks, his curiosity piqued. </p><p>"Where to start?" Greg asks rhetorically. "Gregory William Smythe, <em>senior</em>-" the name brings a twist to his lips that mirrors that of Sebastian and Julian, and Kurt isn't sure he has ever seen Greg look so bitter, "values hard work most of all, and his definition of ‘hard work' is measured in money. Anything that distracts from that, such as art, is a frivolity. Authors, poets, actors-" he pauses, "public defenders… all just wasting their time. He also believes the less fortunate simply need to work harder, and that charity is a waste of money." </p><p>"Wow," Kurt lets out, and Greg nods.</p><p>"Now there are plenty of people like him, and growing up I learned how to keep my mouth shut about it, but that ended when I met Lottie. Did you know her parents are from Europe? Her mom's family is French, her dad's German. Both of them lived here until their retirement so it doesn't even really matter, but it mattered to my dad. The French part wasn't the problem, but German? He kept going on about how his family did not fight overseas for me to be dating a ‘half-Kraut'..." Greg rolls his eyes. </p><p>"Of course I married her anyway, and from then on, everything he disapproved of in my life was <em>her</em> fault. My work, the various charities we contribute to, Julian...Sebastian."</p><p>Kurt takes in a sharp breath. With the image he has now formed in his mind of Mr Smythe sr., he can already imagine how he would ‘disapprove' of his grandsons. Greg's next words confirm it.</p><p>"If it were up to him, he would have sent them to conversion therapy."</p><p>Kurt winces.</p><p>"His view of the world could not be further away from mine," Greg assures him. "We would <em>never</em> do that to our children." He is looking at Kurt with an urgent, pleading look, and Kurt quickly nods.</p><p>"I know," he says. "So are you still in contact with him?"</p><p>"I have to be," Greg admits. "He has shares and parts in too many of the larger firms and organizations I need to deal with on a daily basis, not to mention the <em>actual</em> business that he refuses to retire from - he's scared I'll ‘ruin it'." Greg shakes his head. "Let's just say he's not exactly on our Christmas Party Shortlist. We try to avoid him seeing the children if we can."</p><p>Kurt nods again and lets out a breath of relief. It doesn't seem likely they will ever need to meet, and he doesn't think he minds that at all.</p><p>"What can I say, Kurt? Family...you can't pick ‘em," Greg says. "I just hope that with the help of good men like your father, we can turn this country around and restore the damage that my father's generation did, for the sake of our children- and <em>your</em> generation's children," he adds, "whether you choose to have any or not."</p><p>Kurt blushes a bit at that, because that's certainly not a conversation he has ever had before- not with his dad, or with Blaine and his parents, and certainly not with Sebastian. Greg shoots him a knowing grin. </p><p>"Don't worry about that yet, kiddo," he says, and leans over to lightly punch Kurt's shoulder. "You two have plenty of time to figure things out. And we've got Olivia and Brian to pester for grandkids first." </p><p>He winks to show he's kidding, and Kurt's heart feels a lot lighter. From how he has gotten to know them, the Smythes don't seem like the type of people who would push their children into anything, but he'd never really talked to Greg like this before.</p><p>"Don't forget Julian and Cooper," Kurt adds playfully, and realizes his error as he sees the surprise on Greg's face. "Um, that is...I'm not sure...Julian said they were getting back together," he hedges, inwardly cursing himself. Clearly Julian had not told everyone yet. </p><p>"I didn't know yet, but that's okay," Greg says. "I won't mention it before he does." </p><p>Kurt lets out a soft breath of relief.</p><p>Greg sits back and looks out over the ocean. "I always liked Cooper," he muses. "His parents, not so much. But he was a good kid. Cheerful. Bright. We tried to fight for him when it all blew up, especially Charlotte. She drove over to their house right away, but they wouldn't even let her inside, and treated her like garbage." He shakes his head a little. </p><p>"Of course we wouldn't have approved of the two of them having sex on school premises, but it was just a kiss, and the Andersons were completely overreacting. Wouldn't be reasoned with." He pauses. "Seeing Julian so heartbroken nearly broke Charlotte, too."</p><p>Kurt thinks about the things he had overheard Charlotte tell Sappho and nods. "I hope they can work it out," he says softly. "If they still want to try after all this time...it means there is something real there."</p><p>They are quiet for a moment, each left to their private thoughts. Kurt wonders what would happen if his dad- or Sebastian's parents- would try to keep them apart. They <em>are </em>graduated now and can do whatever they want, but would Sebastian ever give up what he has, his financial support, his family...for him? It is a good thing the Smythes like him so much, because Kurt isn't sure what the answer to that would be.</p><p>"Did you boys have fun this week? Greg asks after a while, interrupting his train of thoughts.</p><p>"Oh, yes!" Kurt replies eagerly, and quickly tells him a few of the things he has just shared with Finn. Greg listens with a rapt smile, every now and then adding a comment. </p><p>"And <em>Rolande</em>?" he asks conversationally.</p><p>Kurt humms happily. "The best. I had never had a real galette before, they are amazing! And we got take-out from there on Saturday too, it was delicious." As he follows Greg's eyes towards the kitchen, he adds: "So delicious there were no left-overs. Sorry."</p><p>Greg chuckles. "No worries, I shouldn't have any anyway. Gotta fit into my suit at my baby's wedding!" He pats his flat stomach and Kurt bites his tongue. He is Julian and Sebastian's dad after all, and Kurt is not sure how he'd take a compliment on his physique from his son's gay lover.</p><p>"How about an espresso?" Greg offers, and grins. "Or are you going back to bed?"</p><p>Kurt looks down at the phone in his hand and frowns. He hadn't thought about that as a real option so far. He has just assumed that, now that Greg knows he is awake, it would be rude to sneak back, and they'd stay up until the others came out. </p><p>He thinks of Sebastian, still sleeping, half-wrapped in the bedsheets warmed by his body, and suddenly he craves the weight of his boyfriend's arm around him, and the quiet of their shared bedroom. </p><p>"Say no more!" Greg lets out, and gets up. "I'll make myself one. Go on. I'll see you at lunch." He winks cheekily and leaves Kurt to hurry back to Sebastian's bed.</p><p>"Mmm...where've you been?" Sebastian mumbles when Kurt slips back under the covers. He has taken off his jeans and seeks out Sebastian's warm legs with his own. </p><p>"Finn called," he replies, nuzzling his face against Sebastian's shoulder and closing his eyes.</p><p>"I thought he'd have learned to tell time by now," Sebastian sighs. </p><p>"Don't be mean," Kurt says, omitting the fact that Finn did not know which timezone North Carolina was in. "He needed my advice. Puck enlisted with the air force."</p><p>"Oh. Did he make a plea deal with his probation officer?"</p><p>"You know Puck and Finn are my friends, right?" Kurt reminds him. "No, Finn was wondering if he should join too, to keep Puck out of trouble. I told him he shouldn't let others decide his career for him. He said he'd think about it."</p><p>"Crisis averted then. Good deed for today done before 8 am, karma points awarded. Can we go back to sleep now or what?" Sebastian asks. </p><p>"<em>What</em>," Kurt replies, and kisses him, intent on making him pay for making jokes at his friends' expense. </p><p>*****</p><p>When they finally make it out of bed, they find the rest of the Smythes on the terrace, sitting in the morning sun with books, ipads and magazines.</p><p>"Good morning," Charlotte says cheerfully as she looks up from her book. She smiles warmly at Kurt as she takes in his appearance. "I always loved that shirt."</p><p>Kurt looks down on it and runs a hand over the front. He had fallen in love with it a few days ago and had been waiting for an occasion to try it. Now that his sunburn has finally turned to something like a tan, the beige seemed to call out his name.</p><p>"You mean <em>good afternoon</em>," Julian teases, and makes a big show out of checking his watch. It is a little after twelve, so technically not morning anymore.</p><p>Kurt blushes a little at the knowing smiles the whole Smythe clan are throwing at them. Hadn't Sebastian said they <em>all</em> liked to sleep in?</p><p>"Leave them alone, Jules. It's their holiday, too," Greg says before he can say anything more. "Besides, Kurt was up before you were."</p><p>"I bet he was," Julian retorts before anyone can stop him. Greg just rolls his eyes.</p><p>"Oh, is that your wedding book?" Kurt asks Olivia, hoping to divert attention from his glowing cheeks. </p><p>"It is," Olivia says, making room on the bench next to her. "I'm just going through the list of our B-locations, but every single one I have called so far is booked out."</p><p>"Well, good," Kurt says, sitting down. "Because we are not getting you married in a <em>B-location</em>. We're going to find you something A+. Why don't you show me what you had so far…" He reaches for the large folder.</p><p>"Wait, are you doing this <em>now</em>?" Julian asks. "We just agreed the guys were going water skiing today!" He shoots Sebastian a questioning look. Sebastian shrugs and looks at Kurt.</p><p>"Oh, I don't mind if you go," Kurt offers quickly. "This will probably just be boring for you."</p><p>"Yeah, but-" Sebastian starts.</p><p>"We want <em>you</em> to come too, Kurt," Brian explains. "You're a guy, right?" He smirks.</p><p>"Um...yeah," Kurt says, a little perplexed. When Sebastian had mentioned that it's something the boys often do, he hadn't expected to be <em>part </em>of the boys' team; he never was. "But I've never water-skied before."</p><p>Sebastian beams a smile at him. "I can teach you."</p><p>"Teach him what, falling down?" Brian teases. "<em>We</em> can teach you, Kurt. Sebastian sucks at it."</p><p>"No, I don't!" Sebastian objects, kicking the side of Brian's chair. "I cleared the ramp last year!"</p><p>"I wasn't there, didn't see it, doesn't count," Brian states.</p><p>"Boys, please," Greg says. "Why don't we let <em>Kurt</em> decide what he wants to do today. If he and Liv want to do their thing first, we can always go tomorrow. The ocean's not going anywhere."</p><p>Kurt looks at Olivia. She's chewing the side of her lip and is looking a bit anxious. "I think this is a bit time-sensitive, guys," Kurt says apologetically. "The sooner we contact these venues, the more chances we have of finding something."</p><p>"Okay," Julian says, looking at his sister, "but tomorrow, <em>we</em> get Kurt!"</p><p>Kurt offers them a small smile and busies himself with Olivia's folder. He isn't sure why his eyes are suddenly misting over, or why his throat feels thick, but he's pretty sure it has something to do with the way they all genuinely seem to want him to be a part of their group. </p><p>A warm hand closes over his shoulder and when he looks up, Sebastian is looking at him. They share a look, and although Kurt doesn't have any words to explain right now, he gets the feeling Sebastian already knows. It helps dissolve the lump in his throat a little, and he covers his hand with his own while he focuses back on the book, comforted by the warmth of it under his palm. <em>Finally,</em> he thinks, <em>I get to be picked first.</em></p><p>The other men eventually get bored just sitting around and decide to go out and check on the boat for their trip, leaving Kurt with Olivia and Charlotte to talk wedding plans. They make several appointments to go and see new locations, and Olivia makes Kurt promise that he'll come to Pennsylvania early to help. She hardly has to twist his leg because organising weddings is like crack to Kurt- though he does need to get back to Ohio before he can join them there, because he's <em>not </em>going venue hunting in beach clothes, even Sebastian's. </p><p>Apart from that, he also wants to check in with Finn and his dad, just to make sure they are doing okay. But for now, they have a few days at the beach house left to make plans and enjoy the sun- and tomorrow, he's going to learn how to waterski, apparently. He can't wait. It sounds a little dangerous, but now that he's a one-week-beach-veteran, he is fairly confident he can do it. </p><p>*****</p><p>"Woah," Kurt says when he gets his first site of the Smythe's yacht the next morning, and he stops in his tracks. He's not entirely sure why he's surprised at seeing the gorgeous twenty four meter luxury yacht- he's seen the Smythe house, the fleet of cars, the beach house and <em>private</em> beach; but still somehow he'd not been expecting this. When Sebastian had told him about ‘the boat' he'd somehow pictured something with sails.</p><p>"I should have saved that sailor outfit for today," he says. Sebastian smiles fondly at him and places a hand to the small of his back.</p><p>"If the outfit is in the laundry, just the hat would have been fine too," Julian suggests, and subsequently hums Joe Cocker's ‘Leave Your Hat On'. "</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes and sticks his leg out as Julian walks past them. He sees, hops over it lightly and winks at Kurt.</p><p>"Julian, stop pestering your brother's boyfriend and come and help," Greg calls out to his eldest son. He has his head and upper body inside the hold and is rummaging for something. Julian gives Kurt and Sebastian his signature two fingered salute before jogging on to help his dad.</p><p>"Come on, we can sit up top. The upper deck is through here," Sebastian says, taking Kurt's hand and tugging him gently forward. Butterflies whirl up in Kurt's stomach.</p><p>"Hold up Seb," Greg says as they walk past him. He straightens up and hands Sebastian two padded black vests with several straps and buckles. Sebastian takes them wordlessly and hands one to Kurt. </p><p>Kurt looks at him a bit perplexed and Sebastian smiles bashfully. "Standard safety procedure," he says, sounding a little embarrassed. "My dad always insists." </p><p>With a flash of clarity, Kurt realizes they are life jackets.</p><p>"This doesn't look like the tacky orange things they wear on TV," Kurt muses, admiring the black outer fabric, "it's almost <em>stylish.</em>"</p><p>"On that, my mom insists," Sebastian replies, smirking. "Here," he adds, putting his life jacket down and taking Kurt's from him. He opens the clip and holds it out. </p><p>Kurt steps into it, holding out his arms, and Sebastian slips the inflatable part over his shoulders, using the proximity to place a kiss at his neck. He fastens the front clip over Kurt's chest and then takes a clip that's attached to a long piece of material at the back and feeds it through his legs to secure it at the front. </p><p>Kurt sucks in his breath a little at the last part, but he can't get too worked up with Greg, Julian and Brian all there, and it's over before it even really started. Sebastian tightens the strap between his legs and folds the end into a hidden pocket in one of the pads on his chest.</p><p>"Thanks," Kurt says, clearing his throat. He bends his knees a little and moves around making sure it's still comfortable.</p><p>Sebastian winks at him as he quickly puts his own on and then he's nudging Kurt inside. The interior of the yacht is exquisite. A light grey carpet covers the floor of the living area and a large egg shell blue corner sofa is nestled in against the wall. A matching smaller loveseat faces it against the other wall. Up front, Kurt can see a small kitchenette and a dining table. Just beyond that, sectioned off by a glass divide, is the bridge.</p><p>Sebastian leads him up a ladder to the upper deck. "This is the flying bridge," he explains once they're up. "When the weather is nice like this, dad steers from up here. The main bridge downstairs is used at night or if the weather is crap." He sits down on one of the padded seats that rounds around the edge of the deck, his long frame lounging comfortably in the space in a way that gives off an air of belonging. Kurt walks up to the helm and runs his fingers over the bright silver wheel. He has never really been much of a pirate fantasy boy, but he's starting to feel it now.</p><p>"Have you been on many trips?" he asks, his eyes moving to sweep over the fleet of boats in the harbour.</p><p>Sebastian nods. "We usually take her out a few times whenever we come here, and sometimes mom and dad will come down throughout the year if they need a break. Dad used to sail a lot when he was younger, but it's more just a hobby now. She lives here year round and we use her for water sports or exploring the outer islands rather than long voyages. She sleeps six, so sometimes we'll stay overnight somewhere. Of course we'd have to figure out how to fit seven people in...if-" he breaks off. "If you want to, of course."</p><p>Kurt smiles and moves to sit next to him, pressing a kiss to Sebastian's cheek. "That sounds very romantic." He is kind of already looking forward to sleeping on the yacht; with the gentle swaying of the narrow beds, out on open water, away from the light pollution- they would see all the stars. </p><p>Just then, the floor tilts more than Kurt estimated, and he has to adjust his balance. "Provided I don't get seasick," he adds.</p><p>"Don't worry Kurt," Greg says as he makes his way through the hatch onto the deck. "Just keep an eye on the horizon and you'll be fine. If you do feel ill at any time just let me know." He smiles at Kurt and Kurt returns it. Greg walks up to the helm and puts a key into the ignition. He has put a hat on to protect himself from the sun and Kurt feels it really completes his captain look.</p><p>"Where are Jules and Brian?" Kurt asks looking around. </p><p>"Worried about me, sweetheart?" Julian calls out of sight and Kurt stands up to look for the source. He is standing on the lower deck at the front end of the yacht, unwinding a thick rope from around a mooring needle. A glance to the back of the yacht confirms that Brian is doing the same thing there. They both stow the ropes onboard and disappear out of sight. A moment later they appear through the hatch. </p><p>Julian winks at Kurt as he surfaces and Kurt rolls his eyes fondly, settling back against Sebastian's chest. Julian's grin grows wider. He takes a seat on the other side of the deck and pulls his phone from his pocket. </p><p>"Social as ever, Jules," Brian teases, sitting down next to him. Julian sticks a finger up at him and Brain laughs.</p><p>"Say hi to Cooper for us," Kurt adds sweetly. </p><p>"Maybe I am not texting Cooper," Julian challenges. Brian peers at his phone.</p><p>"He is," he confirms drily. Julian gives him an exasperated look, and Kurt chuckles at their brother energy. </p><p>"Cooper texts like a school girl," Julian scoffs, but Kurt can tell he's mostly just putting up a show, because he does glance at his screen as he speaks. "He sends more emojis than anyone I know. Did Blaine do that too?"</p><p>He notices his mistake as soon as it comes out of his mind, and his eyes go a little wide, flitting from Kurt to Sebastian guiltily. "I mean-"</p><p>"He didn't," Kurt says. "In fact, for the longest time, he signed each text with his name." Next to him, Sebastian snorts.</p><p>"A picture sometimes says more than a thousand words," Brian adds sagely, "like when your sister sends me <em>tongue smiley, taco-</em>"</p><p>"OH GOD!!" both Smythe brothers let out, and Brian grins smugly. "We're good to go, Greg." he says innocently and winks at Kurt. </p><p>The awkward moment has passed, and Kurt is grateful for it. He doesn't want to dwell on Blaine's texts (or recent lack of texts) today. He wants to be happy for Julian instead, who may pretend texting is for teens, but even if it was, that's okay- because he missed a large part of his teenage years and has some catching up to do.</p><p>"Alright then, raising the anchor," Greg announces. Kurt watches him turn a dial and feels the boat jolt a little as a mechanical grinding noise fills the air. </p><p>Sebastian's arm comes to settle around his back and he squeezes Kurt's hip. "Relax babe."</p><p>"I'm fine," Kurt says quietly but settles into the embrace anyway. Once the anchor has been raised, Greg turns the key another notch and presses a button, an engine comes on and then they're pulling away from the jetty. </p><p>Kurt sits up a little to watch over the side. The yacht sails smoothly through the water, and Kurt assumes if it's the nautical equivalent of their cars; fast, comfortable, easy to handle, the engine reacting just right - the best money can buy.</p><p>As they make their way through the harbour towards open water, Kurt looks at all of the other vessels moored up. When he used to think about people who owned <em>boats</em>, he assumed they were all like the Andersons - stuck up, snobbish and ‘better than everyone else'. Now that he's met the Smythes however, he's wondering if maybe a lot of the families they're passing aren't more like them, and if the Andersons are in fact the anomaly. At least outside of Ohio. It betters his outlook on the world a little, and somehow makes it all a little brighter.</p><p>Greg increases the speed as they reach open water and the wind whips through Kurt's hair. He turns his face up to the sky and breathes in deeply; the air smells like salt and there's a freshness to it that Kurt hasn't experienced before. From their high vantage point Kurt feels a bit like he's flying. He silently wonders if he could rope Sebastian into a Titanic reenactment at some point, but isn't sure Sebastian's new found habit of swallowing his girl-jokes would be kept if he did that. Still, a boy can dream.</p><p>As the speed increases further and they zip past the outer islands, Kurt feels a tap on his shoulder. He opens his eyes to look at Sebastian. Sebastian is grinning, and he points to the front of the yacht. Kurt follows his direction with his eyes, letting out a gleeful cry. A school of dolphins have joined them and are playing in the slipstream they're making through the water.</p><p>"Oh my god!" Kurt says kneeling up on the seat to get a better look. He takes his phone from his pocket and snaps a couple of pictures.</p><p>"You know," Greg calls back. "Dolphins are highly intelligent creatures. Studies show that when presented with a mirror to look into, the dolphins recognise that it's their own reflection they're seeing."</p><p>"I love dolphins," Kurt says wistfully. "I've never seen any up close like this before."</p><p>"We can go down there later if you want, get even closer," Sebastian says eagerly, pointing to the lower deck where there are two sets of padded mats coupled together. Kurt grins and nods, bouncing in his seat a little. From the side, he sees Brian watching them with a fond smile on his lips.</p><p>They travel further out and Kurt watches as the color of the sea changes from a bright clear turquoise to a darker blue. Looking down into the depths of the sea and the mysteries it holds causes nerves to flutter up inside him and he sits back down slowly, leaning against Sebastian's side.</p><p>"Everything okay?" </p><p>"Mmm, it's just...so deep," he replies. "Makes you wonder what's down there. It's probably not as friendly or harmless as the dolphins."</p><p>"Don't worry, we won't be going in the water this far out. Dad just likes to give the yacht a run if it's been stationary for a while. We'll go back inside the island barrier to ski."</p><p>"Okay," Kurt says. "Sorry."</p><p>Sebastian frowns at him. "Why are you sorry?"</p><p>Kurt shrugs in response. "I don't know, I feel like I should be braver?" </p><p>It feels a bit like he's willingly opening himself up for the girl jokes now, but he doesn't want to hide how he feels. He wants Sebastian to be honest with him about what he likes and doesn't like (even about trivial stuff like old Hollywood movies), without the need to pretend to be into ‘tough guy stuff'- and so Kurt owes him the same honestly. Swimming over the home of the giant Kraken is just not something Kurt feels tough enough to do, so he doesn't want to pretend he is.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "No need. Liv hates open water too, and she's one of the bravest people I know." He's completely matter-of-fact about it, and no jokes forthcoming.</p><p>Kurt relaxes a little. "So, I'm not being a wimp?"</p><p>"Definitely not, and none of us are going to make you ski if you don't want to...but it's hella fun."</p><p>Kurt nods again. "Okay."</p><p>They sail around for an hour or so, Sebastian and the others pointing out sights on the coastline to Kurt as they pass them and telling tales of previous summer adventures. Kurt loves it; these are not braggy stories about elite yacht clubs or private islands- they are just stories about family holidays. In return, Kurt shares a few stories of the times his dad set up a tent in their backyard in the summer holidays and they slept in it for a week, of tea parties with his teddy bears, and when they attempted to build a treehouse. They are not glamorous stories, but they are of family, even if they were just a small one.</p><p>Eventually, Greg loops around and starts heading back the way they came, steering towards a gap between two of the islands. From his seat on the flying deck, Kurt can see some of the lighthouses that Sebastian mentioned on their first day. They're not, as he pictured, the stereotypical red and white striped; but instead are simple structures painted white with the occasional detail - one has a black strip across the base and a couple are left in the original brick. They're all majestic to Kurt and make him think of times gone by when the fishermen would go out to sea and the light beams from the shore guided them home.</p><p>"The water way is clear today guys, we should be able to get a good hour or two in without disruptions," Greg calls as the water starts changing back to a friendlier looking aqua. The yacht starts to slow down as they make their way in. </p><p>"Lowering the anchor," Greg calls and the same mechanical whirring sound from earlier could be heard. </p><p>"Does he always call out what he's doing or are we supposed to help?" Kurt asks Sebastian quietly. </p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "It's a nautical thing, like a ‘heads up'. He'll tell us if he needs help."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>The yacht jolts a little as the anchor is caught on the seabed and Greg shuts off the engine.</p><p>"Are we not using the yacht to waterski?" Kurt asks as everyone stands up.</p><p>"No, it's too big to maneuver at fast speeds. We have a small powered rib boat in the hold that we use for water sports," Greg says, taking his hat off. </p><p>Kurt nods. They make their way down to the lower deck and the Smythe boys and Brian set to work. Kurt watches as Brian and Julian open the hold at the rear of the ship and reach into the depths. Together they pull out a small inflated ribbed boat, followed shortly by a motor engine and Kurt watches them piece the two together before lowering it into the water. </p><p>"Here," Sebastian says, pressing something into Kurt's arm, he turns around and sees that Sebastian is handing him a wet suit. "We'll get you your own if we come out again but you can use mine for today."</p><p>Kurt looks at him perplexed. "What are you going to wear?"</p><p>"I'll wear mom's," Sebastian says with a shrug. </p><p>"I can wear hers if you like," Kurt offers, thinking of his height compared to Sebastian's.</p><p>"Nah, it's cool," Sebastian says, shrugging. "Your shoulders are broader than mine and...well, it's hot pink and I'm not sure that's your color." </p><p>Kurt stares at him for a moment, completely stunned, and embarrassingly, a little teary eyed. This here is the final drop of proof that the arrogant, thoughtless boy he'd met at the start of the summer was gone. Sebastian gave him his own, so he wouldn't have to wear the girly suit.</p><p>"I look good in <em>any </em>color," he says, mock-vainly, but then offers Sebastian a soft smile. "But thank you."</p><p>If they weren't in immediate danger of being interrupted by Sebastian's brothers and father, Kurt would kiss him right now.</p><p>Sebastian smiles at him, eyes twinkling. Kurt does kiss him then; it's brief and not at all like the kiss he <em>really</em> wants to give him, but he presses up on his tiptoes anyway and wraps a hand around Sebastian's neck to draw him in, holding the pressure for as long as he dares.</p><p>"Alright, love birds," Brian says, poking his head into the cabin. He already has his wetsuit on. "You can make out later, let's get our skiing on."</p><p>They grin and step away from each other to put on their wetsuits. When Sebastian takes his out of the closet, Kurt sees that it is indeed quite pink, with lilac and white stripes on the sides, and he bites on the corners of his smile. "It really is more <em>your </em>color," he teases, pulling off his t-shirt. </p><p>Sebastian smirks, and his eyes linger on Kurt's bare chest. Kurt smiles. He never thought he'd be so comfortable spontaneously undressing in broad daylight (on a yacht!) but this truly is a holiday of firsts.</p><p>"God, Jesus," Kurt exclaims as he tries to pull up the wetsuit. "I know I wear skinny jeans but this really is a bit extreme!" The material is clinging to everything and feels stiff under his hands.</p><p>"Be glad you're not putting it on wet," Sebastian says sliding his arms into his suit and shimmying it up over his shoulders. "Do me up and I'll help you," he instructs, turning around so that Kurt can zip him up. </p><p>Kurt lets go of his wetsuit and reaches forward to grab the long ribbon attached to Sebastian's zip, placing a hand on Sebastian's waist to steady himself. Once the zip is done up, Kurt lets his hand slip down to squeeze Sebastian's hip and feels him press into the touch. "Don't make it tighter now," Sebastian whispers, and Kurt quickly lets go.</p><p>Then he's turning around and Kurt lets his hand fall down to his side so that Sebastian can help him with his. Together, they manage to pull the material up to Kurt's waist and then all the way up until he's fully dressed. </p><p>"It will loosen up when you get in the water," Sebastian promises.</p><p>"If it's cold enough," Kurt quips, winking. </p><p>Now that the suit is on, Kurt actually doesn't feel too bad. The material is just used to being fitted to a different body. It feels quite intimate knowing how it is usually wrapped this tightly around his boyfriend.</p><p>"You all ready boys?" Greg calls from outside. Sebastian replies that they'll be right out and sneaks a quick extra kiss before they do.</p><p>"Can I ask why we have to wear these?" Kurt asks as they meet Greg out on the back of the yacht to the little ledge that leads down to the water. One glance at Julian in his skintight suit, black with silvery lines outlining his biceps and a silvery-grey, V-shaped panel down his front, accentuating his broad shoulders and narrow hips, makes him quickly focus his eyes on the boat.</p><p>"Insulation. The water out here is colder than by the house, and the wetsuit helps keep your body warm," Greg explains. </p><p>"Also, hitting that water at speed really fucking hurts and it protects you a bit," Sebastian adds.</p><p><em>Only a bit? </em>Kurt muses, but doesn't want to voice it out loud. Before he can get too caught in his anticipation, Julian clears his throat, and Kurt realizes he is holding something out to him. He had been so intent on not looking at Julian's amazing wetsuit that he has completely missed it. It's a new lifejacket, more suited to water sports; they clip around the front and are padded with air all the way around - rather than compacted inflatables that only expand once they are activated. With a blush, Kurt thanks him, and Julian's eyes glitter. He seems to know exactly what Kurt is thinking, but to Kurt's relief, does not draw Sebastian's attention to it. </p><p>Instead, he rounds on Sebastian himself. "Nice suit," he teases. "Matches your eyes."</p><p>Sebastian strikes a pose. "I look good in <em>any </em>color." </p><p>Kurt laughs hearing his own words parroted back at him (and with perfect inflection) and he beams a huge grin at his boyfriend. "It's true!" he agrees, and if Julian looks a little disappointed at his joke misfiring, he deserves it. </p><p>Once they're finally ready to go, Brian, who is already in the boat, helps them down and shows Kurt how to sit on the side of the rib and hold on to the handles that are spaced out along it.</p><p>The water skis are resting in the middle of the rib and Kurt does his best to not stand on them. He's feeling nervous again. It feels a bit precarious, sitting on the edge of the boat like this and he can't help but think of how much more unsafe it's going to feel when Greg starts the motor and kicks up the speed.</p><p>"Relax babe," Sebastian says gently, sitting next to him - it's almost like he's read Kurt's mind. "It really is safe, but say the word and we go back and watch them from the yacht."</p><p>"But, don't you want to have a go?" Kurt says.</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian admits, shrugging, "but there's always next time." </p><p>Kurt lets out a shaky breath, trying to make up his mind. He's grateful for Sebastian's willingness to sacrifice his day out for him, but at the same time, he doesn't want to ruin it all.</p><p>"No one is going to force you to do this if you don't want to, Kurt," Brian adds and Kurt nods.</p><p>The whole thing rocks as Greg jumps down into it and sits down on the back of the rib next to the engine. Kurt grips the handles tight and closes his eyes. Sebastian's arm comes around his back. </p><p>"Everyone set?" Greg asks cheerfully.</p><p>"Kurt's a little nervous," Brian says and Greg looks at him with care in his eyes. </p><p>"You alright, kiddo?" </p><p>Kurt takes a deep breath, opens his eyes to look up at Greg and nods. "I've just never done something like this, and this ledge is rather...unstable." </p><p>Greg smiles at him. "You'd be surprised at how sturdy it is, but if you want me to stop at any point just shout, okay?" </p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Greg nods and pulls the string to turn the engine on. Kurt grips hold of two handles tightly and Greg pulls away from the yacht. He takes them about thirty feet out and then comes to a stop again. </p><p>"Right, who's going first?" he says and Julian jumps up right away. Greg rolls his eyes fondly. "Of course," he mutters indulgently, winking at Kurt.</p><p>Julian jumps into the water, submerging completely before surfacing and shaking his head like a dog so that droplets of water shake away from his long curls.</p><p>"Watch and learn, sweetheart," Julian says with a wink as Brian hands him the skis one by one so that he can fasten them to his feet. "I'll show you how it's done." </p><p>Joking aside, Kurt does watch Julian closely as he straps his feet into the skis and gets himself into position.</p><p>"The trick," Brian says, "Is to float on your back in a half sitting position." He hands Julian a piece of rope that is clipped to the top of a pole that sticks out the back of the rib and has a large handle at the end. </p><p>"And as the boat moves away from you, keep your arms locked into a right angle and bend your knees with your feet up. The momentum of the boat pulling you along will cause you to straighten up."</p><p>He feeds the rope so that it's trailing over the back of the rib rather than overt the side and waits for Julian to give an ‘ok' symbol. Greg then starts the engine again and slowly starts to pull away. </p><p>Kurt watches closely as Julian pulls himself up out of the water and takes note of the way he's holding himself. The tips of the skis are at an angle out of the water, his frame is solid and his chest and eyes are up. He gives a thumbs up and Brian does the same to Greg, who then slowly increases the speed.</p><p>"He makes it look so easy," Kurt says as Julian starts drifting from right to left.</p><p>"He's been doing it for years," Sebastian says. "He's what mom always called a ‘water baby'. Always loved swimming and diving, he's got a windsurf board back at the house and he was on the Dalton rowing team. They used to go on school trips to all sorts of places for contests against other schools."</p><p><em>That explains the shoulders</em>, Kurt thinks to himself, but then banishes the beautiful older Smythe brother from his mind and turns to look at Sebastian. "What about you?"</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "I like going out on the boat and I quite like doing this, but, honestly only when dad's here you know? I'd never voluntarily go out to sea on my own. Swimming to the buoy and back is about my limit for independent sea exploration. The sea is a cruel mistress, so the saying goes."</p><p>"I'm with Seb," Brian says. "I quite enjoy doing this on vacation, with the family; but I would never go out on my own."</p><p>"Well that just proves my theory that Julian is insane," Kurt states. This comment pulls a laugh from all three of his companions and they turn back to watch Julian.</p><p>Brian goes next and whilst it takes him a little longer to get his balance, once he's up, he stays up and is soon moving from side to side the way Julian had. Kurt is so caught up with watching, that he's forgotten to be scared of sitting on the side of the rib. </p><p>"You wanna go next?" Sebastian asks him when they stop again a little while later and Kurt's nerves instantly come back.</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>"You really don't have to."</p><p>"No... I mean, it looks like fun and I want to try it. I just...don't know what to do."</p><p>"We'll show you," Greg says gently. "Slide into the water, and Brian will help you get ready."</p><p>Kurt lets out a slow, calming breath and nods once. <em>A summer of firsts.</em> "Okay." He turns on the side of the rib and swings a leg over in the way that he's watched Brian and Julian do so far and then swings the other leg over before sinking into the water. </p><p>"Oh my god, it's freezing!!" he gasps.</p><p>Sebastian grins. "Told ya." </p><p>Kurt splashes him. </p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>"What?" Kurt asks innocently. "That was water displacement." </p><p>The laugh that escapes from Sebastian is loud and real and Kurt can't help but laugh along.</p><p>"Here. Kurt," Brian says, handing Kurt the skis. </p><p>"Maybe we should reattach the bar," Greg says, handing something to Brian. "If you've never done it before, it can be difficult to keep the ski's together."</p><p>Kurt watches with fascination as Brian screws a solid, metal bar across the two skis and then helps Kurt slide his feet into the grips.</p><p>"Okay," Brian says once Kurt is set up and holding the rope. "Keep your knees slightly bent, and sit backwards. Arms straight, shoulders back and keep your eyes forward. The boat will do most of the work for you, you just need to keep your position okay?" </p><p>Kurt licks his lips and nods. </p><p>"Okay, we'll do a few practice runs first so you can get the hang of it and I'll stay in the water with you."</p><p>"Okay." Kurt hardly feels the cold water now, because his blood is pumping through his body at top speed.</p><p>"If you want to speed up, put a thumb up, thumb down to slow down. If you're okay, make an ‘O' with your thumb and index finger, and if you want to stop, slice your neck. If you fall but you're okay, put both your hands up in the air in a circle." Kurt repeats the instructions in his head for a moment and then nods. </p><p>"Ready?"</p><p>"Yep."</p><p>Brian helps him get into position and then signals for Greg to start. The boat starts to move and as the rope tightens up, Kurt starts to move through the water. He does his best to keep his knees bent and his body back but the momentum from the boat pulls him forward and he gets dragged along on his belly.</p><p>"Stop!" He hears Sebastian shout at his dad and the engine cuts off. </p><p>"I'm okay," Kurt says as Brian swims up to him. "It's really strong."</p><p>"It is, but you'll get used to it. Wanna go again?"</p><p>"Yes." He gets himself in position and nods, putting his thumb up to the boat. The engine starts again and Greg pulls it forward slowly. </p><p>This time, Kurt tries to lock his knees and pulls back on the handle as it pulls him, not giving in to the power from the boat. To his delight, it works and he's pulled from the water to an almost standing position. It helps that the skis are locked together, and he is grateful that Greg had the mind to suggest it. </p><p>He keeps his position and the gentle pull through the water is exhilarating. Greg starts to turn the boat slowly and Kurt tries to follow the movement by putting weight to his right side as he has seen the others do. It works and he feels himself turning with the boat - until he puts on too much weight and crashes into the water.</p><p>He lets go of the rope and surfaces, spluttering a bit but feeling okay. He puts his arms up in the air to signal that he's fine and swims forward to grab hold of the handle again. Something has taken over his mind- <em>Kurt Hummel does not give up! </em>Now that he has dared to go into the water and try once, he wants to keep trying until he gets it right.</p><p>He tries again a few times over the next twenty minutes, and by the end, seems to have gotten the hang of it - to the point that he actually signals for Greg to speed up. He can't help the gleeful yell that bursts out as he's pulled along. This does actually feel a bit like flying.</p><p>By the time he climbs back into the rib, he has a massive grin on his face and is a little breathless.</p><p>"Oh my god, that was amazing!" he exclaims as he sits down next to Sebastian. The Smythes all smile at him. "You're a really good teacher," he adds to Brian as he climbs back up and joins them in the rib. "Thank you."</p><p>"No problem," he says, smiling. "You're a fast learner."</p><p>"Quicker than Seb," Julian teases. "It's been years and he still doesn't manage more than what you just did." Sebastian sticks his finger up at his brother. Kurt frowns.</p><p>"Having just done it myself, I can vouch for how difficult it is," Kurt says placatingly. </p><p>Sebastian gives him a grateful look and then slides into the water, reaching for the skis. When Sebastian is out of earshot, Kurt turns to Julian. </p><p>"Can't you give him a break?" he says a little short.</p><p>"Aww come on Kurt," Julian says playfully. "He knows I'm only messing."</p><p>"Yeah well, it seems to me that all you do is ‘mess around' and tease him. I didn't grow up with siblings so maybe I don't fully understand the dynamic that you have with each other, but I <em>did</em> grow up with people constantly making fun of me, and I can tell you it's not fun."</p><p>He thinks about all of the stories Sebastian has told him over the last week. Ninety percent of them have been about pranks or jokes that Julian has played on him over the years, and while Kurt knows that most of it was all in jest and Sebastian can see the funny side of it all now; underneath the surface, Kurt can tell the effect it has had on shaping Sebastian into the person he is today. </p><p>"I know he gives as good as he gets - <em>believe me</em>," he continues, "but you're his big brother. He looks up to you. Would it kill you to encourage him a little instead of putting him down in front of his boyfriend?"</p><p>Julian's face drops a little as he takes in the weight of Kurt's words. As he considers them, he looks out over the water at Sebastian securing his skis.</p><p>"You're right," he finally says, turning back and giving Kurt a short nod. "I'll try and do better." He offers Kurt a smile and Kurt returns it.</p><p>"Wow," Greg says, impressed. "Where the hell have you been all our lives, Kurt Hummel? I've been trying to get them to stop bickering for years!"</p><p>Kurt smirks. "If appealing to their conscience doesn't work, I would advise threatening to tell Olivia. That <em>always </em>works."</p><p>"<em>Hey</em>," Julian objects, but with one arched eyebrow from Kurt he backs down like a scalded schoolboy.</p><p>Greg chuckles. "I need to remember that! Thanks, Kurt!"</p><p>"Are you gonna move the boat or am I just supposed to float here all afternoon while you have a tea party up there?" Sebastian calls.</p><p>"Sorry Seb," Greg calls back and starts the engine.</p><p>Kurt turns to watch his boyfriend and the determined look on his face stabs Kurt in the chest a little. It's like he's desperate to prove his brother wrong and impress Kurt at the same time. Kurt crosses his fingers and holds his breath, hoping for Sebastian's sake that he manages it first time.</p><p>He does. As the rib starts to move, Sebastian pulls himself from the water gracefully and Kurt cheers in delight. Sebastian's eyes lock on him for a moment and he grins too. He signals to go faster and Greg slowly starts to increase the power. As Greg turns the rib through the water, Sebastian doesn't lose his balance once and Kurt feels a surge of pride for him. When Greg cuts the engine a while later and Sebastian falls back into the water he's grinning from ear to ear and Kurt can't help but grin too.</p><p>Sebastian climbs into the rib and Kurt rewards him with a kiss. "That was amazing, Bas!" </p><p>Sebastian grins and returns the kiss. He tastes salty and wet and victorious.</p><p>"It was, Seb," Julian agrees. "Well done." And Sebastian's grin widens.</p><p>Greg has a go next, Julian taking over steering the rib and they spend the next couple of hours taking it in turns. By the time they stop mid afternoon Kurt has graduated to skiing with two separate skis instead of having them fixed together and he's feeling pretty good about himself.</p><p>They sit out on the lower deck to eat lunch, lovingly packed by Charlotte, and Kurt devours his sandwiches in a few bites. <em>The salty air really does make you hungry,</em> he muses.</p><p>After lunch, Greg heads back up to the flying deck to start driving home and Julian and Brian decide to go and sit with him, leaving Kurt and Sebastian alone on the mats.</p><p>"Thank you for today," Kurt says quietly, turning on his side to lean on one arm so that he can look at Sebastian. "I've never had a day like this...a ‘boys day'. It's been great."</p><p>Sebastian turns to look at him too, frowning a little and peering into his eyes intently like he is trying to search for something there. Whether he finds it or not, his frown eventually softens and he offers Kurt a smile. "I'm glad you were here," he says. "It's been much more fun than it usually is."</p><p>Kurt can kind of imagine why- to Julian and Brian, he would always have been the little brother; the one who tags along. With Kurt, it's two against three.</p><p>He reaches a hand across to place over Sebastian's and Sebastian laces their fingers together, bringing their joint hands up to press a kiss to Kurt's knuckles.</p><p>"Hey Kurt!" Julian calls from up top. "Your friends are back." </p><p>Kurt drops Sebastian's hand to look at the water and cries out with joy at the sight of the dolphins swimming alongside them. He makes to stand up and move closer but Sebastian stops him.</p><p>"We can't," he says. "It's too dangerous to stand up here when the boat is moving this fast." </p><p>They're on the lowest section of the deck so Kurt shuffles forward until he's at the railing. He holds on to the metal poles and looks through the gap into the water below. The dolphins bleat happily as they play with the slip stream and Kurt can't help but stare at them. He feels Sebastian's weight against his back and an arm circles around his waist. It's a little awkward because of the life jackets, but Kurt leans back into the embrace.</p><p>It might not be a full on Titanic pose, but in every way that counts, it's a million times better.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Daughter of Scotland; [JWM] thank you for letting me vent to you and show you my nastiest side in private so I could turn the other cheek in public. I know it was exhausting, and I am sorry.</p><p>Nalasan: thank you for your kind words and your indignation on our behalf at the unfriendly messages we received once word got out we were writing this. Author solidarity matters!</p><p>Elledelajoie; thank you for your support in the face of negativity, and your Glee canon fact checking genius.</p><p>CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic nc-17 scene</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The family is sitting out on the terrace for breakfast when the boys arise the next morning. Kurt's arms and legs are a little stiff after their activities the day before, but not in a way that prevents him moving - and definitely not in a way that will stop him from beating all of the Smythe-Wilton boys in a swimming race later on.</p><p>When they got back from the harbour the day before, it was agreed over dinner that they would spend the day at the beach today. Kurt had tried to get Olivia on board too, not wanting to exclude her from their activities two days in a row, but she wanted to take her wedding book down and continue trying to come up with plans B, C and D that didn't involve cancelling the whole thing.</p><p>Kurt looks at her now, flicking through her book while she eats, barely taking note of what's going on around her. Kurt's heart aches for her; no one deserves this level of stress so close to their wedding, least of all Olivia.</p><p>The day before, on their way back to the house, Brian had told Kurt and Sebastian that another reason they wanted to get away from Ohio was the number of reporters and paparazzi that had been harassing them since the news broke about the fire.</p><p>It took Kurt completely by surprise, even though he later scolded himself that he should have known better. Of <em>course</em> a high-profile wedding such as the Smythe-Wilton's would be covered by the press; and of course they were now harassing the families for a comment on if the wedding was still going ahead or if they think the fire was arson? Kurt can just imagine the malicious glee with which such news would be received by the tabloid readers, who derive their enjoyment from the misfortune of the rich and famous, feeling validated in their beliefs that their lives aren't that great after all.</p><p>Kurt is really glad that they were able to get Olivia away from all of that and he just hopes that the press don't get wind of the fact that they are here. Somehow, with how lovely the people in the village were to him and Sebastian, he doubts any of them will call it in- they all rely on the Smythes' custom.</p><p>"Morning boys," Charlotte greets them as they sit down and they smile at her in greeting.</p><p>"What's an eight letter word for ‘thinker'?" Greg asks, his eyes on the Delaware County Daily Times open in front of him and a pen in his hand. "Something, something ‘A', and ends with an ‘R''."</p><p>"Reasoner?" Brian offers. "Can't think of anything else that would fit." He takes a sip of his coffee.</p><p>Greg nods and writes it down.</p><p>Kurt leans across the table to take a croissant and hands it to Sebastian before taking one for himself.</p><p>"Small landmass, five letters."</p><p>"Island? No...that's six," Sebastian says, tearing the corners of his croissant off.</p><p>"Islet?" Charlotte offers.</p><p>"Bingo!"</p><p>Kurt watches them while he eats and smiles a little at the way they interact with each other. He catches Julian watching him and blushes a little.</p><p>"Don't mind these nerds," he says to Kurt with a wink. "It was something dad started years ago to help us learn ‘the big words', and it's become a bit of a thing over breakfast."</p><p>"Vocabulary is important," Greg says matter-of-factly, not looking up from his paper.</p><p>Kurt smiles. "I like it."</p><p>"Skirt bottom, 3 letters?"</p><p>"Hem," Kurt says automatically and it earns him a cheer from the family. He grins happily, pleased to be included in another of their family traditions.</p><p>*****</p><p>After breakfast, they clear away the table and then head back to their room to get dressed for the day. Kurt is still borrowing Sebastian's clothes - they really are much nicer than the jumbled garments of Finn's and Pucks that he brought with him, and much more beach appropriate than the few items of his own that he's got. He steps out of the closet in a pair of swim shorts and sees Sebastian standing in the middle of the room holding a bottle of sunscreen and smirking at him.</p><p>"Want to do the honors?" he asks in a deep voice.</p><p>Kurt swallows. "Is that safe with your family around?" he asks, taking the bottle anyway. "You know Julian will burst in the moment he feels we are taking too long."</p><p>Sebastian laughs. "I'll be on my best behavior," he promises.</p><p>"I'm not sure how reassuring that is," Kurt teases and blows him a kiss.</p><p>As it turns out though, they do actually manage to cover each other in sunscreen without coming in their shorts, though the feeling of Sebastian's skin under his hands - and the subsequent feeling of Sebastian's hands on him - is enough to make Kurt feel the low burn of a fire in his belly. He tries to tell his body to save it for later. Since that day at the beach last week, they've been spending their nights openly exploring each other. They've not moved much beyond second base yet, but that promise of what's to come in the evenings is getting them both through the day - and making moments like this much easier to bear.</p><p>To his credit, Julian keeps his comments and his eyes to himself when they remerge (Kurt's decided against a t-shirt again today), and Kurt gives him an appreciative nod in acknowledgement. Of course, Julian ruins it a little a moment later by winking at Kurt and grinning suggestively but: baby steps.</p><p>They make their way down to the beach together. Greg is carrying a large cooler full of food and drinks to keep them going throughout the day. Sebastian, Julian and Brian make their way to the shed and Kurt helps the women lay down mats and towels. He shares a smile with Sebastian when they bring over the rainbow umbrella. He's built up a good layer of tan over the past week, but having the umbrella up is a welcome break from the sun if he needs it; he's still a lot paler than everyone around him - except maybe Brian.</p><p>"Oh good idea, Seb!" Charlotte says as he sticks the umbrella in the sand. "I remember when I bought that."</p><p>Sebastian grins at her. "Me too. We started using it earlier in the week...Kurt had a touch of sunburn on our first day here."</p><p>"It's okay, Bas," Kurt says chuckling a little. "You can tell your mom I turned into a lobster." He playfully clips his fingers together like pincers and turns to Charlotte. "I got so caught up in being here that I completely forgot sunscreen and well...it wasn't fun."</p><p>Charlotte winces. "Oh no, you poor darling. Did you know I keep Aloe Vera by the house?"</p><p>"Oh yes," Kurt says. "Well, that is- <em>I</em> didn't know, but Bas did, and he helped me put it on. It worked miracles. And the next day we were at the beach, he took out the umbrella for me." They both turn to look at the boy in question, who's blushing a little under the scrutiny.</p><p>"Only because I didn't want you bitching at me the whole week."</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes and Charlotte laughs.</p><p>"Sure, Seb, we believe you," she says, winking at Kurt. "You put sunscreen on today though, right?" she asks him firmly.</p><p>"Yes ma'am," Kurt confirms and she smiles.</p><p>"Can I interest anyone in a little...<em>race?</em>" Julian asks, kicking his flip flops off and dropping his sunglasses on to his towel.</p><p>"I <em>just</em> sat down, Jules," Sebastian says, stretching out on his towel next to Kurt.</p><p>"Aww, come on baby brother, are you scared I'll beat you?"</p><p>"No, I <em>know</em> you won't beat me. I just don't want to embarrass you in front of Kurt." Sebastian turns to look at Kurt. He lifts his sunglasses up to wink at him and Kurt grins.</p><p>"Go on, I want to see you win," Kurt encourages him.</p><p>"That wounds me, Kurt, I thought you'd be on my side," Julian says, clasping a hand over his heart. His lips curl up and his hand slowly slinks down his pecs and his tanned abs as he keeps his eyes on Kurt. There is a challenge in his eyes, as if to say <em>‘If I don't say anything, isn't not flirting, is it?'</em></p><p>Sebastian lets out a long-suffering sigh, takes his sunglasses off and demonstratively gives them to Kurt to look after. "Kiss for good luck?" he asks.</p><p>Kurt kisses his cheek and gives Julian the same kind of pointed look in return. No kisses, no luck.</p><p>Sebastian gets up and walks over to his brother, shoving him playfully.</p><p>"Oh, it's on now!" Julian shouts, dropping down into a starting pose.</p><p>Sebastian crouches down too and Kurt can't help but admire his ass from this angle, cocking his head and licking his lips at the sight. Olivia clears her throat to catch his eyes and she throws a knowing smirk at him, waggling her eyebrows. Kurt blushes and sits back on his towel to watch.</p><p>Sebastian and Julian countdown and then make a break for the ocean. Sand sprays everywhere from their kicking feet.</p><p>If Kurt thought Sebastian's antics with him in their race the other day were bad, they were <em>childsplay</em> in comparison to the stunts Julian and Sebastian are pulling on each other now. They splash and dunk and throw each other all over the place and Kurt is surprised neither of them drowns. At one point, Sebastian jumps on Julian's back as he's swimming and they <em>both</em> go under, staying under just a little too long for Kurt's liking, and he sits up, ready to jump to the rescue.</p><p>Then he notices however, that none of the other Smythes are particularly worried. On the contrary; Olivia has plugged in her headphones and is relaxing back on her towel, enjoying the sun, Charlotte is sorting through the cooler for a drink and Greg is reading his book. The only other person watching the two out in the water is Brian, though he doesn't look worried - more fondly annoyed at their antics. Kurt can tell he's paying close attention, though, just like he had when Kurt was learning to waterski the day before.</p><p>"They're always like this, huh?" Kurt asks him quietly.</p><p>"Oh, it's constant. <em>Everything </em>is a competition."</p><p>"It was the same when they were kids," Charlotte says. "Of course Sebastian was younger so we always tried to encourage Julian to ease up a bit...but Sebastian seemed to like being challenged and being counted as one of the big kids."</p><p><em>I'm not so sure he </em>always <em>liked it</em>, Kurt muses, but he doesn't want to ruin their nostalgia- as promised, the things Sebastian has told him will stay between the two of them.</p><p>"He can hold his own now, of course." Charlotte says.</p><p>"Not today, apparently," Brian adds, nodding to the water where Julian is already on his feet and wading through, a victorious look on his face. Sebastian is still a few meters behind, swimming towards the shallower water.</p><p>Kurt bites his lip. "Well, we can't have that." He looks at Brian, hoping he'll catch on - he does and he grins at Kurt. Together they jump up and run towards Julian, tackling him back into the water.</p><p>"Run, Bas!" Kurt calls as Julian fights against them.</p><p>"No!" Julian yells, kicking and fighting. "You fucking dicks, let me go!"</p><p>Kurt and Brian laugh as Sebastian makes it to the sand and runs towards the towels. They finally let Julian go and he falls back in defeat, though he's laughing. "You guys suck," he pants.</p><p>"Only when asked nicely," Kurt quips back with a grin and Julian leers at him. Kurt slaps his hand down on the water and splashes him in the face. Julian lets himself drop back into the water as if he is mortally wounded.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head and turns away from him. He walks back towards Sebastian, who is preening on the sand. "A kiss for my champion?" he asks and Sebastian reels him in, kissing his lips, salt and sand be damned. Water drips onto Kurt's face from his hair and he reaches up to push it back from his face, deepening the kiss.</p><p>Julian whistles. When they part, Kurt feels out of breath like he has just won a race as well.</p><p>They spend the whole day on the beach, dipping in and out of the water to cool off when the sun gets too hot; building sand castles and playing games and Kurt can see why Sebastian's best childhood memories come from being here.</p><p>As the sun finally starts to go down, Sebastian starts digging a shallow pit.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Kurt asks him bemused. "Another sandcastle?"</p><p>"It's for the barbeque," Sebastian says patiently. "We build the fire in a pit, so that it's easier to keep control of it, and it's easier to kill it if we need to."</p><p>"Oh," Kurt says as he watches Julian and Brian walk towards them, arms full of logs.</p><p>"Kurt, honey," Charlotte calls. "Could you help me with the cooler?" Kurt turns to look at her and sees that she's packed up the towels into a pile which she is now picking up. The cooler is sitting by her feet, ready to go back up to the house.</p><p>"Of course!" he says, jumping up right away.</p><p>"Sorry, it's just so heavy," she says apologetically. "Liv's already gone up or we could have taken it together."</p><p>"It's fine," Kurt brushes off. Now that they have drank most of the refreshments it's not that bad, but he's still happy to help.</p><p>"Babe, can you bring me a shirt or a hoodie down with you when you come back?" Sebastian calls and Kurt nods.</p><p>Together, he and Charlotte walk up to the house. "Are you having a good time?" Charlotte asks him as they start on the stairs up to the terrace.</p><p>"I am," Kurt says honestly. "This place is so beautiful; every day there's something different that catches my eye. I love it. Thank you for inviting me to stay with you."</p><p>"You're family, Kurt," Charlotte says, repeating the words she's told him many times now. "You make my son happier than I can ever remember seeing him. You'll always be welcome here."</p><p>Kurt blushes a little. "He makes me happy too." He pauses, then decides she needs all the honesty he can offer her. "At the start of the summer, I wasn't in a very good place emotionally, but bit by bit he's helped put me back together. I care about him a lot, and I understand the weight behind him feeling the same way - I promise I won't ever take that for granted."</p><p>They put their things down on the kitchen counter and Charlotte turns to face him. "Thank you," she says, cupping his cheek. "You should get something warm for yourself too - it can get pretty chilly down there when the sun goes down, even with the fire. I will load the cooler with stuff for dinner."</p><p>"I'll help, mom," Olivia says, emerging from her bedroom. She's changed into a pair of jeans and a large dark grey hoodie with ‘NYU' in large white letters across the chest. She's swapped her flip flops for a pair of dark gray Vans and has swept her long dark hair into a messy bun on the top of her head.</p><p>She smiles at Kurt as they pass each other, and he hurries down to his and Sebastian's room to grab some warm clothes. He takes a hoodie from his own suitcase (the one Sebastian lent him the morning after the pool party and he has conveniently not given back yet) and pulls it on. He also takes a dark green zip up sweatshirt from Sebastian's closet; thinking that it will bring out the color in his eyes.</p><p>As he passes Julian's room on the way back towards the kitchen, he hesitates for a moment. The door is half open and he can see an off-white cable knit sweater with large metal claps, lying over the end of the bed. Should he bring it out for Julian?</p><p>Making a decision, he steps into the room. It is smaller than the one he and Sebastian occupy and the bed is turned around the other way. Kurt takes a moment to think about the fact that this used to be Sebastian's room, before Sebastian made Julian give up the one with the private porch - He much prefers the room they are in now, but this one has a nice view as well.</p><p>He looks around. A large framed picture of Jim Morrison hangs on the wall over the bed. There's a docking station for his ipod by the side of the bed, next to a slightly older looking stereo and a large stack of cds. His curiosity piqued, Kurt walks up to look at his music, draping Julian and Sebastian's sweaters over his arm. Julian's collection is interestingly eclectic, and he recognizes more than a few of the artists from Sebastian's car playlist. Then, his eye falls on a stack of notebooks leaning to the side of the stereo. They look like journals or sketchbooks.</p><p><em>I can't believe I am about to do this again, </em>Kurt thinks to himself, but after already finding out about Micha, how much worse can it get?</p><p>He picks up one of the books and opens it on a random page. Lead pencil drawings adorn the pages. They are very good; studies of hands and feet, a sketch of a bottle and an empty glass that looks incredibly life-like. There's also more technical drawings that look like designs for artwork, construction plans for metal plates and discs. Kurt is glad he didn't fall right into a new secret again. He flips through the pages. They are so good. He wonders when these books were filled. In his teens? Before or after Cooper?</p><p>His answer comes a few pages later as he suddenly looks into Cooper's face- a perfect portrait that captures his brilliant smile and lively eyes. Kurt traces the page with a finger, marvelling at the likeness. He turns the page and smiles. There's more- a sketch of a boy lying on his front on a bed, reading a book. From the hair, he guesses it's Cooper again. A study of lips; just a whole page filled with smiles. It's making him feel warm inside. He can just image them sitting around in one of the Dalton dorm rooms, Cooper with a book or his homework, and Julian sketching away; his profile, his eyes, his hands. The love practically glows from the pages.</p><p>Eager for more, Kurt takes up another book. It falls open by itself, and Kurt can see why- several pages have been roughly ripped out, leaving torn edges. Kurt feels dread fill his stomach heavily. If the other book felt warm, this one is cold and dank, like something dug up from black earth. The pages that remain are scratched, drawings ruined, written words that look like lyrics or poetry crossed out angrily. There are unfinished drawings, mostly faces, that look like attempts at portraits but have the eyes blacked out or, in one case, the bottom half of the page ripped, making the mouth look like a grotesk scream.</p><p>When Kurt reaches a page where the pencil has faded and the paper is billowy and distorted like it was once wet and dried up again, he closes the book and puts it back. He has seen enough- he can fill in the rest with Sebastian's story, and he really shouldn't invade in Julian's privacy even more.</p><p>He hugs both sweaters to his chest, taking a moment to push his emotions down. He reminds himself that Julian and Cooper are getting a second chance now, and that the sad teenager who cried over this notebook is now a mature twenty-something with a cocky smile and amazing abs-</p><p>And he's currently standing in the doorway to his room, watching Kurt.</p><p>Kurt quickly lowers the sweaters and holds the white one out. "Thought I'd be nice and bring it out for you," he says lamely.</p><p>"Thanks sweetheart, good to know you're worried about me." Julian grins and he walks in, taking the sweater from Kurt and shrugging it on as he moves towards his stereo. He picks up his notebooks and stacks them back the way they were- Kurt has put the wrong one back on top.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Kurt says quickly. "I didn't mean to snoop, I just-"</p><p>"It's okay," Julian cuts him off. "It's not exactly a secret hiding place."</p><p>"I'm so sorry for what happened to you," Kurt blurts out, unable to stop himself. "I know I have only heard Sebastian's side but I do understand that you were in pain."</p><p>Julian smiles a little, shrugging it off. "Bygones, Kurt. I'm looking forward now." As if to prove his point, his phone buzzes in his pocket.</p><p>"I'll leave you to it," Kurt says, and steps around Julian to leave. With his phone pressed to his ear already, Julian briefly puts his hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeezes softly in a quiet <em>thank you,</em> before perking up and brightly greeting Cooper. "I'll be right out," he whispers, before turning back to his call.</p><p>Back out in the kitchen Liv and Charlotte have finished loading two coolers with food and beverages, ready to go back down to the sand. Kurt joins them and insists on carrying both coolers, piling the sweater on top and claiming he ‘just wants to fit in with the other boys'. It makes them laugh, and the physical exercise distracts his mind a little from the little glimpse into Julian's teenage life he has just been privy to.</p><p>The fire is lit by the time Kurt and the girls get back to the spot and he joins Sebastian on an old tartan blanket. "Nice hoodie," Sebastian comments as he takes his own from Kurt.</p><p>"Thanks!" Kurt says brightly. "Some guy lent it to me a while ago and I liked it so much I kept it."</p><p>Sebastian grins. "He must really like you if he gave you his favourite sweater." He zips his own up and slides an arm around Kurt, drawing him close.</p><p>"Mmm, he must do," Kurt hums.</p><p>"Do you think he'll ever get it back?"</p><p>Kurt pretends to ponder the question. "Maybe, if he swaps it for another one."</p><p>"I think that can be arranged."</p><p>Kurt laughs and nudges Sebastian with his shoulder.</p><p>"God, could you two be any cuter?" Olivia asks, smiling at them.</p><p>Sebastian blushes and Kurt just grins, kissing him on the cheek.</p><p>Then Julian walks up to the group, carrying an acoustic guitar. Kurt chuckles a little to himself. "And <em>of course</em>, he also plays the guitar," he says quietly to himself- but not quietly enough, because Brian gives him a knowing look.</p><p>"Of course," he confirms, with humor in his voice. "Only the full package with the Smythes. "The guitar is mostly to impress the girls though. He has the car for the boys, and the art for the non-binary."</p><p>Once again, Kurt is amused at how much Brian notices and sees- and how deeply rooted in this family he is, to accept all their quirks and eccentricities with a dry word or a shrug, like it has always been this way and that's okay. There's not a hint of jealousy or not-belonging. He's an outsider, but not in the way Kurt is. Maybe one day, Kurt muses, he will belong just as much.</p><p>They all settle down around the fire, and when it's warm enough, Charlotte hands out bags of marshmallows and long skewers. Then Julian starts strumming a few chords, and suddenly the Smythe siblings and Brian begin stuffing their cheeks with the squishy candy like there's no tomorrow.</p><p>"What's going on?" Kurt asks, looking more than a little revolted.</p><p>"It's-" Sebastian says with his mouth full, and snorts with laughter at Kurt's face, "schhhleeping bunnieshh!" He clasps a hand over his mouth.</p><p>Because Julian is already playing, Olivia helps him by pushing marshmallows into his mouth. Every time she stops, he nods at the bag for another. They are all giggling.</p><p>"It's a silly game they invented when they were kids," Charlotte explains. "They will fill up their cheeks and then try to sing this nursery song, ‘sleeping bunnies'. The one who holds out until the end without swallowing or spitting them out wins."</p><p>"Only no one ever holds out until the end," Greg adds. He nods at Kurt. "You might want to move away a little."</p><p>"We don't let them play it inside," Charlotte says, moving away a little from Olivia too.</p><p>Julian's strumming intensifies and then they all start singing- or slurring and smacking around the melting candy.</p><p>
  <em>"See the little bunnies sleeping till it's early noon-"</em>
</p><p>"Oh god," Kurt lets out, not sure if he should be horrified or amused. Just as Greg predicted, none of them can finish the song- Brian starts coughing halfway through and has to swallow his marshmallows or choke; Olivia absentmindedly chews and swallows them as she pats Brian's back, letting out a groan of annoyance as she realizes what she's done, and when they get to ‘hop hop hop', both Julian and Sebastian have some of the candy fall out of their mouths. They are all laughing, and there's no clear winner.</p><p>Charlotte hands around towels to wipe their faces and gives Kurt an apologetic look. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Kurt."</p><p>Now that it's over, Kurt can see the fun in it, though this is one Smythe tradition he will gladly not adopt. "That's fine," he says, shrugging it off. Then he turns to Julian.</p><p>"Do you know any songs that are not grossified nursery rhymes?" he challenges.</p><p>Julian grins starts playing the chords to <em>Sweet Home Alabama.</em> Immediately, Sebastian and Olivia start singing, with Brian and Greg joining in on the chorus. Kurt watches them for a bit, and then adds his voice as well. Julian transitions into <em>Cat's in the Cradle, </em>where Kurt bows out because he doesn't know all the lyrics, and then Greg does a very good version of <em>Angie.</em></p><p>Kurt clasps loudly when it's done, whistling through his teeth. "You are all so good!" he says, incredibly impressed. Sebastian had made it sound like their campfire evenings were a bit like karaoke night at Breadstix. He had not expected Julian to play so well, or for them all to join in singing like that. He looks at Sebastian. "Do you have a solo staple as well?" he asks curiously.</p><p>"Oh, not really," Sebastian hedges, pushing his feet into the sand, and Julian <em>tsks</em>.</p><p>"Go on, Kurt will love it," he encourages him, and Kurt shoots him a grateful look.</p><p>Sebastian sighs. "I need something to drink first," he announces, and his mother hands him a bottle of water. Kurt sits back, resting his chin in his hand, curious what is coming. Julian waits for Sebastian to give him a nod, and then slowly starts playing.</p><p>Kurt recognises the song right away; it's <em>Scarborough Fair</em>, by Simon and Garfunkel.</p><p><em>"Are you going to Scarborough fair?" </em>Sebastian sings, his voice high and clear,<em> "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme…Remember me to one who lives there...he once was a true love of mine."</em></p><p>Kurt smiles at the change of pronouns and looks at his boyfriend. He is very concentrated, and looks at the fire, avoiding everyone's eyes. When he reaches the chorus, Kurt sits up and genty backs him up, layering their voices. He considered singing the Canticle lyrics, but it might throw Sebastian off and he doesn't want to ruin his song. If they practise, maybe they can do that one day. Sebastian's voice sounds amazing, and they are even better together.</p><p>Around him, he can see the couples shift closer together to listen, Olivia moving to sit with Brian's arms wrapped around her, and Charlotte leaning her head on Greg's shoulder.</p><p>As the last notes ring out, everyone cheers. Kurt grins and claps loudly too, giving all credit Sebastian, who ducks his head and smiles bashfully. Kurt has seen him take a bow with the Warblers before, where he mostly looked pleased and relieved, maybe a little cocky- but it's different when you have the distance of the stage and fifteen boys backing you up. This small audience of his family, who are prone to teasing, and his new boyfriend; Kurt can imagine it can't have been easy to open up and sing such a demanding and vulnerable song.</p><p>He takes Sebastian's hand and squeezes it tightly, raising it to his lips to kiss the back of his hand.</p><p>"That was beautiful," he whispers.</p><p>Just as Kurt looks around wondering what's next and if he could suggest a song, Julian starts up a new set of opening chords. Again, Kurt recognizes it, and he sucks in a breath, holding it a little and glancing at Charlotte. To his surprise, it's Sebastian who starts.</p><p><em>"Here comes the sun,"</em> Sebastian sings next to Kurt, his voice soft and clear.</p><p><em>"Here comes the sun, and I say," </em>Julian takes over, Sebastian joining him for the last line, <em>"It's alright."</em></p><p><em>"Little darling," </em>they sing together.</p><p><em>"It's been a long cold, lonely winter,"</em> Greg sings, in a soft baritone.</p><p>
  <em>"Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here." </em>
</p><p>Olivia joins them for the next chorus and takes her mother's hand.</p><p><em>"Little darling,"</em> the Smythe siblings sing again.</p><p><em>"The smiles returning to their faces,"</em> Charlotte sings, high and clear, and turns her gaze to Kurt as she sings. <em>"It seems like years since it's been here." </em></p><p>Kurt feels her gratitude wash over him,and it is clear that she feels the words to her core. From their talk, Kurt knows how much she's missed seeing her children happy. He smiles back, feeling a little emotional.</p><p>The family all join in for the last bit and Kurt watches in fascination. He doesn't join in, even with the harmonizing, because his throat feels thick and his tongue heavy. He's happy to just listen instead. It is amazing how they all support each other, none of them tuning the others out or pushing to the front to be heard (something he is quite familiar with, having been subjected to such behaviour in Glee club constantly). They are a team, the way only years of time spent together, living, loving and singing, can bring about.</p><p>Kurt draws up his knees and wraps his arms around them, hugging himself. The soft glow of the fire casts a muted light over them. The beach around them is dark and there is a waxing moon shining high above, casting its glow over the sea that is breaking calmly over the sand. The family around him looks like something out of a photograph; one of the ones you see in travel magazines that show you a false representation of what your holiday <em>should</em> look like. Except, there is nothing false about this family. Each one of them is warm and genuine, they have real love and respect for each other and the more time he spends with them, the more he sees it...and the more he thinks about how much he missed out on growing up with just him and his dad.</p><p>Kurt loves his dad more than anything and the family they've now created with Carole and Finn is something very special to him...but it's not the same as growing up surrounded by people who love and accept you, and a part of him feels a little cheated.</p><p>When the song comes to an end, Kurt is still thinking about that; about family, and siblings, and parents. He misses his cue for a new song prompt- Sebastian will later tell him they asked him twice, and it looked like pulling him out of a trance- and apparently he looks so pensive it is worrying, because Charlotte gives him a careful once-over before asking:</p><p>"Kurt, is everything alright?"</p><p>"What? Oh! Sure," he replies semi-automatically, looking around the group who are now all looking at him. "I'm fine."</p><p>He can tell that most of them are buying it, but both Sebastian and Charlotte's eyes remain fixed on him.Sebastian has already learned that Kurt's ‘<em>fine'</em>s rarely mean just that- and Charlotte's mom-tuition seems to be telling her the same.</p><p>Determined to stick to his resolution for better communication, Kurt gives in.</p><p>"I...was just thinking about my mom," he says quietly. "She used to sing this with me.. She was a big Beatles fan and this was one of her favorites."</p><p>This effectively silences all conversation and suddenly, all of the Smythes are focused on him again. Kurt feels a little overwhelmed. He shakes his head. "Forget about it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring everybody down."</p><p>"It's alright, Kurt," Charlotte says softly. "Your family is a part of you, and it's understandable that you would miss her, seeing us like this. I am grateful for every single day we are granted to spend with our adult children- it's what everyone wishes for when they become parents."</p><p>Greg gives her an appreciative nod.</p><p>"How did she die?" Julian asks, and Sebastian starts, ready to clock him, but Kurt stops him with a hand on his arm.</p><p>"It's okay," he says. He doesn't usually talk about it, but that's because most people don't want to know. They skirt the topic, afraid to say the wrong thing or end up with an awkward silence. In this family, between Sebastian and his parents, his siblings and Brian, Kurt knows that if they ask, they do so because they care. He sits up and looks around the group. He reaches out in search for Sebastian's hand, and finds it immediately.</p><p>"It was a car accident," he says quietly, eyes moving to look at the fire. "I don't remember much, I was only eight at the time." He feels Sebastian squeeze his hand and uses the grip to ground himself. "It was really sudden; she dropped me off at school, went grocery shopping, hit an icy patch on the road on the way home and- that was it."</p><p>He feels movement around him but none of them say anything and he makes no attempt to look up. "I remember being in class, and the headmistress came in. That was really unusual, we all thought we were in trouble and were trying to think what it could have been...but she spoke to the teacher quietly and they both looked at me...and it was like everything shifted in that second. I didn't know what had happened, or what was going on. But it was like in that moment that I <em>knew</em>. Not what or who, but-"</p><p>Kurt glances at Sebastian. "I knew that my life, the way it had been up until then, had changed- without me knowing it. And it just struck me how strange that was- that I had been sitting in class, trying to focus on school, while somewhere out there, my mom was suddenly...gone. And everything would be different from then on, and I didn't even know it yet."</p><p>He shrugs. "It's hard to explain," he admits. "And my dad, he really tried. He moved heaven and earth to make my childhood as normal as possible, to keep our family rituals, give me everything I needed, when of course...how could he? But he never once pushed me away, or gave his own grief priority over mine. So we managed the best we could."</p><p>"I'm so sorry," Charlotte whispers, sounding close to tears. Greg has put his arm around her, and Olivia and Brian have moved closer together as well. Julian is staring stone-faced ahead of him, biting his lip.</p><p>"I'm okay," Kurt says, though his voice is soft with emotions. They are the good kind, filled with love for his dad and the memory of his mother. "It's just every now and then that it hits me- I am finally on my way of becoming the adult she wanted me to be, but she doesn't get to see it, you know? The big events. She wasn't there for our win at Nationals. She missed my graduation. And…" he pauses, offering Sebastian a shy smile before pushing on, "she never got to meet Sebastian, or any of you." He looks around at them, pressing his lips into a thin smile. "I just wish I could say, <em>hey mom, I'm alright.</em> You know?"</p><p>Tears are rolling down Charlotte's face, and she turns her face into Greg's shoulder, sobbing quietly.</p><p>"I think she knows," Olivia whispers, tears also shining in her eyes. "She knows."</p><p>"Yes," Brian agrees.</p><p>Sebastian is holding on to his hand for dear life, watching him closely. "I'm okay," Kurt reassures him again, and he means it this time. He never thought he'd have this- a place among people not directly related to him that feels safe enough for him to share something this close to him. The only thing slightly comparable to it was Glee club- but even that was a hit and miss most of the time.</p><p>"Do you have a picture of her?" Olivia asks, offering him a smile.</p><p>Kurt considers the question. "No, not on my phone," he replies. "Sorry."</p><p>"I've seen her," Sebastian states suddenly, his voice a little rough. "Kurt has a picture of her in his room in Ohio." He simply states that as a fact- for once not sounding as if it's a brag about having seen Kurt's bedroom. "She's beautiful. Like...Audrey Hepburn."</p><p>Kurt lets out half a laugh, a soft huff of breath in surprise, but then clamps his lips together again and nods, feeling too touched to speak. He can't believe Sebastian remembers seeing that picture, given how drunk he was at the time, but the more he thinks about it, the more Kurt wonders if he ever really was as drunk as he claimed to be then.</p><p>Charlotte sits up again, wiping her face and looking at Kurt. "I can totally see that," she says. "Though you look like your father too."</p><p>"Thank you. I just hope I haven't inherited his receding hairline," Kurt jokes, hoping to put everyone at ease a little again. It works. He looks at them. "Do you mind if I sing a song next?" he asks, and as they all nod eagerly, softly sets into an acapella version of <em>I Want to Hold Your Hand.</em></p><p>*****</p><p>They sing a few more songs after Kurt's story and then slowly, the individual couples retire for the night. Olivia and Brian are the first to go, followed closely behind by Greg and Charlotte. Kurt feels a little guilty and hopes that talking about his mom didn't make them uncomfortable.</p><p>"I really am sorry Kurt," Julian says quietly.</p><p>"Why?" Kurt asks with a frown.</p><p>"For playing that song. It's a happy memory for us, mom used to sing it when we were kids and couldn't sleep...I didn't mean to make you sad."</p><p>Kurt feels a hand on his back and leans into Sebastian's touch. "You didn't," he promises. "For the longest time after she'd died, hearing the Beatles hurt- but<em> now</em>," he continues, sensing Julian's interruption. "I hear those songs and think of the happy times; and seeing you all out here tonight singing and having fun as a family makes <em>me</em> happy too. It's easy to see you had a good childhood, and that you are a close-knit family, and I like that I get to now feel like I am a part of that."</p><p>Sebastian kisses the top of his head and whispers, "you are."</p><p>Julian nods at him, looking unusually moved. Kurt hopes Julian remembers that even if his teenage years were far from happy, his family wasn't the cause of that. They sit in silence then for a while, each lost in their own thoughts and watching the flames of the fire dance merrily. After a while, Julian gets up and heads back to the house too, leaving Kurt and Sebastian alone. Kurt turns in Sebastian's arms, wrapping himself around his chest and closing his eyes. Sebastian responds to him automatically, arms circling around his body and pulling him close.</p><p>"You sure you're okay?" he asks quietly.</p><p>Kurt tilts his head to press a kiss to Sebastian's neck and hums. "Yes," he says honestly, burrowing down again. The sweater he picked for Sebastian doesn't just match his eyes, it is very soft as well and feels like an inviting pillow to snuggle up against.</p><p>"I'm sorry if my family pushed you too much," Sebastian adds. "It comes from a place of caring but...mom sometimes can care <em>too</em> much."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "I like that she cares, that you all do; and I don't mind talking about my mom - I just don't do it very often because it tends to make people feel uncomfortable. Hardly anyone I have met since I started high school knows about it. Usually people assume she and my dad just got divorced - until it comes up, and then they get weird." He shrugs. "Sometimes I tell people she lives in Oregon. It's easier."</p><p>Sebastian hums in response and runs a hand down Kurt's back.</p><p>"Will you tell me a little bit about her?" he asks quietly. "What was she like?"</p><p>Kurt considers it, and a little bit of his earlier sadness returns. The things he remembers, the things he wants Sebastian to know about her; how he wishes Sebastian could just experience them firsthand. As it is, his memories will have to do.</p><p>"She was beautiful; to me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had thick, curly brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Her laugh was infectious and when she sang the world stopped to listen."</p><p>Sebastian smiles, the light of the fire flickering reflected in his eyes. Kurt smiles back.</p><p>"She was so patient with me as well, even if I was nothing like her friends' sons. She always made sure I knew that it was okay for me to be me. When I wanted to take ballet lessons, she drove me there. When I wanted a pair of sensible heels for my birthday, she bought them, no questions asked except what color I wanted. She'd let me play dress up for hours and help me pick out the right accessories to go with the outfits - and then she would take pictures and cheer when I put on a catwalk in our living room."</p><p>"She sounds amazing," Sebastian whispers, his voice thick with emotion.</p><p>"She was," Kurt whispers back.</p><p>"I wish I could have met her."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "She'd have liked you."</p><p>"What, the guy who teased you for months, tried to steal your boyfriend and then made you date him for money?" Sebastian's tone is flat and dry, and Kurt can tell he is really hating himself a little right now.</p><p><em>And that is how people are in the face of his loss</em>, Kurt muses, recognizing the signs. T<em>hey feel guilty for ‘not having it as bad' or ‘making it worse'.</em> And pity is the last thing Kurt wants from Sebastian.</p><p>Kurt sits up a bit to look him in the eyes.</p><p><em>"No,"</em> he says. "She would have liked the amazing boy who put me back together again when I was in a million pieces; who can make me laugh harder than I ever remember doing, who infuriates me just as much as he thrills me- but the <em>good </em>kind of infuriating. The boy who got under my skin and taught me it's okay to love again...<em>that</em> boy." Kurt pauses to make sure Sebastian is paying attention. "She would have loved him almost as much as I do."</p><p>He hears Sebastian's sharp intake of breath at his words and holds his own breath as the weight of them settle in. They've been bouncing around in his head all week, unsure of when to make themselves known outloud; now that they have, Kurt can't regret it. It's true; he loves Sebastian and it's time he hears it.</p><p>"You love me?" Sebastian whispers, and the look in his eyes is one of such fragile vulnerability that Kurt feels it right down to his core.</p><p>"I do," he confirms. "I love you, Sebastian."</p><p>Sebastian closes his eyes and a smile stretches across his face, so wide it looks like it hurts. When he opens his eyes, the smile is dancing in the fiery green irises and Kurt feels it warm his soul.</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too, Kurt," he says, no longer sounding hesitant or shy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I guess, as Elvis would say, we’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>in trouble deep</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Kurt jokes after a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh,” Sebastian replies, pulling up the side of his upper lip. They both chuckle and then they move together like two opposite sides of a magnet, their lips meeting in a perfectly synchronised kiss. Kurt breathes out through his nose, holding the contact as long as he can before he has to pull away to breathe in again. Sebastian doesn't let him go far, moving his hands up to cup Kurt's face he pulling him back in, his top lip slotting between Kurt's perfectly, as it was made to fit there.</span>
</p><p>He works Kurt's mouth open, his tongue flicking out to tease its way in and Kurt sighs, his own tongue coming up to stroke against Sebastian's. He pushes his tongue forward and into Sebastian's mouth, mapping it out in a pattern that is familiar now. He captures Sebastian's bottom lip between his teeth, drawing a moan from his throat.</p><p>Sebastian is tugging at him then - a move so reminiscent of the night of the pool party that Kurt can't help but smile. <em>So they can feel all of that and more without being intoxicated too. </em>He moves to straddle Sebastian's lap and they fall back against the blanket. From this angle, Kurt can feel every inch of Sebastian underneath him and he aligns his hips a little, rolling them down in one fluid motion that pulls another moan from the boy beneath him.</p><p>He feels hands run up his thighs and around to grab his ass and it's Kurt's turn to moan, rolling his hips back into the touch; relishing the way Sebastian's hands tighten on him before dragging his hips forward again.</p><p>Kurt gasps and scrapes his teeth and lips along Sebastian's jaw, licking over the marks with his tongue as he makes his way down to the crook of his neck. He presses a few kisses over the salty skin before finding a spot and sucking hard.</p><p>Sebastian moans again and his grip on Kurt's ass tightens even more, dragging his hips down to meet his own thrust for thrust. Kurt can already feel the low burn ignite in the pit of his stomach and speeds his hips up, chasing the sensation.</p><p>"Kurt," Sebastian whispers and Kurt moans in reply. "God you're so hot, you have no idea of the things you do to me, babe."</p><p>Kurt whimpers, wanting to shy away from the words and at the same time, hear more.</p><p>"The way you move," Sebastian continues, murmuring in his ear."You're so beautiful and perfect and sexy. God, I want you so much."</p><p>"Me too," Kurt whispers back, a little glad Sebastian has said it first. "So very much."</p><p>Sebastian stills Kurt's hips with his hands and moves them up to a safer location on his waist. Kurt sighs at the loss and tries to roll his hips again, but Sebastian's grip stops him, holding him firmly immobile - and fuck if that doesn't ignite a whole <em>new</em> kind of fire inside him. "What is it?" Kurt whispers, his voice a little raw. "What do you want?"</p><p>"I want <em>you,</em> Kurt. I want to make love to you," Sebastian says.</p><p>Kurt finally stops seeking friction and looks down at Sebastian. He's looking up at Kurt with pure love and want, and for a second Kurt forgets to breathe. <em>Make love</em> - not fuck, or do, or take, or ravish. Kurt can feel his heart rise in his throat. "Are you sure?" he whispers.</p><p>Sebastian looks up at him and strokes his hair back. "I'm sure."</p><p>Kurt leans down to kiss him; softly, slowly, deeply. He holds the contact for a moment before pulling back. "Okay," he says softly. "But not here."</p><p>"No," Sebastian agrees, swallowing hard.</p><p>Kurt stands up and offers Sebastian his hand. Sebastian takes it and Kurt pulls him to his feet. They pack up the last of the things left by the family and gently kick sand over the fire to put it out before walking back up to the house hand in hand. They put the things away and Sebastian locks up the doors. The house is dark and silent, save for a little light over the stove and a faint glow coming from their room. Kurt deduces that Charlotte must have switched on the bedside lights for them so that they could find their way, and he feels a surge of love for her. She's probably still awake, though the sound of the doors would have been enough to reassure her that they made it in.</p><p>Sebastian switches off the light in the kitchen and the room around them becomes dark, only faintly illuminated by the light from the moon shining through the windows, making the kitchen surfaces gleam. Kurt reaches a hand out to Sebastian through the darkness and Sebastian takes it immediately. They walk through the dark towards the light.</p><p>"You can use the main bathroom, I'll use the other one," Sebastian says, and Kurt wonders for a moment if maybe Sebastian needs a moment to himself.</p><p>"Okay," Kurt says. "Let me get you your toothbrush." He dashes into the bathroom and comes back to hand Sebastian his towel and his toiletries.</p><p>"Thanks," Sebastian says, looking at him for a moment as if he wants to memorize him before he goes. Then they part to their separate bathrooms.</p><p>Kurt works a little quicker than usual, though still making sure to be as thorough with his skin as he can. Once he's done his teeth, his eyes catch the bottle of lube and condoms that Julian had sent as a gift on their first day. Swallowing a little, Kurt reaches for both and exits the room, switching off the light behind him.</p><p>Sebastian is already in the room when Kurt walks in. He is stripped down to his boxers and sitting up against the headboard with his long legs stretched out in front of him, the sheets drawn up to his thighs. He looks up at Kurt as he shuts the door and offers him a smile.</p><p>"Hey," he says softly.</p><p>"Hi," Kurt replies. "Um...I brought-" he lifts up the contents of his hands and notices how Sebastian lets out a shaky breath. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I dunno why I suddenly feel nervous," Sebastian admits, laughing awkwardly.</p><p>"Me too," Kurt says honestly. He puts the supplies down and strips down to his underwear quickly before climbing into bed and slipping under the light sheet.</p><p>Sebastian turns to face him. "So how-" "What do you-" They both speak at the same time and then start laughing.</p><p>"This is so stupid," Sebastian says, shaking his head, still grinning widely. "It's not like this is either of our first times…"</p><p>"It's not," Kurt agrees. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't mean something."</p><p>Sebastian smiles at him, leaning forward to kiss him. "It means everything," he breathes against Kurt's lips.</p><p>Kurt closes his eyes and presses forward into the kiss, reaching blindly behind him to turn off the light.</p><p>Sebastian takes Kurt's head in his hands and kisses him deeply. Kurt opens his mouth under Sebastian's guidance, inviting him in again, and using his grip on Sebastian's waist to pull him closer. Without breaking contact, they slowly move down the bed until they're lying on their sides. One of Sebastian's hands is around the back of Kurt's neck and the other is smoothing down his spine, and Kurt loses himself in the feeling, his hands blindly exploring every inch of Sebastian that he can reach.</p><p>Kurt doesn't know how long they lie like this, stroking, touching, kissing - it could be five minutes or five hours - but he can tell the moment that the atmosphere shifts; Sebastian changes the angle of his lips when he presses in for a new kiss and their lips catch as he pulls back and it ignites the spark.</p><p>Their kisses become more urgent and Sebastian rolls them over so that he's on top of Kurt; one thigh slotting in between Kurt's. His mouth moves from Kurt's lips to his jaw, kissing and licking his way down to find the sweet spot on Kurt's neck and Kurt can't stop his hips from rolling up, or the breathy moan that escapes his lips.</p><p>He reaches blindly to his left for the lube on the side table and presses the bottle against Sebastian's chest. "Please," he whispers.</p><p>Sebastian pulls away from his neck to look down at him. His eyes bore down into Kurt's, searching for something. Whatever it is, he must have found it, because the next moment, he presses a soft kiss to Kurt's lips and takes the bottle from him.</p><p>He moves until he's kneeling between Kurt's legs, the top sheet falling down his shoulders and pooling at the foot of the bed. He slides his hands up Kurt's legs until they reach the waistband of his briefs and slowly pulls them off, discarding them over the side of the bed. Kurt is fully hard and he doesn't try to hide it- he is not ashamed of his reactions to his boyfriend's touch. Sebastian looks at him for a moment, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.</p><p>Then he is crawling back up the bed to kiss Kurt, one of his hand's resting by Kurt's head and the other guiding his leg up to wrap around Sebastian's waist.</p><p>He slides his hand up and down Kurt's side, teasing his fingers over the crack between Kurt's cheeks and ghosting over the puckered hole. Kurt lets out a little whimper of desire at the touch. It's been so long since anyone but he himself touched him there and he's only just realizing now how much he's missed it.</p><p>"Please Bas," he whispers into the kiss, his hands roving over Sebastian's back, up through his hair and over his neck. Sebastian pulls his hand away to find the lube again and squeezes some into his hand. The next thing Kurt feels is a wet finger teasing at his hole again, small circles around at first, warming up the muscle before finally breaching him.</p><p>Kurt sucks in a breath and bares down against Sebastian's finger. "Fuck," Sebastian whispers as he pushes his finger in further. "You feel so good."</p><p>Kurt nods absently, focusing on the feeling of having Sebastian inside of him, finally. Sebastian continues to work him open, just with one finger at first, pushing and pulling to relax the muscle and then moving on to two fingers, scissoring them a little to open him up more.</p><p>When he curls his fingers inside and brushes against Kurt's prostate, Kurt moans loudly and Sebastian kisses him quickly, sucking up the noise so as to not disturb the other inhabitants of the house.</p><p>When he adds another finger Kurt almost loses it and rolls his hips down onto Sebastian's hand urgently. It really has been a long time since he's had such stimulation and he might just come on Sebastian's fingers alone if they don't start now. "I'm ready," he whispers. "Please, I'm ready; make love to me, Bas."</p><p>Sebastian groans softly and rolls his hips forward against Kurt's hip, seeking friction. "Yes," he whispers, the same urgently evident in his voice. "Yes, <em>yes</em>."</p><p>He pulls away and sits back to take off his boxers, and reaches for a condom. His hands shake a little, and Kurt reaches up to take the silver packet from him. He rips it open and slowly rolls the condom down Sebastian's length. Sebastian moans quietly at the contact and thrusts up into Kurt's hand. He reaches for the lube and coats himself while Kurt lies back, watching him through lidded eyes. Then Sebastian returns to his arms, and Kurt wraps both legs around Sebastian's waist, lifting his hips so Sebastian can position him as he wants. He draws Sebastian into another kiss as he slowly pushes inside, the slide easy and perfect, opening him up and filling him inside.</p><p>Sebastian breaks the kiss to press their foreheads together, looking down into Kurt's eyes. "Okay?" he whispers. Kurt nods, and strokes his hands through the back of Sebasian's hair. Sebastian closes his eyes and sucks in a breath before rolling his hips.</p><p>They move like this together, no urgency behind it, just as they have all evening. It's not a quick drive to get off, it's a way for them to connect to each other. Another step in their journey towards each other. Kurt can feel Sebastian's heartbeat against his chest and his pulse inside of him; they're as close to each other as it's humanly possible for two people to be. No longer <em>Kurt and Sebastian;</em> forever <em>KurtandSebastian.</em></p><p>Sebastian slowly starts moving faster and Kurt tightens his legs around his waist, meeting him thrust for thrust, the low burn of his orgasm starting to ignite. Suddenly Sebastian lifts him up, keeping the contact as he sits back on his knees until Kurt is nestled in his lap. Kurt unwraps his legs from Sebastian and presses his knees into the mattress, using them to rock down. The new angle causes Sebastian to slide in even deeper and brush against Kurt's prostate with every rock downwards.</p><p>Kurt picks up his pace, his hands gripping Sebastian's shoulders as he rides him. Sebastian stares at him openly, watching all the small expressions on his face with his own mouth hanging open in an awed smile. He looks like he doesn't want to miss a thing, like he is taking it all in because this is the first time he is really paying attention to how his partner is feeling beyond if he's getting off.</p><p>Kurt smiles down on him, throwing him a kiss as he works his thighs, knowing it surely must look obscene- but Sebastian laughs, and then he is reeling him in for another kiss.</p><p>Sebastian's hand finds his dick and this part is familiar and yet<em> oh so</em> new, combined with these new sensations, and Kurt can feel himself getting really close. He canters his hips, needing Sebastian to get there too, and they come together, holding each other close and whispering words of love in between kisses.</p><p>As they come down from their high, they fall back gently into the pillows. For a moment, they just lie there, panting, but soon enough, their bodies have cooled enough to want to seek out each other's heat again, and Sebastian shifts closer, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt puts his arm around him and cards his fingers through Sebastian's hair.</p><p>"That was amazing," Kurt whispers.</p><p>Sebastian presses a kiss to the side of Kurt's face. "For me too," he whispers back. "It's never felt like this before."</p><p>Kurt smiles, emotion welling up inside him at the weight of Sebastian's words. "For me either," he says honestly.</p><p>"Thank you for waiting."</p><p>Sebastian's words take Kurt's breath away. He tightens his arm around Sebastian, feeling a surge of protectiveness for this boy, who has dared to open himself up and make himself vulnerable like this; admitting he was nervous, sharing his realization that it was different from what he has known. This is not a summer fling anymore- this really is <em>everything.</em></p><p>"Thank you for loving me," he says finally, and he feels Sebastian chuckle a little.</p><p>"You didn't give me much of a choice," Sebastian teases.</p><p>"That's true," Kurt admits airly.</p><p>They lie like this together until it becomes uncomfortable. Sebastian gets up slowly, disposing his condom in the trash can by the door on his way to the bathroom for a wash cloth. When he returns, he wipes down Kurt's stomach and between his legs, washing away the layers of sweat, cum and lube.</p><p>Then he climbs back under the covers and pulls Kurt into his arms. They kiss slowly, holding each other close until they fall asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Playlist [Campfire]<br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqBdtuvdHZs">“Sleeping Bunnies”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tU7ARGClUJY">“Sweet Home Alabama”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FSAkB59OoM">“Cat’s in the Cradle”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCyikSfr7DQ">“Angie”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ccgk8PXz64">“Scarborough Fair”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8iByvXVJj8">“Here Comes the Sun”</a><br/><a href="https://youtu.be/Z6U9HeZhiwA?t=25">“I Want to Hold Your Hand” (Kurt Hummel version)</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Supportive tumblr anons: thank you for your lovely messages, questions, prompts.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt is roused from sleep by someone gently stroking his hair and murmuring quietly in his ear. "Babe, wake up." Sebastian says softly. </p><p>Kurt snuffles and groans a little, rolling away from the warmth of his boyfriend's arms. He hears Sebastian chuckle through the haze of sleep and buries his head in his arms. </p><p>Sebastian shakes his shoulder and Kurt sighs. <em>He's not gonna budge, is he?</em></p><p>"Just let me sleep," he whines, blinking open an eye. The room is still dark. "What time is it?" he groans.</p><p>"A little before six." </p><p>Kurt groans. "Why are you doing this to me?" he complains. "Why?"</p><p>"Because it's our last chance. It has to be <em>now.</em>"</p><p>Kurt sighs, rubbing his face against the pillow. He'd completely forgotten that they were going home today. The past two weeks have been magical, he feels relaxed, refreshed; he is a completely different person- but that person is also currently still tired from yet <em>another </em>Smythe Family Tradition: staying up late on the last night.</p><p>"Okay," he grumbles. "Five more minutes."</p><p>Sebastian chuckles again and pulls the covers off him. Kurt shivers and growls. Sebastian laughs again.</p><p>"You're such an ass."</p><p>"Come on Kurt, otherwise we'll miss it." Kurt opens his eyes and through the darkness he watches as Sebastian pulls on his discarded jeans from the day before, a t-shirt and Kurt's favorite hoodie. <em>Hey that's mine</em>, he wants to say, even if it's not technically true.</p><p>"Miss what?" </p><p>He doesn't get a response. Sighing heavily and unfortunately, now fully awake, Kurt gives in and rolls out of bed, shivering a little.</p><p>"Get dressed." Sebastian instructs. </p><p>"God you're so bossy for such an early hour," Kurt complains, but reaches for his jeans and a t-shirt too. "Can I at least fix my hair?"</p><p>"Nope, no time, come on." Sebastian grabs his hand and pulls him from the room. Kurt stumbles a little, trying to keep up as Sebastian leads them through the house towards the terrace.</p><p>As they make their way down to the beach, Kurt looks over the water, blinking the last sleep out of his eyes. The faintest hint of pale blue is peaking over the horizon. They come to a stop in almost the exact same place that they'd stood in that first night and Sebastian plonks himself down on the ground and looks up at Kurt expectantly.</p><p>"Are you going to explain what we're doing now?" Kurt asks, though he has an inkling.</p><p>"I wanna watch the sunrise," Sebastian says. "Sit with me?"</p><p>Kurt's heart skips a beat. There are so many openings; from a tease about romantic clichées to practicality, asking him why they couldn't have watched this from their porch, but Kurt doesn't take any of them. Instead, he smiles and he sits down between Sebastian's legs, burrowing his back against his boyfriend's chest. Sebastian wraps his arms around him and Kurt leans back to nestle his head in the crook of his neck, letting out a contented sigh, his eyes slipping closed as Sebastian presses kisses along his hairline.</p><p>"Don't close your eyes," Sebastian whispers, though he no longer sounds bossy. When Kurt opens them again, Sebastian isn't looking at the sunrise at all- he is just looking at him.</p><p>They don't speak then; for once not bantering or even sharing as they have over the past two weeks; words aren't needed between them at the moment. Just being together is enough. Around them, the night starts fading away as the dawn sets in, the white sand warms to yellows; the sea to greens and blues, muted versions of the vibrant colours that Kurt knows they'll show later in the day. It's almost like a promise - they may be leaving today, but something tells him they will be back another time, and the sea will still be here waiting for them.</p><p>"Thank you," Kurtsays quietly, his eyes on the horizon to the west. "I know I've said it already, but: thank you for bringing me here. You were right, I needed it. <em>We</em> needed it."</p><p>He feels Sebastian's smile against his head and his arms tighten around Kurt. </p><p>"Thank <em>you </em>for coming out here with me...for giving me a chance." </p><p>Kurt feels emotion well up inside him and he turns to capture Sebastian's lips with his own, wanting to express everything he is feeling all at once. Sebastian responds just as deeply, one of his hands coming up to cup his cheek and the other tightening even more around Kurt.</p><p>A seagull overhead squawks, out to catch his breakfast at sea, and they break the kiss, both a little breathless. Sebastian smiles down at him and presses soft little kisses over his face while Kurt playfully pulls away, dodging him to place his own kisses on Sebastian's cheeks. The seagull squawks again and they chuckle, turning in the direction of the noise, and Kurt gasps as the sun majestically crowns over the horizon, a sliver of bright white light amidst a sky of deep pinks and orange. </p><p>"Told you it was worth getting up early," Sebastian whispers against his hair. For once, Kurt lets him have the last word.</p><p>*****</p><p>They stay down on the beach until the sun has risen fully in the sky and then make their way back up to the house hand in hand, where they find the family gathered around the table for an early breakfast. </p><p>Olivia sits hunched over her wedding planner, a piece of toast in her mouth as she reads through the itinerary for the next few days. She and Charlotte are flying up to Pennsylvania from a local airport this morning, where they already have meeting after meeting booked with various different venues. Kurt is going to be joining them, but as the only clothes he has with him are a jumble of hand-me downs, he wants to go home and pack accordingly. He also doesn't have any of his things for the actual wedding, so he and Sebastian are leaving shortly after breakfast to get back to Ohio. The night before, Julian asked if he could drive with them, claiming something about ‘making sure they don't get lost', but it's clear that he just wants to spend some more time with them, so they said yes. Having another driver taking turns means they will all be more relaxed when they arrive, so that alone is already a good reason.</p><p>Greg and Brian are dropping the women at the airport and then heading back North themselves later on. Greg has a meeting with a client tomorrow morning and Brian is trying to put in as many hours as he can at his dad's firm before he takes a month off for his honeymoon. Kurt can imagine that most of their conversation in the car will be about work, which is probably another reason why Julian wanted to catch a ride with them.</p><p>Kurt has a flight booked from Columbus International tomorrow afternoon, and he is looking forward to flying first class - even if it is only for an hour and a half. </p><p>"You boys all packed?" Charlotte asks as they sit down. </p><p>"Yes mom," Sebastian says rolling his eyes fondly. "Kurt made me do it last night."</p><p>"And aren't you glad I did? Seeing as how all we need to do this morning now is freshen up and pack the car?" Kurt says brightly. He reaches for a slice of toast and Brian hands him the jam. Sebastian grumbles a response and Kurt and Charlotte laugh. </p><p>"Julian, what about you?" Charlotte asks her eldest. </p><p>Julian, who up until this point has been staring blindly into his cup of coffee, jolts up. "What?" </p><p>Charlotte lets out a fond sigh of exasperation. "I said, have you finished packing yet? You don't want to set off too late if you want to get back to Ohio at a decent time."</p><p>"Hmm? Oh yeah, yeah I'm packed."</p><p>"I think he's broken," Kurt teases. "Julian, do you need us to replace your batteries? Maybe turn you off and on again?"</p><p>That wakes him up and he turns a leer in Kurt's direction. "You can turn me on anytime sweetheart, just say the word." Everyone groans and Kurt laughs.</p><p>"Julian is back in the room," he announces.</p><p>They eat in silence for a while, everyone still a little groggy at being awake at this hour after a whole summer of sleeping in. Kurt sees Greg slide his plate forward a bit and reach for his paper, and he sits up a bit. He knows what is coming, and this has become one of his favourite moments of the day. Crossword time. It's probably silly, but he enjoys this glimpse into everyday life with the Smythes - and being a small part of it. And he's learned so many new words this past week that he almost beat Sebastian the night before at a game of Scrabble! </p><p>"Trout basket, five letters, L at the end," Greg muses and looks up at Brian. "Your dad fishes, doesn't he?"</p><p>"Creel," Brian replies, "and he does. He used to try and get me to come with him but I couldn't sit still long enough."</p><p>Coming from Brian, that tells Kurt enough about the sport, because if any of them would have the concentration for it, he would have guessed it was Brian. "My dad didn't go fishing himself, but he loves Deadliest Catch," he says, and smiles as he looks forward to seeing his dad again in the evening.</p><p>"Oh, my dad too," Brian says. "He can talk about it for hours."</p><p>"Swiss capital, four letters? Starts with B...Baz...something," Greg mumbles.</p><p>"Bern," Julian says, swirling the dregs of his coffee. "I saw a few bands there at a festival once."</p><p>They continue throughout breakfast, and after a rather spectacular answer from Kurt ("ten letter word for ‘extremely loud' - <em>thunderous</em>), they help clear the table and then head back to their room for a final sweep of their belongings and to collect their cases.</p><p>As Kurt pockets his house keys for the first time in what feels like forever, he can't help but smile at the new addition to the chain, a small, sterling silver keyring in the shape of a sea turtle, the scales of its shell all different shades of aquamarine, shimmering in the light. Sebastian had bought it for him as a souvenir.</p><p>The day after their first time, Sebastian had decided he wanted to spend the day away from the house and his family, who had planned for another day at the beach. Instead, Sebastian had driven them a couple of hours up the coast to a sea turtle sanctuary and paid for a VIP tour.</p><p>They got to walk ‘behind the scenes' and meet some of the keepers, who talked to them in detail about their rehabilitation program and working with the local people to keep North Carolina's beaches a safe place for turtles to nest their eggs. They also got to see the turtles up close.</p><p>Kurt's favourite turtle by far had been a huge, old green sea turtle called Nala. She'd been brought in by a local fisherman after she'd been caught up in his net. The carer told Kurt and Sebastian that she was blind and so it was for her own safety that she remained at the sanctuary. She was the most beautiful creature Kurt had ever seen and she had even eaten sea grass out of his hand.</p><p>"You okay?" Sebastian asks as he shoulders his bag and grabs hold of one of Kurt's suitcases.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt says honestly. "I'm just gonna miss this place." He runs his fingers over the small silver turtle. "It kind of feels like we've been here for years."</p><p>Sebastian smiles. "We'll come back next summer," he promises.</p><p>Kurt sighs happily. If this thing between them does last (at the moment if feels a lot like they have pawned ‘forever', but Kurt has felt that way before, and he can't help but force himself to stay realistic this time around), then yes, he will definitely be joining this family vacation next summer. He grins and zips up his last case.</p><p>Fifteen minutes later Sebastian's trunk is fully packed and Kurt secretly thinks that it's a good thing both Smythe boys have stocked closets here, otherwise all their stuff might not have fit in the trunk with Kurt's. Maybe next time, he can send some stuff ahead as well- or leave some things here- and here he goes again, veering away from realism. It doesn't help that all of the Smythes are treating this departure like a temporary leave, already planning their next stay. Charlotte made a checklist already; get Kurt a wetsuit of his own, maybe replace the mattresses ‘now that Sebastian doesn't get to alternate sides anymore', and there's talk of getting a bigger fridge. He's in their plans- and that is making him want to make plans, too.</p><p>Finally, it is time for a last round of goodbyes.</p><p>Kurt can't help but sweep Olivia into a big hug and she clings to him for a moment. "We'll fix it Livvie, I promise," he whispers into her ear. She nods and bites her lip.</p><p>"I wish I could be as optimistic as you Kurt," she says weakly. "But it just feels hopeless."</p><p>Truth be told, Kurt isn't entirely optimistic. He knows that finding the right venue with such little time left is going to be almost impossible, but he is Kurt Hummel, dammit, and he has the Smythe family fortune at his disposal. He refuses to believe that this combination won't work.</p><p>"It'll be fine Liv," Charlotte assures her as they part, before pulling Kurt into a tight hug. "You boys be safe okay? We'll see you tomorrow." </p><p>Kurt smiles and returns the hug. "We will be."</p><p>"Do <em>not</em> let them race," she whispers. "I want all my boys back in one piece, you hear me?" </p><p>Kurt grins, "Yes ma'am." </p><p>He pulls away, shakes hands with Brian and Greg and then climbs into the passenger seat of Sebastian's car. The sun is blazing down on them and Sebastian has put the top down. He reaches into the glove compartment and takes out a pair of brand new designer sunglasses, sliding them on.</p><p>The girls had taken him shopping a few days before and they had convinced Sebastian to come along too (a novelty apparently, because Sebastian <em>hates</em> shopping, but maybe not so much when Kurt is coming?). On the nicer side of the promenade, away from the tourist shops, Kurt had been drawn towards a sunglasses outlet, where a gorgeous pair of Prada sunglasses had caught his eye. </p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>"Try them on," Sebastian said, standing behind him and popping his head over his shoulder. "They'd look good on you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't be stupid, I can't afford them. I just like looking." Kurt felt rather than heard Sebastian sigh behind him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Just try them on Kurt." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kurt relented and tried them on, just to stop Sebastian from pushing,and unfortunately Sebastian was right: they did look great on him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh good choice," the sales clerk said, walking up to them. "They look really good on you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kurt preened a little at the compliment, then took them off. The sales clerk probably just wanted her commission. "Thanks, but we're just looking."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We'll take them," Sebastian said affirmatively. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bas," Kurt started to protest. "I have a pair of sunglasses already."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You do, and they're okay. But these are nicer, they look good on you and you like them. Can't a guy buy his boyfriend a gift?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There's really no counter-argument for that, and five minutes later he walked out of the store carrying a small paper bag printed with the company's logo on and containing his own pair of designer sunglasses, case and cleaning kit included.</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>"All set?" Sebastian asks, climbing into the driver's seat. A jolt of the car indicates that Julian has jumped into the back and when Kurt looks at him through the side mirror he can see he's stretched himself along the back seat.</p><p>"Put your seatbelt on, Jules," Kurt says, and makes a point of covering Sebastian's hand over the ignition until Julian lets out a melodramatic sigh, sits up, and buckles up.</p><p>"Okay," Kurt says, letting go of Sebastian's keys to put his hand on Sebastian's knee. "<em>Now</em> we're all set. Let's go."</p><p>"Is he gonna be like this all the way?" Julian complains.</p><p>"Yep," Sebastian confirms, not even trying to hide his smirk. For that- and maybe also because the drive is long and boring- Kurt will seek revenge a little later.</p><p>*****</p><p>The opportunity arises when Kurt is at the steering wheel. They have taken turns and switched a few times already, and it is Kurt's second shift. Julian is dozing in the back, and Sebastian is flicking through his playlist. They've had Julian's tunes on for a while, and while his music is quite decent (Kurt didn't recognize most of the bands and indulged in Julian's little brags about all of the places in Europe where he heard them first), Sebastian has taken the first opportunity that his brother can't oppose to switch the cables and connect his own phone.</p><p>They are on a straight two-lane road with nothing but miles and miles of empty concrete up ahead. From his rearview mirror, however, Kurt sees a motorcyclist come up behind him. Kurt checks his pace- he's well within the speed limit. Out of simple interest (there's really not much to look at on this road) he keeps his eyes glued to the mirror as the driver comes into focus. It's a man, dressed completely in black leather, and he's wearing an open face helmet. Kurt wonders what it must be like to feel the wind in your face like that on the road- he gets a little of it with the top down, but there's still the windshield between him and the way ahead. The leather must be hot in this weather; sweltering, sweaty. He remembers the time he tried to wear a leather onesie in school; he was drenched by second period and it wasn't even summer then. Of course, it did make his ass look great and it was completely on point with MJ week, so it had been worth it.</p><p>So caught up in his musings, Kurt lets up on the gas and slows down a little. The motorcyclist revvs his engine and starts to overtake, looking into the car the moment they are side by side, taking in the three young boys in the expensive ride. He smirks and revvs his engine again, advancing ahead of them on the left and getting ready to switch lanes. </p><p>Sebastian looks up from his phone. "What's this doche about?" he mumbles, and then is pressed back into his seat as Kurt leans down on the gas, accelerating fast. The car responds like a dream and propels them forward, zooming away from the motorcyclist.</p><p>"What the fuck, Kurt?" Sebastian lets out, and from the back, Kurt can hear Julian sit up as well. Kurt laughs. It's exhilarating- and now he can really feel the wind on his face. They are so far over the speed limit he doesn't even dare check- and the best of it is: the motorcycle is speeding up as well. Kurt takes his foot off the gas a little, letting him catch up. As they are side by side again, the man shows him his gloved palm as if to silently ask what Sebastian has just asked as well. Kurt blows him a kiss, and presses down on the gas again.</p><p>"Kurt, babe, what are you doing?" Julian asks loudly, holding on to the head rests. </p><p>"Zero to sixty in under sixty seconds!" Kurt shouts over the wind compressing his chest and tearing at his hair. "WOOOO!"</p><p>The motorcyclist is trying to catch up, but Sebastian's beautiful little sports car is winning the race by far. </p><p>"Aren't you glad you buckled up?" Kurt shouts, glancing over his shoulder at Julian. He looks like he might be sick any second. </p><p>"You're going to kill us, driving like this!" he lets out. "Go slower!"</p><p>"Go faster," Sebastian eggs him on. His eyes are wide, his hair windswept, and red blotches of excitement are high on his cheeks. </p><p>Kurt pushes the pedal to the ground and the Mustang lurches forward. He lets out a scream of joy and Sebatian puts his arms up in the air as if he's on a roller coaster.</p><p>"This is crazy and I love it!!" Sebastian yells.</p><p>"Your mom only said I couldn't let <em>you guys</em> race!" Kurt shouts to no one in particular. "She said nothing about <em>me</em>!"</p><p>"Kurt, for the love of God, please slow down!" Julian begs, "I am too pretty to die this young!"</p><p>Kurt laughs and takes his foot off the gas, letting it roll out naturally until they reach the speed limit again. His heart is thumping wildly in his throat and his face and hands feel ice cold from the wind. It feels amazing. </p><p>"Are you fit enough to drive?" he asks, looking over at Julian.</p><p>"What?" he asks weakly.</p><p>"Can you take the next shift, or do I need to pull over and let you barf first?"</p><p>"I...I can drive," Julian says. "Why?"</p><p>"Because I just had a car-gasm and I need to relax for a moment," Kurt says matter-of-factly. </p><p>"A...what?" Sebastian asks, his eyes drawn to Kurt's crotch. "Did you just…?"</p><p>"No, not like that," Kurt says, rolling his eyes. "I just meant I want to relish the thrill a little longer, and despite what I just did, I do actually want to get us all home in one piece, and it was Julian's turn anyway. If he takes his shift, I can lie down for a bit and relax."</p><p>"Only if you buckle up, sweetheart," Julian teases a little, but he still looks visibly shaken. </p><p>Kurt pulls over and they switch seats. They haven't started up again yet as the motorcyclist zooms by, honking his horn. "Don't you dare," Kurt warns Julian. "I promised your mom."</p><p>"I wouldn't have, anyway," Julian admits. "I have already tasted my breakfast twice."</p><p>*****</p><p>With several more steps and shifts, they are finally on the home stretch.</p><p>"Hey, what are you doing?" Julian asks as Sebastian turns off the highway at Westerville. "Aren't we going to drop Kurt off first?"</p><p>"No, I am dropping <em>you</em> off first," Sebastian corrects him, then offers Kurt a smile from behind the wheel. "I am hoping that once we're rid of you, Kurt might ask me to stay the night at his place."</p><p>Kurt grins. He has already asked his dad and Carole if it's okay if Sebastian stays over, but Julian doesn't have to know that.</p><p>Julian harrumphs, but doesn't argue. Instead, he takes out his phone, and Kurt imagines that means he's already planning to catch up with Cooper. He's definitely not going to be sitting around at home by himself until the rest of his family arrives.</p><p>His theory is proved right twenty minutes later- when they turn up on the driveway, another car is already parked there; a classic 95 Pontiac Firebird in gleaming black. Cooper Anderson is leaning casually against the hood, wearing aviator sunglasses and looking like a moviestar.</p><p>"Coming here is like going to a car show every time," Kurt whispers to himself, already dying to tell his dad about this.</p><p>"Coop's had that thing forever," Julian says fondly. "It has a good back seat."</p><p>"Too much information," Sebastian mutters, and rolls up to the drive to stop by Cooper's car. Before they can so much as unbuckle, Julian has already jumped out and crosses the distance between him and Cooper with long, determined strides. They briefly pause as Julian reaches him, exchanging looks and nervous smiles, and then it's Cooper who reaches out to cup Julian's face, gently leading him forward and kissing his lips. </p><p>"I'll get his bag from the trunk," Sebastian says to himself, avoiding looking in their direction. It's too late for Kurt. He cannot tear his eyes away. It's not every day he gets to see two such handsome people kiss. Sebastian returns and gets back behind the wheel. </p><p>"Are you ready to go?" he asks, and Kurt blinks, and guilty turns to face his boyfriend. He knows his face is probably a little flushed. </p><p>"I am," he confirms. "Let's go before they show us their backseat action as well."</p><p>Sebastian snorts. </p><p>"Oh, can I drive the last bit?" Kurt asks as an afterthought, now that he can focus again. "My dad will be so jealous."</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "Sure. But no speeding, please?" </p><p>Kurt chuckles. "I would never do that in city limits. Or anywhere that's dangerous- it was an open road and-"</p><p>"I know that, and it was incredibly sexy," Sebastian admits. "I am just messing with you." He hands Kurts the keys, gets out and rounds the car. Julian and Cooper are still kissing.</p><p>Kurt switches seats with him, caressing the steering wheel with reverence. He waits until Sebastian has fastened his seatbelt and then starts the engine. </p><p>Sebastian leans toward him, and for a moment Kurt thinks he is about to be kissed, only for Sebastian to lean loudly on the horn. "Byyyyeeee," he shouts happily as the two lovebirds jump up and break away from each other to look at them. </p><p>Kurt waves at Cooper a little awkwardly. "See you next week!" he lets out, and then they are off in Sebastian's glorious car, the engine purring, almost as if it's content that Kurt is behind the wheel again. It's official: he will never tire of driving this car. </p><p>*****</p><p>
His dad is already by the door when they come up the street. Kurt had sent him a text when they reached Westerville, and clearly he couldn't wait to see him. Happiness swells inside of Kurt- he feels the same way. </p><p>He decides to show off a little, and backs into his dad's driveway with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on Sebastian's headrest. "Don't get up just yet," he whispers, and before Sebastian can ask why, rounds the car to open Sebastian's door.</p><p>"Full macho package, Hummel?" Sebastian mumbles fondly, and Kurt grins. </p><p>"Found your handbook," he replies, "but you're welcome to carry your own bag."</p><p>Then his dad is walking up to them, smiling broadly. "Hey buddy," he says, opening his arms. Kurt steps away from Sebastian to hurry into his dad's embrace.</p><p>"I missed you, kiddo," Burt adds. "Did you have a good time?"</p><p>"We did, it was great," Kurt says, looking over at Sebastian, who is trying to carry all of the bags again. "Let's help him before he hurts himself," he says, grinning a little, and they both go over to take some things out of Sebastian's hands. </p><p>"So, you got to drive the car, huh?" Burt says conversationally as they carry their things inside. </p><p>"Oh yeah, it's amazing," Kurt agrees. He's never telling his dad how fast they actually went so his enthusiasm has to be contained in a few simple platitudes. "That car alone is already worth dating a Smythe." He winks at Sebastian, who looks like he would have flipped him off if he wasn't in the presence of Kurt's dad- and carrying two suitcases.</p><p>He looks around when he gets in- it's only been two weeks, and yet it feels so different. <em>It's not the house that's changed</em>, he muses, <em>it's me.</em> </p><p>Burt misinterprets his pause and offers: "Carole's at work, and Finn's at Rachel's for the night. He heard that Sebastian was staying over and felt like he should also be allowed a sleep-over."</p><p>Kurt shakes himself out of his reverie. "That's okay. We'll have time to catch up with you." He glances at his suitcase. "I should probably unpack and air some of my things out first, though. Do you mind if we go up to my room?"</p><p>Burt shrugs. "No problem, go ahead. Carole put fresh bedding up for you, but the rest is as you left it." </p><p>Kurt smiles. "Thanks, dad." He picks up one of the cases and his laptop bag and carries them up. Behind him, Sebastian follows with his other case and a small bag he has packed with some overnight things. His dad will be taking the rest of his stuff to the house. Again, <em>so unfair-</em> it always looks like Kurt is an overpacker (and maybe he is) but Sebastian is a pack-cheater. </p><p>He stops at the top of the stairs to take a little breather, and Sebastian overtakes him, walking quite confidently towards his room, the first on the left. <em>He'd better not claim a side of the bed before I am even in the room, </em>Kurt thinks, but then he is following Sebastian inside, and all Sebastian has done is put down his case. </p><p>"Well, here we are," Kurt says, "home sweet home." But saying that sounds a little weird, even to his own ears- home has been the beach house, too. Home, apparently, is where he is with Sebastian. </p><p>Before they left, Kurt's room had given him mixed feelings; there were so many memories tied to it, and a lot of those had to do with Blaine. He could easily understand why Sebastian had wanted to go to North Carolina, neutral ground, to escape the ‘Blaine of it all' while they tried to figure themselves and each other out. But now that Kurt's back, a changed man, he views his room differently too.</p><p>Where before, he saw only the gaps on his shelves where he used to have pictures, gifts and nicknacks from Blaine - a snapshot of their prom, a hand lettered card, a glass jar of candy hearts- and it had felt like they were actual gaps torn into his heart - Kurt now sees opportunity to display the things that have helped him heal. He opens his suitcase and starts filling the empty spaces with beach treasure; a large shell he found on their way into town, a small lighthouse figurine, a postcard from the bay, and last but not least, the scented candle Sebastian had bought him. He even has a picture of them to put up; there had been a caricature artist set up on the street the day they went shopping and they'd stopped to have their picture done. It still needs a nice frame so for now, he just props it up against some books.</p><p>Suddenly he starts. "Did you remember to bring Rockymodo?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian grins and reaches into his pockets, pulling out the small, misshapen pebble from the beach. "Of course. But he's mine. You've got your shell."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "Fair enough." </p><p>He begins taking out his laundry, sorting colors on the bed and setting things aside that he will need to pack for his next trip. When he opens his second case, he realizes he has packed Sebastian's hoodie from the beach with his own things. Sebastian had taken it off after they came up from the beach and had left it on their bed, and he must have taken it when he was gathering up the last things of their stay after breakfast. </p><p>"Here," he says, offering it back to Sebastian. "This is yours."</p><p>"Oh yeah," Sebastian says, and takes it, rubbing the fabric between his fingers in thought. "Do you want to keep it-" he starts, at the same time that Kurt says "It's really comfortable."</p><p>They look at each other for a moment, then Sebastian holds it back out. </p><p>"But it's yours," Kurt lets out.</p><p>"It might be cold in Pennsylvania," Sebastian mumbles. "But if you'd rather pack a clean one, that's fine. It's not like we're the brotherhood of the travelling hoodie-"</p><p>"I'll take it," Kurt cuts him off. "Thank you."</p><p>"Sure thing." Sebastian shrugs, clearly pretending he doesn't care either way, but Kurt can tell he is pleased. When they go down for dinner, Sebastian has an extra bounce in his step.</p><p>*****</p><p>"That was great Mr Hummel, thank you," Sebastian says, wiping his mouth on a napkin.</p><p>"You can thank my wife for the honors," Burt replies. "Usually I fend for myself when she is on evening shifts, but she insisted on making something for you, saying I couldn't offer you a microwave meal as a welcome home dinner. And I've told you, it's <em>Burt</em>."</p><p>Sebastian blushes and glances at Kurt who feels a rush of warmth spread through him. Kurt smiles at his boyfriend and reaches a hand across the table.</p><p>"Oh, Mr H- <em>Burt</em>," Sebastian says, changing tact mid sentence. "My mom and sister asked me to tell you to expect a wedding invitation in the post in the next few days."</p><p>Burt raises his eyebrows. "Isn't the wedding in less than two weeks?" He looks at his son and rubs the back of his neck, quickly adding, "I mean, that's really nice of them and we'd love to come, but it'd be trouble to fit us in at the last moment, wouldn't it? When Carole and I decided to get married, Kurt really got onto our case about invitations and seating arrangements and how these things take months to plan, and that we should have sent out...what were they called? Date the…"</p><p>"Save the date cards," Kurt supplies. "And Liv and Brian did all that dad, long before Sebastian and I started dating-" <em>Even before we started dating according to Sebastian</em>, he adds in his mind, "but the venue they booked burned down and so they need to start over with <em>everything</em>."</p><p>"It literally burned down, or is that an expression I am too old to get?"</p><p>"Literally," Kurt confirms.</p><p>"Oh god, I'm so sorry," Burt offers. "Was anyone hurt?"</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "It happened at night when no one was there."</p><p>"Wow...And the whole place is gone?" Burt asks. As Kurt confirms, he runs his hand over his head pensively and lets out a long breath. "Even I know that's a really big deal. Is your sister okay?" </p><p>Sebastian nods. "She's fine. Fretting <em>a lot</em>, but Kurt and my mom have been helping her come up with a new plan. It's a challenge; with over three hundred people set to attend, there's a lot of work to do." </p><p>"It's logistics too," Kurt adds, "We need to find a place with enough guest parking spots, figure out if their catering will agree to come there, etc- it's a lot to manage in such a short space of time."</p><p>"I can imagine…" Burt says trailing off and shaking his head, mulling it over. Then he brightens. "I guess they're lucky they've got <em>you</em>, right? That's right up your alley!"</p><p>Kurt beams. "It is. We'll make it work," he says confidently. "It's going to be a fairytale wedding either way. It's a challenge; with over three hundred people set to attend, there's a lot of work to do, but that's why I have to fly up to Pennsylvania sooner than we planned."</p><p>"Just you?" Burt asks, looking from Kurt to Sebastian. "You're not both going?</p><p>"We talked about it and agreed that I would be more of a hindrance than a help," Sebastian admits shyly. "It's...not really my thing."</p><p>"And Julian wants your help with his project, right?" Kurt adds helpfully, wanting to reassure his dad that he is okay with Sebastian staying in Ohio while he meets up with Olivia.</p><p>"Yes, he does," Sebastian agrees. "But I'll join Kurt as soon as I can."</p><p>Burt nods pensively. "All this flying back and forth...will you be staying in a hotel all this time? Who is paying for all of this?"</p><p>"Oh, my parents are," Sebastian assures him quickly. "They are very grateful for Kurt's help. Liv fired her wedding planner months ago, and Kurt just swooped in like a superhero, taking care of everything. They have been at it all week, planning and contacting places...Money is not an issue, I promise. Kurt will stay at the best place Pennsylvania has to offer."</p><p>Burt hums, and Kurt knows that sound- he can tell his dad disapproves, but is choosing not to argue. He looks for something to change the subject and distract him from his thoughts.</p><p>"I have inside information about the catering as well," he shares, putting on a little more excitement than necessary. "We're talking Argentina steak, dad, and imported beer." He gives his dad a meaningful look.</p><p>"Oh yeah, my dad loves Heineken," Sebastian chips in, catching on. "He would be so pleased if you and your family could make it. Having you there would be the epitome of coolness to him."</p><p>Burt looks at the two of them with an amused expression. It's clear that he knows what they are doing, but he doesn't seem to mind. "Well, alright then. We'd love to come. Thank you." He nods at Kurt. "Carole is gonna wanna go over dresses with you," he says. "And I may need a new suit. I'm not sure my wedding suit will fit-" He pats his stomach. </p><p>"You were never going to wear your groom's suit to another person's wedding, dad, even if it did fit - I wouldn't let you," Kurt assures him. </p><p>"Yeah Liv might marry you by mistake," Sebastian jokes. </p><p>Burt snorts. "Carole sure wouldn't like that!"</p><p>Sebastian and Kurt share a smile and Kurt feels so happy it's like a balloon is filling in his chest. </p><p>"Can I tell Finn?" he asks his dad, already pulling out his phone. </p><p>"Sure, go ahead. You know he loves parties."</p><p>A yawn escapes Sebastian's mouth and he shivers a little. It reminds Kurt how long a day it's been. "I'll ask him in the morning," he says, puts his phone away again and looks at Sebastian. "Shall we head up?" </p><p>Sebastian nods. "Can I shower first? I need to warm up a little. It's a lot cooler here than in NC."</p><p>"Yeah, it's not exactly beach temperature here," Burt agrees. They get up and Kurt starts stacking their plates. Sebastian offers to help, but Burt steps in, picking up the rest.</p><p>"Oh, before you shower, could you bring me a sweatshirt from my suitcase?" Kurt calls over his shoulder to Sebastian, pushing open the door to the kitchen. </p><p>"Sure, babe," Sebastian replies, and he starts up the stairs.</p><p>As Kurt starts loading the dishwasher, Burt stops him. "Why don't you leave that for a bit, kiddo. I'd like to talk to you."</p><p>"Okay," Kurt says, dusting his hands a little and turning to face him. "What's up?"</p><p>"Let's go into the living room."</p><p>Kurt isn't sure he likes this. It sounds like a serious talk, if it can't be done over dishes. He follows his dad to the living room and tentatively sits down as he watches Burt walk over to the large sideboard. He doesn't know why, but as Burt pulls out a small stack of envelopes a sudden sense of dread washes over him. <em>Please don't let them be from the hospital</em>, Kurt begs silently, his mind jumping to cardiac diseases.</p><p>He watches his dad like a hawk as he crosses the room and sits down in his armchair, the stack of envelopes still in his hand. Kurt tries to get a peak at the front of them, but Burt is holding them close to his chest. "I'm not sure where to start," he says, and Kurt feels his blood drain from his face.</p><p>"Just start, please," he whispers. </p><p>"Okay, okay. Do you remember how I would put your spelling bees certificates and your sports medals up on the wall? I was so proud of you, your mom and I both were."</p><p>Kurt nods. He remembers that. His dad had probably hoped for more football trophies and less cheerleading ribbons, but there it was, and he eventually got over himself and put those on the wall, too. But what does that have to do with any letters?</p><p>"Well," Burt continues, "as a surprise, I was going to do that for your NYADA acceptance letter, because it's important, right? I got a nice frame and everything, so I went up to your room to look for it." He looks down on the letters in his hand, letting them fall back from his chest. Kurt recognises the NYADA logo right away. He knows that none of those are not his acceptance letter- that one is pressed between the pages of a Noël Coward book on his bookshelf over the bed. He doubts his dad would have thought to look there. These are the <em>other</em> letters.</p><p>"You went through my mail?" he lets out.</p><p>"Now, look, it was an accident," Burt counters, sounding defensive. "And they were already opened!"</p><p>Kurt wants to say so much - about people's private correspondence and how it's supposed to be <em>private</em> and that his father had no right...but with the memory of reading Julian's letter fresh in his mind, he finds that the words dry on his tongue. He swallows hard. "So you read them?" he asks instead.</p><p>His father frowns and nods, looking down on the letters. "I only glanced over the top one at first. I thought it was just a receipt for your grant or something, and it wasn't the letter I was looking for, so...But then I found another one just like it, and I thought, hey, why would they send you a receipt twice? Then I realized it was an <em>invoice.</em>"</p><p>He takes his cap off and runs his hand over his scalp. "Carole told me to stay out of it. That you had clearly read them, and that it was most likely a misunderstanding that you had already dealt with, and that I shouldn't bother you on your holiday."</p><p>Kurt bites his lip. His father is holding three envelopes. To his knowledge, he had received only two. His father hands him the third one. Over the address, in big red print, it reads FINAL REMINDER.</p><p> "This one came this morning," Burt continues. "I opened it."</p><p>"<em>Dad</em>!" Kurt lets out, knowing his outrage is futile, but unable to help himself. </p><p>"I know, I know," Burt says, nodding grimly. "I probably shouldn't have. But holy shit, Kurt, I'm glad I did! You could lose your spot over this! We should contact the office that arranged your grant and tell them there has been a mistake-"</p><p>Kurt shakes his head, his lips twisting into a bitter smile. "I lost my grant, dad. That's why they need the money from me."</p><p>"You lost it?" Burt asks. </p><p>"Your entry into congress made me ineligible," he confesses, "due to your new salary class. I got the grant while you only had the workshop."</p><p>"But all that money went into the election debts we made- I had to-" </p><p>"I know, I tried arguing with them, but…" Kurt interjects, and Burt looks up from the letter.</p><p>"You knew about this already? That it wasn't a mistake?"</p><p>Kurt nods quietly. He feels like he has just stabbed his dad- and now has to twist the knife. "They called me at the start of summer. I didn't tell you because I knew we didn't have the money."</p><p>"Kurt...we could have worked that out somehow!" Burt protests, and Kurt begins feeling defensive.</p><p>"How? How, dad? By taking an extra mortgage on the house? Or selling the car? And then what are we going to do if you have to go into the hospital again? Or if Finn needs money for college? We can't use all the family's savings for my tuition. Not <em>again</em>! I am the reason you and Carole never had a honeymoon, and I'll be damned if you have to miss out on anything else for my sake."</p><p>Burt is quiet for a moment. "So does that mean you'll lose your spot?" he asks dejectedly.</p><p>"No!" Kurt assures him. "I mean...they asked if I wanted to defer, but I told them I'd get the money in time. I just haven't...yet. I was going to figure it out."</p><p>Burt frowns. "So how were you going to do that? I haven't seen you taking any summer jobs or nothin'. All you've been doing this summer is hanging out with-" Burt sucks in a breath. "<em>Oh.</em>"</p><p>Kurt can tell the moment it all goes to hell. He can see that his father is piecing it all together. He's not dumb. People often underestimate him because he wears flannel and a baseball cap and works with his hands, but he understands more than he lets on. Emotions cross over his father's face as he unravels it in his head. The start of summer. The missing money. The new boyfriend. Kurt braces himself for anger, but what he gets is much, <em>much</em> worse. </p><p>"<em>Oh</em>, Kurt..."</p><p>Kurt narrows his eyes. <em>"What</em>?" he asks, his voice level.</p><p>"You thought you could make <em>his</em> father pay for it, because your own dad can't? Is that why you started dating that boy?" The disappointment is so evident in his voice it breaks Kurt's heart.</p><p>"<em>No!</em> I would never ask Greg to pay for NYADA!" he says loudly, blatantly ignoring the rest of his dad's insinuation.</p><p>Burt throws up his hands. "Of course not," he replies, anger now seeping in after all. "You wouldn't even need to. You can just get <em>Sebastian</em> to pay for it. It's probably not even more than his monthly allowance!" He shakes his head in disbelief. "I thought we had this talk. I taught you better than to feel like this was your only option-"</p><p>"I am <em>not</em> with him for the money!" Kurt shouts loudly, his voice breaking on the last word.</p><p>Behind them, a dull whump of something soft and heavy hitting the carpet can be heard. As the Hummel men look around, Sebastian is standing by the foot of the stairs, his hoodie lying on the floor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're still with us, thank you! At the risk of sounding like a nagging parent: have you slept yet?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Unsupportive tumblr anons; thank you for doing our PR for us.</p><p>As Oscar Wilde says, ‘There’s only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.’ </p><p>Every message of negativity you sent our way gave us new followers and allowed us to spread the word of our fic in the tags. If that was what you wanted- well done, it worked.</p><p>CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic nc-17 scene.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I am <em>not</em> with him for the money!"</p><p>"But you were," Sebastian says quietly, not moving from his place in the archway between the living room and the hallway. Kurt squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn't want to start crying- but most of all, he doesn't want to see the utterly crestfallen look on Sebastian's face.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Burt demands, and then turns to Kurt. "What does he mean? He <em>knew </em>about this?" He holds up the letters as an accusation. </p><p>"No," Sebastian says, pulling Burt's attention back to him. He swallows. When he finally speaks, his voice sounds hollow. </p><p>"I knew he wanted ten thousand dollars to date me for the summer. I agreed to it. I just didn't know what it was for."</p><p>Burt gasps for breath, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he looks from one to the other. His eyes end up on his son.</p><p>"Then none of it was real?" he asks, sounding genuinely hurt. "Trotting us all out there to his family on the Fourth of July? Him coming here for dinner? And all of that stuff about needing distance from Blaine and taking some time off to be at his family's beach hotel-"</p><p>"Beach <em>house</em>," Sebastian corrects quietly. "It's a house, not a hotel." His voice draws Burt's attention back to him. </p><p>"<em>You</em>!" he starts, pointing a finger at Sebastian and standing up to face him. "Why would you pay someone to be your boyfriend?! Is that what the upper class is like; you don't bother going on dates, you just <em>buy </em>one?"</p><p>Sebastian opens his mouth, but no sound is coming out. Instead, he snaps his jaw shut and clenches his teeth together. Kurt can tell he's struggling not to yell at his father, to launch into a counter attack with all the fierceness of a Smythe; because he knows that technically, Burt is right. That is exactly what he did.</p><p>Burt scoffs, as if Sebastian's silence confirms every single one of his prejudices. Then he shakes his head slowly and turns back to Kurt.</p><p>"This is not how your mom and I raised you, Kurt. You made him pay you for...for-"</p><p>"<em>No</em>, I didn't!" Kurt protests, standing up too and hating how his dad brings his mother into all of this. </p><p>"Oh? What else would he pay you that much money for, <em>holding his hand</em>?" His father asks, uncharacteristically sharp. Usually, Kurt is the sarcastic one of the two, but his dad is taking a leaf out of his book.</p><p>"I didn't have sex with him for money, okay?!" Kurt shouts desperately, feeling angry and hurt- because he had taken such care over summer to draw the line there, knowing what it meant if he crossed it.</p><p>"No, Kurt, it's not <em>okay</em>, because I'm not buying it. You spent several nights over there, he spent the night here. You went away on holiday together. And you were getting paid for it. Am I supposed to believe <em>nothing </em>happened?"</p><p>"You're getting it all wrong!"</p><p>"Then explain it to me, Kurt. No more lies. Did he agree to give you ten thousand dollars?"</p><p>"Yes," Kurt says tersely.</p><p>"And did you sleep with him?"</p><p>Kurt chokes out a breath. "Yes, but-"</p><p>Burt throws up his hands like his point is proven. "I can't believe this," he mutters defeatedly. "We <em>had</em> this talk, Kurt. I told you not to throw yourself around-" He suddenly looks up and gives Kurt a horrified look. "You didn't advertise for it, did you? On one of those apps?"</p><p>"Oh my god, <em>dad</em>!" Kurt lets out, his voice breaking. </p><p>"It was <em>my</em> idea, Mr Hummel," Sebastian finally cuts in. Kurt turns to look at him and can tell by the look on his face, the tenseness in his shoulders and the way he's holding himself that he's been itching to speak up for the last five minutes, but hadn't wanted to make things worse by interrupting Burt. "I needed a date...for the wedding, and I thought it would look more realistic if I had someone over to the house a few times before that."</p><p>Burt stares at him. "You needed a date," he repeats slowly. "And you…" he gestures up and down Sebastian's body, "couldn't get one? So you threw some money at a random boy?"</p><p>"<em>No</em>." </p><p>Sebastian looks at Kurt for a brief moment that feels like forever - and suddenly Kurt knows what he is going to say, and he almost wishes Sebastian won't because <em>he </em>is also connecting dots. </p><p><em>The Lima Bean, which is a far drive from Dalton Academy. Sebastian's father, knowing all about Burt - (from who?). Sebastian, knowing how Kurt takes his coffee; Sebastian sounding just a little </em>too<em> invested when he learns how Blaine dumped him (too much to have been that drunk, too coherent, too...there); Sebastian wondering if Kurt will ever be able to shake Blaine when every song on the radio reminds him of the other boy- Sebastian...</em>not<em> choosing just any boy to fake-date.</em></p><p>And Kurt doesn't know what to do with this information, it's too much to handle here, right in the middle of his dad's living room, while his father still half-thinks he prostituted himself. </p><p>"I didn't pick Kurt at random," Sebastian says, confirming Kurt's sudden epiphany. "I...wanted it to be <em>him</em>."</p><p>Burt is shaking his head softly. His voice is laced with pity as he speaks again. "So you liked him, and you let him use you like that?" he states. "Because it was the only way he'd be with you?"</p><p>Whatever they say now- that Sebastian used Kurt to lie to his parents, or that no one was using anyone, that they both used each other, that neither of them liked each other or that only Sebastian liked him but Kurt actually <em>hated </em>him and yet somehow the both of them ended up liking each other - they can only lose. There is not a single scenario in which any of this isn't completely fucked up. </p><p>"I didn't know he actually needed the money," Sebastian confesses. "I asked him what it would take, and he came up with that sum so easily, I thought...it was just a joke."</p><p>"A <em>joke?"</em> Burt repeats. "Ten thousand dollars is a <em>joke</em> to you? What did you think he was going to do with that kind of money, buy <em>shoes</em>?!" </p><p>Sebastian is lost for words for a moment, and Kurt can tell that's exactly what he must have thought. And suddenly the chism between their lives, that has been almost invisible the past few weeks, reveals itself again in its Grand Canyon magnitude. What had he been thinking, going to the Smythes' parties, driving their cars, pretending to be part of their world? He could never be like them, because not in a million years would he ever consider ten thousand dollars a pittance.</p><p>"You should have asked for the money upfront, secured your place at school," Sebastian muses, interrupting Kurt's thoughts.</p><p>Kurt cocks his head and looks into his eyes. "Would you have paid?"</p><p>Sebastian breathes in sharply and presses his lips together. "Probably not," he admits. "Unlike what your dad thinks, I can't <em>really</em> just transfer that kind of money out of my account without clearing it with my parents. I would have had to come up with some sort of excuse."</p><p>Kurt winces, knowing how it must sound to his dad. All Sebastian has to do to get that kind of money is<em> ask nicely.</em></p><p>"It doesn't matter anymore, anyway," he says softly. He turns to his dad. "The deal is off. I may have started dating him for tuition but I ended up staying because-" He sighs in frustration. "I wanted to be his boyfriend, dad. His<em> real</em> boyfriend. And when I told him, he said he wanted that too, and <em>that's</em> why we went to the beach house. To figure out if what has been growing between us all summer had a real shot at being <em>something</em>."</p><p>Burt frowns. "So, what, you got caught in some kind of Julia Roberts situation? It started out as a business deal and ended up with you falling in love?"</p><p>Kurt lets out a strangled sound that is something between a laugh and a sob, because of all the times his dad has to make a pop culture reference, it has to be <em>now</em>? </p><p>"Yes," Kurt decides, straightening his back and fixing his dad with his fiercest glare. "Yes, dad. I love him." </p><p>He hears movement and turns to look back at Sebastian and the look he is giving him is enough to bring tears to Kurt's eyes. Sebastian is looking at him as if he is everything, the sun, the moon, the stars, and everything in between and he sucks in a breath because despite it being a week since they first uttered those words to each other; only now is Kurt realising just what they mean.</p><p>He had loved Blaine, once upon a time. But it isn't until this moment that Kurt realizes the difference. He loved Blaine, it's true, but he is <em>in love</em> with Sebastian. Sebastian who builds sandcastles on the beach, who can't cook to save his life but can eat an entire round of cheese and still have room for more. Sebastian who makes him laugh in a way that he never knew was possible and who has spent every day this summer slowly piecing him back together. "I'm <em>in love</em> with you, Bas."</p><p>The smile that this pulls from his boyfriend lights up his face, his eyes are wide and bright, shining with unshed tears and he walks towards Kurt with purposeful strides, the hoodie forgotten, hands outstretched and Kurt falls into them, his own arms coming up to wrap around Sebastian's waist. They hug each other tightly, reaffirming everything the last weeks have meant to them, and then Sebastian lets go to take his head between his hands. Their lips meet in the middle in a well-practiced dance and it feels more like coming home than walking through his front door did.</p><p>The kiss doesn't last long but it's enough to confirm the connection, reassure them both that they're <em>here</em> and in this together. "I'm in love with you too, Kurt," Sebastian whispers as they break apart, foreheads pressed together. </p><p>A soft clearing of a throat reminds them that they're not alone in the room and they pull apart, though not far; Kurt keeps one of his arms around Sebastian's waist and Sebastian's arm settles around his shoulders as they turn to look at Burt. </p><p>He's looking at them with an expression that Kurt can't quite place. It's a mix between incredulity, pride, understanding and happiness. "Okay," Burt says after a beat. "I guess I believe you. I mean, that-" He gestures at them with his hand. "I would like to think I know enough about love to know you can't fake <em>that</em>." </p><p>Kurt offers him a smile and feels his heart soar as his dad returns it, but then he realizes his father is gearing up to say more, and he sucks in a breath and waits.</p><p>"I am glad that you have found each other somehow," Burt says, nodding to himself, "...but I can't ignore the fact that you've been lying to everyone for <em>weeks."</em></p><p>Kurt feels his insides turn to lead. While his anger at the misunderstanding was justified before, he knows he deserves <em>this</em> disappointment, because his father is right. They've been lying to everyone all summer.</p><p>"We never meant for it to turn into the mess that it became," Kurt says honestly. "<em>Neither </em>of us expected this to happen, but...it did."</p><p>Burt nods and then sighs. "So what about school? That's it? No more NYADA?"</p><p>"No!" Kurt insists. "I haven't lost my place! I can apply for a deferral for a year. I can still move to New York, I can work and save, reapply for aid and go next year!"</p><p>"Or you could just let me give you the money," Sebastian says. Kurt pulls away a little and both Hummel men open their mouths to talk. "Look," Sebastian continues, cutting them both off. "It's my fault that you've not been working this summer; if I'd not distracted you, you could have gotten a job and saved up the money."</p><p>"I would have <em>never</em> have made up that kind of-"</p><p>"Take it as a loan then? You could pay me back in a few months," Sebastian tries, but Kurt shakes his head. </p><p>Doesn't Sebastian realise that he <em>can't?</em> Taking money from him, even as a loan, will <em>really</em> feel like taking payment for his affections- because he knows that Sebastian will never accept the repayments. </p><p>"Come on Kurt, I don't want you to lose your place at your dream school when I can do something to help!"</p><p>"I won't lose my place," Kurt says, stepping away to look at him properly. "The lady on the phone said I could apply for a deferral. I can still <em>go</em> to school, just in a year."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Please don't fight me on this Bas," he pleads. "I've thought about this <em>a lot.</em> We can't change the way we started this summer, but I want us to have a future together, and it won't work if we're on an uneven footing from the beginning and I am indebted to you."</p><p>He looks up at his boyfriend, willing him to understand. Eventually, Sebastian nods. "Okay, I get that," he says, though he still looks very conflicted. </p><p>"Me too," Burt says, his voice a little rough. "And I respect you for it, kiddo."</p><p>"Can I have my letters?" Kurt asks. Burt looks down at his hands as if he's completely forgotten he was even holding them, and hurriedly thrusts them at Kurt. He takes them and slips the final notice out of its envelope. It has no new information - the deadline hasn't moved. It's still the 10th of September. He still has time to make his deferral official before he loses his spot. He nods to himself, accepting his fate. Then, he looks up at his father.</p><p>"Sebastian's parents think we've been dating since May," he confesses. "It's...a long story. I realize this puts you in a very awkward situation, but...could you please give us the opportunity to break the news to them ourselves?"</p><p>Burt frowns, his eyes going from his son to Sebastian and back. <em>"More lies?"</em> he asks incredulously and Kurt feels an even deeper level of guilt at the lengths to which they've gone to fool everyone. He thinks about everything the Smythe family have been through and feels sick at the thought that his actions could bring yet even more turmoil. </p><p>"I don't like it," Burt continues with a sigh, but he concedes; "but I agree you should be the ones to tell them." He puts his cap back on and tugs at the brim. "And I'll tell Carole you are figuring NYADA out."</p><p>"Thanks dad," Kurt says, sighing in relief. "I'm so sorry about all of this."</p><p>"So am I. I jumped to conclusions. I still think what you boys tried to pull off was wrong, but I should have trusted you to come to a mature decision about it and do the right thing in the end." Burt nods to himself. "I am sorry I yelled at you. I love you, son. You could rob a bank to pay for NYADA and I'd still love you."</p><p>"Oh, rest assured, he'd never do that," Sebastian jumps in. "There's no way he'd ever wear a stocking over his face."</p><p>"True. That will never be a look," Kurt agrees. "I love you too, dad."</p><p>"Come here." Burt puts his arms out, and Kurt steps into them, wrapping his arms around his father's bulk and clinging harder than he had greeting him before. "It's ok, buddy," he hears his dad whisper into his ear. "You'll figure it out. I trust you."</p><p>When Kurt finally feels stable enough to pull away, he sees Sebastian hover behind him a little awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He offers him a watery smile, but before he can say anything, his father does.</p><p>"I'm sorry for the stuff I said to you too," he offers gruffly. "I thought you were a nice kid, before- and your parents have been nothing but welcoming and generous to us. I refuse to believe all of that was fake. If you two really want to make this work, I'm not gonna stand in your way."</p><p>"Thank you," Sebastian says, his voice a little rough.</p><p>*****</p><p>They are quiet as they make their way upstairs. Kurt is still reeling, and when he closes the door of his childhood bedroom behind them, he closes his eyes and actually falters a little. He never intended for his dad to find out like this, and to jump to all the wrong conclusions (which are actually not even<em> that</em> wrong, and vividly brought back all of the times Kurt has had the same thoughts and doubts himself) and he knows he would have been able to react in a more mature way if he hadn't had this argument with himself in his head so many times already. It was bad enough back when he felt he had lost his own self respect, but to lose his dad's, even for a moment, was just that much worse. </p><p>When he opens his eyes and turns to face him, he can see that Sebastian, too, looks absolutely shaken. </p><p>"Kurt, I'm so sorry," he says, his voice barely more than a breath. He steps up to Kurt. They are close enough to touch, yet their bodies feel like they are miles apart. Kurt presses his back up against the door like it is the only thing keeping him upright. </p><p>"I honestly didn't know your situation was that dire."</p><p>Kurt shrugs awkwardly. "I didn't want you to know. I wanted you to think that I could leave at any time, to keep you on your toes. I was afraid you'd...abuse the situation if you found out it was my only choice." He turns away and avoids Sebastian's eyes until Sebastian's finger under his chin tilts his face back up to him.</p><p>"Abuse it...how?"</p><p>Kurt shrugs again, looking up into Sebastian's dark, stormy eyes. He does not want to admit all of the things that had gone through his head earlier that summer - or how far he may have gone to keep his end of the deal.</p><p>Sebastian frowns, maybe seeing the answer in his eyes, or hearing it in the unspoken words. "Fuck," he curses, letting go of Kurt's chin and taking a step back. "I really forced you, didn't I?" He sounds a little desperate, half-angry, half-afraid of what Kurt will say next. </p><p>Kurt shakes his head. It would be easy to lay the blame entirely at Sebastian's feet, but the both of them had made the deal. "You didn't force me," he says. "To be honest, I thought it would be easy money. I didn't like you, and the thought of making you pay for something you boasted about getting for free at every corner made me feel good."</p><p>Sebastian lets out a huff of breath, releasing some of the tension in his face, and he raises an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"</p><p>Kurt smirks. "Yes. I mean, you were always insulting me, you tried to take Blaine from me- I figured I was owed that money anyway. You know, for emotional damages."</p><p>He expects Sebastian to laugh it off or claim <em>he</em> was the one who ought to be paid emotional damages for putting up with him, but instead, Sebastian chews his bottom lip, his forehead scrunched up in a frown. Kurt knows he is probably going over what he said and did, measuring it against Kurt's words. They've been over this before; and Kurt has already forgiven Sebastian. Having the full picture of their past does not change that decision.</p><p>"That was a joke, Bas," he offers. Then he pauses. "Did you mean what you said back there?" he asks carefully. "Did you...pick me for a reason?"</p><p>Now it's Sebastian who looks away, shrugging with words he doesn't want to- or can't- say. </p><p>Kurt puts a hand on his arm. "It's okay," he offers. "It doesn't matter. Whatever it was, I am glad you did." He waits until Sebastian turns back to face him and then continues. "I know the way we started things was messed up, but... it gave me the chance to get to know you. I am not sure that would have happened any other way." He shudders to think how he would have reacted if Sebastian had just asked him out. </p><p>"That afternoon with Blaine wasn't the first time I saw you," Sebastian says suddenly. </p><p>Kurt blinks. Immediately, he thinks of the day they met - how he walked in on him and Blaine talking at the Lima Bean, with Sebastian looking at his boyfriend like a cat about to pounce a mouse. Kurt had recognized the danger right away. He knew the new boy was trouble and instantly made his mind up to keep him away from Blaine. "What do you mean?" he asks.</p><p>"Not long after I moved back from Paris, Julian and I went on a tour of the gay bars around here. One night we ended up at Scandals and it got kind of late. Or early, depending on how you want to look at it." He offers Kurt half a smile before continuing. "It would have been irresponsible to drive home like that, so we went to the Lima Bean to counter fatigue and alcohol with some sugar and coffee...and there you were. You were with Mercedes, getting a coffee to go before school." He paused.</p><p>Kurt tries to imagine it, but it feels weird to think of Julian and Sebastian, dressed for a night at the bar, hanging out at a place like the Lima Bean. He has only seen Sebastian there after school, in his uniform. "So?" he asks. What could have been so interesting about him getting a coffee?</p><p>"So...I don't know. You seemed...different. Interesting. I wanted to talk to you, but you didn't seem like the type of guy who'd appreciate being approached by someone smelling of booze and second-hand smoke, so I didn't."</p><p>"Oh." Kurt feels himself deflate a little. That was it? That was why he had picked him? Because one morning, half-drunk, he had seen him and it had somehow tickled his fancy?</p><p>Then Sebastian continues. </p><p>"But we drove by from a performance with the Warblers a few weeks later and I convinced them to stop and get coffees. You were there, by yourself. You had brought a book and it looked like you were studying, and I was with the Warblers, so...again, I did nothing. But I came back a few days later around the same time, on my own. You were there again."</p><p>Kurt briefly wonders if he is as predictable as that. He probably is, due to school schedules and bus routes, and he did really like the Lima Bean's coffee (until he discovered the Smythes' espresso machine).</p><p>"Why didn't you talk to me?" he asks.</p><p>"I wasn't sure how," Sebastian admits. "It's easier in a bar, you can just buy a guy a drink, ask them to dance…" he trails off. "I thought about buying you a coffee but by the time I figured out your order-" He stops himself and shrugs.</p><p>"What?" Kurt wants to know so much more; how many times did Sebastian drive up just to sit there and watch him? Kurt often used the Lima Bean to study or to kill time until it was time to pick up Finn from football practise, more often than not just reading magazines or playing with his phone, completely oblivious of having an audience. Had he ever done something embarrassing, like picking at his skin or talking to himself? If Sebastian was able to recall any outfits, Kurt could backtrack and calculate when exactly-</p><p>"Well, then I met Blaine and I figured I could try and practice on him first."</p><p>Kurt's jaw goes slack and he stares at Sebastian incredulously. <em>Practice?</em> The cheezy pick-up lines, the boastful stories about Paris and his rich dad - that was him practising to pick up someone with more standards than a hook-up?</p><p>"I guess that kind of backfired when we met and I caught you smooth-talking him," Kurt says.</p><p>Sebastian grimaces. "Yeah, well, let's just say that up until that point, Blaine had been quite...receptive to my suggestions. He didn't even tell me he had a boyfriend until the day you and I met, and by then I guess I was already invested."</p><p>"Invested in stealing my boyfriend?" Kurt asks, his voice considerably cooler.</p><p>"Invested in getting what I wanted at the time," Sebastian replies, frowning. "I didn't know you, and yes, I thought maybe I wanted to meet you; but when we did meet you treated me like gum under your shoe, so I just went after Blaine instead."</p><p>"Because. You. Were. Stealing. Him," Kurt spells out exasperatedly. "I can't believe you are actually blaming <em>me</em> for trying to keep my own boyfriend!"</p><p>"I'm not!" Sebastian says, raising his voice a little. "I'm just trying to explain how it happened! I knew I had lost all of my chances with him after the slushy accident-"</p><p>"Slushy <em>attack</em>," Kurt corrects him.</p><p>"And you made it quite clear that you hated my guts for it all, so I tried to stay away from you both after that," Sebastian continues, ignoring him. "But then my mom grounded me and I kind of panicked. I had been driving up to Lima a few times a week to go to Scandals and I figured if I could make her believe it was to see you, she'd lay off of me. I never thought she'd actually want to <em>meet </em>you."</p><p>"Because parents wanting to meet the person their child is dating is <em>so</em> weird," Kurt comments sarcastically.</p><p>"How would I know?" Sebastian replies. "I've never dated anyone before, Julian never brought Cooper home, and Liv never <em>had</em> to bring Brian home because he was there most of the time anyway." He shrugs awkwardly. "The rest is...pretty much as I told you back then. I didn't want to date anyone for real, so I asked you, because I knew you hated me and wouldn't have any wrong expectations."</p><p>Kurt closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. He feels like he has been on a rollercoaster. For a moment he had thought that Sebastian had been about to confess to some kind of secret crush, and the romantic in his heart had been ready to forgive everything and retcon their whole origin story in his head for the sake of love- and then Sebastian ruined it by the callous way he talked about Blaine and the choices he made to pursue him after they met.</p><p>Sebastian is quiet. He seems to be waiting for Kurt's verdict, but Kurt isn't ready. Just now, he had said it didn't matter why Sebastian chose him, that however they may have started, the fact that they are together now is what is important, but Sebastian's words have brought up so much old hurt it's hard to stand by that. He doesn't know what to do, because for the past two months, Sebastian has been the one he turned to when he was hurting, and his whole body is yearning to seek him out even though right now he is the cause of Kurt's anguish. It is making him dizzy. He sways on his feet.</p><p>Then Sebastian is there, and two strong hands on his arms hold him up. "I've got you," he whispers, and leans his forehead against Kurt's. Kurt tries to regulate his breathing. His heart is pounding like he just came off stage, adrenaline still flooding his system. Sebastian's hand comes up to the back of his neck, holding him steady. "I've got you," he repeats, and turns his head to rest the side of his face against Kurt's brow. Kurt leans in, shifting his weight against Sebastian and lets him hold the both of them up. He can feel Sebastian's lips on his forehead, pressing dry kisses against his skin, a little too hard and desperate to feel like anything more than the press of teeth and chin under his lips, assuring himself that this is real and they are both here. There is a brief rush of cold air as Sebastian breathes in swiftly, followed by more kisses like he needs to make most of his time before a next breath will cause him to pause again. "I'm sorry," he whispers against Kurt's skin. "I'm so sorry, Kurt."</p><p>As Kurt feels calm enough to pull away a little and open his eyes, he can see deep into Sebastian's. It takes him back to the nighttime ocean in North Carolina, when it was just them and the calming sound of the waves. "It's okay," he whispers. "We're here now."</p><p>Sebastian nods. The gravitas of Kurt's words is not lost on him, but he makes no move to run or laugh it off.</p><p>"Can I kiss you?" he suddenly asks, and for a moment, Kurt is too confused to reply. They are together; they have kissed a hundred times; isn't his permission implied? But it makes a welcome change to the times when his permission was not implied, nor asked for, and he nods and angles his face up to meet Sebastian's lips. </p><p>Sebastian kisses him softly, more carefully and less urgent now than before, and Kurt opens up beneath him, inviting him into his mouth. There is something new to it, layered over the familiarity, something that is more than just the heat of Sebastian's tongue and their mingled breaths, but before Kurt can overthink it, muscle memory kicks in and his hands come up around Sebastian's shoulders. It's been a long day and he doesn't want to think anymore. As of the same mind, Sebastian's hands close around his waist. Their kiss becomes more heated, pressing deeper, demanding. Their chests are pressed close, their legs trying to find a way to slot together without losing their balance. Fingers find their way beneath clothes. It is not enough. </p><p>Without breaking the contact, Kurt spins them around, pulling Sebastian along with him. This is his bedroom; he knows its dimensions with his eyes closed. Two more steps and the back of his knees hit the bed. He draws up one leg to climb up, still kissing Sebastian as he drags him along. Sebastian breaks their kiss to let out a deep breath. His pupils are blown wide, his eyes dark and intense. With one knee resting on the bed, he glances down at Kurt, his eyes roving over his body. Kurt looks back at him openly, doing nothing to hide the arousal that is making his jeans span tightly over his groin.</p><p>Then he is there, pushing Kurt down onto the mattress, covering his body with his own, pressing more of those needy, desperate kisses against Kurt's skin anywhere he can find, moving from his lips to his cheek to his ear and finally settling with his face pressed in the hollow between Kurt's jaw and his shoulder, mouthing at the skin over Kurt's pulse. Kurt can feel Sebastian's teeth graze his throat, and he arches up, turning his head to the side to offer up more. It feels exactly right and yet, not enough. He lets out a frustrated breath and squirms underneath Sebastian's body.</p><p>Sebastian pushes himself up on his elbows and knees to look into Kurt's face. He is panting. "Too much?" he asks in between breaths.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt sighs. "Too much clothing." </p><p>He burrows his hands in the clothes on Sebastian's back, pulling his shirt up until he can grab a handful and tugs it over Sebastian's head. Sebastian sits up on Kurt's calves to help him, shrugging it off of his arms and throwing it to the side, and Kurt smiles up at the expanse of freckled, bronzed skin he has uncovered. Sebastian smiles back, slipping his hands under Kurt's shirt and sliding them up his chest, stroking and squeezing, his fingers catching on the hard, tight nubs of his nipples. He licks his lips and leans forwards, pushing up Kurt's shirt until his lips can latch onto him, running the tip of his tongue over and around one, then the other. </p><p>Kurt huffs with a frustrated need and grabs hold of the gathered fabric around his shoulders and pulls his shirt over his head, letting it drop to the side and twining his fingers into Sebastian's hair. Remembering their explorations at the beach house, he tugs a little, and feels Sebastian's breath hot on his skin. His teeth graze Kurt's nipple, and Kurt reflexively pulls his shoulders up, caving in his chest a little with a laugh. Sebastian lifts his head and grins up at him. </p><p>"Ticklish?" he asks.</p><p>"<em>No</em>," Kurt says sternly, then grins. He pulls Sebastian up on top of him for a kiss. His chest feels warm against his skin, and he can feel Sebastian's heart beat when he breathes in. He pulls Sebastian tightly against his body and rolls up his hips, seeking friction. Sebastian groans against his throat. He is hard, and Kurt feels him press himself against his hip bone, grinding down. His jeans are rough against the newly exposed skin of Kurt's abdomen, all buttons and hard seams, and the pressure is almost painful. He puts his hands on Sebastian's hips and lifts him off. </p><p>His hands snake between them and begin unbuttoning Sebastian's jeans. Sebastian lets out a hard breath through smiling lips, and carefully rolls off Kurt, lying down on his back so that he can work the button and zipper open himself. He palms his erection over his underwear, letting out a soft moan of relief as his jeans fall open and he adjusts himself away from the restricting denim. </p><p>Kurt rolls on his side to face him and covers his hand with his own. Their eyes meet, and Kurt gently squeezes his fingers and then pulls Sebastian's hand away from himself to guide him towards his own jeans. Sebastian rolls on his side as well, popping Kurt's button open with ease and sliding down the zipper. He traps his lower lip between his teeth as he slides a hand down to cup hold of Kurt and begins massaging him there, curling his fingers around his shaft over the fabric. To encourage him, Kurt shifts closer and slides his own hands down the back of Sebastian's jeans, cupping his ass with his hands and nudging his jeans down with his wrists and forearms. </p><p>With every inch the fabric moves down, he can reach further around Sebastian's buttocks, grabbing each cheek firmly and using them to reel Sebastian's groin closer to his. He briefly lets go to pull Sebastian's jeans fully out of the way, pushing them down his thighs. Sebastian pulls away a little too to help take them off completely, before they're there again; lips meeting in the middle in a searing kiss that sucks the air from his lungs. He takes hold of Sebastian's ass again, his fingers digging into the firm flesh, his fingertips inching closer together to where his legs meet. He rubs the fabric of Sebastian's underwear against him, feeling the warmth underneath where it dips inwards, and Sebastian lets out a strangled breath, wet against his cheek, and his hand tightens around Kurt's cock.</p><p>Sebastian's lips find their way back to his throat, and the movement of his hand and the pressure of his tongue laving his skin makes Kurt ache to combine the two; to feel that hot mouth around him where Sebastian's fingers are circling him now, to have his tongue press against his tip where Sebastian's thumb is pressing and teasing. He moves one hand to the back of Sebastian's neck and gently directs him down. </p><p>Sebastian takes the hint and starts kissing down his chest again, while his hands begin to peel away Kurt's jeans. Kurt lifts his hips to help him roll them down, and cycles his legs to kick out of the cuffs until his legs are free. </p><p>His erection is poking out of his underwear now and lies hard against his stomach. Sebastian looks up at him and licks his lips, and there it is again, that brief pause where he just<em> waits</em>, and doesn't continue until Kurt nods,<em> yes, yes please,</em> and lifts his hips to meet him. </p><p>Sebastian rolls down his underwear, wraps his lips around him and sinks down, taking him into his mouth and <em>god</em>, into his throat with ease and Kurt has never felt like this, <em>ever</em>. A hand darts out blindly, seeking Kurt's, and when he finds him, Sebastian directs it to his hair. Kurt lets out a low moan when he realizes what Sebastian is asking him to do, and is rewarded with a low, vibrating hum as he winds his hands in Sebastian's hair to direct his movements. <em>This is what he wants?</em> He can't ask because words are failing him and Sebastian can't reply anyway, but the answer is clear in Sebastian's growing enthusiasm and the urgent, hard press of his own erection against Kurt's leg and so Kurt just goes along with it, lifting his hips and bringing his hands down, fucking Sebastian's throat.</p><p>Sebastian knows what he doing, there is no doubt about that, and even though Kurt's hands are on his head he is the one setting the pace, and it's making Kurt quite delirious- Sebastian is taking him to hell and back, changing pressure and intensity each time he feels Kurt getting close, taking him to the edge of orgasm and then pulling him back. Time loses its meaning until he pulls away completely, and Kurt is left thinking<em> no, come back, we only just started.</em></p><p>"I want to ride you," Sebastian states, his voice a little rough. Kurt sucks in his bottom lip and looks at him. He can tell it's a little bit of a dare for his boyfriend, like saying it outloud is setting a challenge; one Kurt thinks may not be such a good idea. He tries to push through the haze of lust to find his way back to words; coherent ones preferably, but it's already taken too long and Sebastian has noticed, his face taking on a harder edge.</p><p>"What?" Sebastian asks. "Are you not into that?" There's hesitation in his voice. Kurt wonders if this is a favorite position of his; they haven't really talked about that yet, but Kurt remembers their first time and the way Sebastian lifted him up onto his lap -  it's definitely something that gets him hot if he is the one with someone riding him.</p><p>"I am," Kurt quickly assures him. "It's just...maybe not the easiest way to get started," he adds carefully. "I mean, gravity...is kind of a bitch." He can see Sebastian pull back, both physically and in his mind, and he pushes himself up to a sitting position so they can see eye to eye. "Tell me what you are thinking right now," he asks.</p><p>Sebastian looks away and shrugs. Kurt waits. His skin is cooling and he longs to pull Sebastian's warm body on top of him, but this is important to him, more important than getting off.</p><p> "I feel dumb," Sebastian admits quietly. "This is dumb."</p><p>"It's not," Kurt replies. "I am just trying to be careful. At my first time-"</p><p>"This is <em>not </em>my first time. I'm not a virgin. I know how stuff works," Sebastian insists. </p><p>"I <em>know</em> you know how it works. But you said it yourself that you never really enjoyed it before. If I hurt you by accident, I may never get to do it again." He offers his boyfriend a cheeky smile. "This is in my best interest too, you know."</p><p>He winks at Sebastian to show him he's trying to lighten the mood, but a part of him is quite serious. He remembers the mistakes he and Blaine made at first because they were over-eager to try out things they had seen in porn; some of which had been quite painful, even though they had always tried to be careful with each other. </p><p>Sebastian looks pensive. "I wonder if any of the guys I slept with had their first time with me," he says. "No one ever said, and...I never really asked. I mean, they got one shot. If they were good, I'd hit them up again- if they were bad, I just didn't bother."</p><p>Kurt nods. "Well, I want to bother," he says, needing so badly for Sebastian to know that this doesn't need to be the Sex Olympics. "This is not a one-strike-and-you're-out thing. You don't have to be on your best game the first time."</p><p>"I'm <em>always </em>on my best game," Sebastian replies a little defensively. "Never had any complaints."</p><p>Kurt hums. "I definitely had no complaints at the beach house," he reminds his boyfriend. "And I'm sure we'll be fine with this too. More than fine. Just...practice makes perfect, remember? Let's start easy and work up to it."</p><p>Sebastian presses his lips together and nods. "So...what do we do now?"</p><p>Kurt reaches out his hand and lifts Sebastian's chin up to kiss him. "Now," he whispers, and places a soft kiss on his lips, "my sexy lover," he kisses him again, and this time his hand wanders into Sebastian's lap, curling his hand around him, "I will get us some lube and a condom, and we lie down, and I will try and make you feel <em>really</em> good. Definitely in <em>my</em> best interest."</p><p>Sebastian huffs out a breath and thrusts up into Kurt's hand. Kurt starts pumping his fist around him as they kiss and try to recapture the momentum. He can feel Sebastian's need growing, and after one final, deep kiss, he lets go to reach for his bedside table. He takes out a condom and a squeeze bottle of lube, and brings them over to Sebastian, who has settled himself back down on the mattress.</p><p>"It's just us, remember?" Kurt says. "You don't need to put up a show. If you don't like it, tell me and we'll do something else."</p><p>"Okay," Sebastian agrees. Kurt can tell this is awkward for him, and maybe it is a little bit, but Kurt does not want to take anything for granted; he wants to give Sebastian the opportunity to be honest. It doesn't feel like he has had that much in the past. They need to be able to trust each other with this. He knows it won't always have to be so elaborate- once he and Blaine had figured out their preferences, things went fine with nonverbal communication too (but he shouldn't be thinking about that now, and he forces his ex out of his mind because he really needs to focus on Sebastian).</p><p>He puts his supplies down and lies down next to Sebastian, capturing his mouth with a kiss. As their tongues slide against each other, stroking and probing, and their bodies automatically draw together again, seeking warmth, he puts his hands on Sebastian's hips and gently rolls him on his side facing away from him. He breaks the kiss and spoons up against Sebastian's back, moving his mouth to Sebastian's ear. </p><p>"Pretend we're at the beach," he whispers, and wrapping his arm around Sebastian's waist, he takes Sebastian's hand and brings it to his erection, putting his hand on top of his. Sebastian moans quietly, and Kurt feels it rumble in his chest. Sebastian moves his hand over his dick, taking Kurt's hand with him, giving himself the fast pace he enjoys. </p><p>Kurt kisses the back of his neck and pulls his hand back, letting Sebastian touch himself while he feels around for the bottle of lube. He finds it and flicks it open with a <em>snick</em>. He slicks his fingers and brings them between Sebastian's legs, rubbing his fingertips over his hole while latching his lips on Sebastian's shoulder, worrying the skin a little. He hopes the mix of sensations will distract his boyfriend enough to relax into it. He draws circles on Sebastian's skin with his tongue and nudges his fingertip forward, breaching him. Sebastian's hand on himself falters a little, and then he slowly starts up again. </p><p>For a while that's all Kurt does, just holding him open like that, feeling Sebastian's pulse throb rapidly against his finger. He waits until Sebastian pushes back against his hand a little, and then slides his finger in further, past the tight, pulsing hot ring of muscle into the soft, pliant warmth behind it. Sebastian gasps and holds still. Kurt begins to move his finger in and out, and after a moment, Sebastian starts touching himself again to the rhythm. </p><p>Kurt pulls back a little before pressing back in with two fingertips. He can feel the tension in Sebastian's body, the way his muscles stiffen under the new sensation, and he waits, listening to Sebastian's breathing until it becomes deeper, heavier, and he pushes in while Sebastian exhales. Sebastian moans a little, a low, surprised roll of breath, and the sound, combined with feeling the velvety soft and slick grip around his fingers nearly makes Kurt come undone. His hips thrust forward against the back of his own hand, nudging him along impatiently. He curls in his fingers and feels a shudder wrack through Sebastian as he finds the right angle, and Sebastian releases the last hold on himself, now eagerly pressing back into his hand to seek out more. Kurt gives it to him, giving him a pace with two and when that is no longer enough, three fingers. Sebastian is making more noises now, moans and sighs and half-articulated words of encouragement and finally he asks for it- for more, for <em>Kurt, </em>and it is just as well, because Kurt isn't sure how long he would have lasted without it.</p><p>"Fuck me, Kurt - please. Oh god, please fuck me. I need you inside of me."</p><p>"Yes. Yes, <em>yes</em>, but I need you to be quiet," Kurt replies urgently. "Please, for my dad's sake."</p><p>Sebastian groans but nods, clenching his jaw.</p><p>Kurt rolls on a condom, covers himself in more lubricant and lines himself up, pushing inside carefully, and settles his hand over Sebastian's again, helping him jerk off. They move in unison, Kurt rocking into him softly from behind, placing soothing kisses on the back of Sebastian's neck, and when Sebastan begins pushing himself back with punishing, short stabs as if he wants to drive himself home, his hand almost a blur on his own cock, Kurt can tell he is ready for more. He takes hold of Sebastian's hips and carefully pulls out.</p><p>"Turn around for me, babe," he mumbles hoarsely, and the look on Sebastian's face as he does so fulfills every single one of Kurt's fantasies at once. He says a brief prayer to whatever is listening up there, and then pulls himself up into a sitting position, settling back against the headboard of his bed. "Do you still want to ride me?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian nods, and he lets go of himself to straddle Kurt's legs, lifting himself up over him. He reaches behind him to grasp Kurt firmly, positioning him.</p><p>"Go easy," Kurt says, feeling a little nervous. "Don't hurt me."</p><p>Sebastian smirks and instead of replying, sinks down on him, impaling himself. The expression on his face tightens for a moment and so does his grip on Kurt, but then he takes a deep breath and lets go. He places his hands on Kurt's shoulders and lifts himself a little experimentally, rolling his hips, and Kurt hisses at the dragging sensation. He puts his hands on Sebastian's hips and pulls him back down into his lap, pushing in deeper than their previous position allowed. Almost as if to tease him, Sebastian lifts his hips again in a challenge, and Kurt follows through, pulling him back - they are both grinning and continue doing it, playing and teasing, until they establish a rhythm that becomes too intense to shoot each other coy looks. </p><p>They begin fucking in earnest, Sebastian working himself down onto Kurt with lean thighs, Kurt holding his hips tightly to meet him with deep thrusts, lifting the both of them off the mattress. Sebastian is letting out dull grunts every time he slams down, a look of pure concentration on his face. His cock is bobbing up against his stomach, straining and leaking, and Kurt relaxes his hold on Sebastian to close a fist around it. Sebastian's eyes fly open and he looks at Kurt, fixing his eyes with his own. He is breathing hard and grabs the headrest behind Kurt's shoulders, pulling himself up a little. He spreads his legs further, pushing his knees into the mattress to take his weight off Kurt's lap, enabling Kurt to thrust up into him without having to lift them both.</p><p>He lets Kurt take over, fucking up into him and working his hand over his cock at the same time. It's hard work, literally and figuratively, and Kurt's entire body is coiled tightly, his muscles straining to bring them to their release, pumping ever faster.</p><p>Kurt comes first, but Sebastian follows shortly after, pushing back to impale himself on Kurt's still-hard cock as he shudders through his release. Kurt holds him through it as he spills all over his hand, and then lets go. Sebastian lets himself slump forward onto Kurt's chest and lies there for a moment, panting. After a while, he begins lifting himself, and Kurt quickly reaches around him to secure his condom. Sebastian is still breathing hard, and he is looking down at Kurt with a mixture of awe and something else. Kurt isn't sure what; he only hopes it's not regret. "Is everything okay?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian nods, then climbs off Kurt and settles down on his back, taking a moment to shake his legs and shift his back against the mattress until he is comfortable. Kurt can tell he's making an inventory of his body, relaxing muscles that were strained and adjusting to what is suddenly missing inside of him. He tries to give him time, but he also really kind of needs feedback. Did he do well enough for Sebastian to want to do that again? Because Kurt? He really, really wants to. </p><p>Sebastian rolls over to look at him and sighs. "I'm all for this communicating stuff," he says, "but I need a moment, okay?" He puts a hand on Kurt's thigh and squeezes softly. "Gameplay discussion in the morning."</p><p>Kurt lets out a huff of breath in relief and grins. Incoherency is probably a good sign. He leans down to kiss him softly, pleased when the pressure is returned. "Okay. Goodnight Bas."</p><p>"Goodnight, Kurt." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Established Kurtbastian Authors; thank you for creating AUs, fix-its, and pages full of snarky dialogue and witty banter, thank you for the hours of endless research, time devoted and tears wept. Thank you for sparking inspiration to a new generation of authors.</p><p>CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains a mild nc-17 scene.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kurt comes downstairs the next morning, freshly showered and navigating the stairs delicately, the muscles in his thighs reminding him of his work-out the night before, he finds his boyfriend on the couch next to Finn, their eyes glued to a video game. He smiles at the picture it makes.</p><p>He and Sebastian had woken up together earlier and, as promised, Sebastian had taken the time to assure him that he had enjoyed what they had done. It had felt every bit as awkward as their talk the night before had been, but at the same time, this kind of information is something Kurt simply needs for them to work, and he suspects it's actually good for Sebastian to give it more thought as well. Later, they will both have the confidence that comes with experience, the intimate knowledge of each other's bodies and preferences without having to stop and ask - there will be quickies and efficiency as well as long nights of knowing exactly when to stop to draw it out as long as possible. For now, they have verbal communication. </p><p>And zombies, apparently, and that means banishing all morning-after thoughts from his mind to deal with his brother.</p><p>"Good morning," Kurt offers. </p><p>"Morning," Finn replies, not looking up from the screen. "Back me up, Warbler, they are closing in! NOW, SMYTHE!" He half-stands up, leaning towards the screen and dodging the zombies by swaying left and right.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, keep your panties on," Sebastian mumbles, sitting on the couch completely immobile save his thumbs which are a blur over the controller. "And: boom. They're dead."</p><p>"AW YEAH!" Finn drops his controller and holds up his open palm. Sebastian looks at him for a moment, and then hesitantly holds his hand up. Finn high-fives him hard.</p><p>Kurt smiles. "Did you have breakfast yet?"</p><p>"Nah, too busy. Could you make us some?" Finn asks, letting himself drop back into the couch.</p><p>Kurt raises a single eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest. "I am gone for weeks and this is how you welcome me back? Hello Kurt, get into the kitchen?"</p><p>Finn looks up at him with wide eyes. "That's not what I meant, I just thought...if you're <em>going</em> to the kitchen anyway… getting coffee or cereal or something...." he says slowly, looking guilty enough for Kurt to relent. "I didn't mean you have to <em>cook</em> for me. Because you're not a girl- um- not that <em>girls </em>have to cook!! But sometimes they want to, and, you like to cook as well-" He shoots Sebastian a nervous look. "Don't tell Burt?"</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Relax. This is just me reminding you of your manners. Can I get a hug? <em>Then</em> I'll bring you cereal."</p><p>"Cool," Finn agrees, and gets up. Kurt has almost forgotten just how tall he is. He wraps his arms around his brother and hugs him tightly. He has missed him, and it feels like this is the last summer they'll be able to do this- just chill in their pajamas in their family home. Soon, they'll have college dorms across states, and this will be a place they <em>visit,</em> not live in. Kurt wants to make the most of it.</p><p>"Can I play? I haven't had a crack at Puck's high score yet." </p><p>Sebastian smirks. "You play this game?" he asks.</p><p>"Aaaand there's another one for the stereotype score board, <em>ding ding</em>, thank you for playing!" Kurt says overly chipper. "Check the wall of fame, I should be up there in second place, unless Finn miraculously improved-"</p><p>"Hey!" Finn protests, but then shrugs and opens the list in the game.</p><p>"<em>You're </em>Dr Hammerstein?" Sebastian asks incredulously, reading the username outloud. </p><p>"Let me guess. You thought I was <em>Trixie_60</em>, huh?" Kurt states.</p><p>Finn scrunches up his nose. "That's <em>mom</em>!" he protests. "Kurt's way better at this game. She only played, like, once, and all she did was chop wood and build snares. I was like: mom, that axe is for killing zombies!"</p><p>Sebastian shoots Kurt a slightly guilty look, but he shrugs. It doesn't matter - he'll learn, and until then, Kurt gets to make him squirm by acting offended. It's a win-win situation. </p><p>He walks to the kitchen and checks on the coffee. Burt and Carole must have brewed a fresh pot before they left for work, because it's still warm. He puts it on a tray with three mugs, adding different measures of sugar for the three of them, and finds a family box of Lucky Charms in the cupboard. He knows Finn eats them dry most of the time, but he takes the milk out from the fridge anyway, and then his eye falls on the left-overs from last night. Cold roast beef definitely trumps cereal, so he lays some out on a plate and adds some greens for color. With a sigh, knowing Finn's tastes, he also grabs the mayonnaise. Then he takes the tray back to the livingroom and puts it down on the coffee table.</p><p>"Scoot," he demands, and Sebastian makes room for him on the couch. </p><p>"Oh, sweet," Finn exclaims, eying the left-overs. "Rachel's dads made vegan lasagna yesterday, it tasted like shoe."</p><p>"How would you know-" Kurt starts, then shakes his head. "Remember to share, Finn. I want some of that, and I'm sure Sebastian does too."</p><p>"Please," Sebastian says, clearly on his best behavior now. </p><p>Finn dutifully stacks only one-third of the meat on his plate and adds a generous dollop of mayonnaise. Kurt represses a shudder, and divides the rest up equally. They all take their plates and dig in. When he sees how quickly Sebastian's portion is gone, Kurt paces himself and then changes plates with Sebastian when he finishes. He could have finished it by himself, but it feels better sharing, and the smile he gets from Sebastian in return is worth it. </p><p>"Hold up, what just happened?" Finn asks, cocking his head.</p><p>"What?" Kurt asks innocently.</p><p>"He's eating your food!"</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I let him."</p><p>"Dude!" Finn protests. "You <em>never</em> share food! You taught me how to cut a pizza in three equal parts! I never even get so much as a lick of your ice cream!"</p><p>Kurt smirks. "There's two reasons for that, Finn. One: I am not exchanging spit with you, and two: if I <em>did</em> let you try my ice cream, you'd eat half of it in one go like you do when you trick Rachel into sharing with you."</p><p>Finn grins sheepishly. "Oh yeah." He chuckles. "She falls for that every time." Then he frowns. "...spit?" He looks between the two of them.</p><p>"He just means kissing," Sebastian adds.</p><p>"I knew that," Finn says quickly. </p><p>They finish their breakfast and start up a new game, and Kurt shows Sebastian how Dr Hammerstein deals when the hills are alive with the sound of zombies. Sebastian is dutifully impressed, and Kurt is about to suggest another game when his phone buzzes. </p><p>
  <strong>JULIAN: I'm outside, are you decent?</strong>
</p><p>Kurt sits up and glances out the window. Sure enough, there's a blue Jaguar parked behind Sebastian's Mustang. He quickly types a reply. </p><p>
  <strong>KURT: We all are, it's almost noon. What are you doing here?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>JULIAN: aw :(</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>JULIAN: Time to suit up!! Taking you shopping babe.</strong>
</p><p>Kurt shakes his head softly. After Julian's incessant badgering about what he was going to wear to the wedding on the way back to Ohio (<em>I just want to make sure we don't clash, sweetheart, you know all the Smythe siblings get at least one dance with you</em>), Kurt had finally admitted that he had planned to wear his Vivian Westwood suit again. It was the best he had, and Sebastian had certainly seemed enamoured with it at the country club gala. And even if that night brought up a few sore memories, all the more reason to make new memories wearing it, or so he'd thought - until he had seen the horrified expression on both Smythe boys' faces. </p><p>
  <em>"You think…?" Julian asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Have to," Sebastian agreed. "Fabio?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No other choice," Julian confirmed.</em>
</p><p><em>"What </em>are<em> you two talking about?"</em></p><p>Between the two of them, they had concluded Kurt needed a new outfit, and Julian had promised to take him to the Smythe family's favorite tailor. After everything that had happened the night before, Kurt had forgotten about it completely. </p><p>"Julian is here," he announces to the others. Finn's eyes brighten, his mind no doubt jumping to pools and barbeques. </p><p>"He wants to go shopping," Kurt amends. </p><p>"Oh. I'm out," Finn says immediately, picking up his controller again. "You guys have fun though."</p><p>"Mmm, shopping...a necessary evil," Sebastian sighs, stretching his arms over his head and rolling his head from side to side, making a soft groaning noise that instantly reminds Kurt of their night. He quickly thinks of fabric choices and inseams to distract himself. </p><p>"Shopping is not an evil, it's a privilege," he reminds Sebastian. "And I believe <em>you</em> wanted me to go, as well."</p><p>"Nah, I just wanted to get you naked in a changing booth," Sebastian says idly. "You know the ones with mirrors on three walls."</p><p>"Um, I'm still here," Finn reminds them. </p><p>Kurt shakes his head in mirth. "I may have never owned a custom-made suit, but I <em>do</em> happen to know they don't take measurements in the nude."</p><p>"You've never been to Fabio's though," Sebastian argues just for the sake of arguing (because he really just needs the last word, always), and Kurt is about to give back (because he needs the last word just as badly), when Julian, clearly having gotten bored after getting no attention for two minutes, starts leaning on the bell. The sound is so annoying that Kurt is up on his feet right away, and he hurries to the door. </p><p>Julian is not dressed for shopping at an Italian couturier- he's wearing flip flops and it looks like he just slipped into yesterday's clothes. He still smells of beach, but also vaguely of cinnamon. His hair is tousled and Kurt thinks - for the very brief moment he allows himself to look down the V-neck of Julian's shirt- that he sees the faint shadow of a love bite over his clavicle. </p><p>"How's Cooper?" he asks, smirking. </p><p>"Still asleep, I exhausted the poor boy," Julian replies smugly. "Left him a note. He might join us later."</p><p>Kurt's smirk softens. "I am happy for you," he offers.</p><p>"Thanks." Julian nods towards the hallway. "What about you and Seb? Everything ok?"</p><p>"I exhausted him too, but he managed to get dressed," Kurt replies lightly, then his face grows serious. "My dad found out about me and Sebastian fake-dating though. He was pretty upset."</p><p>Julian frowns. "Wow, I'm sorry. What happened?"</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. He doesn't want to see the same look on Julian's face that he had seen on Sebastian's after telling him about NYADA. "It doesn't matter. In the end, I managed to convince him that we are <em>really</em> together now."</p><p>The look Julian throws him is so fond it nearly makes Kurt shy, but the very next moment, he ruins it (again). </p><p>"And then you used your headrest as a sounding board to make your dad believe how <em>together</em> you were?" he suggests, using the flat of his palm to slap against the door jamb in rhythmic thrusts, making a concentrated face.</p><p>"<em>No</em>, Julian. If you must know, we were very discreet," Kurt says tersely.</p><p>"Say no more," Julian replies. "My mind can fill in the blanks."</p><p>"I know," Kurt mutters, stepping aside to let him in. "It's <em>how</em> you fill them that worries me."</p><p>*****</p><p>
Their trip to Fabio's turns out to be Kurt's very own <em>Pretty Woman</em> experience. Julian and Sebastian take him to a boutique in Columbus that opened just for them, with several tailors stepping around him, measuring and judging and whispering to each other in what almost seems like a secret code, if Kurt wasn't well versed in tailoring lingo. </p><p>Kurt does not have to undress or even go into a changing booth- they measure him over his clothes, make him try on several mock ups and look at fabrics while Julian chats with the shop assistant and tries on neckerchiefs (as he adjusts his shirt to look at the effect in the mirror, Kurt gets a visual confirmation that it is, indeed, a love bite on his chest) and Sebastian bears Fabio's incessant talk about his love for weddings goodnaturedly (‘<em>I learned to tune that out months ago'</em>). Kurt ends up with a suit he hasn't even dared to imagine for his own wedding, all expenses paid.</p><p>But at the end of the afternoon, no matter how much they try to delay the inevitable, it is time for Kurt to leave for Pennsylvania. He has repacked his things; more primping products, less borrowed clothes- he has packed his most representable outfits so he won't feel underdressed at Olivia's side- and the suit will be sent directly to his hotel when it is finished. </p><p>His suitcase is full, but his heart feels hollow. This will be the first time in weeks that he and Sebastian will be apart. It's only for a few days, but still. It's not even so much the echo of old fears (nine days), because Kurt knows that even with state lines between them, Sebastian won't stray - it's just that he will be missing that newfound familiarity of going to sleep in his presence, of waking up in his arms, sheltered by his warmth, breathing in his scent. </p><p>"I really wish you were coming with me," he says again, looking at Sebastian from the passenger seat of his car as they are parked in the drop-off zone of the airport. </p><p>"I would just slow you down," Sebastian says. "You'd be looking at venues and planning where the selfie box goes, I'd be suggesting dark corners to fuck…"</p><p>Kurt snorts. "And you think telling me this is <em>not</em> going to slow me down?" he asks. "That's all I am going to be thinking about now, thank you very much."</p><p>"Welcome," Sebastian agrees.</p><p>Kurt sighs and lets his head fall against the headrest while he gives Sebastian a fond look. He doesn't mind the lewdness- not anymore, now that it is no longer used to assert his dominance or prowess, or to put Kurt down. He knows it's Sebastian's way of expressing his interest in him, sexually, and also just a simple way of keeping himself and Kurt amused. Kurt wants both of these things: the interest <em>and</em> the feeling that they can laugh about it and not take themselves too seriously. </p><p>"I'll miss you," Kurt whispers. Sebastian reaches out and cups his cheek with his palm. </p><p>"Me too," he admits, running his thumb over Kurt's skin in circles, caressing his cheekbone before resting lightly on the corner of his mouth. </p><p>Kurt lets out a soft sigh, opening his lips a little in quiet longing, and Sebastian's eyes darken. His thumb glides over Kurt's top lip, gathering up the moisture before pressing down a little, slipping between his slack lips. Kurt immediately closes down, sucking the tip of his thumb against his teeth. Sebastian pulls him in then, his hand sliding to the back of Kurt's neck in a firm grip, and he latches his lips against Kurt's, pushing his tongue where his thumb had previously been, demanding entrance. </p><p>Kurt is awkwardly leaning over Sebastian's gear shift but he doesn't care, and he sucks Sebastian's tongue into his mouth, stroking it with his, needing to recapture some of the ways they have already said goodbye last night. Finally, it's the alarm on his phone reminding him of his pending boarding that makes him break the kiss and pull back. </p><p>"I should go," he says reluctantly. </p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian agrees, and it sounds like a ‘no'.</p><p>"I'll send you pictures of the dark corners," Kurt promises, putting his hand on the door handle. He leans in for just one more kiss. And because it went by so quickly, just one more. </p><p>"Send me pictures of <em>you</em>," Sebastian replies in between kisses, and then Kurt makes himself open the door and climb out. He takes his suitcase from the back and then leans in again. </p><p>"Go," Sebastian whispers against his lips, "Liv will kill you if you make her wait."</p><p>"Going," Kurt replies, and makes up for his dallying by starting a dignified little run towards the gates so he doesn't miss his flight. </p><p><em>What's new, Pennsylvania? </em>He hums to himself, <em>stand back, you oughta know whatcha gonna get in me…</em></p><p>
  <em>*****</em>
</p><p>"Kurt, I swear to god, if I have to listen to one more wannabe-designer-slash-farmer telling me that their barn has a ‘rustic charm' and my guests will be amazed by its ‘farm-to-table' concepts, I am going to scream!" Olivia drops herself in the back of the town car they had rented to get from place to place while they looked for wedding venues. Her flair for the dramatic equals Sebastian's in every way.</p><p>Charlotte is at her last mother-of-the-bride outfit fitting with Brian's mother, and it is just the two of them today. While Kurt is frustrated too, it's nothing to what Olivia must be feeling, because she's already seen double the amount of venues.</p><p>He sighs. "I know. When I looked up the concept online and saw it was <em>the</em> wedding trend for this year, I thought they meant barn-<em>like</em> buildings with exposed beams and vintage furniture, maybe a decorational water barrel or some paint-chipped lamps…these were <em>actual </em>barns. I have never seen that many chickens!"</p><p>Olivia grunts in agreement, hikes up her skirt unceremoniously and peels off her shoes, inspecting the soles with a scrunched up face. "This is the third pair of shoes I am never wearing again."</p><p>"I am so sorry I put you through that," Kurt offers, taking down two other addresses from the list on his clipboard. He is feeling tacky and dusty as well. Even though he is from humble American country origins, it's a different kind of dirt that comes from oily machines than from living creatures and hay.</p><p>"Though it wasn't all for nothing," he muses, "I definitely learned a lesson: I am <em>never </em>getting married in a barn, ever."</p><p>"Amen to that," Olivia sighs. "I wish we could have taken that penthouse place. It was perfect."</p><p>"I loved it too, but you can't un-invite guests to a wedding, Liv," Kurt reminds her. "And they won't let over two hundred people up there. It's a safety issue."</p><p>"Maybe we should just send all of mom and dad's country club guests and acquaintances to the barn instead," Olivia suggests brightly. "Can you imagine the lot of them stepping out of their limos into the mud?"</p><p>Kurt snorts. He thinks of the snooty guests at the gala, who had looked down their nose at him and Sebastian dancing. He wouldn't mind at all if they got their heels stuck in cow shit.</p><p>As soon as that happy scenario is played out in her mind, Olivia slumps again. "If only we hadn't invited them. Mom and dad told us that we didn't have to invite their friends if we didn't want to, but with them paying for most of it, Brian and I figured we might as well invite whoever they want- and the venue was big enough anyway. Plus, I like big parties...and getting lots of presents." Her eyes sparkle as she shoots Kurt a mischievous look before growing pensive again. "But now, I really regret it. Un-inviting them, especially those people, would be social suicide."</p><p>"Mmm." Kurt looks at the list of places they set up at the beach house. They have seen so many places already it feels like they've been at it for weeks, when it's only been three days. Time is starting to become a problem.</p><p>"The next one is that restaurant inside the old casino, you know, with the balconies?" Kurt says. Brian had looked it up online and had given it a call, not really expecting them to have an opening but wanting to have tried all of the places that could possibly accommodate their large guest list. To their surprise, they'd had a cancellation and invited them over for a personal look. Kurt gives the driver the address, Olivia slips back into her shoes, and soon they are on their way. </p><p>"Now remember; the man Brian spoke to was adamant that the bride and groom both attend," Kurt reminds Olivia. "So for all intents and purposes, I am going to have to be Brian."</p><p>Olivia snorts. "It's so weird. And they'd find out who the real Brian is at the wedding anyway!"</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "Maybe the last couple cancelled because one of them didn't agree with the place, and they want to make sure that doesn't happen again," he suggests.</p><p>"Well, Brian trusts me," Olivia states, then puts a hand on Kurt's. "I'm so grateful you're doing this, Kurt. And so is Brian. I know he feels awful that he has to work at a time like this."</p><p>"I'm happy to do it," he assures her. "It's been so long. My dad's wedding was almost two years ago and my talents have lain dormant since then. I used to organize a wedding every week!" He winks. "You know, Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles…"</p><p>Olivia laughs, clasping a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. "You married the Ninja Turtles?"</p><p>"Raphael and the Red Ranger really hit it off, it was a cross-species love affair," Kurt says drily. "Their nuptials were epic."</p><p>"Oh my god, you are just as big a nerd as Sebastian," Olivia teases fondly. "You are perfect for each other."</p><p>"I'm not sure I believe in perfect relationships anymore," Kurt says honestly, "but I do really care about him."</p><p>Olivia's smile falters a little as she studies him. Kurt can tell she is hesitating. "What happened that made you so bitter?" she asks. "Was it something Seb did?"</p><p>Kurt does a double take. He hadn't expected her to question her own brother- even if his reputation is questionable. </p><p>"Oh, no! No, not at all. It's just...I used to think me and my ex had the perfect relationship. We liked the same things, we were in the same place <em>emotionally</em>, you know? We shared our first time together and it felt...like it was meant to be. I thought we were going to stay together forever." </p><p>His face hardens and he steels himself for what he has to say next. "Until he told me he was going away for the summer and he didn't think a long-distance relationship was going to work, so he broke up with me pre-emptively and then had sex with someone else nine days after he left- or so I am told."</p><p>Olivia stares at him. "Oh Kurt...I'm so sorry," she offers. "That's awful." Then she frowns. "But...summer? Didn't you start dating Sebastian a lot earlier than that?"</p><p>Kurt swallows, feeling his face heat up. He opens his mouth and sucks in a breath, licks his lips, closes them again. <em>Sebastian is going to hate me</em>, he thinks, before admitting: "Sebastian may have...exaggerated a little when it comes to that. We didn't <em>really </em>start dating until summer."</p><p>Olivia grins. "Wishful thinking, huh?"</p><p>"Please don't tell anyone," he asks her. "It would embarrass him a lot. I agreed with his version of the story because...I thought it was cute." He hates lying to her, but he can't tell her without asking Sebastian. </p><p>"It really is damn cute," Olivia agrees, "my brother, the romantic. That I lived to see the day…" She leaves it at that, seemingly satisfied. </p><p>They arrive at the former casino, Kurt's thoughts still circling around Blaine. It is hard to believe that their story, such as it is, only ended 2 months ago. As he relayed it to Olivia, it had felt like ancient history. It hadn't killed him, but made him stronger- and more bitter, apparently. Then their car comes to a halt and he locks his thoughts away, offering Olivia a smile. "Shall we, my dear?" he says, opening the car door for her.</p><p>"Oh <em>Brian</em>," Olivia replies with a grin, "always such a gentleman." She winks at him and takes his arm. "I could definitely do worse," she teases softly. "Our babies would win all the pageants."</p><p>"They certainly would," Kurt agrees.</p><p>"Olivia! And you must be Brian! You spoke on the phone with my husband, right?" A woman with an expensive-looking blouse and ash blonde hair greets them at the entrance to the restaurant, which is still closed. She holds out her hand to Kurt.</p><p>"I sure did," Kurt lies, shaking her hand with a fake smile on his lips. He purposefully makes his voice sound lower than it is, hoping he sounds manly and mature enough to date a woman seven years his senior. The woman gives him a critical look, but then focuses on Olivia, smiling at her like they are old friends. </p><p>"Do come in, look around - all of this is the original mahogany, installed in the sixties; the balconies are all in perfect shape. Here we have the main dance area…"</p><p>The more they look around, the more Kurt is blown away. The place is incredible; spacious, grand, classy without being stuffy. He veers on the balls of his feet. The wooden floors are springy, but not creaking, like the well-cared floor of a ballet studio. He is already setting up a buffet by the bar in his minds' eye, and before he knows it, he is asking questions about the table settings and the acoustics, and if they possibly have any vintage casino paraphernalia? He can easily see a James Bond-ish theme developing here.</p><p>Meanwhile, Olivia walks around, her eyes automatically drawn up to the beautiful balconies and the electric chandeliers. From the corner of his eye, Kurt can tell she is loving it, and he feels his heart beat rapidly. He looks at her with a soft smile, glad they may have finally saved the wedding.</p><p>"We don't get many men like you over here," the woman notes.</p><p>Kurt freezes and pulls his focus back to her. "Excuse me?" he stumbles.</p><p>"So engaged, so caring. A lot of men just let their future wives do all the planning, you know, like they should be lucky they show up at all on the day. You must really love her."</p><p>"Oh," Kurt breathes out in relief. "Well, uh...yes," he says, looking at his boyfriend's sister, who is spinning slowly on the wooden floor with her eyes closed. He thinks of the way she is with her brothers, of their games at the beach house, of the stories he has heard of their childhood. He thinks about how it was her who took Sebastian away from Julian's self-destructive path, not hesitating to set Julian straight with tough love as well. His heart swells and he lets out a deep sigh. "I do."</p><p>The woman beams at him. "I have a good feeling about this," she states, looking very pleased. "And from the look of the two of you, so do you. Shall we go into my office?"</p><p>"Yes. Um...Liv? Darling?" Kurt adds the last for good measure, though he hopes they'll leave him out of it when they find out he's not the groom. Olivia opens her eyes and Kurt chokes up a little at the dreamy look on her face. She really is in love with this place, and he can't blame her. He'd want to get married here, too.</p><p>Suddenly, the scene in his head changes- less white tulle, more suits, and he wonders what it would be like if he and Sebastian- <em>Kurt, you are playing a straight fiancée here, focus!</em> He tells himself sternly. <em>You can fantasize about your own wedding later. </em>He clears his throat and shakes his head a little as if to clear it.</p><p>Olivia joins them again and takes Kurt's hand, squeezing it excitedly. "I think we got it, babe," she says, and Kurt can't help but think of how the whole Smythe family can just wrap him around their finger with one word. He nods at her, and they follow the owner into the cramped little office to the side of the entrance. <em>If we can get her to clear out her desk, </em>Kurt muses,<em> this could be a good storage for coats.</em></p><p>"Do you want to take it, then?" the woman asks, interrupting his thoughts.</p><p>Kurt looks at Olivia. "We do," she says, and beams at Kurt as the woman starts printing out a contract.</p><p>"I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have such a beautiful couple celebrate with us," the woman says pleasantly. "To be completely honest, our restaurant is facing foreclosure. Not for the quality, of course! But for the costs of keeping up the place. A large, high-profile wedding just might save us. After we cancelled the other one on short notice, I was afraid we were going to have lay off some of our staff-"</p><p>"Well, you actually saved- wait, <em>what</em>?" Kurt cocked his head. "<em>You</em> cancelled, not them?"</p><p>"Yes! Oh gosh, didn't my husband tell you?" the woman says, her eyes wide. </p><p>"No, he didn't," Olivia says. "What happened?"</p><p>"Well," the woman starts, and it looks like she's settling down for a longer story, "they booked over a year ago. The bride-to-be contacted me. Her name was Debbie. Lovely girl, very organized. Knew exactly what she wanted, from seating to menus to napkins. And every time I asked if this was maybe something her fiancée should have a say in, she was like ‘oh, I know exactly what Lou likes' or ‘Lou is away on business but we talked it over on the phone'. And I guessed this was one of those cases I told you about, Brian-" She nods at Kurt, "where the husband contributes nothing and lets the wife do all the leg-work."</p><p>Kurt shrugs uncomfortably. Brian was letting Olivia do most of the leg-work too, but not because he didn't care. He did find this place for them, after all. </p><p>"But then a couple of weeks ago, I finally got to meet this Lou...turns out-" The woman gazes at the two of them with an intense look in her eyes. "Lou was short for <em>Louise</em>!"</p><p>"O-kay?" Kurt says questioningly.</p><p>"She was <em>a woman</em>!" the woman clarifies.</p><p>"Yes?" Olivia prompts, though she's narrowing her eyes suspiciously. Kurt feels his stomach sink as he, too, can guess where this is going.</p><p>"They were <em>lesbians</em>!" The woman throws her hands up in the air.</p><p>"You cancelled their wedding venue at the last moment <em>because they were lesbians</em>!?" Kurt lets out, his voice rising at the end until he almost reaches what Sebastian once referred to as ‘Mickey Mouse pitch'.</p><p>"Of course I did!" the woman replies, looking scandalized. "We're a family business, Brian. My kids help out waiting tables. I can't expose them to that!"</p><p>"I'd be more worried about them being exposed to <em>you</em>," Olivia says icily, and rises from her chair. "I think we're done here."</p><p>"Are you sure?" Kurt asks, knowing it's the right thing to do but, dammit, they had just found this venue and his heart is still clutching to the Casino Royale theme.</p><p>Olivia gives him a firm nod, so he gathers up his folder and rises from his chair too.</p><p>"I beg your pardon," the woman says, "but what is going on here? Do you want to rent the place or not?"</p><p>"I'd rather get married in a pig sty than sponsor a homophobe," Olivia spits. </p><p>"Excuse me, I'm not a homophobe!" the woman splutters. "I think it's <em>fine</em> if they want to get married. I just don't see why it has to be in <em>my</em> restaurant-"</p><p>"Or shop in your store, or come to your pool, drink from your water fountain?" Kurt muses. </p><p>"Come on, Kurt, this is pointless," Olivia says, and starts towards the door.</p><p>
  <em>"Kurt?"</em>
</p><p>At the confused look on the woman's face, Kurt presses his lips together and straightens his back. </p><p>"Yes, my name is <em>Kurt,</em> not Brian. I'm Olivia and Brian's <em>gay wedding planner</em>. Sorry not sorry." He cocks his head and offers her an angelic smile and a limp-wristed finger wriggle salute. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head, and he quickly hurries after Olivia. </p><p>She doesn't stop walking until they reach the parking lot. There, out of sight from the restaurant, she spins around to face him. She has tears in her eyes and her hands are balled to fists. </p><p>"Why, Kurt? WHY? It's not fair! Just as I thought we'd finally found the place…the perfect place!"</p><p>"I know," Kurt offers, but Olivia is not listening. She is shaking her head to herself, her fiery green eyes roving the pavement restlessly. Her arms are rigid, her knees locked and her jaw clenched. She looks like a tiny ball of white-hot anger, ready to jump out of her skin. </p><p>"Why are people like this?" she lets out, followed by a scream of frustration. With a helpless grunt, she kicks the tire of their car hard, and then hisses in pain. It suddenly reminds Kurt so much of Sebastian it shoots a bolt of homesickness through him. A few people on the other side of the street look their way. Kurt glares at them until they look away and start walking again, pretending to mind their own business. </p><p>He carefully approaches Olivia, but doesn't dare touch her yet. (Sebastian wouldn't want that either.) "I don't know," he offers. "I feel so bad for Debbie and Lou. I hope they found something else." He lets out a deep sigh. "I feel bad for us, too."</p><p>Olivia bites her lip, the anger bleeding out a little. "Me too, but I just couldn't. I need to stand by my brothers- that includes you- and the only way to make these people feel it is in their wallets." She twists her lips and raises her voice again. "I hope they go fucking bankrupt!!" she yells towards the restaurant, though it's doubtful the owner can hear them.</p><p>"Me too," Kurt agrees. He considers their options. They have to go on. Time is running out. He looks down on his folder. Olivia starts shaking her head.</p><p>"I can't," she whispers. "I can't, Kurt. I give up. I'm done." She shrugs helplessly, all the tension seeping from her posture. "Maybe we should reconsider that industrial place with the steel wall...I know you said it was too gloomy but at least they were friendly…" She wracks out a sob. </p><p>Kurt shakes his head. He had promised her an A-location, no compromises. "We'll find a better place," he says.</p><p>"No, we won't!" Olivia says loudly, some of her previous anger returning, but this time directed at Kurt. </p><p>"You keep saying that, but it's too late, Kurt! It's TOO LATE! Everywhere is booked, and we have to cancel everything. Or maybe we should just get married at a fucking Chuck-e-Cheese, I don't even care anymore!" </p><p>She covers her face with her hands, and Kurt approaches her now, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame. She is short enough for him to rest his chin on her head, and he kisses the top of her hair, making a gentle shushing sound. </p><p>Olivia sniffles, her shoulders shaking a little, and Kurt just holds her, giving her time. </p><p>"You smell like Seb," she finally whispers, pulling back a little. Kurt blushes.</p><p>"He finished my body wash at the beach house so I stole his cologne to retaliate," he admits, then pauses. "And it...makes me miss him a little less."</p><p>Olivia smiles back, tears still glistening in her eyes. "I take it back," she whispers. "You're not bitter. That is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard."</p><p>Kurt smiles bashfully. Then his mind returns to the task at hand. "I have one more place on the list for today," he says carefully. "It's not far from here. Let's go see it."</p><p>Olivia sighs. "I want to call Brian first." She sounds exhausted, but at least she's no longer as angry.</p><p>"Or we could go there tomorrow?" Kurt offers. </p><p>Olivia shakes her head. "No, the sooner we find something, the better. I just...need a moment."</p><p>"Why don't you get in the car and I'll wait out here for a bit," Kurt offers. He holds up his phone. "I'll just send my boyfriend some eggplant emojis." He winks at her, and a smile returns on Olivia's face.</p><p>"He'll love that," she replies. </p><p>A couple of minutes later she rolls down the window and asks him to come in. She looks like she's been crying some more, but she's smiling. </p><p>"So. Tell me about the next place," she says, and the way she does it reminds Kurt of when he tries to distract himself from the things he cannot control. </p><p>"Okay," he agrees, putting his phone away. He had really been texting Sebastian, who is hanging out with Julian for the day, and because he knows that, he had refrained from any inappropriate emojis and just asked how their work was doing. Sebastian wrote ‘<strong>hotter than the fires of hell</strong>'. Kurt hopes that isn't code for anything, but he'll have to wait until he is back at his hotel room to ask. He looks down on his folder.</p><p>"It's called Beeblossom Brook, a country house, apparently," Kurt reads off his list. "There wasn't a picture, just a mention. They didn't reply to my email but we might get lucky?"</p><p>"God, I hope ‘country house' doesn't mean another chicken farm," Olivia says. She glances at her shoes and looks up at Kurt. "Fuck it. A bit more <em>country </em>won't make these any worse than they already are. And who knows, this last one today may just be the perfect place. It sounds romantic, anyway!"</p><p>"That's the spirit," Kurt encourages her.</p><p>"It better not have actual <em>bees</em> or we need to include epipens with the wedding favors," Olivia adds quietly, but she can't repress an excited little smile as Kurt gives their driver the new address and the car sets in motion. She reaches out for Kurt's hand and squeezes it.</p><p>"Thank you for not making fun of my dramatics," she offers softly. "My brothers would have."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. Her brothers worship her, and also- "Your brothers are way too intimidated by you to make fun of you at a time like this," he says honestly.</p><p>Finally, Olivia laughs with her entire face again. "You're right!" she agrees, and suddenly, everything looks brighter again. "Beeblossom Brook," she repeats to herself. "Maybe this will be the one, Kurt!"</p><p>*****</p><p>"...or not."</p><p>The two of them have stepped out of the car and are standing in front of a small cottage home, its thatched roof overgrown with weeds, white plastering peeling off to reveal mottled grey brickwork underneath. There's a large ‘for sale' sign on a post in front of the driveway. </p><p>"Let's just go," Olivia says, sounding defeated. "Even if this place was open for business and not a complete wreck, it'd never be big enough for all of our guests."</p><p>Kurt is standing rooted to the spot, looking at the house through narrowed eyes. It doesn't make sense. His research had been thorough, and the recommendation had come from a reliable source. There <em>has</em> to be something about this place that made it worthwhile… He studies the large ivy-grown fence to the side of the house and then sees it. </p><p>A small plaque, almost overgrown, reading ‘Beeblossom Brooke no 1'. </p><p>"That's not the actual place," he said, nodding at the derelict little house. "<em>This</em> is!" He walks up to the hedge by the sign, pulls away at some strands of ivy and reveals a wrought iron gate in the fence. </p><p>Olivia gasps. "How <em>Secret Garden</em>!" she lets out. "Can we go in?" </p><p>Kurt shrugs. "Let's just do it." He tries the handle, and with a loud creak, it opens. They step through the fence and for a moment, forget to breathe. Trellises of blossoming creeper roses form a natural archway, so thick and lush it is almost a tunnel, luring them in towards an open green space beyond. As if drawn in by magic, they step through.</p><p>In front of them lies one of the most beautiful garden landscapes Kurt has ever seen. There's a large expanse of lawn skirted by a row of trees on one side, the leaves already turning a gorgeous range of pale yellows and soft orange, and on the other side, towards the back of the cottage, flowering bushes of whites and soft pink. In the far back, tall tufted grass hints at a waterside - possibly the brook that gives the cottage its name. Beyond that, there's pastures and trees as far as the eye can see. </p><p>"It's amazing," Kurt whispers, awestruck.</p><p>"It's a beautiful garden," Olivia agrees hesitantly, "but...it's all just grass. There's nothing here, not even a path."</p><p>"<em>Yet,</em>" Kurt says, smiling. His mind is working at full speed. With a nearly unlimited budget and enough manpower, they could add infrastructure - it takes years to grow arches and trees like this, but only days to lay a path. </p><p>"So maybe the owners didn't reply because the place is for sale," he muses, "but what if we call the real estate agent instead? Maybe they could cut us a deal."</p><p>"You mean <em>buying </em>the ugly old cottage?" Olivia asks.</p><p>Kurt quickly shakes his head. "No, I doubt we'd need to go that far. But if we found a good team to fix the entrance and the garden up temporarily, at our costs, they would get excellent photos to use for pushing a sale- what better advertisement for a plot than a fairytale wedding? One that everyone who is<em> anyone</em> in this area is invited to?"</p><p>"Do you think that could work?" </p><p>Kurt shrugs. "We don't know until we try." He looks around some more, seeing the entire place develop in front of his eyes, like he is adding a layer over it, creating a before/after picture in his head. </p><p>"Liv, do you see that tree?" He points at a large white oak towering over the others. Its lowest boughs are high enough to walk under. "Can you imagine how it would look if we put up a canopy by the stem? With long tresses of flowers hanging from the side… and rows of chairs in a semi-circle all facing the tree- it's almost like a roof, an outside church made of green. That is where you will exchange vows."</p><p>"Oh my god," Olivia whispers. "That's amazing."</p><p>"And over there," Kurt points over the lawn, "A large gazebo with a dance floor and room for the band. A row of lanterns or fairy lights by the waterside, creating a little promenade...We'd have to check if the facilities inside the cottage would be enough for all of the guests because I don't really know how port-a-potties would fit into the theme…"</p><p>Olivia snorts. Then she beams at Kurt. "I love it. But what if it rains?"</p><p>Kurt casts his eyes around the area. "We'd need to check out the rental possibilities here, but I have seen pop-up tents online that are basically transparent and wouldn't interfere with the landscape much. It's bugs I'm more worried about, near the water. Maybe we can get the area treated beforehand. And definitely invest in specialized first-aid kits."</p><p>"Right, right," Olivia says pensively. "Oh, Kurt, please don't make me love this place only for them to turn us down…"</p><p>"We simply won't take no for an answer," he says decisively. "I always got our Glee club sponsors on the road, I'm sure I can talk us into this Secret Garden party as well."</p><p>Olivia squeaks excitedly. "I have to call Brian again!" she says, and the both of them pull out their phones. Kurt really hopes he can make this happen- he simply <em>has</em> to.</p><p>*****</p><p>Hours later, Kurt returns to his hotel room, exhausted, but happy. He needs a shower and a change of clothes, and definitely some kind of meal that is more nutritious than a granola bar and a cup of coffee-to-go, but all of that can wait. He finds that what he wants to do most of all is to tell Sebastian about his day. The thought already makes him a little giddy inside.</p><p>He takes off his shoes, puts his phone on the sideboard in hands-free, and lets it dial his boyfriend's number. He doesn't need to wait long - Sebastian picks up right away. </p><p>"How did it go with the realtor? Did you get it?" he asks before Kurt can even say hello and he smiles. For all of Sebastian's posturing, it's clear that he really does care about his sister and this wedding. </p><p>Kurt had been so excited about the Brook that he'd spent the short drive back into town texting picture after picture to Sebastian and telling him eagerly about his ideas. Sebastian had listened patiently and replied with enthusiasm.</p><p>The meeting with the realtor took a while, and Kurt switched his phone off for the duration - when he switched it back on in the car back to the hotel, he'd had thirteen message notifications from Sebastian. He'd not replied to any yet however, wanting to talk to him in person.</p><p>"We did!" Kurt squeaks excitedly, hopping up and down on socked feet. He takes off his jacket and turns to the speaker again. "As it turned out, the owner is a widower who moved to a retirement home recently - so that's why we couldn't reach him. The real estate agent was a darling, though- Michelle, a real classy lady. She came over right away and was really enthusiastic about our plans. The owner's family really wants to get rid of the place so anything will help, and having professional pictures and the Smythe/Wilton names attached to it as a venue may really help sell it. And once I spotted her engagement ring, all I had to do was talk her through her own wedding plans and then we were set, basically."</p><p>On the other side, he hears Sebastian chuckle. "Don't tell me you helped plan <em>another</em> wedding?" he teases, and Kurt can hear the lilt in his voice, imagines that quirky curl on the side of his mouth, lips pressed thinly, eyes sparkling in challenge. Kurt picks up the phone (taking it off speaker) and cocks his head.</p><p>"It's all good practise for when I get to plan my own," he says lightly, then lets out a dramatically loud sigh. "Sadly...no one has asked me yet." He waits with bated breath, pressing the phone to his ear.</p><p>"I'm sure your day will come," Sebastian replies, "if you actually let someone get a word in."</p><p>"Shut up!" Kurt gasps, though he is grinning and blushing at the same time. "Anyway, turns out Michelle has 8 nieces and nephews so for her wedding, I suggested an Alpine theme and dressing the kids up as the Von Trapp family to sing, and she loved it. After that, every time she seemed doubtful about something we suggested, I subtly hummed the <em>Do Re Me </em>tune and she was like putty in my hands. She agreed with everything."</p><p>"Subtle, huh?" </p><p>"I can be subtle," Kurt reminds him as he pulls his belt out of its loops and checks himself out in the mirror of his hotel closet. </p><p>"<em>Really?</em> Maybe you can show me some day," Sebastian replies.</p><p>Kurt<em> tsk-s</em> and he can hear Sebastian chuckle at his own joke. It makes him want to jump through the phone just to punch him, and then kiss it better. "Do you want to hear the rest or not?" he asks, sticking out his tongue to his own reflection.</p><p>"I do," Sebastian replies, and he sounds genuine enough for Kurt to believe him. </p><p>"Okay," he agrees, and puts his phone on hands-free again to unbutton his shirt and pull it free from his waistband. "After we completed our tour of the outside premises, we went into the cottage…" He starts telling Sebastian about the facilities, the tiled floors and the wooden beams while he fusses with his cuffs. Before he can gush on about the terracotta baking trays he spotted in the kitchen, Sebastian interrupts him.</p><p>"What are you doing?" he asks.</p><p>"What do you mean? I am telling you about the venue!" Kurt replies.</p><p>"Yes, obviously, but what are you <em>doing?</em> What's that rustling noise?"</p><p>Kurt stops and looks at himself in the mirror as if to check. "I am getting ready for my shower," he says sheepishly.</p><p>"You're <em>stripping</em>?" Sebastian lets out incredulously. </p><p>"I'm not stripping, I'm undressing," Kurt corrects him. </p><p>"Same difference. Put video chat on!"</p><p>Kurt blinks twice and quickly gathers up his phone in his hand, pressing it to his ear. "What? <em>Here</em>?" he asks, his voice rising an octave.</p><p>"Why not?" Sebastian says. "You're alone, aren't you?"</p><p>"I am, but…" Kurt looks around his empty hotel room, a little lost for words. Then he thinks about where Sebastian is. "Are <em>you</em>? Julian's not there, is he?"</p><p>"Of course he's not!" Sebastian protests. "Kurt, <em>really</em>? I wouldn't do that, don't you trust me?"</p><p>Kurt hesitates- only for a few seconds, but it's enough of a pause to be audible, and before he can apologize, Sebastian cuts in. </p><p>"You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable," he says. "It was a dumb idea. Spur of the moment. I just thought...I like looking at you, and-" He pauses too. "I miss you, babe."</p><p>Kurt breathes in sharply. "I miss you, too," he admits. "I'm sorry-"</p><p>"No, it's alright," Sebastian says, but it's one of those ‘alrights' that Kurt has used too many times himself, and he can tell a fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude even over the phone. He has somehow hurt his boyfriend with the assumption he couldn't be trusted, and he needs to set it right.</p><p>"It's not. I <em>am</em> sorry, Bas. I trust you. It just startled me a little. It's actually...a rather sexy idea." He bites his lip. Should he do it?</p><p>"You really don't <em>have</em> to," Sebastian assures him. "Sometimes I don't think before I speak."</p><p>"Oh, only sometimes?" Kurt teases gently, then makes up his mind. "I'll do it if you will, too."</p><p>"You mean strip?" Sebastian pauses. "What if I am already naked?"</p><p>Kurt goes wide-eyed. Suddenly visions of Sebastian appear in his mind, lounging on his bed, phone in hand, patches of white and tanned skin against the sheets, his other hand ghosting down over his abdomen, following the trail of freckles to his hips...</p><p>"Are you?" </p><p>Kurt hears that chuckle again and his shoulders drop, the vision popping like a soap bubble.</p><p>"Nah. I was at the workshop with Julian all day and I intended to go up and take a shower, but then I got distracted and ended up reading an old magazine."</p><p>"Oh, what magazine?" Kurt asks, perking up a little.</p><p>"Does it matter? I want to see you strip," Sebastian insists, and he sounds a little petulant. "Don't change the subject now."</p><p>Kurt presses his lips into a sly smile. "Tell me what distracted you, and I will," he says.</p><p>"You realize I can just tell you anything, right?"</p><p>"No, you can't, because you're switching to video too," Kurt reminds him, and then he waits. </p><p>The rectangle that showed Sebastian's caller ID picture before goes dark and then comes to life. The image shakes for a moment, Kurt catches a glimpse of a bed sheet, long, denim-clad legs with bare feet and then he sees Sebastian's face looking into the camera. </p><p>"Hi," Sebastian says, grinning lopsidedly. There's a smear of dirt on his cheek and his hair is messy. He's wearing denim overalls, straps loose and slipping, with a tank top underneath. He hasn't shaved in a few days. Kurt guesses three. To him, Sebastian looks like what calendar photographers <em>think</em> a mechanic looks like. (Kurt knows the actual mechanics in his dad's shop never looked like that but he's well aware of the fantasy). </p><p>"Hi," Kurt says, unrelentingly keeping his camera still switched off. His eyes rove over his boyfriend's face, shoulders, taking in everything he can see from the camera's angle. He hasn't expected missing him this soon, but he does. "Show me," he demands.</p><p>"Bossy, aren't you?" Sebastian mumbles fondly, then holds up an old issue of <em>Tiger Beat.</em> Kurt barks out a laugh. </p><p>"You have a whole room full of high-brow literature, plays and novels and <em>that's</em> what you read?" he lets out, and he can see Sebastian roll his eyes. </p><p>"Yes. It's entertaining." Sebastian schools his face into a smolder and quirks an eyebrow. "But I'm sure you can do a better job of entertaining me..."</p><p>Kurt feels his heart rise in his throat, and with a shaky hand, he taps the video call symbol. He can see the small feed switch on to show his face. Sebastian goes quiet. Kurt smiles a little shakily, then squares his shoulders. He's not a junior anymore. He can be sexy if he wants- and he can give his boyfriend a little show. With that thought in mind, his posture changes, and as he sets his phone down on the nightstand, he is ready. It feels a bit like he is stepping onto a stage, but maybe that really is what it is: a performance. </p><p>Looking straight at the camera, he rolls his shoulders back and lets the shirt slide down his arms. It drops to the floor and he is left in his skinny jeans and undershirt. He teases it out of his jeans and stops. </p><p>Sebastian has sat up against the headboard of his bed, and when he notices that Kurt is waiting, he quickly slips his arms out of his overall straps and takes the hem of his top in his hands, as if to show he is ready for a <em>quid pro quo</em> situation. The logo on his shirt is almost faded (another obscure French band) and there's a frayed tear at the side seam coming from his armpit - clearly this shirt is something Sebastian has put on not expecting anyone but Julian to see it - and Kurt smiles. It adds to the mechanic fantasy, which is a big plus, but it also assures him that Sebastian has really been out doing what he said he had been doing.</p><p><em>I do trust him, </em>Kurt reminds himself. <em>If that's what he said he did, it's what he did.</em> He nods at the camera to show his approval. He reaches up and pulls his undershirt over his head, sucking in his stomach a little at the same time. As the shirt falls to the floor, he lifts his chin, resisting the urge to wrap his arms around himself. Instead, he puts a hand on his waist and juts out a hip. </p><p>Sebastian is shirtless already (when did that happen?) and his eyes are glued to the screen. He clearly likes what he sees, and it gives Kurt the confidence to go on. With a small smile on his lips and his heart hammering in his chest, Kurt turns his back on the camera and reaches for his fly. With a coy look over his shoulder, he slowly opens his jeans and starts peeling them down his legs while he sways his hips.</p><p>"Oh god, Kurt," Sebastian groans as Kurt manages to work them down his thighs, displaying seamless fire-engine red briefs that fit him like a second skin. "This is torture."</p><p>Kurt turns around and looks at the screen. Sebastian is sitting on his bed in his boxers, looking more than a little frustrated. </p><p>"<em>You</em> suggested it," he reminds his boyfriend.</p><p>"I know," Sebastian agrees, "but that was before I knew what you were wearing. <em>This</em> is how you dress when you spend the night alone in a hotel room?"</p><p>"I get dressed for <em>myself</em>," Kurt says pointedly, but he's very pleased at Sebastian's reaction. He eyes the open door to the bathroom and hesitates. "I probably shouldn't take my phone into the bath," he says, nodding at the door. "I still have over six months on this lease."</p><p>"Then…stay here a little," Sebastian suggests, his voice a little hoarse. "We could...keep each other company."</p><p>Kurt swallows. He gets what Sebastian is hinting at, and he can feel a blush rising on the back of his neck. With one more look at the hotel room door (he did put the do-not-disturb sign on it, didn't he?) he decides to climb onto his bed as well. It is soft, immaculate and sumptuous (perks of having a cleaning crew come round every morning), and it feels a little illegal to sit on top of the pristine covers almost naked and attempt what they are about to do. To push these thoughts out of his mind, Kurt focuses on Sebastian. He is looking a little expectantly; but expecting <em>what</em>? </p><p>"Should I…?" Kurt starts, then breaks off. "Do we...What now?" His voice rises at a very unfortunate moment, making him sound squeaky and childish, and he winces. </p><p>Sebastian grins. "I don't know, what do you want? Shall I put on some music?" He reaches for a remote control and a nondescript background song starts playing. </p><p>Kurt is too jittery to recognise it. Should he do something, say something sexy? Needless to say he has never been in such a situation before- he and Blaine had been fused at the hip since getting together, and Blaine had passed up on the opportunity to try this long-distance by breaking up with him before leaving. </p><p>That thought makes Kurt determined to do this right, though it also ups the pressure. Did Blaine break up with him because he didn't think Kurt would be good at this, that it wouldn't be satisfying enough? Can you do it wrong? What exactly should he be aiming his camera at, anyway?</p><p>Sebastian is holding his phone in his lap, giving Kurt the point of view as if he is looking up at him. Kurt lowers his hand, trying to find the same angle. The small mirror image of himself is distracting- he wants to look at his boyfriend, but seeing himself and his naked chest against the unfamiliar hotel background is weird. Immediately, he is reminded of hotel room porn- though their rooms are usually not as lush as this. Sebastian's backdrop is a room he knows, but that doesn't make it much better - because it is at his parents' house, <em>and his bedroom does not have a dnd sign and what if someone walks in? </em></p><p>Kurt shifts on the bed and involuntarily glances at the door again. When he looks back at the screen, Sebastian holds his boxers up in his hand with a leery grin. Kurt's stomach drops, and something must have shown on his face, because Sebastian immediately lowers his underwear and loses the grin.</p><p>"Kurt, are you okay?" he asks. His camera image moves as he raises his hand to hold his phone up to his face. He is frowning a little, though he looks more concerned than angry. Kurt looks into his eyes and feels like he is falling. He sighs deeply, feeling the weight of his thoughts and his own disappointment press down on him. </p><p>"I'm not sure I can do this," he admits. "I keep seeing myself, and it's so weird-"</p><p>"Do you just wanna go shower?" Sebastian suggests immediately. </p><p>"No. I want…" Kurt breaks off, exasperated with himself. "I don't know. I miss you, too, and I want...this, with you, I'm just not sure if I can film myself…"</p><p>"Okay," Sebastian says, "then let's switch off the cameras. It'll be like a phone call. You and Blaine talked on the phone before bed all the time, right?"</p><p>"Yeah, but that was-" Kurt starts, but then realizes Sebastian is teasing, hinting at the first time they met. He considers it. </p><p>"Okay," he finally agrees, and taps his finger on the screen. It goes black, and he cradles the phone to his ear. "Are you still here?"</p><p>"I'm here," Sebastian says, his voice low and calm in his ear. "I got you. I can talk us through, if you want."</p><p>"Have you done this before?" Kurt asks. Sebastian sounds very sure of himself.</p><p>"Not with anyone who mattered," Sebastian replies, "but...yes. Does that bother you?"</p><p>Kurt scoffs. "At least one of us will know what they're doing," he says drily. </p><p>"You'll know what to do," Sebastian says confidently. "Just relax. Lay back on the bed."</p><p>Kurt lets out a deep breath, and follows Sebastian's instructions. The sheets are briefly cold on his naked back, but before he can make up his mind to crawl under the sheets, Sebastian continues. </p><p>"Do you remember that time at the pool, Julian's party? When you skipped the bodyshots queue and gave our guests the most pornographic display the game had ever seen?"</p><p>"Mmm." Kurt remembers that (quite frequently, in fact). "I do." He closes his eyes and thinks back of that night, letting the memory resurface. Sebastian's beautiful tanned body laid out for him, the feel of him trembling under his lips.</p><p>"God, Kurt, your tongue," Sebastian whispers, "I wanted it everywhere at once. I didn't care who was watching. I wanted you so badly, and I couldn't have you, not there, it nearly drove me crazy. When you licked my abs...I nearly tore the handles off that seat to keep myself from grabbing your head and pushing it down. And you <em>knew</em> it."</p><p>"Yes, I did," Kurt replies, and there is nothing squeaky about his voice now. It is low and rough, laced with lust. He licks his lips, imagining he can taste the salt on Sebastian's skin, the alcohol pooled in his bellybutton, and the sour, tangy taste of the juice on Sebastian's lips. He had been magnificent, so incredibly wound up; it had made Kurt feel like the most powerful man on earth. "I did everything I could think of to make it as hard as possible for you."</p><p>"Oh, it was definitely hard!" Sebastian laughs. "Fuck."</p><p>"I could tell."</p><p>Sebastian is quiet for a moment. "Do you remember what you said to me afterwards?" he asks. "You said-"</p><p>"<em>Next time it's your turn to lick me</em>," Kurt whispers, his face burning. It had been the alcohol talking, the jealousy, borrowed courage. That, and knowing that Sebastian wanted him- the most heady feeling of all.</p><p>"I wish I could do that now, Kurt," Sebastian continues. "I wish I could kiss your lips-" </p><p>Kurt sighs deeply, frowning in concentration. </p><p>"And your neck - you're so sensitive there." </p><p>The hotel room is spinning underneath him, ceasing to exist. There's only Sebastian's voice now, in the fantasy behind his eyelids, and Kurt's fingers involuntarily roam over his chest up to his throat, brushing it with a soft pressure, thinking of the times Sebastian has kissed him there, at the beach house, in the sand, and later, on the soft mattress. </p><p>"I'd lick down your pecs, bury my face against them and feel your heartbeat, feel it skip when I suck your nipples into my mouth one after the other-"</p><p>Kurt sucks in a hard breath. He wants to shy away from the words, which feel a little crude and explicit now that he's not drunk, but he also wants more- his fingers are already teasing himself, rubbing roughly over his chest. He brings them to his lips and quickly sucks two into his mouth, wetting them before returning to his chest. When he rolls himself between his fingers, he lets out a breath in a short gasp and hears something of a moan and a smacking of lips on the other side. He wonders if Sebastian is actually licking something, his finger or his knuckle or the inside of his wrist, and thinking of him hard. "Yes," Kurt whispers softly, like a secret admission. "Go on."</p><p>He hears Sebastian sigh deeply, and the line rustles like he's shifting on the sheets. "I'd follow your ribs down to your abs- not too much pressure or you'd laugh because you are <em>crazy</em> ticklish and I won't risk you kicking me off the bed!" His voice is light now, playful, and Kurt chuckles. </p><p>"I am and I would," he agrees, and briefly tickles his own ribs, snorting a little. </p><p>"Oh, your abs, Kurt," Sebastian continues, his voice growing deeper again. "They are perfect. I want to trace them with my tongue, map them out with my lips. I want to lie my head down on them and just watch you <em>grow </em>in those sinful red briefs<em>..</em>.I want <em>to </em>kiss and lick you <em>just</em> out of reach like you did to me and then I'd wait for your cock to come to <em>me</em>."</p><p>Kurt groans and presses a flat palm down on his belly, imagining the weight of Sebastian's head on it. He automatically rounds his back to lift his hips up, tightening his buttocks to thrust up to his imaginary lover's face. "Oh god," he whispers, "I am so hard."</p><p>"Me too," Sebastian admits. "I am touching myself thinking of you, the things I want to do to your body…" He sighs deeply and Kurt strains to hear more. He wants to hear every small breath, every intimate gasp. </p><p>"Tell me," he whispers, his hand ghosting down into his briefs, curling around his erection. He is rock-hard, and the thought of all of this happening just from the sound of his boyfriend's voice in the evening light makes it even more exciting. </p><p>"I want to suck you off," Sebastian says, the longing in his voice evident. "I had a taste last week and now it's all I can think about. I want all of you, Kurt, I want to swallow you whole. I want you to fuck my mouth...Use me, let me give you pleasure."</p><p>Kurt whimpers helplessly and squeezes his eyes tightly shut, his hand nearly cramping around his phone, and suddenly, one hand on his dick isn't enough anymore. He puts his phone on hands-free again and uses both hands to roll his underwear down. When he's naked, he takes hold of himself with a firm grip, letting his other hand roam over his body, tweaking, scratching softly. He remembers what it feels like to be inside of Sebastian's mouth, to have his skilled tongue lave at him, his throat muscles working to swallow around him, and it's all he can do to pace himself. He wants to give a little too, to make it last until he knows Sebastian is there as well and is not just providing a fantasy for Kurt to jack off to. </p><p>He presses his cheek against the mattress close to his phone as if to get closer to Sebastian that way. "You have no idea how much I want that," he says hoarsely. "I have never felt like this with anyone, I was always too careful, too reserved to admit what I <em>really </em>wanted. You have freed me. Bas, you have no idea what you've unleashed inside of me. I didn't even know I could feel like this. And now I just want you all the time. I want everything with you."</p><p>He can hear Sebastian groan, and he imagines he can hear the friction of skin on skin, a soft slapping sound paired with sighs and gasps. He listens breathlessly, speeding up his own hand on himself, and then he continues: "I want to be inside of you, I want you to make me explode - and then I want your tongue, your fingers, your cock inside of <em>me</em>, splitting me open, pushing me over the edge of what I think I can handle, showing me no mercy-"</p><p>"Kurt, my god," Sebastian growls roughly, and Kurt briefly falters, thinking he has gone too far. He bites his lip hard, waiting.</p><p>"I will do all of this and more when I see you again, make no mistake," Sebastian threatens, but the tremble in his voice reassures Kurt that they're okay, that it is really just passion and need and the blind agony of being apart when all they want is to be close, closer, <em>inside</em>.</p><p>"I'm counting on it," Kurt agrees, and then he needs to stop talking because his orgasm is building and it is cutting off all power to his brain. He focuses on moving and breathing, his hips jerking of their own accord. "Bas…" he strangles out, and then it keeps coming and he can't hold off anymore, and his body shudders in release. He vaguely hears a groan on the other side of the line and then nothing for a while- everything is blocked out by the loud, thumping drum of his own heartbeat. </p><p>Kurt is breathing hard. He lets his hand, wet and sticky, drop onto the mattress, all shyness about its thread count forgotten. He's pretty sure he has sweated through it on his back anyway. He stretches, and nearly pushes his phone off the bed with his shoulder. He grapples for it- thankfully already lucid enough to use his other hand- and brings it up to his ear.</p><p>"Are you still there?" he asks quietly.</p><p>"I'm here," Sebastian says, slightly out of breath. "Minus the lamp on my nightstand that I accidentally kicked over."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "What happened?"</p><p>"You," Sebastian says simply. "You and your goddamn mouth, I nearly had a fit." He pauses for a moment. "Did you really mean it?" he asks, sounding almost timid now.</p><p>"Mean what?" Kurt asks. "That I want you to fuck me? I thought that was clea-"</p><p>"No," Sebastian cuts him off sharply. "I already knew <em>that</em>, you were quite clear about that at Julian's party. The part...that you- never felt like this before."</p><p>"Oh." Kurt lets out a short huff of breath. "Yes, I meant that." He pauses as well. "Sometimes it feels like I wasn't really alive before you. I mean, of course I <em>lived</em>, but-"</p><p>"Me too," Sebastian says softly, and for a moment, they are both too stunned to say anything. It all feels deeper than this, like more than sex talk on the phone; like they have admitted some kind of secret. </p><p>"That's good," Kurt says lamely, fatigue suddenly catching up with him. "That we both feel it, I mean. It would suck if it was just me" (<em>again</em>, his mind adds, and he tries not to think about the past too much, not now). </p><p>"It's not just you," Sebastian confirms again for good measure. "I think you've ruined me for anyone else for good."</p><p>Kurt chuckles. "I'm glad." Then, he yawns. "I should really take that shower now," he says. "In the morning, we need to be at the cottage to show the construction workers around."</p><p>"Sure thing. Do you wanna call again tomorrow?" Sebastian asks.</p><p>Kurt glances down his body and the ruined sheets. "Yes, definitely," he says.</p><p>"Goodnight, Kurt."</p><p>"Goodnight, Sebastian." Kurt cradles the phone to his face and closes his eyes. There is something on his bucket list about phone sex, but he doubts he'll remember to take it down in the morning. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Next Gen KB Authors; you’re doing amazing, sweeties.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt shifts his weight from one foot to the other impatiently, stretching his neck to look over the gathering of people waiting at the arrivals gate. According to the arrivals board, Sebastian and Julian's flight landed five minutes ago and as neither of them are bringing much more than a carry-on bag (the rest of their luggage for the wedding, including their custom made suits, have already been sent up ahead to the hotel), he's expecting to see them any second.</p><p>Butterflies whirl up inside of him at the thought that this is going to be the first time he sees his boyfriend in almost a week. He hadn't expected to miss him <em>this much,</em> but going from two solid weeks of being in each other's company all day, every day, to suddenly <em>not</em>…well it feels a little as though Kurt is missing his right arm. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, they should never be apart again, because Kurt isn't sure how much more <em>fond</em> he can take.</p><p>He spots Sebastian first, the slight inch he has on his brother helping his face to be visible above the crowd, and Kurt lets out a happy yelp, holding his hand up in the air to draw Sebastian's attention. </p><p>Sebastian is wearing an amazing camel coat, his hair swept up stylishly, a leather messenger bag slung casually over his shoulder and Kurt feels his breath catch in his throat at how handsome he looks. Their eyes meet, and everything around them slows down; Kurt can see every bat of his lover's eyelashes, his bright green eyes shining through; he can see the birth of that infamous smile on his lips and watches it grow as he recognizes Kurt, lighting up his face and making his freckles dance.</p><p>He watches as Sebastian nudges Julian, who had been too busy looking at his phone to notice anything, and then sees Julian look up and throw his own signature grin Kurt's way. Kurt smiles at him in acknowledgement before turning his eyes back to his boyfriend, a balloon of anticipation swelling inside of him as he waves them over.</p><p>"Hi!!" he says loudly (much too loud) as they get within hearing range, the balloon bursting inside him as air is released from his lungs.</p><p>"Hey babe," Sebastian says, smiling easily. He leans forward and kisses Kurt's lips, a quick but decisive movement that immediately fills up another happy bubble inside of Kurt's chest. It's the middle of the day and they're out in public (at a very crowded airport no less), and although Kurt always understood and accepted Blaine's reluctance for PDAs given his past, there is something about Sebastian's choice to ignore other people's opinions that completes something inside of Kurt that he didn't even know was missing.</p><p>"Hey Kurt," Julian says grinning at him. "You ready to get your party on?"</p><p>"Hey," Kurt says brightly. "I think so, though it would help to know what it is we're doing exactly."</p><p>"And ruin the surprise?" Julian replies with a wink. "Where is the fun in that?"</p><p>"You forget that Kurt is a chronic planner," Sebastian says fondly. "He has to make sure he's wearing the right outfit."</p><p>Julian's eyes do a familiar sweep of his body and Kurt cocks an eyebrow at him. "You look fabulous, sweetheart." </p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes again.</p><p>"I look fabulous for an airport pick-up, yes." He points at his outfit; his neckerchief is sky-blue, his shirt is off-white with small birds in flight printed all over. "But I take it we are not doing the party here?"</p><p>Julian smirks and exchanges a look with Sebastian, who simply shrugs as if to say 'this is how he is.' Julian checks his watch. "If you guys want to freshen up first, we have just over an hour until our table is booked for lunch. We're having steak, and that is all I will give you. I have a few last minute details to organize myself, so I'll meet you there."</p><p>Kurt and Sebastian nod, their eyes finding each other again and sharing a smile. Kurt vaguely hears Julian laugh as he walks away, but doesn't pay him heed, just looks up into his boyfriend's brilliant green eyes. A slight movement catches Kurt's eye as Sebastian pulls something from his pocket, and he turns his gaze downward, he frowns. Is that…a teddy bear?</p><p>He blinks twice, making sure he is actually seeing what he is seeing. His boyfriend is un-mistakenly holding a small, baby blue teddy bear with the airline's logo on its little t-shirt. </p><p>Kurt smirks. "I didn't know you were travelling with a friend."</p><p>Sebastian balks a little, a faint pink tinge colouring his cheeks and he half-awkwardly holds it up. "I uh, got it on the plane. Complimentary service or whatever."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "A reward for flying without your parents?" he teases. "Did you get to see the cockpit too?"</p><p>"Sadly, I didn't get to see any cocks at all," Sebastian replies, vaguely irritated at his amusement. "It came with the food."</p><p>"Oh my god, did you get the kids' meal?" Kurt asks, not ready to let this go just yet. He knows that if the roles were reversed Sebastian would be ribbing him just as hard, if not harder.</p><p>"All the other options had tomatoes in them," Sebastian replies defensively. "Which is an outrage if you ask me. If I fly first class, I expect edible food."</p><p>Kurt is about to berate him about healthy vegetables when Sebastian's next words stop him in his tracks. </p><p>"I kept it because I thought <em>you</em> might like it," he says holding up the small bear. "But if you're going to be a bitch about it we can just leave it somewhere, I'm sure some kid will pick it up."</p><p>"No!" Kurt says, suddenly feeling desperate, and a little guilty. "I'll take it." </p><p>He takes the bear from Sebastian's hands and is pleasantly surprised at how <em>soft</em> it is. "As a reward for travelling without <em>my</em> parents." </p><p>He holds the small plush animal close to his chest. He isn't even sure why he suddenly wants it, but the fact that Sebastian kept it <em>for </em>him <em>means</em> something; and he has always been envious of the girls at the carnival who's boyfriends win them something. He may not be a girl, but he isn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or a blue plushie. He mentally picks a spot for it in his room at home, along with all his other mementos from this summer.</p><p>Sebastian smiles at him and Kurt can't resist the temptation to kiss him again, so he does, pressing up on his tiptoes. It's the lightest touch- they are still in public after all, but Kurt feels it down to his toes. The feeling grows when Sebastian takes his hand on the way to where their cab is parked up waiting.</p><p>"So, do you really not know what we're doing later?" Kurt asks. He holds the door open for Sebastian and then climbs in after him.</p><p>"I really don't," Sebastian replies, wrapping his arm around Kurt now that they're in the privacy of a cab and drawing him closer. Kurt thinks it's nice that he's apparently not the only one who's missed the closeness this week. "I know we're meeting for lunch and then moving on somewhere else, but he only said 'semi-casual'."</p><p>"Well, at least it won't be a strip club then," Kurt muses, considering the outfits he has brought. </p><p>"Unless it's a semi-casual one," Sebastian jokes, "you know, where they only get semi-naked?" He snorts. "I figured I'd wear this to lunch, if that's okay with you. I packed a shirt for later." He pulls the lapels of his coat aside to show Kurt a light grey knit sweater underneath. It looks so understated and elegant that Kurt guesses his mom picked it out. He briefly reaches out and brushes the material with the palm of his hand. It is soft and warm from Sebastian's skin.</p><p>"I'll find something to match," he says, unable to hide the satisfaction in his voice. </p><p>"You like this part, don't you?" Sebastian asks neutrally. "The...couple stuff."</p><p>Kurt pauses. "I do," he admits. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"</p><p>Sebastian looks at him for a moment. "Not as much as I expected it would," he says honestly. Then he looks out of the window, pretending to see something of interest. Kurt quietly rests his head against Sebastian's shoulder, and pretends to see it too. </p><p>*****</p><p>An hour later, the cab drops them off outside a swanky looking restaurant and Kurt is glad he made the decision to change (not that he'd had much choice; the second they got back to the hotel room, Sebastian had shown him just <em>exactly</em> how much he'd missed him, and there is no way he's turning up to a bachelor party with Sebastian's brothers looking anything less than perfect.) In the end, Kurt picked out a navy blue button down shirt and a waistcoat that is the same shade as Sebastian's sweater.</p><p>As they walk through the restaurant towards their table, Kurt feels even more sure that changing was the right decision; most of the clientele are men in sharp suits and fierce-looking women with perfect haircuts, there to exchange gold-rimmed business cards and smalltalk about the stock market. This is not the kind of place that serves free breadsticks (probably not even free seating). He catches sight of Julian and Brian, sitting with another man at a table by the window, and their enthusiasm to see them makes him forget dress codes. </p><p>"Seb! Kurt!" Julian says, waving to them with a huge grin. "There you are! We were just telling Carter about our water ski adventure." He turns back to Carter as if to finish his story. "Best day of the week. And Kurt's a natural."</p><p>"He is," Brian agrees.</p><p>Kurt feels his face flush hotly. Not only was he included in that 'boys' day out', he is also part of the brag story afterwards- a complete novelty. "I had good teachers," he deflects modestly. They approach the table and Brian starts to rise. </p><p>"Oh, don't get up," Kurt quickly offers. "Hi guys." </p><p>"Carter, you remember my little brother Sebastian, right?" Julian says jovially. "This is his boyfriend Kurt Hummel."</p><p>Kurt smiles and holds out his hand to Carter. He is about Brian's age, Kurt guesses, a stout man with a wide, slack mouth and floppy blond hair that he wears in a side partition like Kurt used to. The bangs over his forehead are slightly too long, like a boarding school haircut that he grew out after graduation. His jacket is casually upper class, and he wears a silk neckerchief in his opened collar. </p><p>Carter looks Kurt up and down and then pulls up the corner of his mouth and takes his hand, shaking it with a loose, soft grip. "Kurt Hummel," he repeats to himself, as if wondering where he had heard the name before. "The Congressman's son," he concludes. "Our dads probably met. Does he play golf?"</p><p>Brian smiles encouragingly at Kurt. "His father's in the senate," he says. "Carter and I went to law school together. But, we agreed," he adds, sitting back and addressing all of them, "no politics or shop talk tonight, right? I am now officially on vacation; my inbox is empty, my cases are closed or reassigned and my out of office is on. I do not want to hear anything that is even vaguely related to rules or laws."</p><p>"Hear, hear!" Julian says loudly, banging his hand on the table. "NO RULES! The perfect attitude for a bachelor party!"</p><p>Kurt chuckles. Somehow he can't imagine <em>that </em>is what Brian meant, but it's as good an ice-breaker as any. Ignoring the suits around them looking their way after Julian's words, they order a round of drinks and Brian continues telling Carter about their week in North Carolina, aided by Julian. </p><p>Carter listens attentively, but his eyes occasionally stray to Sebastian and Kurt. When they do, he smiles a lax, private little smile, as if something about them is amusing, but only to him. </p><p>Kurt isn't quite sure what the deal is with him. At a glance it seems like he is the polar opposite of Brian; far more extrovert, frat boy-esk and flamboyant, but not in a way that sets off Kurt's gaydar. He finds out that he is right when Carter casually mentions his wife, Joy. Apparently, they've been married for several years already ('definitely out of the honeymoon phase'), which Carter clearly thinks gives him an edge over Brian. Maybe that's what feels off about him. Kurt is used to people like that treating <em>him </em>like their inferior, but so far, he has never seen anyone dare speak to the Smythes or Brian as anything less. He wonders if Carter has what it takes to back that attitude up.</p><p>Julian orders steak for everyone, telling them this is the best place in town for it, and that they need a proper base in their stomach for later. During dinner, Kurt lets the others talk and just quietly observes. He may have spent a few weeks in their company, been at their parties and on the yacht, but it's not enough to add anything to the conversations about the infrastructure of European cities, wine vintages or skiing in Vermont. It isn't until the topic reaches cars that Kurt gets a moment to shine. It is the one thing he and Carter can talk about without him feeling like the odd one out. </p><p>Carter is fascinated by his first-hand knowledge about makes, models and engine specifics. He tells Kurt all about the modifications done on his sports car and Kurt tells him about Sebastian's car, comparing it to his Navigator and other cars in terms of horse power versus comfort, and for a moment, they leave the other boys behind with car lingo.</p><p>"-and in the end, all that the thing needed was a better coolant. That's what you get if you put your trust in the wrong dealer," Kurt finishes his story. Carter is nodding empathically.</p><p>"I feel you, man," he says, sipping his beer. "But when did you <em>drive </em>all these cars? You can't be more than 18. You must have burned through them."</p><p>"Oh, I didn't actually drive all of them," Kurt says. "Well, some of them I took for a test round to see if we fixed everything."</p><p>Carter's expression goes blank, and Kurt realizes it must have sounded like he <em>owned</em> all the expensive cars he had just talked about. "Before running for congress, my dad was a car mechanic," he explains. "I helped him out at the shop."</p><p>"He's actually really good," Sebastian adds. "I've seen him at work."</p><p>"I'm sorry I missed that," Julian says appreciatively. "I must take my car around for a check-up one day…"</p><p>"Make sure to ask for Franco, then," Kurt replies, smiling sweetly. "As I'll be in New York."</p><p>Julian winks at him and orders them another round of drinks. Brian gently steers the topic back to something neutral, but Kurt can't shake the feeling that Carter looks at him a little differently now. He tries to pay it no heed and focuses on his meal, hoping he hasn't embarrassed himself or Sebastian.</p><p>Julian was right about the steak. It's one of the best cuts Kurt has ever had; cooked to perfection and the peppercorn sauce that came with it is exquisite. Paired with thick cut fries, Kurt feels a little like he's in heaven. Around him, his dinner companions all appear to be enjoying their meals too and when Kurt looks up at Sebastian, their eyes meet, and it's apparent that Sebastian has been watching him for a while. </p><p>Kurt smiles at him and Sebastian's lip curls up to one side in a fond smirk. </p><p>"What?" Kurt asks.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head and reaches towards Kurt with his hand. He tucks his fingers under Kurt's chin and runs the pad of his thumb along the corner of Kurt's mouth, showing him a small smear of sauce that must have lingered on the corner of Kurt's mouth. Kurt quickly licks it off, then blushes a little and turns his face into the touch when Sebastian let's his fingers caress down Kurt's throat- but they're both pulled back to the room by the faint tinkling of metal on glass. They pull away to turn their eyes on Sebastian's brother, who has risen from his seat and looks like he's about to give a speech. </p><p>"Okay guys, I know you are all dying to know what our plans are for the rest of the day," Julian announces flamboyantly, his beer in his hand and his signature smile plastered across his face, "so I shan't beat around the bush. We're <em>not</em> going to a strip-club."</p><p>"Aww," Carter lets out, nudging Brian. </p><p>Kurt is secretly relieved, and reaches for Sebastian's hand under the table. The thought of having to watch Brian (or any of the others) ogle strippers- especially female strippers- had been haunting Kurt's mind ever since Sebastan told him Julian was organizing the bachelor party. But perhaps he had underestimated Julian's ability to match the party style to the groom-to-be. Brian hardly seems like the ogling type. Sebastian gives his hand a gentle squeeze. Julian picks up his speech again. </p><p>"We're not doing that because: A, it's unoriginal, and B, Brian asked me not to." </p><p>Julian raises his glass at the guest of honor. Brian acknowledges it with a nod, and Kurt finds himself mimicking it, pleased that his estimation of Brian is confirmed. "Which," Julian continues, "seeing as he is marrying my little sister, I find very decent and reassuring. Thanks Bri."</p><p>"Hear, hear!" Kurt chimes in, and Brian smiles bashfully, raising his glass of wine up to them in a toast.</p><p>"Instead," Julian says, "What we will be doing tonight- or at least, Brian...is <em>lose.</em> Bear with me, this will make sense in a minute!" </p><p>Julian beams at them, the dimples on his cheeks deep with pleasure and anticipation, and even though Kurt can tell his speech is most likely rehearsed, he pulls it off quite naturally, and Kurt can't help but admire that. Julian is definitely not afraid of the spotlight.</p><p>"You know how they say 'lucky at cards, unlucky at love'?" Again, Julian pauses dramatically and waits for every one of his audience to confirm his rhetorical question with a nod or a smile. "To make his marriage to Liv a success, we have to help him become the <em>biggest loser in the game</em>…we are going to take Bri gambling, and it is his task to lose as much money as he can!"</p><p>"Whaaaat!" Brian lets out incredulously and looks at the others. </p><p>Kurt feels like his anticipation, which had been bubbling and rising up inside of him like a balloon, has just been punched back down into the bowl of his stomach. They are going to deliberately<em> lose money</em>?</p><p>Carter lets out a laugh and slaps the table. "Like Mad Magazine! Opposite-Monopoly! I love it!" He points at Julian and shakes his head in mirth.</p><p>Julian grins, pleased that his joke has an effect. To try and match his enthusiasm, Kurt quickly plasters a thin smile on his own lips and tries to keep it there while his mind spins. <em>How much money are they going to lose?</em></p><p>"We'll start with horse racing, and then on to the casino. Brian has to lose every single bet he places. Because- You may not know this, Kurt, so that's why I'll explain," Julian turns to Kurt, who quickly sits up and refreshes his frozen smile. </p><p>Julian lowers his voice in pretend-confidence, although it is still loud enough for everyone to hear. "Regular gambling with Brian is <em>boring as fuck</em>. Why? Because he's <em>fairly</em> good at it..."</p><p>"But not spectacular," Carter adds, catching on.</p><p>Julian points at him and raises his other index finger to his nose like they are playing charades. "But not spectacular," he repeats, very pleased. "Brian has a lot of background knowledge, he knows the odds, he calculates risks and he makes moderate bets. Moderate bets equal <em>moderate fun</em>."</p><p>"Hey, that's not fair," Brian protests. "I know how to have fun!"</p><p>"Of course you do," Julian says dismissively, waving his hand. "But a bachelor party calls for <em>extraordinary</em> fun. And speaking of which…"</p><p>"Uhoh!" Sebastian lets out, his eyes sparkling. He's still firmly on board with Julian's plan and hasn't noticed anything of Kurt's discomfort yet. Kurt isn't sure if he should feel relieved or disappointed. He lets go of Sebastian's hand and wipes his palm on his jeans.</p><p>"I thought of a little extra challenge..." Julian announces, his smile growing. "When you lose, and lose you shall, your second goal of the evening is to be so <em>dramatic</em> about it, that strange women will have pity on you and offer to buy you a drink!"</p><p>"Nice!!" Carter lets out eagerly.</p><p>Kurt frowns, not sure if he really heard this correctly. </p><p>"You get ten points for every drink- and if you manage to get, what shall we say? Fifty points...all your losses are on the house. If you win...you reimburse <em>our</em> losses."</p><p>Brian covers his face in his hands. "Why are you doing this to me," he mumbles, but it is clear from his tone that he is barely containing a giddy laugh. </p><p>"Because you are going to be my brother in law, and that's what brothers are for, right Seb?" Julian says. </p><p>"Hell, yes," Sebastian agrees, raising his glass.</p><p>Julian raises his glass as well and sips it, concluding his speech by sitting down again.</p><p>Sebastian turns to Kurt. "Suddenly you're glad you're an only child, aren't you?" he teases. </p><p>Kurt's cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling as he nods mutely. He doesn't want to remind Sebastian about Finn, or how about in <em>normal</em> families, siblings don't make each other lose money for fun. What is the point? He doesn't want to be the one to ruin it. Instead, he finishes his drink and orders desert. If they are going to be throwing money out of the window, he might as well enjoy a 20 dollar ice cream. </p><p>*****</p><p>"Hey, what's going on?" Sebastian asks, pulling Kurt aside under the guise of fixing the collar of his coat. With a little start, Kurt realizes that as they filed out of the door of the restaurant, he has briefly relinquished control over his features as his mind went <em>here we go…off to lose money. </em>It must have shown on his face.</p><p>"Are you worried about the races?"</p><p>Kurt licks his lips, casts a nervous glance to the others. He shrugs.</p><p>"You'll be fine, you know," Sebastian offers. "It's not Ascott or anything. You don't even need a hat! I promise you are more than appropriately dressed." He offers Kurt a grin, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. Kurt can tell he is looking forward to it, and it makes his heart even heavier.</p><p>"It's not that," he says quietly. "I know I look fabulous." He sighs. "But gambling? Placing losing bets?"</p><p>"Well, that's just Brian's challenge. <em>We</em> don't have to lose, we could place real bets, not dumb ones," Sebastian argues.</p><p>He pulls back a little and raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Is it the money? It's all on us, you know that, right? It's a party, you don't have to pay for anything! You're a guest!"</p><p>Kurt shrugs awkwardly again, shaking his head. "That's not it. It's the whole principle of the thing. All summer long I have been breaking my head about how I am going to pay for school, and looking up rent in New York and hoping against all hope that I may get a <em>paid</em> internship to tide me over-" He lets out a huff of breath in frustration. </p><p>"I don't know how to reconcile that with...losing money on purpose and then duping others into paying for our drinks." His voice rises just a little too much to stay unnoticed, and Julian- his senses for signs of Kurt's distress almost as honed as Sebastian's- catches it and comes over.</p><p>"Is something wrong?" he asks.</p><p>"Yes," Sebastian says, at the same time as Kurt lets out a very defensive "<em>No</em>."</p><p>Julian winces exaggeratedly and gives Sebastian a stern look. </p><p>"I didn't do anything!" Sebastian protests. "It's <em>your </em>plan. Kurt is against betting to lose."</p><p>"He is? Hey, no worries, we'll spring for you!" Julian offers jovially. "<em>Noblesse oblige</em>, right?"</p><p>"No, that's not-" Kurt starts.
</p><p>"Spring for what?" Brian asks, joining the conversation. </p><p>"The casino," Julian explains helpfully.</p><p>"Oh, that's all right, Kurt, we can pay-"</p><p>"I DON'T WANT YOU TO PAY FOR ANYTHING!" Kurt shouts, balling his fists, his entire body rigid. "Please, just STOP-" </p><p>He breaks off and screws his eyes tightly closed, and shaking his head a little. He is breathing hard, and already he can feel his cheeks turn warm, and tears begin to princkle behind his eyelids. He doesn't want to ruin the day, especially not for Brian, and now he has gone and shouted at them in the street in front of the restaurant. </p><p>Carter, who was still at the bar settling their check, steps out of the door, pocketing his wallet. He walks up to them.</p><p>"Is everything ok?" he asks, his tone a little teasing, having missed Kurt's outburst.</p><p>"I don't think it is," Julian says. Kurt can feel his eyes on him, but refuses to look him in the eye. If he does, he's sure he will cry, and that will most definitely ruin Brian's party. He focuses on his shoes instead.</p><p>"Kurt?" Sebastian nudges carefully. "Can I tell them?"</p><p>"No," Kurt says, and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He raises his chin and faces them. "I guess I'll have to." </p><p>The men exchange slightly worried looks between them.</p><p>"I got into NYADA," Kurt starts, "my dream school. Tuition is high, but I was able to get a scholarship to pay for a part of it, and the rest was going to come from a grant, based on my parents' income." He paused. </p><p>"Only a few weeks ago, I found out I am no longer eligible for this grant, and now I owe them nearly ten thousand dollars and it's due by September tenth. I had a job offer over summer-" Kurt briefly glances at Sebastian, "but I had to turn it down due to...conflicts of interest." </p><p>He sighs. "So it looks like I may have to defer, get a job in New York, and start school one or two semesters late. If they are still willing to take me then." </p><p>"Wow," Julian lets out, "that really sucks."</p><p>Kurt pulls up his shoulders and hugs his arms. "It is how it is. I know plenty of students are going through the same thing, but it just feels wrong to throw money out of the window for fun. So...if it's alright with you, I'll just watch."</p><p>"But we can-" Carter starts, but all three of the others shake their heads, and Brian puts a hand on his arm to stop him from finishing that thought. Then he turns to Kurt again. </p><p>"When exactly did they let you know about this, Kurt?" he asks. </p><p>"Exactly?" Kurt echoes, feeling hollow. He shrugs. "Mid-June." </p><p>If he wants, he can be a <em>lot </em>more exact than that. </p><p>
  <em>June thirteenth. At 10:36 am, when he had been single for exactly 2 minutes and his mocha had gone cold untouched. About five minutes before Sebastian asked him to date him. </em>
</p><p>"Wow," Julian says again. "Why didn't you tell us?" He looks at Sebastian.</p><p>"I didn't find out until last week," Sebastian mumbles, looking more than a little uncomfortable.</p><p>"Because I didn't <em>want</em> you to know," Kurt clarifies. "I didn't want any of you to know. Because of this." He gestures at them, their faces filled with pity, their utter lack of understanding of what it is like to not be able to afford something.</p><p>"It doesn't sound like they gave you much notice," Brian muses, lost in thought. </p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I had all summer to get the money." He shakes his head a little. "Anyway, I am not telling you this to get your pity. It's my problem, I'll figure it out."</p><p>"Yeah, but, you're like family now," Brian argues. "Right Jules?"</p><p>"Exactly. Your problems are our problems," Julian agrees. "I guess Seb already offered to pay for you?"</p><p>"Of course I did," Sebastian snips defensively.</p><p>Kurt nods. "I don't want charity. That's not how I was raised. I want to <em>earn </em>my place there."</p><p>Sebastian takes his hand in his and squeezes it softly. He has heard this before, and has already accepted it. The others, however, have not. </p><p>"We'll think of something," Julian promises. Suddenly, he brightens up, and his eyes sparkle. It is both intriguing and worrying, like the God of Mischief taking human form. </p><p>"What if we held a fund-raiser? Mom and dad have them all the time, and what better way to combine business and pleasure? We'd set a cover fee, maybe get a local band in...make a party out of it! We could sell tickets to the bodyshot line!" He nods at Sebastian suggestively.</p><p>Kurt's mouth drops open and he closes his hand around Sebastian's fingers forcefully as if someone is trying to tear him away. "No!" he says vehemently. Sebastian is <em>his.</em> If he has a say in it, he's not letting anyone else lick his boyfriend's abs ever again. </p><p>"You're kind of crushing my hand, babe," Sebastian whispers in his ear. Kurt quickly lets up, and Sebastian kisses the side of his face before turning to Julian. </p><p>"Those days are over," Sebastian states, then glances at Kurt. "My boyfriend's too jealous." His voice is fond; a hint of amusement, but mostly pride, and Julian gives the two of them a look that is almost painfully envious.</p><p>"I'm pretty sure Cooper wouldn't want <em>you</em> to volunteer either," Kurt reminds Julian, and Julian frowns a little as he considers it. Then his eyes go wide again. </p><p>"Cooper! He has loads of contacts in showbiz! What if he found you a sponsor? Some rich old lady with more money than she can spend to buy NYADA a new auditorium or something in exchange for them waiving your tuition?"</p><p>Kurt shakes his head again. "That's ludicrous," he says. "Who would do that? And besides, it'd still be charity." He looks around at the group, who are now looking a little crestfallen. "Come on, guys. I don't want to hear anything else about this for now. Today is about Brian and he deserves the best bachelor party we can give him. We can figure out the rest when our hangovers clear!"</p><p>Julian perks up and straightens, giving Kurt a firm nod. "You're absolutely right. Let's head over to the tracks, there's some horses with our names on them."</p><p>"Literally?" Kurt whispers to Sebastian as they start going. If there's a horse called <em>Kurt</em>, he can't <em>not</em> bet on it, can he?
</p><p>"With Julian, you never know," he replies.</p><p>*****</p><p>As it turns out, there are no horses named Kurt, Brian or even Olivia- but they are magnificent all the same. Julian has arranged a meet-and-greet with some of the jockeys, and while the Smythe boys, Carter and Brian talk shop with them, discussing starter bonuses and purses (<em>much more boring than the term made it sound</em>, Kurt thinks, <em>as it isn't about actual purses or bags at all</em>), Kurt walks through the stables and looks at the horses. They are beautiful, sleek creatures, their eyes alert, their coats glossy. He stops to admire a dark bay colt, taking care not to get too close. </p><p>"You, mister, have the longest eyelashes I have ever seen on a boy," he jokes idly. "What's your secret?" He pauses for a moment, then adds "<em>Really?</em> Wow. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He pauses again, watching its large ribcage expand and contract slowly. </p><p>"You feel more at home here than I do, don't you?" he asks quietly. "I'm way out of my league…"</p><p>Behind him, he hears someone chuckle. He turns around to see Carter looking at him. He feels a blush creep up on his neck, and covers it with his hand. "Hey, Carter. I was just…" he trails off and rubs the back of his neck.</p><p>"Taking some time off from the thoroughbreds?" Carter asks.</p><p>Kurt frowns. "I thought all the racing horses today were- <em>Oh.</em>" His eye catches Sebastian and the others, and he presses his lips together into a tight smile. "Yes, I guess so." </p><p>"We can be a bit much, or so I am told," Carter admits. "It's hard to tell if you move in the same circles all your life. Sometimes it takes an outsider to remind us to pull our heads out of our asses."</p><p>"Well, you know what they say about outsiders," Kurt says, "back the right one and you might make a fortune."</p><p>Carter grins. Then his expression goes serious. "And is he the right one?" he asks.</p><p>Kurt lets out a surprised laugh, and then realizes Carter is actually waiting for an answer. "Sebastian?" he asks, and pauses to look at him. "Yes. I think so."</p><p>Carter nods appreciatively. "But you're not looking to make a fortune..." he muses. </p><p>"You thought I was a golddigger?" Kurt asks, his voice going a little sharp, because the term comes a little too close to comfort to his deal with Sebastian.</p><p>"Well, obviously not, or you'd have taken his money to place a huge bet, or secured your education by letting your boyfriend pay for it," Carter argues. "So that means you're really here for <em>him.</em>"</p><p>"I am," Kurt confirms, perhaps a little too strictly, because Carter takes the slightest step back.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Kurt, I didn't mean anything by it," he says holding up his hands. "I was just making conversation. It's why most of us date the kids of our parents' friends, you know."</p><p>Kurt raises an eyebrow. "To keep the money in the family?"</p><p>Carter shakes his head. "No, to make sure that's not the <em>reason</em> for the date; because if you meet someone in a club and they find out who you are or what part of town your parents own, it usually is."</p><p>"That's a very pessimistic view of love," Kurt says.</p><p>Carter looks over his shoulder back at the others. "Well, once you hit the Forbes 500 list, you need to be realistic about it." He turns back to Kurt. </p><p>"Right, of course," Kurt replies, chuckling. His laughter slowly fades and he realizes Carter is not laughing along. "...wait. You're serious?"</p><p>Carter appraises him for a moment. "You really have no idea what the Smythes are worth, have you?" he asks, sounding slightly incredulous. </p><p>"I…" Kurt starts, glancing towards the stable doors. He hesitates. He knows they have a mansion and a beach house, several cars, a yacht...but he realizes he has no idea what that means in terms of fortune. "How much?"</p><p>"About three hundred and fifty billion," Carter says, as casually as if he's commenting on the weather. </p><p>Kurt swallows. <em>"Oh."</em> </p><p>Carter grins knowingly. "Oh, indeed. Are you still sure you want to wait tables for a year to get your 10K? They can make all your troubles go away like-" He snaps his fingers. "-<em>that</em>."</p><p>Kurt raises his chin and nods. "I'm sure," he says.</p><p>"Then maybe <em>you're</em> the right one too."</p><p>Kurt pauses, feeling awkward. He feels like he passed some kind of test, but what, and why? He looks at the colt. "So...what about this horse, huh? What are his chances?"</p><p>Carter indulges him and begins to tell Kurt about the colt's previous races, his trainer, his favorite ground- things Kurt doesn't really know much about, but listens to with interest so he might be able to understand one of the Smythes' hobbies better. If he doesn't make a complete fool out of himself, it might not be the last time he gets asked to join Sebastian at a race.</p><p>Finally, Sebastian comes over to join them. "We're about ready to place our bets," he announces. "And then the boring part is over and we can get a drink at the bar and wait for them to start."</p><p>"Oh, I wasn't bored," Kurt says, smiling at Carter. The awkwardness between them has passed and by the time they are settled in their seats at the viewing platform, Kurt has already casually dropped some racing lingo into the conversation and earned some admiring looks from his boyfriend, all thanks to Carter. Maybe, Kurt muses, Carter was just feeling a little testy around the odd one out too.</p><p>Brian manages to confuse the audience around them a lot when he starts shouting at the horse he has placed a bet on for going<em> too fast, </em>much to the amusement of the others in their group. His horse ends up losing the race, and Brian and buys everyone a round of drinks to celebrate- this confuses the other spectators even more. </p><p>Kurt is finally beginning to understand the idea behind this challenge, and he can't help but raise his glass to toast to Brian's loss as well. He doesn't ask how much money he lost, because after his talk with Carter, he isn't sure he wants to know, but celebrating a loss ironically is actually kind of funny.</p><p>Despite not having placed any bets himself, Kurt had found himself rooting for the horses they met earlier, the dark bay in particular. It came in third, and Kurt secretly regrets being so strict with himself. If he had placed a bet, he might actually have made some money. All the more surprised is he when Sebastian hands him a fifty dollar note. </p><p>"What's this?" he asks.</p><p>"Your winnings," Sebastian says with an easy smile. "I placed a bet for you. Carter told me you liked the one that came in third."</p><p>"But-" Kurt starts to protest, but Sebastian shakes his head.</p><p>"Please, take it, for the casino. I just want us to have a good time. Consider it a loan, and if you win anything with it, you give the fifty back and keep the profit. If you lose it, no harm done."</p><p>"But I don't want-" Kurt starts again.</p><p>"Charity, I know," Sebastian agrees. "But it's only charity if you keep it, right? You can always give it to Brian as a wedding present or donate it to help homeless unicorns or something."</p><p>Kurt sighs. Sebastian is right. Watching the horse come in third without having made a bet had made him feel like he has lost a little bit, too, and he might be pretty bad company if he sticks to his guns and principles at the casino as well. "Alright. But if I lose it, that's it- I can't afford to put more in."</p><p>"Understood," Sebastian says, and it's already worth it to see the excited shine in his eyes return when Kurt pockets the money. Another principle out of the window, another line crossed. Is there anything he won't do for this boy?</p><p>*****</p><p>"Wow, this place is huge," Kurt mumbles as he looks around the large lobby of the casino hotel. He feels like they have stumbled into a palace - every surface is either gilded or marble, shiny and smooth. The lobby itself is big enough to be a ballroom. "And I thought our hotel in New York was fancy," he whispers in awe. The Intercontinental had had its location at Times Square going for it, but this place was even grander. A bit gaudier too, maybe, but the floor space alone made up for that. </p><p>"When were you in New York?" Sebastian asks, turning to look at him and pulling him out of his thoughts.</p><p>"Nationals 2011," Kurt replies. "Our whole Glee club shared two rooms because it was all we could afford." Before he can ask, Kurt adds, "I wanted to stay with the girls but Mr Schue was backwards about it again. I got my own fold-out bed though, because of the <em>gay cooties</em>."</p><p>"You guys were at Nationals twice? The Warblers never told me that!" Sebastian says instead, and Kurt is quietly glad that the competition interests him more than his sleeping arrangement with the Glee club boys. "I only knew you competed this year and beat the crap out of the competition. What did you place last year?"</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes. "Twelfth. I'm surprised word didn't get back to you about that, it was a bit of a fiasco. We wrote our own songs last minute and Rachel and Finn sucked face at the end of our number and cost us a lot of points."</p><p>"Yikes," Sebastian lets out, and Kurt nods grimly. </p><p>A friendly looking woman in a toned down but well-cut blazer greets them at the reception. Julian steps up, dazzling her with some smalltalk about the summery weather and a smile that Kurt now recognises is gender specific; for women, it's more dimples and less teeth, and it's fascinating to see the effect of his charm once again. </p><p>By the time he puts his creditcard down on the marble desk, the desk clerk is blushing from her cheekbones to behind her ears, and she offers them complimentary breakfast in their suite. She kind of looks like she wishes she could bring it by herself. Julian promises he will let her know the moment he wakes up in the morning, implying that his first thoughts will be of her, and she giggles.</p><p>"I didn't know we were staying in a suite," Kurt whispers to Sebastian as they move along the corridor to the elevator. </p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "Why wouldn't we?"</p><p>"Because we're only here for one night and will probably be at the casino all evening?" Kurt replies matter-of-factly. "Simple rooms to crash in would have sufficed."</p><p>"Simple is boring," Sebastian reminds him. "And we don't do-"</p><p>"Yes, yes, I know," Kurt cuts him off, rolling his eyes. </p><p>"Besides, the Smythes <em>never </em>crash," Carter jokes from the side, winking at Kurt. "They only <em>lounge</em>." </p><p>The elevator opens on their floor, which is only a few floors under the penthouse ('I wanted it but it was already booked', Julian says apologetically) and theirs is the only suite on the entire floor. It has a beautiful view of the area. </p><p>"Please tell me there isn't a tiger in the bathroom," Kurt mumbles, and Julian laughs out loud. </p><p>"Yeah, about that, guys: one word of caution… if you trash this place or we lose Bri on the roof, Liv will kill me, so if you value your host, please, I beg you - <em>behave</em>."</p><p>"No objections from me," Brian says. "I fully intend to enjoy my bachelor party without any permanent memory loss or missing teeth."</p><p>"Yeah, Joy would probably kick my ass too if word got out back home, so we'll be good boys," Carter promises grudgingly. </p><p>Kurt quietly hopes that he is nicer to Joy at home than the way he talks about her; the ball-and-chain act is getting on his nerves a bit. Why do straight guys always like to pretend to hate their girlfriends or wives? Perhaps later, after they've had a few drinks, Kurt can ask, now that they have bonded over cars and everything.</p><p>"Seb, Kurt-" Julian says, calling their attention again, "since you're the only couple in our group, you get the big room. It's down there to the right. We've got the two rooms on the left: Brian, Carter, I shall leave it up to you to fight over who gets to room with me." He shoots a wink at them and then turns to Kurt almost as if to say <em>see, I can flirt with anyone if I wanted to. </em>Kurt shakes his head in fond disapproval.</p><p>Carter follows their quiet exchange and then looks at Kurt and Sebastian as if he is seeing them in a new light. "That's right," he says, "you're here as bro's <em>and</em> boyfriends while all of us have to play nice! Damn, I envy you guys. Just don't be too loud, okay?"</p><p>"No promises, <em>bro</em>," Sebastian replies, smirking. "Kurt's a bit of a screamer." He swivels his hips.</p><p>Kurt wrinkles his nose and punches Sebastian's arm. The others laugh- Carter's the loudest, and Julian looks a little too interested. Brian gives Kurt a sympathetic long-suffering look.</p><p>"Sorry, babe," Sebastian says, still chuckling a little as he rubs his arm. "It's hard to unlearn a decade of inappropriate jokes."</p><p>"Only a decade? Having met your family I assumed they started training you before your spelling bees," Kurt replies, acknowledging Julian with a nod. He snorts and puts his thumbs up.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "I don't mind if you make rude jokes, I really don't," he says, lowering his voice so only Sebastian can hear. "I'm used to that by now. I just don't like the ones that assert some sort of alpha-gay dominance over me. You understand that, right?"</p><p>"I do," Sebastian admits. "No jokes about you making me a sandwich."</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes and sighs deeply. "Right." He nods towards the room. "Shall we?"</p><p>"Oooh, someone's in trouble," Julian teases eagerly. Kurt ignores him and heads to their bedroom, expecting Sebastian to follow. He can see Julian and Sebastian exchange a few gestures behind his back, and from the corner of his eye sees Julian miming spanking Carter, but he resists rising to the bait. If that makes him look more stern, all the better. Maybe it makes Sebastian nervous enough to consider his words next time.</p><p>As soon as the door closes behind them, Sebastian drops his smirk and their bags. "On a scale of one to ten, how mad are you at me right now?" he asks carefully.</p><p>"For that joke?" Kurt replies, then shrugs. "Hardly a two. I don't like the stereotyping much, but to be honest, Carter's jokes about his wife bother me a lot more."</p><p>Sebastian screws up his face in sympathy. "Ugh, yes, I know what you mean. He's such a straight guy."</p><p>"I hope you don't talk about me like that when I am not there," Kurt says.</p><p>"Of course I don't!" Sebastian lets out indignantly. "Why on earth would I do that?"</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "Because 'boys will be boys'?"</p><p>"Well, I <em>don't,</em>" Sebastian stresses, "and I could be asking you the same question. Seeing as <em>you </em>are a <em>boy </em>too."</p><p>"I wouldn't, either!" Kurt says vehemently.</p><p>"Well, then now that we have that cleared up," Sebastian says, pulling his sweater over his head and dropping it to the floor, stalking towards Kurt. "Can we kiss already?"</p><p>Kurt lets Sebastian's advance back him up until his legs hit the edge of the large bed, and looks up at him with glittering eyes. "Yes. We can."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: the AO3; thank you for giving us the platform to filter, find, read and share fanworks, for making it reliable, legible and usable, and for protecting us from prosecution and purges.</p><p>CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic nc-17 scene.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twenty minutes later, they emerge from their room and Kurt takes a moment to observe their partners in crime for the evening. They have all gotten changed for the casino and he is pleased to see that they have all made an effort (not that he was expecting anything less, if he's honest with himself, but it makes for a nice change to be around guys who actually take pride in their appearance). </p><p>Brian is looking particularly dapper; he's wearing a pair of dark wash jeans that show off his toned legs, a crisp white shirt under a navy sweater, the top two buttons undone and the collar popped over the sweater's neckline, and a blue/grey wool blazer which helps to complete the look of a modern day Prince Charming. Carter cleans up better than expected too; he's opted for matching navy chinos and blazer with a black and white striped t-shirt underneath. </p><p>Julian...well, he's just Julian; his hair is artfully tousled and he has picked the loudest, flirtiest color shirt of all, a deep purple, the sleeves spanning around his biceps just a little too tightly to be coincidental. He's going to break hearts tonight - but Kurt is sure it'll just be for show, because he caught a glimpse of his phone at the races, and all he seems to be doing is texting Cooper. Maybe dressing for attention even if he is not looking to get laid is something Julian needs some time unlearning, too. <em>Then again</em>, Kurt thinks as he sneaks another glance at Julian's arms, <em>who says he has to unlearn? As long as he doesn't act on the attention he gets, Kurt doesn't mind him dressing like this. At all.</em></p><p>Kurt has opted for a blue maple leaf print shirt with a pair of black skinny jeans and Sebastian is wearing jeans and a dress shirt which happens to match the colour of the leaves on Kurt's shirt (a detail that made Kurt's heart give a happy little thump when he saw it- he didn't even have to help Sebastian pick it out. He has come a long way from popping up the collar of his polo shirt at Scandals). Sebastian is also sporting a dark hickey on the side of his throat, placed deliberately <em>over</em> the collar of his shirt, just under his jawline. Julian whistles through his teeth as he sees it.</p><p>"Someone's on a leash tonight," he teases, and gives Sebastian a waggle of his eyebrows. Sebastian shrugs, looking not in the least embarrassed about it.</p><p>"Jealous much?" Kurt asks casually.</p><p>"Fuck, yes," Julian admits. "If that's what misbehavior gets him, sign me up for some of that!"</p><p>"Sorry, no VIP access for you," Kurt replies, and from the corner of his eye, sees Sebastian preen just a little more.</p><p>They take the elevator down to the casino floor, and Julian gives them the overview of the place; table games, slot machines, roulette, craps, blackjack, mini-baccarat, poker- there's not much you <em>can't</em> bet on here, and seeing as their goal is to lose money, they can't really go wrong. </p><p>Kurt only knows of these games from James Bond movies - their feeble attempts to play strip-poker in Rachel's basement ended going nowhere because everyone but him was too drunk to focus on the cards and just started stripping for the heck of it. That was one awful party-experience he hoped never to repeat (though the visuals of Sam stripping were locked safely in his mind palace for the occasional revisit). </p><p>"What do you guys normally play?" he asks. </p><p>"Brian's a blackjack guy, I prefer craps," Julian says, nodding at the individual corners of the casino where the games are hosted. "But it doesn't really matter tonight, does it?"</p><p>"I just mess around with anything that has a free seat at the table," Carter confesses. "Like there!" He points at a table in the roulette area and starts towards it. </p><p><em>It must be nice to have so much money it doesn't really matter how you lose it, </em>Kurt muses. <em>Three hundred and fifty billion dollars…</em> He still can't quite wrap his mind around it.</p><p>"Let's go, then," Julian says, beaming a smile at Brian. "Game on!" Sebastian eagerly trails behind him. Brian shoots a look at Kurt that gives him the feeling they are the only two adults in the room, currently looking after three teens on sugar.</p><p>"It'll be okay, Kurt," he says amicably. "I don't mind losing. I just want to have a good time with my friends. <em>Not</em> because I think this is my last chance to do so- but just because I like hanging out with them. Any reason for a party is a good one, right?"</p><p>Kurt nods, and realizes that in another time, in another universe, Brian would be just the kind of guy he'd fall for. He's tall and beautiful, with amazing cheekbones and a strong jawline, and he's calm and friendly, intelligent, responsible - and old enough to be mature, but <em>not </em>old enough for it to feel creepy. In <em>this </em>universe however, he's grown addicted to Sebastian and his immature jokes, his childlike enthusiasm and his disregard for rules, and maybe, he just wants to be a teenager for a little while longer, too.</p><p>The sound of laughter pulls him from his thoughts and he looks towards the roulette table. Sebastian looks at them and beckons him with his hand. When Brian and Kurt arrive, there's only one seat left. With a grin on his face, Sebastian reels Kurt in and sits him on his lap. "Do you want to play?" he asks in Kurt's ear. </p><p>"I don't know how," Kurt replies honestly, eyeing the board and the spinning wheel. </p><p>"Okay, just watch for a few rounds and then we can switch seats," Sebastian suggests, and he places a small stack of chips on the board. The sign over the table says that minimum bets are 25$, but Sebastian's chips are black while most of the others are green. "How much is that?" Kurt whispers. </p><p>"Four hundred," Sebastian replies, "but it's a fairly safe bet, we're just getting warmed up."</p><p>Next to him, Julian has placed a larger stack of chips, and Kurt wonders if this is going to lead to the two of them trying to out-bet each other soon. He counts the stack and figures Julian is in for nine hundred. It makes Kurt a little queasy to know that between them, they could lose 1300 dollars just in one spin of the wheel. Carter has stacked several green chips.</p><p>The croupier sets the wheel in motion, and Kurt watches the ball go. It's mesmerizing. While he watches, Sebastian's voice is in his ear, low enough so only he can hear, explaining different kinds of bets and their pay-offs. He has bet on even, while Julian placed his stack on a square that reads ‘2nd dozen'. The wheel slows down and bets are closed. Kurt holds his breath. The ball falls into 14. Kurt blinks. Fourteen, that's even- and between 13 and 24. Both Sebastian and Julian have won. Carter lost - he had bet on black. With the odds Sebastian just explained, Kurt quickly does the math. "Did Julian just win 2700 dollars?" he breathes. </p><p>Sebastian hums. "Do you wanna play yet?" he whispers back. Next to him, Kurt can see Brian put money on the table, and watches it get exchanged for chips. </p><p>"No, I'll wait it out," Kurt replies. With fifty dollars at a minimum of 25, he could be done for the night within two rolls. He watches Brian's hand hover over a bet on a single number. </p><p>"That's very uninventive," Julian chides him. "You're sure to lose that way! So boring."</p><p>"Oh, you're going to criticize <em>how</em> I lose, as well?" Brian teases, but to please his friend, sets his chip down on the grid between four numbers. </p><p>"Better," Julian says, pushing almost his entire stack of newly won chips to black. Sebastian locks eyes with him and sets down his stack on red. </p><p><em>Oi, here we go with the sibling rivalry again, </em>Kurt muses. After a split second, Carter follows suit on red.</p><p>The ball rolls and rolls, then lands on red, and although Kurt is happy for Sebastian and Carter, he can't help but feel a pang of regret for the money Julian just lost. Brian lost as well, and the boys high five each other over the table for ‘solidarity'. The croupier gives them an amused look, but does not comment. </p><p>After several rounds, they have drawn a bit of an audience. Sebastian has won and subsequently lost 5000 dollars, but Kurt has to remind himself he started with 400. Julian is currently at 750 and Carter called it quits after winning 2000 and went to get a fresh drink. Brian is on a roll and has already lost Kurt's NYADA tuition twice over. People are starting to queue around them and comment on his bad decisions. </p><p>"Just take a break," one of them says.</p><p>"Stop betting the inside!" another suggests.</p><p>"I know, I know," Brain says appeasingly, blushing hotly. "It's okay, I'm having fun."</p><p>"How about a drink?" a woman next to them offers. "You look like you need to cool down." Without waiting for an answer, she flags down a waiter. Julian sits up and shouts in victory, punching the air. This confuses a lot of people, because the croupier hasn't even started the wheel yet. </p><p>"Sorry, saw something on the monitors over there," Julian says sheepishly, nodding at the video betting that is going on at the far left, but Kurt knows he is just happy Brian is getting a free pity drink.</p><p>Kurt looks at the woman. She is wearing a beautiful deep blue dress with a generous V-cut neckline that plunges down her svelte figure, and he can't help but immediately dislike her for the way she is looking at Brian. </p><p><em>Back off, he's taken</em>, Kurt wants to say, but he holds himself back. He knows he can trust Brian not to fall into whatever trap she is setting out. She introduces herself as Nicola, though Kurt doubts that's her real name. Brian smiles bashfully and lets her order him a beer. Behind her back, Julian holds up two hands to signal he has scored 10 points and then gives him the thumbs up. Kurt shakes his head in mirth. </p><p>When they decide to change tables and move to poker, Nicola comes with them. She's hanging on Brian's arm, asking him all sorts of questions about his work and how often he comes here, causing a few envious looks from the people around them. Brian humors her politely, and Kurt smiles every time he hears him skillfully mention his fiancée and the upcoming wedding. </p><p>Nicola doesn't seem to take the hint. <em>Maybe she's one of those people who believe anyone is fair game until they wear a ring- or even after that, </em>Kurt muses, then berates himself for thinking so negatively about someone he doesn't even know. And yet he can't help but think about Carter's words from earlier. People <em>will</em> do anything for money, and it seems like she's picked up the scent; Kurt notices she doesn't play, but keeps an alert eye on Brian's chips. </p><p>"Should we do something about her?" he whispers to Sebastian. </p><p>He shrugs. "She's not really <em>doing</em> anything, is she? Can't blame a girl for trying, I guess."</p><p>"I don't like her."</p><p>"Me neither. We should take a picture of her for Liv." Sebastian takes out his phone and pulls Kurt closer. He puts it on its front facing camera and pretends to take a selfie of the two of them, making sure to angle it so that Nicola is in the background. He makes a rude face at the camera and presses the button right when Kurt cracks up at his expression. The picture is bound to be hilarious in its own right, even without the added design to be bitchy about it later. Kurt hopes he will get a copy.</p><p>"Don't send it yet or she'll worry," Kurt warns him. </p><p>"I won't," Sebastian replies. "Though she's out with her girlfriends too- who knows what kind of guys are chatting them up right now."</p><p>Kurt fakes a shudder. "Why do bachelor and bachelorette parties always have to be like that," he mumbles. "Everyone always acts like it's their last chance to have sex with random people, eventhough the whole <em>point</em> of getting married is to show your commitment to the person you're in a relationship with..."</p><p>"Yeah. Either you are committed to each other or you aren't," Sebastian agrees. "That one night should not be exempt from that."</p><p>"Exactly!" Kurt looks at him, relieved that he feels the same way. He looks over the casino. Their current card game is too complicated to explain while they are playing, and Sebastian can't exactly explain his hand without everyone at the table hearing, so Kurt is wondering if maybe he should go back to the roulette table. Sebastian did give him that fifty to play…</p><p>"Would you mind if I walked around a little?" he asks. Sebastian shakes his head. </p><p>"Of course not, go on. I think we'll probably be here for an hour or two more and then Julian said something about the bar...we've all got our phones so if you don't see us, just call me."</p><p>With butterflies in his stomach, Kurt heads over to the spinning wheel, drawn by the sound of the rolling ball. </p><p>*****</p><p>"Hey babe, how's it going?" Sebastian asks a while later, kissing Kurt's cheek before sitting down next to him. Kurt looks at the single chip in front of him dejectedly.</p><p>"I should have quit while I was ahead," he says sadly.</p><p>"Most uttered words within these walls, I think," Sebastian says, putting a hand on Kurt's knee and squeezing in comfort. "How far did you get?"</p><p>"Almost halfway to my goal," Kurt whispers. "And now I'm down to twenty-five dollars. I didn't even keep your fifty."</p><p>Sebastian shrugs, as Kurt expected he would. It doesn't make him feel much better. The whole day; the talk with Carter, seeing how much the others bet so casually, and almost having half of the money for NYADA without any effort- it makes him wonder what he is doing here. To distract himself from his thoughts, he signals that he doesn't want to play anymore, pockets his remaining chip, and turns to face Sebastian.</p><p>"How's Brian doing?" he asks.</p><p>"Fine. It's been really hilarious to see people react to him losing so calmly. I think Julian is getting a little bored, though. At some point he knocked one of Brian's drinks over on purpose to see if Nicola would spring for another to get him up to fifty points so we can end the game and go to the bar."</p><p>Kurt smiles. He can just <em>see</em> that move, a casual flick of an elbow or a wrist, like a cat jumping on a table, not caring whatever it knocks over. "Did he stick with poker?"</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "No, we moved to blackjack and now he's- Oh. That's weird." He has turned towards the area of the video bets, his eyes searching. </p><p>Kurt frowns and follows the direction Sebastian is looking at with his eyes. "What is it?" he asks.</p><p>"They were just there…" Sebastian's phone starts ringing in his pocket. He takes it out and looks at the display. "It's Jules, maybe they decided to move on?" He holds it up to his ear and answers. The croupier signals that they need to leave the table to make room for other players, and Kurt and Sebastian step aside. </p><p>"Brian?" Sebastian says in a loud voice, a confused look on his face. He looks around the room. "Yeah, no, he isn't, I thought he was with you?" He holds his arm up and waves. Kurt follows his gaze and sees Julian and Carter standing together by the staircase that leads to the lower deck. "I see you," he confirms, then hangs up.</p><p>"Brian's not with them?" Kurt asks. Sebastian shakes his head, and they start towards Julian and Carter, who are also walking towards them. Did they seriously just lose the groom?</p><p>"Has anyone checked the men's room?" Sebastian asks.</p><p>"We just did," Julian confirms. </p><p>"How about the ladies' room?" Carter suggests.</p><p>"I told you, man, Brian is <em>not</em> cheating on my sister!" Julian protests, and he swats Carter's chest with the back of his hand. </p><p>"That chick was laying it on pretty thick though," Carter argues, "maybe someone should check to be sure." Kurt frowns when his eyes flicker over to him. </p><p>"Watch it, Carter," Julian says, pointing at him. "You're on thin fucking ice."</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian growls.</p><p>"Let's not fight amongst ourselves and just look for him," Kurt says, willing to overlook Carter's insinuation for now. Having both Smythe brothers stand up for him like that raises the times someone has done that for him to 200%, and he has recently learned to quit while he's ahead.</p><p>"Okay, so maybe he has gone up to the suite- <em>by himself,</em>" Julian adds pointedly, giving Carter a warning look. "How about two of us stay here in case he comes back and-"</p><p>"Excuse me, Mr Smythe?" a voice behind them asks.</p><p>"Yes?" Both Julian and Sebastian reply, turning around. A sharply dressed casino employee stands before them. "I am looking for a <em>Julian</em> Smythe," the man clarifies. "It concerns Mr Wilton."</p><p>"Is he alright?" Kurt asks, his voice rising in pitch as his worries spike sharply.</p><p>"I'm Julian Smythe. What's going on?" Julian sounds less worried, but Kurt can tell it's just an act. He too, has gotten a feeling for Julian's more subtle signs of discomfort. His face may look relaxed, but his hand is clenching around his phone, his knuckles nearly white.</p><p>"If you could come with me please," the man says, nodding at the exit.</p><p>Kurt glaces at Sebastian. What is happening? "Is he alright?" he repeats.</p><p>"Mr Wilton is physically fine," the man says, "we just need Mr Smythe to verify a few...details of your stay."</p><p>"We're all coming," Sebastian states, and Carter nods. Briefly, Kurt worries that this might be about their fake IDs (they were carded upon entrance to the casino), but then why would they have <em>Brian</em> when it was Julian who booked everything? </p><p>The man nods curtly and starts towards the exit. "Through here, please," he says, and extends his hand towards a door with a guard in front of it. The guard steps aside to let them in. The room is empty save for a table and some chairs, its walls whitewashed, glaring brightly with fluorescent lighting- a harsh change from the ambient lights in the casino, which cast everything in a soft yellow-orange glow, making it feel like a big homely living room. This place feels like a holding cell. Their footsteps echo on the floor as they step inside. </p><p>Nicola, a jacket over her dress covering up her cleavage and a casino lanyard with ID around her neck, is leaning against the table. Next to her is a stern looking man with thick rimmed glasses, carrying a similar ID. Kurt realizes they are both casino security officers. So much for her trying to seduce Brian!</p><p>"Where's Bri?" Julian asks.</p><p>"He's being detained in another room," Nicola says, crossing her arms over her chest, "until we figure out what your game plan is."</p><p>"Our <em>game plan</em>?" Julian echoes. "We don't have a game plan, apart from throwing Brian the best bachelor party in the history of bachelor parties!" He looks at the others for backup. Carter gives him the thumbs up, clearly wanting to make up for earlier.</p><p>"So he said. And of course we get a lot of that here; drinking, gambling, living it up one last time before putting a ring on it, and it's not uncommon for young men to lose their inhibitions on such an evening and perhaps bet more than they originally planned," Nicola continues unperturbed. </p><p>The man next to her nods. "We want everyone here to have a good time, and go home with good memories- ones that will make them want to return. So when we notice someone's on a losing streak, we generally try to encourage them to...take it easy. But none of our staff were able to dissuade Mr Wilton, and it was noted that his reaction to his losses was very atypical," he continues.</p><p>Kurt is a little taken aback. He thinks of the people around them that had watched Brian lose. How many of them had been undercover casino staff?</p><p>"When people behave atypical at a casino, that's when security flags go up. We do a background check, we run facial recognition, and when all else fails, a trained staff member goes in to look for behavioral tells." The man nods at Nicola to take over again.</p><p>It begins to dawn on Kurt what this is about. Carter seems to have grasped the concept as well. He points at Nicola. "Wait! You're a cop?" </p><p>"I'm a trained security officer specializing in gambling behavior," Nicola replies calmly. "Mr Wilton was losing a large sum of money, but was showing no outward signs of distress- no sweaty palms, dilated pupils, shaking, cursing, expressions of aggression or regret." The woman sounds like she is checking a list off a textbook. "Neither was he showing any signs of intoxication; overconsumption of alcohol, mood enhancing drugs-"</p><p>"So what are you saying?" Carter interrupts again. "You took him in because he wasn't flipping tables?" He chuckles nervously.</p><p>"Basically: yes," Nicola agrees tersely. "Which brings me to the next red flag. After talking to him and concluding that he was of sound mind and neither drunk nor high, I focused on his betting style. He lost almost every game he played because he was deliberately placing highly unlikely to impossible bets, or forfeiting when he was winning." She pauses for the punch. "He was losing <em>on purpose."</em> </p><p>She looks at each of them in turn, judging their reactions. Kurt feels his cheeks starting to heat up, and he is wondering how many of the woman's ‘tells' are visible in his posture right now, and if she is analyzing them. He feels embarrassed and guilty, like they have been doing something that's against the rules. Is it against the rules to lose on purpose? </p><p>Carter looks equally mortified. Kurt sneaks a glance at Sebastian, who is chewing down on the corners of his mouth, trying not to grin. Clearly the situation does not intimidate him at all. A look at Julian tells Kurt he, too, finds this whole situation hilarious. When their eyes meet, Julian can't hold it inside anymore. He snorts loudly, then starts laughing.</p><p>"Oh my god. Yes, <em>of course</em> he was! No one could ever be that dumb! He folded with a straight flush!" He shakes his head a little in mirth. Though his laughter is infectious, Kurt watches Nicola closely. She doesn't seem to find it very amusing.</p><p>"Why? Why would a young man of impeccable background, education and wealth want to blow <em>seventy thousand dollars</em> on purpose?" she asks, sounding frustrated.</p><p>Kurt sucks in a breath. <em>Seventy thousand? That's insane!</em> Julian offers her a comical face and shrugs exaggeratedly. "Momentary lapse of judgement?" he suggests idly.</p><p>"Or <em>maybe</em> you were making a deal under the table," Nicola continues. "Maybe you and your buddies here were uploading videos, or collecting money off bets <em>on </em>his bets- I saw you take pictures." </p><p>She looks at Sebastian. "Or were you trying to curate co-players for a private game? Plant a sympathetic, young loser at the table and make him bleed, and see what kind of sharks turn up?" Her eyes flash and she glares at them. "You can tell me now, or you can tell the police. They take illegal bets and gambling fraud very seriously."</p><p>"Woah," Carter interjects. "Gambling fraud? Brian could get disbarred for that."</p><p>"Hey, come on now! He didn't do anything wrong!" Sebastian protests, "and neither did we. All we did was take a selfie, do you want to see?"</p><p>"I want you to tell me what this is all about!!" Nicola yells, slamming the table with the palm of her hand. "Were you forcing him to lose? Is it punishment, a hazing-"</p><p>Kurt clasps his hands over his face and sighs. "Julian, please tell her," he mumbles. "This is so stupid."</p><p>Julian lets out a long-suffering sigh. "Okay, you got us. We confess!" he says, clapping the inside of his wrists together and holding them out to her as if he's offering himself up to be handcuffed. "We<em> made </em>him lose on purpose. Because we are his best friends, and we enjoy making him suffer." </p><p>With a little wink, he adds in a low whisper: "It's a sex thing."</p><p>"Julian!" Kurt can't take it anymore. He turns to Nicola and gives her an imploring look. </p><p>"Please, it was a joke. It was all a joke. Brian's getting married and Julian here thought it was funny to make him act out that saying ‘unlucky at cards, lucky in love'. That's all it is."</p><p>Nicola stares at him. "You made your friend lose money...as a way to wish him luck on his nuptials?" she repeats slowly.</p><p>"Ding ding ding! By George, I think she's got it!" Julian says jovially. </p><p>"So, what? You are all trust fund kids who got bored?" Nicola says, now sounding more annoyed than angry. "A regular bachelor party with booze and a stripper wasn't good enough for you?"</p><p>"Been there, done that," Julian says. "Though for the record, Kurt was against it this whole time. Then again, he's also not a trust fund kid, so…"</p><p>The other officer looks at them in turn. "Which one of you is Kurt?"</p><p>Kurt swallows. "Me, sir."</p><p>"He only lost 5K," Nicola confirms, and inside, Kurt winces. <em>Only? </em></p><p>"And he actually made good bets. Just bad luck, I guess. It happens."</p><p>The man locks eyes with him. "So why are <em>you</em> here with these idiots, then?" he asks.</p><p>Kurt breathes in sharply. "I...I'm in love with one of the idiots, sir," he admits sheepishly, glancing at Sebastian, who shoots him a lopsided grin.</p><p>Nicola sighs and slowly shakes her head. "Okay," she decides. "I believe you-"</p><p>"Thank you!!" Carter starts, but she shakes her head. </p><p>"Only because it is<em> so stupid</em> that no one could make this up," she finishes, then looks at her colleague. "I think we've wasted enough time here. You can let Mr Wilton go." She turns to the others. "Next time boys, do us all a favour and just go to a stripclub, alright? It's cheaper, too."</p><p>"<em>That</em> depends on the club," Julian wisecracks, but Kurt shakes his head at him. In his opinion, they should be happy they are not kicked out of the hotel. The guard escorts them to the door, and as they step outside, Brian stumbles out of the adjoining room, his jacket draped over his arm. He is grinning from ear to ear. </p><p>"Jules!" he lets out, opening his arms wide. "My brother!" He laughs and encloses him in a bear hug. "That was amazing! Did you plan all this?"</p><p>Julian looks at the others over his shoulder and shrugs. </p><p>"I mean, getting escorted out of the casino by two guards, the interrogation, the good cop/bad cop thing- man, it felt so <em>real</em>! I thought they were gonna have me arrested for sure!"</p><p>"We spared no expense," Carter chips in, clapping him on the shoulder. "The blue dress was a good distraction huh?"</p><p>"I really thought she was into me! Turns out she was feeling my pulse!" Brian says enthusiastically. "She told me all about the physiology of gambling and how what I was doing went against all logic-"</p><p>"She could feel my pulse any time," Carter leers. Kurt is tempted to remind him he was the only who almost broke down when Nicola got fierce, but decides not to. It's probably better to let Brian think it was all a big game.</p><p>"And you!" Brian turns to face him. "All this time I was thinking ‘oh man, why didn't we listen to Kurt, now we're in so much trouble!'" He laughs in exhilaration. "No wonder you were accepted at the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts! Your part was the best of all, I felt genuinely bad for dragging you out here."</p><p>Kurt offers him a thin lipped smile. "It would have saved you 70K," he reminds him.</p><p>"But the surprise was priceless, wasn't it?" Sebastian jokes, nudging Kurt to play along. He wonders if Brian will ever hear the truth of this, or if it'll go into history as part of Julian's genius stag party legend.</p><p>"It was indeed," Brian replies, his cheeks still flushed, "And now I really need a drink!"</p><p>"Amen!" Julian shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. "To the bar!!"</p><p>*****</p><p>Apparently, gambling isn't the only thing Julian is happy to overspend on. He has booked a private booth for them and has an open tab at the casino bar. The first thing he ordered when they sat down was a bottle of <em>Lagavulin 16</em> and he, Sebastian, Brian and Carter have been steadily drinking their way through it for the last two hours.</p><p>They had offered Kurt a glass but his previous experiences with hard liquor were still vividly in his mind and he ordered a glass of wine instead. Julian scoffed at the <em>glass</em> and told the waiter to bring a bottle. It tastes smooth and mild like only a very good vintage does, and before Kurt knows it, Sebastian is refilling his glass.</p><p>Several drinks later, Kurt no longer worries about the 70K or the winnings he could have had at the roulette wheel if he hadn't taken that ‘double or nothing' bet. He doesn't worry about anything anymore. He's in a private booth of the hotel bar, with three of the most handsome men in the world (and <em>Carter</em>, but the alcohol helps to ignore him and his jokes about his wife), having a good time. In three days he will be a guest at a wedding he helped organize with a budget he had never thought possible, and dance with a boy he never thought he'd have. This is a moment he wants to remember forever, and not spend it worrying about something as mundane as money. Maybe the thoroughbreds' attitude is rubbing off on him a little. </p><p>He glances to his side, where Sebastian is having a conversation with Brian about restaurants in New York. It's interesting, and at any other given time Kurt would be all ears, but right now he is busy admiring Sebastian's mouth as he talks, eagerly anticipating the moments Sebastian takes a sip of whiskey, sighing longingly as his tongue darts out to lick his lips. His eyes caress down Sebastian's face and come to rest at his throat, where his hickey still stands out dark against his skin. Suddenly, Kurt loses his patience with the restaurant talk. He shifts closer and puts his hand on the back of Sebastian's neck. </p><p>"I want to go up to our room," he whispers in his boyfriend's ear. To accentuate his words, he splays his fingers, his thumb ghosting over the fresh bruise, pressing lightly. He feels rather than hears the low moan in the back of Sebastian's throat, and he smiles lazily, pleased at getting the effect he wanted. Sebastian turns his head to look at him, but Kurt doesn't move away. Their faces are only inches apart. Kurt can smell the alcohol on his breath, see himself reflected in Sebastian's stormy eyes. </p><p>"Okay," Sebastian wrangles out, his voice a little rough. His conversation with Brian is forgotten, but Brian is looking down into his empty glass seemingly puzzled at where the drink has gone, and Kurt doesn't think he minds if they excuse themselves. He moves away and looks at Julian and Carter.</p><p>"It's late, and I'm tired," he declares. "We're going to our room." </p><p>Julian nods. "I think we'll be down here for a while longer," he offers. "You boys can take your time...brushing your teeth."</p><p>Carter chuckles knowingly. "Yeah. Have fun <em>sleeping</em>." He snorts and picks up his drink, hiding his grin behind his glass. </p><p>Kurt ignores him. He knows everyone knows what they are going to do, and he doesn't care. He gets up. The floor sways a little under his feet, but he corrects his weight easily, and holds his hand out for Sebastian.</p><p>"Thank you guys again for my party," Brian says, sounding remarkably sober. "I had a great time."</p><p>"Me too," Kurt admits. "Thank you for including me."</p><p>Brian waves his hand dismissively. "Hey, we'll all be brothers some day, right?" He beams a smile at Sebastian. </p><p>"Not me, Julian's not my type," Carter remarks, "and I'm already married." They all ignore him. </p><p>*****</p><p>Someone must have thought about the design of the hotel with inebriated guests in mind, because the bar is conveniently close to the elevators, and it takes only a few slightly uneven steps to stumble from their booth to the gold-finished doors. Kurt is still holding Sebastian's hand as they walk, and the both of them are leaning towards each other a little until their shoulders almost touch, like the weight of their clasped hands is pulling them down. They encounter a few other guests on their way to the bar, and every time they do, Kurt tries to smile at them innocently, like he is <em>not</em> incredibly drunk and even more horny, and is not dragging his boyfriend up to his room for a private party. </p><p>He's not sure it's working; in fact, he's pretty sure it isn't, because most of them avoid eye contact with him in that semi-embarrassed, semi-disgusted way people pretend not to notice intoxicated strangers. </p><p>"You know, for having spent the last couple of hours at a casino you really have no poker face," Sebastian comments lazily from the side as he presses the elevator button. Kurt is too far into his buzz to feel attacked and just nods. </p><p>"Maybe I <em>like</em> that everyone can see what I want to do with you," he says, his words a little slurred, but clearly not unfocused enough to be lost on Sebastian, because his eyes widen a little and he licks his lips. </p><p>"And what is that-" he starts, but the elevator doors open and a group of people steps out. </p><p>Sebastian pulls at their clasped hands to draw Kurt to the side to make room, and the unexpected move nearly topples Kurt; he falls against Sebastian's front, splaying one hand on his chest to steady himself. They lock eyes. The group pays them no attention as they shuffle out, eager to go to the bar, and for a moment Kurt and Sebastian just stand there in front of the open elevator doors, staring at each other while their bodies are fused together. </p><p>Kurt feels Sebastian drawing a breath under his hand, feels the warmth of his body radiating through his clothes. He studies the minute details of his face backlit by the light from the elevator, the shadow of his long eyelashes, the thin blue circle at the edge of his irises and the small brown flecks that dot the green- for a moment, Kurt nearly makes himself crack up by the thought that he even has freckles in his <em>eyes</em>, but then smothers the laugh that is about to bubble up by pressing his lips hard against Sebastian's. He drops his hand from Sebastian's chest, the only barrier that was still holding them apart, and wraps his arms around his neck instead, drawing him even closer. </p><p>Sebastian makes that sound in his throat again that Kurt has come to associate with frustrated, repressed longing trying to burst free. It seems to express the dichotomy of <em>‘not here, not now / god help me it has to be now and here or I shall surely perish'</em> and he relishes in it, wants to feel that surge of power, the headiness of knowing it's <em>him</em> that is making Sebastian feel like this, it is <em>him</em> that is making the man pressed against him quiver with need. He pulls back little, and Sebastian follows, chasing his lips, his eyes still closed in a concentrated frown - he <em>needs</em>, alright. Kurt pulls away further, teasing, his smirk growing. As Sebastian opens his eyes, Kurt pointedly holds out a hand over the closing elevator door's sensor and raises an eyebrow. </p><p>"Oh," Sebastian laughs a little, and follows Kurt into the small, bright cabin. The three walls enclosing them are mirrors, reflecting them endlessly in a twinkling panorama of spotlights shining down on them from the ceiling. Kurt presses the button for their floor and turns around to face Sebastian. </p><p>He watches as his boyfriend stalks forward, backing him up against his own reflection. A gilded barre runs along the sides of the elevator as a distancer from the mirrors. It's installed at a perfect height for Kurt's hips, and he lowers his weight against it comfortably, letting his head drop back against the cold glass to look up at Sebastian. From the corners of his eyes, he can see a recursive row of Sebastians and Kurts paired up, both audience and actors, and it feels like they are on their own private little stage. </p><p>Sebastian closes his hands around the railing on either side of Kurt's hips, bracketing him in, and presses in closer, slotting his body against Kurt's and nuzzling the skin just below Kurt's ear. The upward movement of the elevator seems to press them even closer together. A shiver runs down Kurt's spine. With Sebastian holding his body in place against the mirror, a particular genre of fantasies is triggered inside his mind, and where his inebriated body only had a vague plan of his needs earlier (1. get upstairs; 2. get laid), it is now supplying specific scenarios. Before he can tell Sebastian all about them, the elevator jolts to a halt and the doors open. An elderly couple steps inside.</p><p>For a moment Kurt thinks Sebastian is going to keep him there, trapped against the railing - and a part of him doesn't mind because it is where he wants to be - but then Sebastian takes one hand down and angles his body a quarter turn away from him; their sides are still touching where Sebastian's other hand is gripping the railing next to Kurt. The couple stand as close to the doors as they can, their backs turned to them, and Kurt is tempted to pull Sebastian back against him. </p><p>"I told you the casino wasn't on this floor," the woman said, sounding irritated. "The receptionist said it was behind the lobby."</p><p>Kurt can feel Sebastian's hand let go of the railing and splay against his lower back instead.</p><p>"No," the man argues stubbornly, "she said it was on the fifth floor, I heard her distinctly."</p><p>Sebastian's hand slides lower, teasingly slow, tightening a little as it reaches the swell of Kurt's ass.</p><p>"The second dining room is on the fifth floor," the woman snaps, "and you haven't heard anything distinctly in years." </p><p>"<em>Down!</em>" Kurt yelps as Sebastian's hand cups his cheek, and he quickly clears his throat. The couple look around at him. "It's <em>downstairs</em>," he says quickly. "The casino. Ground floor."</p><p>The woman nods primly and makes a show for her partner to press the button. The elevator still rises, of course, because Kurt and Sebastian had pressed first. The man studies the lit button. "I wonder who's on top," he muses.</p><p>Kurt freezes, a dozen replies flashing in his mind ranging from ‘none of your business' to ‘wouldn't you like to know', until he realizes the man means the <em>penthouse</em>. Mercifully, before he can say anything, they reach their stop. </p><p>"Good luck at the casino," Kurt offers, and then quickly takes Sebastian's hand and they stumble out of the elevator. As the doors close, Sebastian snorts loudly. </p><p>"<em>I wonder who's on top</em>," he echoes, mocking the man's voice, and laughs. He pulls their keycard out of his pocket and holds it against the touch pad. </p><p>Kurt smiles half-heartedly; he has already forgotten the couple in the elevator and his temporary embarrassment, and as soon as Sebastian opens the door, Kurt practically pushes them through, kicks the door closed with his heel, and grabs the front of Sebastian's shirt, yanking him towards himself and against his lips. </p><p>It lacks finesse but serves its purpose, because Sebastian immediately kicks back into gear as well, wrapping his arms around him tightly and eagerly returning the kiss. "Tell me what you want," he breathes against Kurt's lips, sucking and biting Kurt's lower lip, the corner of his mouth, anything Kurt offers him.</p><p>It's Kurt's turn to moan needily as his visions from the elevator return. "I want a one-night-stand with you," he whispers giddily.</p><p>As Kurt's words trickle through the haze of lust, Sebastian pulls away a little. He looks taken aback. "What do you mean?" he asks. He is panting a little, but his hands momentarily stop pawing Kurt's back.</p><p>Kurt smiles. "I want you," he starts again, and leans in so he can whisper in his ear, which has the added advantage of not having to look him in the eye, "to fuck me like this is the only chance you'll ever get. Take everything you want from me. I want you to do the things you did to other boys when there were no strings attached. I want you to show me what it's like-" he pauses, "when you go on auto-pilot."</p><p>"Kurt," Sebastian breathes, and it sounds so broken that for a moment, Kurt is afraid he has gone too far, that this little fantasy of his has pushed the wrong buttons, activated the wrong memories. But as he looks into Sebastian's eyes, he can see that is not the case. </p><p>Sebastian's eyes are blown with lust, and it looks like he is only holding himself back now because he needs to check just one last time. "Are you sure?"</p><p>"I'm sure," Kurt whispers. "We can re-attach the strings in the morning…"</p><p>This seems to be enough for Sebastian, because suddenly he is back, his mouth on Kurt's throat, his hands, hips, and the rest of his body maneuvering Kurt backwards up against the door. He slides a knee between Kurt's legs, pressing in until Kurt is nearly seated on his thigh, and Kurt feels how hard he is. His breath catches in his throat and he groans low in the back of his throat.</p><p>Sebastian grazes the sensitive skin of Kurt's neck with his teeth and sucks hard, giving back for the mark Kurt placed on him earlier. Kurt's body feels like it's on fire, all of his senses singing. He wants to kiss back and nudges Sebastian's forehead that is pressed against his cheek, but Sebastian does not budge. His body still holds Kurt in place against the door, his hands beginning to roam down his hips again. </p><p>With daring most definitely fuelled by the alcohol, Kurt pushes back, using his chest and hips to try and launch Sebastian off of him so he can retaliate and not just take it, immobilized against the door. He manages for a moment, just long enough for Sebastian to look into his eyes and recognise his struggle for what it is- a game Kurt doesn't want to win; a challenge. </p><p>Sebastian smirks and places his hands flat on Kurt's pecs, pushing him back against the door, following it up with his body almost immediately; he catches the grunt of the impact from Kurt's mouth with his lips, muffling the sound with his tongue. He pins him to the hard surface with his mouth and his hips, his hands tightening on Kurt's shirt until the fabric spans tightly under his fists. With one swift movement, Sebastian brings his hands out to either side, yanking Kurt's shirt open. Buttons ricochet off the walls and the floor.</p><p>"Mmmpf!" Kurt protests against Sebastian's lips, more out of a sense of loyalty to his wardrobe than actual outrage (because, <em>oh my god</em>, this actually taps into his fantasies, despite all of his bad associations with being pushed against surfaces and held roughly for a kiss - the brain is strange that way. To be loved messily and passionately, regardless of the consequences, to give in, completely; that is what he craves right now.)</p><p>Sebastian huffs out a breath through his nose. "I'll pay for it," he grunts, his erection now almost painfully digging into Kurt's hip. </p><p><em>Yeah, you will</em>, Kurt thinks, but he can't say anything, because Sebastian's tongue is in his mouth, invading, pushing further back in a move that is highly suggestive of what else he wants from Kurt later on. As they kiss, he slides his hands inside Kurt's shirt, sliding it off his arms easily and letting it fall to the floor. When he is done plundering Kurt's mouth and comes up for air, he looks down on Kurt's naked chest. Kurt is panting, but makes no move to cover himself or shy away from Sebastian's eyes. His boyfriend's eyes rove over his skin, and Kurt shivers a little as he remembers the things Sebastian promised he'd do when they talked on the phone. To remind him of that, Kurt brings up his hand and rubs his palm over one of his nipples, giving him what he hopes is an inviting smile. The effect is immediate.</p><p>Sebastian's eyes glitter, and he catches Kurt's wrist, closing his hand around it and pulling his hand away from his chest. For good measure, he captures Kurt's other hand as well. Then he licks his lips and leans down, still keeping Kurt's hands away from himself, and his mouth latches on the sensitive pebbled nub, running his tongue over it, lapping at first and then flicking it with the tip and breathing out over the wet skin. The little shock of cold makes Kurt gasp, but he has no time to do anything more than suck in a hasty breath before Sebastian moves to the other side, worrying at the skin and grazing his teeth over it. </p><p>"Oh god," Kurt sighs, and he feels a huff of breath cooling the saliva on his skin as Sebastian chuckles. </p><p>"You can call me Sebastian," he jokes idly, before rubbing his face against Kurt's abs, breathing in deeply and licking at the skin just below his belly button. Kurt nearly yelps in reply, testing Sebastian's grip on his wrists and thrusting his hips forward, but then Sebastian pulls away and straightens up, letting go of his hands. Kurt's hands fall slack by his sides, their purpose forgotten if they have nothing to struggle against. Sebastian cups his cheek with one warm hand and brings his mouth close to his ear. </p><p>"I want to fuck you right here against the wall," he says, panting a little, his voice deep and his breath hot on Kurt's neck.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt whines. Sebastian's hand ghosts down and closes over Kurt's groin, squeezing softly over his jeans and making Kurt ache with want for the heat of his palm, his mouth- anything.</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he continues in a whisper, the hand on Kurt's cheek caressing down until it's wrapped around his throat. Kurt's breath catches and a wave of arousal crashes over him. He whimpers. "For me to strip you down, lift you up and fuck you against the wall. Fuck you so hard you can't walk straight tomorrow?"</p><p><em>"Yes,"</em> Kurt whines. "Yes Sebastian, please…"</p><p>"Please is good," Sebastian says, his grip around Kurt's throat tightening slightly. His eyes bore down into Kurt's and Kurt feels a little as though he might come right there and then because <em>fuck. Every particle of him is longing to please Sebastian. </em></p><p>"Please Bastian," Kurt begs. </p><p>Sebastian growls and moves back in to capture Kurt's lips with his own, the hand on his throat relaxing. His other hand stops its constant stroking over where Kurt is straining against the harsh material of his jeans. Kurt whimpers at the loss until both of Sebastian's hands move to cup his ass, lifting him up with ease and pressing him further into the wall. </p><p>Kurt gasps and wraps his legs around Sebastian's waist, his arms coming up to clutch tightly to Sebastian's shoulders. All he can think of is <em>yes, yes, yes</em>, the weight of Sebastian pinning him down, grounding him, assuring him that it is allowed to give up control here- that he does not need to police his words or his movements, and he can just give in, and give Sebastian anything he wants.</p><p>Sebastian thrusts his hips forward, the length of his cock rubbing deliciously against Kurt's ass. He breaks the kiss, presses his forehead against Kurt's, and sucks in a deep breath.</p><p>"We can't," he says desperately and Kurt whines. "I don't trust my brother to stay downstairs for long, knowing what we are doing."</p><p>The fog of lust clears from Kurt's brain for a moment as he processes Sebastian's words and thinks that maybe he is giving Julian too little credit. It seems unlikely that he would really come up to disturb them, but unless Sebastian is packing a condom and lube in his back pocket, they would have had to stop to get supplies eventually anyway. (As much as Kurt enjoys blowjobs and mutual touching, he really, really just wants to be fucked right now- and from the insistent press of Sebastian's groin against his ass, it's clear those are Sebastian's intentions too) so now is as good a time to relocate as any. He wants to tell Sebastian all of this and more, but all that comes out of his mouth is: </p><p>"Our room has walls too." </p><p>Sebastian chuckles and kisses him, then schools his face into a leer. "It does. Four, I think." </p><p>He secures his grip on Kurt and steps back from the wall, carrying him effortlessly. "It also has a big bed, a desk and a leather couch. I'm feeling generous tonight and I am gonna let you pick one."</p><p>Kurt shifts in his arms, clutching his thighs a little firmer around Sebastian's waist so he doesn't slide down, and kisses him deeply. "Who says we need only <em>one</em>?" He whispers into the kiss, raising an eyebrow and giving Sebastian a lidded look. </p><p>His boyfriend stares at him for a moment, then grins. "Okay." </p><p>Kurt can't believe that this word, once so innocuous, suddenly sounds so debauched - he's <em>okay </em>with it; he's okay with <em>anything </em>Kurt may ask of him tonight. The possibilities are endless.</p><p>Sebastian carries Kurt towards their room, and Kurt vaguely wonders if this is the gay alternative of being carried bridal style. Before he has to explain the joke, he latches his lips onto Sebastian's throat, worrying the skin over his hickey.</p><p>Sebastian moans into the press of his lips, his hand fumbling behind him for the door handle. He finds it and they tumble into the room. Kurt giggles a little as they almost lose their footing- they are still incredibly drunk, both on booze and each other, and he can't stop his laughter from bubbling out. But Sebastian is laughing too, and Kurt is glad that for this moment. As much as he wants Sebastian to let loose and give in to the lust that they've been keeping at bay all summer long- he's glad that <em>his</em> Sebastian is still here. The one he can laugh with. His best friend.</p><p>Sebastian carefully sets Kurt down on the floor and gives him an almost shy look as he closes the door. Kurt looks around at the spacious room. Sebastian's overnight bag and his small suitcase stand by the bed on either side- the same sides they have slept on together at the beach house, Kurt on the right closer to the door, Sebastian left by the window. The sheets are a little rumpled from their earlier make-out session when Kurt gave Sebastian the hickey. The rest of the room is still untouched. One side of the mirrored wardrobe is pushed open to reveal clothes hangers and a pants steam press. The desk is empty, save for a small notepad with the hotel's logo and a desk lamp. Plump, plush cushions sit on a generous leather loveseat; behind it, the window front shows off the cityscape below them, filled with lights. They are so high up there is no need to draw the blinds for privacy, and suddenly Kurt knows what he wants.</p><p>He walks over to the loveseat and picks up the pillows, throwing them to the side. He runs his hand over the smooth leather, dipping a finger in the button-tufted detailing and following the folds. It feels wonderful under his fingertips, and he wants to feel it against the rest of his skin, too. He turns around to look at Sebastian, who has taken his toiletry kit out of his bag and is now holding a travel bottle of lube and a strip of condoms. </p><p>"Found something to start with?" Sebastian asks, grinning. </p><p>"Yes," Kurt says, and keeping his eyes on his boyfriend, starts unbuttoning his jeans. As he begins to shimmy them down his thighs, Sebastian's gaze flicks to the windows. </p><p>"Don't you want to close the blinds?" he asks.</p><p>
"No," Kurt says simply, and continues pulling the cuffs off his legs. He steps out of his jeans and puts his hands on his hips. "For what this room costs, we might as well both enjoy the view." </p><p>Sebastian's eyes go a little wider and he stalks towards Kurt, throwing their supplies on the loveseat carelessly to free his hands. He grabs Kurt's face between both of them and kisses him hard, backing him up until his calves hit the seat. "Your mouth will get you in serious trouble some day," he warns Kurt, his lips dragging against Kurt's as he speaks.</p><p>"Good," Kurt breathes, because this is the kind of trouble he seeks. All of his life, his words have been his weapon and armour- for tonight, he wants them to be his bait. He fully intends to draw a reaction from his boyfriend, to use everything he has to make Sebastian see that it's okay to lose the tight reign he's had on himself with Kurt until now. </p><p>He reaches for Sebastian's jeans, roughly unzips them, and pulls them down together with his underwear. Sebastian's dick springs free, standing hard up against his lower stomach. Kurt smiles and lets himself fall back onto the couch, bringing his face on one level with Sebastian's hips. He licks his lips suggestively and looks up into Sebastian's eyes. </p><p>Sebastian sighs longingly, reaching for his face to brush the pad of his thumb over Kurt's lower lip. He nods subtly, sliding his hand to the back of Kurt's neck and pulling him closer. </p><p>Kurt opens his mouth and lets out a warm breath over the head of Sebastian's cock. Then he leers. "Is this serious trouble?" he asks innocently, and before Sebastian can answer, takes him into his mouth as far as he can. Sebastian is warm and musky, pressing heavy against his tongue and nudging the back of his throat. <em>Thank you, bucket list nr 188,</em> Kurt thinks vaguely, and nearly makes himself laugh, which is a very bad idea when it's hard enough to breathe already, but he manages to hold it in at the last moment, constricting his throat a little. </p><p>"Oh god!" Sebastian curses above him, his hand tightening at the back of Kurt's neck, and now Kurt really does need to laugh (and breathe). He pulls off, and looks up.</p><p>"My name's Kurt."</p><p>Sebastian groans. It's the lamest joke, but the frustrated sound Sebastian just made is so ridiculous it feels like Kurt has never heard anything more hilarious in his life. He chuckles, enjoying his own tease while Sebastian pretend-glares at him, and as he comes off it, they just grin at each other for a moment. Then Sebastian shakes his head as if he can't believe this is happening. "I'll have you know that I am usually a lot more suave with my one-night-stands," he says pointedly. "You need to take this more seriously or you'll kill my vibe."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Sorry," he offers, not feeling sorry at all. "Will this help?" Kurt grins wickedly up at him and wraps a long fingered hand around Sebastian's shaft, pumping him a few times in the way he's learning makes Sebastian's knees weak. Sure enough, Sebastian lets out a high pitched whimper and closes his eyes, lips darting out to lick his lips and his hips jutting forward into Kurt's grip. Kurt uses his mouth again then, tongue flicking out again to lick and tease around the sensitive head, lapping at the precome that is dripping from the end. He wraps his lips around and sucks happily, hollowing his cheeks and running his tongue up the underside. </p><p>Sebastian is shuddering above him and it gives Kurt a heady feeling that he is able to render <em>Sebastian Smythe: King of the One Night Stand and Lord of the Innuendo</em>, to a bumbling mess with his skills. After such a long time of being told that he's not good enough, this moment right here, proves everyone wrong.</p><p>He doesn't think much after that, just focuses on his task of working Sebastian over and over with his lips, mouth, tongue and hand, spurred on by the constant chant of, "fuck yes, fuck fuck fuck…"</p><p>"Mmm, later perhaps if you're lucky," he teases as he pulls back for air and Sebastian's reaction is instant. The hand that had found its way into Kurt's hair tightens and stops Kurt from moving forwards again. </p><p>"No, Kurt, I want you <em>now</em>," Sebastian states. His usually green eyes are black, pupils blown out so much Kurt can barely see the irises. His tone does not leave room for argument or further teasing, and again, Kurt finds himself desperate to give Sebastian what he wants.</p><p>He sits up and rolls down his underwear, briefly lifting his hips off the couch to strip his boxer briefs off his legs, and drops them on the floor. He is now as naked as Sebastian, his cock standing to attention. </p><p>Sebastian picks up the bottle of lube from the couch. "Give me your hand," he says, and kneels in front of the couch. Without thinking twice, Kurt offers him his hand, palm up. 
</p><p>Sebastian slowly squeezes some gel onto Kurt's hand, puts the bottle down, and clasps his own hand over Kurt's, sliding their palms together.</p><p>He brings his own slick hand down, taking hold of Kurt's dick and pumping it a few times, spreading the lube over his skin.</p><p>"What…?" Kurt starts, "I thought you-" fingers. </p><p>"I know what I am doing," Sebastian simply says, and Kurt nods, not questioning it.</p><p>
With his other hand, Sebastian takes hold of Kurt's wrist and brings Kurt's hand down between his own legs too, making him rub his lubed fingers over Kurt's entrance. Kurt sighs. It's a bit like the way he touched himself when they were on the phone.</p><p>Sebastian nudges Kurt's hand forward gently, slowly pushing Kurt's fingers into himself. Kurt sucks in a breath, trying to relax around the intrusion. He pulls his legs up, resting his feet on the seat so he can tilt his pelvis, pushing up against their joined hands, and Sebastian pushes his fingers in deeper, studying his face. Kurt curls his fingers in, knowing where to press and twist, and he lets out a soft whimper. It isn't nearly enough, and yet he is almost shaking from the sensation of Sebastian guiding his hand. Sebastian begins pumping Kurt's own fingers into him, watching him intently, now with a fascinated smile on his lips. Kurt's eyes begin their fight to stay open; he wants to see, very much, but at the same time the sensations and the mindtwist that is going on, of Sebastian actually making him fuck himself on his own fingers is making his eyes want to roll back and let his body give in to the feeling. </p><p>"Hey, don't close your eyes," Sebastian reminds him, his voice a little rough. "I thought you wanted to see the view?"</p><p>Kurt's eyes fly open and are drawn to Sebastian's dick, already leaking a little. </p><p>"Not <em>that </em>view," Sebastian says, smirking, and he jerks his chin towards the window. "Come on," he whispers, releasing Kurt's hand. "Turn around."</p><p>Kurt lets his fingers slip out, and with slightly unsteady legs, he lifts himself up on his knees. Sebastian is unwrapping a condom, and Kurt turns around, spreading his knees as wide as he can on the seat and resting his stomach against the backrest. He can see the cars drive down below and small twinkling lights of airplanes overhead - there are so many people all around them, and no one knows what is going on in this room, behind the glass.</p><p>Sebastian rises to his feet and lines himself up behind him, putting his hands on Kurt's hips and one knee on the seat next to him to keep his balance. He breaches him, sliding in easily, Kurt's body ready to accept him. He presses on and <em>on</em> until he is flush against Kurt's back, pinning him against the leather, and Kurt gasps for breath. </p><p>Sebastian's hands tighten on his hips and he pulls out a little only to slam back again and <em>yes</em>, this is what Kurt needed- he is pushing his knees out further, curling in his toes and letting his head hang over the edge of the couch, letting go. With Sebastian's hands on his hips, he can move Kurt whichever way he wants, change the angle, push him around, and Kurt lets him find the best position for them both, letting his usually so tense body go slack and open, welcoming him inside. With every thrust, his hips are pushed against the backrest, and he is tilting his hips until everything feels perfect and black begins to pulse behind his eyelids. </p><p>Sebastian is breathing hard, now resting his forehead against the back of Kurt's shoulder as he fucks into him roughly, the grip on his hips nearly hard enough to bruise. "Oh fuck, Kurt, take it," he mutters, "oh god, yes-"</p><p>It's not worth it to make the joke again, and Kurt isn't even coherent enough to- all he can reply with is agreement, wrenching out a <em>yes, yes, yes</em> with every thrust until even that feels like too much and he just clenches his jaw and holds on for dear life. The only thing keeping him from collapsing into the couch is Sebastian, and his orgasm is building, ready to wrack through him- then Sebastian lifts him away from the slippery leather and pauses, still pressed in deep. </p><p>"Not yet," he growls, "not yet, Kurt." He closes his lips on the back of Kurt's neck, setting his teeth in the skin, and his hands hold Kurt's hips immobile as he begins to suck dark wine-red marks into Kurt's skin, prickling and sharp, marking him over and over until Kurt is shivering with need. He knows what it will look like, knows exactly what message it spells out, and he needs it, needs this to be visible later- not to the world but to himself for days to come.</p><p>"Please," he begs again, over and over in any language he knows, "please, Bas- I am yours. I am all yours, please make me come."</p><p>Finally, it is enough for Sebastian, and he starts moving again, pulling out almost all the way before slamming back in and starting up a pace again. </p><p>In an embarrassing moment of utter need and an irresponsible disrespect from the craftsmanship of the furniture, Kurt reaches down between them to align himself with one of the tufts, his lubed dick sliding deliciously against the folds in the leather, effectively ruining it with stains that will never come out. He doesn't care- and as Sebastian draws in and out, pushing the air from his lungs in hard grunts, he ruts against the couch, and finally, his hips begin to stutter into his release, and Sebastian lets him.</p><p>Kurt comes over the couch, the slip and slide even wetter now as Sebastian keeps on fucking him until Kurt feels raw and his legs begin to tremble from holding himself up. Sebastian slams home one more time, keeping him pinned to the couch as he bites down on Kurt's shoulder, muffling his sound. He keeps them there for a moment, Kurt trapped between Sebastian's sweaty front and the sticky couch, and Kurt can't even begin to think about how tacky it will feel to unstick- he just wants to pass out right where they are, with Sebastian still inside of him. </p><p>Eventually, though, a shiver runs through him as the leather cools under him, and Sebastian can feel it. He carefully pulls out and straightens away from him. Kurt's back feels cold, his body empty, and he immediately misses Sebastian's warmth. He turns around, and Sebastian leans over to kiss his lips. "Stay here, I'll get a towel," he says, and he pads to the ensuite. </p><p>Kurt shivers again, his body slack and spent against the couch. He hears water running, and then Sebastian is back, a warm washcloth in his hand, and he wipes it gently over Kurt's skin. Kurt feels a wave of gratitude and realizes that if this really was a no-strings-attached deal, Sebastian wouldn't be doing this, wouldn't be staying for the clean-up, for the after care. He hopes Sebastian realizes this too- that this evening may have felt a bit like letting auto-pilot take over, but in the end, they have also laughed together, played and teased, and simply enjoyed each other's body with abandon- while not abandoning each other. </p><p>When Sebastian is done cleaning him, he pulls Kurt gently backwards until he's sitting against Sebastian's chest on the end of the love seat, away from the mess he's made (and <em>God</em>, Kurt can't believe he did that - it's really only just one step above American Pie level. He makes a mental note to leave a big tip when they go. He's afraid it's going to need treatment -or worse; replacement - and the Smythes may be paying a lot of money for the suite, but he doubts it trickles through to the cleaning staff). </p><p>Sebastian hugs him tightly and presses soft kisses to his hairline. Kurt closes his eyes and sighs. The world is still spinning a little, but here, in the arms of the man he loves, he feels safe. </p><p>"Do you want to go to bed?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian pulls up the corner of his mouth, barely repressing a yawn. "I thought you wanted to try all the surfaces?" he jokes feebly, still nuzzling against Kurt's skin. "I'm sure I'll be fine in a little while."</p><p>"Oh, I do," Kurt says lightly, "but the bed's a surface too, and I would like to lie down and stretch my legs a little." He knows that he'll probably fall asleep as soon as he hits the mattress, and Sebastian will too, but it's okay. They have more than one night together, after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Time for a snack!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: The Flash; thank you for providing us with hours and hours of Grant Gustin acting, giving us his body language to work with as well as giffable moments.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kurt wakes up, he once again finds Sebastian looking at him. The wonderment and disbelief that was in his eyes those early days at the beach house has mellowed; it has matured into something warmer, like he is no longer amazed to find Kurt in his arms, but he is proud and grateful instead. It makes Kurt feel wanted, cherished, and that is the perfect way to wake up. He stretches, taking stock of his body's needs. His muscles protest a little (no surprise there), but he is not sore, and his head feels surprisingly focused. He smiles and leans over to press a dry kiss against Sebastian's lips.</p><p>"Morning," he whispers.</p><p>"Hey." Sebastian smiles. "How do you feel?"</p><p>"Honestly? Better than I thought I would," Kurt admits, loosening his neck by rolling his head from side to side. When he looks back at Sebastian, he can see his boyfriend is looking a little troubled.</p><p>"Because of the alcohol!" he quickly explains. "Not because of <em>you</em>! I expected to be more hungover!"</p><p>Sebastian furrows his brow and presses his lips together in a puckered, bashful smile. "Oh. Okay."</p><p>Kurt raises himself up onto his elbows and gives him a critic look. "Were you worried?" he asks.</p><p>"I don't know," Sebastan hedges, but Kurt knows his facial expressions by now, and he just waits. Sebastian rolls onto his back and looks at the ceiling. "A little," he admits.</p><p>Kurt carefully reaches out to lay a hand on his chest. "The details are a little blurry around the edges, but I do remember being quite vocal about my approval of what we did."</p><p>Sebastian covers his hand with his own and presses it against his skin. Kurt can feel his heart pound in his chest.</p><p>"Yeah, I know. It's just...usually I don't have to face the consequences of my actions in the morning." He pauses. "I know you liked it last night - but I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it in the light of day."</p><p>Kurt considers his words carefully. Physically, all he feels is relaxed, thoroughly satisfied,<em> well-loved</em>. But he can hear the underlying worries - clearly Sebastian seems to think there is something he needs to apologize for, that maybe he went too far or too hard, knew some things a little too well.</p><p>So how <em>does </em>he feel having seen this other side of his boyfriend, a side of Sebastian others already knew, random men they may run into back in Ohio?</p><p>Kurt knows he made quite a few cutting remarks about Sebastian's promiscuity back in school, but all of that came from a place of insecurity and inexperience. He is reminded of their words on the phone - since meeting him, Kurt has discovered a new side to himself too, and Sebastian has set him free to explore it. And what better way to do that than with someone who is already familiar with it? Someone who knows what to do?</p><p>"I feel like I have the best of both worlds," he says honestly. "And we crossed more than one thing off my bucket list…"</p><p>Sebastian scoffs, shaking his head a little. Kurt chews his lip, waiting for him to connect the dots. When he does, he gives Kurt an incredulous look.</p><p>"<em>Seriously?</em>" he asks. "You have a kinky bucketlist and I am only hearing about this<em> now</em>? What did we cross off? And what else is on it?"</p><p>Kurt chuckles. "It's not a <em>kinky</em> bucket list. It's not all sex. Some things are actually harmless. Number 33 - visit Oscar Wilde's gravesite at Père Lachaise in Paris…"</p><p>"I've done that," Sebastian says idly. "Tell me the sexy things."</p><p>"I will not!" Kurt protests. "That's private!"</p><p>Sebastian waggles his eyebrows. "More private than what we did last night?"</p><p>Kurt blushes and nudges his chest. "Maybe not, but it's early and I want breakfast," he says, hoping to get around this conversation.</p><p>Sebastian smirks. "It's past noon, but sure, I can see why you'd be hungry. You only had a taste last night. If you want all the nutricional-"</p><p>"Don't," Kurt says darkly. Doing it is one thing- making dirty jokes about it another. He's not at a Smythe-level of innuendo by far. Sebastian chuckles quietly to himself but is wise enough to keep his joke to himself.</p><p>Is it really noon? He glances at the windows. They are bright- too bright, and he hides his face against Sebastian's chest instead, groaning softly. "We slept for half a day? Julian and Carter are gonna love this," he mumbles. He feels Sebastian scoff again and lifts his head. "What?"</p><p>"Knowing Jules, he's either still asleep himself, or puking his guts out. I doubt he'll be in much of a mood to roast us for sleeping in. This is why we didn't do the stag night right before the wedding."</p><p>"Right."</p><p>"Do you want to go see if we can find something edible in the suite?" Sebastian suggests.</p><p>"Yes, but not before I clean myself up a little," Kurt says. "I know they already know what happened here, but I have something of a reputation to uphold."</p><p>"Take your time," Sebastian says, settling back in the sheets with his hands behind his head. Clearly he's not worried about his dishevelled appearance. Kurt's hickey still stands out dark against his skin, and for once, his hair is a complete mess.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. Even with messy hair, he looks incredible, and it stirs something inside of him. He can't wait to continue their exploration of each other's bodies…but not now, or else they'll never get out of bed.</p><p>He kisses Sebastian's cheek and forces himself out of bed and to the shower. Their next official function isn't until the wedding rehearsal tomorrow, but he'll be briefing the floral staff with Olivia later on today and he needs to not look completely wrecked for that.</p><p>He feels Sebastian's eyes on him as he walks towards the ensuite naked and can't resist bending over to pull his wash bag from his suitcase.</p><p>"Fucking tease," Sebastian whines from the bed and Kurt is pleased to see the look of pure <em>want</em> in his boyfriend's eyes when he looks over his shoulder. He winks and straightens up slowly before sauntering into the bathroom, running a hand down his hip and the curve of his ass, laughing gleefully when he hears Sebastian lovingly call out "I hate you."</p><p>Kurt winks at him as he shuts the door and can hear Sebastian laughing through the wall. He chuckles too and steps up to the mirror to examine himself. There's marks around each of his nipples from the attention Sebastian gave them in the hallway, and faint bruises on his hips from Sebastian's grip. He places his own fingers over the marks and presses a little; tiny bursts of pain shoot deliciously up his spine - his <em>spine</em>, an image suddenly flares up in his mind from the night before; Sebastian's mouth on his back as he held him on the edge of orgasm, biting down, marking him. He turns around and cranes his neck so that he can see himself in the mirror and moans faintly at the sight. There's a line of hickeys running from the base of his neckdown his spine and littering his shoulderblades.</p><p>He'd never been one for hickeys, he'd had enough marks on his skin in his life put there by other people and the idea of <em>more</em> always made him balk. Now however, he can recognise these marks for what they are; proof that he, Kurt Hummel, has something to offer. He really isn't a baby penguin anymore and someone <em>wants </em>him enough to claim him like this. The thought alone causes a wave of new arousal to spark through him and, grinning, he steps into the shower.</p><p>****</p><p>When he comes back out twenty minutes later, Sebastian has apparently gotten over his frustrations and is sitting on the bed in a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. If anyone would have told Kurt a year ago he would not only <em>accept</em> a partner in sweats but find them <em>sexy</em> too, he would have sued them for slander; but here he is, and his heart flutters at the small peek of bare, freckled midriff over his boyfriend's elastic waistband.</p><p>Sebastian looks up when he hears Kurt enter the room and echoes his smile, blissfully unaware of Kurt's recent shower activities and him simultaneously judging and loving his outfit. He stands up and takes Kurt's hand.</p><p>"Ready for your walk of shame?" he asks playfully. Kurt nods. He braces himself for what they might find in the living room, and they step out together hand in hand.</p><p>The suite is half-dark, the drapes haphazardly drawn. Kurt doesn't remember doing that- the guys must have done it after they came up. A beam of sunlight shines through a gap between two panels, creating sharp, cubic shadows over the luxurious modern furniture, giving it an almost abstract art gallery feel. Kurt's eyes fall on a lounge chair with the same tufted leather upholstery as in their room, and feels his temperature rise. He still can't really believe he defiled that seat, so desperate to get off - it was like being with Sebastian was pressing all of his buttons at once.</p><p>Sharp pain flares up under the sole of Kurt's foot, and he hops aside with a small cry. Grabbing his ankle, he pulls up his foot to see a small red dent in his skin. On the carpet lays a green shank button, looking innocent and harmless.</p><p>"The exact same thing happened to me last night," Julian comments in a gravelly voice, leaning against the doorway to one of the other bedrooms. Kurt puts his foot down and tears his eyes away from the button to look at him. Julian is wearing a sheet wrapped around his hips- and nothing else. Kurt quickly averts his eyes.</p><p>"I think I must have stepped on several of them on my way to the bathroom," Julian continues. "It was like a minefield out here. I thought I told you guys not to trash the place." He offers them a leery smile.</p><p>Kurt blushes hotly. In the shower, he had told himself that they have done nothing to be ashamed of, and that he wasn't going to let Julian or any of the others make him feel embarrassed, and yet his first sober look at the hotel room and the evidence of his ruined shirt on the floor (the rest of it still hanging draped off a chair by the coffee table) makes him feel a little red after all. It's not exactly a trail of clothes, but it's certainly not subtle either. Adding a half-naked Julian to that isn't helping.</p><p>Sebastian leans down to pick it up. "Ah, that's mine, isn't it?" he says, pocketing the small button. "Sorry about that." He offers Kurt a small, private smile, and walks over to the chair to take the shirt. He shrugs it on over his t-shirt and looks at his brother, daring him to say anything more about it. Julian wisely presses his lips together and gives Kurt an appreciative nod.</p><p>With no further remarks forthcoming, Kurt feels his muscles unclench. He scans the floor for any other buttons he may have missed, not wanting someone else to find them with their bare feet. Something moves in the corner of his eye and he suddenly notices Brian, sitting up on the couch. He is wearing silk pajamas and a hotel sheet covers his legs.</p><p>"Did you sleep out here?" Kurt asks.</p><p>Brian rubs two hands over his face and back through his hair, combing it lightly with his fingers. "Yeah," he yawns. "By the time I had finished brushing my teeth, Carter was snoring like a boar."</p><p>"Why didn't you come over to my room?" Julian says, walking into the room after them. "You know your honor is safe with me, right?"</p><p>Brian shrugs. "You were on the phone, I didn't want to disturb you. And I was really knackered. This was the easiest."</p><p>"Oh," Julian mumbles, his smile suddenly a little softer, more boyish. It isn't hard to guess who he had been talking to.</p><p>Kurt briefly wonders if they had the same kind of conversation he and Sebastian had on the phone while he was staying at the other hotel, and as soon as he thinks about <em>that </em>he tries to banish the image again - because Julian and Cooper are <em>way </em>too attractive to play out such a scenario in his mind after he has just gotten up. He can't think about his boyfriend's brother (and his ex-boyfriend's brother) like that.</p><p>"Is there anything to eat?" he asks instead, clearing his throat.</p><p>"Doesn't look like it, unless you count the decorative fruit," Sebastian says, nodding at the basket on the small table by the window. "But they said we'd get a complimentary breakfast- we just need to call down and tell them what we want."</p><p>He walks to the bar, briefly putting a hand on Kurt's hip as he passes behind him, and activates the touch screen mounted on the wall. He pulls up what looks like a menu and goes over it. "I'm just gonna order a selection of everything, okay?" he announces, not waiting for an answer, and taps it. A digital keyboard appears on the screen and he confirms their room number and the listed card. "It says twenty minutes, but they can bring some coffee up in five," he reads aloud.</p><p>"I'm going to take a shower and get dressed," Brian says, getting up and gathering his sheet and pillow up in his arms. Then he looks at Julian. "Unless you want to go first?"</p><p>Julian shrugs casually and drops himself onto one of the large leather seats, pulling his phone from somewhere inside the wrapped sheet (Kurt tries not to think about the how and the where).</p><p>Sebastian comes up behind Kurt and wraps his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck and pressing his nose against Kurt's hair. "You smell good," he mumbles. "I'm sorry about your shirt." Kurt closes his eyes and sighs, the last of his tension bleeding out of him on a long breath.</p><p>"Thanks for the save," he whispers. "My foot hurts though, it's like stepping on a Lego." He feels a soft huff of breath against his skin and bumps his hips back against Sebastian, aiming for his groin. "It's <em>not </em>funny, I am in <em>pain.</em>"</p><p>"It's a little funny," Sebastian argues, quickly placating Kurt by pressing a kiss against his throat.</p><p>Kurt grumbles. Trust Sebastian Smythe to find the one place on his body that will make him do anything, including overlooking being mocked. He closes his eyes and leans in as Sebastian increases the pressure of his lips against his pulse, his teeth grazing the skin lightly.</p><p>"Hey lovebirds, I'm gonna go back to bed for a bit, okay? Wake me when the food's here," Julian announces.</p><p>Neither of them move from their spot. Kurt shifts back against Sebastian's body. Sebastian stifles a groan against his skin. "Twenty minutes?" Kurt whispers. Sebastian briefly comes up for air. "Yeah," he replies, "though someone should open the door for the coffee."</p><p>"Let Carter do it," Kurt decides, slipping a hand into Sebastian's sweatpants. Yeah, they are really pretty sexy after all, and there's a few surfaces in their room they haven't used yet.</p><p>*****</p><p>A little while later, someone discreetly knocks on their bedroom door. Kurt looks at the clock and then up at Sebastian, smirking. Breakfast should be here by now. "You go ahead," he says, clearing his throat. "I'm just gonna brush my teeth. Again."</p><p>Sebastian grins and holds out his hand, helping Kurt up from his knees. He waits until Kurt confirms it with a small nod, then says loudly: "We'll be right out, you can start without us!"</p><p>"That's not it," Brian replies from behind the door. "Did Julian say where he was going?"</p><p>Kurt and Sebastian look at each other in confusion. <em>Julian?</em> Kurt pulls up his shoulders, and Sebastian walks up to the door, opening it to look at Brian. "I thought he said he was going back to bed," he says.</p><p>"Well, he's not there, and all I can get out of Carter is that the door slamming woke him up."</p><p>Brian is dressed, his hair combed back wetly. Little splotches of red are showing on his cheeks and he looks agitated. "Do you think something happened? He's not answering his phone."</p><p>From the main room, they hear the sound of someone retching. "That's Carter," Brian says dismissively. "His own fault for smoking cigarillos on the balcony last night." He shakes his head. "I <em>told</em> him it wasn't a good idea to smoke on top of all that alcohol. I knew it was going to make him sick."</p><p>Sebastian looks pensive. Then he resolutely takes out his phone, taps the screen and presses it to his ear. He waits. While he waits, he looks at Kurt. He offers him a small smile, but Kurt can tell he is distracted. It is taking too long, and yet Sebastian stubbornly waits. Finally, he lowers his phone, then fires off a text.</p><p>"Are we worried?" Kurt asks carefully, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Sebastian's back. "Couldn't he have just stepped out for some fresh air?"</p><p>"He wouldn't have needed to leave the suite for that," Sebastian replies, half-nodding at the balcony. "Something's up."</p><p>He lowers his phone and sighs, leaning into Kurt's touch a little. "Normally, I'd ask Liv, but I don't want to freak her out. Not yet."</p><p>Brian sighs. "Yeah, I am tempted to call her too, but-" He offers Kurt a helpless look. "The last few weeks have been tough enough on her, and Julian's only been gone for half an hour. I don't wanna worry her even more."</p><p>"Julian is a grown-up and we're not his sitters," Kurt decides. "Maybe he'll turn up after breakfast. And by the sound of it, Carter is the one we should be more worried about." He wrinkles his nose as another wave of retching echoes through the room.</p><p>Brian nods. "I'll go check on him. It's not the first time I've seen him like this."</p><p>They watch him approach the second bathroom and knock the door. Kurt looks at Sebastian and moves his hand to slide around Sebastian's waist. "Maybe he has one last bachelor surprise for Brian," he offers, but Sebastian only shrugs, still looking at his phone. Then, it buzzes in his hand, and Sebastian immediately taps it, his eyes flying over the text. He lowers his hand with an exasperated sigh.</p><p>"He's with Cooper," he announces. "I guess he flew up early." He shouts the same towards the bathroom to inform Brian.</p><p>"That's good, then," Kurt tries, and Sebastian nods grudgingly, moving his own arm to wrap around Kurt's shoulders.</p><p>"I think it's pretty rude to ditch us like this here, but he writes that he already settled the bill. Check-out isn't until four."</p><p>Kurt checks his watch. "We have time for breakfast then," he concludes, "or should I say: lunch?" He waggles his eyebrows.</p><p>A smile creeps back onto Sebastian's face. "Oh, so <em>you</em> can make jokes like that but I can't?" he asks, cocking his head. "That's really unfair, babe."</p><p>"Joke? What joke?" Kurt asks innocently, and Sebastian just shakes his head, as if to say <em>‘the things I put up with…' </em></p><p>Kurt smiles, feeling bubbly with happiness.</p><p>*****</p><p>"Well, Carter doesn't want any breakfast," Brian announces, coming back into the room a while later.</p><p>"Surprise, surprise," Kurt mumbles quietly, hiding behind his mug of coffee. He doesn't exactly feel sorry for him- while he had appreciated their talk at the stables, Carter had grown more and more annoying the more he drank, and Kurt is secretly glad he missed the part with the cigarillo after-party on the balcony. He is pretty sure <em>his</em> after-party has been much more enjoyable.</p><p>"He wasn't always like that," Brian offers, taking a clean mug from the tray and turning it the right side up to fill it with coffee. "He is pretty much the reason I survived college. He's really smart, and he was a great study buddy. But when we took our bar exam together in February, I passed and he didn't-" Brian shakes his head and sips his coffee thoughtfully. "He had a lot riding on it, had his future planned to the T-"</p><p>Kurt nods. He knows a little something about future plans falling apart.</p><p>"He was ready to give it all up, but I managed to convince him to give it another shot in July, and he passed. I think this party was really just his way of letting all of it out."</p><p>"Without ‘the old ball and chain'," Kurt comments, still feeling a little annoyed about Carter's remarks about his wife. Sure, exam stress can put a lot of pressure on people- he imagines it's a bit like auditioning for NYADA- but putting others down, especially your partner, when they are not there to defend themselves?</p><p>Brian nods, studying Kurt with understanding in his eyes. "I know how it sounds," he says. "But things between Carter and Joy have always been complicated, and the past months have only made things worse. Apparently, she feels that, between graduation and the bar and all the time he has been putting in with his dad's company, all of his remaining free time should be spent with <em>her</em>, and not with seeing his friends."</p><p>"Wow, that sucks," Sebastian says, and Kurt feels a little weird about the way he says it, because it implies things about <em>their </em>relationship that they haven't even talked about yet.</p><p>Kurt isn't sure how <em>he'd</em> feel letting Sebastian go off with his friends without him either. Of course, it's probably a different situation than between Carter and Joy, as Sebastian doesn't have many friends he hasn't had sex with at least once- but that's all the more reason to feel ambivalent towards it.</p><p>And how would <em>Sebastian</em> feel if Kurt were to go off to a club or a casino with Rachel and Mercedes without him? Okay? And what about if he went with Finn and Puck? He remembers how territorial Julian got around Puck, and Julian isn't even his boyfriend.</p><p>What would Sebastian say if he were to meet <em>Blaine</em> for a coffee after he got back?</p><p><em>Blaine. </em>Suddenly a residue of bile swirls around in Kurt's stomach. Regardless of what Sebastian would think of it, Kurt isn't even sure <em>he</em> wants to meet Blaine for coffee now. Are they even still friends? Does he want to face him, knowing what he knows now- that it took only nine days for Blaine to stray?</p><p>And what if -and this thought makes Kurt feel even worse - Blaine doesn't <em>want </em>even to see him, because why would he, if it only took him such a short time to get over him and fall for someone else? And what would he think of Kurt dating the guy who once hit on <em>him</em> and tried to break them up? Would he get mad? Would he be indifferent? Would he...even notice?</p><p>A sudden urge to find out runs through Kurt, and he takes out his phone. He opens Facebook. There are no new posts on Blaine's profile, but then he hasn't expected there would be. Blaine said he'd be going on a social media hiatus until his return, but maybe he does check in every now and then without posting anything? Does he check Kurt's profile like Kurt checks Blaine's?</p><p>Kurt glances at Sebastian. His boyfriend is plucking apart a croissant, tearing off the ends to dip them in jam before putting them in his mouth. His phone lies face down on the table.</p><p>Kurt looks up Sebastian's profile on Facebook. There's a few posts, though it's all quite impersonal- links to news articles and quizzes, some shared posts from the Warbler group. He recognizes the picture Sebastian has set as a user icon- it was taken at Brian and Olivia's engagement party. There's no mention of him- and why would there be? They are not even connected. Maybe that needs to change...for everyone to see.</p><p>He takes a deep breath, and holds it as he taps the friend request. Julian, Olivia, Brian and Greg's profiles immediately pop up as suggestions. Kurt hesitates a little, then requests them all too. He tries not to look at the long list of friends Sebastian's profile displays- even with half an eye he can see most of the user pictures are male. <em>One more reason to get this settled</em>, he thinks to himself. It's not just Blaine who needs to get the message.</p><p>Sebastian's phone buzzes, and he stuffs the last of the croissant into his mouth, licking his fingers and wiping them on his pants before picking up his phone.</p><p>"Aww," he says with his mouth full, "you wanna be Facebook friends with me?" He chews and swallows with a grin. "That's cute. I must have done something right last night."</p><p>Brian snorts.</p><p>"Not just that. I want us to be facebook official," Kurt says, and his words momentarily wipe the grin off Sebastian's face as he realizes what Kurt means.</p><p>"O-kay," he says slowly.</p><p><em>Please don't say no</em>, Kurt suddenly thinks. <em>What if Sebastian doesn't want to? Is it too soon? Should he have asked before? </em>Back when he and Blaine started dating, it was about the first thing they did. It felt important at the time to let everyone know.</p><p>He glances at Brian. His expression is neutral, no help there. Somehow, he kind of wishes Julian was here - he'd probably bully Sebastian into accepting it, because how would it look if <em>he</em> was friends with Kurt but his little brother isn't? But as it is, Julian hasn't accepted his friend request yet either. <em>Probably a bit too busy with his booty call, </em>Kurt muses.</p><p>"I can't set my relationship status to ‘dating you' if we're not friends," Kurt adds. "Which...makes sense, I guess." He wishes Sebastian would just accept his request before he loses his nerve.</p><p>"Yeah. I get that," Sebastian mumbles, and finally taps his phone. It pops up on Kurt's screen right away.</p><p>"So...are you okay with it?" Kurt asks, hating how needy it sounds. "You don't have to make your status visible, if you go to your settings you can-"</p><p>"I want it to be visible," Sebastian says, cutting Kurt off.</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>Sebastian offers him a small smile. "Do you think the Nude Erections will work up a shitstorm? They all hate me."</p><p>"They don't hate you," Kurt offers automatically, before pausing to think about it. "Though...most of them still dislike you, I guess," he modifies, offering Sebastian an apologetic look.</p><p>He hadn't even thought about their reactions yet; all he had been thinking about was Blaine and the legion of ‘friends' on Sebastian's list. "But Finn doesn't! And I'm sure Puck is on board with this too!"</p><p>"They just want to get invited to our parties again," Sebastian says, grinning, but then nods. "let's do it. Make it official and let's watch them all lose their collective minds." He winks.</p><p>Kurt really wishes he hadn't said it like that, because suddenly he's also worrying about Glee club. All he wanted was to provoke a reaction from Blaine and find out where he stands. He's not even really sure why. He doesn't want him back, he knows that for sure. But maybe, just maybe, deep inside, he wants to hurt Blaine a little - for those nine days and the tears he has shed over them. For the pain he has felt, and the days, weeks, he spent mourning what they had, even before he knew the truth. He still doesn't even officially <em>know</em>. If Cooper hadn't run his mouth, he might still have been beating himself up for feeling something for Sebastian; for feeling like a cheater.</p><p>If Kurt is completely honest to himself, he wants Blaine to see it and go: <em>damn, Kurt has moved on, and I lost my chance with him.</em> Maybe he is even hoping for a fight - because if Blaine reacts, if he gets mad or jealous, at least it's proof that what they had mattered to him at some point, even if it doesn't anymore now, and he didn't just end their relationship to focus on life after high school without him.</p><p>Before Sebastian can notice he's overthinking things again, Kurt goes to his own profile.</p><p>
  <strong>It's complicated.</strong>
</p><p><em>What an understatement,</em> Kurt thinks, but when he looks up at Sebastian's expectant expression, he realizes that maybe it isn't that complicated. He wants this, whether Blaine reacts or not. He sends off a status request, watches Sebastian slide his finger over his screen, and there it is.</p><p>
  <strong>In a relationship with Sebastian Smythe. </strong>
</p><p>He looks up from his screen to find Sebastian looking at him. For a moment, they just look at each other. Then Kurt's phone<em> dings</em>. He looks down to see Brian has accepted his request and liked their status.</p><p>"Sorry," Brian says sheepishly, his phone in hand. "I wanted to be first."</p><p>It breaks the tension between them, and Kurt smiles, locking his screen and putting his phone down. "Thanks," he says. "You must think we're being childish."</p><p>"Are you kidding?" Brian says. "Liv and I have been teasing each other for weeks about who gets to set our status to ‘married'. She set us to ‘engaged' so I think it's my turn.<em>" </em>He shrugs. "It's fun."</p><p>Kurt smiles pensively. He remembered how excited he was the first time he set his status to ‘in a relationship'- and how hard it was to have to change it back. Doing it the second time around feels different. To distract himself from his complicated thoughts, he focuses on Brian.</p><p>"Have you or Olivia ever dated anyone else?"</p><p>"Pardon?" Brian looks a little taken aback by the question.</p><p>"Before you got together!" Kurt explains hurriedly. "I don't mean to imply you broke up!"</p><p>Sebastian smirks and glances at the two of them before looking back at his phone.</p><p>"No," Brian says. "We started dating when we were in school and have been together since."</p><p>Kurt smiles, feeling a pang of melancholy. It was the kind of relationship he always imagined he and Blaine would accumulate to - highschool romance, engagement, marital bliss. So much for distracting himself. Then Brian continues.</p><p>"But shortly before graduation, we did discuss it."</p><p>Sebastian looks up sharply, fixing Brian with surprised eyes.</p><p>"I didn't want her to have any regrets later," Brian explains, "about missing out on that part of teenage life; being free to date as a single, meeting different people, consciously deciding - rather than just being with me because we'd always been together." He blushes again.</p><p>"You thought my sister wanted to be <em>free</em>?" Sebastian scoffs, frowning.</p><p>Brian shakes his head. "Not really. But I wanted her to know she had the option. That she wouldn't lose my friendship if she-"</p><p>"Experimented? Played the field?" Sebastian suggests. "That's ridiculous. She has always wanted you, and only you."</p><p>Brian smiles shyly. "That's what she said," he admits.</p><p>Sebastian sits up, and narrows his eyes. "Did you ask her hoping <em>you'd</em> get to play the field too?" he says. "Before you ‘settled down'?"</p><p>"What!? No!" Brian lets out, nearly rising from his seat, his coffee swirling dangerously close to the rim of his mug before he steadies his hand. "Absolutely not. I have <em>never </em>wanted anyone but her, and I never will."</p><p>"Well, good," Sebastian bites, slumping in his seat again. "Just checking."</p><p>"She was pretty angry with me too, you know," Brian says, giving Sebastian a fond look. "But I had to be sure. I didn't want us to end up like-" he lowers his voice and leans forward a little, "Carter and Joy. Getting engaged fresh out of high school, jumping into marriage, and then coming to resent each other for missing out on what our friends are doing without us..."</p><p>"I think that makes sense," Kurt offers.</p><p>"I think it's bullshit," Sebastian says. "Either you want to be together or you don't. No take-backs, no ‘hitting the pause button' to check if something better may come along." He looks at Kurt, and suddenly it's quite clear what he is thinking about, and it has nothing to do with his sister.</p><p>Kurt wishes he could rewind those nights he has wasted all summer pining for Blaine and the fantasy of the perfect relationship, because he realizes <em>this </em>is the relationship he should have been fantasizing about all along. He can see the passion in Sebastian's eyes, the defiance - it's like it's a poker game and Sebastian is <em>all in. </em>His heart just about bursts with gratitude.</p><p>Brian, who hasn't noticed the look between them nor knows the story behind how Kurt and Blaine broke up, continues pensively.</p><p>"I guess you're right," he says. "I am glad we had that talk anyway. Of course it doesn't mean that I wasn't already convinced of my own intentions! I mean, the first time we kissed-" He pauses as Sebastian rises to his feet.</p><p>"Yeah, that's my cue to shower," he announces. "Please feel free to continue talking about any other first times you may have shared with <em>my sister</em>." He winks at Kurt, drains his coffee cup, and starts around the table. As he passes Kurt, he briefly rests his hand on Kurt's shoulder, and though it lasts only a split second, the touch reminds Kurt that high school isn't the only chance he has gotten at finding love.</p><p><em>Ding, ding, ding, ding</em>. Kurt looks down at his phone, which is suddenly going berserk on the table as several notifications start coming in. He feels a little giddy as he reaches for it, guessing that his friends are reacting to his status update. As the screen lights up he spots several facebook notifications and multiple text messages from both Rachel and Mercedes.</p><p>He quickly scrolls through the facebook notifications- almost all the Warblers have ‘liked' either his or Sebastian's status; Finn, Puck and Quinn have as well. Tina left a comment that consists solely out of question marks, and Santana wrote:</p><p>
  <strong>SANTANA: Respect for getting yourself a new blazer gay!! but be sure to wear a raincoat until you get a green light from the clinic, there's no telling where that's been.</strong>
</p><p>Kurt is tempted to reply to her, but then sees that Sebastian already has- apparently he took his phone into the bathroom with him.</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: Do you give referrals? We might get an appointment sooner if it comes from one of their regulars :)</strong>
</p><p>Kurt snorts. Santana has actually ‘liked' Sebastian's reply, so he doubts there's much hard feelings in either direction, though maybe he should ask the both of them to lay off the slut-shaming. It's not good for either of them. Then he remembers why he posted his status in the first place. He scrolls down the list of comments, but doesn't see Blaine's name anywhere. Feeling a little disappointed, he closes Facebook and goes to his messages.</p><p>Remembering Rachel's previous reactions to finding out about him and Sebastian, Kurt decides to read Mercedes' messages first.</p><p>
  <strong>MERCEDES: Boy I leave you alone for 1 summer and you go get yourself a new boo? And it's Sebastian Smythe?? Spill the tea, how did this happen? XD Call me!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>MERCEDES: For real, though - if he makes you happy then I'm happy...but if he breaks your heart I'll break his face xxx</strong>
</p><p>Kurt smiles at Mercedes' message and fires off a reply, telling her he'll tell her all about it soon. (What exactly he'll tell, he will have to decide). He's missed her a lot this summer and feels guilty for not staying in touch. He makes a promise in his reply to meet up for a proper catchup when he gets home - before they go their separate ways for college.</p><p>Then, unable to put it off any longer, he opens Rachel's message.</p><p>
  <strong>RACHEL: Oh my god, Kurt!! I thought you said it was just a summer fling!! What about Blaine? He'll be home from camp soon and what's he going to say about all of this?? Are you really willing to give up your soulmate for someone like Sebastian?</strong>
</p><p>Kurt lets out an annoyed huff of air and frowns at his phone. Somehow, her words hurt him more than Santana's. When Olivia found out that Finn had a girlfriend, she'd immediately extended him the offer of bringing a plus one. Rachel, no doubt simply seeing it as a bonus of Kurt's dalliance, had jumped at the chance of being present at the social highlight of the summer, despite how she felt about Sebastian. What will happen now that she knows they are really together? Kurt doesn't want her causing a ‘Rachel Scene' at Olivia and Brian's wedding. He needs to nip this in the bud before it escalates.</p><p>He deliberates on what he wants to say, his fingers hovering over the screen.</p><p>
  <strong>First of all, if Blaine was my soulmate he wouldn't have broken up with me so he could go away and fuck someone else (which he did nine days after he left by the way).</strong>
</p><p><em>No, too crude,</em> he berates himself, and a small pained whimper inside of him also objects to even more people knowing about Blaine (and that Kurt was so easy to get over).</p><p><strong>First of all,</strong> he starts over, <strong>summer fling- those were your words, not mine. You didn't give me a chance to explain back then and you're jumping to conclusions again now too.</strong></p><p>He shakes his head. <em>Put the claws away, Kurt. She'll never come around if you go on the defensive.</em></p><p><strong>Rachel,</strong> he tries once more. <strong>Blaine and I broke up. Sebastian is my boyfriend now. If you want to come to his sister's wedding you'd better-</strong></p><p>Kurt sighs deeply. There's no way he can respond to her without getting angry at the way she implies Sebastian is the lesser option over the boy who actually didn't want him anymore.</p><p>He reads over Rachel's message again. He knows she means well, but it's infuriating. They are supposed to meet up with his dad, Carole, Finn and Rachel for lunch tomorrow when they arrive for the wedding, and if she's going to be treating Sebastian like dirt, he doesn't want her there. Finally, he knows what to say.</p><p>
  <strong>KURT: I love you for looking out for me and I understand your worries - I had them in the beginning too. But as my best friend, I'm asking you to give him a second chance. Finn already has (ask him!) and be the judge yourself tomorrow?</strong>
</p><p>He hits send and turns the phone on silent, locks the screen and sets it down on the table.</p><p>"Everything alright?" Brian asks, surveying him over the top of his paper. "You look like you want to punch something."</p><p>Kurt debates whether to say something but then thinks better of it and shakes his head. He doesn't want to tell Brian that most of his friends dislike Sebastian- or why. He isn't sure how much Brian knows about Sebastian's behavior at school, and he doesn't want Sebastian's past to reflect badly on him in Brian's eyes now, especially since he knows Sebastian has changed.</p><p>"I'm fine," he offers.</p><p>Brian doesn't look entirely convinced, but he doesn't ask again, and Kurt fills the awkward silence by pouring himself another cup of coffee. As he sips it, he scrolls through Facebook again. Still nothing from Blaine. Brittany and Sugar have liked his status, and Sam has posted a nearly illegible, typo-riddled comment, but Kurt suspects it is <em>supposed</em> to read ‘<strong>glad you're feeling better, dig the frenemies romance, very Batman/Joker!!</strong>'. He smiles a little, brushing his fingers over the screen at Sam's picture. He may be a bit misguided at times, but he's a good friend.</p><p>Just when he wonders if he should start clearing away their breakfast or leave it for Sebastian, his boyfriend storms out onto the balcony, holding his phone in a clenched fist. For one brief moment, Kurt worries that Rachel has somehow gotten hold of his number and sent a similar text to his boyfriend, but then Sebastian holds out his phone to Brian.</p><p>"Did you see this?" he demands. He looks furious, his posture tense, his jaw clenched. <em>Probably not Rachel then,</em> Kurt thinks, <em>if he's showing Brian instead of me. </em></p><p>He stretches his neck a little and catches a glimpse of Sebastian's screen. It is opened on the Smythe family chat.</p><p>"No, I was reading the paper," Brian mumbles, and peers at the screen of Sebastian's phone. His eyes go wide and the color drains from his face.</p><p>"Oh, fuck," he curses, and Kurt can now count the times he has heard Brian curse on one finger.</p><p>"What happened?" he asks.</p><p>"A late RSVP," Brian says.</p><p>"<em>What?</em> Now? They can't do that," Kurt protests. "The seating arrangements-"</p><p>"It's my granddad," Sebastian says darkly. "And as far as he is concerned, he can do whatever the fuck he wants."</p><p>"Gregory Smythe senior?" Kurt asks, even though after days of pouring over the guest list with Olivia, he knows it can't be anyone else - Sebastian's maternal grandparents RSVPed months ago and will be travelling from France to attend. They are probably on a plane as they speak.</p><p>"Yeah," Sebastian confirms, his lips twisting bitterly.</p><p>"He's not the nicest man," Brian says diplomatically.</p><p>"He's a dickhead," Sebastian growls, and Kurt nods. "I've heard."</p><p>"Why did you even invite him in the first place?" Sebastian whines, kicking the leg of a chair angrily.</p><p>Brain cocks his head and gives Sebastian a look well-suited on a teacher who knows his student knows the answer and is just waiting for him to come out with it. Sebastian sighs aggressively and rolls his eyes. He <em>knows </em>why, but he's not saying it.</p><p>"We never thought he'd show," Brian explains to Kurt. "We invited him as a courtesy to Greg, and also so he wouldn't have a reason to complain about us scorning him."</p><p>"He hates your guts," Sebastian says.</p><p>"He hates everyone," Brian corrects, shrugging. "But it is really unfortunate that he decided to come."</p><p>"Surely he can pull himself together for one day?" Kurt suggests carefully. "It's a wedding, after all."</p><p>Brian lets out a humorless laugh. "He doesn't care about our wedding! All he cares about is the Smythe family and his <em>legacy</em>. From his point of view, Olivia is marrying into <em>my </em>family, which means it doesn't concern him anymore. Any children we may have will be Wiltons. He's coming out of spite, to piss on our happiness."</p><p>Kurt feels indignance rise up in him. He hasn't gone through all of this trouble the past week making sure that Olivia got her perfect wedding only to have it ruined now!</p><p>"Okay," he says, more to himself than the others. "We'll deal with this. We'll put him with people who can handle him. We can make this work. I'll talk to Olivia-"</p><p>"It's not your problem to solve, Kurt," Sebastian says harshly. "This is <em>family</em>." Kurt feels it, almost like a slap to the face.</p><p>"Seb-" Brian starts, but Sebastian shakes his head. "I'm gonna pack my stuff," he announces, and stalks off back to their room, nearly bumping into Carter who is on his way out to the balcony, a martini glass in his hand.</p><p>"What's gotten into him?" Carter asks, looking back over his shoulder. He then seems to realize what he's said and looks at Kurt, grinning. Clearly he is still not completely sober.</p><p>Kurt sighs deeply. "Can you please just leave us alone, Carter? I am not in the mood for your bullshit innuendo right now."</p><p>Carter stares at him with wide eyes. "Right…" he whispers, visibly intimidated, and he slinks off back inside. As soon as he's gone, Kurt's strong posture breaks and he slumps in his seat, feeling overwhelmed.</p><p>"Sebastian doesn't mean it like that," Brian offers. "We are really grateful for everything you have done, Kurt. His grandfather is a special case. He's been horrid to all of them, but he's mostly had it out for Julian."</p><p>He pauses, visibly hesitating, then continues. "This one time, shortly after Julian had left for Europe, there was some kind of official function we all had to attend. He was there too. I found Mr Smythe lecturing Sebastian about stock markets and the investment business. I thought it was nice of him trying to teach his grandson something, until I heard him say it was important that Seb paid attention, seeing as how-" Brian swallows.</p><p>"This is a direct quote, Kurt, please don't hate me: <em>he'd be the sole heir to the Smythe family after Julian died of the AIDS.</em>"</p><p>Kurt just stares at him.</p><p>"That's how he said it. <em>The</em> AIDS." Brian shakes his head to himself before focusing back on his story. "Sebastian was like, fifteen or sixteen or something-"</p><p>Kurt stops listening.</p><p>"Fourteen," he whispers. "He was fourteen when Julian left."</p><p>Never in his life has he felt such intense hatred for another human being. How dare he? How dare he lay such fears on a child who was already missing his brother and confidant? It makes Kurt feel sick to his stomach.</p><p>"I took Seb away and told his grandfather never to speak to him like that again, but I doubt he paid me any heed," Brian says. "He says and does what he wants."</p><p>"Did you tell Greg?" Kurt asks.</p><p>"I did, right after. He nearly exploded and sent his father out of the house. They only see each other when business demands it, now."</p><p>Kurt nods pensively. "Greg told me that, but he didn't say what had happened, exactly."</p><p>He now understands why. Having to tell someone this kind of story about your own relative, about the man who raised you, wasn't exactly easy. Especially if that someone is an outsider…which Kurt is… He is not part of their family, as Sebastian has pointed out.</p><p>It still hurts. Kurt <em>gets</em> it. He knows what it's like to have a happy moment destroyed by a single message, what it's like to have his world turned upside down in the blink of an eye. He also knows what it's like to have the anticipation of a happy occasion overshadowed by the threat of a bully. And it isn't like<em> he</em> has never let his anger out at the wrong person.</p><p>But after having spent the past two and a half months with the Smythes, hearing their history, sharing their traditions, being included, and all the talk last night at the bachelor party about being <em>brothers</em>, this sudden expulsion from their circle makes him <em>ache</em>.</p><p>"Go talk to him," Brian suggests gently. "The Smythe kids often say things in anger. I'm sure he already regrets it."</p><p>Kurt nods. His phone buzzes with a few more notifications, and it all suddenly feels so pointless. <em>Facebook official.</em> He scoffs at himself. His boyfriend is inside, probably ruining his expensive clothes by stuffing them into his bag without folding them properly, and he is aching, too. He needs help. Kurt can easily imagine the powerlessness and anger Sebastian must be feeling, because he is feeling it too.</p><p>He puts his phone down, not bothering to check if any of the new notifications have Blaine's name on them, gets up and exchanges a last look with Brian before going inside. He finds Sebastian lying on their bed, face down, arms slung over his head. A half-packed bag sits on the floor, his beautiful cashmere sweater stuck in the zipper. Kurt winces.</p><p>"Bas," he says softly, and he sits down next to him, the mattress dipping. Sebastian just shakes his head and clenches his arms even tighter around himself.</p><p>Kurt bites his lip. He wants to help, he hurts because Sebastian hurts, but he is closing himself off again. <em>I thought we were past this,</em> Kurt muses, but the throwback to his childhood must have triggered hard-wired responses.</p><p>"Please talk to me," Kurt begs. "I know I can't begin to understand what it is like for you, for any of you - my family isn't worth 350 billion and we have no dynasty to fight over - but that doesn't mean I am not here for you."</p><p>Sebastian pulls up his shoulders and curls in on himself a little, rocking on the mattress. "I hate him so much," he whispers, his voice trembling. "He's going to ruin everything, he always does."</p><p>"I won't let him," Kurt promises, stroking his hand down Sebastian's back. There is no way he will let this horrible man hurt Sebastian again- or Julian, or any of them. If that means he has to put the guy at the worst table, that's what he'll do.</p><p>Sebastian lowers his arms and turns on the mattress to look at him. "How? How will you do that, Kurt? The man owns half the country. He does and says whatever the hell he wants and there's nothing any of us can do to stop him. He's coming to the wedding out of pure spite. He hates that my dad would rather be a public servant than run the family business, he hates that Julian is an artist, and he hates that Liv is marrying Brian. He's coming to piss on everything because he <em>can.</em> And it's not fair, because it needs to be my<em> sister's </em>day, not his-"</p><p>He drops his face back into the mattress. His voice muffled, he adds: "It was gonna be ours, too."</p><p>Kurt sits up and blinks. "Ours, how?" he asks softly.</p><p>Sebastian rolls onto his back and closes his eyes tightly. He looks miserable. "You and me," he whispers hoarsely. "As a couple." Almost inaudibly, he adds; "a <em>real</em> couple."</p><p>Kurt swallows hard. He has looked forward to this wedding for many reasons: he gets to wear a custom made suit, dance, spend time with the people he has come to love; plus, he helped organize it, he adores the opulence of bridal fashion, loves the atmosphere of weddings and there's sure to be great food… But without telling him, without letting on much of that thought process inside his head, Sebastian has anticipated this event for another reason: to be with <em>him</em>. To have him by his side as his plus-one, officially, and with the both of them completely on board; their first function as <em>KurtandSebastian.</em></p><p>"Sebastian, look at me." He waits until Sebastian opens his eyes.</p><p>"He cannot take that away from us," Kurt says. "We <em>are </em>a real couple, whether he approves or not, and there is nothing he can tell our guests that will change that- and the ones that matter, your <em>real</em> family, will stand by us."</p><p>Sebastian presses his lips together tightly and seems to consider it. Then, he nods.</p><p>"Okay?" Kurt asks, just to be sure, using <em>their</em> word, the word that expresses so many things.</p><p>"Yeah, okay," Sebastian confirms. He clears his throat and looks around the room as if he hopes to see something materialize in the air to talk about instead.</p><p>"So, what did you mean, your family isn't worth 350 billion?" he asks.</p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I just meant: my family arguments tend to be about who gets to keep my grandma's salad bowl, and not an empire."</p><p>Sebastian frowns, shaking his head impatiently. "Yeah, I got that. But where did you pull that number from? Is that what you think my family is worth?"</p><p>"Carter mentioned it at the races," Kurt admits, feeling a little awkward. Did he remember it right? Or is it even <em>more</em> and he has somehow insulted him?</p><p>Sebastian sighs and flops his arm down on the bed. "You really don't want to listen to what Carter says."</p><p>"Okay," Kurt hedges. "But you said you were ‘old money'...I don't really know what that means."</p><p>Sebastian glances back at him. "Do you want to? It's not- I mean…"</p><p>"I want to know about <em>you,</em>" Kurt says. "And if you're the heir to a dynasty or something crazy-glamourous like that, then that's a part of you I want to understand too." He offers Sebastian a small smile. "No matter what buzzfeed quiz I take, I always get Alexis."</p><p>Sebastian sighs and purses his lips as he does so, causing a raspberry sound.</p><p>"It's really not something we talk about," he shrugs. "...but, okay." He reaches for Kurt's hand and Kurt takes the hint, laying down next to him.</p><p>"I meant what I said about Smythe being a big name on the East Coast," Sebastian starts. "Back in the mid 1800's my family were farmers and owned eighty percent of the land that is now Westerville. My great great grandfather was the one who broke tradition. It was the time when settlers were starting to migrate to America and he had the idea to split up the land and build houses and shops for the settlers to occupy. He charged them rent and fed the money back into buying more land and building it up. He kept a large portion of the land for himself and built the house we now live in. He and his son spent the majority of their lives building up settlements across the East Coast and made the family fortune."</p><p>Sebastian looks up at the ceiling as he talks but keeps a firm hold of his hand, as if he needs the reassurance that Kurt is still there.</p><p>"When my granddad took over, he decided that he wanted to move away from private real estate and started Smythe Investments," Sebastian continues, his lips twisting bitterly. "He buys out businesses that are failing and strips them down before selling them on for a hefty profit. He takes great pride in the fact that he's tripled the family net worth."</p><p>"So...you <em>are</em> worth 350 billion after all-"</p><p>"<em>No,"</em> Sebastian says bluntly. "The <em>business</em>. Smythe Investments has a current net worth of something around that amount and it's my <em>grandfather</em> who lords over it. When my dad turned 18, he gave him a considerable amount of stock and ownership in the business, hoping to trap my dad into following in his footsteps. Only, my dad never wanted to take over from him; he had his own plans for his future and the kind of legacy he wanted to leave behind."</p><p>Kurt nods. Greg had already told him how his views were radically different from his father's.</p><p>"Granddad was <em>furious</em> and tried to disinherit my dad, but he shot himself in the foot with the way that he tied dad into it. By legally signing my dad on as a part owner in the business, the only way he can be removed is if he himself resigns and sells his shares."</p><p>Kurt ponders this for a moment. "Why doesn't he? If he hates your granddad that much…"</p><p>"He almost did once, back when he was in college, but as the story goes, my mom talked him around. She made him see that the best kind of revenge that he could have was to <em>use</em> the money he made from his dad's business, money my granddad made off people's misfortune, to make the world a better place. So that's why the old man doesn't like my mom either. He's convinced <em>she</em> made him become an attorney and forced him to take up pro bono work."</p><p>Kurt's heart swells with pride and affection for Greg at this nugget of information. "Your dad works for free?"</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "Depends on the case, but it's not like he needs the money. Dividend yield from his stock profile covers our expenses and they do <em>a lot</em> of work for charity with the rest. Dad personally invests in small start up businesses and offers them legal advice as part of the investment."</p><p>Kurt smiles. He had hated Sebastian a little bit for bragging about his dad when they first met, but the more he hears about Greg...he will be bragging about him too.</p><p>"Mom is the ambassador for a number of charities," Sebastian continues, "And my granddad<em> hates</em> it. As far as he's concerned, hand-outs are a waste of <em>his</em> hard-earned money. And because of his own failed gamble, he has to deal with my dad sitting in on meetings and having a voice in the company, knowing that whatever he makes off it will go to <em>poor people.</em>"</p><p>Kurt finds his own levels of anger start to rise. Between Greg, Brian and Sebastian's versions, he is now convinced that Mr Smythe sr is an evil man, a modern Ebenezer Scrooge or Lex Luthor.</p><p>"But most of all," Sebastian concludes, "it irks him that the matter of his succession is still up in the air. He shifted his expectations of my dad onto Julian when he was born, but well, Julian is Julian and the day he wears a suit and steps into a board meeting is the day that Hell will freeze. Olivia is a girl so ‘is not worthy to wear the crown', and he wouldn't give it to a Wilton in a million years…"</p><p>As Kurt listens, he slots the pieces of the puzzle together. He is reminded of Brian's story and what he had overheard Smythe Senior say. Sebastian is next in line. But with the way Sebastian reacted to the news of having to see his grandfather again, Kurt assumes it's very unlikely that he will. No wonder the old guy hates all of his progeny; in his eyes, they've all disappointed him.</p><p>Sebastian lets out a deep sigh. "So, yeah. Carter doesn't know what he's talking about. He sees the business on the<em> Forbes 500 list </em>and makes assumptions, but it's the <em>business'</em> net value, not mine or my parents." He pauses. "I mean...I do have <em>some </em>money…"</p><p>Kurt doesn't interrupt him, and he continues to explain.</p><p>"My dad bought us all shares in the company when we were born, and tied them to a trust. The shares get dividends every year and the money is held in an account. Liv and Jules both have full control over their accounts but I won't until I'm twenty one. I get an allowance from it each month and the rest is sitting there, though some does get reinvested automatically."</p><p>He doesn't put a number on it, but Kurt has seen the way the Smythe boys spend money, so it's not hard to imagine. He doesn't need to know the exact sum to know it's<em> a lot. </em>He thinks about his tuition.</p><p>"So when you said you couldn't just write a check for ten thousand dollars, that's what you meant?" he asks quietly and Sebastian nods.</p><p>"If I need that kind of money I can ask for it. My mom and dad never really say <em>no,</em> but I have to justify it."</p><p>Kurt nods, still a little dazed. He feels like what he imagines Julia Stiles's character felt like in <em>The Prince and Me,</em> when she finds out her boyfriend is the Crown Prince and future monarch of a whole country.</p><p>They lie in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts, until Sebastian suddenly speaks up. "I can't believe he's actually fucking coming," he grunts. "I wonder if Julian knows about it yet. He hasn't seen my granddad since before he went to Europe. I need to find him."</p><p>He starts to get up but Kurt stops him, curling over onto his side and throwing an arm over his boyfriend's chest. "Don't, not yet," he says.</p><p>"Kurt, I have to make sure he's okay," Sebastian protests. "And Liv, she's got to be pulling her hair out."</p><p>"I know," Kurt says, understanding his urgency. "But Liv is with your parents and Julian is with Cooper. Neither of them are alone. Let's just take a moment to breathe and pack our things without destroying them-"</p><p>Sebastian huffs with impatience, frowning and fidgeting a little under his touch.</p><p>"We'll figure this out. I've got to go help Liv with the flowers today anyway. You could come with me and we'll come up with a plan of action." He hesitates. "Or, I can leave it to you and your family to sort out, but...it <em>will </em>be sorted."</p><p>"Kurt," Sebastian whispers brokenly, stopping his resistance to Kurt's touch and wrapping his arms around him, holding him tight in place. "You <em>are</em> family. I didn't mean that earlier when I said that you weren't. I was just-"</p><p>"I know," Kurt offers. "I understood right after, but, Bas-" He pauses. It has to be said- he can't let this pass. He's not a doormat, no matter how dire the circumstances.</p><p>"You can't do that. You can't lash out at me when you're upset or scared, just because I'm there, especially when I'm only trying to help."</p><p>Sebastian closes his eyes and turns towards Kurt so that they're face to face. He moves his hand up to clutch at Kurt's neck and he presses their foreheads together. "I know, I'm sorry," he mumbles, "I'll try not to do that again." He brushes his lips against Kurt's. "I love you," he adds in a whisper.</p><p>Kurt's own eyes close and he breathes out as he pushes into the kiss, his own hands clutching Sebastian's back tightly. "I know," he whispers back. "I love you too."</p><p>They reassure each other for a while, making sure nothing is broken between them- it is the situation they need to fix, not themselves. When Kurt feels Sebastian is calm enough again, he pulls away a little and carefully broaches the next topic they should talk about.</p><p>"Tomorrow, when we meet up with my family, I may need a moment to talk to Rachel in private," he announces. "She sent me this text, and… I want her to understand that I am serious about you."</p><p>"Why? What did she say?" Sebastian asks, frowning a little.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head dismissively. "It doesn't matter. I'll set her straight. She just has some very fixed ideas about me and Blaine being soulmates. Like...I did too, I guess."</p><p>Sebastian swallows, and Kurt can see the doubt flickering in his eyes. He knows that promises and platitudes won't help to take it away- what Sebastian needs is the truth.</p><p>"When I met Blaine, I was having such a hard time at school," he starts. "I felt so alone, so hopeless...and there he was; the first openly gay guy I'd ever met, and he was kind and helpful...it felt like a sign, like he was the one I had been waiting to meet. I had felt <em>unwanted </em>for so long, and here was someone who wasn't only willing to be my friend, but<em> more.</em>"</p><p>He pulls up his shoulders. "You know how much I like romantic movies. It played right into that, and when we started dating, it felt like it was meant to be."</p><p>Kurt can see this is difficult for Sebastian to hear, but he pushes through, needing it to be said.</p><p>"Which is why it hurt so much when he broke up with me. I never saw it coming. I thought we were <em>forever</em>." He shakes his head a little. "Suddenly, I was all alone again."</p><p>Sebastian frowns, looking troubled. Kurt pushes on, because the coming part is what matters.</p><p>"I had built my dreams around him, and when he left, it felt like I had lost my purpose, my future. I still had my dream of NYADA, but…" He breaks off. "Spending time with you this summer changed everything. You were my friend when I needed one, and my boyfriend when I was ready to look forward again."</p><p>"But I'm not your soulmate," Sebastian says, his voice a little rough with emotion. Kurt isn't sure what he is hearing- regret? Self-pity? Or maybe just a question, longing for an answer. Kurt weighs his next words carefully.</p><p>"Neither was Blaine. I am not sure if they even exist, outside of Hollywood," he replies. "And maybe that's not a bad thing. It's hard to let someone else in if you've been led to believe there's only room for one."</p><p>He looks into Sebastian's eyes and takes his hand. "You've shown me that there is more than one person for everyone; that love is not a once-in-a-lifetime chance. And for every couple around us that makes us feel like that, for Liv and Brian, for Jules and Cooper, for your parents- there's stories like ours too, and my dad's. If there was only ever my mom for him, he couldn't have loved Carole as much as he does. I now believe we get a second chance at love."</p><p>Sebastian pulls up the corner of his mouth. "You sound like a Cher song," he jokes.</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Well, I've always been a bit of a diva."</p><p>They look at each other, and Kurt knows he has gotten his point across. It may be more romantic to believe in soulmates, but what Sebastian is offering him is real, and he's taking it.</p><p>He kisses Sebastian's lips, hoping he feels the realness too, and then he sends him out to Brian while he tries to salvage the sweater. It's all fixable - it has to be, because once Kurt sets his mind to something, he gets what he wants.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4M53xndqiU">Landslide - Fleetwood Mac</a><br/>There wasn't going to be a playlist for this chapter, but when we were going through a final read through yesterday this song happened to come on shuffle on my writing playlist and it dawned on me how perfect it is for Kurt, and Bas, and the whole situation.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Jonathan Van Ness; Thank you for being you. Your tenacity and joyous energy has gotten us through this. If we ever find ourselves struggs to func, we simply sit back and think “what would JVN say to me right now if he were here?”</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Kurt?"</p><p>"Hmm?" </p><p>"If you want this elevator to move at some point, you're going to have to press a button."</p><p>"Oh!"</p><p>Kurt shakes his head at himself and quickly presses the button for the ground floor, realizing he has been staring at the ornamental vase of flowers across the hotel hallway for what could have been minutes.</p><p>After they checked out of the casino hotel the day before, Kurt had met up with Olivia, Charlotte and Brian's mom at the florists while Sebastian and Brian went to meet some of Brian's elderly relatives arriving early. They had gone over pictures and layout plans of their venue, discussed what kind of arrangement could go where and how each piece could be used to set off and enhance the existing greenery of the garden. The florist had been extremely supportive of the change of venue - being local to the original location meant that she'd been heavily affected by the fire incident herself, losing many scheduled commissions, so she was happy to do whatever needed to be done to keep their business. </p><p>Kurt had heard a lot about the flowers from Olivia, had seen her scrapbook and mood boards, but nothing had prepared him for the opulence of nature's beauty laid before him in the refrigerator. </p><p>There were aisles and aisles of white and champagne coloured roses, soft purple clusters of hydrangeas and sweet peas, buckets of baby's breath; Kurt knew just by looking at them that they would fit in with the wild flowers growing in their garden with ease, complementing the soft blues, purples and whites of the blue phlox, wild bergamot and the mountain mints covering the grounds. The picture was coming together before his eyes, and the best was yet to come- with a special twinkle in her eye, the florist had unwrapped special boxes of large, bowl-shaped, double-bloomed peonies, pink and lucious; outrageously out of season but imported at a special price (of course). As soon as Kurt saw them, he knew that was what they needed by the tree and the photo backdrop.</p><p>Seeing the hotel flowers by the elevator had reminded Kurt of all of his visions- and the excitement of getting to see it all in real life in just one day. He can barely wait.</p><p>The elevator opens and they make their way to the breakfast hall hand in hand. Kurt sees the table where the Smythes and the Wiltons are waiting for them. Charlotte and Brian's parents are already there. A glance at the line for the buffet shows Greg and Brian loading trays with coffees and breakfast.</p><p>Kurt catches Charlotte's eye. She smiles at him lovingly and Kurt blushes a little with happiness. </p><p>His happiness is short lived, however, as the next second, Olivia is storming towards them with fire in her eyes. Kurt half opens his mouth to apologize- he may have dallied at the elevator but they're only <em>five</em> minutes late - but then Olivia is talking and he realises that <em>they</em> are not the cause of her anger.</p><p>"Have either of you seen or heard from Julian?" she demands. </p><p>Kurt frowns at her words. Now that he comes to think of it, no, he hasn't seen or heard from Julian since yesterday morning - one look at the confusion on Sebastian's face indicates that he hasn't heard from his brother either. </p><p>"I'm gonna kill him," Olivia states, shaking her head. "We're all pissed off that the old man is coming but that's no need for him to run and hide! He's Brian's best man and he promised to help."</p><p>"Liv, we all know what happened the last time Jules saw your grandfather," Brian says diplomatically, coming up behind Olivia. He offers her a cup of coffee, but she refuses. He puts it down on a nearby table and places a comforting hand on her back instead.</p><p>Kurt, in fact, <em>doesn't</em> know exactly what happened, but he has heard enough of the other stories to make an educated guess.</p><p>"Maybe he needs a bit more time to mentally prepare?" Brian offers. </p><p>"But he knows we've all got his back," Olivia counters. "There's strength in numbers."</p><p>"Maybe he and Cooper have just been too wrapped up in each other to realise a whole day has passed?" Sebastian offers. He glances at Kurt and the hint of a smirk flutters in the corner of his mouth. "It's been known to happen, and they've got a lot of time to catch up on." </p><p>Olivia wrinkles her nose, looking a little grossed out at the thought of either of her brothers losing track of time having sex, but quickly shakes herself out of it to focus back on her anger.</p><p>"I don't care!" she states, "I need him here. They've waited seven years to get back together - forty-eight more hours won't kill them."</p><p>"Does anyone know where Cooper is staying? Has Julian even checked into the hotel?" Kurt asks.</p><p>"He has," Greg says as he passes them, carrying his and Charlotte's breakfast on a tray. "I got the email confirmation yesterday evening. Cooper checked in with him as an extra on the room. They're still not here?" He looks around as if he could have possibly overseen his loudest, attention-seeking son and his semi-famous actor boyfriend.</p><p>"<em>No,"</em> Olivia spits out furiously, crossing her arms.</p><p>"Maybe we should go and find him?" Brian suggests. "Make sure he's okay?"</p><p>"Room 342," Greg says. "And tell him if he doesn't come down <em>I</em> will go and get him." The tone of his voice drops an octave, taking on a slightly harsher sound. The effect that voice has on his children is instant.</p><p>Sebastian bites his lip and avoids Greg's gaze, a flash of something passes across Olivia's eyes and Kurt's own eyes widen as he's suddenly confronted with the realisation that Greg is a <em>parent.</em> Maybe it's because most of the time he's spent with Sebastian's dad has been in a relaxed setting, or possibly because all of his children are now legally adults, but for the length of time that he's known Greg - Kurt has never actually seen his parenting technique. He's heard about it of course, (Sebastian was grounded for a week after ‘borrowing' his dad's car and -god the thought of that car still gives him butterflies) and Kurt knows that Sebastian still looks to his parents for a lot, but this is the first time he's seeing it for himself.</p><p>"Come on," Brian says, guiding Olivia forward with a gentle push on her back. "The sooner we drag him down here, the sooner we can eat. I'm <em>starving </em>and I need coffee.<em>"</em></p><p>Kurt nudges Sebastian. "Are we going with them?" he whispers. </p><p>Sebastian grins. "Are you kidding? Of course we are! Liv is gonna rip him a new one, I'm not gonna miss that." </p><p>He takes Kurt's hand and pulls him along, following the others to the elevator. Kurt hurries along, now smiling too. Sebastian's enthusiasm to watch his big brother get his comeuppance is infectious. As they get further away from his parents, Sebastian chuckles excitedly. "This is gonna be gold. Dad is pissed too. Thank fuck it's not at me for once!"</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Please, you're their youngest. The baby of the family. I've seen how they all treat you. I highly doubt you bore the brunt of their parenting."</p><p>"I did! More than Liv and Jules. Liv was always the golden girl-"</p><p>"Oh please!" Olivia cuts in."Remember when mom found my cigarettes that one time? I actually thought dad was gonna have an aneurysm. That vein in his forehead…"</p><p>"You <em>smoked?"</em> Kurt asks, shocked.</p><p>"For about a month when I was fifteen." Liv shrugs. "Everyone at school was doing it and my friend's sister would buy them for us. But it hurt my chest, my clothes <em>stunk</em> and dad threatened to sell Bertie if I didn't quit...my horse," she adds at Kurt's confused look. "God, he was a beauty, never failed a competition with him..." she drifts off as she reminisces. </p><p>Brian subtly clears his throat and she snaps back. "But yeah, it was enough to make me quit cold turkey and I've not looked back since." </p><p>Kurt ponders that as they walk along the corridor. He knows that Julian and Sebastian have both smoked - weed at least if nothing else. But somehow he never saw Olivia as that much of a rebel (he vaguely remembers Julian hinting at a slightly misspent youth, but he is having difficulty linking the woman in front of him now, who flew halfway around the world at short notice to rescue her little brother, with a rebellious teenager who smoked and hid her bounty in her bedroom).</p><p>They arrive outside Julian's room. Liv steps forward purposefully and knocks on the door. There's no answer. She knocks again, a little more fiercely. Still no answer. She knocks again, her small fist hammering into the white wood. "Julian!" she yells. "Open the door!"</p><p>"Liv, maybe you should keep it down, people might still be sleep-" Kurt tries carefully.</p><p>"I don't care," Olivia growls. "I'm getting married tomorrow and my ass of a big brother is going to drag himself out of bed whether he likes it or n-"</p><p>"Jesus Livvie," Julian says, opening the door. "Wanna knock any louder? There's people in New York who didn't hear you." </p><p>Olivia nearly falls into him, having put her whole weight into the last few knocks, but Julian catches her smoothly. He's casually dressed, wearing only boxers and a faded t-shirt - not like he had intended to join a family breakfast any time soon. </p><p>He looks down on the small angry girl in his arms with a pursed smile, and then over her head at the others. "Ah, the whole welcome committee is here," he drawls. "Good morning. How are you doing, fellas?"</p><p>"Where the <em>fuck</em> have you been, Julian?" Olivia demands, pulling herself out of his grip. "I'm getting married <em>tomorrow!"</em></p><p>"Yes darling sister, I know, you've talked about nothing else for the last 6 months…" Julian teases.</p><p>"Well, I'm gonna talk about it some more, because it's <em>tomorrow</em> and you're not downstairs helping me! What the fuck have you been doing for the past 24 hours?" </p><p>Something flashes across Julian's face; his smirk briefly falters, and his eyes darken. Before Kurt can figure out what it means (guilt? anger? sadness?) it's gone, and he schools his facial features into his trademark leer. </p><p>"Shouldn't that be: <em>who</em> the fuck have you been doing?" he says, letting the door fall open to reveal his hotel room.</p><p>Kurt takes the bait and looks around Julian into the room. It's almost a complete carbon copy of the room he and Sebastian are in. The blinds are drawn open letting in the morning sun, clothes are dotted around the floor and the bedsheets are very evidently <em>used</em>. Kurt can't fight the little blush when he thinks back to his and Sebastian's night after the casino and realizes that Julian and Cooper probably spent the last 24 hours the same way. </p><p>His eyes search the room for any sign of Julian's boyfriend, until the sound of the shower gives away his location.</p><p>"<em>Really, </em>Jules? Did you even come up for air?" Sebastian asks. "I must have called and texted you a hundred times. Did you see the group chat?"</p><p>Julian shrugs. It's clear from his expression that he hasn't. "Why?"</p><p>"Old man Smythe is coming," Brian states gravely. "He RSVPed yesterday."</p><p>"What?" Julian lets out. </p><p>"We thought that was why you locked yourself in here," Olivia adds. "We are actually <em>worried</em> about how you might have taken the news." She scoffs. "I see now that was a waste of time."</p><p>"Well, I was busy," Julian retorts defensively, and Kurt sees that little bit of doubt flicker in his eyes again.</p><p>"Yeah, busy doing what you always do, Jules! Doing what -and who- ever the fuck <em>you</em> want, without caring how that may affect anyone else!" Olivia shouts, pointing her finger at him. </p><p>Julian glances at Sebastian, his face open and vulnerable for a moment before it hardens.</p><p>"You know what, Liv-" he starts, but then Brian steps up between the two of them, shielding his wife to be.</p><p>"Okay, okay, come on," he says, looking from one to the other, looking like a toreador trying to intermediate between two bulls. </p><p>"Julian, you know we care about you and we are happy for you and Cooper getting back together, but we can really use your help right now. If your grandfather so much as smells weakness, he will attack, and then everything we worked so hard for; me, Liv, and especially <em>Kurt,</em> will be for nothing. He will ruin our wedding day." </p><p>He pauses, looking at Julian to see if his words have any effect. Julian glances at Kurt.</p><p>"Please, brother," Brian adds. "If you don't show, he's gonna go after Seb, you know that."</p><p>Julian frowns, sucking his teeth.</p><p>"I can take him," Sebastian says, lifting his chin. "I'm not a kid anymore."</p><p>That seems to make up Julian's mind. He sighs and an air of genuine remorse and guilt settles over him. "Alright. I'm sorry. I'll get dressed and come down. We both will. Coop can help as well." He looks at Olivia. "Whatever you want, just tell me what to do."</p><p>Olivia lets out a long breath through her nose, glaring at him. "Brian and I have a walk-through with the caterer later. Kurt's family is arriving in town soon and he and Seb are going to meet up with them for lunch. So I need someone to oversee the delivery and arranging of the furniture, set up an area for gifts…"</p><p>"Furniture?" Julian asks with a frown.</p><p>"The chairs and tables for the wedding breakfast," Kurt explains. "The floor plan and seating arrangements are all in my folder, I can show you were everything needs to go."</p><p>Julian nods. "Okay. Sure. Cooper and I will take care of it."</p><p>"And the rehearsal is at 4," Brian reminds him. "You'll need to be there by that time anyway."</p><p>"And dinner, after," Olivia adds. </p><p>Julian lets out a breath through puffed cheeks. "Alright. You can count on me."</p><p>Kurt braces himself for a cutting remark from Olivia, but much to his surprise, she lifts herself up to her toes and kisses Julian's cheek. "I know," she says. </p><p>*****</p><p>"So on a scale from one to ten, how much does Rachel still hate me?" Sebastian asks as they wait outside the restaurant for Kurt's family to arrive. He's leaning nonchalantly against the fence that lines the walkway from parking lot to the entrance, long legs stretched out in front of him with his ankles crossed and his hands shoved deep into his pockets - a pose that Kurt has come to know means that his boyfriend is nervous.</p><p>"She doesn't <em>hate </em>you," Kurt reassures him, stepping in front of him and wrapping an arm around Sebastian's shoulders (enjoying the brief moment that he's taller than his boyfriend). </p><p>"She doesn't <em>know </em>you, and you don't know her. We all got started off on a bad foot, but now; I love you, my parents love you, Finn has forgiven you and likes you, and Rachel will too."</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "I don't care if she likes me or not, honestly." </p><p>Kurt knows he mostly means it, but if he didn't care at all, he wouldn't be asking. </p><p>"But, I know she means a lot to you," Sebastian continues, "so I will give her a chance, but I'm not gonna take any of her shit."</p><p>Kurt rubs Sebastian's back and kisses the top of his head. "I wouldn't expect anything less."</p><p>"There he is! <em>Kurt!</em>" </p><p>They both turn at the sound of Carole's voice and Kurt smiles at his step mother. It's the first time he's seen her in weeks and he hadn't realised how much he had missed her. He gives Sebastian a final squeeze and then breaks away to greet her with a hug. </p><p>"Oh sweetie, I've missed you, how was the vacation? You look fantastic with a tan!" Carole lets out, admiring him from all sides.</p><p>Kurt pulls back and beams at her. "Oh, it was amazing! I can't wait to show you the photos, we saw dolphins! Actual dolphins." She smiles at him and places a hand on his cheek.</p><p>"I can't wait to hear all about it."</p><p>Over her shoulder, Kurt can see Sebastian shaking Burt's hand and greeting Finn and Rachel with a, if slightly forced, smile. Carole follows his eye and winks at him, walking over and bestowing a hug on Sebastian. Kurt knows she'll use her mom-presence to keep Rachel and Seastian in check for now.</p><p>"Hey kiddo," Burt says, hugging Kurt tightly. "You two alright?" </p><p>"We are. How was the flight?" Kurt asks, returning the hug.</p><p>"Ah not too bad, clear skies so no turbulence. No food, though, but Carole let me have a beer."</p><p>"And the hotel?" Due to the short notice of their invitation, his family hadn't been able to book into the same hotel as the wedding party so they were in another one a couple of blocks away.</p><p>"We only dropped our luggage off so far, we haven't seen much of it yet but we didn't want to keep you waiting."</p><p>"My dad said he's sorry he couldn't get you into the same one as ours," Sebastian says, stepping over and placing a hand on Kurt's back. "He really tried but they're fully booked."</p><p>"Don't sweat it kid, we'll do just fine in ours," Burt says.</p><p>"Our hotel has an arcade," Finn adds helpfully. "Does yours?"</p><p>"You know what, it <em>doesn't,</em>" Sebastian offers, and Kurt is pretty sure only he can hear the veiled sarcasm, because outwardly he sounds pretty genuine. "I wish we were staying at yours."</p><p>Finn, taking Sebastian's words at face value, beams at him. "We should totally go later, the website says they have twelve different pinball machines. <em>Twelve</em>."</p><p>Rachel is watching Sebastian's reactions like a hawk, and Kurt decides to distract her. Sebastian just needs a moment to warm up, and he wants to give him a chance. He knows his boyfriend can be charming- he proved so in Ohio. </p><p>"I love your dress, Rachel," he says, while Sebastian indulgently listens to Finn list whatever other arcade games the hotel supposedly offers. "It's new, isn't it?"</p><p>"I got it for NYADA," Rachel grudgingly offers, her eyes still on Sebastian. "It's weird seeing him without his Dalton uniform," she adds in a whisper so only Kurt can hear. So much for distracting her.</p><p>"Well, he doesn't wear that anymore, Rach. We all graduated, remember?"</p><p>"I guess," she says. </p><p>"Come on Rachel, give him a chance, please?"</p><p>Her eyes sweep over Finn one more time and must have decided that he's in no immediate danger, because her shoulders relax and she turns to look at Kurt properly.</p><p>"You do look really good," she offers. "I've never seen you with a tan."</p><p>Kurt grins. "Two and a half weeks in the sun will do that, though I got pretty badly sunburned our first day there-'' Rachel opens her mouth to say something and Kurt cuts her off. </p><p>"It was <em>my</em> fault for not thinking about sunscreen, but Sebastian's mom keeps Aloe Vera plants out the front of the property and he patched me up. And then brought out the beach umbrella for the rest of the time we were there." He keeps the bit about rubbing sunscreen on each other to himself. Rachel (and more importantly his <em>family</em>) don't need to know those details. He does, however, want to stress how gentlemanly his boyfriend has been.</p><p>"Shall we head in then?" Burt asks, offering Carole his arm. Seeing him do it, Finn immediately offers Rachel his arm too, beaming at her as she takes it.</p><p>Kurt can feel Rachel's eyes on him, waiting for his move. Kurt turns away from her and takes Sebastian's hand, leading him towards the restaurant after his dad and Carole. If she wants to know who wears the pants in their relationship; tough luck.</p><p>"Everything okay?" Sebastian asks quietly.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt reassures him. "Thank you for indulging Finn." </p><p>"He's a bit like Julian," Sebastian says, shrugging his shoulder and smiling at him. "Easily pleased."</p><p>"That's true," Kurt agrees with a grin.</p><p>They enter the restaurant and Sebastian steps up to the maitre'd. "Table for 6 at 1:30, booked under Smythe, please?"</p><p>The maitre'd checks the booking and smiles at him. "Very good, Mr Smythe, if you'd like to follow me, I'll show you to your table."</p><p>Sebastian smiles at him and gestures for the family to walk ahead of him and Kurt. The maitre'd leads them to a table on a raised platform towards the back of the building. Floor to ceiling windows run along the back and side wall and from their table they've got a beautiful view of the river.</p><p>A waitress takes over from the maitre'd and they place their drinks order with her before she leaves to give them time to ponder the meal.</p><p>"Lunch is on my dad, guys," Sebastian offers. Burt opens his mouth to object but Sebastian shakes his head. "Please, he insisted and I'll be in trouble if he finds out I messed it up. You're our guests and have travelled at short notice."</p><p>Burt grumbles a bit but Kurt interjects. ("Just go with it dad") and Burt simmers down.</p><p>"This place is beautiful," Carole admires, looking around.</p><p>"A recommendation from Brian's parents, it's one of their favourites," Sebastian says. "I have never been here, but they say the Porterhouse steak is very good."</p><p>"What does his dad do?" Burt asks, eyes running down the menu.</p><p>"He's a lawyer. He has his own law firm in New York."</p><p>"Isn't your dad a lawyer too?" Rachel asks. </p><p>Kurt catches the look of surprise on her face when she realises she openly spoke to Sebastian, and hebites the corner of his mouth. </p><p>"I mean, that's what you said before-" Rachel amends.</p><p>"He is, yeah," Sebastian agrees. "But he's also in business with my granddad and that takes up a lot of his time. More than he wants to. He prefers law."</p><p>At the mention of his grandfather and the business, Kurt places a comforting hand on Sebastian's leg - a movement not lost on anyone at the table - and subtly changes the subject to something that will put Rachel at ease - herself. </p><p>"Tell me more about your new wardrobe, Rach. Where did you get this dress? And what else did you get? I hear ocre is the new color for autumn and it will go amazing with your hair…"</p><p>After that, conversation flows freely. Sebastian is just as charming today as he had been all the other times he's been around Kurt's family and it makes Kurt's heart swell with pride. When Sebastian notices Burt and Finn getting bored with Kurt and Rachel's fashion talk (Kurt managed to rope Carole in as well by asking her about her outfit for the wedding), he strikes up a talk about the workshop, taking a leaf out of Kurt's book by letting the others talk about themselves and their interests. Burt is probably aware of what he is doing and turns it back on him a few times, asking Sebastian about his car and the yacht - <em>or maybe,</em> Kurt tells himself sternly,<em> they are just having smalltalk - I need to stop analyzing the dynamics of this meeting and just try to enjoy myself with my family. </em></p><p>After that, topics come more easily, and by the time they arrive at dessert, Rachel has stopped watching Sebastian as closely. Just to be sure she gets the message, Kurt orders one dessert for him and Sebastian to share.</p><p>When his dad needs to take a call and Carole uses the momentum to go to the bathroom, Sebastian goes to the front desk to settle the bill, taking Finn with him to give Kurt a moment alone with Rachel. </p><p>"So?" Kurt asks Rachel quietly, helping her into her jacket. </p><p>"He's...different," Rachel says cautiously, her eyes drifting over to where Sebastian had been previously sitting. "He's nothing like what I expected."</p><p>"I told you," Kurt says with a smug grin. "That guy we met last year, that wasn't the <em>real</em> him. This Sebastian, <em>my </em>Sebastian-"</p><p>"<em>Your</em> Sebastian," Rachel echoes, pausing with her arm half into her sleeve and looking up at him.</p><p>"It still sounds so weird. I mean, the last time we talked about this, you agreed he was <em>temporary</em>. Just for the summer, to help you with missing Blaine until he came back. And here you are, holding hands, sharing food- and you're all integrated into his family...I mean, they invited <em>us </em>to his sister's wedding, like the two of you are...like you're-" </p><p>She wraps her jacket closed over her chest, and Kurt braces himself for what he knows is coming.</p><p>"A real couple," she finishes in an awed whisper.</p><p>"We <em>are </em>a real couple, Rachel," Kurt says. "I am in love with him."</p><p>"When did this happen? How- don't you love Blaine?"</p><p>Kurt sighs. "I <em>did</em> love him, and I guess a part of me still does...but he broke my heart, Rachel. He left me at the start of the summer for greener pastures and…" he pauses for a moment to swallow the bile in his throat. "It only took him nine days to find them."</p><p>Her eyes widen. "<em>Nine days?"</em> </p><p>Kurt nods bitterly. </p><p>"Are you sure? That doesn't sound like him at all! We sang so many songs about true love and ‘forever after's together, it always felt so <em>real-"</em></p><p>"Love songs are not real life," Kurt says. "And yes. I'm positive. Cooper told me."</p><p>"<em>Cooper?</em> Blaine's brother? When did you see him?"</p><p>Kurt glances at Sebastian, who is chatting aimiably with the maitre'd, and figures they still have time. He briefly explains the history between the Smythes and the Anderson family and how he bumped into Cooper at the gala.</p><p>"Wow," Rachel says wide-eyed, her shoulders falling. She looks a little overwhelmed with all of the new information about people she doesn't know, and people she <em>thought</em> she knew.</p><p>"I know," Kurt says, taking her hand.</p><p>"Blaine never said anything about Cooper," she whispered.</p><p>"I'm not sure he knows, actually," Kurt admits. "I think he would have told me if he did. We always talked about everything." He swallows. "Well, until he broke off all contact with me, that is, and I had to hear about his adventures in San Francisco from his brother."</p><p>Rachel winces. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. Are you okay?" She links their fingers together and squeezes them. "I guess hearing that from Cooper must have hurt."</p><p>"I'm okay now," he assures her. "It did hurt. A lot. But Sebastian helped me through it. In a way, he's been helping me all summer long. I needed a friend, Rachel - when Blaine left, I didn't just lose a boyfriend. I lost my best friend, the one person I could always tell everything to, share my mind with. The one who knew me better than anyone. One day he was there, and the next...he was gone. It was like suddenly missing a limb. I sent him texts and even left him a long voicemail, telling him about how conflicted I felt for liking Sebastian- but he never even acknowledged them." </p><p>He shrugs helplessly. "Hearing that he just moved on to someone else while I was still hurting, missing him, needing him-" He breaks off. </p><p>Tears are in Rachel's eyes now, and her lip is trembling. </p><p>"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you this summer," she says softly. "I thought you needed some time to get it all out of your system before things would go back to normal. I...didn't approve of that, but I thought I was doing the right thing giving you space."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "It wasn't your job to fill the vacancy that Blaine left," he says honestly. "And for the longest time, <em>I </em>didn't even approve of what I was doing, myself. But the more time I spent with him, the more I realized it wasn't just...physical attraction-" He can't make himself say ‘or the money'. "I just genuinely enjoyed his company and his friendship. Things were already becoming normal- our new normal." He pauses. </p><p>"Back in Ohio, you said Sebastian wasn't ‘a future guy'."</p><p>Rachel nods, wiping at her cheek. </p><p>"The future I thought I had with Blaine is gone," Kurt continues simply. "He took that with him when he left. Sebastian was the one who gave me a new one."</p><p>Tears are rolling down Rachel's cheeks in earnest now. Kurt cocks his head and puts his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, come on, what's this?" he asks gently.</p><p>"Everything is changing. Why does everything have to change?" she asks plaintively.</p><p>Kurt frowns. "Blaine and I breaking up is not the end of the world, Rach. I mean, it felt like it to me at the time, but…"</p><p>"My dads are getting a divorce," she blurts out.</p><p>"What? Oh no…"</p><p>Rachel nods, wiping at her eyes again with more force, but unable to stop the tears from slipping out anew. "They told me so a few days ago. Apparently they took a cruise together, and there was some guy...I don't know....a gym instructor or- Kurt, they're selling the house!" </p><p>Rachel's voice rises and she looks at him desperately. "I know it shouldn't matter because <em>I'm</em> the one moving to New York, but it's my <em>home</em>. What am I going to do over breaks? Where am I going to go? Are they going to make me choose which one of them I am going to celebrate Hanukkah with?" Her voice breaks, and Kurt's heart breaks with it. </p><p>"I know it probably doesn't help much, but you're always welcome at my place, wherever I am. It would be a B.Y.O.M, but…"</p><p>"B.Y..?" Rachel starts uncertainty. "Bring your own-?"</p><p>"Menorah," they finish together, and Rachel chokes out a laugh through her tears. She stands up on her tiptoes and hugs Kurt tightly. "I love you so much," she whispers. Kurt squeezes her tightly in return until she starts letting go, and then sets her back on her feet. </p><p>Rachel lets out a long breath. "I never thought this would happen," she admits. "People always say that highschool romances don't last. But<em> we</em> were the ones who were going to prove everyone wrong! It was always going to be you and me in New York, with Finn and Blaine by our sides!" She lets out a frustrated sigh. </p><p>"You and Blaine were the only stable couple in Glee Club. If anyone was going to make it, it was <em>you guys.</em> And now, if even you didn't make it...what does that say for me and Finn?"</p><p>Finally, Kurt understands, His heart goes out to her. "Oh Rachel, Finn loves you. Just because your dads are getting divorced and Blaine and I broke up, doesn't mean you guys will. You have your own story to write. When did Miss Rachel Berry ever let anyone stop her?" </p><p>She nods, but Kurt can tell she's still going over everything in her head. </p><p>"And...even if it <em>doesn't</em> work out-" he continues gently, "because one thing I've learned this summer is that <em>nothing</em> is ever certain- It doesn't mean that you won't find someone else. I did, when I least expected it. And if your parents do too, you'll end up with <em>four </em>dads," he adds as a little joke. "Imagine all the ponies you'll get for your birthday."</p><p>Rachel laughs a little. "Oh, Kurt. I missed you."</p><p>"Me too, Rachel. I have <em>so </em>much to tell you. I spent the last two weeks at the Smythes' beach house in North Carolina. I'm telling you, Sebastian's closet there is bigger than Ms Pillsbury's whole office."</p><p><em>"Their</em> beach house?" Rachel whispers in awe. "Just how rich are they?"</p><p>"Oh Rach," he pats her hand gently. "You have <em>no</em> idea! Not even I don't fully do. But it doesn't matter. I'd love him if he was penniless."</p><p>She looks up at him with searching eyes and he sees the moment it finally clicks.</p><p>"You really <em>do</em> love him." He smiles at her and nods. </p><p>"Yes," he says confidently. "It's not always easy, but communication is key. We both had a lot of prejudices and misconceptions to work on, but once we were honest with each other...it just worked. And we <em>have fun</em> together. We enjoy each other's company and can joke and laugh both with, and <em>at</em> each other." He smirks. "And at others."</p><p>She smiles at him, a genuine, loving smile,and squeezes his hand. "I'm happy for you Kurt, and I promise to do better from now on."</p><p>"Hey, me too," he offers in return. He nods at the front of the restaurant and holds out his arm. "Shall we go and find everyone? I wouldn't put it past Finn to ditch us and drag my boyfriend off to the arcade."</p><p>Rachel laughs and nods, hooking her arm in his.</p><p>They meet the rest of the party at the entrance and Kurt beams at Sebastian as he leads Rachel to Finn, before joining Sebastian's side and taking his arm instead. Sebastian presses a soft kiss to his cheek.</p><p>"All good?" he asks quietly. "You look happy." Kurt turns his head to capture his lips for a real kiss, making a show of holding the contact for a beat too long.</p><p>"Everything's perfect," he says with a smile.</p><p>*****</p><p>"Honestly Kurt, I don't know how we can thank you for everything you've done," Brian's mother Samantha says as they all walk up the sweeping gravel path towards the hotel. They've just arrived back after the rehearsal. The run through of tomorrow's events had gone extremely well and the whole venue looked amazing, just as Kurt had pictured in his mind. It is sure to be a magical day. "You're a miracle worker." </p><p>"I just wanted to help," Kurt says humbly, though inside he is bursting with pride. <em>This </em>is what he craves, why he wants to be a performer; <em>applause.</em></p><p>"I mean it, after the tragedy of Twin Keep burning down," Samatha continues, "everyone thought that things would have to be postponed for sure and we were devastated. We've all been waiting for this day for so long...since Liv and Brian were little! And then Brian told us that you'd <em>actually</em> found something <em>four</em> days before the wedding, and none of us even <em>dreamed</em> it would be as magnificent as it is."</p><p>Kurt smiles bashfully and he feels a reassuring hand press against the small of his back. He glances to the side and smiles at Sebastian, who is looking amused- no doubt he knows that Kurt is being extra modest in hopes of more praise. It's really quite irritating that he sees through that.</p><p>"Thank you," Kurt says. "I'm really glad everyone likes it - I <em>really</em> love weddings."</p><p>He doesn't care that it's one of the biggest gay clichées in the book - he does, and he's probably going to cry at the ceremony too. Anyone who has a problem with that can go to someone's <em>barn wedding</em> instead. (That expression had become something of a joke between him and Olivia after what they had been through: ‘the caterer asks if we want any eggs' - ‘eggs, EGGS? Are we having a <em>barn wedding</em>?!' - ‘Julian, stop messing around and set the chairs! If you and Cooper can't behave you can go to someone's barn wedding!')</p><p>Brian's mother beams at him and her eyes twinkle. </p><p>"I knew he'd pull through," Greg adds, holding the front door to the hotel open for them all. "He organised Congressman Burt Hummel's wedding when he was still in high school! Kurt is a genius. I'm happy Sebastian was able to snatch him up."</p><p>"If they get into a fight about who gets to cut your meat at dinner I am bailing," Sebastian murmurs into Kurt's ear once they're inside, and Kurt elbows him in the ribs. </p><p>"I worked hard for this," he whispers, half-offended, half amused at Sebastian's jealousy over the praise from his dad. "Can you let me enjoy it just for a little while?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," Sebastian grumbles. He guides Kurt a little away from the group so they can talk without being overheard. </p><p>"I'm sorry. I just don't like it when they make it sound like you <em>graciously</em> accepted dating me against all odds, like I begged you on my knees."</p><p>"You really kind of did," Kurt reminds him under his breath, and quickly smiles angelically at Charlotte and Brian's father as they pass them with the maitre'd. </p><p>"They don't know that, though. Can you leave me a shred of dignity, please? I wasn't completely useless today, unlike Julian."</p><p>"I know," Kurt sighs, and glances at Julian and Cooper. They are talking quietly between themselves again, standing huddled together on the other side of the lobby. Something feels off - they don't exactly have that newlyweds glow he had expected after spending a whole day in a hotel room together. He turns to Sebastian. "I will give credit where credit is due," he promises, "if you can be happy for me as well."</p><p>Sebastian smiles. "I am. I'm so damn proud of you, babe, you know that. What you did to the place is amazing. When you showed me the pictures last week I could never have imagined it would look like this, even though you talked me through all of the things you wanted to do <em>at length</em>-" he winks and Kurt rolls his eyes. Yes, he had talked about it a lot. But that actually helped to shape his plans, and Sebastian was a good listener to bounce ideas off of. </p><p>"I also made time to do other things <em>at length</em>," Kurt quips, "so you can't talk yourself out of this one. I win. The day is mine, and I am taking the bows. Everything is coming up Hummel. Accept it."</p><p>"If that is supposed to be a Broadway reference, you're even dorkier than I imagined."</p><p>"And yet, you <em>caught </em>the reference, dork."</p><p>"Kurt! I want you to sit with me!" Olivia announces, grabbing his arm as she breezes in to break them up. She leads them into the dining room and towards a large, circular table in the back, bracketed in from two sides with plants and decorative room dividers. If Kurt hadn't seen (and approved of) the table settings for the wedding, this decked out table would have been the epitome of his gourmet dining fantasies. The crystal glasses, the gleaming cutlery, the cloth napkins - and not a free breadstick in sight. Chandeliers hang overhead, their lights making everything sparkle. </p><p>Olivia and Brian take the first seats, sitting down together, and under Olivia's instant tugging, Kurt sits down on her other side. Olivia asks their guests to mingle and get to know each other. Sebastian ends up in the seat opposite Kurt, sitting with his brother and Cooper. Kurt gets Charlotte to his right and she smiles at him warmly as she sits down. Thankfully, she provides a buffer between him and Olivia's bridesmaids. He hopes they will behave themselves.</p><p>He'd tolerated their behaviour at the engagement party; partly because he was there as Sebastian's guest and they had only just been learning how to tread in the new water of their friendship, but also because they were Olivia's friends. But when he'd passed by them earlier this afternoon and overheard them plotting on how to lure Julian and Cooper apart so that they could ‘have a turn', he'd had to put his foot down.</p><p>He had reminded them that they were here with a job to do; it was Olivia and Brian's big day and it was their job to help Olivia with whatever she needed, and make the day as magical as possible; and <em>not</em> to simply wear pretty dresses and lust after the bride's brothers. He had made it very clear that both Julian and Cooper were off limits, and that if they were looking for a best gay on their arm, they could look elsewhere.</p><p>Things had gotten a little awkward after that, though Kurt had tried to be as kind as he could. Deep down, he knew they were pretty harmless. He also knew that now that they were back together, <em>nothing </em>would separate Julian and Cooper ever again...but he was sick of pretty straight girls latching on to the nearest gay guy and assuming they were all the same; flamboyant, excitable and ready to talk about boys and give make-overs.</p><p>He has also informed them that he goes by no other name than Kurt or Mr Hummel, and if any of them feel the need to ‘cutify' it to ‘Kurtsie' or ‘Kurtikins', he will make sure they will stand in the back of the photos and will have zero chance at catching Olivia's bouquet. </p><p>His warning seems to have worked, because they were incredibly docile the rest of the rehearsal, almost treating Julian and Cooper like they were invisible.</p><p>As the host of the rehearsal dinner, Brian's father, August, briefly exchanges a few words with the waiting staff, ordering a round of champagne for everyone to start the dinner off. While they wait for their glasses to be filled, the guests make polite smalltalk among themselves. Kurt finds himself pulled into another conversation about the cottage and feels his face flush with happiness. When everyone has a glass of sparkling champagne in front of them, August rises from his seat with his glass in hand. </p><p>"My dear family," he starts. "We have had a long time to prepare for this day. We all knew it was coming-" He smiles and nods at the couple, "From the moment they met, these two were inseparable. Of course, that was helped on a little by us parents spending the summer holidays together...but in our defence: summers can be very long if you have to entertain your only child by yourself!!" He pauses for a few laughs of the older generation at the table. Kurt smiles as well- he has heard his father say this quite a lot, which is why he always ended up taking Kurt with him to the workshop.</p><p>"But even as they grew, Olivia and Brian only seemed to grow <em>towards</em> each other. I remember driving them home from their first date; sitting together in the back of my car, giggling and talking in a language only they could understand. That was the moment I knew that they would be together forever."</p><p>A few of the guests rap their knuckles on the table in a quiet applause.</p><p>"Brian," August continues, turning to his son, "I am so proud of the man you have become. Watching you grow and learn has been one of the privileges of my life. Thank you for teaching me what it means to be a father."</p><p>Kurt swallows a little at August's words and glances at Brian. He's looking up at his dad with open affection, unshed tears glistening in his eyes.</p><p>"Olivia," August adds, turning to his daughter-in-law to be, "When Brian told me that he was going to propose, it honestly felt like all our dreams were coming true. My darling girl, you've always been like a daughter to us and we could not be happier that from tomorrow, it will be official."</p><p>Olivia subtly dabs under her eye with her finger and Kurt hands her his napkin.</p><p>"Greg, Charlotte, I would like to personally thank you for bringing this caring, smart, funny girl into the world and our lives. She is a truly remarkable person with a bright, bright future ahead of her and the credit for that, has to go to you both."</p><p>Charlotte and Greg exchange a look, both beaming with pride and gratitude.</p><p>"No wedding is without its obstacles, and unfortunately, no one could have foreseen our original venue being lost to a devastating fire. But we knew that no matter where it happened, or how long it took to find a new place, <em>nothing</em> would stop these two from getting married...and it'll be a <em>great</em> story to tell the grandkids."</p><p>Everyone chuckles and August takes a deep breath.</p><p>"I'd like to end this speech by giving you a few words of advice." He turns to the couple again. "Set aside time to connect as often as possible. Brian - in our line of work it can be far too easy to get so caught up in a case that it takes over our lives. You can't let it. Making time for each other is the <em>key</em> to a successful marriage, and always say ‘I love you'."</p><p>Kurt looks at the couple and smiles. Olivia has her head resting on Brian's shouler and his hand is resting over her lap. He looks up at Sebastian, who's looking right back at him and he winks. Sebastian winks back and grins. </p><p>"Learn to attack problems, not each other," August continues "There will be days when you argue and there will be things you don't agree on, particularly when you have children; but no matter what the obstacle is in front of you, if you face it with a united front, you will beat it."</p><p>Brian gives his father a firm nod. Kurt can tell he is taking this very seriously, and he expects nothing less. He trusts Brian completely.</p><p>"And finally," August concludes,"Never ever stop being friends." He looks down at his wife, who winks at him, and then holds up his champagne. "I'd like to ask everyone now to please raise your glasses and toast to ‘Olivia and Brian, may they have a long and happy marriage'."</p><p>They all pick up their glasses and raise a toast. Kurt is already blinking quickly to keep his features under control, but he can see he is not the only one by far- both Greg and Samantha are visibly moved, and interestingly enough, so is Cooper. Brian kisses the top of Olivia's head and then gets up to round the table and hug his dad. They exchange a few quiet words between father and son, and then Brian returns to his seat. Olivia wraps her arm around him and strokes his back. </p><p>Greg waits for him to sit down and then rises from his seat. "Thank you, August, that was beautiful. Now, I know it's not my turn until tomorrow," he announces, "and I have a few quality jokes lined up for that so I'll keep it short tonight: Brian, you are a wonderful man, and on behalf of myself and Charlotte, we welcome you to our family wholeheartedly, despite your attitude about Smythe Game Night. Cheers!"</p><p>They all laugh, and from the corner of his eye, Kurt can see Julian whisper an explanation into Cooper's ear. It's the first time he has seen him genuinely smile all afternoon, and as Cooper smiles back at him, they briefly share a kiss. </p><p><em>Whatever it is that is going on, it's not about them</em>, Kurt concludes, and his heart feels a little lighter. Maybe he is just imagining it all. He has been hypervigilant all week trying to spot wedding mishaps and doom scenarios before they happen, so it's possible that has spilled out to other parts of his day.</p><p>Brian and Olivia exchange a few quiet words between them as well. Is he imagining it, or does Kurt hear them mention his name? Then, Olivia nods and Brian stands up. "Before we order our meals, I would like to say a few words as well," he announces. </p><p>"Like my dad already said, nothing was ever going to stop me from marrying Liv; My love, I would have married you at a Vegas drive through with Elvis as a best man and Marilyn Monroe as our bridesmaid, and I know you feel the same way. We could have gotten married anywhere-"</p><p>"Except in a barn!" Olivia deadpans, and Kurt cracks up.</p><p>"But I could not be more grateful that we are here instead, with a beautiful location that's, in my opinion, even better than the one we had before, and we owe it all to Kurt."</p><p>Kurt sits up, blinking. He looks around to see all the faces at the table smile at him. He's not sure where to focus his eyes. Finally, he ends up looking straight ahead at Sebastian. When he catches his eye, Sebastian winks.</p><p>"So, in order to thank him," Brian continues, "I would like to present a little surprise…"</p><p>Kurt breathes in sharply. He gets an awful sense of foreboding, and Brian's next words confirm it. </p><p>"Kurt recently told us he has been accepted to the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts-" he pauses and nods to his guests, as if to show how impressive that is, which is a nice touch, but Kurt is so on edge he can't really appreciate it-, "but that there were some difficulties with his tuition. However-"</p><p><em>Please don't say you are giving me the money,</em> Kurt begs quietly, beginning to panic. Can he refuse if they do? Right in front of Greg and Charlotte, and Brian's parents? </p><p>Olivia hands Brian an envelope, and Brian smiles. Kurt feels sick to his stomach.</p><p>"I was able to convince them to stay your payment for a semester," Brian announces. "After that, you can choose to pay it in installments."</p><p>"Huh?" Kurt lets out eloquently.</p><p>"They had left you far too little time," Brian explains. "I looked it up. Whilst you were looking at flowers yesterday, Sebastian and I dug through <em>hundreds </em>of long-winded files of student administration cases and we finally found some precedence- a court ruling against retracting grants within 4 months of the semester's start. </p><p>"They miscalculated by a week, Kurt, and we found legal grounds for you to protest. I took the liberty of contacting NYADA in lieu of your lawyer." He hands Kurt the letter. "It's all in there."</p><p>"So...what does this mean?" Kurt whispers. </p><p>"It means you're going to NYADA!" Julian lets out eagerly, having connected the dots a little quicker. "School starts in September, sweetheart! Up top for the New Yorkers!" He stands up and holds out his hand over the table and Olivia high-fives him.</p><p>Kurt closes his eyes, because everything has started spinning. <em>I've only had two sips of champagne,</em> he thinks vaguely, before the voice in his head becomes louder and louder. <em>I can go to NYADA? I CAN GO TO NYADA! </em></p><p>Using his own money (well, he'd need some help from his dad but he was always going to help him), without any hand-outs or debts with the Smythes / Wiltons (and without having to make Sebastian sell bodyshots). HE IS GOING TO NYADA!</p><p>"This is incredible," he lets out. "I can't believe you did this for me!"</p><p>"Next time, if you need legal help, please give us a little more warning, okay?" Brian jokes. "The deadline for your payment was in two weeks. That's cutting it pretty damn close!"</p><p>Kurt chokes out a laugh, and now his tears really are rolling down his face and he clasps his hands over his mouth. Without pause, Sebastian rises from his seat and walks over to him, crouching next to his chair and sliding a hand down his back soothingly.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Sebastian asks in a hushed whisper, looking up at him. Kurt keeps his hands over his face and nods vigorously. "Just - happy- " he gasps. <em>"Thank you,"</em> he says leaning towards him to press a kiss to his lips. "Thank you so much."</p><p>Sebastian smiles into the kiss and squeezes Kurt's side. "You're welcome baby. It was boring as fuck, but it was for a good cause." </p><p>Kurt hiccups and kisses him again.</p><p>A soft clearing of a throat makes them break apart and he looks towards the source of the noise. His eyes fall on Greg, who is looking a little disappointed. </p><p>"Why didn't you come to us, Kurt?" he asks softly. "Why are we only hearing about this now? You know we'd help you with anything."</p><p>"He didn't want our money, dad," Sebastian says. "Believe me, we've all tried."</p><p>"But-" Greg starts but is silenced by a look from his wife, who has placed her hand gently on Kurt's shoulder and is rubbing it soothingly.</p><p>Kurt nods, finally lowering his hands. "You have to understand," he offers, "that it felt a little...awkward to talk about money in a family where money is never an issue. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea about me and Sebastian, about why we are together." He glances at Carter.</p><p>"Never!" Greg lets out, and Kurt's happiness is dampened just a tiny bit by his guilty conscience. </p><p>Charlotte squeezes his shoulder and offers him a warm smile. "We understand that, Kurt, of course we do. But from now on, if you ever need anything, please please come and talk to us. We will always respect your wishes, but give us the opportunity to help."</p><p>Kurt looks at her, her bright green eyes so like her son's, and Kurt knows that she means it. He nods. "I promise."</p><p>Charlotte smiles and presses a kiss to his forehead before sitting back and raising her glass. "To NYADA!"</p><p>Kurt raises his glass as well. "To Brian and Sebastian!" he adds. Sebastian stands up and squeezes Kurt's other shoulder before returning to his seat to pick up his glass for the toast as well. As Kurt sips his champagne he feels a little light headed. It's a lot to take in, in the space of five minutes. He has to remind himself to breathe.</p><p>The wait staff start handing out menus and Kurt uses it as a good distraction from his thoughts. He pretends to study the pages, but the letters keep blurring in front of his eyes, being replaced by visions of skyscrapers, yellow cabs and his name on a billboard on the corner of Times Square and 7th- <em>he is actually going to NYADA!</em> </p><p>Not a year from now, not someday, but in 3 weeks! He will get to work with its famous teachers, all former stars or trainers to the stars themselves, learn their craft, hone his talents...and from there on out, his future sure looks bright. He idly runs his finger down the page, enjoying the fantasy.</p><p>He doesn't get much reprieve however, as next to him, Charlotte coughs a little and taps her glass with her knife. The chatter that had started up after Brian's speech dies down and they all politely turn their attention to her. </p><p>"Thank you. Thanks everyone. Sorry, one more before we can order." She smiles brightly. Kurt can see she has taken a small box from her purse. It has a baby blue bow on it. </p><p>"I would like to use this opportunity to say a few words too. As Brian has already said, this current location is even more beautiful than the one we lost, and the only reason we could all be here today to rehearse what will surely be the wedding of the decade, is you, Kurt." </p><p>She looks at him fondly, and Kurt feels blood rise in his cheeks. His fingers search for something on the table, finding the hem of a cloth napkin, and he smooths it nervously as he offers her a smile.</p><p>"Greg and I have tried to think of something to thank you for everything you have done for our family, not just in words but in a tangible way." She pauses and looks down on the box she is holding. </p><p>"Now, I think Brian has already given you a gift better than anything money could buy," she suggests, and Kurt nods wordlessly, choking up again, his lips pressed tightly together. He looks over at Brian, who inclines his head. </p><p>"But we would also like to give you this, so you may look at it in the future and remember this day, just like we will always remember it. With all our hearts: thank you, Kurt."</p><p>Everyone at the table applauds. Kurt gasps. He doesn't even know what it is yet, but fresh tears escape his eyes and roll down his cheeks. Charlotte hands him the box, and Kurt can't help but glance at Sebastian before opening it. His boyfriend nods almost imperceptibly. He clearly was informed about this.</p><p>"Sebastian helped us pick it out," Charlotte confirms. </p><p>Kurt unties the ribbon and opens the box, revealing a beautiful rose gold wristwatch with a black leather strap. </p><p>"It's a Hamilton," Charlotte says. "They're from Pennsylvania. This is one of 1892 pieces they made in this style."</p><p>"It's so beautiful," Kurt whispers awestruck. His fingers hover over the dial, afraid to touch it. "I...don't know what to say." He looks at Sebastian again for guidance.</p><p>"Just put it on, babe," he suggests, and Kurt blushes. He carefully takes the watch from the box, pulling it off the little pillow it is wrapped around, and opens the buckle. The leather is soft and supple, and as he lays it on his arm, it already feels like it belongs there. He carefully presses it against his chest so it won't slip as he does up the closure with his other hand. Once it's on, he holds out his arm for all to see. </p><p>"I love it," he whispers, his voice heavy with emotion. "Thank you so much."</p><p>"Thank <em>you</em>, Kurt," Charlotte said pointedly. </p><p>Kurt wants to say something else, but then his attention is drawn to a commotion by the bar. Several of the waiting staff are rushing in, and he can hear a deep voice demanding their service. He can't quite make it out - all he hears is a low rumbling, undertoning the cacophony of restaurant conversations like a rolling thunderstorm. </p><p>Someone from the wedding party tries to catch Kurt's attention and he turns to face them, but the sounds of the frantic staff at the bar distract him, and he has the feeling something is about to go wrong. Hypervigilance once again?</p><p>The crowd of staff parts to reveal a stately older gentleman in a well-tailored suit, crossing the floor in measured, precise steps, almost like a dancer. Two waiters accompany him. He has dark hair, combed back from his face, and he looks clean-shaven, impeccably groomed. He's handsome in a distractingly familiar way, and Kurt can't take his eyes off him. He looks straight ahead, not caring that he almost swipes a tablecloth off a table he is passing, and one of the waiters quickly steadies the table while the other supports the man's elbow. </p><p>"Keep your hands off me!" the man says loudly, his voice demanding. "I may be an old man but I am not a dog. I do not need to be <em>walked.</em>"</p><p>The waiter immediately retracts his hand and mumbles an apology. </p><p>The sound of the man's voice has made several guests at the wedding party sit up, and it is clear they recognize him. "Oh god, I knew it," Sebastian groans, and Kurt suddenly realizes who it is. </p><p>"Father," Greg says, a forced smile on his lips. He gets up and quickly rounds the table. "What a surprise."</p><p>"Is it? I thought you invited me," Mr Smythe drawls.</p><p>"Actually," Brian speaks up, but the words freeze on his lips as the man directs his steel blue eyes towards him. Kurt sees Olivia discreetly cover Brian's hand with hers. "We have," he corrects, changing course from whatever he had been about to say. "It's nice to see you, sir."</p><p>"Brian," Mr Smythe says, turning to face him. "I wish I could say the same." He smiles sweetly, and Kurt feels his stomach drop. This is not going to end well, is it? He glances at Julian, who sits, pale faced, glaring at his empty plate.</p><p>"I would join you," the man says, "but it appears there is no more room for me." He gestures at the table.</p><p>Kurt can think of only one thing- <em>diffuse.</em> He looks at Olivia, who gives him a slightly panicky look. They have talked about table settings for tomorrow - not for this dinner. He makes up his mind and rises from his seat. "Please, you're welcome to sit by the bride, sir. I can move down." He picks up his used glass, envelope and watch box, and steps aside a little.</p><p>"And who is <em>this</em>?" Mr Smythe exclaims loudly, turning his head towards him. He is smiling, but he looks more like a snake about to strike. Suddenly Kurt knows where he has seen this look before: in high school, on Santana, on Sue Sylvester- and on Sebastian.</p><p>"I am Sebastian's-" Kurt starts, but Mr Smythe cuts him off. </p><p>"So Sebastian finally found himself a girl, hallelujah!" He throws up his hands in a mocking praise. "About time! We can all turn a <em>blind eye-" </em>He smirks and leaves a little pause, "to a little <em>dallying </em>at an all-boys' school, but once school is out, boys need to step up to the plate and become a<em> man</em>, isn't that right, Julian?"</p><p>Kurt is about to serve a classic retort about not being a girl- he may have a bit of a babyface still (<em>we can't all have a strong jawline like Cooper or a nobel roman profile like Brian,</em> he thinks, <em>but clearly his outfit should have been a pointer to his gender</em>)- when he realizes something. Turn a blind eye?</p><p>It is not his looks that provoked the taunt; it is his <em>voice</em>. A classic, which still often happens to him when he picks up the phone (<em>no, she is dead, this is her son</em>). Mr Smythe is blind.</p><p>The old man is scanning the room, turning his head this way and that, his eyes moving but never settling on someone, and he is waiting for Julian to betray his position with a sound. Before that can happen, Kurt speaks up again. </p><p>"My name is Kurt Hummel, sir, and I am your grandson's <em>boyfriend</em>."</p><p>"Ha!" the man lets out and a few of the guests around the table jump. He gestures for the waiting staff and nods towards Kurt. They spring to action, one waiter hurrying towards the kitchen to get a new set, the other to clear away Kurt's place. A third offers his arm. Mr Smythe sr takes it and lets himself be led around the table. </p><p>As each measured step takes him closer, he seems to grow, and Kurt feels himself shrink. The man carries the weight of decades of power, of being listened to- obeyed- and he expects nothing less at this table tonight.</p><p>"Kurt Hummel," he says, sounding like he is tasting the name on his lips. "Son of congressman Hummel?"</p><p>"I am," Kurt confirms, raising his chin. </p><p>"The worker's man. A plebeian for the public. I know Greg likes him. Voted for him. Probably sponsored part of his campaign."</p><p>Kurt's eyes flit to Greg, who nods and offers him an encouraging little smile.</p><p>"What are you doing here, Kurt Hummel?" the man says, drawing his attention back to him. The question takes Kurt by surprise.</p><p>"Like I said, I am Sebastian's-"</p><p>"Yes, we've established that you are<em> his. </em>But are you doing <em>here</em>, on what the newspapers have already dubbed ‘the biggest social event of the Midwest in the last decade'? It's not a country dance, and you're not in Ohio anymore."</p><p><em>That much is clear,</em> Kurt muses.</p><p>"We invited him, grandfather," Olivia speaks up. "And he's been helping us with the venue."</p><p>"Ah, <em>the help</em>," Mr Smythe says, a small smile curling his lips, and Kurt almost physically recoils- because when he looks like that, it's like watching an aged version of Julian, but a perverted one, with cruel, unseeing eyes. </p><p>Kurt is saved a retort by the waiting staff, who quickly decks out the table next to Olivia. She looks up at Kurt with wide, guilty eyes. </p><p>Kurt subtly shakes his head- this is neither the first nor the worst humiliation he has suffered; this is only one man, not a gym hall full of sniggering students, and he lifts his head as if he is still wearing his prom queen crown. Whatever this guy wants to say, he can<em> bring it. </em>As long as he is busy insulting Kurt, he is laying off Julian and Sebastian.</p><p>"Your place is ready, sir," the waiter says to Mr Smythe, and together with Kurt, they help the man sit down. He breathes in deeply, turning his nose towards Kurt's shirt, and Kurt holds his breath. He put on cologne in the morning, but it's been a long day. He thinks of Brian's words from earlier that morning. Is the man trying to <em>smell fear</em>?</p><p>As soon as his legs touch the chair, Mr Smythe stands up again. "Actually, I am not sitting down yet," he announces. "You can take a seat, Congressman boy. I assume they made a place for you somewhere."</p><p>Kurt looks towards Sebastian and sees they have made room for him to sit between him and Julian. Sebastian's fists lie balled on the table, his knuckles white. Julian looks ready to start a fight, but Kurt shakes his head at them, begging them both to stay in their seats.</p><p>"I love sitting between my two favorite boys anyway," he whispers to them when he sits down. "Some people would pay good money for that, you know?"</p><p>His words bring a small smile on Julian's lips and he considers it a little victory. He puts a hand on Sebastian's fist. After a moment, it unclenches and he turns his palm up for Kurt to grasp.</p><p>Mr Smythe feels in front of him for a glass. His place setting has several of them, for different kind of beverages. He briefly checks the diameter of the rims with his fingers, unfailably picking the champagne glass from the array of sparkling crystal, and he picks it up and holds it out to the side. </p><p>When nothing happens for a moment, he adds: "I wish to make a toast to the couple. Is anyone going to fill my glass or are you going to leave me here looking stupid?" </p><p>The waiting staff spring to action, and take the champagne bottle from the cooler on the table, quickly filling his glass. They also fill Kurt's new glass, and top off the others'. </p><p>"Much obliged," Mr Smythe says, in a way that does not sound obliged at all. He straightens his back and raises the glass.</p><p>Looking awkwardly flustered and embarrassed, several people at the table pick up their glass too. </p><p>"Greg," he starts, "tell me who I am working with. I need to know my audience."</p><p>Greg, his chest falling with a resigned sigh, nods to the others and his eyes go around the table. He rises to his feet. "On this side of you is Charlotte, and Mr and Mrs Wilton."</p><p>"August, Samantha," Mr Smythe says, nodding in that direction, and Kurt can see the hard line set in Charlotte's lips for not being greeted. "Oh, Samantha, I wish I could see your lovely face, you always were a feast to behold."</p><p>Samantha looks as grim as Charlotte, but it doesn't seem to bother Mr Smythe that there's no reply. "Who else?" he demands. "The silence sounds like a crowd."</p><p>"Um, there's Amelia and Marina Van Den Laer, and Anette Maddox, Olivia's bridesmaids, and Carter Fairfield, one of Brian's groomsmen, and his wife Joy Fairfield-Ainsley," Greg continues, offering them small nods. They are all staring at Mr Smythe sr with awe.</p><p>"Ah, the Van Den Laer sisters and Lady Maddox, how nice. Splitting images of your beautiful mothers, I am sure. And Fairfield junior. How's your father, son?"</p><p>"Uh...fine, thank you, sir," Carter stammers. </p><p>"Are you in the business?"</p><p>Carter swallows. "I am, sir. I passed the bar exam last month and I'm joining the firm as an associate on September first."</p><p>"Good boy," Mr Smythe praises him, and mock-surreptitiously glances to his other side, where he probably assumes Julian sits.</p><p>"And to your left, Olivia and Brian, and my sons, with their partners Kurt Hummel and Cooper Anderson," Greg finishes. </p><p>"Anderson! Ha!" Mr Smythe lets out with a raw chuckle. "I wonder what his parents think of <em>that</em>."</p><p>At this, Julian starts, but this time, it is Cooper who stops him with a hand on his arm. </p><p>"Alright, all players are at the table. Now to the dream couple," Mr Smythe continues. "I can't say I was surprised when I received your invitation. Of course it had to be read to me- braille would have been a nice courtesy- but once I was informed, I knew I had to come."</p><p><em>Oh yeah? Then why didn't you RSVP, you dick,</em> Kurt thinks bitterly, thinking of all the time they could have spent on the rest of the wedding and had to invest in re-doing the table settings instead. His eyes meet Olivia's, and she quirks one eyebrow at him, clearly thinking the same thing.</p><p>"I wouldn't miss my granddaughter's wedding for the world. I have known the Wiltons for a long time. I was friends with your father once, August. I am sure he would have approved of Olivia too."</p><p>August nods grimly. Kurt hopes that being reminded of his father's passing like this isn't too painful for him. </p><p>"We were just saying how glad we are that our families will soon be joined," Brian's father offers.</p><p>"As for Brian, he reminds me very much of my own son," Mr Smythe continues, ignoring Brian's father. "A young man eager to change the world, a lawyer with integrity-"</p><p>It <em>sounds </em>positive, but Kurt finds himself bracing for the punch, a feeling he remembers all too well from his early days with Sebastian.</p><p>"He's so much like Greg, it almost makes you wonder if little Livvie has <em>daddy issues.</em>" Mr Smythe chuckles at his own joke. No one at the table laughs. It is just uncomfortable now and Kurt hopes he will get the point soon so they can order before he insults everyone at the table. </p><p>"But at least he did something right," the man continues, "and for that I commend the Wiltons: Brian was raised to put his family first, and his passions second. Like Mr Fairfield here, he will follow in his father's footsteps and not scorn what generations before him have built, and he will marry the woman his parents approve of." He raises his glass. "To the Wilton family, may Olivia be a worthy addition to their clan."</p><p>The people at the table awkwardly mumble the words to the one-sided toast, though Samantha and August nod earnestly to Brian and Olivia as they raise their glass again. They all seem to have come to the quiet understanding to leave this man his archaic ideas and not engage in a word battle with him. </p><p>Kurt looks at Julian. He looks very tense, and keeps seeking reassurance with Cooper. Of course the main jab had been at him- and his father- for not continuing the family business. </p><p>Kurt feels awful. He wishes there was something he could do, but the entire situation is so foreign to him; empires, legacies, dowries, arranged marriages and succession- it's like something out of a fairy tale. His father would never blame him for not wanting to take over the auto shop; he had asked, just in case, but was more than happy to let Kurt fulfill his dreams of becoming a professional performer. </p><p><em>Money changes everything</em>, he muses, and once again he is happy he didn't let them pay for NYADA. </p><p>The waiting staff return to take their orders, and Kurt realizes that he doesn't remember any of the options he had looked at earlier because he has been daydreaming about NYADA instead. He flips the leather folder back open and stares blankly at the page.</p><p>Sebastian nudges him gently and he looks up at him. "Were you um, planning on ordering from the kids menu?" he asks with a smirk and Kurt blinks, looking at his menu properly. He's been staring at a page with smiley-faced pizzas and ice-cream sundaes that wear their cone on top like a clown's hat.</p><p>"Well you know," Kurt says, recovering his wits quickly and closing the menu, "Kids' meals may not have tomatoes but they come with a <em>toy."</em></p><p>Sebastian's grin widens. Kurt hands the menu to his boyfriend and says, "I'll have what you're having." It's the right thing to say, because Sebastian's grin turns to a warm smile and when the waiter gets to them he orders confidently with a pleased, determined expression.</p><p>
  <em>Who would have thought that all this time, Mr. Glitterparty had just been waiting for someone to order for at a restaurant. And people say romance is dead…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>As the waiter moves around, Kurt observes Olivia as she reads the menu to her grandfather, who keeps correcting her pronunciation of the french dishes. He can see Brian comfortingly rub her back whilst he speaks to Carter. Her pronunciation, as far as Kurt can tell, is flawless, thanks to her time in France, but it clearly gives the old man pleasure to bully her. She bears it with grace - more than Sebastian, who now, that he's noticed too, looks close to throwing his drink in the man's face.</p><p>Kurt takes out his phone from his pocket and types something under the table. Sebastian's phone discreetly buzzes and he glances at Kurt before taking it out.</p><p>
  <strong>KURT: Don't engage. He'll get bored of his games soon.</strong>
</p><p>He sees Sebastian type something and pretends to listen to a conversation at the table until it arrives.</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: You're giving me advice??! I thought we were gonna sext to keep up morale.</strong>
</p><p>Kurt wrinkles his nose and gives him a look of indignation. Sebastian snorts. Kurt shakes his head, his fingers flying over the buttons on his screen. </p><p>
  <strong>KURT: Are you CRAZY? At the table? There is no way I would ever do that.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: :(</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>KURT: Please save it for later.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: Save what? Tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.</strong>
</p><p><strong>KURT: You can't trick me into sexting you. I am putting my phone away now. </strong>He raises his eyebrow at Sebastian and slides his phone into his pocket.</p><p>Sebastian smirks and continues typing, occasionally glancing at Kurt from the side like he is considering something. He frowns, licks his lips. He lets out a soft sigh and shifts in his seat. </p><p><em>Oh my god, what is he writing?</em> Kurt thinks,<em> and will he be able not to look at it?</em></p><p>His phone buzzes in his pocket. Kurt tries to ignore it, but Mr Smythe is now mansplaining the New York subway system to Olivia- who literally lives there- and he needs a break. </p><p>"Excuse me, please," he says, and pushes his chair back to go to the men's room. Sebastian smirks at him, and Kurt can feel his eyes on his back all the way down to the bar. </p><p>He manages to wait until he reaches a stall, and he closes the door behind him. Taking a deep breath, he takes out his phone and scoffs as he sees what Sebastian has sent him.</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: Made you look.</strong>
</p><p>Kurt purses his lips and types rapidly, almost as fast as his pounding heart.</p><p>
  <strong>KURT: You are SUCH a child!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: Hey, I noticed you're not at the table anymore, wanna sext?</strong>
</p><p>Kurt shakes his head and lets out an exasperated sigh. He can't stay away too long, and he's not even sure what he should write; typing words used in porn make him feel embarrassed - but maybe there's another way to get back at Sebastian without writing anything at all. </p><p>He stops to listen if anyone is in the men's room - even though the stall is locked, he feels like what he is about to do is so illicit someone might throw him out if they knew (and while doing something nsfw at a public place is kind of on his bucket list, getting thrown out of a fancy hotel restaurant at a wedding rehearsal dinner isn't). </p><p>When he hears nothing, he unbuttons his shirt all the way down to his waistband, pulls it apart a little to show his chest, and sits back on his heels against the stall, careful not to touch the floor (it may be a fancy restaurant but it's still a men's room). He holds his phone up over his head and looks up at the camera, wetting his lips and letting his jaw hang a little slack - from the angle he is going for, it looks like he is on his knees looking up at Sebastian, his mouth invitingly open. He takes a few snaps until he is satisfied.</p><p><em>If he ever shows anyone, I can kiss my career goodbye,</em> Kurt muses, and for a moment he pauses. Then he presses send, puts his phone away, buttons up again, and goes to wash his hands.</p><p>His phone buzzes a few times on his way back to the table, but he leaves it in his pocket. Sebastian looks thoroughly frustrated when he gets back to the table, and Kurt offers him an angelic smile. "What did I miss?" he whispers, and lightly kisses his cheek as he sits back down.</p><p>"You will pay for this," Sebastian hisses. </p><p>"Oh, I really hope so," Kurt agrees pleasantly, and takes a sip of his drink. For the next few minutes, he really enjoys watching Sebastian try and sneak looks at his picture without being caught- and without Julian seeing. </p><p>"Is Seb ok?" Julian asks at some point, when Sebastian can't stop his fidgeting. </p><p>"He just learned to be careful what he wishes for," Kurt replies smugly. </p><p>Julian grins, his eyes sparkling, and he runs his tongue over his teeth. If he suspects, he doesn't get the chance to tell him, because right at this moment, everything goes to shit.</p><p>"Sebastian! Where are you, boy?" Mr Smythe calls out, casting unseeing eyes around the table. The sparkle vanishes from Julian's eyes in an instant, and is replaced by something <em>dark</em>- darker than Kurt ever thought possible. To his right, he feels Sebastian tense and turns his attention to him instead. Julian has Cooper for support and Sebastian needs him more. </p><p>"Sebastian!" the old man barks again and Kurt jumps.</p><p>Sebastian pushes his phone deep into his pocket and clears his throat. "I am here, sir."</p><p>"What college did you say you were going to?" Mr Smythe asks. "Your father wouldn't say."</p><p>Sebastian frowns and looks at his mother. "Um, I haven't exactly- I sent out a few applications, but-" he mumbles, swallowing his words. Kurt has never heard him sound so insecure.</p><p>"Look at me when you're talking to me, boy, and speak up!" Mr Smythe demands harshly.</p><p>"<em>I said</em> I applied to a few different places," Sebastian starts again, a little louder. </p><p>Kurt isn't sure why he is so reluctant; is it just the fact that his grandfather is addressing him directly, or is he afraid that the old man won't approve of his choice of schools? At the beach house, Kurt had wondered where Sebastian would end up going - he now realizes that he never really wondered <em>what </em>he would be doing. For some reason, he has always assumed Sebastian would go to law school like his father and Brian, most likely at the same school Greg attended. </p><p>"And you still haven't decided? It's only a few more weeks!" Mr Smythe lets out, tapping the gold watch on his wrist. "Are you counting on mommy and daddy buying you in somewhere?"</p><p>"No! That's not-" Sebastian interjects.</p><p>"Because there's only so many strings they can pull. The name Smythe opens many doors, but leaving it for the last minute-" his grandfather continues mercilessly. </p><p>Sebastian looks more and more agitated, and as Kurt casts glances between Greg and Charlotte, so do they. He wonders if they have been pushing Sebastian to make up his mind as well, or if they already know but have been trying to avoid telling Mr Smythe.</p><p>A scary thought enters Kurt's head: what if Sebastian doesn't want to go to college at all, but is planning to leave on some kind of trip around Europe like Julian did, or means to go and stay with his family in France? It's not like he <em>needs</em> a college education...he doesn't even need a job. He's made for life. </p><p>That would almost certainly bring on Mr Smythe's wrath - <em>both</em> of his grandsons becoming ‘layabouts'.</p><p>But as Kurt considers this, he can't quite believe it. Sebastian loves reading, and learning, and looking up pointless facts. He is <em>also</em> confident in the fact that if his boyfriend was planning something like leaving for another continent, he would have told him. A few weeks ago Kurt might not have been so sure, but Kurt searches inside and finds that he is now. It has to be something else.</p><p>Feeling as lost as Sebastian looks, he notices Greg reach out to place a hand on Sebastian's shoulder and nods affirmatively. It is apparently what Sebastian needed, as in the next instant he raises his chin and stares his grandfather in the eyes. </p><p>"I accepted a place at NYU," he cuts his grandfather off loudly. His voice is sharp, and his tone stops all conversation at the table. Kurt can <em>hear</em> the breath that Sebastian sucks in as he steels himself to continue. "A place at Stern actually, if you must know." </p><p>He swallows hard and looks at his father, giving him a small, tense smile. Kurt gasps. Sebastian is going to join the Smythe business after all? </p><p>He casts glances between the other Smythes. Julian and Olivia look ready for a fight. Greg looks resigned and Charlotte looks like she wants to wrap them all in bubble wrap. It suddenly dawns on Kurt why. </p><p>Mr Smythe has been looking for his successor for <em>years</em>; first it was Greg, then Julian, and finally Sebastian. Kurt knows that Greg and Charlotte are nothing like the old man. They have always let their children express themselves; given them free rein to make their own decisions and life paths, lending a listening ear or a helping hand when asked. This is <em>not</em> something they would have forced on Sebastian. He came to this decision on his own.</p><p>But, it is <em>exactly</em> what Mr Smythe wants. In his eyes, he has won and can ‘claim Sebastian as his own'. The hesitance of the Smythes to share the news wasn't because Sebastian was undecided. It was to protect him.</p><p>"A fine school," Mr Smythe mumbles, visibly taken aback. "A good choice."</p><p>"I didn't choose it to earn <em>your </em>approval," Sebastian snaps. "I'm doing this for my dad. I want to work with him and learn so that one day I can take over and let him go back to doing what he <em>actually</em> wants to do. He is an amazing lawyer, and one day he will actually get to show everyone." </p><p>Kurt notices tears glittering in Greg's eyes and feels a wave of remorse for him. It must be difficult, Kurt thinks, to watch your children stand up for you against your own father. He turns his attention to his boyfriend, his mouth half open to speak, but his words get caught in his throat. </p><p>Sebastian is looking at him with an expression that is so open and vulnerable that Kurt kind of wants to wrap him in bubble wrap himself. Then another emotion flickers across his boyfriend's face; something that looks an awful lot like anxiety. He looks like he wants to say more, but before he can, Mr Smythe raises his glass again. </p><p>"A toast to my youngest grandson! He may be a queer but at least he's got his life priorities sorted!"</p><p>"Excuse me?" Brian's mother lets out.</p><p>"No, I don't think I will, Samantha," the man retorts, and continues as if she hasn't spoken up. "I say what I want to say. I have known a few queers in my lifetime and once they got their behaviour under control, you could work with them nicely. You just couldn't take them to dinner with the wives…" He chuckles.</p><p>A ripple of indignation goes through the guests at the table, and suddenly it looks like several of them are ready to smash the glass out of the man's hand, and yet, still no one is doing anything. </p><p>With a flash of clarity, Kurt realizes that the only one who has nothing to lose in present company - neither reputation nor business partner and no blood relations- is him, and that is why he has to step up.</p><p>"Sir, I'm afraid your interruption of our celebration has gone far enough," he says, grateful and relieved that his voice manages to sound calm, if a little high-pitched. "And seeing as how you do not appear to be in a very festive mood-"</p><p>"Is that you again, Samantha, or is it that Sebastian's little squeeze?" Mr Smythe lets out, pretending he doesn't know. His face hardens. </p><p>"I ask you again, Kurt Hummel; why <em>are</em> you here? Why are you helping this pitiful troupe hold a wedding to celebrate the upcoming spawning of more spineless Wilton brats? Wasn't the fire warning enough? Wasn't that a sign of God that he does not approve of this particular branch of the family? Why are you letting my grandson corrupt you?" </p><p>He pauses to take a breath and deliver his final blow. "What are you getting out of it? A new car? A condo? A student loan?"</p><p>"That's enough!" Sebastian shouts, pushing his chair back. "You don't get to talk to him like that!"</p><p>"I think you'll find that the one paying for all of this gets a say in everything!"</p><p>Julian slams his hand flat on the table with a loud crash and stands up from his seat. "You know what, old man? We don't need your money!"</p><p>"Ah, there he is. Finally," Mr Smythe drawls, turning to him. "Julian. You sound tense. Should I ask one of the waiters to accompany you to the men's room and help you relax a little?"</p><p>"Why you dirty old-" Julian starts, but Olivia stops him. </p><p>"I want you to leave, grandfather," she says. "You are embarrassing yourself and us."</p><p>"Oh, I'm the embarrassment?" He lets out incredulously. "<em>I</em> am?" He turns towards Greg. </p><p>"Your kids sure have got a nerve. I should have disowned you before you had any. That way I would have been spared the humiliation-" </p><p>"It's not too late," Julian shouts. "Do it! Kick your own family to the curb like a pet you don't want to care for on a holiday. You'd be in fine company - the Andersons and you can set up a clubhouse for bitter, homophobic assholes."</p><p>The whole table goes quiet, and everyone turns to look at Cooper. Kurt can see Julian shake his head and offer his boyfriend a troubled look. <em>I'm sorry,</em> he mouths, but Cooper shakes it off. He rises to his feet as well and takes Julian's hand.</p><p>"It's true," he says. "My parents disowned me. They found out last week that I was coming here as Julian's date, and they asked me if I was serious about him." He pauses and looks at Julian. "I said I was."</p><p>Kurt swallows hard. Mr Smythe is straining to hear Cooper's words. </p><p>"So for the second time in my life, they gave me a choice between the Anderson name and Julian - And this time I definitely wasn't going to pick the wrong side again." </p><p>For a moment, Julian just stares at him. Then his lips curl into a smirk. </p><p>"It's a shame you can't see this, you miserable, blind motherfucker," he says in the direction of his grandfather without taking his eyes off Cooper, "because I am giving you the finger-" he puts up his middle finger and holds it out, "and kissing my lover in the middle of this restaurant." And without further ado, he takes hold of Cooper's face and kisses him.</p><p>Brian nods grimly and starts applauding. Carter joins in, and so do their other friends. When Julian pulls back from Cooper, Olivia motions for them to quiet down.</p><p>"Grandfather, you are no longer welcome at our wedding," she states. "If you want to keep face, I will offer the other guests your apologies for being indisposed due to your old age and assure them that your generous gift of <em>one million dollars</em> will go towards one of the LGBTQ+ charities of our choice. We shall not bother you with any future celebrations-" </p><p>Her eyes darken, and Kurt gets a chill over his whole body. </p><p>"Seeing as you'll likely not be around to ruin them for much longer anyway."</p><p>She looks at Julian and gives him a short nod. Then she motions at the waiting staff, who quickly realize who is paying their wages and they come to accompany Mr Smythe off the premises. Their hands act before given permission now, pulling him out of his seat. </p><p>"You wouldn't dare!" he growls at her in passing. "That money-"</p><p>Olivia crosses her arms over her chest. "Try me. I am more than happy to spread the word that you bounced your cheque."</p><p>Finally, Kurt sees just how scary Olivia can be; about one million dollars' worth.</p><p>They watch the man retreat, hissing and spitting, his previous poise and dignity gone, and as he leaves, Kurt can see Greg hide his face in his hands, finally giving into his emotions. Charlotte has gotten out of her seat and walked around to wrap her arms around him and is whispering quietly in his ear. </p><p>Kurt feels awful- it is clear that the unexpected crashing of his daughter's party by the man who once tried to control his life and then sought to break his children has overwhelmed Greg. He can't imagine what must be going through his mind right now. Sebastian's announcement that he's chosen his major <em>specifically </em>for his dad, so that he can return to his passion of defending people who deserve it, has to make him feel conflicted. Add to that the fact that in the space of five minutes, all three of his children have stood up to his father on his behalf, well, it's no wonder he's cracked. </p><p>Kurt looks between them all and feels a surge of pride. They really are a family; a solid unit, consistent in their love and support for one another, not one person is more important than the other and they're all ready to step up and pick up the slack if one of them falters. And he loves them for it.</p><p>His thoughts are interrupted by a hand on his arm. He turns back to look at Sebastian. He is looking pale and shaken. "About college…" he starts, biting his lip. "It's not what you think. I don't want to ‘follow in his footsteps'."</p><p>"I didn't-" Kurt starts, but then stops, because he can see Sebastian needs to explain.</p><p>"I'm not like <em>him.</em> I don't want to tear businesses down. There are better ways to invest than just selling a broken company to the highest bidder, and my dad has the right plans. We can <em>help</em> them while pissing off my granddad at the same time. He may think he has won now, but-" He trails off. </p><p>"I didn't tell you about it yesterday because I was afraid you might think I was taking the easy way out. Like...I wasn't going to work for it. I mean, my seat on the board is guaranteed, but I want to study for it first and make sure I'm ready. I want to use my position to help people. To help my dad."</p><p>Kurt lets out a long breath as he takes all of the information in. It's been a night of revelations and they've not even eaten yet...it's a lot to process.</p><p>Sebastian squeezes his hand. "Please don't run," he whispers, it's so quiet that Kurt barely hears him. "I won't turn into him, I swear."</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere," Kurt promises, looking directly into his eyes to make sure his words are understood. "I think it's an amazing idea, it actually makes me feel a little proud." He offers him a smile. "And we're both going to be in New York!"</p><p>Sebastian lets out a relieved sigh and returns his smile. He looks a little excited now, as if the whole situation had bothered him so much that this is the first time he is realizing this. </p><p>"Yes! I don't know if I'll stay in the dorms or-" Then he breaks off and looks to his other side. </p><p>Olivia and Brian have walked over to Cooper and Julian. Olivia pulls up a chair next to him. "Coop, are you okay?" she asks. "I'm so sorry we caused you trouble…"</p><p>Cooper shakes his head. "You didn't," he assures them both. "I made up my mind before your invitation, and they were going to find out at some point anyway. I kind of expected it."</p><p>"That doesn't make it right," Olivia replies. "Parents are supposed to stand by their children, not abandon them."</p><p>Cooper shrugs. "I'm not seventeen anymore, Liv. I can take care of myself."</p><p>"And I can take care of you, too," Julian adds, and there isn't a trace of his usual playful tone. </p><p>"Does Blaine know?" Kurt asks.</p><p>Cooper shakes his head. "His last week of camp was performance week. Their finale is tonight, I didn't want anything to distract him from it." He lets out a deep sigh. "I'm gonna miss him so much."</p><p>Kurt frowns. "You can still see him, right?"</p><p>Cooper shrugs. "They are gonna make him pick a side, and to be honest, Kurt...I am not sure he'll pick me."</p><p>"They can't do that!" Olivia lets out, but her expression already shows that she knows they can, and they will. </p><p>"We'll figure it out," Julian promises his boyfriend.</p><p>Kurt feels awful. Despite his heartbreak over Blaine, neither Blaine or Cooper deserve to lose a brother like this. If Blaine wants to go to college, he'll need his parents' support- he isn't exactly the type of boy who would do well with three side-jobs and five roommates. He literally can't <em>afford </em>to pick Cooper's side. Why does it have to be so hard?</p><p>He looks at the rest of the table. Their guests are visibly subdued, talking among themselves. The waiting staff sort of lingers by the bar, shooting looks their way. Kurt assumes their food is ready, but they aren't sure if they still want it served or not. He switches on wedding planner mode and straightens his back. He picks up a butter knife and taps his glass. </p><p>"I think we have a dinner to finish," he suggests. "Let's talk about this some more tomorrow night, after we get these two married. That's why we are all here, after all."</p><p>"Wait, Cooper <em>isn't </em>here for our 24 hour booty call?" Julian jokes, and Kurt smirks, quietly welcoming him back. </p><p>The rest of their evening goes as planned, and it doesn't take them long to regain their festive mood. <em>Perhaps</em>, Kurt thought, <em>a wedding rehearsal is like a dress rehearsal for the theatre- People always say that if it goes badly, it's a good omen for the real thing. You get a trial run for the things that can go wrong, so you're prepared on the day. </em></p><p>It won't be until the same time 24 hours later that Kurt realizes how utterly unprepared he had been for what was about to happen.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DEDICATIONS: Pringles Hot &amp; Spicy, Rib 'n Saucy Nick-Nacks, Courvoisier, Perla Coffee Extra Dark Roast, Haribo, Jelly Beans, Noise Cancelling Headphones, Fidget Jewelry, Asprin: thank you for existing. Couldn’t have done this without you.</p><p>MUSIC - for your enjoyment of the wedding, we advise putting these tracks on while you read the corresponding parts:<br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neKt8SdunNU">[Entry of the Bride]</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RbcR_KSRB8">[Opening Dance]</a><br/>(right+click to open in a new tab and play while you read :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt stops his alarm before it can go off and wake Sebastian. He has been awake for a while now, much too nervous to be able to go back to sleep once he realized today is The Day, but also unwilling to leave the warm cocoon of his luxurious hotel bed and Sebastian's body fused to his. His boyfriend is sleeping on his side, his back pressed against Kurt's chest, and Kurt feels every deep, peaceful breath expanding his ribcage under Kurt's protective arm. One hand lies, palm up, on the pillow where it has fallen from Kurt's grip during the night.</p><p>Kurt knows that as soon as he so much as touches it, Sebastian's fingers will close around his like a venus fly trap and pull him further into their embrace- a subconscious reaction that he knows would horrify last year's Sebastian (<em>Please, like I want my hands to smell like baby oil and talcum powder, thanks very much</em>), and likewise, last year's Kurt (<em>Don't worry, after where your hands have been I don't want them anywhere near mine</em>).</p><p>But Kurt and Sebastian, as they are now? They are no longer afraid; they have accepted that their bodies know better than what their stubborn minds have been trying to keep from them for months; they have accepted that even in the subconscious realm of deep sleep, they gravitate towards each other. It is how it is, and it feels right.</p><p>But as right as it feels to just lie there and<em> be</em>, with the stopping of his alarm clock Kurt's time has officially run out. If he closes his eyes now, he is as lost as Dorothy in the Poppy Fields, and there are no field mice here to pull him out in time for the wedding. Kurt shakes his head at himself for coming up with <em>that</em> mental image (but not before wondering which of the iconic characters Sebastian might be- the lion? The scarecrow? Most definitely the scarecrow. <em>Whatever they are, they are both friends of Dorothy</em>, Kurt thinks with a smirk), and carefully lifts his arm from Sebastian's torso.</p><p>Temptation- Sebastian breathes in deeply and rolls over, nuzzling his face towards him on the pillow, his eyes still closed. Kurt smiles and leans forward to kiss his forehead.</p><p>"I'm going to hop under the shower," he whispers against Sebastian's skin. "I set your alarm for forty-five minutes from now." That- plus Sebastian's tendency to hit the snooze button at least twice- gives him a little over an hour to get dressed.</p><p>He agreed to meet Olivia and her mom first thing in the morning to run their final schedules through before going down to the venue. Well, first thing in the morning for <em>him</em>- Olivia should already be up having her hair and make-up done, and hopefully enjoying a light breakfast with Charlotte while the two of them are being pampered. He and Charlotte had agreed to share one task between them, and that was to make sure Olivia <em>ate</em> something today. With all the stress and the nerves, the dress to be protected from spills, the press, the pictures and everyone wanting a piece of the bride and groom, she would most likely need to be reminded to hydrate and keep her blood sugar up, or she would join the long and illustrious line of brides fainting during the day.</p><p>"Mmm, stay," Sebasian mumbles groggily, blindly reaching out for him, but Kurt anticipates his sluggish movement and slips away from his grip.</p><p>"Can't, need to primp," Kurt reminds him, and with a spring in his step, hurries to the shower. On his way there, he glances at the two tuxedos hanging in their covers on the door of the wardrobe, and feels butterflies rise up in his stomach. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined owning such a beautiful suit- and have it fit so well without spending hours working on it himself to get a factory-made replica altered. This is not a replica nor does it come from a factory- it's a Prada pre-order from the fall collection, and it is tailor-made to suit him.</p><p>And best of all, it holds the seal of approval from both Smythe brothers. They have also assured him that it will look good with Sebastian's, which Kurt hasn't seen yet (not counting the small peek he took when he put his own suit up next to his on the wardrobe). When they got his, he asked Sebastian to keep his own suit a secret. Kurt knows it's silly, wanting it to be a surprise (<em>I do know neither of us is the bride, shut up!</em>) but it all just adds to the mystery of the day. He can't wait for the big reveal.</p><p>With a song in his heart and on his lips, he showers and starts grooming, taking his time. It is going to be a long day, and his products need to be well-applied to withstand the outdoors, because it's unlikely he will have time to fix himself up in between acts.</p><p>In his mind, he goes through the list of the things they'll still need to do today. He will oversee the delivery and the placement of the flowers and the arrival of the catering staff for final instructions- Charlotte and Greg offered to help, but Kurt wants them to enjoy their daughter's day and spend some time together in preparation of what will be an emotional highlight for their family, and whatever small tasks he can take out of their hands, he will. It even makes sense as he has been the one in closest contact with the staff the past week, getting everything arranged. Brian, Julian and Carter will greet the officiator and any early guests, and he and Sebastian can take care of any spontaneous behind-the-scenes work that may need doing.</p><p>When he comes out of the shower, feeling invigorated and moisturized, Sebastian has fallen asleep again, an arm slung over Kurt's pillow, his hand curled around his phone. Kurt can see the timer of the snooze alarm ticking away. For a moment, Kurt stands there in his towel just staring at him, before remembering that he's on a clock himself and it's time to get dressed.</p><p>"Sebastian, baby, you really should get up now," he says when he's done, smoothing Sebastian's hair back from his face so he can kiss his forehead. "I'm going to help your sister and you said you'd meet the guys for breakfast."</p><p>"Mmm…" Sebastian mumbles, yawning widely and reaching up to rub his eyes with the heels of his hands before running his fingers through his hair. Finally, he blinks open his eyes and slowly focuses. "Kurt?" he lets out, his eyes going wide.</p><p>"...Bas?" Kurt replies and stands up straight, mentally going through a checklist- why is Sebastian staring like that? Does he have toothpaste on his mouth, or did he overdo it with the dusting of highlighter? (he had only wanted to make the most of his new tan). Maybe he noticed that Kurt had taken a little of his cologne?</p><p>Sebastian swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. His eyes rake over Kurt's form, and Kurt shifts his weight from foot to foot, awaiting his verdict. He could really use a playful ‘you'll do' around now.</p><p>"You look amazing," Sebastian finally brings out. <em>Oh</em>. That's even better.</p><p>Kurt smiles a little. "You helped pick the suit," he reminds him modestly.</p><p>"I know, I have great taste," Sebastian agrees, sitting up. Then, he frowns and cocks his head, giving him another critical once-over. Kurt's heart sinks a little.</p><p>"There's something missing, though," Sebastian mumbles, and Kurt tries hard to keep the corners of his mouth up. He had gone for ‘less is more', feeling the suit was so amazing he didn't need to embellish. What was he missing?</p><p>"Oh?" he asks, a lot lighter than he feels.</p><p>"Yeah. Hold on," Sebastian says. He sits up and throws off the sheets. For a moment, Kurt half-hopes Sebastian plans to give him another hickey. Of course it would be wildly inappropriate and he'd have to cover it with concealer for the wedding pictures, but he won't ever say no to Sebastian's lips on his throat- Only it isn't that, because Sebastian gets up and steps around him.</p><p>Kurt follows him with his eyes as he walks to his overnight bag. He isn't seriously going to make Kurt wear something that's been inside that bag for days, is he? Whatever it is, another tie or a neckerchief or a pocket square, would be impossibly wrinkled by now and there's <em>no way…</em></p><p>Kurt breathes in sharply when Sebastian takes out a small, deep purple velvet box and offers it to Kurt. Memories and expectations suddenly overlap- Kurt remembers another box, another boy, and a promise (broken). A ‘forever' that lasted only nine days. Sebastian <em>wouldn't</em>, he is sure of that- he wouldn't do something like this, it's not like him, he's not into empty gestures-</p><p>"Are you going to open it or what?" Sebastian asks, still holding it out awkwardly, a heavy blush creeping up his neck.</p><p>"Yeah," Kurt lets out, then corrects himself. "<em>Yes</em>. Thank you."</p><p>With slightly trembling hands, he takes the box from Sebastian and opens the lid. For a moment, he just stares. Then he begins to laugh, softly chuckling at first, and then really cracking up. Sebastian smirks, his eyes glittering with mirth.</p><p>"I wouldn't propose in my underwear, babe," he says, still a little flushed, "or on my sister's wedding day. She'd kill me if I stole her thunder like that."</p><p>"She...really...would," Kurt gasps in between laughs. When he finally calms down, he carefully takes his present from the box. It's a pair of golden cufflinks with tiny jingle bells. Kurt shakes them and gasps.</p><p>"They work!"</p><p>"<em>Of course</em> they work," Sebastian comments. "I wasn't going to give you a cheap trinket. I told the goldsmith that if they didn't work, I wouldn't pay for them."</p><p><em>Of course</em>, Kurt muses, his heart overflowing with tenderness for this ridiculous, infuriating boy who not only wants him at his sister's wedding, but wants him <em>with bells on.</em> He wants <em>him</em> the way he is, a little extra, and all Kurt. This small gift has suddenly assured him that he is <em>enough</em>.</p><p>"I love them. Thank you so much," he says, and holds them out together with an outstretched arm. "Will you help me?"</p><p>Sebastian hesitates only for a split second, then sets into action. He takes Kurt's free hand and pushes up his sleeve, careful not to wrinkle the jacket too much. He undoes the cufflink Kurt already had on- a simple, silver plated pair with a pearly enamel finish that almost blends into the shirt- and (being in his underwear), sticks it between his lips for safekeeping.</p><p>Then he takes one of the jingling pieces from Kurt's palm and pushes the bar through the buttonhole, swiveling it to fasten it. "If anyone tries to give you shit for breaking the dress code," he mumbles, the other cufflink still in his mouth, "tell them the bride gave you permission. I asked Liv."</p><p>Kurt is inexplicably moved. Sebastian had anticipated him worrying whether or not whimsical cufflinks would be okay for a high profile wedding."You did?" he asks. Sebastian shrugs and nods at Kurt's other arm. Kurt holds it out.</p><p>"Yeah. I told her I needed something to keep an eye on your whereabouts, make sure you don't run off with a waiter or something." He takes the cufflink from his lips and offers Kurt a smirk. "This way I can hear where you are."</p><p>"Ah," Kurt lets out, grinning. "Fair enough." He shakes his arm a little, making the cufflink jingle. "You know cats eventually learn how to stalk their prey without ringing the bell, don't you?" he asks playfully, stepping closer and into Sebastian's personal space, arching an eyebrow.</p><p>"Maybe the prey-" Sebastian starts, his voice deepening as Kurt keeps advancing, "eventually learns not to mind so much." He finishes in a whisper, Kurt's face now only inches from his own.</p><p>"Sebastian," Kurt whispers back, not yet bridging the gap between them, but wetting his lips.</p><p>"Yes?" Sebastian's eyes track his tongue over his lips hungrily, his pupils widening.</p><p>"I need-" Kurt breathes, and pauses dramatically, hitching his breath.</p><p>Sebastian narrows his eyes, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Kurt knows he is only moments away from destroying Kurt's Prada suit in a storm of passion.</p><p>"-you to get dressed," Kurt finishes calmly, pecks Sebastian's lips with a closed mouth and pulls away.</p><p>Sebastian lets out a huff of breath and groans with frustration. "That's what I get for giving you a gift?" he complains.</p><p>"Hey, you knew I was high maintenance. Come on, get a move on. You get to wrinkle my suit <em>after </em>we have our picture taken."</p><p>"Promise?" Sebastian asks, almost pouting. It looks ridiculous, Kurt tells himself sternly. Certainly not cute. Not at all.</p><p>"I promise," Kurt says solemnly, and blows him a kiss, his cufflinks jingling, before going to meet Olivia.</p><p>*****</p><p>Charlotte gasps as she opens the door to Olivia's suite. "Kurt, you look amazing," she lets out happily.</p><p>"That's what <em>he</em> said," Kurt replies casually, stepping inside. "You look beautiful, Charlotte."</p><p>She is wearing a vintage floral cocktail dress that looks like it came out of Audrey Hepburn's closet, and Kurt can't think of anything more fitting for an outside wedding. He kisses the air next to her cheek as not to mess up her makeup, and steps inside.</p><p>"Is that Kurt?" Olivia calls out from the living room.</p><p>"It is!" Kurt replies. "Can I come in?"</p><p>"Of course, darling, you're not Brian," she calls back. "Do you have fingernails?"</p><p>Kurt blinks and looks down on his hands. "Um...yes?" He walks into the suite and whistles.</p><p>Olivia is in her bridal underwear, a thin gown thrown over; her hair and make up already done. She's sitting at the table and, much to Kurt's approval, is eating some toast. A creamy and delicious looking smoothie stands next to her plate. She looks radiant, a beautiful summer bride, with tiny sprigs of baby's breath pinned in her dark hair.</p><p>"How can I help?" he asks. He holds out his hands to show that not only does he have fingernails, they are clean too.</p><p>With her mouth full, Olivia nods at a large velvet box on the table, similar to the one his cufflinks came in. Kurt's heart rate picks up. Olivia quickly chews and swallows. "I want to wear that today but the closure is nasty and we all already have our nails done." She nods at her mom and the couch, and Kurt suddenly realizes Amelia, Marina and Anette are also there. They already have their bridesmaids dresses on and wave a little shyly.</p><p>"Hey girls," he says, smiling to show them he really bears them no ill will. "You look like you plan to break a few hearts tonight."</p><p>Their pleased smiles speak volumes. Kurt turns his attention back to the box. "May I?" he asks. Olivia nods.</p><p>"Have you eaten anything yet, Kurt?" Charlotte asks, and Kurt shakes his head. "I'll make you something," she says, and before he can protest, starts towards the small breakfast buffet table that is set up in the corner. Kurt feels warm and cared for.</p><p>He takes the box and turns the opening to himself. When he lifts the lid, he pulls his hands away in shock, clasping them over his mouth. "Jesus Christ," he curses, muffled under his fingers. He quickly closes the box again.</p><p>The necklace inside the box looks like it could feature as the main objective in a heist film, or possibly be thrown into the sea by an old lady on a boat. He takes a few deep breaths, steadies himself, and lifts the lid again. The beautiful swirly lace pattern of the necklace calls out to him. It's Belle Epoque, covered in diamonds, and somehow Kurt feels like he has seen it before. "<em>No</em>," he whispers. "No way."</p><p>"What?" Olivia asks through a mouthful of toast with jam.</p><p>"Tell me this is not what I think it is," he mumbles.</p><p>Olivia smiles. "Brian got it for me last year. It's vintage. There was this auction at Christie's in December, it used to belong to-"</p><p>"Elizabeth Taylor," Kurt finishes. "It's one of the Mike Todd pieces."</p><p>"Oh, you've seen it?" Charlotte asks conversationally. She shrugs. "I had never heard of it before, but it's very pretty, isn't it?"</p><p>"I was ready to take out a mortgage on our house to bid on it," Kurt jokes feebly. "I followed the auction online." He hovers his fingers over the sparkling diamonds. "I can't believe I am seeing it in real life."</p><p>Again, memories blur his eyes for a moment when he thinks of all the evenings he spent talking to Blaine about this last christmas; about the collection and the auction, his fantasies about having that much money (always a little indulgently side-eyed by Blaine), and their sweet, soft promises that one day they would buy each other jewelry for anniversaries and birthdays and days in between just because they could.</p><p>Somehow, he doesn't believe Sebastian would ever have the patience to listen to Kurt ramble about his favorite Hollywood actresses of old and their glamorous love affairs - or remember any anniversaries.</p><p>Kurt blinks away a stray tear, and as he rubs at his eye, his cufflink jingles. <em>Oh.</em></p><p>Olivia coos. "Oooh, the cufflinks! They look even better on you than in the box," she says.</p><p>Charlotte comes over to look, a plate of buttered toast and cut green apples in her hand for Kurt, and she smiles. A little overwhelmed, Kurt just shakes his hand a little, making the little bells chime.</p><p>"That's adorable, where did you get those?" she asks.</p><p>"Sebby got them," Olivia says proudly. "He worried they weren't black tie enough, though."</p><p>"Kurt can do what he wants," Charlotte says, handing Kurt the plate. "He saved this wedding."</p><p>"That's what I said," Olivia agrees.</p><p>"I can't tell you how much I love the watch too, though," Kurt adds, feeling a little overwhelmed. He shakes his hand a little, bells jingling again, and the watch slips down so it's visible under the black sleeve of his suit. Both presents together, plus the suit, could probably have paid for tuition at NYADA yet another semester.</p><p>"But you like his gift <em>more</em>," Olivia teases.</p><p>"Which is how it's supposed to be," Charlotte says. "Now eat something, Kurt. I know you told me to watch my daughter but I am watching my sons, too."</p><p>It's too much, and now an actual tear rolls down Kurt's check. He nods and fans himself with one hand, choking out a little laugh. "I can't believe I'm already crying before the bride is even dressed," he chuckles.</p><p>"We won't tell anyone," Olivia says. "My bet is still on Julian or dad."</p><p>"There are bets?" Kurt asks, and he sits down to take a bite of his toast.</p><p>"Oh yeah. About which of the self-proclaimed ‘tough guys' will cry first. Mom says Uncle Arnold."</p><p>Charlotte smiles. "I have inside information," she whispers. "Hayfever. My bet is secure."</p><p>Kurt swallows quickly and clears his throat. "We've got over-the-counter stuff for that! If any of the guests need anything-"</p><p>"We know," Charlotte says fondly. "It's all on your briefing list, with the epipens, the picnic blankets, the umbrellas and the sunscreen."</p><p>"I love the heel savers," Olivia adds. "They are my favourite gadget."</p><p>Kurt blushes. "Too much?" he mumbles. He had tried to go through every possible snafu for outside weddings; hot weather, cold weather, rain, allergies- and ladies showing up in high heels despite their communication to all guests that the wedding would take place on a lawn. The transparent little heel caps can be slipped over any stiletto heel, providing a little platform to stop them from sinking into the grass.</p><p>"It's perfect," Charlotte ensured him. "You did such a good job, Kurt, I know I keep saying it, but…"</p><p>"I'm so nervous," Kurt admitted. "I really want everything to work out. I know there's this ancient rule that says that at least <em>one</em> thing will go wrong at any wedding - <em>always</em>- and I just keep wracking my brain what it can be for this one."</p><p>Olivia grins. "Well, you managed the bachelor party without losing the groom, so that's good. We're set for all kinds of weather, the rings are accounted for, the people I care about most have all RSVPed and most of them have already arrived yesterday...honestly, if something else goes wrong? Fuck it. I will marry Brian today no matter what anyone throws at me."</p><p>Kurt breathes out, repeating her words in his head to reassure himself. "You're right," he agrees, and brushes the crumbs off his hands. "Then let's put your best friends on."</p><p>He puts his plate away and approaches the jewelry box again. "I feel like I should be wearing gloves for this," he whispers reverently, and carefully takes the heavy necklace from its silk pillow.</p><p>Olivia sits up and lowers her robe off her shoulders. Kurt steps behind her and lays the diamond necklace around her neck. It rests on the base of her throat, and the length is just right. As he tries to open the clasp, he can see why the ladies did not want to risk their manicures- it really is a stubborn thing. He presses his fingernail between the ridge and forces it open. It closes around the loop with a firm snap, and Kurt feels pretty sure this is something he won't need to worry about during the day- this thing is so secure it's not going to be falling off any time soon. He steps back to face Olivia and look at the effect.</p><p>"So gorgeous," he whispers.</p><p>"I know," Olivia replies. "And the necklace isn't bad either, huh?"</p><p>Kurt lets out a laugh and shakes his head. It really is impossible to forget that she is Julian and Sebastian's sister.</p><p>Charlotte watches the both of them fondly and clears away their plates. "Okay, Kurt, let's go over the plans once more, and then I am going to kick you out so we can get Liv dressed," she announces. Kurt beams. Soon, Brian will get to see her dress- and Kurt will get to see Sebastian's suit even sooner.</p><p>With butterflies in his stomach, Kurt leaves Oliva and Charlotte's room not long after, letting the photographer in on his way out. He checks his phone. There's a few messages from Sebastian, sent off in quick succession, and one sent a while after that. He hadn't heard his phone while he was with the women, and wonders what this is about.</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: I can't get my bowtie tied. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: Fuck this, no tie.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: Are you mad? I really tried.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: Ok don't be angry I will ask someone.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: I called room service. A nice lady helped me. I gave her a 50 dollar tip.</strong>
</p><p>Kurt snorts. He can just imagine how that went down. Then he scrolls down to Sebastian's last message, and the butterflies gather up into a tornado.</p><p>
  <strong>SEBASTIAN: In the lobby waiting for you.</strong>
</p><p>It takes all of Kurt's willpower not to take the first staircase he sees and run down three steps at the time. Instead, he takes a few calming breaths, and walks to the elevator. This suit and his deodorant need to last all day, after all.</p><p>The way down takes forever. At every floor, more people get in, delaying everything. He smiles politely, trying to keep his hands from fidgeting as not to draw attention to the small bells on his cufflinks. Finally, they reach the ground floor, and the doors open. Kurt is in the back of the elevator cabin, and has to wait for all of the other people to file out. When they finally do, he sees why it took so long: the lobby is filled with people making their way to the breakfast area. Kurt's eyes rove over the crowd. With so many people in the way, how was he ever going to-</p><p>A laugh chimes through the lobby, and Kurt immediately recognizes it. His eyes follow the sound, and he sees his boyfriend from the side, smiling brightly, laughing at something Julian must have said, because his brother is beaming and Cooper stands next to him, grinning and looking from one to the other, chewing gum, and Brian is on the phone. The picture makes Kurt's heart swell. There is no one who can make Sebastian laugh more brightly than Julian; his friend, idol, confidant- nemesis- his big brother. The wounds between them have healed, grudges buried, and what has remained is a bond for life.</p><p>Kurt watches as Sebastian comes down from whatever Julian has said (he suspects it was something incredibly rude, and hopes that none of the other guests have heard it), and as Sebastian's breathing slowly settles, it is like he can feel Kurt's eyes on him. He turns to face him slowly, taking him in, and the smile on his lips grows even bigger, warmer, his eyes taking on that softness that he reserves only for Kurt.</p><p>Kurt can now see the full splendor of his outfit- a gorgeous, impeccable italian-cut tuxedo with peaked silk lapels, patently expensive; a black bowtie (nothing flashy, no patterned or dyed silks, and Kurt immediately forgets all of his former ideas of style- less is definitely <em>more</em>) and a plain white pocket square, stiffly ironed. When he raises his hand to wave Kurt over to him, Kurt can see his cufflinks match his- minus the bells. He quickens his step and crosses the distance between them.</p><p>As the others see him coming, Cooper whistles between his teeth. "You," he says, pointing at Kurt, "look amazing. I always thought it was <em>you</em> dressing Blaine, but maybe it was the other way around? Because look at you now..."</p><p>"I've dressed myself since I was five, Coop," Kurt replies, taking full responsibility for his high school outfits. "But thank you. You look very good as well, very Pierce Brosnan."</p><p>Cooper preens a little.</p><p>"But," Kurt adds, "promise me you'll lose the gum before the ceremony, or your jawline will look weird in the pictures."</p><p>Cooper quickly nods, suddenly looking years younger.</p><p>Next to him, Julian is getting impatient. "What about me?" he asks, striking a pose.</p><p>Kurt smirks. Of course Julian looks incredible. His suit is a refined, slim-fitting charcoal with a matching vest and a black tie and he's wearing shining dress shoes- everything is impeccable, but Kurt cannot deny that he prefers Julian in his jeans and leather jacket, with those incredible boots he wore the night he unexpectedly crashed at his place. Maybe it's just knowing that Julian is only wearing this for his sister's sake that makes it a little unusual to see him like this- but the pause has lasted long enough and he really needs to say something now or he will never hear the end of it.</p><p>"Julian, you know if it wasn't for Sebastian, I'd elope with you right now," Kurt says honestly.</p><p>Julian purses his lips and nods approvingly. "That's all I wanted to hear, sweetheart."</p><p>Finally, Kurt can turn to Sebastian. A younger copy of his brother, he also waits for Kurt's verdict. Kurt is sorely tempted to tell him ‘he'll do', but it would be too big an understatement.</p><p>"Ask me how attracted I am to you on a scale of one to ten right now," he whispers so that only Sebastian can hear.</p><p>"Okay," Sebastian asks, the corners of his lips curling up. "How much?"</p><p>"I lost count," Kurt says, and presses his lips against Sebastian's, kissing him over and over, right on top of his smile and the small birthmarks on his cheeks, breathing in the sharp, warm spice of his cologne.</p><p>"Excuse <em>me</em>," an elderly man says as he passes, and without stopping, Kurt flips him off. He knows he shouldn't- with so many wedding guests staying at their hotel, it might be one of Greg's associates or a relative of Brian's, but all he can think of is: not now.<em> Not today. Today I do what I want.</em></p><p>Eventually, they need to part; before wandering hands can get lost and wrinkle shirts or disarrange ties- and when they do, Kurt notices Brian has ended his phone call and is looking at him with amusement in his eyes.</p><p>Kurt takes the time to fully take him in. The first thing that Kurt notices is that Brian has clearly picked his suit with Olivia in mind. He's wearing tailored black pinstriped trousers; a silver, intricately embroidered waistcoat, complete with a pocket watch; a crisp white shirt with a black cravat; and a black coat and tails. He has a black top hat on his head and is carrying a cane. He looks like he's just stepped out of an old Hollywood movie, and every bit the dashing groom.</p><p>Before he can say anything, Brian speaks. "Did you see her? How is she?"</p><p>Kurt lets out a chuckle. At least Brian had waited until they'd finished kissing before asking about his bride.</p><p>"She slept well, she's in good spirits, and we made sure she ate something," Kurt reports dutifully, then sighs. "Oh, Brian, she's so beautiful. I can't wait for you to see her. And for her to see <em>you</em>...because; <em>damn,</em> Mr Wilton."</p><p>Brian smiles a little bashfully, red splotches appearing high on his cheeks.</p><p>"Of course," Kurt continues playfully, "I didn't see her dress yet, only her bridal underwear…" He winks at Brian, who promptly turns even redder. "Perks of the wedding planner...totally gay-zoned."</p><p>"The car is here," Julian announces, and Kurt takes Sebastian's hand. It is time to get to the venue and make sure everything is ready for the bride's arrival.</p><p>*****</p><p>As they pull up to the venue, Kurt notices a few press vans gathered outside and a crowd of reporters milling around waiting. He feels nerves flutter inside him at the sight. He knew that they'd be here today - at least outfront. Within the world of the social elite, the union of the Wilton and Smythe families is the event of the decade. They're not <em>Kardasian</em> famous by any means, but they are rich enough for people to be interested in their lives. However, hearing about it, and <em>seeing it</em>, are very different things.</p><p>The second they see the car, the group moves to the edge of the road to snap pictures. Kurt is pleased to see they at least keep their distance and don't swarm the car. Brian's parents have just arrived as well, and move to greet them.</p><p>"Okay, are you guys ready?" Julian asks. "It's showtime." He quickly kisses Cooper's cheek and then opens the door to their limo, stepping out into the sunlight. He holds out his hand for Cooper, and Kurt knows everything they do from this moment to the moment they go through the gate will be recorded. This is not Julian being chivalrous- this is him introducing his partner to the press. <em>Fuck the Andersons</em>, Kurt thinks vengefully.</p><p>He exchanges a look with Sebastian and can see he is looking a little nervous. "You don't have to-" he starts to offer, but Sebastian shakes his head.</p><p>"I definitely have to," he says firmly. He steps out, and holds out his hand for Kurt. With butterflies swirling up a tornado in his stomach, Kurt takes his hand and gets out, feeling like he is arriving at the Oscars.</p><p>Kurt tries to ignore the sound of cameras clicking and smiles at Sebastian. They join Julian and Cooper and wait for Brian to come out. He immediately draws the attention of the press, and Kurt feels his face relax a little.</p><p>He watches as the Wilton's greet their son, and feels emotion well up inside of him as Samantha approaches Brian. He tries not to think of his own mother. <em>She's watching,</em> he reminds himself, and grips Sebastian's hand a little tighter.</p><p>"Oh, <em>Brian,"</em> Samantha coos, her voice thick with emotion. "You look so handsome, my little boy."</p><p>Kurt notices the back of Brian's neck tinge pink as his mother cups his cheek.</p><p>"Thanks mom," he says quietly.</p><p>Kurt feels a hand on his back and turns to Sebastian.</p><p>"I know I said it before, but I was half asleep so I want to tell you again. You look incredible."</p><p>Kurt beams at him and presses a kiss to his cheek. "So do you."</p><p>He hears cameras click.</p><p>They share a smile before Kurt snaps into action. He orders Brian, Julian and August into the cottage to relax until the officiant arrives and puts the others to work, mentally checking off his list of things still left to do as he goes.</p><p>Thankfully, everything runs like clockwork and everyone pulls their weight until the venue is spotless. It looks like something out of a magazine and he takes a moment to take it all in. <em>If NYADA doesn't work out,</em> he thinks. <em>I may have a career in event planning.</em></p><p>The photographer that is following Brian snaps a picture of Kurt and he turns to smile at the lady. She takes the bait and snaps again. Kurt really likes the idea of having two photographers on hand for the day. There's another lady following Olivia through the morning and then <em>both</em> of them will sweep through the party as the day goes on, so hopefully no moments are missed.</p><p>He hears the distant crunch of tires on gravel and sucks in a deep breath, taking a final moment to sweep the area. <em>Showtime.</em></p><p>*****</p><p>"Hey kid," Burt says in greeting as Kurt meets them at the gate. "Looking pretty snazzy."</p><p>Kurt grins and greets his dad with a hug, though, not a tight one - it's still early and he really doesn't want to wrinkle his suit. "You don't look bad yourself," he replies.</p><p>He pulls away from his dad to air kiss Carole and compliments her on her dress. She is looking very pretty in a forest green midi length dress, her hair blow-dried out into a cute style.</p><p>"Dude!" Finn says as he takes in Kurt's suit. "You look like Sean Connery." Kurt grins at him, pleased that he's got classic Bond while Cooper represents next gen, and winks at Rachel. She is gaping at him with little stars in her eyes. She too is looking radiant in a pale, blue lace dress; her dark hair curled loosely over her shoulder. They may not belong to a Forbes 500 empire, but they all look like a million bucks.</p><p>He shows his family into the garden, soaking in their praise as he points out the finer details he helped define. He guides them to sit on the left hand side of the aisle, about half way back. The front rows are reserved for Olivia's family, but she had insisted that they be seated as close as possible. (<em>"They're family too, Kurt.")</em></p><p>He blows them all air kisses, promising to catch up with them later, before zipping back towards the entrance. He doesn't get far, however, as he spots Sebastian standing by the bar, chatting animatedly to a handsomely dressed elderly couple. As Kurt gets closer, he realizes they are speaking French; they must be Sebastian's grandparents, Charlotte's family.</p><p>Hearing Sebastian speak does all sorts of things to his insides, because <em>French?</em> (Well, it's the language of love, isn't it?) He slows down a little just so he can listen, but then Sebastian feels his eyes on him again and turns to face him.</p><p>"Kurt! Come say hello!" Sebastian says happily, switching to English. Kurt smiles and quickens his step. "These are my grandparents, Genevieve and Markus Meyer."</p><p>"It is a pleasure meeting you, Mr and Mrs Meyer," Kurt says. "And may I say, that is a beautiful hat."</p><p>"Oh, this old thing," Mrs Meyer replies, looking pleased. "<em>He's so handsome, Sebastian,</em>" she whispers to her grandson in French. "<em>If I were 40 years younger…</em>"</p><p>"I hope you had a pleasant trip? You came a very long way," Kurt offers conversationally, pretending he didn't understand her to save them all from embarrassment.</p><p>"Ach, I would not miss the wedding of my only granddaughter," Mr Meyer says jovially. "Not in a million years!"</p><p>"<em>Unlike that horrible man who fathered Charlotte's husband,</em>" Mrs Meyer says under her breath. "<em>Rumour has it he isn't even coming.</em>"</p><p>"<em>Oh, rest assured, he isn't,</em>" Kurt replies in French, giving up the ruse of not understanding her, "<em>and I think the party will be all the merrier for it. I had the displeasure of meeting him yesterday, quite a horrible man indeed.</em>"</p><p>"And he speaks French! Oh, he's perfect!" Mrs Meyer exclaims. "<em>Remind me to dance with him later. I need that gorgeous man pressed against me if only just once.</em>"</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "Mémère, you're embarrassing me," he mumbles. "Can you please behave like a proper old lady?"</p><p>"Watch who you are calling an old lady, my boy," she protests. "I did not fly 16 hours to sit on a stool with a blanket on my knees. I came here to party!"</p><p>"I'll watch her," her husband promises, an amused smile on his lips.</p><p>After that, the guests arrive at a good steady pace. From the snippets of conversation that Kurt hears as he moves through the crowd, the press are out in full force waiting for the bride to be. Kurt hopes they don't get too aggressive, but there is plenty of security on site to take care of them if need be, and they're not allowed <em>inside</em>.</p><p>Finally, all the guests are seated; Julian, Carter and the others have worked like a pro team filing everyone into their assigned rows, like they have never done anything else. Kurt only needs to intermediate once, when an elderly relative of Brian's who is hard of hearing requests another seat. He assures her that they have secured acoustics in all seats by planting small microphones in the canopy, and she takes her seat without further protest. Every seat has a program, the officiator is there, the pianist is seated, the photographer is standing by, everyone is eagerly awaiting the arrival of the bride-</p><p>"Relax, babe," Sebastian whispers in Kurt's ear. "You've done all you can." He pauses. "There's no way you could have foreseen the Benz breaking down by the side of the road-"</p><p>"WHAT!?" Kurt lets out, visions of Olivia trying to change a tire in her wedding dress in front of his eyes. Then he sees Sebastian chuckle and he punches him in the shoulder. "Asshole."</p><p>"Hey, watch the suit," Sebastian teases, rubbing his arm and still chuckling a little. Then they see Amelia walk up to give them the signal. Kurt can see Julian and Brian exchange a few words, and Brian's lips curl up. He suspects Julian is teasing him just like his brother has just teased Kurt. The bridesmaids file in and take their places, and Charlotte arrives as well, sending all of them a beaming smile as she sits down in the front row. Kurt sees August give his son the thumbs up. The whole gathering is practically buzzing with love and excitement for the couple, and Kurt is soaking it up.</p><p>The pianist starts playing a slowed, simple variation of Handel's <em>Air</em>, and everyone quiets down, rising to their feet for the bride. <em>This is it</em>, Kurt thinks, and he already starts welling up a little.</p><p>Every head turns to the back, and there she comes on Greg's arm, walking up the aisle slowly. A gasp goes through the entire gathering. Olivia is looking regal in her dress; the strapless bodice plain to display the jewelry around her neck, the voluminous ballgown skirt and train decorated with flowery lace and organza. She is carrying a simple bouquet of pink and white coloured roses and is gliding down the aisle as if she's floating in the air.</p><p>Kurt sneaks a peek at Brian, who is looking more than a little overwhelmed. Kurt kind of knows what that feels like, having had that little moment earlier as he saw Sebastian in his tux for the first time. Kurt takes Sebastian's hand and squeezes it softly. Sebastian turns his palm up and laces their fingers together.</p><p>The procession reaches the tree, the piano music slowly ends, and with a kiss to her cheek, Greg leaves Olivia's side and Brian joins her. He whispers something to her, too quiet for the audio system to pick up, and she laughs. The sound is magnified over the speakers, which startles her a little, and she looks around. Brian points at the microphones, reminding her.</p><p>"Hello!" she says cheerfully, her voice echoing a little, and then she laughs again, looking endearingly excited, like a little girl, at hearing her own voice. Brian looks ecstatic.</p><p>Kurt can see everyone smile along with her, and he knows that whatever happens now, it doesn't matter anymore- they can't mess this up. It's all natural.</p><p>Amelia quickly lays out Olivia's train, draping the delicate fabric out so it fans over the grass behind her, and then the officiator opens the ceremony, asking everyone to be seated before greeting the family and welcoming the couple. He introduces each partner with a few words, and then leaves them to give their own written vows. They take each other's hands and turn to face each other.</p><p>"Olivia," Brian starts, "I remember the moment I first saw you. I was in the back of my parents' car, all dressed up and hating every minute of it, because we were going to visit friends of my parents and that was always excruciatingly <em>boring</em>. But as we pulled up your driveway, I saw you. And all I can remember is thinking-"</p><p>He pauses, and glances over his shoulder at their audience, offering them a small smile.</p><p>"Wow. No training wheels."</p><p>Kurt isn't sure what he expected, but it is such a trivial thing, reminding everyone just how young they were when they first met. He can't help but crack up at the dry way Brian delivered his line.</p><p>Olivia cracks up as well, her beautiful smile pearly white with happiness.</p><p>"Right then, I knew you were the girl I wanted to marry one day," Brian continues. "You were always the bravest, most intimidating- most <em>beautiful </em>person in my life. My best friend. I love you, Olivia Smythe, and if you'll have me, I want to be yours forever."</p><p>Kurt bites his lip. He can see Samantha openly wiping her face already, but he knows the girls' bet wasn't on the female relatives. His inspection of the men's eyes is cut short when Olivia speaks.</p><p>"Brian," Olivia says softly, her voice carrying over the speakers. "I admire you so much. Your courage inspires me; all of our lives, you have had to deal with me and my crazy brothers as a package deal- and I know how infuriating that can be sometimes."</p><p>She stops to throw a pointed look at Julian, who shrugs innocently, and then rests her eyes on Sebastian, her eyes speaking volumes. Then she turns back to Brian.</p><p>"You always held your own, and never let them intimidate or get the better of you, even if I held you up to a ridiculously high standard- you not only had to win me over, but my family as well. I could never be with anyone who is unkind to my brothers."</p><p>Brian nods, acknowledging that as a fact.</p><p>"I love you with all my heart, and I want to be with you, always."</p><p>Kurt feels Sebastian hold on tightly to his hand, almost crushing him, and he glances at him from the corner of his eye.</p><p>"Are you crying?" he whispers as quietly as he can.</p><p>"No," Sebastian says, pulling up his nose and clearing his throat.</p><p>Not hesitating, Kurt takes his handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to him without comment.</p><p>The officiator beckons Julian forward, and he holds out their rings on a small pillow. Olivia and Brian each take one and look into each other's eyes. Brian slips a ring on Olivia's finger, and Olivia on his- it's not easy, as it catches on Brian's knuckle, and Olivia laughs again, teasing him about getting no cake lateron, and then it sits snugly on his finger, and they entwine their hands.</p><p>"Brian and Olivia, by the power invested in me by the state of Pennsylvania," the officiator says, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."</p><p>Julian is the first to react, punching his fist in the air and letting out a cheer, and then everyone is rising from their seats and clapping.</p><p>"Kiss her!" Sebastian shouts, and whistles through his teeth.</p><p>"Yes! Kiss! kiss! " Kurt falls in, and starts clapping rhythmically. The chant is quickly copied by the other members of the gathering, and Brian and Olivia gaze at each other for a moment before complying. Brian puts a hand on her back and dips her back.</p><p>Their friends vocally approve, and then the parents are up on their feet, stepping forward to congratulate them. Kurt turns to Sebastian.</p><p>"Are you okay?" he asks.</p><p>Sebastian shrugs. "Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"</p><p>"No reason," Kurt replies airily. "And you can keep the handkerchief, by the way."</p><p>Sebastian nudges Kurt with his elbow and Kurt laughs, taking his hand to lead him towards Olivia and Brian. When she sees them, she breaks away from Brian's mother to pull them into a hug, tugging Brian with her. It's a bit of an awkward group hug, but Kurt can feel the love. The next second, he feels more arms encase them - Julian and Cooper have joined them too. He closes his eyes and soaks in the love, hoping that one of the photographers has the mind to take a picture of this.</p><p>"You look beautiful Livvie," Sebastian says somewhere near his right ear. "I can't believe you're not a Smythe anymore!"</p><p>Olivia lets out a happy giggle. "Don't worry Seb, I may be his wife, but I'll always be <em>your</em> big sister." Kurt doesn't have to see his face to know that Sebastian is smiling.</p><p>Their little moment is soon broken up by more people wanting to get at the bride and groom, and the four of them break away in search of champagne. Kurt knows Olivia and Brian will be whisked away soon for their couple pictures anyway, and they have the rest of the day to celebrate together.</p><p>*****</p><p>"No mom, it's hopeless!" Kurt's ears pick up Olivia's words of distress before he even sees her. He and Sebastian have been standing by the bar making small talk with some of Greg's colleagues (soon to be Sebastian's, now that Kurt comes to think about it), but when he hears Olivia's words, his head snaps around in search of her.</p><p>He spots her standing with Charlotte down by the water, Olivia is gesturing wildly and pointing at herself and her dress; Charlotte is very clearly trying to keep her daughter calm.</p><p>"Excuse me, I want to check on the bride," Kurt says.</p><p>Sebastian looks up and follows Kurt's eyes to his sister. "I'll come with you," he says immediately. They excuse themselves from their conversation and hurry towards the two women. Charlotte has a hand on her daughter's shoulder and looks like she's consoling her. Kurt's eyes first go to her neck- at least Dame Taylor's necklace is still there.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"Oh, nothing," Olivia peeps, wiping at her face. "It's nothing, Kurt, don't worry."</p><p>Kurt glances at Sebastian. Neither of them buy it. "What is it?" Sebastian insists.</p><p>"It's just a dress malfunction," Charlotte says. "It's not the end of the world. She still has a beautiful party dress to change into-"</p><p>"But I wanted <em>this </em>dress for the first dance," Olivia sniffles. "And now everything is ruined!"</p><p>"What happened?" Kurt asks, scanning the dress with his eyes. He can't really see anything wrong with it- the hemline is a little dusty, but that's expected after walking the grounds for picture locations.</p><p>"We took pictures with my full train out and then mom put it up into the bustle so I could walk, and some idiot from the cake delivery service stepped on it when we were on our way back with the photographer," Olivia says. All I heard was this huge rip, and mom just checked-"</p><p>"The main hook for the over bustle hang-up is gone," Charlotte says. "It must have torn off and fell down somewhere. We looked, but…"</p><p>"The what for the what?" Sebastian asks, at the same time as Kurt says "Oh no!"</p><p>Olivia shakes her head. "I know it shouldn't matter, I mean I am married, and we already took the pictures, it happened on the way back-"</p><p>"But you want to do the first dance in this dress," Kurt adds. "And with no hooks, you can't put the trail up," he explains, more for Sebastian's sake than anyone else's. He understands the disappointment.</p><p>Olivia nods. "We practised so much, it'll be a completely different feeling if we do it in my cocktail dress, there'll be no <em>swishing</em>."</p><p>"Okay, let me see." Kurt is going into fix-it mode. Olivia wants swishing, so he wants to make it happen for her. "I brought a needle and thread for wardrobe malfunctions but I didn't think to bring any spare hooks and grommets…what about the bridesmaids?" he mumbles as he puts his hands on her hips to make her turn around.</p><p>Olivia scoffs. "They're <em>useless.</em> One is in love with the singer and the others are already drunk. They didn't bring anything either," she says bitterly. "So why Amelia brought that ugly ass purse, no one knows. It doesn't even fit her dress."</p><p>"Come on now, Livvie," Charlotte says, "Don't be dramatic. There's no need to talk the whole thing into the ground over this."</p><p>"It's <em>my </em>wedding and I get to be as dramatic as I want," Olivia declares dramatically. Kurt drops down on his knee to pry at the bustle loops on the dress, and lifts one hand up under the hem to feel for the other side of the knot.</p><p>"Babe, you're gonna do this here?" Sebastian asks in a low voice, looking around.</p><p>"Relax, Sebastian. Everyone here already knows I am gay so they're not going to mind if I put my hand up a dress. Hold this." And Kurt hands him a handful of tulle layers to hold up while he nearly disappears under Olivia's huge skirt. "Okay, still intact," he lets out, and Sebastian groans.</p><p>"He's talking about the skirt," he says loudly to no one in particular. "Not my sister's hymen. ‘Cause he's gay."</p><p>"Sebastian!" Charlotte lets out and swats her son's arm, but at least Olivia is smiling again.</p><p>Kurt resurfaces from the skirt and rises to his feet. "Okay," he says. "I know what I need. Charlotte, could you go to the sound booth and get me some duct tape-"</p><p>"You're fixing a Vera Wang dress with duct tape?!" Olivia lets out scandalized.</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "I only want to strengthen the cloth a little from the inside before I stick a needle into it," he explains, "You won't see it. And then I need-"</p><p>He looks at Sebastian, then at himself. "Hmm."</p><p>He casts his eyes around the groups of party guests spread around the lawn.<em> Designer shirt, designer shirt</em>, he muses, going over each outfit. Then his eyes locate his step brother.</p><p>"Finn. I'll be right back."</p><p>"Finn? You need <em>Finn</em>? What about me?" Sebastian calls after him, but Kurt is already heading towards him.</p><p>"Hey Kurt, isn't this party the best? I already had four of those cracker things and no one told me to stop," Finn says happily, holding up a canapé- then frowns. "Well, Rachel did, but I mean no one official. Do you think I could get a fifth?"</p><p>"Finn, where did you get your shirt?" Kurt interrupts him.</p><p>"Huh?" Finn lets out. He considers it for a moment. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"It was a new shirt, wasn't it?"</p><p>"Yes, of course, mom told me to get a new one because the one I wore to Nationals got a slushy stain on it. I think it's from Walmart, is that bad?"</p><p>"It's perfect," Kurt says, feeling relieved. "Pull out the tails, please."</p><p>"Why? Do you want to switch? Your shirt is much nicer, dude, and no offence but this one might be a bit big for you." Finn drops his voice to a low whisper. "Do you have a stain on yours too?" He looks over Kurt critically. Kurt resists the urge to roll his eyes but it's hard.</p><p>"Please, just do it. I don't need your whole shirt. I just need <em>this</em>." As soon as Finn pulls out the tails of his shirt, Kurt reaches for the hem and flips it over. There, as expected, below the last button is a small scrap of fabric with two extra buttons. He takes hold of the main fabric and yanks the small scrap off.</p><p>"Woah, I didn't know that was there," Finn says, staring at it. "Did you?"</p><p>Kurt nods. "Factory-made shirts usually have extra buttons. And none of the rich folk here are wearing anything off the rack. You, Finn, just saved Olivia's wedding dance."</p><p>"I did?" Finn asks happily. "Cool." Then he pauses. "I don't have to dance with her, do I? I don't know how to waltz."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "Brian will take care of that. Thank you, Finn." He puts a hand on Finn's shoulder, lifts himself up on his tiptoes and kisses his cheek. "You're the best brother."</p><p>He leaves Finn looking puzzled but proud, and quickly hurries back to Olivia. Within minutes, he has sown the replacement buttons onto the dress, and the trail can be hooked into them, shaping the overbustle. He fluffs out the fabric and steps back to admire his work.</p><p>"The original buttons were prettier, of course," he mumbles, forever a critic of his own work, but Olivia is already spinning and is nearly crying with happiness.</p><p>"You fixed it!" she says happily. "I can dance!" She envelopes him in a huge hug, nearly toppling Kurt over. "You're amazing," she whispers into his ear. "Please marry my brother so I can keep you always."</p><p>"I heard that," Sebastian says from the side, but he's looking oddly proud too.</p><p>With the couple pictures taken care of, the ushers begin coaxing everyone to the dining area, where they will formally introduce the bride and groom as Mr and Mrs Wilton, and they will finally taste that steak Kurt has been telling Burt about since he saw the menu orders. He can't wait.</p><p>*****</p><p>All through dinner, which is as fantastic as money can buy, Kurt can't help but look around at the seating arrangements, checking if everyone is having a good time. Of course he hardly knew any of the guests when he and Olivia sat and puzzled together over the new seating plan, but he feels like he knows all of the guests a little now- in any case it has helped memorize their names, and that has already helped him in conversation earlier on the day.</p><p>Socializing with the well-to-do and being a wedding planner have a few things in common; one of them being that remembering people's names and food preferences make everyone feel appreciated. Their own dinner group consists of himself and Sebastian, Sebastian's grandparents, and Kurt's family and it's nice that Kurt finally has more time to catch up with them. Having spent the best part of the last month either on a private beach in another state, or here finalising wedding plans, Kurt really has missed them and wants to make the most of this time with them before he jets off to New York to finally live his Broadway dream.</p><p>
  <em>Broadway, NYADA...Sebastian...it's all really happening.</em>
</p><p>Sebastian seems to be enjoying this extra time with his grandparents too. Kurt knows how much he loves them, and having the time to sit and speak to them now makes Kurt see why. They are caring and charming in equal measure, sure to include the entire table in their conversation, asking questions in all the right places and then genuinely listening to the answers.</p><p>They also divulge stories about the Smythe children as they grew up, and not just about the time they each spent living with them - though there are plenty of those too.</p><p>"Sebastian," Genevieve says, sitting back in her chair and patting her grandson's hand. "You <em>must </em>bring this charming boy to Paris."</p><p>Kurt preens a little, bouncing in his seat at the thought. <em>Paris! </em></p><p>Sebastian smiles at him, reaching a hand over to draw him close. "I will, Mémère," Sebastian promises. "Maybe over Spring Break?" he turns to Kurt. "You'll <em>love</em> Paris in the Spring."</p><p>"Oh I agree, it is by far our best season,"Markus adds.</p><p>"I already know I'll love Paris in <em>any </em>season," Kurt says honestly.</p><p>"<em>He has something to cross off his bucket list there,</em>" Sebastian whispers confidentially to his grandmother.</p><p>"<em>Ohhh, naughty!</em>" she giggles, and Kurt gives them both an exasperated look.</p><p>The static of a microphone switching on breaks the moment and the smalltalk filling the room dies down as everyone's attention turns to the top table, where Greg has stood up to make his speech.</p><p>He does not disappoint. As he listens, Kurt realizes that Julian must have gotten his knack for public speaking from his dad, who has the same presence and confidence that the gathered crowd will listen to what he has to say. He even manages to land a few jokes - and much to Kurt's embarrassment, his own father is the one who laughs first and loudest at them. By the end of Greg's speech, he is looking at Burt like he has found his dad-joke soulmate. Kurt can tell it's going to be a long, long trip back home for Carole, Finn and Rachel, with Burt repeating every single joke ad nauseam. He's glad he'll be flying with Sebastian and the Smythes.</p><p>Then, just as Kurt assumes Greg has finished, he adds one final subject.</p><p>"Before I give the word to the groom," he says, "I would like to make one small personal announcement that involves my family."</p><p>Kurt sits up, wondering what is coming next.</p><p>"You see, we have a family group chat on WhatsApp. It's handy for sharing information, letting the others know where you are…" He trails off and smiles. "And those of you who were at Brian and Olivia's engagement party may remember that I added Brian to our group chat that day as a symbolic gesture. Now, recent events have taught me-" He looks over to Julian and Cooper.</p><p>"That maybe we shouldn't hold out that long before we accept someone as our family. Families are more than just blood or wedding vows- they are love, caring, devotion. And today, I would like to welcome not just Brian to my family, but also two other gentlemen, who have shown true devotion to my children and my family. Kurt, Cooper-"</p><p>Kurt sucks in a breath, finding Sebastian's hand under the table.</p><p>"I want the both of you to know that you are always welcome with us; that we accept and respect you the way you are, and that we hope that you'll be a part of our family for a long time."</p><p>Greg holds up his hand with his phone in it. "By the power invested in me as admin of the group chat, I am adding you boys to the Smythe Family Chat."</p><p>Kurt clasps his hands over his face, feeling more moved than he can say. He looks at his father, who is beaming at him like he just scored another goal on the football field. <em>That's my son</em>, he radiates.</p><p>Kurt can tell that quite a few people around them are whispering among themselves, wondering what this has to do with the wedding, and speculating what those ‘recent events' may have been. Kurt knows Greg means the encounter at last night's rehearsal dinner, and finding out that the Andersons disowned Cooper. Having Greg give such a clear statement of endorsement at a high profile event like this means more than anything. His phone buzzes in his pocket; Greg has come through with his promise.</p><p>"Did you know about this?" Kurt whispers to Sebastian as the others all applaud.</p><p>"No," Sebastian says, looking a little overwhelmed himself. "I like it, though."</p><p>"Me too," Kurt says.</p><p>Brian stands up and shakes Greg's hand. His hat has come off and his hair is sticking up a little at the back, but he still manages to hold the regal air of a 1930's gentleman. He takes the microphone from Greg and smiles around at the crowd.</p><p>"Thank you Greg," he starts. "I'd just like to start off by saying I couldn't agree with you more about adding Kurt and Cooper to the chat. Honestly I'm not sure why you made <em>me</em> wait so long. I am a little jealous now." He grins and winks at his father in law, who shrugs and grins back at him, causing the audience to laugh.</p><p>"Now on to my <em>actual</em> speech. Honestly I have to say I was more worried about writing this thing than I was about my vows. My wife and I-" he pauses at that and a tiny, happy smile lights up his face. From the next table along, Julian wolf whistles. "-have a <em>lot</em> of people to thank and I apologise if I forget some of you…"</p><p>He starts by thanking his parents, Olivia's parents and brothers, the bridesmaids and Carter, Kurt also gets another mention and then a few other people that are here that Kurt only knows by name.</p><p>He then moves into a few more stories about he and Olivia growing up together; that time they rode camels in Egypt and one tried to eat Olivia's shawl, and sneaking out from school in the dead of night to meet up in secret.</p><p>It is another beautiful speech and Kurt wonders if part of being a <em>thoroughbred</em> is taking a speech giving class. After Brian raises his glass in a toast to Olivia and he thanks her once again for marrying him, Julian stands up and makes his way to the front, taking the mic from his brother in law. He looks around and smirks.</p><p>"Good afternoon everyone. Usually, a best man has so much material to choose from. Embarrassing stories about ex-girlfriends- ...or boyfriends," he pauses and winks. "Maybe some raunchy stories about the times they had to bail the groom out of a bad date or make up a cover story about what happened at the bachelor party…" He pauses again. "I've been to <em>those</em> kinds of bachelor parties...hell, I have organized such parties!"</p><p>Julian shrugs exaggeratedly and holds up his empty hand in a helpless gesture.</p><p>"But Brian, man, how am I supposed to do my job right?" He points at Brian. "This man has only ever dated one girl in his life, and even on the night of his bachelor party, I caught him texting her constantly! He is the epitome of a perfect gentleman. Which is great, as a brother, because it means I don't have to beat him up-"</p><p>"Ha! As if you could!" Brian lets out.</p><p>"But as a best man, it does make for a very boring speech. So I am afraid I am going to have to focus on <em>you</em>, my darling little sister…"</p><p>Ten minutes later, Kurt has learned a lot about what it was like growing up with Olivia; her time in high school, her senior prom- and a lot more about the times Julian has walked in on them during private moments than he ever wanted to know (which Kurt feels says more about Julian than about them). But just as he feels that the audience can't really take any more innuendo and second-hand embarrassment, Julian turns serious.</p><p>"...and yet, what I remember most from growing up with you, Liv, is that all of us; me, Seb, Brian; we could count on you. We still can. You are there for us, you show up. You're not afraid to kick our ass if we go too far- and you know I did, most of all. I never really thanked you for that. You helped me change my life around. Your tough love-" He grins and shakes his head a little, "and it was <em>tough</em>, I'll tell you that! It made me a better person. I love you, Livvie."</p><p>Kurt is one of the first to start applauding. Sebastian nods and joins in, and soon, the whole assembly is clapping. Julian waits for a moment, then raises his hand to signal that he wants to add more.</p><p>"I have one more announcement. As some of you may know, I am somewhat of an artist-"</p><p>One of their friends whistles through his teeth and Julian grins.</p><p>"I mean, I am an <em>amazing</em> artist-" he corrects, and a few people, including Olivia, clap, "and Livvie has been begging me to make something for her for years."</p><p>Kurt glances at Olivia, who sits listening with her lower lip trapped between her teeth, looking touched and hopeful, one hand holding Brian's and the other over her heart.</p><p>"So for this special occasion, I finally got off my ass and did it. On your way in towards the aisle, you may have seen a pedestal covered in a sheet. That wasn't an oversight or some kind of embarrassing bride-and-groom game we prepared for later-" He pauses for laughs, "but it's my gift to you, Liv and Brian, and if you want to join me, I would like to show it to you now. The photographer would also like to start taking the group portraits, so perhaps we shall go up ahead and the rest of you may follow by order of the seating; the ushers will show you the way."</p><p>Olivia rises from her seat first and crosses the distance to her brother, enveloping him in a tight hug. "You haven't even seen it yet," he jokes, but kisses her cheek and holds her tightly anyway. They exchange a few words only they can hear.</p><p>Kurt reaches for his phone, but then sees that the photographer is already on it- she really knows her job. He's glad they'll have a special memory of this moment later, and he is honored to be a part of it.</p><p>The family follows closely as Julian leads the bride and groom over to the artwork. Kurt is curious what Julian has made- he hasn't been allowed to see it either. He knows Sebastian helped Julian the week before while he was venue hunting with Liv, and again while setting up the pedestal, but Sebastian hasn't told him anything either.</p><p>Julian waits until his family gathers around the covered pedestal. If he's nervous, he doesn't show it- much. Kurt thinks he can detect something in Julian's eyes and the way they keep flitting to Cooper, who is beaming at him in full confidence, smiling broadly the way he approaches everything. Kurt straightens his back and mimics Cooper just a little, wanting to send the same vibes to Julian. Presenting your art, even if you are satisfied with it, is hard.</p><p>Olivia and Brian are holding hands. Olivia's eyes are already welling up. Julian takes hold of the cover and pulls it away to reveal a small, freestanding statue, carefully assembled from scrap metals; some gleaming, some matte; shining in gold, silver and rusty orange. It shows a couple ballroom dancing, their faces close, their bodies angled towards each other, and although their faces are constructed out of small plates, gears, screws and chain, Kurt can feel the passion they show, the movement in the pose.</p><p>"Jules-" Olivia whispers, but Julian's lips curl up deviously, and he presses a button on the pedestal. The statue starts to turn on its platform to reveal the other side. Without any of the parts actually moving, the perspective change now shows two hands- with gleaming rings, reaching up to clasp each other. It reminds Kurt of Rodin's ‘Cathedral', and with the family's connection to Paris and France, he knows that's probably intentional.</p><p>Everyone is quiet for a moment. Only the soft whirring of the motor revolving the piece can be heard, and slowly, the dancers are revealed again. Finally, Cooper is the one to break the silence.</p><p>"Isn't it fantastic?" he says eagerly. "It's a masterpiece! Julian is a genius."</p><p>Olivia nods frantically, wiping at her eyes and trying not to smudge her make-up as she does so. "It's amazing," she whispers hoarsely. "I love it."</p><p>"I feel like it should be in a museum," Brian adds.</p><p>"It's so clever," Charlotte says, and she looks up at her husband with a look that is universal for proud parents - <em>I made this. </em>Greg nods and approaches the piece of art, studying it from all sides.</p><p>"It's incredible," he mumbles. "I didn't know you could do this."</p><p>"I did," Olivia says, having found her voice again. "And now everyone will be able to see how brilliant my big brother is. Starting now!"</p><p>She looks at the small gatherings of guests that are filtering from the dinner tent towards the lawn, and beckons them forward. Julian takes a step back to make room, but Kurt quickly grabs Sebastian's hand and pulls him along.</p><p>"You stay," he tells Julian. "It's your piece! We'll make room for the others." He lightly touches Charlotte's back, and as she catches his eye, she nods in understanding. She loops her arm into Greg's and leads him aside as well.</p><p>The four of them walk back towards the large tree where the aisle had been earlier - the chairs have since been removed and rearranged around the garden to offer guests places to sit as the afternoon turns into evening.</p><p>The other photographer spots them together and they pose for some pictures. First one of the four of them, Kurt and Sebstian framed by Greg and Charlotte; then a few of the parents on their own. Kurt can't help but admire how good they look together, still so clearly in love, even after almost thirty years of marriage. He hopes that his and Sebastian's relationship lasts that long. As he looks at the ancient tree towering over them, its bough reminding everyone of the many years it took to grow, Kurt realizes that the idea of starting a new forever doesn't scare him any more.</p><p>Next it's Kurt and Sebastian's turn, and Kurt is already planning to ask Olivia for a copy of them- he's going to need pictures to decorate his dorm room after all!</p><p>Slowly but surely the rest of the family and wedding party join them and they spend the next hour having various group pictures taken. Kurt's favourite by far has to be the shot of Olivia hoisting up her dress to show off her garter, Brian at her feet and Greg's staged look of dismay in the background - it's a clichée image, but Kurt loves it anyway.</p><p>He will definitely also be asking for a copy of the groom and his entourage in their suits, because, <em>hello</em>- suits that expensive need to be shown off. The photographer clearly thought so too, and took a whole series with them, asking the groomsmen to take of their jackets at some point so they were all in white (and Kurt believes he saw her taking a few pictures of the <em>process </em>of them taking off those jackets too, and he secretly wonders if that goes into some kind of Magic Mike personal album for her later- and if he could get a copy of that, too).</p><p>As the final ‘official' images are snapped and the sun starts to set, an announcement comes over the sound system, inviting the bride and groom in to cut the cake. Kurt bounces on the balls of his feet; he'd watched them deliver it that morning and he's never seen something edible that is so beautiful in his life; it's three tiers of different flavored sponges; one lemon, one chocolate and one red velvet covered in a pink and white marble effect glaze, flecks of edible gold leaf scattered across it. It will almost be a shame to cut into it, but then...red velvet? Bring it on.</p><p>They make their way towards the marquee as a group and gather round to watch as the couple cut into the cake, and then take it in turns hand feeding the other. They both look so incandescently happy - with Olivia playfully warning Brian not to ruin her dress, but also to give her a bigger piece because she is hungry and a wedding is ‘like a certified cheat day', and Brian wanting to try all three layers- that Kurt can't fight the bubble of happiness that swells up inside of him. He wants to stay in this moment forever. Or maybe not forever, because he really wants to try that cake too.</p><p>"Ladies and gentlemen," the lead singer of the band says into the microphone, cutting off his thoughts. "If you'd all please line the way, I'd like to invite the bride and groom to the dance floor for their first dance."</p><p>The crowd all cheer and hurry to form a tunnel with their arms that will lead the couple into the middle of the dance floor. Kurt holds Sebastian's hands in the air and they share a smile across the gap as Olivia and Brian pass through, laughing happily.</p><p>The beautiful, gleaming dancefloor lies waiting for them and as everyone breaks away to gather around the outside Kurt starts to feel a little nervous- not because of the fixed up wedding dress (because that will hold, he is certain of his handiwork), but because halfway through the first dance, it is their turn too.</p><p>This is what they have been practising for; those four sweltering evenings in the community center under the watchful eye and teasing smiles of Penny and Eduardo, avoiding the other's feet and their own feelings. They will dance together as a couple, for everyone to see.</p><p>Kurt can feel his heart thrum in his throat. He knows it'll be a waltz but not the pace, or what song they'll play; Olivia said she had picked her own song and had refused to give it away.</p><p>What will it be like dancing with Sebastian here? Will people be staring at them like they stared at him at the prom? Some of the guests had opposed to a same-sex couple dancing at the club, after all. But they have been together all day already, and so have Julian and Cooper, and so far, Kurt hasn't once felt judged or out of place. They find a space at the edge of the dance floor, and to make room for everyone to see, Sebastian sidles up behind Kurt, wrapping his arms around him and hooking his chin over Kurt's shoulder.</p><p>Brian takes his place on one side of the dance floor, Olivia facing him from across the floor, and people start getting out their phones. The photographer is ready too. Brian nods to the band. His lips quiver in a nervous smile, but it turns determined when he looks back at his wife. When the music sets in, a soft piano melody, Kurt forgets everything around him. He gasps and covers his mouth with his hands.</p><p>Brian and Olivia meet in the middle, both reaching out their hands to touch each other on the opposite shoulder, and Olivia goes into several spins and a fan before they meet in dancing position for a viennese waltz.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Sebastian whispers, leaning closer to look at him from the side. Kurt quickly nods, and vaguely waves at the band as if that explains everything. He had not been prepared to be hit with feelings <em>this</em> hard.</p><p>The female singer steps to the microphone and starts into the verse. As if on cue, tears roll down Kurt's cheeks.</p><p>
  <em>The day we met frozen I held my breath-</em>
</p><p>"Oh my god, It's perfect. I can't believe how perfect it is…" Kurt whispers.</p><p>
  <em>Right from the start I knew that I'd found a home for my heart-</em>
</p><p>Fiction and reality mingle before Kurt's eyes; the tree, the flowers, the garden wedding- Oliva and Brian, <em>Bella and Edward (and Jacob!)</em>, it all makes sense; this is the <em>only</em> song they could have played - how did Olivia know they would end up here? Surely they had picked the song months ago...</p><p>
  <em>One step closer-</em>
</p><p>"It's the Twilight song," Sebastian concludes, now recognising it (<em>finally</em>, Kurt adds in his mind, and he'd roll his eyes if he didn't want to keep them focused on Olivia and Brian dancing). He nods vigorously, mouthing the words along.</p><p>"Wow, that<em> is</em> actually perfect," Sebastian whispers, hugging Kurt a little tighter to his chest.</p><p>They watch as Brian leads Olivia around the dance floor, her gown floating like a fairytale, gently swishing as they turn, step away and reunite, their eyes only focused on each other. With the success of every difficult step, a little of the tension in their faces bleeds away until they are nothing but smiles- they've <em>got</em> this.</p><p>Kurt <em>yearns </em>so much it almost hurts. He yearns to dance this well, to be so in sync with someone like this. He yearns to be in this fairytale, with the scenery and the music and the <em>first-and-forever-boyfriend</em>...he sucks in a sharp breath because it <em>still </em>smarts a little that the latter is gone forever. But before he can give it too much thought, Sebastian presses his cheek against the side of Kurt's face and he is reminded that while he may not be his first, <em>this</em> is the boy he is in love with, and deep inside he knows they can be in sync like this too.</p><p>Sebastian seems to think the same, because as the chorus ends and the male singer starts his verse, the couple gesture for their guests to join them on the dance floor and Sebastian immediately finds Kurt's hand and pulls him along.</p><p>"They've had the spotlight long enough," he jokes quietly so only Kurt can hear. "This is a rumba, right?"</p><p>Kurt's jaw drops and he is about to protest when Sebastian puts his arms around him and leads him into the waltz, looking far too smug for his own good. "Just kidding, Kurt. If I have learned anything in dance class, it's that you hurt my toes less when you're trying to be better than me."</p><p>"I <em>am</em> better than you," Kurt growls, but he can't keep a straight face and snorts - and immediately fumbles a step. Sebastian chuckles and Kurt stomps on his toe on purpose.</p><p>"Focus now. I don't want to look stupid," he whispers urgently, and Sebastian makes a kissy face at him as Kurt spins outward under his hand. They look far from stupid and they both know it.</p><p>Kurt looks around. The dance floor is filling and they need to make their travelling steps smaller and smaller. He sees Greg and Charlotte, August and Samantha, Geneveive and Markus, Julian and Cooper (and isn't that a picture) and even his dad and Carole are dancing, though they are doing something of a high school shuffle.</p><p>Rachel is standing by the side, looking a little forlorn and checking her phone, probably to look busy. Finn definitely doesn't dance like this, and knowing Rachel she either wants to do all the spins or none at all. "I should ask her," Kurt says, discreetly nodding towards his friend. "It's not her fault Finn has two left feet."</p><p>"You can give to charity later," Sebastian replies, tightening his hand on Kurt's back. "You're mine for now."</p><p>Kurt tears his eyes away from Rachel to look into Sebastian's eyes. "I will always be yours," he says softly, feeling swept away by the romance of the moment, the song and the fairy tale. He smiles shyly.</p><p>
  <em>For a thousand years - I love you for a thousand more…</em>
</p><p>The piano plays the final chords, and they come to a stand still. For a moment it looks like Sebastian wants to say something, and then people around them are applauding, and everyone's attention is drawn back to the bride and groom.</p><p>Olivia is beaming, her cheeks flushed pink, and she thrusts up a hand. "The bar is open! Let's get this party started!!" she shouts, the vision of the fairytale princess falling off her to reveal the feisty woman underneath. She'll be going to change into her evening dress now, Kurt knows, all formalities at an end, and then they will party until sunrise. He turns back to Sebastian to ask what he was about to say, when he sees his boyfriend's expression fall.</p><p>"What?" Kurt asks, feeling a cold shiver creep down his back at the disturbed look in Sebastian's eyes at something behind him. He spins on his heels and sees Rachel coming for him, her phone in hand. She looks panicked, her eyes wide and almost filled with tears.</p><p>"Rachel?" he asks. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Kurt, I think I messed up," she says. "I texted Blaine yesterday, after our chat. I wanted to reassure him that you are alright, that Sebastian isn't-"</p><p>"Isn't <em>what</em>?" Sebastian asks sharply, his eyes narrowing.</p><p>Rachel shoots Kurt a pleading look. "I thought Blaine already knew!" she lets out, "I thought that you said you told him about it-"</p><p>"I said I <em>tried </em>to contact him at the start of summer," Kurt reminds her tersely. "He never replied." He feels like everything is spinning out of control. Blaine knows. He knows whatever Rachel has told him (it doesn't even matter) - he <em>knows</em>. "What did he say?"</p><p>Rachel holds up her phone and lets out an apologetic whimper. "He's just landed at Lehigh Valley airport." Her phone shows Blaine's facebook status. He's in Allentown."</p><p>Kurt's jaw drops. "He flew <em>here</em>? He isn't supposed to come back from San Francisco until Tuesday!"</p><p>He quickly does the math. If Rachel texted him yesterday, that was the 24th of August...Blaine's last day of summer camp. He was going to stay in San Francisco for the weekend and do some sightseeing, buy gifts and souvenirs before returning to Ohio (and to him) on the 28th. Clearly something -or someone- has changed his mind. If he's here already, he must have boarded the first direct flight here this morning.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Kurt, you have to believe me," Rachel pleads, but Kurt tunes her out. He suddenly feels cold. Blaine knows, and he's here. Not in Ohio- he's in Pennsylvania, and there is no reason for him to be here except <em>Kurt.</em> He meets Sebastian's eyes and knows his boyfriend is thinking the exact same thing.</p><p>Blaine is coming to get Kurt back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wedding Playlist part 1:<br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neKt8SdunNU">[Entry of the Bride] - Air - Water Music - Handel</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RbcR_KSRB8">[Opening Dance - Song] A Thousand Years Part 2</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytUZfddj95g">[Opening Dance - Choreography Video]</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(FINAL) DEDICATIONS: </p><p>[Dafty] - To JWM : I want to start this by saying thank you. Thank you for going on this journey with me, for indulging my need for fluff but also reining me in from writing 20 chapters of these two boys falling in love at the beach. This is our 4th project that we’ve worked on together now, and I could not imagine doing any of this without you. Your writing talent is second to none and working with you makes me a better writer. The thing I have to thank you most for though, is your friendship. The journey we have been on over these past 3 years has meant more to me than I can say; your support, generosity and kindness means everything to me and I really do not know what I would do without you. Now, let’s sit back and watch Queer Eye Season 5 with wine, cheese and gin and take a well-earned break. Love you babe.<br/>-<br/>[JWM] - To Dafty : from cheerleader to counselor &amp; ACITW-encyclopedia, to beta &amp; co-author; you were and are everything to me, and this work would never even have existed without you. Thank you for nights of plotting, phone conferences, headcanons; for guiding me through my darkest moments, for abiding my ceaseless badgering about 'canon' and painstakingly correcting minute details that I glossed over. I am sorry you had to bear the brunt of the anons; they targeted you specifically, even if I may have deserved it more for starting this fic. We had planned to be together for the release; COVID19 stopped our plans, but you are in the pocket over my heart (and sometimes, my ass), always.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt looks around them. The band has started a new song, a traditional slow waltz, for the elderly guests wanting to join in. Olivia and Brian have changed partners, inviting their new father and mother in law to the dancefloor respectively. Greg and Samantha will take their turns too, then Julian, and Olivia had made it very clear she planned to dance with Sebastian and Kurt as well. They know nothing of what is threatening to happen. Their world does not extend beyond the dancefloor and their happy bubble- one that Kurt was in right until now. How quickly everything can change; how a few words turn everything upside down. Kurt already knows how that works, and he greets it with the bitter melancholy of inviting in a former friend.</p><p><em>This is it,</em> he thinks to himself. <em>This is the thing I have been dreading.</em> One thing always goes wrong at a wedding - and he has let himself be blindsided by the dress when all along it had still been on its way.</p><p>Suddenly he feels out of place here. Among the revellers, there is no room to think, to go over what he needs to say. Kurt is angry with himself for not anticipating this, for not being prepared- he had given Blaine's return a place in his head for next week, compartmentalizing it neatly away until after the wedding to deal with then. This isn't supposed to happen <em>now. </em>There is no Plan B and he is not dressed for confrontation.</p><p>"I can't be here-" he starts, breaking off and shaking his head slightly. He mustn't make a scene- not here, not now- he has worked too hard to give Olivia the perfect wedding she deserves. But his mind feels like it's going to explode, and every count of the waltz is like a hammer onto his skull. Rachel looks at him in confusion, but Sebastian catches on immediately. </p><p>"What do you need?" he asks, looking ready and determined.</p><p> "I need some air," Kurt whispers. He is aware of how it sounds- they are, after all, in a <em>garden</em>- but Sebastian doesn't question it. </p><p>"Let's go to the parking lot," he says, offering Kurt his arm. It makes sense- if Blaine is on his way, that's where he'll turn up. He's not going to materialize on the dance floor. Kurt nods gratefully, his throat too thick for words.</p><p>"I'll come with you," Rachel offers.</p><p>"No," the both of them say in unison. Kurt swallows hard around the lump in his throat to find his voice.</p><p>"You need to stay put and cover for us," he instructs sternly. "I don't want Olivia or Brian to notice anything. <em>Anything,</em> do you hear me? Make whatever excuse you need."</p><p> "But I feel responsible," Rachel says plaintively.</p><p>"You <em>are</em>," Sebastian cuts in. "That's why you are getting this job. Don't fuck it up, Berry."</p><p>Rachel's eyes go wide, but then she nods, her head bobbing up and down. </p><p>Sebastian leads Kurt off the dance floor. There's a sudden smile on his lips, an extra adoring gaze, and all Kurt can think of is: <em>weeks of fake-dating have trained us for this moment.</em> He smiles back, pretends to whisper something in his ear, and then they head off away from the crowd. For once, Sebastian's former lifestyle and his reputation are of use to them; if anyone is watching them right now, Kurt knows what it looks like. He also knows how it may reflect upon <em>him</em>, but at this moment in time, he doesn't care. Saving Olivia's wedding is more important than his reputation. Let everyone think they are sneaking off to have sex; at least that way, no one will suspect a potentially disruptive wedding crasher is on his way.</p><p>They walk back through the entrance of the garden- now romantically lit with hundreds of fairy lights- and in another scenario, this would have been the perfect spot to really do what everyone thinks they have gone off to do. But right now, Kurt just holds on to Sebastian's hand tightly, clenching his jaw so hard it almost hurts, needing to be away from the romance to focus on the <em>Blaine </em>of it all. </p><p>"I'm so sorry," Kurt says as soon as they are outside. He can still hear the music in the background, layered over a muted hum of voices, but no one can hear them now, which is what matters.</p><p>"What for?" Sebastian asks, frowning a little. </p><p>Kurt shrugs uncomfortably. "I feel like...maybe somewhere deep inside, I wanted this to happen. But now that it is, I don't want it anymore- you have to believe me!"</p><p>"You <em>wanted</em> him to come crash the wedding?" Sebastian asks, scoffing a little.</p><p>"No!" Kurt assures him quickly. "I just mean...when I updated my relationship status on Facebook, I sort of expected...something. A reaction. When nothing came, it just felt like…" He shrugs, hugging his own arms.</p><p>Sebastian's expression changes from guarded to understanding.</p><p>"Like he didn't care at all?" he suggests carefully. Kurt nods. His throat feels thick again, and tears well up in his eyes. </p><p>"I mean, I already felt like our whole relationship didn't matter to him anymore when I heard it only took him <em>nine days</em> to find someone else," he blurts out, and Sebastian winces in sympathy but he has to go on now, the flood of words wanting to come out can't be stopped, "but I somehow thought that he'd at least...put up some kind of fight if he realized I had moved on too."</p><p>"Do you think he's coming to fight?" Sebastian asks, his eyes scanning the dark parking lot. </p><p>Kurt shrugs. "I don't know. When Cooper told me about him, it sounded like he still cared, and yet he never contacted me, never gave me <em>any </em>hope-" He swallows hard. "It felt like he <em>left </em>me, completely, without looking back." </p><p>He shakes his head and looks down on his shoes for a moment before looking up at Sebastian. "At least if he <em>does</em> come tonight, it will show that he cared." Too little, too late, but still. </p><p>Then, before either of them can say anything else, Julian comes running up to them.</p><p>"Is he here yet?" he asks, breathing hard. He looks around the parking lot. Both Sebastian and Kurt wait silently for Julian to figure out the rather obvious answer to his question.</p><p>"Good. Because I have stuff to say," Julian announces, and turns to Kurt. "Look, I know you love chick flicks, and a long-lost love crashing a wedding with some kind of serenade is about as romantic as it fucking gets, but please,<em> please</em> don't fall for it. I saw how heartbroken you were. I saw first-hand what he did to you, how much it hurt when he cheated on you-"</p><p>"They were broken up, so technically he didn't cheat-" Sebastian interjects, then frowns and breaks off as if he can't believe he is actually defending Blaine.</p><p>"But it crushed him," Julian continues, glancing at his brother before turning back to Kurt. </p><p>"And believe me, Kurt, leaving Sebastian here, today- it will crush him, too. I know I am probably the very last person in the world to have any right to speak after what I did to Seb, but I am begging you, <em>please</em> don't hurt him like that. He doesn't deserve it. Despite the way you two started-"</p><p>"Jules," Sebastian cuts in.</p><p>"No, Seb, I get to be just as worried as you are! If Kurt takes Blaine back I'll hate myself forever, I have to-"</p><p>"JULIAN!" Sebastian shouts, a hint of anger tainting his voice now, and finally, it gets through to his brother, who shuts up and stares at him.</p><p>"I am not worried," Sebastian states. </p><p>"You're not?" Julian asks.</p><p>Sebastian shakes his head. "I know Kurt loves me. Blaine showing up here is not going to change that tonight. And...if I don't completely fuck things up, I hope nothing ever will."</p><p>Kurt offers him a small smile. Later, he'll frame this moment in his mind and put it with the others in his summer album - a memory to be treasured forever. For now, realizing just how far they have come is a little too overwhelming, so he pushes that thought away for later.</p><p>"He's right, Jules," he offers. "We came out here to make a containment plan to stop Blaine from crashing the wedding, not to renegotiate the terms of our relationship." He takes Sebastian's hand. "Blaine has lost his chance."</p><p>Julian stares at the both of them for a moment. "Good for you," he finally says. Then, they are interrupted once again, by a very stressed-looking Rachel. </p><p>"So much for not fucking it up," Sebastian mumbles under his breath, but Kurt shushes him. </p><p>"Kurt, I'm so sorry! He wouldn't listen! I told him you were busy- I mean, I even implied...you know-"</p><p>"That you were off fucking," Julian supplies with a grin. </p><p>"And let me guess," Kurt says drily, "that only spurred him on to go look for us?"</p><p>"Yes," Rachel says, lowering her voice and frowning. "What is <em>wrong </em>with that guy? He's more like...like..<em>Sebastian</em> than Sebastian!"</p><p>"Thanks," Sebastian says, but Rachel ignores him. </p><p>"I couldn't do it, Kurt, I had to tell him the truth. I couldn't have him thinking that you'd ever do such a thing-"</p><p>"Not until after we had cake, anyway," Sebastian comments idly, holding his hand up for his brother to high-five, and Rachel just gasps. </p><p>Kurt shakes his head. "It's fine, Rachel. But please go back to the party now. We don't want Olivia and Brian to notice. If making excuses for us doesn't work, you'll need to create a diversion until we've dealt with Blaine."</p><p>Rachel winces. "How will you...deal with him?" she asks, eyeing Sebastian again.</p><p>"Relax, we're not going to beat him up. I just want to talk to him, and explain everything," Kurt assures her.</p><p>Rachel lets out a deep breath and nods. Then, her eyes begin to sparkle. "A diversion, huh?" she says, and then eyes Julian. "Can you sing?"</p><p>Julian looks a little taken aback. "I was in the Warblers," he says, as if that says enough. </p><p>"Perfect," Rachel says, and grab his arm. "You and Cooper can be my back-up singers."</p><p>"Is she actually <em>skipping</em>?" Sebastian asks, watching Rachel pull Julian along by the hand while Julian looks back at them with a mildly horrified expression.</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Pushing herself into a solo <em>and</em> saving a wedding? It's the highlight of her week."</p><p>They watch them until they disappear through the tunnel of fairy lights and ivy, and then it feels like everything quiets down again. Kurt lets Sebastian's words echo in his head. </p><p>"You really aren't worried?" he finally asks. </p><p>Sebastian purses his lips and shrugs, like Kurt is asking him what he wants on his pizza. Then, his expression grows more serious and he takes Kurt's hand, running his thumb over his knuckles. "Should I be?"</p><p>Kurt quickly shakes his head, flipping his hand so he can interlace their fingers and squeeze Sebastian's hand. "If you love something, you hold onto it as tight as you fucking can, and you make damn sure it doesn't ever want to go."</p><p>Sebastian's eyes go stormy as he seems to connect the memory of his own words to what Kurt is trying to say. For a moment, Kurt thinks he is not going to reply at all. Then he offers Kurt a small smile and whispers: "Okay." </p><p>He pulls Kurt closer by his hand, wrapping his arms tightly around him and kissing him hard, like Kurt's words were literal, and a challenge - but it's exactly what Kurt needs right now, the physical, almost bruising assurance that they are both holding on, no matter what. </p><p>He kisses Sebastian back, bringing his hands up to clutch at his shoulders. Everything around them fades to the background- the noise from the party, the excitement of the day- all that's left is Sebastian, their kiss, and the ever growing need to be even closer than their current location and state of dress allow.</p><p>A pair of headlights turn up the driveway to the parking lot, briefly bathing them in a bright white glare, and for a moment Kurt feels oddly disconnected from reality. It feels like they are on stage, in a spotlight of their own, placed at that exact point for a reason. Gravel crunches as the car rolls up.</p><p>The roar of the engine dies down to a purr; muted conversation and the slam of a car door make Kurt realize the next act has started. He pulls back from Sebastian's lips, looking up into his eyes, and as Sebastian gives him a small nod, they part, though Sebastian does not stray far. He remains in the shine of the headlights, their spotlight.</p><p>A lone figure comes towards them. As he passes the side of the car, he is illuminated from behind. Kurt could pick out that silhouette, that gait, anywhere.</p><p>He comes into focus. Blaine looks tired, his eyes a little puffy, his normally so well-tended clothes rumpled from his flight. Locks of curly hair have come undone from his styled pompadour and hang limply down his forehead. </p><p>It takes Kurt all of three seconds to remember <em>everything</em>. A tsunami of memories washes over him, from their first meeting at the Dalton staircase to their dance at prom, all of the times they've made love, shared kisses and I-love-you's. With a sharp, painful sting, Kurt <em>aches.</em> He aches for those memories with an unexpectedly deep longing crashing through his entire body like waves hitting rocks on the shore, eroding his heart and nearly cutting off his breath. Seeing Blaine like this, knowing it's because of him; is killing him a little. He longs to make it alright, to cup Blaine's soft chin in his hand and kiss his eyelids, to straighten his jacket and brush the hair from his face. But then other memories come back too. </p><p>
  <em>‘But we are together!'
‘We are, but I think come summer time we shouldn't be.'</em>
</p><p>His world turned upside down. Everything he had taken for granted up until that moment- New York, them,<em> KurtandBlaine</em> - ripped away like a bandaid.</p><p>"Hey," Blaine says, pulling him back to the present, and Kurt feels his muscles go rigid, coiling like a spring ready to jump, and he has to work hard to repress his body from reacting to the sound of his voice.</p><p>"Hey," he replies, far more calm than he feels. </p><p>"When I imagined this moment, it was never here, or like this," Blaine admits softly.</p><p>Kurt really feels that, because of course he has imagined the moment of their glorious reunion too- even if he was hurt and angry and numb, he had that one blade of grass to clutch: it would play out in front of his eyes like an old Hollywood movie. ‘August 28th, at Columbus Airport'...it was slow-motion, usually, sometimes even black and white, a Marlene Dietrich song playing in the background. </p><p>"I know, this is weird. We're in full color," he jokes nervously. </p><p>Blaine frowns a little. "I meant, we're in Pennsylvania, at the wedding of your-" He glances at Sebastian and swallows. He seems to struggle to go on. "Of <em>his</em> sister."</p><p>"Blaine," Kurt breathes, and he doesn't know how to express everything at once - that he's sorry, but also isn't? That he missed Blaine, but also didn't? </p><p>
  <em>‘We'll both be so busy we probably won't even have time to miss each other'</em>
</p><p>Blaine couldn't have been more wrong- not at first, anyway. Kurt started missing him the second after that conversation in May, all through his final weeks of school, and for weeks after Blaine had left, every single moment he wasn't actively trying to compartmentalize, Kurt missed him so much he could hardly breathe. </p><p>And then, somehow, breathing became easier...around Sebastian. ‘I miss you every day and night' became ‘a few times a day', became ‘every now and then'. If Kurt thinks back at his time at the beach house, he can only recall missing Blaine once or twice - and he does not recall missing him at all after that.</p><p>"I don't understand," Blaine whispers. "I thought we were forever."</p><p>"Me too," Kurt admits, and the mere mention of that word brings back so much bitterness that he cannot stop himself from adding: "only in your case, <em>forever </em>only lasted nine days."</p><p>Blaine's jaw drops and he gives Kurt such an incredulous, hurt look that Kurt almost wishes he could take it back. But it's not <em>his </em>fault, it was never <em>his </em>decision, even if Blaine had tried to convince everyone they both wanted it - and so he doesn't take it back, and holds his ground.</p><p>"How can you say that?" Blaine whispers, his eyes large and slowly filling with tears. </p><p>"How could you <em>do</em> that?" Kurt replies, steeling himself. He doesn't have enough tears left to weep after how many he has shed hearing Cooper's words - maybe now it is Blaine's turn. </p><p>Blaine shakes his head. "I didn't mean to, Kurt, you have to understand! It was that place. They have such a big community, it was like our entire group at camp was queer and they were all so <em>out there</em>, there were parties, and I just-" His breath hitches. </p><p>Kurt feels himself grow colder. He half-expects Blaine to say something like how much he loved it, how they were all <em>oh so</em> artistic and spontaneous and it was all so much better than Ohio (and Kurt) could ever be, but then-</p><p>"I felt so out of place," Blaine admits. "I didn't know what to do without you at my side. I was so lonely, and I missed you like crazy, and then I made the stupid decision to get really, really drunk to try and fit in..."</p><p>Kurt represses a shudder, because he knows that feeling far too well. Suddenly he feels cold for a whole other reason.</p><p>Blaine pauses. "This guy came on to me, and I just- I don't know. I let it happen." </p><p>Kurt clasps a hand over his lips. "Did he-" he starts, but Blaine immediately shakes his head.</p><p>"No! No, nothing like that. I wasn't <em>that</em> drunk. I could have said no, but I didn't. I...thought I wanted it. I messed up. As soon as it was over, I felt terrible. I still feel..." He swallows hard. "Kind of sick when I think about it, actually."</p><p><em>As soon as it was over.</em> That implies that he <em>didn't </em>feel terrible while it was going on, didn't it? Did he enjoy it? Did the guy make him feel good, (better than Kurt?) He can't ask. He's not even sure he wants to know. </p><p>"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I <em>hate</em> that it happened," Blaine continues, then shakes his head and frowns. "I hate that I did it," he corrects himself, and despite the knife currently twisting in Kurt's heart, he has to give Blaine credit for admitting he had agency, and it was not something that happened <em>to </em>him, like an earthquake or a tornado. "I should have said no. I would do <em>anything </em>to turn back time." </p><p>"Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt asks, feeling hollow. A tear is rolling down his face. </p><p>"I didn't know how," Blaine admits. "I was afraid you'd be angry, that you'd-" he breaks off and shrugs awkwardly. "That you'd never forgive me."</p><p>Kurt presses his lips together into a thin line. "I would have forgiven just about anything if you'd just been honest with me, Blaine," he admits, shrugging helplessly. </p><p>"So you got drunk and made a mistake. We've been there together before." He looks into Blaine's eyes, knowing he remembers that night at Scandals. "But you chose to <em>hide </em>it from me, and say nothing…for weeks. Would you even have told me at all if Cooper hadn't tattled?"</p><p>Blaine frowns, looking a bit desperate. "I...of course, I-" then something hardens in his face. </p><p>"But <em>you </em>didn't tell me about <em>him</em> either. Did you ever think about how it would feel for me to find out on Facebook with everyone else? Didn't I deserve a little warning?"</p><p>Kurt lets out a humorless laugh. "Do you think I haven't tried? You didn't want any contact, remember?" He shakes his head. </p><p>"I reached out to you over and over again those first weeks, needing to hear your voice, needing the reassurance that you would come back to me, that I wasn't a fool for waiting and putting my life on pause for you. You had plenty of warnings, but you chose to ignore them." </p><p>Blaine gives him a crestfallen look. "Would it have made a difference?" he asks defeatedly. </p><p>Kurt closes his eyes, spilling the tears that have gathered in them because he doesn't know. There was a time where he would have said <em>yes</em>- yes, Blaine could have called him back from that brink, could have stopped him from falling for Sebastian because Kurt has always been nothing if not loyal- but is that really true? If being with Sebastian feels <em>this </em>right, could anything have stopped it from happening? And - would he have wanted it to?</p><p>"Maybe," he says softly, his voice troubled. "Or maybe not."</p><p>Blaine's eyes flit to Sebastian, his eyebrows pulling together in a frustrated frown. "I thought we were friends," he says accusingly.</p><p>Sebastian takes a step forward and crosses his arms over his chest. "So? <em>You</em> broke up with him. He was fair game. And I have to say, you really dropped the ball there, Anderson. I hope your one-night stand was worth losing the best thing you ever had. Because he's definitely the best <em>I</em> ever had...over and over again."</p><p>Blaine scoffs, wrinkling his nose in disgust.</p><p>Kurt feels his stomach drop, because although Blaine probably thinks this sounds just like the Sebastian he knows - it is not really him. Sebastian is putting up a front, making it easier for Blaine to hate him, to shift the blame onto him to take it away from Kurt. In his own, harsh way, he is trying to protect Kurt.</p><p>"No," Kurt says decisively, "it's not Sebastian's fault. Hearing about you from Cooper made up my mind," he admits, "but I already wanted to be with him before that."</p><p>Blaine's attention turns back to him. "Why?" he finally asks simply. There's so much in that single word- why, when they both know of Sebastian's reputation and how he acted towards them in school, how he nearly blinded Blaine, how he intended to blackmail Finn? </p><p>Kurt sighs, and glances at Sebastian, who offers him an apologetic smile. "Because I fell in love with him," he admits, looking into Sebastian's eyes. "He makes me happy." </p><p>Sebastian drops his cocky pose and takes Kurt's hand, squeezing it softly before turning to face Kurt's ex. </p><p>"Neither of us planned for this, Blaine," he says, far more gently than before. "But while, as a friend, I am sorry that this is hurting you, I am <em>not </em>sorry it happened." </p><p>Blaine nods almost imperceptibly, giving them both a resigned look.</p><p>"I...I want you to be happy, Kurt," he whispers. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the one."</p><p>Kurt cocks his head and presses his lips into a sad smile. "You <em>were</em>, Blaine. And I will always cherish that time. But sometimes, things change. People change. I am not the boy you left anymore."</p><p>Blaine nods. "I can see that." </p><p>He looks up at Sebastian and opens his mouth to say something, but then changes his mind, shaking his head a little. Kurt can see he is struggling. </p><p>"I need some time for this," Blaine admits. "I <em>want </em>to be happy for you, but-"</p><p>"That's okay," Sebastian says gently. "Do you wanna come back with us, have a drink? I mean, it sounds like there's a party going on out there." He nods to the garden. </p><p>Blaine hesitates, briefly glancing at the cab that is waiting for him. He looks like he'd rather run and lick his wounds somewhere out of sight.</p><p>"Cooper's here too," Kurt offers.</p><p>"<em>Cooper</em>?" Blaine repeats incredulously, looking visibly thrown. "Why?"</p><p>"I think you two have a few things to talk about," Kurt says, feeling it's something that he should probably hear from his own brother.</p><p>"Um...Okay," Blaine says, sounding a little unsure. "I'll just...I should pay the driver first."</p><p>"I'll take care of it," Sebastian offers. "You two go on, I'll be right behind."</p><p>Kurt shoots him a grateful look. He really isn't worried, is he? Not that he should be- but Sebastian is really handling this with a poise he himself hopes to have one day, should they run into one of his exes. Or Micha.</p><p>It makes Kurt feel a little conflicted. He is proud that his boyfriend has the emotional maturity to know Blaine isn't going to make a move while he has his back turned, but at the same time, all of the movies and tv shows Kurt has seen in his impressionable youth taught him that jealousy is a sign of love, and a tiny little voice nags in the back of his head: <em>why isn't Sebastian more jealous?</em></p><p>Before he can think too hard on it, Blaine takes his arm- a gesture that feels so normal that Kurt just goes along with it, looping his arm around Blaine's and adjusting his steps to match his. Blaine's eyes go wide at the entry to the garden and the fairy lights.</p><p>"This is amazing," he whispers. </p><p>"I know," Kurt says, excited to have his friend by his side to show off what he has done. "And you haven't even seen the rest yet."</p><p>*****</p><p>By the time they reach the dance floor, Kurt has told him all about Olivia and Brian, their venue burning down, the frantic search for a new location, and everything else that happened the past few days. To his credit, Blaine listens raptly, only every now and then losing himself in thought as he ends up staring at Kurt's lips and Kurt has to gently pull him back to the conversation. </p><p>"Kurt! There you are!" Olivia exclaims happily, letting go of Greg with a little curtsey. She has changed into an off-white, A-line cocktail dress and is looking beautiful. "I want my dance!" She holds out her hand to try and beckon him to the dance floor. </p><p>"Liv, this is Blaine, Cooper's brother," Kurt introduces them. "He just arrived."</p><p>"Oh! Hello," Olivia says, graciously declining a dance to her uncle as she makes her way towards them. "I'm sorry, I got a little caught up. Hi, I'm Olivia Sm-" She pauses, her mouth hanging open. She looks at Kurt, who grins at her. </p><p>"Olivia <em>Wilton</em>," she corrects herself, squeaks a little giddily and holds out her hand. "Sorry, Blaine, I need to practise."</p><p>"It's nice to meet you, Olivia," Blaine offers politely, taking her hand, "And congratulations on your wedding! Kurt has told me all about it. I have never seen a more beautiful place, or a more beautiful bride. You look-" He breaks off and stares at her.</p><p>"Yes?" Olivia asks, cocking her head.</p><p>"That is the best replica of the Mike Todd necklace I have ever seen," Blaine lets out in awe.</p><p>Kurt smirks and leans closer, bringing his mouth to Blaine's ear. "It's the real thing," he whispers.</p><p>Blaine pulls back, letting go of Olivia's hand and turning to stare at Kurt in shock. "Holy shit!"</p><p>"I know!" Kurt lets out, his voice rising in pitch. </p><p>With his mouth hanging slack, Blaine turns back to face Olivia. "I never thought I'd see it in real life. Can I...I mean, may I...touch it?" he whispers reverently. </p><p>Olivia smiles indulgently. "Sure." She lifts her chin and Blaine steps closer. He carefully lifts his hand, holds still for a moment, and then lightly caresses the stones. "Kurt…" he says, his eyes still fixed on the necklace, "I am one degree away from Elizabeth Taylor."</p><p>"And only two away from James Dean," Kurt adds dreamily. How he missed this - how he missed having his best friend to share this with. </p><p>
After a moment, Blaine drops his hand. He's blushing fiercely. "Thank you," he says. "It's beautiful. By comparison, I am-" He looks down on his rumpled appearance bashfully. "I'm sorry, I'm fresh from my flight. I didn't exactly pack for a wedding."</p><p>Olivia sighs sympathetically. "I understand. I guess you and Coop want to talk, huh? He's over there by the bar. I'm not sure where Jules is." She looks around, her eyes searching. </p><p>Figuring that maybe it'll be easier for Blaine to talk to his brother without his loud and outspoken boyfriend, Kurt quickly takes his arm again. </p><p>"I'll take him," he tells Olivia, "and then I am coming over for my dance!"</p><p>"Who's <em>Jules</em>?" Blaine asks as Kurt leads him to the bar. "And why does everyone keep insisting Cooper and I talk?"</p><p>Then Cooper catches sight of them, and his jaw drops. He crosses the distance between them with two long strides and then stops. He looks over his brother's outfit, and then glances at Kurt, who is still holding Blaine's arm.</p><p>"Sebastian?" he asks hesitantly.</p><p>"Just paying for Blaine's cab. He'll be here in a minute," Kurt assures him. "He's...we're okay."</p><p>Cooper's eyes go back to his little brother, who dutifully nods. Without further questions, Cooper opens his arms and Blaine steps into them, accepting a hug from his big brother. His shoulders shake a little.</p><p>Behind his back, Kurt mimes going back to the dancefloor, and Cooper nods. Kurt knows they'll be okay. Then he sees Julian and Sebastian walking up together, and quickens his steps to catch them before they interrupt the pair. </p><p>"Are you okay, Kurt?" Julian asks. </p><p>Kurt nods. "Surprisingly, I am," he admits. "But let's give them some time. I don't think Blaine knows anything about the two of you."</p><p>Julian nods. "No, I guess he wouldn't," he replies pensively. </p><p>"Do you wanna dance?" Sebastian offers. </p><p>Kurt pulls his eyes away from Cooper and Blaine and looks back at his boyfriend. "I do," he says, "but later. I have promised your sister, first."</p><p>"Hey, you also promised me!" Julian reminds him playfully.</p><p>"I need more drinks for that," Kurt jokes idly, and leaves the two brothers standing by the dance floor as he goes for his dance with the bride. </p><p>Kurt leads Olivia back to the dance floor, and they take up positions for a Foxtrot.</p><p>"I am having the best time of my life," Olivia whispers into his ear, squeezing his hands. Kurt sighs happily.</p><p>"Is it everything you hoped it would be?" he asks, as he holds up their arms for her to spin. </p><p>"Yes!" she exclaims happily. "Everything and more! Those speeches, and Julian's artwork! Oh my god, it's so amazing!"</p><p>"It really is," Kurt agrees. "Do you know where you'll put it yet?"</p><p>Olivia smiles. "I am thinking maybe it should travel, like an exhibition piece. I want it in my home, of course, but I was also thinking we could lend it to Brian's office- so many people come through there, and if they see it, I just know some of them will want to commission Julian for a piece! Some of our guests have already put in requests, too."</p><p>"That's an amazing idea!" Kurt says happily. He really thinks Julian could make a good career out of this if he wanted to, and he loves Olivia for already thinking of ways to give him exposure on her own wedding day.</p><p>He glances at the side of the dance floor, where Cooper and Blaine are sitting. Julian and Sebastian have joined them, and they are still talking. Olivia follows his eyes.</p><p>"I really hope Cooper and Blaine will be okay," she says sympathetically. "I feel so awful for what their parents did."</p><p>"Me too," Kurt says. "But they are not alone. We'll work things out."</p><p>"Yes," Olivia agrees. "Just like we worked this wedding out."</p><p>"Exactly," Kurt agrees.</p><p>They finish the dance, and Kurt can tell the talk between Cooper and Blaine is drawing to an end. He bows his head and thanks Olivia for the dance. Another member of her extended family immediately comes to take over from him, so he heads towards the edge of the dance floor. </p><p>Blaine catches his eye, and starts towards him. Cooper exchanges a few words with Julian and then follows, hovering in the back to give them some privacy.</p><p>"I'm gonna go," Blaine announces. "But can I talk to you for just one moment?"</p><p>"Of course," Kurt immediately agrees. They move away from the dance floor and the crowd. Kurt can tell Blaine is still upset, but he's trying to keep it together- probably for the sake of the party, but also a little for himself. He takes Blaine's hand.</p><p>"I feel like my whole world has turned upside down," Blaine admits, looking down on their hands. "You're with someone else, Cooper has a boyfriend…All of the stuff that happened…" He looks up, his amber eyes bright with tears. </p><p>"I can't believe my parents kept this from me! They always told me Coop had gotten himself in trouble in school, making me think it was about some kind of prank that had gotten out of hand!"</p><p>Kurt nods, feeling for him. He can't imagine how betrayed Blaine must be feeling to have found he had been lied to for so long. "I guess Cooper was trying to protect you by not telling you what they did," he offers. "You were so young, it's not like you could have moved out."</p><p>Blaine nods, his lip trembling. "That's what he told me," he whispers. "He said that's why he left and moved to California. He had hoped that without him there, they'd give me a fair chance."</p><p>He sighs deeply. "But you know, I realized something," he continues. "I thought my dad had given up trying to get me to change, that we had reached a point where he had accepted me the way I am… I thought that picking out that summer camp in San Francisco for me was his way of showing me that he understood my interests. But…" He takes a deep breath. </p><p>"It was also around that time that he kept mentioning that maybe I had been thinking too small, that I was letting myself become too fixed on following you to NYADA and New York. That the world was a big place and everywhere had things to offer, and that I was only seventeen and shouldn't let myself be tied down- Kurt, I think, in retrospect-"</p><p>"That he was trying to put the idea in your head to leave me?" Kurt whispers, connecting the dots. "And go to San Francisco...sow your wild oats, and return a new Blaine?" He can't help but think of Mr Smythe sr, who had also assumed Sebastian was just going through some phase.</p><p>Blaine nods. "And I did it," he continued. "I did what they wanted, and it felt good, because I thought it was the best for both of us-" He breaks off. "It felt like it was my own idea," he admits quietly.</p><p>"I think that's how it works when people manipulate you," Kurt says gently. "You can't blame yourself for that. They are your parents, and you love them- you had no reason to assume they didn't have your best interest at heart. Maybe in their own mind, they did."</p><p>"If only I had known what they had done to Cooper, then maybe I could have seen what they were trying to do to me!" Blaine says bitterly, his anger rising a little. Kurt can tell in his eyes, the little crease between his eyebrows, the hardening of his jaw. Then Blaine shakes his head, and it bleeds out of him - Kurt is not the one he is angry with.</p><p>"I know that I am still responsible for what I did," Blaine admits, frowning. "I shouldn't have listened, I shouldn't have let them put these ideas in my head- but most of all, I shouldn't have slept with someone else because I was missing you."</p><p>Kurt swallows hard. "I understand why you did," he admits. He has been so close a few times...intoxication and need, attraction and loneliness- all of those mixed together make it very hard to resist temptation. Luckily for him, it was Sebastian who resisted for him. </p><p>Kurt sees Blaine's eyes go wide and quickly shakes his head. "I didn't," he adds. "We waited-"</p><p>Blaine scoffs. "<em>Sebastian</em> waited?" he asks, sounding a little incredulous. "<em>More</em> than twenty minutes?"</p><p>"Yes," Kurt says, knowing he needs to be patient with him. Had he heard the same story half a year ago, he would have scoffed too. "He isn't really like that once you get to know him. I mean, maybe he <em>was</em>, but not anymore. He changed." <em>For me</em>, he adds in his head, but he doesn't want to rub it in.</p><p>"Rachel said so too," Blaine admits, "but I thought she was just trying to soften the blow."</p><p>"Do you really think I'd be with someone who treats his partners like that?" Kurt asks gently. </p><p>"I thought maybe...it was revenge. For me leaving."</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. They have seen too many movies with that exact plot to know that revenge like that never works. He would only have ended up hurting himself- or falling in love with the person he'd choose to inscenerate the revenge with, which is...kind of exactly what happened, but that's beside the point. The point is that Kurt would never throw himself away having sex with a random person to hurt someone he loved. His dad taught him well.</p><p>"You know me better than that, Blaine." </p><p>Blaine nods. "I do." He lets out a deep sigh. "If you chose him, he has to have some redeeming qualities."</p><p>"He does," Kurt assures him. Elaborating will only hurt Blaine, so he doesn't. </p><p>"I'm glad," Blaine offers. "I really do want you to be happy. You deserve that."</p><p>"So do you," Kurt says, then pauses. "Where will you go now? Home?" </p><p>Blaine nods grimly. "I have to. I need to hear the story from my parents. I want to know what they have to say for themselves." </p><p>He looks over his shoulder at Cooper, who has been joined by Julian. They are talking quietly. </p><p>"Julian seems nice," he says. </p><p>Kurt nods. </p><p>"Coop said that they've been discussing getting an apartment together in Ohio," Blaine continues. "That way he can be around for my senior year, and he said that if I wanted, I could move in with them until graduation. If...the talk with my parents doesn't go well and they kick me out too." He raises his chin defiantly. "Or if I choose to leave."</p><p>Kurt looks at Cooper and Julian and feels his heart grow light. He knew there had been more going on in that hotel room than just catching up on seven years of physical distance. They had been making a plan, and they had included Cooper's little brother in it, too.</p><p>"Cooper said he was going to tell me everything and ask me when I got back on Tuesday," Blaine adds. "I kind of jumped the gun by showing up here." He offers Kurt a shy smile. </p><p>"I just wanted to see you, Kurt. To tell you I am sorry in person and make sure you were okay." If he had planned to try and get Kurt back, he doesn't say it- and Kurt is grateful for it.</p><p>"I am sorry too. You hurt me, a lot, but I never wanted you to feel like this." </p><p>Kurt pauses and thinks about Blaine going back home. He doesn't really want to let him go back to those people, who will likely hurt him the way they hurt Cooper. </p><p>"Why don't you stay?" he asks. "It's late. In the morning, we can all go back together. I'm sure Greg and Charlotte would be willing-" He breaks off when Blaine shakes his head.</p><p>"Thank you, but I need to do this by myself. Seeing you here, making sure you're okay...it was enough for now. You belong here, Kurt. I can feel it. You didn't just get a new boyfriend, you got a whole new family who love you." He hesitates. "I'm sorry, it's yet another thing I couldn't offer you. I know my family was never kind to you."</p><p>"Don't," Kurt says sternly. "You are not responsible for the way your parents treated me. And hey, I've still got you and Cooper, right?" He gives Blaine a pleading look. "Can we still be friends?"</p><p>Blaine nods, closing his eyes tightly. Kurt gives him a moment. "Maybe-" Blaine starts as he has gathered himself, then clears his throat. "Maybe in a little while, okay? For now, I just need some time to...adjust."</p><p>"I will be here," Kurt promises. "Take all the time you need." </p><p>He opens his arms, and Blaine steps into them, briefly clinging tightly to Kurt before letting go. Then he looks up into Kurt's eyes, and Kurt feels what he is about to say, and he <em>can't.</em></p><p>"No goodbyes, remember?" he whispers. "I'll see you soon."</p><p>Blaine presses his lips together, sealing in a sob that Kurt feels in the shake of his shoulders. Blaine nods, then steps away. </p><p>Cooper comes up to them and puts his arm around his brother. "I'll see him to the airport safely," he promises. </p><p>"Thank you, Cooper," Kurt says. They walk away together, and Julian comes up to Kurt, watching them go.</p><p>"He'll be back," he says, as if he's reminding himself. </p><p>"Of course," Kurt agrees. Then, he decides he hasn't teased Julian in a long while, and he really needs something to alleviate the mood. </p><p> "So...what's this I hear, you're settling down? Picked out curtains yet? I hope you're one for doing dishes because I somehow don't really see Cooper do that…"</p><p>Julian winces and makes a face. "Not so loud, please, you'll ruin my reputation!"</p><p>"Oh, the Smythe boys, always so worried about their precious reputation," Kurt says fondly, then grows serious. "I think it's really good of you to offer to help Blaine out."</p><p>Julian shrugs self consciously. "He'll have to get noise-cancelling headphones," he says drily, "but...yeah. I feel bad for Blainers. I think it's time for him to get some real guidance so his parents don't screw him up." He smirks. "Maybe this is like the second chance I never deserved."</p><p>Kurt chuckles. "Well, a word of advice- don't hit on his next boyfriends. But I think you learned that lesson already."</p><p>"I did," Julian says dutifully. "As you may have noticed, I haven't hit on you <em>all </em>day, despite your ass looking<em> in-cre-di-ble </em>in that suit and your hair being completely on point."</p><p>"My hair is always on point," Kurt replies. Then, his eyes catch Sebastian, who is dancing with his mother, and an idea forms in his head. "If you behave until Cooper gets back, I may have a little reward for you."</p><p>"Oh yeah?" Julian says, his eyes glittering. "What is it?"</p><p>"A surprise," Kurt promises mysteriously.</p><p>When Cooper returns, however, there is one surprise that needs to be dealt with first, and it is not for Julian, but for Olivia.</p><p>*****</p><p>Brian takes the microphone and the DJ stops the music. The crowd quiets down. He looks happy and flushed, a little jittery maybe, but mostly just excited. Kurt can barely contain his grin. He squeezes Sebastian's hand tightly, feeling a little nervous himself.</p><p>"Thank you, everyone, for your attention- thank you for being here and celebrating this wonderful party with us. My wife and I-"</p><p>Julian whistles loudly through his teeth again and a few people cheer and laugh. </p><p>"-I know, right?" Brian agrees, letting air from puffed cheeks as he looks around, showing everyone he knows exactly how lucky he is to be calling Olivia his wife. "We're extremely happy that you made it here to this beautiful, dreamlike, fairytale...wonderland."</p><p>"He's a few drinks in, isn't he," Sebastian whispers in Kurt's ear, and Kurt<em> shhes</em> him.</p><p>"Can you imagine there was a time where Livvie dreamed of marrying someone else?" Brian continues, leaving a dramatic pause, and Kurt actually feels that he's doing this part of the speech quite well, drinks or not- of course, that's probably because he knows what is coming. </p><p>Olivia is frowning from her seat by the dance floor, making a mock-exasperated face at him. She doesn't know what's coming, but Kurt can tell she trusts him that it won't be <em>too </em>embarrassing.</p><p>"That's right," Brian continues. "There was a time when all of her dreams were populated by other guys - such as Nick, Brian, Kevin, AJ and Howie…"</p><p>Several of the women have caught on and start cheering. </p><p>"And those weren't even all! There was Nicky and Shane, and Kian... Daniel, Darren..."</p><p>Olivia is clasping her hands over her face, her shoulders shaking with laughter. </p><p>"I thought it would be a nice surprise to invite these guys here tonight to see what they're missing-"</p><p>Olivia looks up sharply, her eyes going wide. She scans the crowd until Brain lowers his head in mock sadness.</p><p>"I'm sorry, my darling, none of them showed up. That's rockstars for you, huh?" </p><p>Brian chuckles, and Olivia shakes his head at him, wagging her finger. Her friends all awwwww disappointedly. </p><p>"However," Brian adds, "now that I have a few drinks in my system, I think I'm brave enough to show you that I can do <em>anything</em> those guys can do, and thankfully I have a group of ex-Warblers to back me up. So, be prepared to be swept off your feet." </p><p>He grins goofily and raises the microphone to his lips.</p><p>
  <em>‘You are my fire</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The one desire…'</em>
</p><p>Olivia cringes and laughs at the same time- clapping her hands with glee.</p><p>
  <em>‘Believe when I say…'</em>
</p><p>Olivia and the bridesmaids get ready to sing along, but then Julian joins Brian on stage for a harmony, and as they seamlessly switch songs, the women realize it's not just going to be the iconic Backstreet boys song - it's a medley.</p><p>
  <em>‘...I'll never break your heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'll never make you cry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'd rather die than live without you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'll give you all of me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Honey, that's no lie-'</em>
</p><p>Kurt sighs. He has heard Julian sing before, but that was all just improvised, campfire tunes. This is a well-rehearsed song, and he's doing a difficult layering background vocal, lifting Brian's voice until they sound amazing. </p><p><em>‘And I swear-' </em>Brian sings, his voice straining a little, <em>‘I swear,'</em> Cooper adds in a deep honey-soft voice, walking up from the side with a wireless headset clipped to his ear. Olivia gasps. </p><p>
  <em>‘-by the moon and the stars in the sky, I'll be there (I'll be there)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I swear like a shadow that's by your side, I'll be there</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For better or worse, till death do us part</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'll love you with every beat of my heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I swear -' </em>
</p><p>Sebastian releases Kurt's hand and steps onto the stage for his solo. Kurt can feel his heart beat fast, knowing that Sebastian was nervous as well, but you would never be able to tell if you saw him now. He smiles broadly at his sister as he takes the lead, the other boys singing his backup.</p><p>
  <em>‘I'm never gonna say goodbye- ‘cause I never wanna see you cry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I swore to you my love would remain</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I swear it all over again and I</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm never gonna treat you bad - ‘cause I never wanna see you sad</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I swore to share your joy and your pain</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And -'</em>
</p><p>Tension and nerves slide off of him, and on the last beat, Kurt clicks on his own wireless headset. </p><p>
  <em>‘I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need.'</em>
</p><p>Olivia turns around to face him- she doesn't even know where to look first, and it's clear from the look in her eyes that she is overwhelmed with joy. Kurt and Cooper were not in the boys' original plans, but as Julian and Brian started a little alcohol-fuelled discussion about the more difficult lines at the bachelor party, Kurt had quickly offered to take them. Cooper, in turn, had eagerly accepted to add his unique voice when he joined Julian the day after. It had only taken a few dry runs in the morning after breakfast to get it all coordinated.</p><p>
  <em>‘I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause-'</em>
</p><p>Cooper takes over from Kurt with another of Olivia's favourites, mimicking Ronan's accent a little too thickly so that he ends up sounding a bit like Rory, but Kurt knows that apart from him, no one will notice. </p><p>
  <em>‘The smile on your face let's me know that you need me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall'</em>
</p><p>Kurt adds some more Savage Garden, taking the lines that were too high for Julian or Sebastian to reach (let alone Brian), and tears of happiness are flowing freely from Olivia's face now.</p><p>
  <em>‘And in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think I've found my way home</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe…'</em>
</p><p>They go into the end, bringing the medley to a close by repeating lines from their respective solos, mixed to perfection - </p><p><em>"I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life," </em>Kurt croons, giving it his all. </p><p><em>"And ...I'll never break your heart, I'll never make you cry!" </em>Brian adds.</p><p><em>"And I swear (I swear), by the moon and the stars in the sky,'"</em>Julian and Cooper sing. </p><p><em>"I'm never gonna say goodbye-" </em>Sebastian reminds everyone, walking up to Kurt and taking his hand.</p><p><em>"I want to stand with you on a mountain," </em>Kurt sings, turning to face Sebastian.</p><p><em>"Tell me why!" </em>Julian intersects, playfully intense, gesturing for the audience to join in. </p><p><em>"I want to bathe with you in the sea," </em>Kurt and Sebastian sing to each other, pretending to ignore him. </p><p><em>"Teeeeeeell me why!" </em>Julian, Olivia and the bridesmaid yell, hilariously.</p><p><em>"I want to lay like this forever…</em> " Kurt and Sebastian sigh, in their own world.</p><p><em>"Tell me why!" </em>The whole audience sings along.</p><p>
  <em>"Until the sky falls down on me…"</em>
</p><p>Then, Brian steps in front of them and finishes the song with a completely straight face, his voice deadpan. </p><p>
  <em>"Cause I want it...that way."</em>
</p><p>The applause is deafening. Olivia rises from her seat and runs up to Brian, nearly bowling him over with a hug, and before they know it, she is hugging the others as well - a tiny, fiercely emotional woman nearly jumping up to reach all of their shoulders to wrap her arms around them, pressing her lips against their necks and whispering compliments. </p><p>"This is all I ever wanted," she nearly sobs as she reaches Kurt. "Thank you so much."</p><p>"It was Brian's idea," Kurt reminds her, "And Julian had already made all the arrangements. But I was honored to be a part of it."</p><p>Olivia grins widely and bounces on her tiptoes giggling.</p><p>From that moment, the party is made. The DJ picks up on the boyband vibe and starts mixing classic songs, getting everyone to the dance floor. From the corner of his eye, Kurt can see Julian walk up to him, a wide smirk on his face.</p><p>"I was very good," he reminds Kurt.</p><p>"Yes. Yes, you were," Kurt agrees, knowing what is coming.</p><p>"I want my surprise," Julian demands.</p><p>Kurt smirks. "Okay then, come here." He beckons him closer with a jerk of his head. </p><p>Julian narrows his eyes a little and steps closer, licking his lips. As he is standing right in front of him, Kurt runs his hand up the lapel of Julian's jacket, stopping at his shoulder and giving him the most intense look he can muster. </p><p>"For our dance," he says in a sultry voice, "<em>You</em> can pick the music." He pauses. "I will dance to anything you want. <em>Anything</em>."</p><p>Julian sucks in a breath, his eyes flicking from Kurt's hand on him back to his face, following Kurt's tongue as he wets his lips. Then, Kurt leans in closer to whisper in his ear. </p><p>"I'll even let you lead."</p><p>Julian lets out his trapped breath like a shudder, his hands coming up to Kurt's waist, and he squeezes for a moment as he gathers his bearings. Then he pulls away to look at Kurt.</p><p>"What about Sebastian?" he asks sceptically.</p><p>Kurt smiles. "I already cleared it with him. He's not feeling very threatened," he teases.</p><p>Julian's eyes glitter. "Yet!" he says, smirking. He is accepting the challenge alright. "I need to go talk to the DJ." He points at Kurt. "Don't go anywhere. You'll be mine soon."</p><p>Kurt winks, and watches as Julian hurries off. </p><p>He really had cleared it with Sebastian, who thought the whole idea was hilarious. Julian would probably pick something ridiculous like ‘I Wanna Sex You Up' or ‘Pony' - and they'd all have a good laugh about it. Sebastian knows Kurt will come back to him after the song- and Kurt gave him permission to make a show of trying to woo Cooper at the same time.</p><p>It doesn't take long for Julian to return. Sebastian has joined Kurt by now, and they both greet a very excited looking Julian. "Next song, you're up," he announces, looking at Kurt. "Prepare to be swept off your feet, sweetheart."</p><p>Kurt snorts. "Sure," he agrees pleasantly. He's curious what Julian has picked. The two brothers muster each other. </p><p>"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Julian asks Sebastian, sounding teasing and casually amused- but Kurt can see in his eyes that he is serious. "You must really trust Kurt."</p><p>Sebastian pulls up the corner of his mouth in a half-smile. "I do. But I also trust <em>you</em>, Jules. Go ahead, and make it scandalous. We have to give them all <em>something </em>to talk about."</p><p>Julian's smile broadens. "I can do that," he promises. </p><p>The current song comes to an end, and Julian straightens up. "This is it," he announces unnecessarily. Kurt nods, looking at the DJ expectantly, bracing himself for some explicit lyrics - or possibly the Lambada. </p><p>The DJ, however, announces that he is taking a short break, as the band will play a special request for the brother of the bride. Kurt's eyes flit to the stage. The <em>band</em>? </p><p>The singers have put their microphone stands away; one has taken up an accordion, and the other a violin. What is going on? When he turns back to Julian, he sees that he has taken off his jacket as well as his waistcoat, leaving him in his fitted shirt and snug black dress pants. Kurt swallows hard. </p><p>The music sets in, and Kurt panics. This is not what he signed up for.</p><p>"Jules, <em>no</em>! I can't! I...I don't know how to tango!" he lets out, his eyes wide, as Julian beckons him onto the dance floor with a crook of his finger and a smirk. A strong hand in his back pushes Kurt onto the floor - as he looks around, he sees it is Sebastian, Julian's jacket and waistcoat draped over his arm. He is looking a little <em>too</em> pleased. </p><p>"Watch your toes, babe," he says, his eyes glittering, and then Kurt stands there on his own, all eyes on him and Julian. The intensity of the music heightens, and the intro ends- Julian, his back long and his chest out, stalks towards him, the pointed toes of his shoes dragging over the wood in a sultry, almost lazy circle with each step. </p><p><em>This is it,</em> Kurt thinks.<em> I always knew I was going to die on stage, but I didn't think it would be before I even got to NYADA. Everyone's looking at me. The entire Pennsylvania social elite will judge my steps-</em></p><p>Julian comes to a halt in front of him, giving him an exaggerated once-over before taking one of his hands in his, curling his fingers around Kurt's palm slowly. "Don't think," he whispers, and takes Kurt's other hand as well. "I'll lead you through it."</p><p>At the next accent, he rips Kurt's arms up into a dancer's frame, holding them firmly up on shoulder level, his elbows out, and then steps forward to Kurt's side, coaxing him backward. The steps are quick, but before Kurt can protest, Julian's mouth is by his ear, talking him through it, counting softly, describing each move before he leads them through it-<em> four counts back, twist, return- Kurt, I am going to fan you out and pull you back, how far can you go down in a split?</em></p><p>Julian leads them through the same motive twice, and by the third time, Kurt has caught on and dares to improvise, lifting his leg, draping it over Julian's thigh as they both dip down for another pose. Someone whistles through their fingers - possibly Olivia, maybe even Charlotte. Kurt doesn't have time to look around. He is focused purely on Julian, his arms rigid, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.</p><p>"Who taught you to dance like this?" he mumbles, sidestepping.</p><p>"Micha," Julian replies, leading them to a simpler outline now, without extra figures. "He was a trained dance instructor before he...switched professions."</p><p>Kurt gives him a wide-eyed look. Julian doesn't seem opposed to talking about him, and they are so close right now, that Kurt feels daring enough to ask.</p><p>"Did you write him a letter as well?" he asks. Julian nods. They move through the room in measured steps.</p><p>"I didn't think he was going to reply," Julian admits. "It took him over a year."</p><p>Kurt swallows. "Was he mad?"</p><p>Julian shakes his head before twisting Kurt around on the spot and capturing him in his arms again. "He was in rehab. Like me, he decided to change his life around."</p><p>Kurt breathes out in relief. "Do you keep in touch?"</p><p>Julian pulls up the corner of his mouth a little self-consciously. "I'm not the world's best penpal," he admits, "but we text every once in a while. He ended up studying event management and started up his own firm. He lives in Berlin now as far as I know, in a civil partnership."</p><p>Kurt feels something bloom warmly in his chest. "I'm glad," he whispers. "Does Bas know?"</p><p>Julian frowns a little. "Yes. But Kurt…Micha would never come between you and Sebastian, married or not."</p><p>"I know. That's not why I am glad," Kurt says, and he splays his hand on Julian's chest at the next accent, pushing him away playfully before letting himself be caught again. "When Sebastian told me your story, I felt bad for him. I wanted him to be okay."</p><p>"He is. Maybe we should all go down some time and meet up," Julian suggests. "I'm sure he'd love to meet you."</p><p>Kurt smiles. "Me too."</p><p>Julian's hands tighten around him. "For the finale, I am gonna lift you up," he announces. "Like Dirty Dancing."</p><p>"NO!!" Kurt says loudly, and Julian laughs.</p><p>"Just kidding, babe." </p><p>He dips Kurt back for the last accent, and they freeze in that pose for a moment, both breathing hard. Then Julian pulls him back up under the thunderous applause of everyone watching. Julian holds up their joined hands in victory, and then brings Kurt's hand to his lips to kiss it. </p><p>A little dazed, Kurt lets himself be led off the dance floor and back to Sebastian as the band takes their bows, and the DJ starts up his club music again. </p><p>"That...was super hot," Sebastian says honestly, handing Julian his clothes back. He reaches for Kurt and plants a kiss on his lips, pressing in hard. "I think we need to take another dance course," he mumbles against Kurt's lips.</p><p>"Mm-mmm," Kurt agrees breathlessly. He wants to pull Sebastian into a dark corner <em>now</em>, but then he hears a familiar song intro. It's like the lure of a siren - and he feels the need to dance. When he turns around, he sees someone else has got it covered. Or rather...two of them.</p><p>"What...is going on?" Julian whispers, still standing next to them. The three of them watch with open mouths as Burt and Finn make their way to the middle of the floor, hands on their hips, and begin shaking them to the rhythm. </p><p>
  <em>‘All the Single Ladies…Put your hands up!'</em>
</p><p>Sebastian gasps, looking horrified and fascinated at the same time. </p><p>"What the hell is going on?" he whispers into Kurt's ear. "How come your family dances like this?"</p><p>"Welcome to the Hudmel family," Kurt says quizzically, clapping and cheering along as his dad and Finn get more and more backup dancers all following their lead. "Come on, let's join them!"</p><p>"Me? I'm not a <em>single lady</em>," Sebastian protests. </p><p>"Neither am I, let's do this!" Kurt urges, and takes his hand, dragging him onto the dance floor. </p><p>"This is fucking ridiculous," Sebastian curses, but at the same time, eyes Finn's feet carefully to see what he's doing. </p><p>"Better watch mine," Kurt says smugly. "Finn's got two left ones."</p><p>*****</p><p>Time, Kurt knows, has never been on his side this summer. The days and nights missing Blaine felt like eternity; the days on the beach with Sebastian passing by in a flash. The same is true for Olivia and Brian's wedding day.</p><p>All day, their world had seemed to exist in a different timezone; slipping away from them as they tried to get everything ready, slowing down as they waited for the guests to arrive so they could get started- then fast as lightning as one highlight surpassed the next - only to come to a screeching halt again for the talk with Blaine. And yet a whole day has gone by faster than any of them noticed, and suddenly, taxis have been ordered, goodbyes are being said, and the garden gradually empties and it is just a few family members and friends left as the first light of dawn is slowly coloring the night sky.</p><p>For the first time after what feels like <em>days</em>, Kurt sits down, finally taking the weight off his feet. His shoes held up everything the price promised, but even handmade Italian shoes feel heavy after a full day of last minute chores, solving crises, and last but not least, partying. </p><p>Now the party is slowly winding down, and he can feel his toes throb. He stretches them out under the table, crossing his ankles, and looks around at the party stragglers. At another table across the dance floor, he can see Cooper sitting down and talking to his dad and stepmom. Carole is holding Cooper's hand in hers, nodding empathically as Burt speaks, and he watches as his dad puts his hand on Cooper's shoulder. He can tell the moment the day's events are too much for Cooper and he breaks down. </p><p>Kurt almost rises to his feet again, but then he sees his dad's got it. He puts his arms around the other man, who is taller than he is, and hugs him tightly, continuing to talk. It is clear that Cooper does not just have his boyfriend's dad in his corner, but <em>his </em>dad as well- and between Greg and Burt, he knows Cooper and Blaine will be alright.</p><p>He averts his eyes to give them a private moment and looks at the other guests sitting scattered around tables, walking by the stream, or slow-dancing sleepily, not stopping their continuous sway as the music fades out and a new song starts.</p><p>
  <em>A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather-</em>
</p><p>Kurt watches as the bride and groom enter the dance floor. For the past hour, Olivia and Brian have been pulled away from each other every few minutes for goodbye nightcaps or last sage advice by well-meaning aunts, and now they are finally together again, just the two of them, to dance and enjoy the remnants of their party.</p><p>Kurt lets his eyes become unfocused as he thinks of their day. The ups, the downs- but mostly Sebastian. The way he looks in his suit. His happiness for his sister and new brother-in-law. The fierceness with which he defends those whom he loves, and the unique generosity he displayed to his former rival.</p><p>
  <em>I was praying that you and me might end up together-</em>
</p><p>"May I have this dance?"</p><p>Kurt sits up and looks around into the eyes of his lover. His suit a little worse for wear; his bowtie undone and the top two buttons of his shirt popped open, Sebastian holds out his hand, palm up. </p><p>Kurt doesn't need to think about it. "Yes," he says immediately, aching toes be damned, putting his hand in Sebastian's and rising to his feet. </p><p>Sebastian leads them to the dancefloor, and as the soft piano theme sets in, encloses Kurt in his arms. They don't try for steps; feeling each other close is all they need. They just shift their weight from one foot to the other to give it some semblance of a dance. </p><p>"Sorry it took me so long to get back to you," Sebastian says. "Carter and his buddies insisted on going for a swim and me and dad had to dissuade them from going skinny dipping."</p><p>Kurt wrinkles his nose. "That's actually really dangerous if they are that drunk," he mumbles pensively. </p><p>"I know. But they are all safely into cabs on their way back to the hotel now," Sebastian replies. "One can only hope it doesn't have a pool, but my dad said he'd call up to the staff ahead."</p><p>He leans in to rest his forehead against Kurt's. "I hurried back," he whispers. "I didn't want you to think I had snuck off with a waiter or something."</p><p>Kurt doesn't need a moment to think. "I wasn't worried," he says honestly. "I trust you."</p><p>They close their eyes and breathe out as one, swaying to the music. Kurt feels Sebastian's chest rise against his at every breath, his skin warm under his shirt. Everything around them ceases to exist; it is just them, their arms the outer perimeter of their world.</p><p>
  <em>I'm holding you closer than most - 'cause you are my heaven</em>
</p><p>Kurt opens his eyes to look at him, and he is just wondering if it would be okay to kiss him here, when he sees something swirl in the corner of his eyes.</p><p>Olivia and Brian are making the most of the almost empty dance floor. Kurt recognizes a few steps of the rhumba he learned with Sebastian, but they are doing many more fans and travelling steps than they ever managed, and he smiles fondly. They look incredible, like they were made to dance together - their eyes linked as their bodies sway and twist graciously towards and away from each other. "Look at your sister go," he whispers.</p><p>Sebastian turns his head to look at them and scoffs. "Show-offs," he mumbles, his hand tightening at the small of Kurt's back. The bridge of the song comes on, and suddenly, Sebastian spins them and dips Kurt back with a swooping motion. </p><p>Kurt yelps and grapples to hold on to Sebastian's shoulders, but years of muscle memory make him elongate his back and stretch a leg up, making it look intentional and holding the pose for a moment before Sebastian pulls him back up. </p><p>"Are you crazy?" he whispers urgently as he finds his feet again. His heart is pounding and he can feel his face flushing. "You nearly dropped me!" </p><p>"Never," Sebastian replies, his voice a little hoarse, his pupils blown so wide Kurt is nearly drowning in the stormy dark. "Never," he repeats strongly, and then he is kissing him, and Kurt doesn't mind they are in the middle of a dance floor - adrenaline is still surging through his system and he kisses him back fervently, wanting all of this, and never, ever wanting to let go. </p><p>
Above their heads, over the water, fireworks begin to explode, lighting up the sky in sparkling stars and bursts of reds, green and blues. </p><p>It is one of these moments where once again, everything changes; and it's the moment they will both remember most from this summer, where everything finally feels completely<em> right.</em> It is the exact moment they can both put a name to, and no matter how many more changes are to come, this is the one that will help them decide to face them together.</p><p>
  <em>It's just a drop in the ocean</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A change in the weather -</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And heaven does not seem far away anymore - no...</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wedding playlist part 2:<br/>[Brian’s Boyband Medley]<br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=15">“I Want It That Way”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDcCSiakaU4&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=70">“I’ll never Break Your Heart” </a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25rL-ooWICU&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=41">“I swear”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRdv7lDoqIo&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=53">“Swear It Again”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQnAxOQxQIU&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=15">“Truly Madly Deeply”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IobNcpiwpSc&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=48">“When You Say Nothing At All”</a><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjnmICxvoVY&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=88">“I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You”</a><br/>[Kurt &amp; Olivia]  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZq9BwHhqFQ">Foxtrot “Dream A Little Dream”</a><br/>[Kurt &amp; Julian]  <a href="https://youtu.be/onynuHmBUmQ?t=12">Instrumental Tango</a><br/>[Burt &amp; Finn]  <a href="https://youtu.be/mrADMsXYUq0?t=77">“Single Ladies”</a><br/>[Kurt &amp; Sebastian]  <a href="https://youtu.be/mt8jifKlbTc">“ A Drop in the Ocean”</a></p><p>*</p><p>This is it. You’ve reached the end of our story. It has been a long process, and now we would like to hear from YOU. Did you read it in one sitting? Did you savour each chapter? Which part(s) stood out? Are you satisfied with the ACITW plots we closed, or did you have different headcanons? What do you think of our OCs? Tell us about it!!! We’d love to hear your comments - and if you know anyone you think might enjoy this story too, we’d appreciate a fic rec!</p><p>We hereby issue a blanket permission for fanart and/or continuations of ADITO, our OCs and original plots. We’d love to see any derivative works, link us if you do!</p><p>Readers coming here from Tumblr; you may have picked up some discourse about a ‘Kurtbastian feud’, ‘KB drama’ or ‘the toxic fandom’. We would like to state once and for all, that for us, writing fanfiction is not (and never has been) a competition. In the end, all of us are only writing our own interpretation of a work of media, out of passion, with the same tropes and plots, to make our characters (and ourselves) happy. We encourage author solidarity and the ‘holy shit 2 cakes’ mentality.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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